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00:01Tonight on The Dukes...
00:03It's the chef! He's alive! He's lit!
00:05He's alive, all right. But is he really Roscoe?
00:08Well, it's just some kind of joke, huh?
00:10Ah!
00:10Does that sound like a joke?
00:11Hmm.
00:13Let's get the show on the road.
00:15Roscoe the Renegade!
00:17Look at this!
00:20We've lost Roscoe.
00:21No!
00:22She was you!
00:24Ah!
00:25I couldn't believe it!
00:27No, Roscoe!
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you've never saw
00:43Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:49Straightening the curves
00:52Flatening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:08That's just a little bit more than the law will allow
01:13Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood
01:36Well, sir, it was a lovely spring morning and Bo and Luke had the general out for a little spin
01:41Nothing really special
01:42But what to their wandering eyes should appear
01:45Yep, you guessed it
01:46Two damsels in distress
01:48Which for Bo and Luke usually means trouble
01:51Smoke it, Sue Ann
01:53And what he gets
01:54I ain't got car trouble
01:55Well, if I might borrow a phrase from Roscoe
01:58Oh, I love it!
01:59I love it!
02:01Hey, wait a minute!
02:05I'll be a son of a gun!
02:08Where have you handsome girls been hiding out these last couple months?
02:11Well, we'd be happy to tell you Duke boys all about it
02:14While you're changing that tire for us
02:16Uh-huh
02:18Uh, we can do that, sure
02:20You see, that sizzling repartee is what makes the Duke boys so popular and hazardous
02:24Boss Hogg was worried sick over the expected arrival of one million dollars in brand new bills from the Atlanta
02:30Federal Reserve
02:31To replace the worn-out bills, which in itself is a miracle
02:34Since once Boss gets his hands on money, it don't do too much circulating
02:37Here's a street that goes right past the courthouse, you got it?
02:40And here's a street that goes right across it, making an intersection, and there's my bank
02:45Oh, right at the corner, you see?
02:47Now, at exactly 12 noon, that armored truck with all that money is gonna come driving into town and park
02:52itself right there next to my bank
02:54Right
02:54Now, when that armored truck arrives at 12 noon with all that money
02:58Well, the driver's gonna have a photopositive ID card for you two, you see?
03:04And you, Enos, I want you right out there in front of the bank, you see that?
03:08And Roscoe, you'll be right there, too
03:10Wait just a peep, pick a minute here
03:11Listen, I am the sheriff and he is just a deputy, how come his ex is bigger than mine?
03:16That's right, Mr. Hawk
03:17You keep that up and you're gonna be an ex-sheriff, all right
03:19All right, here, look, look, look
03:21Big enough?
03:22That's a big
03:22That make you happy?
03:23All right, now, come on
03:25What I wanna do is to get out to the bank and practice, so we'll know we got it exactly
03:28right
03:29Hey, boss, and a little flash could be right there, and then we'd have a tic-tac-toe
03:33Oh, come on!
03:34Oh, please, come on
03:35Oh, I'm good at games, you know
03:40Well, ain't you through yet?
03:42Yeah, I'm through
03:44Look, girls, I tell you what we'll do, what I'll do
03:50Bring this tire over to Cooter's garage in town, and he'll fix it for y'all
03:59Here's your keys
04:00And when do you figure we can pick the tire up?
04:02You won't have to pick it up
04:03Me and Bo will bring it with us when we meet you for a picnic
04:06Jensen's Hollow, stay in about an hour
04:08Well, we'll bring the food
04:09Yeah
04:09Bo will bring the tire
04:10All right
04:12Food and the tire
04:14Well, I'll eat worse
04:19Now, you just like I showed you on the chart
04:21You're staying here by the bank
04:22Oh!
04:23You're supposed to be right down there by the curb, ain't you?
04:26Yeah, that's the idea
04:27Wait a minute, I change all that
04:29Yeah
04:29You get up here on the bank
04:30Oh, maybe up here high
04:32Yeah, I like that
04:34No, wait a minute, too far away
04:35Get over here, both of you
04:36By the curb
04:37Right here
04:38All right, here, with
04:39With our hands on our guns
04:41Sure
04:41Yeah, and if anybody should get any fancy ideas about trying to see that
04:45Enough of him?
04:46I suppose so
04:47You suppose so?
04:49After a month of studying that boob sheriff, plus all the information we know about him
04:52You better know so
04:53That armored truck comes in tomorrow with the money at 12 noon
04:57You've got to be Roscoe P. Coltrane
05:02Yeah, and make everyone in town believe it
05:05Gentlemen
05:06You have nothing to worry about
05:08I am more than ready
05:11The doctor did one heck of a plastic job on that face
05:15I can't tell him apart
05:16Me neither
05:17Boy, when that armored truck guard compares him with that photo positive ID card
05:22He ain't gonna see no difference, no way
05:25Gentlemen, we have a saying in the theater of which I have been associated for 20 years
05:30Let's get the show on the road
05:31Let's get that sheriff
05:36Come on
05:37Come on
05:37Come on
05:40Come on
05:41Come on
05:43Come on
05:43Come on
05:45Yes
05:46Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho
05:49What do we have here?
05:50What a happy one
05:52Come on
05:52Come on
05:53Let's try to take him out of town
05:57Police works my life
05:59Come on
06:00Police works my life
06:13Come on
06:14Come on
06:15You ain't right, Roscoe
06:17Come on, now
06:17Wait a second
06:19You're serious
06:20Let me see now
06:22Roscoe, you can't write us a ticket for illegal parking
06:24You just knocked the General Lee into the red zone yourself
06:26Oh, tiddly-tuddly
06:28Now, that's just your word against mine
06:30Now, you're in the red zone, you get a ticket
06:32I've already made it up
06:33Roscoe, do you know the meaning of integrity?
06:36Oh, are you kidding?
06:37It's something you ain't got a lot of
06:39And this is what I think of your ticket, too
06:41Well, see
06:43See, that's a shame-shame
06:44Everybody knows your name
06:45You get another ticket for that
06:46Well, good job
06:47Well, you better go get another ticket book
06:49I gotta go get another ticket book
06:52Now, you two
06:52You just freeze it right here
06:54We'll freeze it right here
06:54I'll be right back
06:55Okay
06:56You just go
06:57Oh, I love it
06:58I love it
06:59Police work, here's my life
07:05Hey, Roscoe
07:06Why don't you mail it to us?
07:13I see you
07:13See, I knew you weren't gonna freeze
07:16I love it
07:17I love it
07:17Hot pursuit
07:19Come on, Kelly
07:20Let's get it
07:38What does integrity mean?
07:40Will you forget that now?
07:43Shoot, Roscoe
07:44There's no way we're gonna meet
07:45That girl's on a picnic now
07:47Gotta get away from Roscoe
07:49I told you, well, not today
08:09Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
08:28no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
08:30no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
08:30no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
08:31no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
08:33no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no
08:41Maybe his car broke down.
08:42Let's say we turn around and get him a hand.
08:44Are you crazy? He's just going to give us some parking tickets.
08:46I know, but we can't just leave him out here alone.
08:50Are you sure?
08:51And turn it around.
08:52All right.
08:59What? What? What?
09:01Wait a minute here.
09:03Don't go scuffing me.
09:04I just was in a horrendous...
09:06Digit! Well, don't scuff me.
09:07You know I'm an officer.
09:09Oh, the law.
09:09I'm rushing to kill you.
09:11Digit, listen.
09:13I'm serious. You're going to make me mad.
09:16Digit, you know who you've got here?
09:19Digit.
09:20Oh!
09:22Digit.
09:30Hang on.
09:32Stop it.
09:36Tire tracks.
09:43Roscoe?
09:44Roscoe, Roscoe!
09:46You're going to be trapped in there. Come on.
10:01I'm inside him, Luke.
10:02I can't see anything.
10:03How about you?
10:04Oh, no.
10:05Go down again.
10:16Where is he, Luke?
10:18I don't know.
10:20Roscoe!
10:24Roscoe!
10:30Luke ain't in there.
10:31Come on. Let's get out of here.
10:32Come on. We've got to get cool.
10:36Come on.
10:37Come on out.
10:39Come on.
10:41Come on.
10:42Come on.
10:43Come on.
10:49Oh, Roscoe never could swim a lick.
10:52Luke,
10:53if Roscoe ain't in that car...
10:58I know.
11:03He's gone, Luke.
11:07Roscoe's gone.
11:11Why do you reckon it is that sometimes losing an enemy is kind of like losing a friend?
11:21Look, I'm...
11:22I looked everywhere in that dang car.
11:25He just ain't in there.
11:29I'm going to look some more.
11:32Ain't no use.
11:34What?
11:36Or Roscoe ain't going anywhere.
11:40I'm going to call Cooter.
11:41I'm CD.
11:42Get that wrecker out here.
11:44Uncle Jesse and Daisy.
11:47Oh, shoot!
11:53Cooter.
11:53Cooter.
11:54This is Luke Duke calling Cooter Davenport.
11:57Come on, Luke.
11:57Listen, get out here to Hazard Lake just as soon as you can.
12:00We got big trouble.
12:02Uncle Jesse, Daisy.
12:04Here's Luke.
12:05We got trouble out at Hazard Lake.
12:08Get here, all right?
12:12Uncle Jesse, what do you think this is all about?
12:16I don't know.
12:17But it worries me that Luke couldn't tell us over the CB.
12:35Oh, no.
12:40Oh, my God.
12:42What?
12:43Uncle Jesse.
12:45No, we...
12:46We dove down a couple times and, uh...
12:50Couldn't find no body anywhere.
12:51There's no sign of Roscoe.
12:55Poor Roscoe.
12:57I guess we just made them chase us one too many times, didn't we, Luke?
13:01Uncle Jesse, we didn't mean no harm, innit?
13:03It isn't you that decides when somebody's time comes to go.
13:08Good Lord does that.
13:11Well, whether we like it or not, there's some things we gotta do.
13:17Uh, Cooter, get your tow truck and let's get that car out of there.
13:22And I guess somebody's gonna have to tell J.D. and Lulu.
13:28Well, let's get at it.
13:36Fortunately, friends, the only thing hurt about Roscoe is his pride.
13:42Careful, Sheriff.
13:44You hurt yourself.
13:46Just relax.
13:46You ain't going nowhere.
13:48All right, now.
13:49I've got it figured out.
13:50This is a kidnapping, right?
13:52Wrong.
13:53Well, how much money do you want?
13:55Nothing.
13:56Well, I can raise that.
13:58Believe me, Sheriff, you're not kidnapped.
14:01We just, uh, borrowed you for a while.
14:05Borrow?
14:05Oh, that rattles my slats.
14:07You don't borrow a human being.
14:09You borrow a cup of sugar, maybe.
14:11All right, you mavericks.
14:12What are you really up to?
14:13Take the blindfold off, see if you can figure out what we're up to.
14:17Yeah, well, now you finally come to your senses, see, through fear.
14:21That's just...
14:23Smart man.
14:32I mean, you're me.
14:35I mean, I'm you.
14:38Mama didn't tell me there was two of us.
14:40And there isn't.
14:41There's only one Roscoe P. Coltrane, and that's me, you dipstick.
14:46You can't be me.
14:48I'm me.
14:49No, not as long as I'm you.
14:51There is no you, just me being you.
14:55Well, you can't fool me.
14:57Listen here.
14:58I've got an advantage because I've known me a lot longer than you have.
15:02So there.
15:03My dear Mr. Coltrane, now there can't be two sheriffs in Hazard when that armored car gets there, can there?
15:08Can it, Woody?
15:09You talk too much.
15:11Oh, see, oh, same, same.
15:14Everybody knows your name.
15:15Now I know what you're up to.
15:17You're after that Federal Reserve money, aren't you?
15:19Well, I'll tell you one thing.
15:21It won't work.
15:23I'll tell you why.
15:24Because that driver, he's got a positive ID photo of me, and he can tell it's me in a second.
15:30Oh, you really think so, huh?
15:32Yeah.
15:33Well, I don't.
15:33And if he can't, then you get the blame.
15:36Kill, kill, kill, you dipstick.
15:39Oh, Lord.
15:39I love it.
15:40I love it.
15:41Kee-gee-gee.
15:42Where is he?
15:42Meanwhile, boss was spitting fire because old Roscoe wasn't there for another practice session to protect the Federal Reserve money.
15:48It's been two hours since he had to go out to get himself a big orange.
15:55I sure wish the sheriff was here, too, Mr. Hawke.
15:58Flash here won't eat anything I'll try to give her.
16:00She's real loyal, ain't she?
16:02That ain't all she is, flea-bitten hound.
16:08Well, well, well, well.
16:09Lookie here, lookie here.
16:10Hound, Jesse.
16:11Hey, Daisy.
16:12All you dukes together in one big bunch, just like bananas.
16:18Did you get that joke?
16:19You want me to explain it to you?
16:20It's a joke.
16:21Hey, J.D., there's something we've got to tell you.
16:24Huh?
16:24We, uh...
16:25Uncle Jesse, we'll step outside, all right?
16:28Uh, yes, yeah.
16:30Uh, J.D., why don't you and Enos sit down over here?
16:35Sit down?
16:35Yeah.
16:36Well, I got myself the feeling that you're aiming to tell me something I don't want to hear.
16:40Uh, Enos, just sit down there.
16:43All right, I'm sitting.
16:45Go on, children.
16:46Now, fellas, I guess the best way to do it is just to get at it.
16:51We've lost Roscoe.
16:53Yeah, well, so have I.
16:54Went out of here two hours ago, ain't seen him since.
16:57What I'm trying to tell you, J.D., is that Roscoe is passed on.
17:02Chef Roscoe's dead?
17:04His car went off into Hazard Lake and went right to the bottom.
17:08He's done that hundreds of times, gone into the lake and walked away.
17:11This time he didn't walk away, J.D.
17:13Where is he, Uncle Jesse?
17:15We don't know.
17:17The boys dove on the car several times and they couldn't find him.
17:21We figure that maybe them currents out there in Hazard Lake just pulled him away.
17:28Roscoe's really gone, huh?
17:32Sorry, J.D.
17:33Lulu.
17:35Who told Lulu?
17:37Well, we figured that you'd want to do that.
17:43Yeah, I want to do that.
17:46I'm going to call her.
17:52What am I going to tell her?
17:55What am I going to tell her?
17:57That's a girl.
17:57Don't you worry, Nye.
17:59I'll take good care of you.
18:00Just like Jeff Williams, he's still here.
18:18Uncle Jesse, I think, uh, Luke and me run over to the church.
18:23Say, if you wish for Roscoe.
18:25I think we'd all like to.
18:27Daisy and I will go along.
18:29Of course, the Dukes had no way of knowing it, but Roscoe was doing his own praying to
18:33get free from them bandits and back to his job, because about all he had left was pride.
18:38Woody, we got a problem.
18:39It's all over the CB.
18:41Everybody thinks the sheriff drowned when his car went in that lake.
18:43Dude, are you kidding?
18:45Everybody thinks I'm dead?
18:47Well, listen, let me out of here.
18:49I've got to get to that funeral before they bury me alive.
18:51What are we going to do, Arnie?
18:53I mean, we can't have Woody here playing the part of a dead man.
18:55Hold it.
18:57They only think he's dead, right?
19:00Right.
19:00When you show up, you just stacked out a nice cock and bull story for everybody, how you
19:05pulled yourself out of that lake.
19:07Right.
19:08I just wander around in the woods for, say, 24 hours.
19:11Then I come out and I pretend like I don't remember anything.
19:15Good to buy that.
19:16Are you kidding?
19:18Nobody in his right mind would buy that.
19:21I don't even buy that.
19:22You make it sound like I hit my head on a rock or something.
19:28Thanks, Sheriff.
19:29That's good.
19:31We'll use it.
19:32You hit your head on a rock.
19:34I like that.
19:36And then I can just play it stupid like the sheriff here for giving us the idea in the
19:39first place.
19:40You, you, who are you calling dumb, you pee picker?
19:44No, I'll just, I'll give you, I'll just.
19:46That night, Boss and Lulu had about all they could say grace over, consoling each other
19:51about Roscoe.
19:52Dear, dear baby brother.
19:54I've lost my dear, dear friend and devoted business associate.
19:59He's gone to his reward.
20:02Yes, reward.
20:03Yes, reward.
20:04Oh, honey, kids, we've got to give Roscoe the biggest wake ever seen.
20:09Oh, it will be.
20:10It will be, Angel Fruitcake.
20:11I promise you.
20:12I mean, I'm sure half the county will be there.
20:20The next morning, three things was happening.
20:23The Dukes were on their way to Boss's house to pay their respects to Lulu and Boss.
20:27That armored truck with one million dollars was already on its way to Boss's bank and Hazard.
20:32And them bandits with that fake Roscoe was on their way to Hazard to steal the armored
20:36car money.
20:37How's that?
20:40Good enough.
20:53Looks like Uncle Jesse's going to have to cut back to a dozen biscuits, ain't he?
20:57Yes, got it.
21:04Y'all just go right in.
21:05Mr. and Mrs. Hogg will be receiving in the living room.
21:08All right.
21:18All right.
21:18Now, just remember, if there's any change when that money's coming in, you give us a call
21:22at the cabin.
21:23Yep.
21:24Don't.
21:25Good luck, Sheriff.
21:27Hurt.
21:28Think hurt.
21:30Oh.
21:36And so, that phony Roscoe was on his way, while the real Roscoe wasn't going nowhere.
21:43Is that good, huh?
21:45Good, good.
21:46Oh, Lulu.
21:49We're so sorry, Lulu.
21:52Lady.
21:54No.
21:55We're sorry about Roscoe, boss.
21:58Roscoe was a, he was a human being.
22:04Oh, Lulu, we're so sorry.
22:08We're sorry for you too, Flash.
22:10Oh, no.
22:16What?
22:18What?
22:20Boy.
22:23Okay.
22:26Toss hym on a gun, Bush.
22:28It can't be.
22:29It can't be.
22:31Please let it be.
22:32It is, it is.
22:33It's the Sheriff.
22:34It's the Sheriff.
22:35He's alive.
22:36He's alive.
22:40Everybody.
22:41Everybody.
22:42Everybody.
22:43Mr. Sheriff.
22:45Everybody.
22:45No, no, no, no.
22:46It's all right.
22:47It's all right, heinous.
22:49It's the Sheriff.
22:50He's alive.
22:51He's here.
22:51He's alive.
22:52He's here alive.
22:53He's here.
22:54He's alive! He's alive!
22:56He's alive!
22:58He's alive!
23:00You're alive!
23:02My baby brother ain't dead!
23:05Oh, Roscoe! You ain't a ghost!
23:06You're real! Let me feel you!
23:08Come, everybody, feel him!
23:09Oh, Roscoe!
23:11Oh, Roscoe! Welcome home!
23:14Oh, yeah, thank you.
23:16How'd you guys do? Ooh!
23:17Well, I tell you, ain't anybody happier to see you than we are.
23:20Looked everywhere for you. He's praying for you.
23:22Well, you took quite a look there, Roscoe.
23:24Oh, yes. I see.
23:26What happened is that when I went into that lake
23:28and I had to swim out,
23:30then I hit my head on a rock there.
23:33Now I feel a little queasy.
23:36You know what bothers me?
23:37I'd believe him in a New York Minute.
23:44Roscoe, you're a poor head.
23:46It's all black and blue.
23:48I think we better get you to Doc Applebee's right away.
23:50Well, uh...
23:53Uh...
23:53The doc...
23:54Well, I went to see Doc Applebee.
23:56He said it was just a minor injury.
23:59Doesn't look so minor to me.
24:01Look, Sheriff.
24:02There's Flash. Come out and say hello.
24:05Oh, yes.
24:06There's the puppy.
24:08Oh, well, did you miss me, boy?
24:13Flash is a girl.
24:14I met girl, you know.
24:15I think she snapped at me.
24:17I think that she's mad
24:18because I haven't been around to feed her, you know.
24:21Uh...
24:21Oh, boss.
24:22Uh...
24:23Listen.
24:24Um...
24:25Have you forgotten about the armored car?
24:27Huh? What armored car?
24:29The one that's bringing the money in.
24:31Bringing what money?
24:32The...
24:32Oh! The armored car bringing the money.
24:35Oh, my goodness.
24:35You're passing away.
24:37Well, it just took my mind right off of this.
24:38Looky here.
24:39It's 11 o'clock.
24:40Only got one hour left.
24:41Gotta give a hint.
24:42Oh, yes.
24:43Uh, Roscoe?
24:44What?
24:44Excuse me, but, uh...
24:46You remember that parking ticket
24:47you tried to give Luke and me this morning?
24:49Well, we'd be mighty proud to take them off your hands.
24:52And we won't even give you a run for it.
24:55Parking...
24:55Oh, those parking tickets.
24:57Well, uh...
24:58You forget about those parking tickets.
25:01You...
25:01Because, uh...
25:02I've got other things to think about.
25:05Roscoe!
25:05Come on, come on, come on.
25:07Don't stay in there.
25:08Venus, you too.
25:09Come on.
25:09Yes, sir.
25:11Well, he must have taken quite a knock on the head.
25:13He's acting awful strange, ain't he?
25:15Strange?
25:16Hey, when Roscoe puts off giving y'all a ticket,
25:18that ain't strange.
25:19That's downright weird.
25:20Well, he sure has been through a lot.
25:22Yeah.
25:23He gets a little rest.
25:25Could be his old self again.
25:28I suppose.
25:30That business about flash.
25:31Well, it's good to see him alive again.
25:33Yeah.
25:34I guess we don't need these things anymore, huh?
25:35Uh-uh.
25:36Well, as we're here, why don't we just go do some chopping?
25:39Come on, Daisy.
25:40All right, Uncle Jesse.
25:41Hang on.
25:41I'll walk with y'all.
25:42Yeah, give me some socks, will ya?
25:43Hey, shoot.
25:44We forgot to give him his hat.
25:45Well, let's go do it.
25:46All right.
25:47Ain't it something?
25:48It is.
25:48Good to see him back.
25:50Now, meanwhile, that armored truck with that million dollars was running smack on time
25:54to make hazard at high noon.
25:56And them bandits was counting the minutes to get their hands on that money, too.
26:00Boss was putting Enos and that phony Roscoe through the final security practice for when
26:04the armored truck arrived.
26:05So you remember everything that you're supposed to do, don't you?
26:08I certainly do, boss.
26:09I certainly do.
26:10All right.
26:11Oh.
26:12Excuse us.
26:13Hold everything.
26:14Hold everything.
26:15What's going on here?
26:16Well, in all the excitement about seeing Roscoe alive at Willigan.
26:20I forgot to give him his hat.
26:21I found it in your car under the water.
26:22A little big for me.
26:23All right.
26:24He got his hat.
26:25Now you get it.
26:26Yeah.
26:26Go on.
26:28I appreciate it, Luke.
26:30This is bullshit.
26:32Yeah.
26:32I'm Luke Roscoe.
26:33He's Luke.
26:34Of course you are.
26:36I know that.
26:37It's just that I have this tremendous pain in my head.
26:41Yeah.
26:41We can see that.
26:42All right.
26:42All right.
26:43He's got a pain in his head.
26:44Give him air.
26:44Give him room.
26:45Get, get, get.
26:46I'm glad you ain't dead, Roscoe.
26:47Good seeing us.
26:48All right, then.
26:49Now, where were we?
26:51Let's see.
26:52Oh!
26:52Cut that.
26:53Bless that fool.
26:57JD Hogg here.
27:00Well, ain't you gonna say it?
27:02Say what?
27:04What you always say.
27:06Which is, say hello from Roscoe.
27:10Hello from Roscoe.
27:11I will not.
27:12JD Hogg here, yeah.
27:14More trouble.
27:15That call was from the armored truck driver telling boss that they had a flat tire.
27:18And we're gonna be about an hour late delivering that money.
27:21All right.
27:22Yeah.
27:23All bad news.
27:24Bad news?
27:25Yeah.
27:25Flat tire on that armored truck.
27:27Oh.
27:28Yeah.
27:28I mean, that million dollars is gonna be one hour late getting here.
27:31Oh.
27:32Well, I gotta do something, meanwhile.
27:33All right.
27:33I'm going in my office and settle accounts.
27:35Roscoe Enos, you'll learn that map by heart.
27:38Mm-hmm.
27:39That phony Roscoe also realized that he had to get to a private phone to tell his buddies
27:43of the time change of that armored truck.
27:46Oh, uh, uh, Enos, uh, you stay here and study the chart, did you stay good?
27:52Uh, I've got other business.
27:55Nothing but Sheriff and Mr. Hoff told us to keep the phone practicing, sir.
28:00There's only two public phone booths in Hazard, and right now both of them are busy.
28:05In this one, that phony Roscoe was telling his fellow bandits about the armored trucks
28:09arriving at Boss's bank an hour later than planned.
28:11And in this one, Bo and Luke were on the wire with old Doc Appleby about Roscoe's behavior
28:16since the accident.
28:17Well, has Roscoe had an accident?
28:19I didn't know that.
28:20I haven't seen him in quite a spell.
28:22Well, that's funny.
28:23Why would he lie about something like that?
28:25Well, now, I'm not saying he lied.
28:27He might have had a concussion, and if he had a concussion, he could think he came to see me,
28:31or anything else for that matter.
28:33Shoot, is there anything me and Bo can do?
28:35Oh, yes, Luke, there is.
28:36If Roscoe's been hurt, get him over here to the Capital City Hospital for some tests.
28:40That may be easier said than done, but we'll give it a shot.
28:43Thanks a lot. Talk to you later.
28:45What's easier said than that? What'd he say?
28:47He said Roscoe may have a concussion.
28:48He wants us to get him over to Capital City Hospital just as soon as possible for tests.
28:53You got an oil portrait of how we're going to get Roscoe in a car to go to a hospital
28:56with us?
28:57Take a little arm twisting. Come on.
28:59All right.
29:04Hi, Sheriff. That didn't take long.
29:06You want to practice what to do when that armored truck arrives?
29:08Uh, no, Enos, not now. I've got a headache. Where's the Asperger?
29:12And the medicine cabinet opened up all the way, Sheriff.
29:15Oh, of course. It's just, oh, this thing is driving me absolutely.
29:21If you're hungry, I can get you something to eat over at Benny's.
29:24Uh, who's Benny?
29:26Remember, Sheriff, he makes your favorite pies a pie.
29:29Hey, Enos, how you doing?
29:31Hey, Bill. Hey, Luke.
29:32Mission.
29:34What are you doing here?
29:37Well, uh, Doc Appleby said that you might have some sort of concussion.
29:41And he told us to give you a lift over to Capital City Hospital.
29:45Yeah.
29:45And, uh, get some tests on it.
29:46No, I'm not going over there.
29:49Roscoe, you ain't yourself.
29:52Uh, you been forgetting things. You ain't well.
29:56Well, that's, that's a long and short of it.
29:57Come on, Roscoe, we're taking you to the hospital.
29:59Roscoe.
30:00I'm not going anywhere.
30:02Sheriff.
30:03Oh.
30:03I'm sorry, Sheriff.
30:05But you ain't yourself, Bo, and Luke's right.
30:07You best do like Doc Appleby says now.
30:11You know, Enos, you're a traitor.
30:13That's what you are.
30:14Uh, uh, we're supposed to be over there with that armored truck when it comes in with the money.
30:19Well, I can handle that myself.
30:22I ain't a traitor, Sheriff.
30:24I'm your friend.
30:27Uh, well, uh, listen.
30:29Uh, I'll go with you to the hospital.
30:31I just have to put these on the boss's desk.
30:34Not that way, Sheriff.
30:36Uh, Roscoe.
30:37Mm-hmm.
30:38Sheriff.
30:38Oh, yeah.
30:39The other way, Sheriff.
30:40It's just, this headache's got me crazy.
30:43It's just, oh.
30:44It's just...
30:47I ain't never seen nothing like this, even in the Marines.
30:51Uncle Jesse and Daisy ain't gonna believe it.
31:02Yeah.
31:03Listen, Woody.
31:04They're taking me to Capital City Hospital.
31:07They're taking you where?
31:08The Capital City Hospital.
31:10Now, listen.
31:11If you want me to meet that armored car, you better get me out of this.
31:14We're on our way.
31:17Get him out of here.
31:19Oh.
31:20Well, you finally come to your senses, huh?
31:23All right.
31:30All right.
31:32I'm ready to go to the hospital now.
31:34You're doing the right thing, Sheriff.
31:36Come on, let's keep going.
31:37Yeah.
31:43Now, them bad dudes had stashed poor Roscoe in the closet
31:46and took off to intercept an unsuspecting Bo and Luke.
31:59While Bo and Luke were taking that phony Roscoe to the hospital,
32:03that armored truck recovered
32:04and was getting closer to Hazard with that million dollars.
32:08Oh.
32:12Listen, boys.
32:14I'm not really feeling that bad, so let me see the hospital.
32:16Why don't you just take me back to Hazard?
32:18Let's let the doctor be the judge of that, all right, Roscoe?
32:21Oh, look.
32:22Please, Bo.
32:23Roscoe, for crying out loud, you keep making the same mistake.
32:26That's Luke.
32:27I'm Bo.
32:28Well, you're sick.
32:32Gotta be along here somewhere.
32:34This is the only road to Capital City.
32:37Yeah, there they are.
32:50What in the heck is he doing?
32:52I don't know, but you're gonna get a chance to talk to him, looks like.
32:58You see that?
32:59They're trying to run us off the road.
33:00Of course I saw that.
33:01Who are they?
33:04Dang it!
33:05Listen, that is a direct violation.
33:08I'll pull him over and I'll give him a ticket.
33:10Oh, it's all the same to you.
33:11I think I'll just run away right now.
33:12Do it, Bo.
33:13Step on it.
33:20I said pull it over.
33:21Roscoe!
33:21Now, how would you like to try to explain to Bo and Luke what was going on?
33:30Roscoe!
33:37All right, fellas.
33:38Get your hands up.
33:39Get over here.
33:40Are you satisfied now, Roscoe?
33:42Nice work, Woody.
33:44Woody?
33:45Who the heck is Woody?
33:47Come on, Woody.
33:49I'm Woody.
33:50I thought you country bumpkins would enjoy a good performance.
33:55Roscoe, what are you talking so funny for?
33:56Come on back where we belong.
33:57Bo, it ain't Roscoe.
33:58What are you talking about, it ain't Roscoe?
34:00Look at him.
34:00It ain't Roscoe.
34:02It ain't Roscoe.
34:03I can't believe we went for that hit in the head story.
34:05Sure would explain why I got everything wrong back there in town.
34:07Not even Flash knew he was a phony.
34:09Shut up!
34:10Hey, wait a minute.
34:10What did you do with Roscoe?
34:12Arnie, Kelly, get him in the car.
34:14Come on, fellas.
34:15Let's go for a ride.
34:16Get in the car.
34:16Get in there.
34:17I'm going.
34:25Hey!
34:29While them bandits took Bo and Luke up to their hideout,
34:32that million dollars was on its final leg before hitting Boss's bank in Haskell,
34:36where Boss was furious at Roscoe for not being there in a hill.
34:42Some boys just sit tight.
34:45You ain't going nowhere for a long time.
34:47Money's doing hazards in ten minutes.
34:50Let's get going.
34:51Ah!
34:52Is that that tight?
34:53Shut up.
34:54Yes, sir.
34:57Can't be too careful now, can we, Boss?
34:59Come on.
35:07He's on over here.
35:08I'll see if I can get a hold of your knife.
35:09Come on.
35:09Come on.
35:10Come on.
35:22Come on.
35:22We're getting rid of this.
35:24Can you open it?
35:25I got it.
35:26Ah.
35:27There.
35:28Here.
35:34What the heck was that?
35:35I don't know.
35:35We better check it out after we get loose.
35:39Ah, there you go.
35:40Here, help me out.
35:41You got it.
35:56Okay.
35:57Take it to your feet now.
35:58Come on.
36:03Ah.
36:05Ah!
36:07Ah!
36:08Oh.
36:08Roscoe!
36:09Hey!
36:09We thought she was dead.
36:10We thought they killed you for sure.
36:13No, kill Rusko B. Coltrane, that'll do you all day.
36:17Listen, wait till I get a hold of those two, especially that ugly one that looks like me.
36:21Listen, what we got to do right now is get in town before that armored car gets here, all right?
36:24All right, so put your clothes on, get this rope off your hand, and let's get on out of here.
36:27They done scuttled the wrong man here.
36:31Rusko B. Coltrane, are you kidding me?
36:51Hey, man, that money's going to be here any minute.
36:56Mr. Hawk, sir?
36:57I don't know where he is.
36:58Can I take, can I hold you?
37:10We're on time.
37:12Get going, Woody, and make it good.
37:16Woody does not give a good performance.
37:18He gives the best.
37:25Good, good, good, good, good, good, I love it, I love it.
37:33Meanwhile, Bo and Luke was taking every shortcut they knew, and inventing a few more to get the hazard on
37:38time.
37:39Oh, no, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.
37:41Oh, no, no, no.
37:44Now, that was a new one.
37:50Hey, Rosko, you can come up now.
37:51Oh, yes, sir.
37:53Oh, oh.
37:53Did that shoot?
37:54Luke tried raising Boss and Enos on the CV to warn him, but nobody had their ears on it.
37:59Hey, Enos, here's Luke Duke.
38:02Boss, he's gone in straight here.
38:04Rascal P. Coltrane reporting for duty, sir.
38:07Yeah, it's about time, too.
38:08Where you been?
38:08That armored truck is due to arrive any second.
38:11Oh, well, I'm sorry I'm late.
38:12What are you doing here, Sheriff?
38:14You're supposed to be on the way to the hospital with Bo and Luke.
38:16What?
38:18Oh, never mind about that.
38:20Look, look, look, that armored truck is coming there.
38:24All right, go on, go on.
38:25Get your car.
38:33All right, come on, come on.
38:35All right, get over there, show them your car.
38:38There was no way that guard was going to deliver that money
38:40till he made sure that he was dealing with the right people
38:43by checking his company's ID of Roscoe and Enos.
38:47Now, can you imagine an armored car company
38:48turning over a million dollars to them, too?
38:51I hear tell that since they've gone out of business.
38:56All right, you seen the cars?
38:57All right, good, good.
38:59All right, let's get the money now.
39:01Oh, well, here comes the money.
39:02Here comes the money.
39:04And Roscoe, you'll be alert in case there's any trouble.
39:07You already have trouble, fat man.
39:09Let me have that.
39:10All right, you, drop your weapons.
39:12Drop them.
39:13Now you're here.
39:14Have you lost your mind?
39:15Of course, it's some kind of joke, huh?
39:18Does that sound like a joke?
39:19Get up.
39:20Get up.
39:22Get up.
39:23Get in there.
39:24Get in there.
39:25Shut up.
39:26Roscoe, shut up.
39:29Get up.
39:31Help.
39:32Help.
39:33Marvelous.
39:33Marvelous.
39:35I just told you.
39:37Well, it is a pretty slick plan, ain't it?
39:44Help.
39:51Help.
39:52Help.
39:53Help.
39:54Help.
39:54Stop them.
39:54Stop them.
39:55They stole the million dollars.
39:57You caught one of them crooks.
39:59Roscoe P. Coltrane.
40:00Listen, you stole my money, you double-crosser.
40:03You're nothing but a vinegar.
40:05Listen here.
40:05Don't call me that.
40:06I didn't steal anything.
40:07No.
40:07Believe me, we both saw you with our own eyes.
40:09It was you.
40:10No, you didn't see me.
40:11What you saw...
40:12He was me, and I was him.
40:14But I mean, I wasn't...
40:15Boss, look.
40:16The Roscoe that stole the money ain't the real Roscoe.
40:18Let's go.
40:19We haven't got time to explain it right now.
40:21Which way are they headed?
40:21Oh, you're all crazy.
40:23Luke, I overheard them saying they were headed for the state line.
40:26Let's go.
40:26Come on, come on, arrest them.
40:28They're getting away.
40:29Oh, no, we're getting away.
40:30They're getting away.
40:30We're getting away.
40:32Come on.
40:34We're getting away after them.
40:35Where's it going?
40:36Dad, let's run it.
40:37Come on.
40:37Come on.
40:38Let's go.
40:38Let's get out of here.
40:40Yeah, you get ready.
40:41All right.
40:42All right.
40:42Wait, wait, wait.
40:44Yeah.
40:46All right.
40:47You left.
40:58Listen, fellas, they're so far ahead of us, I don't think we can even catch them with
41:02the General Lee.
41:03No, wait a minute.
41:03I got an idea.
41:04We take Miller Road to the crossroads, maybe we can cut them off before they get to the
41:07state line, huh?
41:08That's if they take the crossroads.
41:09Yeah.
41:10They will with a little friendly persuasion.
41:13Lost sheep to Shepard.
41:14Lost sheep to Shepard.
41:15You got your ears on.
41:15Come back.
41:16This is Shepard.
41:17Come back.
41:18So Bo put in a call to Jesse and Daisy and told them what happened.
41:21Bo asked Jesse and Daisy to set up roadblocks that would force the bandits toward the crossroads.
41:26We'll take care of that.
41:28That's Big Ted Ford.
41:29I'll take the Bruce Lane, Uncle Jesse.
41:31All right.
41:31I got Miller Road.
41:48Shoot.
41:48I forgot about this gully.
41:49Hang on, you.
42:03You know, either of them jumps are getting longer, or I'm getting older.
42:11Look out!
42:20Yeah, that's a big 10-4, Bo Peet.
42:22Thanks a lot.
42:30This is Shepard to Lost Sheep.
42:32Shepard to Lost Sheep.
42:34A car you wanted just went up Old Mill Road.
42:36You shouldn't have any trouble at all.
42:39There they are, right there.
42:40Woo!
42:59Hang on.
43:24All right, Roscoe, be careful, man.
43:27All right, Roscoe, be careful, man.
43:28You know, them fish in Hazard Lake is all...
43:30...got battle fatigue.
43:32All right, hold it right there.
43:33What?
43:34Sheriff, Roscoe, be careful, train.
43:36We'll take care of this.
43:37I don't need any help.
43:38All right.
43:38Gary!
43:42Give me that.
43:43All right.
43:44Get up there.
43:45Get up there.
43:45All right, now, come on over here.
43:47Now, get like you of us.
43:47Don't touch me.
43:48Just get on over here on the car.
43:50Take that.
43:50All right.
43:51You get...
43:52Give me that.
43:53You imposter.
43:54Let me have it.
43:55Let me have it.
43:56You shouldn't have said that.
44:02All right, here they are.
44:04Arrest them, eat us.
44:05Take these guys.
44:06Arrest everybody.
44:08And arrest him.
44:09Him, him.
44:10Roscoe, the renegade.
44:11Only don't hurt him.
44:12I don't know, because he's already been hit on the head.
44:14But I think...
44:15That's more of a gunbush, Mr. Hunk.
44:17Which Roscoe you don't mean to arrest?
44:18There's two of them.
44:20Holy Hannah, there are two of them.
44:21Wait a minute.
44:22Wait a minute.
44:23Two Roscoes.
44:24I don't believe it.
44:26But...
44:27Which one is the real Roscoe?
44:28Are you kidding?
44:30I'm the real Roscoe.
44:32You?
44:32Yeah, that's the imposter right there.
44:34Yeah, well, but he looks like you.
44:36He's dressed like you.
44:37And he's even got that knucklehead look on his face like you.
44:40Well, never mind that.
44:42I'll prove it to you.
44:43Yeah?
44:44Yeah.
44:44Would he give you the money?
44:45Oh, my money!
44:46My money!
44:47And would he call you little fat buddy and go...
44:50Don't do that!
44:51No, he wouldn't do that.
44:52No, nobody would do that but you.
44:54That's me.
44:55Therefore, you're the real Roscoe.
44:56Oh, shit!
44:57Oh, now I know.
44:58And that's what little Duke meant when he said,
45:01The Roscoe who stole the money ain't the real Roscoe.
45:04Oh, he's the real Roscoe.
45:05Oh, he's the real Roscoe.
45:05Now what?
45:06All right.
45:06Listen.
45:07Duke, thank you very much.
45:09You're welcome.
45:09Don't arrest them.
45:10Arrest these folks.
45:11You think you look like me?
45:14Nobody's drunk and you think you look like me.
45:16Okay.
45:16Okay.
45:18Okay.
45:19Okay.
45:19Okay.
45:19Okay.
45:19Okay.
45:19Okay.
45:20Okay.
45:21Well, then we got into this whole thing.
45:22Uh, the handsome girls.
45:26All right.
45:26Listen, we got...
45:27You all know how to get home?
45:28We'll see you later.
45:29Get there.
45:31Law enforcement is my life.
45:32I do.
45:33I love it.
45:34All right.
45:34She's eating them doggie things.
45:35I think so.
45:36There's a parking ticket.
45:37Well, Roscoe got his identity back.
45:40Boss got his sheriff back.
45:41The Duke boys got two traffic tickets and missed the girls at the picnic.
45:46Glass got his appetite back.
45:47And there's still about three hours left before dinner.
45:50Just enough time for something else to go wrong.
46:31And there's still about three hours left before dinner.
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