The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:20Okay, hurry up, you know what kind of mood Dwan gets in when we're late.
00:23See you, baby.
00:24All right, you girls have a good time.
00:25Bye, Uncle Bernie.
00:26Oh, hold on, man.
00:27Pump the break.
00:28Where you going?
00:28I don't have time for questions.
00:30I can't keep Dwan waiting.
00:31I'm getting my hair done.
00:34Done?
00:35Men don't get their hair done.
00:36They get it cut, edge, lined up, back in the 80s, sloped, but never done.
00:42Hell no.
00:43Baby's time this boy get his hair cut at Real Bob's shop.
00:46Dwan is real.
00:47He keeps my scalp soft.
00:48I think it's the aloe vera.
00:49Come on.
00:49Come on.
00:50Come on now, baby.
00:51No, man.
00:51Don't no Real Bob working no damn salon.
00:53Real Bob will put rubbing alcohol on your head.
00:55We'll change the stuff that hurt.
00:56Why does everything you like always have to hurt?
00:59Look here.
00:59Look at Wanda.
01:00I'm serious.
01:01It's time for this boy to start hanging around some men.
01:03I'm talking about men, the name ain't Twan.
01:05You getting your hair cut at Earl's Barber Shop, and that's it.
01:08Sorry, sweetie.
01:09Come on, girls.
01:10Come on.
01:10You finish watching the game, you go get your hair cut.
01:12Come on.
01:12Come on.
01:13Get over there.
01:13For those of you all that don't know, in our community, a barber shop's an important
01:18place for a young boy.
01:19See, it's where men talk sports, politics, and community.
01:23Where wisdom get passed down.
01:26So I might have been raised by a big mama, but the barber shop is where I learned how to
01:30be one of the fellas.
01:31So that's where you learn how to put a little bass in your boy when you're talking smack.
01:35Or when you sit in the cut and break down what her brother's saying.
01:39You'll be up there, yeah, yeah, that's kind of deep.
01:41Yeah.
01:47What's up, you square?
01:49Hey, look at you.
01:52What's up, dude?
01:56I ain't scared of you.
01:57I ain't scared of you much.
01:59Hey, Earl, look here, man.
02:00This is my little nephew, man.
02:02I brought him down here.
02:03I want him to get all edged up, and I want him to hang out with the fellas.
02:05It's time for him to learn something.
02:06Hey, man.
02:07Well, have a seat over there, Jordan.
02:08Elaine will be free next.
02:09What's up, little man?
02:10What's up, Earl?
02:11Oh, man.
02:11I'm looking good, feeling good.
02:13You know what I'm saying?
02:13Jump this game, jump this game, jump this game.
02:14No, no.
02:15How you do that?
02:16I was winning this time.
02:18What's wrong with you?
02:18Get this kid away from the table.
02:20Take your kid and discipline him.
02:23George, George, you don't never touch the board in the middle of the game.
02:26These guys are serious.
02:28They'll cut you from hole to hole.
02:30I'm sorry, Deacon.
02:31You know, that's why I'm bringing them down here.
02:33You need to hang out with us.
02:34You know what I mean?
02:34Oh, yeah.
02:35Okay.
02:35Wow.
02:36What I'm saying, Earl, man.
02:38I remember, man, the day, man, we came up in here.
02:40Remember that Christmas party?
02:41Hey, hey, hey, hey, man.
02:42Put that down.
02:43George.
02:43Put that down.
02:45Little man.
02:45Put that down.
02:46Put it down.
02:48Don't be doing that.
02:49I was watching something.
02:51Wow.
02:52Look at all these famous people.
02:53They all get their hair cut here?
02:56Yeah, man.
02:57Shoot.
02:57Look here.
02:57Right here, Colin Powell, man.
02:59You got Cornel West.
03:01Right here, Uncle Bernie.
03:04Wow.
03:06Look at that.
03:07Look at that.
03:08Earl.
03:09Mm.
03:09You know, Earl was the only one I let touch my head back in the day.
03:13Yeah, that was before he got a personal style.
03:15That's bull.
03:16Offer you the job first.
03:17You told him you couldn't leave the shop.
03:18Hey, of course not.
03:20All right?
03:20My granddaddy's bank on this shop.
03:22Well...
03:23Yeah, then my daddy's bank.
03:25Right, okay.
03:25Now, my bank.
03:27Yeah, I've been paying that.
03:28How long have you been in that way?
03:29Man, since the first day I got here, man.
03:31Hey, look at that now.
03:32That's what I'm talking about.
03:33All right.
03:33Throw it down.
03:34Throw it down.
03:36Oh, that was a style if you knew it, man.
03:38Damn.
03:39All right.
03:40Don't start that, man.
03:41Don't start that.
03:42Now, if you start the cussing, I'm going to put your ass out of here.
03:45Hold on.
03:45You're going to tell me how to talk.
03:46All right.
03:47Put you out of here.
03:50They're not about to fight.
03:51They're just talking junk.
03:52That's what men do.
03:53That's how we have fun.
03:54I want you to listen and learn something, okay?
03:56We better do it.
03:57What you going to do to them, girl?
03:58You see how scared that boy got in America?
04:00He probably squirted a few drops.
04:02But see, that's why I brought him down here.
04:04To show him how men express themselves.
04:06Loud.
04:07Aggressive.
04:15I've got to say, girls.
04:17We are hot.
04:19Yes, we are.
04:22Thanks, Aunt Wanda.
04:23Oh, you're welcome, babies.
04:26Let's go.
04:27Oh.
04:28Oh.
04:28Oh.
04:29Oh.
04:35Oh.
04:35Oh.
04:36Oh.
04:38Oh.
04:38What was that?
04:39The house beep.
04:40There isn't any smoke, so it must be broken.
04:43We need Uncle Bernie.
04:45Ladies, we may look fabulous, but we are also three intelligent, independent women.
04:50There is nothing that we need a man to do that we cannot do for ourselves.
04:54You're right.
04:55Exactly.
04:56So it's probably a battery.
04:58We just need a ladder.
04:59Oh, the beep.
05:00Oh.
05:03Be careful, because I'm tender-headed.
05:05But I find that nice scalp massage really helps.
05:08Be slow around the temples, and I'll have to release some tension.
05:13Boy, shut up, man.
05:14He ain't used to no real barbershop, you know?
05:17Don't worry about it, little man.
05:18I'll hook you up with some waves so your girlfriend can play with them.
05:22Girlfriend?
05:22I'm only ten.
05:24When I was ten, I had a girlfriend for every day of the week.
05:27Watch out, Phil.
05:28Watch out.
05:29Every day.
05:30Girl, that's because in Alabama, just being able to read, you can get a girlfriend.
05:35That's right.
05:35But a few great girls now, too sophisticated.
05:38Hey, man.
05:39Hey, man.
05:41Little man, all you really need to do is get on a team.
05:44Then the girls come lining up.
05:46Well, I'm already being recruited for the junior high science team, but I don't wanna go metric
05:51too early.
05:52Sonny ain't talking about that kind of team.
05:54See, sports really ain't its thing, you know.
05:56You gotta ask me.
05:57Uncle Bernie always says I have the lungs of a butterfly, which is funny because butterflies
06:02don't even have lungs.
06:03They breathe through their skin like this.
06:05Oh!
06:06Come on.
06:07Slide it down.
06:07Slide it down.
06:07Come on, come on.
06:08Calm down.
06:09Come on.
06:10Come on.
06:10Sit down.
06:10You know, Jordan, you're pretty smart.
06:12I bet you'd make a good scientist like George Washington Carver.
06:16You know, he invented peanut butter.
06:18Black man.
06:20Benjamin Banneker made the first working clock in America.
06:24A black man.
06:25Yeah, you just keep it up.
06:27Let me tell you how smart this boy is.
06:29The other day...
06:30That was unfair.
06:31Push them.
06:32Good call, little man.
06:34Yeah, he did push it.
06:35Yeah.
06:35That was very good.
06:37Yeah, sure was a good call, Jay.
06:39Push him.
06:39He ain't touch him.
06:40What is y'all talking about?
06:41Yeah, it was a good call.
06:43No, baby.
06:43Push them.
06:44Push them.
06:45Push them.
06:45Push them.
06:47Honey, you would be proud.
06:49The smoke alarm had a little wiring problem, and we girls fixed it.
06:54You mean to tell me you got involved with some wires?
07:07Babe, won't you just...
07:08There must be a cross-wiring problem, and I will fix it after dinner.
07:19A do-ray?
07:20No, it's my waves coming.
07:22Well, take that thing off your head right now.
07:24This ain't B.E.T.
07:25You act like you got some sense.
07:28Ooh, grape juice.
07:30You know what they say.
07:31The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice.
07:35Okay.
07:37And...
07:38Where did you get that from?
07:40The barber shop.
07:42Hmm.
07:43Did the guys talk about anything else at the barber shop?
07:47Animals and stuff.
07:48Have you heard it's the poor rat that only has one hole to run into?
07:53And then we talked about sports.
07:56Okay.
07:57Sports is a good conversation for a boy your age.
08:00Like how the first thing an NBA rookie gets is a new car and a white girl.
08:07We ain't mad at him though.
08:08Oh, but I'm mad at you though.
08:11That's how the white man get his money back.
08:17What?
08:18I can't hear you.
08:19I can't hear you.
08:23Bernie!
08:23Bernie!
08:26You got me in trouble.
08:29So that's how they get their money.
08:31All right, so the boy's still got a lot to learn.
08:35I've taken him down and exposed him to a world of men.
08:38Now his next lesson is to learn to code.
08:40Oh, you men know what I'm talking about.
08:43For instance, there's stuff that we don't say around women because it's too wrong.
08:47Now what if he repeated what I said about a...
08:50No, no, no, no.
08:52That man ain't gonna slip up, no, sir.
08:54I know when the code's in full effect.
08:56And soon, the boy will too.
09:08Oh, Bernie, did you see any waves coming in?
09:10No, boy, quit brushing your hair before you brush a groove into it.
09:14You start looking like E.T. cousin.
09:19Listen, Jordan, I want to talk to you for a minute.
09:22You know, son, I'm glad you enjoy yourself down at the barbershop.
09:26But, Jordan, you can't be repeating stuff that you hear down there.
09:30Why not? It's good stuff.
09:31It sure is.
09:32But, see, that's what men do.
09:34We get around each other.
09:35We say things that we can't say around women.
09:37You know, it's not because we're scared.
09:40Well, maybe Deke is.
09:42You know, Deke woman's so big, you can change the ties.
09:45So, from now on, whatever you hear down in the barbershop stays at the barbershop.
09:51You got it?
09:52Got it.
09:53Okay, buddy.
09:55Now go on and brush your hair, man.
09:57130.
09:58No.
10:00One, two, three, four.
10:07Screwdriver.
10:09Screwdriver.
10:11Alright.
10:13Hook thing with a squiggly edge.
10:16Hook thing.
10:18Hey, what are you all doing?
10:19I uncrossed a wire and that infernal beeping came back.
10:23And no.
10:24I don't need your handle.
10:28She's getting a little crazy.
10:30She wanted to tie a rope to my leg and send me up there.
10:34Is that little quitter talking?
10:36Honey.
10:37I got it.
10:40I told you.
10:43Oh, and honey, can you put the ladder away?
10:47Thanks.
10:53Hey, baby.
10:54Hey, honey.
10:54What you doing?
10:56Enjoying the quiet.
10:57The blissful nothingness of a non-beeping house.
11:01Well, go all to get your bliss on.
11:02Joy's not going out in the barbershop.
11:04I thought Jordan got his hair cut yesterday.
11:07Hair cut ain't got nothing to do with going down to the barbershop, baby.
11:09Oh, so what do you guys do down there all day?
11:12I don't know.
11:13What do you women be doing down there all day at the beauty salon?
11:16Nothing.
11:18Well, we do nothing, too.
11:20You got your world, we got ours.
11:22Yeah, well, you just make sure Jordan doesn't bring nothing home from your world.
11:26Yeah, okay.
11:27I'm sorry.
11:31Oh, it tarts me.
11:34Babe, what did you just...
11:35Honey, I don't need your help.
11:36Excuse me.
11:38Girls!
11:39Come on, girls.
11:49You are my pride and joy.
11:56I just love you, love it all in my life.
12:15You got a good kid there, Bernie.
12:18Yeah.
12:18I got an admitter.
12:19I was a little worried at first about him fitting in.
12:22But he's going to fit in just fine.
12:23Look out.
12:24That man?
12:24Oh, that man's great.
12:26He is great.
12:29Smart.
12:30He's funny.
12:31It's inquisitive.
12:33I mean, you can figure out any damn thing, Earl.
12:35I'm telling computers, puzzles, you name it.
12:37Yeah?
12:38Look at you.
12:39You got your chest all out.
12:41Yeah?
12:41Yeah.
12:42I'm proud, Earl.
12:44That's my little man.
12:50That's when I found out airport security don't play, baby.
12:53Oh, we were telling you about the time when we found the raccoon in the attic.
12:56Oh, oh, oh, dig this here.
12:58Come here.
12:58Come here, son.
12:59Little man, you tell.
13:00Listen, listen, listen.
13:01So we heard this noise in the attic, right?
13:03And I thought it was a ghost.
13:05But Uncle Barry said, there's no succeed.
13:06So then he set up one of them to go see what it was.
13:09And then bam!
13:10Out from the attic into the kitchen, jumps this huge raccoon.
13:13He's like...
13:13And I'm like...
13:15Oh, oh, Lord!
13:16And then...
13:18And then...
13:18And then...
13:19And then...
13:19I'm ready to get the broom and the lighter fluid.
13:21And then...
13:22And then...
13:23That raccoon ran away with his tail on fire.
13:29America, between you and me, that raccoon was half-dead when we first found him.
13:34Now, that part about the fire may have been from a movie the boy saw last week.
13:38Now, am I condoning him lying?
13:40No.
13:41Because what he's doing is called putting a hundred on ten.
13:44And that's how you tell the story, America.
13:47It's a bubble shop.
13:48I wonder what's so scared her hands were shaking almost as much as Old Earl's.
13:54Right, Uncle Bernie?
13:58What'd you say, boy?
13:59You know how much your hands shake when you're cutting hair.
14:02You can put ice cream in them and make them a milkshake.
14:06I can't take credit for that one.
14:07That was all Uncle Bernie's.
14:09It's funny, though.
14:10Boy, you got a big mouth.
14:12Oh, listen.
14:13Come on, y'all.
14:14Y'all can't believe everything little man talking about.
14:17He exaggerated.
14:18Put a hundred on ten.
14:19Why?
14:19Was that one not funny?
14:20Okay, how about the time when he said...
14:22How about the time when you said you've seen better fades on shrubbery?
14:27Shrubbery!
14:28Hey, hey!
14:30My hands don't shake in an earthquake.
14:33Oh, come on.
14:34Earl, you're just making a few jokes.
14:37What's the matter?
14:38I thought men like to joke around with each other.
14:40That ain't no joke.
14:42That's like telling Luther he can't sing.
14:46Or telling Oprah she can't make white folk cry.
14:51That's cool, man.
14:53Stop that, man.
14:54I'm a comedian, man.
14:55I'm just making a few jokes.
14:56That's all, Earl.
14:57I see.
14:58Well, there's one way to find out.
15:03How's that?
15:03Oh, well, you know what?
15:04I'll just edge up the back.
15:07Okay?
15:11Let's edge it up.
15:16You know, look here.
15:17Look here.
15:18Look.
15:18Oh, brother.
15:20We're grown, man.
15:21We need to stop this bull.
15:22Come on, man.
15:24Let me give you an air job.
15:30All right.
15:31Just, just, I got to show sad.
15:33All right.
15:34Hold on.
15:34I think I just got over the tetris.
15:35Yeah.
15:36No, I'm going to...
15:39Come on.
15:39Come on.
15:39Come on.
15:40Come on.
15:40Come on.
15:40You ain't going to use no gun?
15:41No, no.
15:41I don't need to.
15:42Come on.
15:42Let a spoon miss it on there, Earl.
15:44Come on, man.
15:45Come on.
15:45Let it make me up.
15:45No, Earl.
15:46Come on, Earl.
15:47Oh, see?
15:48I knew it.
15:50Well, I'm going to tell you something.
15:51If I'm not good enough to cut your hair, you're not welcome in my shop.
15:54Oh, Earl.
15:54Come on, man.
15:55Hey, Wayne.
15:56Wayne.
15:56Go get me that picture of Isaac from the love boat.
16:00A space just opened up on the wall.
16:03Come on, now.
16:03I'll do that, man.
16:04Girl, we go way back, man.
16:05Come on.
16:06This ain't nothing but some more bills.
16:12Come on, George.
16:32Aunt Wanda.
16:33What?
16:34Can you please do something?
16:35I cannot get my homework finished.
16:48All right.
16:53OK.
16:54What are we supposed to do in the dark?
16:57There was some no's involved.
17:00I'm 99% sure that was my first kiss.
17:05Hey, what the hell happened to all the lights?
17:08Are we hiding from Jehovah's Witnesses again?
17:10Didn't I tell you to get in your room?
17:12Well, I can't see.
17:13Bump in the stuff until you get there.
17:15Now, get.
17:15Um, honey, I shut the power off.
17:18For what?
17:21I can't fix the smoke alarm, I can't fix the smoke alarm, and you were right.
17:23I should have had you do it in the first place.
17:25Me?
17:26Which one's the smoke alarm?
17:28One I told you from the beginning.
17:30They look in the yellow page on the Claire Electrical.
17:32They the one in the wider place.
17:34Sweetheart, you ain't got to prove nothing to me, baby.
17:37I'm a comedian.
17:39Ain't nothing funny about electricity.
17:41I don't play with God.
17:47Yo, dawg, did, uh, Bernie tell you how he got kicked out of Earl's barbershop?
17:51Nah, what happened?
17:53I misunderstood.
17:55I told you that in confidence.
17:57Yeah, Bernie wouldn't let Earl cut his hair, right?
17:59So Earl said he was all Hollywood now.
18:01Oh, for real?
18:02Yo, yo, yo, man.
18:03Bernie got an A.
18:04Bernie got an image to protect, man.
18:06A brand.
18:07And his hair is a part of that.
18:08Now, if Earl don't understand, later for him, man, yo, I got your back, dawg.
18:13I know, big fella, man.
18:14But I swear, man, I didn't mean to diss Earl like that.
18:16That's right, because you love Earl.
18:18Yeah, man, Jordan wasn't the guy who got me kicked out.
18:20Sitting up there repeating every doggone thing I said in the privacy of my own home.
18:23What?
18:24Didn't you teach him the code?
18:25Yeah, first half, I taught him everything inside the barbershop.
18:30But the second half, everything was implied, implications.
18:33I mean, you should have heard the boy.
18:34He said nothing to talk about, man, let's send Earl some flowers to apologize so a man
18:39don't do stuff like that, man, when that thing work themselves out.
18:42So you're right.
18:43You know, you got to live by the code, man.
18:45You live by the code, you die by the code.
18:48See, that's the truth right there.
18:49Give me two code.
18:52The code, right?
18:53Code.
18:54No joke.
18:55Here you go.
18:56Give me a deal.
18:57You know what?
18:58Give me a deal.
18:59You need two?
19:05Hello?
19:07He's where?
19:09I'll be right down.
19:11Thanks for calling, man.
19:20Joy.
19:21Uncle Bernie, how'd you know I was here?
19:23I told him.
19:25You missed a spot.
19:26Boy, you're supposed to be grounded.
19:27How the hell did you get down here?
19:29He took three buses.
19:30What?
19:30Yeah.
19:31I have to apologize to Earl.
19:33He made me let him steer around here to help out.
19:35Joy, come on over here.
19:37Man, I need to talk to you.
19:43Boy, come on.
19:47Come on, come on, son.
19:48Son, son.
19:48What you doing?
19:50I'm going to whoop you.
19:50I want to talk to you.
19:51Come on over here.
19:54I know you said the manly way was to let things work themselves out.
19:58But I messed it up for us here.
20:01I had to fix it.
20:03Jordan, you disobeyed me.
20:05And I don't like that.
20:08But you took three buses to come all the way down here to apologize for something you thought
20:12was right?
20:13Boy, it took a man to do that.
20:16I'm proud of you.
20:21Earl?
20:22Yeah?
20:26I want to thank you, man, for calling me by my nephew.
20:30Yeah.
20:32Thanks, Earl.
20:33Yeah.
20:33You're good.
20:34Oh, you're good people.
20:35It's all right.
20:36It's all right.
20:37Hey, Jordan, you done?
20:38Not yet.
20:43Hike me up, Mr. Davis.
20:45All right!
20:54You got any good?
20:56Yeah.
20:56I got some in the back.
20:57Jordan may be a little man, but he's a crazy little man.
21:01America, wait for it.
21:03Wait for it.
21:06Ow!
21:08Little man better hope Twan's still open.
21:11Look at this.
21:13Ow!
21:14Ow!
21:21Jordan, come over here.
21:22Oh, come on.
21:26Oh, boy.
21:27Come here.
21:28Come on, now.
21:28What you doing?
21:29I don't want to whoop you.
21:30I want to talk to you.
21:31Come over here and sit down.
21:35I know you said the manly way was to work less.
21:38I know you said the manly way...
21:40See, you're wrong.
21:40You know you're wrong.
21:42You ain't no business coming down here while you stutter.
21:44I should push your teeth up in your gums.
21:48Ow!
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