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Watch The Office Season 9 Episode 3 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025).
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00:05Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30Why don't you tell me about that sale that you made yesterday?
00:33Uh, Wellington Systems sold them 10 cases of 24-pound letter stock.
00:38Or were you talking about Krieger Murphy?
00:40Because I didn't close that one yet.
00:41But I'm hoping I've got a voicemail from Paul Krieger waiting for me.
00:46Please enter your password.
00:53You have one new message.
00:55How did you know? No, no, no, no.
00:57That is sensitive information only for employees, not outsiders.
01:01Dwight, cut it out. I'm trying to work.
01:03You don't work here. You're not Jim.
01:05Jim, I got us that dinner reservation. Greek goes 7.30.
01:08Oh, great. Can't wait.
01:13Jim's at the dentist this morning, and Steve is an actor friend of ours.
01:16I don't know who you are, but you are not Jim.
01:20This is Jim.
01:26Oh.
01:28Oh, do...
01:29Oh, how did...
01:31Oh!
01:54Hey, study buddies.
01:57Oh, okay.
01:58Oh, getting things done. Awesome.
02:01It's all about finding ways to make yourself more efficient.
02:04Life hacking, baby.
02:05This morning, I brushed my teeth in the shower, saved myself 90 seconds,
02:08which I just used to explain this to you.
02:11Damn it!
02:12Since Andy promoted me to assistant regional manager,
02:15I've been trying to step my game up, you know, be more productive.
02:18In fact, you know what?
02:19Let's knock out a few more of these sound bites while we're here.
02:23Whoa.
02:23Oh, that person has really gotten him or herself into quite a predicament.
02:29S'il vous plaît, dites-moi...
02:38Ah, French.
02:40It's a great language.
02:42If you're a chain-smoking acrobat.
02:45I'm just trying to fit in better with Andy's family.
02:48They all speak more than one language.
02:50Usually when I'm there.
02:51You want to learn a really impressive second language?
02:53Try Dothraki.
02:54Win over any man in my guild.
02:56Dothraki is the native tongue of the nomadic, warmongering horse lords of Essos,
03:00as featured in the superb home box office series Game of Thrones.
03:04It has a lot of nudity,
03:06which I fast-forward through to get to the chopped-off heads.
03:09I could teach you if you want.
03:11It's a lot easier than French.
03:12Yeah, let's do it.
03:13Aftabraza!
03:14Oh!
03:14It means excellent.
03:16And we have begun.
03:20Is everything OK?
03:22Hmm?
03:23Oh.
03:24Oh, yeah.
03:24Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:25Fine.
03:26Fine, fine, fine.
03:27Fine.
03:28I mean, I just don't want to burden you with my massive stress freak-outs.
03:32Great.
03:33It's just that I am taking my driver's license test in two days,
03:37and I need to practice with an experienced driver in the car.
03:40But I've had no time to do that, thanks to demanding.
03:45I just want to hit the open road and drive, man.
03:50But in whose car?
03:52Nellie!
03:54Get your wrinkly old balls in here.
04:02Nellie, I could practice with you in my car at lunchtime.
04:05Oh, Pam, thank you.
04:06You are my savior.
04:09Oh, my God!
04:14I'm sorry, I'm leaving you alone for lunch.
04:16Don't worry about it.
04:17I have a thing.
04:20A thing of soup, which I've been wanting to try.
04:27This is my research into how we might produce childproof paper
04:31that doesn't give you paper cuts.
04:33We can't.
04:34And here is a printout of your genealogy from thisisyourfamilytree.com.
04:40In America, this is a big day for both of us.
04:45My fellow Americans, I have a feeling my approval rating is about to go through the roof.
04:50Turns out I am related to Michelle Obama.
04:56I was intimidated by Andy's family before, and now I have to see the First Lady at holidays.
05:01She's going to be like, what's your stance on politics?
05:04Or, what is the best war to do?
05:06And I will just be like, duh.
05:10All right, we gotta get rid of all this junk food.
05:14Get fit, America.
05:15Not sure if the buzz has reached the annex yet, but I'm related to Michelle Obama.
05:25Yeah, we noticed early on Andy really appreciates enthusiasm.
05:29So we decided the best way to get ahead here is to be his cheerleaders.
05:32Oh!
05:41Starting to have this reverse effect, though, where I really do think the stuff he does is awesome.
05:46Yeah, me too.
05:47It's weird.
05:47Hard to remember what's real at this point.
05:49All right, just clap through it, man.
05:52You log in sales at ten different times.
05:55If you log them all at once, you save a lot of time.
05:57It's called batching.
05:59This is really good, Daryl.
06:00Life hacking, man.
06:01There he is!
06:02Andy, you gotta check this out.
06:04He just showed me what.
06:05Right now, I need canned tuna, okay?
06:08Daryl, guess which talented individual, who also has a killer singing voice, is related to the First Lady?
06:15Tracy Ellis Ross, daughter of the First Lady of Motown, Diana Ross.
06:21It's me.
06:22I'm related to Michelle Obama.
06:24What?
06:24Really?
06:25I mean, it's distant, but...
06:28That's cool, man.
06:30Right?
06:31Daryl said cool, man.
06:33He called me a cool man.
06:39You know, I really do think it would be worth it to pull over and just take ten minutes to
06:43eat.
06:44The thing is, Mom, I'm gonna be eating while I'm driving, so I might as well get good at it.
06:49Brake lights.
06:49Brake lights.
06:50Brake lights!
06:51Brake lights!
06:52Woo!
06:53I'm just saying, what does it imply in this country when a white person shares an ancestor with a black
06:57person?
06:58You think that Andy's family owns slaves?
07:00Well, somebody owns somebody, and I don't think anybody would buy an Andy.
07:07I throat rip.
07:08Forth agendak.
07:09You throat rip.
07:10Forth agendi.
07:12He, she, it throat rips.
07:13Forth agendak.
07:14More of a barbaric growl.
07:16Forth agendak.
07:17Louder, you're shouting it from the back of a horse.
07:19Forth agendak!
07:20Pretty crazy about Andy and Michelle Obama, huh?
07:24Yeah.
07:26It's almost unbelievable.
07:29What?
07:29Well, you know how Andy has been really salting my onions lately?
07:34Sure.
07:35Well, when he asked me to look up his ancestry online, I remember that news story about Michelle Obama having
07:40white relatives,
07:41and I just knew he would eat that up.
07:44So he's not related to Michelle Obama?
07:47Pam, I barely know how to turn on my computer.
07:54Nellie's pretty fearless.
07:55And I think she might be maybe even almost sort of fun.
08:00Pam.
08:04I don't know if there's a...
08:05What's going on here?
08:07I'm related to the First Lady, okay?
08:09Get over it.
08:10I still need weekly status reports for most of you, so can we get back to work, please?
08:16Get back to work.
08:17Whoosh!
08:18Whoosh!
08:19Whoosh!
08:20Andy!
08:21Whoosh!
08:21Andy!
08:22No!
08:22I would be very polite today.
08:25Why?
08:25Is it Employees Day or something?
08:26I cannot keep track of these B.S. holidays.
08:29Your connection to Michelle Obama has certain negative connotations.
08:33Most likely, your family were slave owners.
08:38Does anyone else think it's possible that I come from slave owners?
08:46Whoa.
08:48That person has really gotten him or herself into quite a predicament.
08:53Hey, Mom, it's Andy.
08:54Give me a call when you get a chance.
08:55Got a quick question for you.
08:57No big deal.
08:57Just about America's national shame.
08:59Thanks.
08:59Bye.
09:02Where were we?
09:03Yes.
09:04Okay.
09:04Your productivity thing.
09:07Yes, yes, yes.
09:08Great.
09:09Ooh, spreadsheets.
09:10Yum, yum.
09:11I included some time-saving ideas.
09:14Look, I'm not going to lie to you.
09:14I'm a teensy bit distracted right now.
09:17Look, Andy, even if your ancestors did on slaves, it wouldn't be your fault.
09:22This is only weird if you make it weird.
09:25Right on, brother.
09:27Word.
09:28Mm.
09:29Ador.
09:30Tabas.
09:33Kazim.
09:34Tabas.
09:35Does anyone here have fermented mare's milk?
09:42Hey, Aaron.
09:44Atatoma.
09:45Chumaka Atten.
09:46Oh, okay.
09:47Sorry.
09:50Oh, still, it must be great to have something else going on outside of work.
09:53Yeah.
09:54Turn signal.
09:55It's exciting to be painting again.
09:56Those are the wipers.
09:57So, it's just...
09:59There you go.
10:00Yeah.
10:02Yeah, things get so busy with the kids' red light that it's nice to have that creative outlet.
10:06Red light.
10:06Red light.
10:07Red.
10:07Red.
10:08Red.
10:10That is brilliant, Pam.
10:13I'd love to see some of your work.
10:14Well, since we're stopped at a light, here is the mural I did for Angela's baby.
10:23That is amazing, Pam.
10:25Oh, I love the lion in the tuxedo.
10:28Angela insisted that all the animals be fully clothed.
10:33Hey, has anyone turned in their status reports up here?
10:38Voss.
10:40So, no.
10:42Do you think maybe you could remind people I'm trying to downplay the whole bossy-boss thing today?
10:47Because of your slaves.
10:48Not my slaves, my ancestors.
10:51Maybe, probably not.
10:53Well, if it makes you feel any better, the Dothraki ord for slave master,
10:59Atzafrak, is a term of respect.
11:02I'm learning how to speak Dothraki.
11:04Color you impressed?
11:05That you're learning a made-up language from HBO's Game of Thrones?
11:10I have a lot going on today.
11:13But this was a great nerd-out.
11:17Dwight, you didn't tell me you were teaching me a fake language.
11:20People laughed at Klingon at first, and now you can major in it.
11:27Hi, guys.
11:28Hey, boss.
11:29I am so thirsty.
11:31Can I have a scoop of water?
11:33Yeah.
11:33You don't have to ask me.
11:38Ha-ha.
11:39Okay.
11:39Great.
11:40Very funny.
11:40I get it.
11:41Just because my ancestors happened to be...
11:51Very funny, Kevin.
11:52Changed my ringtone.
11:53Very funny.
11:54I liked the original song on my ringtone,
11:57which, you may remember,
11:59was Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes by Paul Simon,
12:01featuring
12:03Ladysmith
12:04African-American
12:05Mombazo.
12:09Good.
12:10Very good.
12:13Oh, no!
12:15Here, it's a text from Andy.
12:18New special proj.
12:19Need fam tree for a buddy.
12:21Really dig up dirt ASAP.
12:23And then in parentheses, he wrote out as soon as possible.
12:27Hmm.
12:28God.
12:29Looks like it's pretend-y time again.
12:32Right back
12:33looking for dirt.
12:35Oh, can I help?
12:37We could say someone is related to, um,
12:40Tonya Harding.
12:42Pam, I'm related to Tonya Harding.
12:45Oh, gee, I'm...
12:46No, I'm just practicing my lying.
12:49I love it.
12:50Brilliant.
12:52What should we say about Jim?
12:53Um, oh, I'll say he's related to Richard Nixon.
12:57It's an inside joke.
12:58He looks really Nixon-y when he wakes up.
13:00My ex behaved like Nixon.
13:02All of the lying,
13:03none of the sexual charisma.
13:07I just made a joke then.
13:09I'm sorry.
13:10It's just, um,
13:11I actually do have this weird feeling
13:13that there's something Jim isn't telling me.
13:15Oh, no.
13:16Oh, an affair.
13:18It is always an affair.
13:20Jim?
13:21No.
13:22How can you be sure?
13:24Because he just loves me too much.
13:28You're a cocky little thing, aren't you, Pam?
13:31I've done a little genealogy research of my own.
13:35Turns out I'm not the only one with a few skeletons
13:37in the old family closet.
13:40For example,
13:42Phyllis's great-great-grandmother
13:44was responsible for spreading cholera
13:46to the United States.
13:47Ew.
13:48Kevin is related to both John Wayne Gacy
13:51and John Wayne Bobbitt.
13:53And John Wayne?
13:55No.
13:56Not that I see here.
13:57Wayne Johnson?
13:58The Rock?
14:00You mean Dwayne?
14:01And no.
14:03What about Jim Halpert?
14:04Uh-oh.
14:05Turns out, distant relative
14:06of the reviled Richard Nixon.
14:09Pam always says I look like Nixon.
14:11That's crazy, right?
14:12I mean, there's nothing there.
14:16True.
14:20Oh, no.
14:23Dwight's grandfather was a member of the Bund,
14:26which is not technically the same thing
14:28as the Nazi party.
14:30So.
14:32I was going to say it was a tax-evator.
14:34Oh.
14:36I was joking about that whole Bund thing.
14:38Oh, the look on your faces.
14:43And Meredith is a blood relative of Lizzie Borden.
14:46Cool.
14:48Stop it.
14:48Stop it.
14:49You're frightening me.
14:49Andy,
14:50could you call this meeting
14:51just to talk junk about our families?
14:53Yeah, that,
14:54you're being really mean.
14:55No, I'm proving a point, okay?
14:58We all have ancestors
14:59who may have done horrible things.
15:01The difference is, Andy,
15:02that you're the only one here
15:04still benefiting
15:04from the terrible things
15:06your ancestors did.
15:07Might have done,
15:08and how do you figure?
15:10Your family's rich.
15:11I have to believe
15:12that a big part of the Bernard fortune
15:14was earned on the backs of slaves.
15:16You know, there's nothing wrong
15:17with being successful in America, Oscar.
15:18I'm not going to apologize
15:20for my family's wealth.
15:21That wealth
15:22could one day benefit society
15:24if capital gains are ever taxed
15:26at the same rate as earned income.
15:28Okay.
15:30Kevin did that.
15:31I do not wish I was in Dixie.
15:33Hey, Mom.
15:34How are you?
15:35Did any Bernards
15:37ever own a plantation in the South?
15:41She said no.
15:42Take that.
15:43Follow-up question.
15:44Did any Bernards ever make money
15:46in an unsavory way?
15:53I just asked you,
15:54why didn't you just say that?
15:56Okay, stop.
15:57Stop.
15:58Stop talking.
15:59Stop talking.
15:59That's...
16:00No.
16:00I don't want to know that.
16:02Okay.
16:03You're interrupting a meeting.
16:04I have to go.
16:04Love you.
16:05Bye.
16:07Well, turns out
16:08the Bernards of yore
16:09did not own slaves.
16:11Really?
16:12We merely transported them,
16:13which at worst
16:15makes us amoral middlemen.
16:24Yo, D-Dog.
16:25I need your help.
16:26I'm trying to think of things
16:27I can say that make it sound
16:27like I had a more difficult childhood
16:29than I actually had.
16:30You're gonna po-mouth.
16:30Exactly.
16:31Help me po-mouth, Daryl.
16:33Actually, Andy,
16:34you promised me five minutes
16:35to talk about productivity suggestions.
16:37What if I said that my dad beat me
16:38and I just left out
16:40the croquet of it all?
16:42Or I could just go all the way
16:44and say I grew up in an apartment.
16:45Or is that too crazy?
16:47That could work.
16:49You know, Daryl,
16:50this is textbook assistant
16:51regional manager stuff here,
16:53and I feel like I'm doing
16:54all the heavy lifting.
16:55I'm coming up with
16:56all the ideas here.
16:58Going forward.
17:00Okay.
17:08Good.
17:10Good, and...
17:18You doing all right, man?
17:20I'm done.
17:22I gotta get out of here.
17:24Yeah.
17:25Not the easiest day
17:26to be assistant regional manager.
17:28It's not just today.
17:30It's every day.
17:31Seemed like the better title I have,
17:33the stupider my job gets.
17:35Oh, come on.
17:36It can always get better, right?
17:38Hmm.
17:39Yeah, right.
17:41No, I'm serious.
17:42There's always something better.
17:45Like what?
17:47Like, hypothetically,
17:49if I said that there was another job
17:52that you and I could both have.
17:55What kind of job?
17:57Something cool,
17:57like sports marketing, or...
18:02Does that sound like something
18:03you'd be into?
18:03Hell yeah.
18:04Right?
18:05That sounds awesome.
18:06Okay, but wait.
18:06What if I told you that it was in Philly?
18:08So you'd have to...
18:09I love Philly.
18:10Right?
18:11It's not even a thought.
18:12Not even a thought.
18:13It's not even that far away.
18:14I could still commute.
18:15Exactly.
18:17Exactly.
18:18All right.
18:20What?
18:21Wait, wait, wait.
18:21So what?
18:22Is this happening?
18:23Oh, it's happening.
18:25Let's just keep it between you and me
18:26for right now.
18:27Okay.
18:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:27All right?
18:27Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:28For sure, for sure, for sure.
18:29Man, and Pam's into it.
18:31We got to have a talk about it,
18:33but I think that she's...
18:34I think she understands
18:36what this is.
18:36Oh, come on, man.
18:37I thought you had something real.
18:38What?
18:38No, no, no.
18:39Come on.
18:40This is real.
18:40It's not real
18:43until your wife is on board.
18:48So what did you want to show me?
18:50That is quite, isn't it?
18:52I'm thinking a mural.
18:56You mean me?
18:57Yes, you.
18:58You are so talented.
19:01It's going to be my next special project,
19:03hiring Scranton's most dangerous
19:04young muralist to paint the warehouse wall.
19:07Oh, my God.
19:08I love it.
19:10Nellie, this is brilliant.
19:12Hey.
19:13Hey, can I talk to you for a second?
19:16Anything you have to say to her,
19:18you can say to me.
19:19She never loved you.
19:20What?
19:21No, I got this.
19:23Okay.
19:23This is his fault.
19:25It is not your fault.
19:26I am going to find you someone better
19:28and rich.
19:30And Filipino.
19:31But we'll break that to her later.
19:35You know what this is all about.
19:38Yeah.
19:39You too, huh?
19:40Yeah.
19:43Go on.
19:45Spill it.
19:47Tell her all the gory details,
19:49you snake.
19:51Hey.
19:52He deserves this.
19:53Annie said I could get in on it, too.
19:57Yeah.
20:00Oh, Pam, no.
20:03Oh, I can't back to watch this.
20:05I don't know what I was so worried about.
20:07I have the best wife in the world.
20:11I still can't believe he didn't tell me.
20:22I was helping Nellie drive.
20:24Do not care.
20:31For us, check.
20:33For us, check.
20:38I like that guy.
20:41We should hook him up with Meredith.
20:43Hmm.
20:43Oh, I know.
20:48I don't know.
20:49Oh, yeah.
21:19...
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