- 1 day ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01Tonight, the Duke Strike It Rich drinks her on me, and Boss gets Gold Fever.
00:07Gold!
00:08Gold!
00:10Real gold, honey.
00:11Ah, wait!
00:13Don't get so close!
00:15No!
00:16Come on, after him!
00:19Nordy Nordy.
00:20Right there, huh?
00:21Finders Keepers!
00:24What?
00:25How do we do that?
00:27Yeah!
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you've never saw
00:43Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:49Straightening the curves
00:52Flattening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:09That's just a little bit more than the law will allow
01:13Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fighting the system like a two modern day Robin Hood
01:26Yee-haw!
01:32Every day is hunting season in Hazard County between the fox and the hound
01:37That means if you're a Duke, well, you're a fox
01:40With Boss Hogs Devies playing the hounds
01:43Keep on it, cuz
01:44Well, it's better than some city jobs, I know
01:54Coy, Vance, y'all call right now
01:57Cousin Boss wants you arrested for that unpaid traffic ticket
02:01South gate of the farm's just ahead
02:03If we make it, we're off the hook
02:05Cletus, that ticket's a phony and you and Enos know it
02:08But no matter, cuz by the time you hear the end of what I'm saying
02:11We're gonna be on Duke land
02:13You can't come after us there without a warrant
02:15No warrant?
02:16He's right!
02:19Y'all notice how Enos' driving has got better since he got back from the city?
02:24No!
02:29Well, it's somewhat better
02:34We're sorry boys
02:35Well, you oughta be
02:36That's gonna cost some money to fix
02:37How much you reckon?
02:40Oh, uh, well, Cletus
02:41How much's that ticket?
02:45Twenty-five dollars
02:46Funny ain't it, Vance?
02:47Just what it'll cost to fix that penis
02:49Amazing!
02:50Look, I got it, Cletus
02:52Could you loan me twenty-four dollars till tonight?
02:54I got it one
02:56I'm sorry, Vance
02:57Slippery out there
02:59It's twenty-five
03:02Twenty-five, right, Cletus?
03:03So the deputies gave the boys twenty-five dollars to pay for the fence
03:07And Vance gave it back to pay for the ticket
03:10You know, the government oughta do a study on hazard economics
03:21Well, we're out here, let's get some timbers and mend that fence
03:23Yeah, we don't get over here much
03:34Sure looks like one unhappy lady over there on the next property
03:37Yeah
03:38Excuse me, we don't mean to be butting in, but, uh, is there anything we can do?
03:42You can hang a man named Hogg, that's what you can do
03:45Come on, cuz, we're gonna hear us a familiar old story
03:48Yep
03:53My name's Vance
03:54The boys brought the young couple, the Mortons, to the farm
03:58And their story was, well, uh, Boss Hogg was involved and, well, you figure it out
04:02But this place is practically a dump site
04:05And it don't look nothing like that picture, why in the world did you buy it?
04:08We bought it without seeing it
04:09This Mr. Hogg made us sound like a beautiful farm, then he sent us that brochure
04:12And then you sent him all your money
04:13All we had
04:14We even borrowed from Mama
04:16Well, do you have that contract he signed?
04:18Nah, Mr. Hogg kept it, all he sent us was a bill of sale
04:20That J.D.
04:22Hey, Uncle Jesse, where you going?
04:24I'm going in and have a heart-to-heart, talk with J.D. and get these kids their money back
04:28Uncle Jesse, let me and Coy go
04:29Why should I let you go?
04:31Uncle Jesse, you just get your insides all riled up
04:33Well, what about your insides?
04:34Cast iron, let's go, cuz
04:37Well, uh...
04:38So the boys took off to see if they could get the Mortons' money back from Boss Hogg
04:41Which is in the same category of getting blood from a turnip
04:44Or teeth from a chicken
04:45Or putting socks on a rooster
04:48Listen, we got a wonderful deal for you
04:50You can own your own farm at fantastic prices
04:53Oh, cross my heart, ma'am
04:55You don't have to drill for water on that land, no siree ball
04:58Why, it just squirts out of the ground at you
05:02And ma'am, listen
05:03Uh, that land is so rich it pays its own taxes
05:06Is it good to?
05:08Hung up on me
05:10I gotta find another one
05:11Look under peas, I love peas
05:13And tomatoes
05:15Wait a minute
05:16What the devil you boys mean by coming in here without knocking?
05:19Yeah
05:19Well, as long as you're here, what do you want?
05:22A refund, sir
05:23For the Mortons?
05:24Refund?
05:26Refund?
05:27Don't you ever use a word like that in my prisons
05:29It's blasphemy
05:30Yeah, yeah
05:31What are you trying to do?
05:32Give my little fat buddy here a vapor locker?
05:34Yeah
05:34Well, you cheated those kids
05:35Well, they sure looked old enough to know what they wanted
05:38But you told them it was good farmland
05:40So it is
05:40It's a swamp
05:41Well, then let them raise alligators
05:44Now, would you hush up?
05:46Yeah, yeah, yeah
05:46Come on now
05:47That was a flat-out crooked deal
05:49Listen, their Morton kids, as you called them
05:52Sign both a contract and a deed or legal act
05:56Oh, well, can we take a look at the contract?
05:58No, you certainly can't
05:59No
05:59On account of it's a bona fide legal document
06:02Which is going to stay locked up in my official file
06:05Right there in the palace
06:05Now listen, you two just fam moose out of here
06:07Before I have the sheriff toss you in the pokey
06:09For poking your nose in other people's spirits
06:11Well, come on
06:11Hush
06:12Now, hold on
06:13Don't go stuck on his side
06:15Right out of there
06:15Stay down
06:16Listen, didn't you like that knee slapper?
06:19Let him raise alligators
06:20Will you stop cackling and get Cletus and Enos on the CB
06:24And tell him to entail them Duke boys and report their every move?
06:26We've got to get us a look at a contract with Morton's son
06:28And see just how binding it is
06:30Well, Boss and Roscoe are practically sitting on that file cabinet
06:34Hey
06:34Yeah?
06:35Maybe Cooter will lend us a hand
06:36Okay?
06:37That's all right
06:42Hey, look at that
06:43There you go
06:45Hey, Cooter
06:46Is that fine?
06:47The old Cooter had been done in by old Boss more times than there was lies in Texas
06:52So he was more than proud to help the Dukes decoy old Boss
07:12Uh oh
07:12Looks like a couple deputies we know seem to be keeping an eye on us
07:16Well, then let's give them something to look at
07:18All right
07:25What's up?
07:32Here's one
07:32This ought to be an easy sell
07:34Listen to this name
07:36Bledsoe
07:37Hortense Bledsoe
07:38If that ain't a rich widow lady, I'll eat my hat
07:41Uh, Boss
07:42Is there anything wrong with your car?
07:44Absolutely nothing
07:45Then why is Cooter towing it away?
07:47Because
07:47What?
07:50Cooter's towing it away there
07:52My car! Cooter's towing it away!
07:55Oh!
07:57It's fantastic!
07:58It's fantastic!
07:59Oh!
08:00Hortense Bledsoe
08:01Hortense Bledsoe
08:01Come on after him!
08:06Cooter!
08:07Cooter, what do you say?
08:08I can do there!
08:11Let's go!
08:13I got teeth
08:14Go after him!
08:15Come on!
08:16Go after him!
08:16Go after him!
08:17Go after him!
08:18Get away!
08:20Now!
08:20Get this thing started
08:22Will you?
08:23Oh my God!
08:24All right!
08:24Come on!
08:26Oh!
08:28Oh!
08:29Oh!
08:30Oh!
08:31Oh!
08:33Oh!
08:37Oh!
08:38So the dust was really flyin' on them hazard roads,
08:40because we got ourself a little doubleheader goin' here.
08:47Come on, after it! Come on with you!
09:01Never dis-hop the suit, cuz. Let's cool them off.
09:03Gotcha.
09:05Oh, no, you don't, fellas.
09:06What this time? If you think you're gettin' us into that lake, you're crazy.
09:20We're gonna get wet, Peter!
09:29Peter!
09:30Well, now, look what you made me do.
09:32They're okay.
09:33Hey, let's go.
09:35My lucky hat's wet.
09:36Oh, you're lucky hat. You hit my lucky arm.
09:42You made me do this.
09:43Cut the box, gonna take it out of your side of the face.
09:46Wait a minute, Cliff!
09:47It's all you're for. What's the matter to you?
09:49Hey, son, you better let me drive. Look at there.
09:51Let's just drive.
09:54He's a cute little buddy, isn't he?
09:56You stay out of this.
09:57Well, rivet yourself.
09:59Tootah!
10:00I've never heard of such a thing!
10:01How can y'all talk to me like that and I'm trying to do you a favor?
10:04Do me a favor?
10:05Yeah.
10:06Yeah.
10:06Boss, there's a factory recall on that model.
10:09I gotta take it in.
10:10My car?
10:10What kind of recall?
10:11Uh, defective windshield wiper blade.
10:15You expect me to believe a cock and bull story like this?
10:18Yeah.
10:18Well, if you don't believe it, you just see if it'll keep the rain off your windshield.
10:21Well, how can I?
10:23It ain't mean it.
10:24Huh.
10:26Hey, wait a minute.
10:27Well, Sheriff Roscoe.
10:29Unit 2 to Sheriff Roscoe.
10:31Come in, Sheriff.
10:32Uh, Sheriff Roscoe.
10:34Oh, Pete Coltrane here.
10:36Sheriff, we got some bad news for you.
10:37You lost the Duke boys.
10:39How'd you know, Sheriff?
10:40Um, um, Jim.
10:41Where did you get this?
10:42This is J.D. Hall.
10:44Listen.
10:44Where did you lose them Dukes?
10:46Well, we lost them.
10:47They had them back to the house.
10:48Wait.
10:49Yep.
10:50I knew it.
10:51I knew it.
10:51I knew it.
10:51I can smell a pool can already somewhere.
10:54And I mean, that smell is overpowering.
10:57Oh, yeah.
10:57Cooter, you and them Dukes wanted us out of town, didn't you?
11:00Oh, yeah.
11:00That's why you towed away my car.
11:02Yeah.
11:02What kind of fool do you think I am?
11:04Yeah, he's a fool.
11:05No.
11:07Now, the boys wasn't exactly breaking and entering.
11:10They was trying to keep the Mortons from being swindled out of their money.
11:13They couldn't exactly go to the authorities, you know, since they was the one doing the swindling.
11:20Faster.
11:21Come on.
11:22Come on.
11:22Come on.
11:22Come on.
11:22Can't you go any faster than this?
11:24Well, I didn't know you weren't such a hurry.
11:25Well, I am because them Dukes is up to something.
11:28Like I see it, I can smell it.
11:37Oh.
11:37We washed your own a ton of stuff.
11:40Jesus.
11:42That's right.
11:42Come on, now.
11:43I want this car.
11:44I want this car.
11:45I want this car.
11:46I want this car.
11:47I want this car.
11:49Come on.
11:50You almost hit that truck.
11:51Well, you wanted me to hurry.
11:52Come on.
11:52Come on.
11:53Let's get out of here.
11:54Take some rules.
11:56Something's going on here, I tell you.
11:58I mean, that smell is getting worse.
11:59Come on.
12:04I got it.
12:06I got it.
12:07Party, the first part.
12:09Jeb and Carrie Morton agrees to...
12:11That's it.
12:11That's it.
12:11Come on.
12:11Let's go.
12:12All right.
12:13Freeze.
12:14Freeze.
12:15I got you.
12:17Anybody know a slick, cheap lawyer?
12:24The only place you're going is to jail.
12:26Yeah.
12:27And now you just hand over that paper.
12:28Yeah.
12:29A peaceful life.
12:30Yeah.
12:30Just fetch it on over here.
12:31Come on.
12:32Come on.
12:33Give me.
12:33Give me.
12:34Give it to us.
12:36All right.
12:38Stop her.
12:39I'll shoot.
12:44Freeze.
12:58Freeze.
12:59Freeze.
13:00Here they go.
13:03Come on, come on, come on.
13:04Come on, come on.
13:05Get the room.
13:13Go lay.
13:15I'll get to the fly.
13:16Come on, I'll get your foot.
13:18I'll get your foot.
13:19Come on,æ²».
13:24Ah, that's the wind!
13:25No, wait a minute!
13:48Oh, rascal!
13:49I'm gonna get them Duke boys up at my last lemonade!
13:52Give me my hand! Let's go!
13:54I wondered what happened to you!
13:56I heard you stop yelling!
13:59The buyer agrees he is purchasing the land sight unseen
14:02and can make no claim that would void the sale.
14:07Looks like them poor kids are stuck.
14:09Well, let's get back to the farm and see if Uncle Jesse's got any ideas.
14:29I heard you!
14:31I heard you!
14:33I heard you!
14:34I heard you!
14:34I heard you!
14:35I heard you!
14:36I heard you!
14:37I heard you!
14:37Uh-oh!
14:37Looks like old Roscoe dug himself out!
14:40Hang on, cunt!
14:47While old boss and Roscoe was chasing the Dukes,
14:50Enos and Cletus, after they got out of the pond,
14:53was heading right forward,
14:55simultaneously, together.
14:57All at once!
14:58Bless you!
14:59Oh!
15:00You scared me!
15:07Whoa! Looks like Cletus and Enos are out of the pond!
15:10Not a swore I just said that!
15:12Cletus! Enos!
15:13Blob through!
15:14Yes sir, Mr. Hunt!
15:24Now, don't that look like a turnip between two pieces of live bread?
15:28Yeah!
15:29Well, I wanna thank you, boss,
15:31for bringing me back this here contract in one piece.
15:35Now, just make yourselves nice and comfy in there,
15:38because you're gonna be here a long, long time.
15:42Boss, you ain't getting away with this.
15:44All right, J.D., what kind of trumped up charges
15:46you got against these boys this time?
15:48Well, ain't nothing trumped up, Jesse.
15:49Breaking and entering is serious.
15:51Yeah.
15:52Not to mention dumping sand on a county vehicle
15:54and the occupants thereof.
15:56So, listen, I'm setting bail on them boys so high,
15:58they'll be here till the cows come home.
16:01And the goats, too.
16:02Well, what is it?
16:04How much is the bail? We'll pay it.
16:05Uncle Jesse, no!
16:07Yeah, Uncle Jesse, you go on home.
16:09Oh, well, I guess you boys know what's best for you.
16:12Uncle Jesse, we can't leave them here.
16:13Easy, they're gonna take their medicine.
16:16Now, J.D., I want to talk to you a little bit
16:19about those two young'uns that you finagled on that land out there.
16:23Well, I haven't got time for that, Jesse.
16:25I ain't got no time for your preaching.
16:26J.D., you've done some bad things in your life,
16:29but I stooped as one thing.
16:30That feel good.
16:31Roscoe, y'all got bugs in here.
16:33Oh, there's fleas in here, Roscoe.
16:35Ain't no bugs in my shell.
16:36Yes, there is.
16:37What?
16:38Well, now listen, I know Flash has a few fleas,
16:41and she's got a little problem.
16:43Just a little bit of maine.
16:43Oh, is that flea powder?
16:44Yeah, that's flea powder.
16:45Can I have some?
16:46Quick, I'm going out of my mind.
16:47No, this is for Flash.
16:48I don't know.
16:49Oh, it's so bad, I'll take anything.
16:51Well, I don't think this is proper human conception.
16:53Please, please.
16:53Well, all right.
16:55I'll just put some in your hand right like that there,
16:57and put that right in there,
16:58and I'll spread that around.
17:00No, I don't think that.
17:00I smell good.
17:03Good.
17:04Good.
17:09Good.
17:09Good.
17:10Good.
17:12Good.
17:12Good.
17:12Good.
17:14Good.
17:14Good.
17:15Good.
17:17Good.
17:24Good.Ø
17:25pah its- The
17:29boys call Jesse and Daisy to
17:31tell them about their escape. And
17:32to meet them at the old steel site in
17:34Choctaw Heart. Looks
17:37like we've hit ourselves a blank wall. Mm
17:39-hmm. Boss
17:39won't give the money back and,
17:41and, uh, according to
17:42that paper you signed. Near as
17:44I can figure, there ain't
17:45no way you're gonna get it back. Well, maybe
17:48Jem and Carrie could sell the
17:49land to somebody else Uncle Jesse. Now talk some
17:51sense Daisy.
17:52There ain't two other...
17:53Go ahead and say it, Coy.
17:55There ain't two other suckers like us around.
17:57Wait a minute.
17:58Well, maybe there are.
18:00Well, how about, say, uh, Boss and Roscoe?
18:04Why would Boss want to buy back that old swamp site, huh?
18:07Well, you never can tell.
18:09Sometimes con men are the easiest people to con.
18:12And this idea I got starting just might have Boss begging to get that land back.
18:17What are you thinking about?
18:19Well, I ain't got it all fleshed out yet, Uncle Jesse.
18:21But I'll tell you what I need.
18:23You remember that gold inlay of yours that fell out a couple of years ago?
18:26Yeah, but I ain't got any idea.
18:27It's in the top shelf in the kitchen in the sugar bowl.
18:29And them old gold cufflinks you never wear?
18:31Bottom drawer in your nightstand.
18:32It is?
18:33Mm-hmm.
18:34And, Coy, we still got them gold medals we went up those state archery meets?
18:37Yeah, but you mind telling us what's going on that head of yours?
18:39I will, I will.
18:41But first, I want Daisy and Uncle Jesse to get all that stuff and meet us over at Cooters.
18:44Now, come on, let's get going.
18:45All right.
18:57You can usually count on Boss's dream to outweigh his common sense.
19:01Whether he'll swallow this one, I just don't know.
19:04Is that about what you had in mind there, Vance?
19:07It sure is.
19:09What do you know?
19:09A real gold nugget?
19:11Genuine.
19:12What are you going to do with it?
19:14Well, we're going to take a drive down to that courthouse and pay our bail.
19:22A.D., we may not agree with the charges, but this here will cover the boys' bail, whatever it is.
19:30What?
19:32What in town, nation, do you call this thing?
19:34It's called plain gold.
19:36Legal tender anywhere in this old world.
19:39Well, you don't expect me to be stupid enough to believe that this thing is really gold, do you?
19:43Well, if you don't believe it, you can have it assayed.
19:46And that wipes the slate clean.
19:48Oh, now, wait just a dang minute.
19:49J.D., you know that there's enough gold there to cover the boys' bail and then some.
19:54Yeah, there's nothing but a yellow stone.
19:56That there is gold.
19:58Gold.
19:59You got my word on that, and my word is as good as gold.
20:02Good as gold.
20:02Come on, boys.
20:04We got no more business here.
20:08If that ain't enough, Boss, we'll bring you some more.
20:11Woo-hoo-wee.
20:12It looks like gold, don't it, Cousin Boss?
20:14Yeah, and you look like you got brains.
20:16Only you ain't.
20:17Where in the world will the Dukes ever get their hands on any gold?
20:22I know.
20:23Roscoe, you go fetch old men rube on them.
20:26The county is there.
20:27He'll get us to the bottom of this.
20:29All right, I'm going.
20:53Now, ain't them pretty fingers.
20:58All right, all right, all right, Mr. Ruebottom.
21:01You're supposed to be the county of Sayer, so say something.
21:04Well, it's gold, all right, Mr. Hogg.
21:06It is gold.
21:08Yeah.
21:09Pretty high quality, too.
21:10It is.
21:11Must be worth about $700.
21:15$700.
21:16$700.
21:16Oh, $700.
21:18The whole bridge only cost four.
21:20Gold must have gone up.
21:22Well, whatever scheme old Vance has to calm the con, men, it sure looks like he's off to
21:27a right good start.
21:28That's right.
21:29And, Roscoe, I want you and these deputies of yours to get in your cars and start tailing
21:33them Dukes.
21:33Right.
21:33And if you can find out where they swiped this here gold, why, we can put them away
21:38for the rest of their natural lives.
21:40Mr. Hogg, sir, now, I don't think Uncle Jesse would steal nothing.
21:43But, Enos, it don't matter what you think.
21:45It's what I think that counts.
21:47Now, move.
21:47Here, Jets.
21:48I'm going.
21:49Well, now we got Enos on our side.
21:52You know, Ball sure took a nibble out of our bag.
21:54Yeah.
21:56Now, the next order of business is getting Roscoe and company off our tail.
22:00While you boys are doing that, I'm going to help Daisy and Cooter.
22:03Good idea, Uncle Jesse.
22:04Come on, let's go, cuz.
22:05You got it.
22:17Hi.
22:17Hey, Pete.
22:18Oh, oh.
22:19There are the two boys there.
22:21Now, pretend like you're not watching.
22:22I'm not watching.
22:23You're watching.
22:24Oh, good.
22:24Will you come on and get a follow-up?
22:28Hey.
22:30Beat us.
22:34No.
22:36No.
22:37No.
22:40No.
22:43No.
22:45.
22:46No.
22:51No.
23:03Let's sink that hook a little deeper, guys.
23:06Little Bo Peep, this is Law Sheep.
23:07You read me?
23:09Loud and clear, boys.
23:10What's up?
23:10Did you find any more lumps of that shiny stuff yet?
23:13Lots of it.
23:14Wait till you see.
23:16We will.
23:16We will.
23:17Guess as soon as we shake, you know who and his claws off our tail.
23:20Don't get you.
23:21What are you talking about?
23:22Oh, who do they think they're a kid with that code?
23:27I'm probably just like that.
23:49Follow me, Edith.
23:50I know what I'm doing.
23:52Get out of here.
24:06All righty, just pour it on.
24:08We've got a big battle.
24:10Looks like the fox has circled the hells.
24:12Oh, no, no.
24:22No fox ever had moves like the General Lee.
24:38You're driving too close and you're done rampant.
24:41You're just a bad vehicle.
24:43I can't stand and covered it.
24:45They're okay.
24:46Let's get back to Cooters.
24:48Now that we get our fish hooked, let's play him a little.
24:52Now, the boys are headed back to Cooter's for the second part of old Vance's plan.
24:56Well, ain't this a busy little beehive?
24:59Well, Cooter, I see that undertaking cousin of yours came through.
25:02Yeah, old Tyrone was having a slow week.
25:04Don't have no funerals until next Tuesday.
25:06He said business was kind of dead.
25:08How about you, Miss Daisy? How'd you do?
25:10Oh, I made out great.
25:11The Tri-County Little Theater Group let me raid their costume department,
25:14and, well, look at this, honey.
25:17I'm looking.
25:18You're going to have to sew that up a little bit.
25:21A pile of fake gold nuggets, some fancy clothes, a funeral limousine.
25:26I'll be John Brown if I can figure out how them things fit together.
25:30This is looking great.
25:32Oh, oh, here it is. Here it is.
25:34Now, old boss always eats like a hog when he's frustrated.
25:37And right now, he's scarfing swill like a whole herd of swine.
25:41So the only thing that'll make me feel better
25:43is finding out where them dukes swiped that gold.
25:46And since you can't keep a tail on them,
25:48I suggest that we check out every jewelry store and dentist in this county
25:51to find out if any of them are missing any gold.
25:53Now, that is a very good idea.
25:55We just got to find out where them dukes swiped.
25:57Yeah.
25:57Well, you're going to gain 50 pounds, Mr. Hawk.
25:59Yeah, he's right about that.
26:00I'd better help you.
26:04In Hazard County, a limo means that you're either rich or you're dead.
26:09Ain't nobody dead in that car.
26:26You didn't see what I just saw.
26:28Well, of course I didn't see what you just saw.
26:31You lug nut.
26:32What was it?
26:33Well, no.
26:36Thank you, bird.
26:42If you need me, I'll be at the bar.
26:45There you go, son.
26:47Put your money away, son.
26:48Drinks are on me.
26:50Champagne for everybody.
26:53Imported, naturally.
26:55Roscoe.
26:56Roscoe.
26:57Don't tell me this is a dream.
26:59Boss, I don't think so.
27:00You don't have your PJs on
27:02and your beady, fat little eyes are open.
27:09Be right with you, Jay.
27:10I need to call my broker.
27:12Call his broker?
27:19Wouldn't that make you want to stay on the farm
27:21and run off to the city?
27:23Hi, Dad.
27:24Hello.
27:27Daisy, is that you or a movie star?
27:30Well, honey, it's just little old
27:33rich, terribly rich me.
27:38I thought you was going to sew that up.
27:41I did a little.
27:44Well, I think this ought to cover it, John.
27:47What's this?
27:48It's gold.
27:49Real gold, honey.
27:51Mmm.
27:51Mmm.
27:52Purity gold,
27:53but it's too much for this bar tab.
27:54Here.
27:55Oh.
27:56Take it out of that.
27:58Mmm.
27:58Mmm.
28:00Jesse, Duke.
28:01I don't know where you and your nephews
28:03are getting all this gold,
28:05but when I do find out,
28:06I'm going to put you all behind bars.
28:08When you find out, J.D.,
28:10you do that.
28:10I will.
28:11So help me.
28:13Let's go, cuz.
28:17Cooter, my good man,
28:18could we see you out at the limousine?
28:20Yeah, I think one of your ashtrays is dirty.
28:24Woo!
28:28Okay, Cooter,
28:29now you know what you have to do.
28:30Do I know what I have to do?
28:31Yeah, I know what I have to do.
28:33I drive out to that creek
28:34that runs through y'all's place
28:35in the Morton's property,
28:37and I assault that creek
28:39with these little old gold nuggets we made.
28:40We'll give you enough time
28:41before the word slips out to boss.
28:43Okay, better get moving,
28:44and thanks again for your help, good buddy.
28:46Don't worry about any old time, y'all.
28:48You know, Cooter,
28:50don't forget to clean out the ashtrays.
28:53Yes, sir!
29:06Yes, sir!
29:15Well, now,
29:16even though we'll arrive till next week,
29:18I'd like to make a toast to our new yacht.
29:21Oh, yeah!
29:22I'll drink to that
29:23to the golden lady.
29:25Uh, listen, boss,
29:26don't you worry about that yacht.
29:28It's probably a little teeny-bitty thing anyway.
29:31Mm-hmm.
29:33Mm-hmm.
29:34Let's do it.
29:52I figured old Vance's plan
29:53was going to might too smooth.
29:56Coyduke, look at your shoes.
29:58They're full of mud.
29:59Well, so what?
30:00So what?
30:01That ain't fitting.
30:02Back at the boar's nest, meanwhile,
30:04them ritzy dukes
30:05we're setting the hook
30:06and old boss even deeper.
30:07Okay, okay, I'll clean them.
30:09But if y'all think
30:09I can stay clean
30:10working that creek bed,
30:11you're crazy.
30:12Well, you ain't supposed
30:12to worry your good clothes
30:14in the creek bed.
30:15It's true, though.
30:16Gold is found in the creek bed.
30:17Yeah, that's what you want.
30:18You know something?
30:19I just remembered.
30:19There's a creek
30:20running through the Duke property
30:22right on down
30:23to the Morton place.
30:23Yeah, there is one.
30:24But there couldn't be
30:25no gold in there.
30:26No, I don't do it.
30:28On the other hand,
30:30maybe we ought to
30:31just get over there
30:32and give it a check out.
30:33Take a peek at the creek.
30:34Make sure there ain't
30:35no gold there.
30:36Yeah.
30:37Come on.
30:39Let's go.
30:47He took the bank.
30:49Probably for me.
30:50My tax man.
30:53Hello?
30:54Vance.
30:55Hey, it's Cooter.
30:56Look, we got troubles.
30:59Limo's busted down.
31:00I ain't got my tools
31:00and I ain't planted
31:02them nuggets
31:02in that creek yet.
31:03Oh, no.
31:04And boss just left.
31:05Where are you?
31:06Twin Forks.
31:07Well, stay there.
31:07We'll come by.
31:08We got big trouble.
31:10What's the matter?
31:10Didn't boss fall for it?
31:11Yeah, he just left.
31:12Cooter's limo broke down.
31:13Oh, no.
31:14He never salted the creek
31:15and if we don't get out
31:16there for him, boss,
31:16we're going to blow everything.
31:17Come on, get out.
31:21Uh-oh.
31:41While boss and Roscoe
31:42headed for the creek
31:43to look for gold,
31:44the boys were just
31:45picking it up
31:46from Cooter.
31:46Cooter?
31:47Keep your foot on it,
31:48cuz we ain't got time
31:49to stop it.
31:50All right, all right!
31:56Oh, that's not grand!
31:58Look out, Joe!
32:01You know,
32:02just when you think
32:02you got things
32:03under control
32:04and hazard,
32:04you run into
32:05a natural hazard hazard.
32:29What's the matter
32:29with this here car, huh?
32:31Can't it go any faster?
32:32Well, it's doing
32:33the best it can
32:34after all that sand
32:35dumped on the front end
32:36of it,
32:36probably give it
32:37a vapor lock.
32:56Well, you did it.
32:57What'd you expect
32:58from an old test driver?
32:59They can't be too far
32:59behind.
33:00Come on, let's go.
33:08Come on, Coy.
33:09Let's consult some gold
33:10over in the Morton's
33:11property.
33:27There, there.
33:28There, there.
33:29Just like I remember.
33:30Now, there.
33:31Oh, wait a minute.
33:35There, see?
33:36I don't see nothing.
33:37Well, oh, oh, oh, boy.
33:39What?
33:40Look, look, look there.
33:41You see something?
33:41Something shiny.
33:42Where?
33:43Right away.
33:43Right there!
33:44Oh!
33:45Oh!
33:46Roscoe, look what
33:47you're saying to me!
33:47Sorry about you.
33:48Roscoe, you know
33:49what I ought to do.
33:50What?
33:50I ought to take me
33:51a big handful of mud.
33:52No, no, no, don't do that.
33:53Don't do that.
33:53No, this is my good uniform.
33:55Wait a minute.
33:56What?
33:56What's this?
33:57What is it?
33:58Don't tell me.
33:58I won't tell you.
33:59Wait a minute.
34:00Look at that!
34:01What is that?
34:02Gold!
34:02Gold!
34:03I found gold!
34:04I found gold!
34:05Look at here!
34:06I found gold!
34:07There's another one!
34:08Oh!
34:09Oh!
34:09Oh, goody-goody gumdrops!
34:10Oh, look, here's another one!
34:11Oh, and another one!
34:12Oh, and another one!
34:13I'm rich!
34:13Oh, we're rich!
34:14There it is!
34:15I'm richer than I was!
34:17Wrong, wrong, wrong.
34:18What?
34:18What?
34:19You're not rich.
34:20The Duke boys are rich.
34:22This is their land, remember?
34:23So what?
34:23Finders, keepers.
34:24Oh, no!
34:25Hey!
34:25Come on!
34:25I love them!
34:26I love them!
34:26I love them!
34:26There's another one!
34:28There's another one!
34:29Lookie there!
34:30There's more of them!
34:32Oh, boy, you know, listen.
34:33There's gold over here on the Morton's land, too.
34:36You mean there's gold over there on the Morton's place, too?
34:38I'll tell you something.
34:39Boy, you really goofed when you sold them this land.
34:42No, I didn't.
34:43Yes, you did.
34:44No, I didn't.
34:45Yes, you did.
34:45No, I didn't.
34:46Oh, yes, you did.
34:47Listen, let me ask you something.
34:49You remember when those Duke boys, they tried to swipe that contract?
34:52Yeah, I do.
34:53Well, I definitely heard you with both ears say that that contract was legal and binding.
34:58Yeah, but the Duke boys kept saying it was illegal.
35:00That's right.
35:01Well, you know something?
35:02What?
35:02Them Duke boys was dead right.
35:03That contract is illegal.
35:08Come on.
35:08Get me out of here and back to town and right to my bank.
35:11Right.
35:11I got to take out some money and give it back to the Morton's.
35:14What?
35:14I'm going to un-sell that land.
35:18Get back in the car.
35:19I'm not too short.
35:21We ain't got enough time.
35:22Here.
35:22I want you to go just as fast as you can.
35:24Well.
35:25Oh, come on.
35:26All right, I got mine.
35:27Here, look.
35:28That's real gold.
35:29I know it.
35:30I'll hold my own another.
35:30Real gold.
35:32I've had so much fun since shore leave in Shanghai.
35:37Scam's working like a charm.
35:39All right.
35:39Now, come on, cuz we got to get going.
35:40We got a little more conning to do.
35:42All right.
35:42Come on now.
35:44Come on, come on, come on.
35:44That's about the way she's going to go.
35:46Oh, no.
35:47You ain't stopping here, are you?
35:49All right.
35:52I got these minors in my boots, and now I've got sand in my carburetor.
35:56Who the heck with what's in your carburetor and what's in your boots?
36:00In us.
36:00Clean us.
36:01Yes, sir.
36:02Get the carcasses in my car and get to the bank.
36:05I'll meet you there as soon as I change into some clean negotiating clothes, and stay as
36:10they see a ghost.
36:11Oh, shoot.
36:12You don't kill me.
36:15You're just...
36:15This is my turn to drive.
36:17You always think it's your turn.
36:18It's not your turn.
36:18You lost the gin rummy game.
36:20I don't play cards.
36:21I know.
36:21That's how come I'm driving.
36:23All right.
36:23There you are.
36:24All right.
36:24The Duke Farming step on it.
36:25You're right.
36:26No, no, no, wait for me.
36:28You didn't say you wanted to go.
36:30No, no.
36:31I'm supposed to go, too.
36:32All right.
36:33You don't care.
36:34All right.
36:34You don't care.
36:36Good grief.
36:38That is sand all in my carburetor.
36:41It's just...
36:42What a mess.
36:44It's just...
36:45I'll borrow some of Cooter's tools.
36:47I don't think he'll mind.
36:49Good.
36:50Mm.
36:52Gold.
36:54Boy, that's what I call rich
36:56when you leave those little rascals
36:58just laying around.
36:59Oh, good.
37:01Oh, it's another one.
37:03Oh, oh.
37:04And there's some silver.
37:05It's...
37:07Silver.
37:09That ain't silver.
37:10That's lead.
37:15Oh, spray paint.
37:17Now, even Roscoe had enough smarts
37:19to tell gold from lead.
37:20Now, plot's starting to sicken, ain't it?
37:23Sneaky Dukes.
37:24They made fake gold.
37:26They're scamming the boss.
37:28Hmm.
37:28What a time for my vehicle
37:30to be indisposed.
37:32I'll borrow old Cleetis' car.
37:34Hey, you dipshit!
37:35I'll use your car!
37:38The Dukes is getting ready
37:39for the grand finale.
37:43It's beautiful!
37:45It's beautiful.
37:46Yeah, I can't.
37:50Oh, big.
37:55Now, boss, this is here for us,
37:57Gold Peet Coltrane.
37:58Now, have you got your plump little ears on?
37:59Come on.
38:02Boss.
38:03Now, get your ears on.
38:04Hang on.
38:07Oh!
38:14All right, all right.
38:15Stop right here.
38:17Now, let me out.
38:18Yes, sir.
38:19And hold on to this.
38:21Good.
38:22Well, there's J.D.
38:23Well, hello, Jayce.
38:25This is some spread you've got here.
38:27It sure is good to be ripped.
38:29It certainly is, J.D.
38:31it certainly is. Oh, J.D., you know
38:33our new neighbors here, the Mortons.
38:35Yeah, of course I do. As a matter
38:37of fact, I was hoping to
38:39run into you two. What for?
38:41Well, I tell you, no matter what anybody
38:43says about me, the fact remains
38:45I am an honest man.
38:47Aw, come on now, boss.
38:49Well, it's true, and to prove it,
38:51I took this contract you signed
38:53for my land to one of the best lawyers
38:55in these here parts to go over
38:57with a fine-toothed coon.
38:58And he did come up with a couple
39:01of itty-bitty little technical points
39:03that makes this contract illegal.
39:05Illegal? And you're willing
39:07to admit it? Yeah, and what's more,
39:09I'm tearing the whole thing up
39:11right in front of your eyes.
39:12J.D., you sure you know what you're doing?
39:14Of course I do. And what I'm also
39:17gonna do is I'm gonna give you
39:19Mortons back every penny
39:21of your money.
39:22All you gotta do is assign this
39:25here new deed transferring title
39:27back to me. There's only one problem
39:29with that, boss.
39:30We were gonna buy the land
39:31back for ourselves.
39:32What? Yep, to build us a lake.
39:34We're sailing our new yacht.
39:36Moonlight cruises. Fun, fun, fun.
39:38Don't listen to them. Listen to me.
39:40I'll tell you what I'll do.
39:41I'll give you double what you kids
39:43paid me for that land.
39:44Cletus, give me that money.
39:45Put me here.
39:47Yeah, here.
39:48It's exactly what I brought with me.
39:50Just in case.
39:51Well, I don't know.
39:52What do you think, Uncle Jesse?
39:54Well, you kids is gonna have to do
39:56what you think best.
39:57Of course, us dukes could
39:59always find somewhere else
40:01to sail our yacht.
40:02Uncle Jesse, no.
40:03Uh-uh.
40:04Oh, yes, you could.
40:05There are hundreds of places.
40:06So what do you say?
40:07What do you say, kids?
40:11All right, Mr. Hogg.
40:12You got yourself a deal.
40:13All right.
40:14That's a smart voice.
40:16Now, here.
40:16You just sign right there
40:19on the dotted line.
40:22There you go.
40:24Signed, sealed, and delivered, huh?
40:26And here's your cash money,
40:28just like I promised.
40:29J.D., I'll tell you what.
40:31Let's let bygones be bygones
40:33and we'll have ourselves
40:34a nice julep toast.
40:36What do you say?
40:37Oh, I can't do that, neighbors.
40:38I gotta get me over to Capital City
40:40and get this new deed recorded.
40:42You want me to drive your cousin, boss?
40:43No, I don't want you to drive me, Cletus.
40:45You stay here with Enos.
40:47You stand guard over the land
40:48I just bought there.
40:49Yes, sir.
40:50Don't you let nobody
40:51trespass on it, you hear me?
40:52No, sir.
40:53In Hazard County,
40:54any land transaction
40:55ain't final until the deed's recorded.
40:57That's why a boss moves so fast.
40:59I can't believe it.
41:00We even made money
41:01and all because of you folks.
41:02We don't know how to thank you.
41:04Well, right and wrong,
41:06that stinks enough.
41:09It's worse.
41:13Hi, Sheriff.
41:14Hi.
41:15How you doing, Sheriff?
41:16Hush.
41:17All right.
41:18Where's the boss?
41:19On his way to Capital City.
41:20Why?
41:20Why?
41:21I'll tell you why.
41:22Why?
41:23You see those?
41:24Those are genuine gold lead nuggets.
41:26They're fake.
41:27Oh, Roscoe,
41:28you see, I can explain about that.
41:29Hush.
41:30I don't want you to explain about nothing.
41:32All right, Cletus.
41:33Cuff him and stuff him.
41:34Why?
41:34I gotta go get the boss
41:36and stop him.
41:36Why, Sheriff?
41:37What do you mean, why?
41:38Are you crazy?
41:39I'll tell you why.
41:40Because they've been passing
41:41fake articles.
41:42Get your hands off that.
41:43Gold nuggets.
41:44And they're impersonating rich folks.
41:46Now, do what I tell you.
41:47Get your face.
41:48Go.
41:52Boss, don't get to Capital City
41:53to record that deed.
41:54The deal ain't final.
41:56We'll blow everything.
41:57Then we better stop Roscoe
41:58from catching.
41:59Coy, Vance,
42:00where y'all going?
42:01We're just going to put
42:02the general in the barn.
42:04Barn, huh?
42:06General Lee, huh?
42:07Okay.
42:12Coy, stop!
42:14Hey, Maggie!
42:16Coy, you told me a fam!
42:20Get mine all the way!
42:23Oh, hey, we'll be right back.
42:46Yeah.
42:47Oh, yeah.
42:51Oh, yeah.
42:59Let's go down like a man possessed.
43:01Well, put it to the floor, Cub.
43:02We gotta catch him.
43:06I think we got our work cut out for us, partner.
43:11Hey, Roscoe, pull over, will you?
43:13We want to talk to you.
43:14Get back there.
43:15Get, get...
43:16Don't get so close.
43:20All right, Cucu.
43:21Get back to the farm.
43:22You're under arrest.
43:27I'm certain.
43:28Don't get it.
43:30I'm certain.
43:56The boys better not have any more spin-outs, or they'll never catch Roscoe.
44:01Capital City.
44:02I think we lost this one, Dan.
44:04No, we didn't.
44:05There's Roscoe.
44:13Get it.
44:19Hang on, Joe.
44:22Hang on, Joe.
44:30You did it.
44:33Hey, boss.
44:36Don't do anything.
44:37Stop.
44:37Now, listen.
44:38Don't record that deed.
44:39Don't record it.
44:40Well, I just did.
44:42Oh, yeah.
44:42That land is mine again.
44:44Ain't that good news?
44:45Well, that's bad news.
44:46That's terrible news.
44:47Huh?
44:47Listen.
44:47Listen.
44:48You know those dukes?
44:49They done hog-winked you.
44:50What are you talking about?
44:51Well, they salted that creek with phony gold.
44:53Phony gold?
44:54Yeah.
44:54Those dukes are as poor as church mice.
44:56So is the Mortons.
44:58All that gold was lead.
45:00Lead?
45:00Yeah.
45:00That's right, boss.
45:01All except the one Uncle Jesse gave you.
45:03Well, don't just stand there.
45:06Arrest them.
45:06Oh, all right.
45:07Arrest them for fraud.
45:08Now, wait a minute, Roscoe.
45:10You arrest us for fraud, you're gonna have to arrest boss for the same thing.
45:13Right.
45:13And you won't have a chance.
45:15You know how them judges feel about young, innocent newlyweds like the Mortons getting swindled?
45:19And there's seven of us as witnesses.
45:21Right.
45:24And I thought when Bo and Luke lived, my troubles were over.
45:28Well, it was a trade-off.
45:30Even Stephen.
45:31Boss's land scams, they'll do.
45:33The Dukes gold scams.
45:36Now, them nice young Mortons made enough money out of all this to buy a real farm on the other
45:40side of the county.
45:42The Dukes, well, they just kept on being the Dukes, whose full-time job is keeping things normal for Hazard
45:49County.
45:49All right.
45:50All right.
46:23All right.
46:30I'll see you next time.
46:32Maybe he'll see you next time.
46:33Bye.
46:33Bye.
46:33Bye.
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