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Watch The Office Season 8 Episode 13 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025).
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01:05Sex also works
01:30Hey, Jim's back from jury duty
01:32Hey, Tuna!
01:34He's back!
01:36Hey
01:36Oh, look at this
01:38Tuna wrap
01:39Okay
01:41Hand roll
01:42Yeah
01:43How was jury duty?
01:45Pretty uneventful, actually
01:46Can't believe the less
01:47Someone like you serve on a jury
01:48Makes me question the whole judicial system
01:50What was the case?
01:52Uh, hit and run
01:53Ooh, the case of the hit and run
01:55That's exciting
01:55Did you send him to the slammer?
01:57Nope
01:57Not guilty
01:58Of course you found him not guilty
02:00Oh, he apologized
02:02And I just really want him to like me
02:04Hmm
02:04We're best friends, actually
02:06We're going to wine tasting next weekend
02:07If you want to come
02:08Not coming
02:09Have plans
02:10Okay
02:11I did get called into jury duty
02:13And they released me around noon
02:15So didn't think it was worth it
02:17To come back to work for a half day
02:19And then the next morning
02:20Pam was a little overwhelmed with the kids
02:22So I took an extra day to help out
02:26And then three other days happened
02:30Ah!
02:31Angela had the baby!
02:32Is it black?
02:34Because that would be hilarious
02:36Why?
02:38You know
02:39Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby?
02:42A little bit, yeah
02:44Right, guys?
02:45Back me up
02:46A little bit
02:47Oh, did I win the pool?
02:49Uh, no
02:51Right month, wrong year
02:52Well, no one won the pool
02:53Angela wasn't due for another month
02:55We should all go to the hospital
02:56Visit her
02:57Oh, I'd love to, but, um
03:00Oh, man
03:00I would, but I can't miss any more work
03:02Well, Kevin and I have to go
03:03Because, uh, accounting is its own little family
03:05Yeah
03:06Oscar's the dad
03:07I'm Oscar's dad
03:09And Angela's my mom
03:11Everyone?
03:12Our very own Angela?
03:13We all got the email
03:14Some of us are gonna go visit
03:15Oh, I am so in
03:17I love maternity wards
03:20It's the perfect blend of love and horror
03:22Things can go so wrong or so right
03:27Come on, Judge Judy, tell us your case
03:29What were the deets?
03:30Mine was actually a pretty boring case
03:32That could be boring
03:33You were there for five days
03:34Titillate us
03:35Yeah, you owe us
03:36I had to stay until six twice to cover for you
03:38My wife got to the TV first
03:40Had to sit through damn Rizzoli and damn Isles
03:43Yeah, my car got smashed visiting one of your clients
03:45And I had to have it detailed
03:47And they took my meter change
03:49Wow, I'm really sorry
03:50Yeah
03:51I never considered that my week off
03:53Would make everyone else's job harder
03:57Least I could do is give him a good story
04:00So, Phyllis, he was here and then the car came and did things like that
04:04Yeah, so it had to be a double backflip, actually
04:06You know, when I was on J Duty's strangler case
04:10We used to recreate the various stranglings with empanadas from Ed Ernesto's
04:15Oh, man, Ernesto's
04:17That was our favorite restaurant, too
04:18Even the food truck
04:20Ernesto's was the food truck
04:21Toby, shut your hole about the empanadas
04:22Nobody cares about the empanadas
04:24I was in Los Angeles last year
04:26Jim tricked me into thinking I'd want a walk-on part on NCIS
04:29But that's not important
04:31While I was being kicked off the lot
04:32I saw food trucks everywhere
04:34Everyone in Los Angeles eats from them
04:36And nobody calls them restaurants
04:47Guys, I don't know how many of you have seen
04:49Okay, bring it in
04:51I don't know how many of you have seen a premature baby before
04:54It's going to be really tiny
04:55So please don't say anything offensive
04:57Got that, bimbo?
04:59Got it, bimbo
05:01Yes
05:04Hi
05:06Hi
05:07Hi
05:07I don't
05:10I don't want
05:11What are you guys doing here?
05:12You want me to say hi to the newest little dunderbuff the night?
05:15Well, meet our not-so-little bundle of joy, Philip Halstead-Lipton
05:20Philip is so fat
05:22Kevin
05:22You warned me not to say anything if it was tiny, Oscar
05:25But you didn't prepare me for a big, giant, fat baby
05:29Yes, he's substantial
05:30He's more than substantial
05:32He's a monster
05:36So this whole hit-and-run thing
05:38There's just one part I can't figure out
05:40You said it was at a four-way stop
05:41Mm-hmm
05:42And the victim rode his bicycle into the left-hand turn lane
05:46But the perp was already in the left-hand turn lane?
05:49Mm-hmm
05:51See, that's what I'm having trouble with
05:53Because the fact is
05:56You never said he was on a bicycle
06:03Busted, Halpert
06:04Yes!
06:05No
06:05Andy, get out here
06:06I never said he was on a bicycle
06:07I just said I wasn't listening to you
06:09I am making a citizen's arrest
06:10You have the right to remain silent
06:12You have the right to beg for mercy
06:13You have the right to request judgment by combat
06:15Dwight's rights
06:16What's up, gangsters?
06:17Jim was lying about jury duty
06:20He was lying the whole time
06:21So he could go do yoga
06:23Or go canoeing
06:24I don't know what this pervert likes
06:25Fire him
06:26Dwight, not everything is a conspiracy theory
06:29I have Jim on the record
06:32Saying that the vic-
06:33Dwight, I have me on the record
06:35Saying to you
06:36Take a chill pill
06:38I don't need to take a chill pill
06:40Right there
06:45Found the hatch
06:46I really don't want to take the chill pill
06:50Attaboy
06:50Good
06:51Now
06:52Jim
06:53Okay
06:53Okay
06:57But let's just say
06:58That Jim was lying about jury duty
07:00You would have to fire him, right?
07:03Yeah, sure
07:04Of course
07:05And fire him to Timbuktu
07:06Good enough for me
07:12Ah
07:16And Pam was just going crazy
07:18Trying to take care of Phillip
07:19Because Cece has been out of control recently
07:21And
07:22Look, Andy, it doesn't matter
07:24The truth is
07:25I just feel terrible lying to you
07:26I feel terrible getting lied to
07:29No one's ever lied to me before
07:33Okay
07:34I think the best thing to do right now
07:36Is just come clean
07:37And tell everybody
07:38No
07:38Not after what I told Dwight about firing you
07:41No
07:41Here's what we're going to do
07:42We're going to have ourselves
07:43A good old-fashioned cover-up
07:45Have you ever heard of a
07:46Connecticut cover-up?
07:48No
07:48You know why you never heard of it?
07:50Covered it up
07:52Are you sure you can keep this under wraps?
07:54They used to call me King Tut
07:56Because I'm so good at keeping things under wraps
07:59My nickname was actually King Butt
08:01Because I had a king-sized butt
08:12Where do you want to park?
08:15Okay, everybody
08:16Gather round
08:18Got a real special surprise for you
08:20Ernesto
08:21Hola, Toby
08:23How are you?
08:27I remember very well to Toby
08:29He was a very good client
08:30I'm going to say I when I'm talking for Ernesto
08:34So instead of he says blah, blah, blah
08:36I'm going to say I say blah, blah, blah
08:38But that's for him
08:39Anyway, it was something like
08:41He remembers Toby
08:44I remember Toby
08:45Oh, Jim
08:47Hey
08:48This guy look familiar?
08:50The empanada guy
08:51The empanada guy
08:52Holy damn it, Toby
08:54No, I wasn't asking you
08:57Ask him if he remembers Jim
09:04He says no
09:06He says no
09:06Boom
09:07Yeah, but who remembers all their customers?
09:09I mean, I can name like three of our clients
09:11He remembers Toby
09:12The most forgettable man in the known world
09:18He doesn't want any trouble
09:20He sees lots of people
09:22They come from all around to eat his delicious meat pockets
09:25Uh, you guys are going to love these
09:27So, empanadas on me
09:29You guys got to try them
09:30Usually I'm a burrito guy
09:32But you won't tell
09:33I won't
09:34Wink, wink
09:34Great
09:35And while we're enjoying these delicious empanadas
09:37Jim
09:38Why don't you tell us your story again?
09:40Why?
09:40Everybody's heard it
09:41Walk us through it
09:42What time would you get there every morning?
09:45A murder she wrote
09:46How about we drop the whole murder she wrote thing?
09:49Okay?
09:50Jim was at the courthouse for jury duty every morning
09:53How do I know?
09:54Because I drove him there
09:56Why?
09:57Why?
09:59Why?
10:02Because my car broke down
10:04His car broke down
10:05So he called me because I live near the courthouse
10:07Wait, wait
10:07You live by the courthouse
10:10You drove from near the courthouse
10:12Out to Jim's house
10:13And then back to the courthouse
10:1530 minutes out
10:1530 minutes back
10:16Easy hour
10:17And I would watch that cute little tushy
10:19Scurry up those courthouse stairs every morning
10:21And that was that
10:24I'm sorry
10:24Do you have any American Mexican food?
10:28We're getting married out there
10:29What was that stuff about the car breaking now?
10:32Well, I think you handled it pretty well
10:33I'm not Rumpelstiltskin Jim
10:35I can't keep spinning gold out of your s**t
10:37Okay, listen
10:38All right?
10:39Dwight's on to us
10:40He's gonna figure it out really soon
10:41So let's just get ahead of it
10:42Let's tell the truth
10:44I don't even know what the truth is anymore
10:47Wow, it's so
10:49Healthy
10:50I'm gonna call him
10:52Little Kevin
10:53No, you will not
10:54Is he really five pounds?
10:56Because I squat with five pounds
10:58This
11:00Yeah, this feels like more than that
11:02No, no, he's nine pounds
11:04Seven ounces
11:06Nine pounds?
11:07Really?
11:08I thought you said five
11:09You know what?
11:10I was under so many drugs
11:12I felt like I was at a James Taylor concert
11:14Or something
11:16So, what did you bring?
11:18Oh, yeah
11:18I don't know if it's right
11:20But
11:21Well, if it's anything like that gorgeous wrapping paper
11:24You hit it out of the park
11:27Oh
11:28Preemie pajamas
11:29Again, it may not be the right size
11:31I can
11:31No, I think he came early
11:33Just so he could wear these
11:34Thank you
11:35I got little Kevin
11:37Call of Duty
11:38This baby
11:39Is clearly not premature
11:40They're lying about the date
11:42It was conceived
11:43It's very interesting
11:45And
11:52Uh, excuse me
11:53Can I have everyone's attention for a second?
11:55First off, I just want to say that I'm really sorry
11:57I didn't know that my absence last week would have been a burden on any of you
12:01Because, though I did have jury duty last week
12:05They did dismiss me early on Monday
12:09And I think you're going to find this pretty hilarious
12:11I kind of, uh, well, maybe took the week off
12:17What?
12:18Funny?
12:18No, nobody left
12:21You're screwed
12:24Oh, it's happening
12:26It's really happening
12:27What the hell, Jim?
12:28I cover for your bony butt
12:30Pam really needed some help with the kids
12:31So
12:32I promise my intentions were good
12:34Your clients
12:34They're all mine
12:36Jim
12:36I got my ass chewed out
12:38Because one of your orders got messed up
12:40And Andy, you said you drove him to the courthouse
12:42Uh, I did
12:45Every morning
12:46And if I didn't
12:47Then I hope I die
12:48All right, well
12:50Let's get this show on the road
12:52Shall we?
12:53I'm going to give you a hand
12:54Here we are
12:56So long
12:57Clump mate
12:58I'm going to miss you
12:59Truth be told
13:00I never thought that this is how it was going to end
13:03I always thought I was going to defeat you somehow
13:05But you've defeated yourself
13:07Why cut it out?
13:08I'm not firing Jim
13:10No, no, no, no
13:10You said
13:11I know what I said
13:13Jim
13:14You're in deep doo-doo
13:15Do you understand?
13:17And I have one thing to say to you
13:19And I'm going to say it in front of this whole office
13:21Look me in the eye
13:26That's it?
13:28This is crap
13:32You've reached Gabe Lewis
13:33I'm currently indisposed
13:35Leave me a message
13:36Ciao
13:37Gabe, it's Dwight again
13:38Highest priority
13:39Triple urgent
13:40Call me
13:41Immediately
13:41That means ASAP
13:43I'm going to find Gabe
13:44Tell him what Jim did
13:45And let the little stickler do what he does best
13:48Stickle
13:49Honestly, I can return this for a larger size
13:52It's fine
13:53Pajamas aren't supposed to be baggy, right?
13:55It's not the barrio
13:57The only premature baby in this room
13:59The only premature baby in this room is the baby
14:00Really?
14:02Angela
14:02Fine, God
14:04Philip was conceived nine months ago
14:08Senator and I wanted to wait
14:11But we had just seen Thor
14:13And there was way too much wine in my chicken piccata
14:15Chicken marsala
14:16Right
14:17And point is
14:19Philip was conceived out of wedlock
14:22And now you all know
14:23But you can never tell
14:26I'm serious
14:29Dwight
14:30Hey
14:31Oh, hey, have you seen Gabe?
14:33He went to the car or something
14:34But he'll be back
14:35Okay
14:39Don't you want to see the baby?
14:41Why?
14:42I know what Angela and the senator look like
14:44I can mash that up in my head right now
14:49I promised I wouldn't tell
14:51So don't
14:53Angela got pregnant before the wedding
14:58What?
14:59She got pregnant before the wedding
15:01How long before?
15:01A month
15:08You didn't hear it from me
15:10Yes, I did
15:16Dwight?
15:17Dwight
15:18I want to see the baby
15:19Oh, Angela will make you cut your fingernails
15:21It's not worth it
15:24Yes
15:26Oh
15:27What a beautiful child
15:28Prominent forehead
15:29Short arms
15:31Tiny nose
15:33You will lead millions
15:36Willingly
15:37Or as slaves
15:38That baby is a shrewd
15:40And unless somebody taught Mo's sex
15:43That baby is mine
15:46He's hungry
15:47Oh, that's my cue to leave
15:50No, you don't have to
15:51I'm going to wear this cover
15:52Still
15:54Still
15:54You won't see
15:58You want to wear this mask?
16:00Yes
16:00I am bringing my kids in to help me get out of this hole
16:02And you all remember my beautiful wife, Pam
16:04Hi
16:06Well, I really thought I'd be more excited to be here
16:09Oh, game face, baby
16:10Game face
16:10Oh, right, okay
16:11Hey, Stanley
16:12It's great to see you
16:13That's overdoing it, I think
16:14Oh, hi, Stanley
16:15Split the difference?
16:17Jim
16:17Okay
16:17Let's go
16:19Hi
16:21Hi, everybody
16:22What?
16:23Oh, hi
16:24How about a little visit?
16:26Wow
16:26What a surprise
16:27That's crazy
16:28You guys get to meet the little heck raisers
16:30Hey, Angela's back with our baby
16:32Yes, well, you guys all know Cece
16:34But we wanted to introduce you to baby Phillip
16:39You guys
16:42He's looking on my finger just like my cat does
16:45Let me have a turn
16:46No, it's the pacifier's turn
16:47All right
16:48Did you say something about this one bringing in something for these people?
16:53Yes
16:54Cece wanted to thank everybody for letting her daddy stay home with her all last week and play
16:59So she brought you a little treat
17:01Cookies?
17:03No, but that would have been a really good idea
17:05That would have been really good
17:05No, she brought you drawings
17:08Oh my goodness, let's take a look at these
17:10They're usually amazing, so let's see
17:13Yep, they are
17:15Uncle Andy
17:17Oh
17:17Oh, Aunt Phyllis
17:19Wow, these are incredible
17:21Cece, did you do these?
17:23No
17:24She says no to everything
17:25You know, she thinks my name is no
17:28Cece, do you want some broccoli?
17:30Yeah
17:30No
17:32It's crazy
17:33Why am I shorter than the table?
17:35That I'm standing next to
17:37There's cross-hashing in some of these
17:39That's kind of advanced for a two-year-old
17:41Cece, this is your big sister, Kelly
17:44Did you color this pretty picture?
17:47No
17:47So then this means nothing to you
17:51Hey, Cece, why don't you draw another picture for us exactly like this one?
17:57Or at least in the exact same style?
18:00You know what?
18:01You know what?
18:01I don't think you need to do things on command
18:03That's very weird
18:04Just take that
18:05Thank you
18:06I think we should just wrap up the show, kiddos
18:08Right?
18:10I don't know what else we can do here
18:13Okay, alright
18:14It's okay, sweetie
18:15It's okay
18:18It's okay
18:19It's okay
18:19It's okay
18:20It's okay
18:21It's okay
18:22It's okay
18:22It's okay
18:23I know, I know
18:27Angela, this child is definitely mine
18:29And he looks just like me
18:31Every baby looks just like you
18:32Your face kind of looks like a baby
18:34Need I remind you that we were together a month before the wedding?
18:39That is completely untrue
18:41Completely true
18:42No
18:42Remember?
18:43You said that Robert was not fulfilling you
18:45And I said I bet I could fulfill you
18:46And you said I'd like to see you try
18:48And then I kissed you with the force of a thousand waterfalls
18:50That didn't happen
18:51And then I inserted my penis into your vagina
18:55And even if it did, it's just a coincidence
18:57Admit that there is a chance
18:58Admit it
18:59I will not
19:00Admit it
19:00It's not
19:02All done?
19:03Yes
19:03Yes
19:04He's sleeping
19:05Before I go, may I?
19:07Sure
19:09Watch the head, watch the head
19:21Nurse, you know that baby in there, baby Phillip?
19:23Cancel the circumcision
19:25Who are you?
19:29I just might be his father
19:31I don't know what that means
19:34We're gonna circumcise him
19:36I know
19:38Susie
19:39Why come?
19:39No
19:40I know
19:42Getting past the fire
19:43Hang out
19:43I'm looking for the pesky
19:46Susie
19:46Ok
19:47We're going
19:47Ok, we gotta go
19:48We're going home
19:49Where are we going home?
19:51I know
19:52I know
19:53I know
19:53I know
19:55Is that ok?
19:56I'm gonna grab her
19:57Ok
19:57Ok
19:58There we go
19:59Oh, here we go.
20:00All right, I'm just going to go down to the car
20:01and I'm going to put her in her seat
20:04and I'll be right back up.
20:05Well, we'll see you tomorrow.
20:07No, no, it's okay, I'll be right back.
20:09No, just go home.
20:10It's all good. We got this.
20:12I have a kid.
20:14Last week, Jim at home,
20:17that was no vacation.
20:19Jim, just go.
20:20Hey, we'll be just fine.
20:24Thanks, guys.
20:26All right, here we go. Let's go.
20:42Dwight, what the hell?
20:45You can't smoke in here.
20:47Oh, right.
20:50The office looks different now.
20:53Smaller.
20:54Maybe I just feel bigger.
20:56No, I did, but now it seems
20:58infinitely insignificant.
21:00Jim?
21:00Oh, right.
21:02Nah, forget it.
21:04He was doing it for his kids.
21:05I get it.
21:06Kids drive us dads crazy.
21:09Sometimes I feel like they're raising us.
21:11Am I right?
21:14I feel like they're raising us.
21:32I feel like they're raising us.
21:32I feel like they're raising us.
21:32I feel like they're raising us.
21:32I feel like they're raising us.
21:32I feel like they're raising us.
21:32I feel like they're raising us.
21:33I feel like they're raising us.
21:37I feel like they're raising us.
21:44Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
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