- 8 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01On the do
00:03Nobody can rob my best
00:05Now wait a minute, Roscoe
00:06We can explain about that money
00:07It's freezing
00:10I got it, I got it
00:16It's enough, boys
00:17We gotta put fire up with this guy
00:19Not again
00:26Rock boys are getting away
00:28Y'all drop in, you hear?
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you've never saw
00:44Been in trouble with the law
00:45Since the day they was born
00:49Straightening the curves
00:52Flatening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them
00:58But the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:09That's just a little bit more
01:11Than the normal life
01:14Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21They're fighting the system
01:23Like a two modern-day Robin Hood
01:35It's a hot hazard day
01:38Dukes are heading for town
01:39To make a very important deadline
01:41Cousin Boss, I'm telling you
01:43There hasn't been so much as a possum
01:44Crossed here all afternoon
01:45Yeah, well, I don't believe you
01:46For one single second
01:48I mean, if you ain't seen nobody
01:49It's because you've been sleeping
01:51That's why
01:51So just wake up, you hear me?
01:53And if you don't give out any tickets
01:55How are we gonna raise any money
01:56For the J.D. Hog Relief Rehabilitation
01:59And Philanthropic Fund
02:00Whose coffers happen to be down
02:02To exactly zero
02:02But what am I gonna do?
02:04Give a ticket to a bird?
02:05I mean, there's just nobody
02:05Been around here, I'm telling you
02:07Well, hold on, wait a minute
02:08Here come the Dukes
02:09Here come the Dukes
02:12Just give them a ticket for speeding
02:14That's $50 fine
02:15Custom Boss ain't speeding
02:17They're going real slow
02:17So give them a ticket for impeding
02:19Speeding, impeding
02:20It's all the same
02:21Same fine, same $50
02:22So go get moving
02:23Okay, if you say so
02:24Bye
02:28He he he he
02:41Thanks about Cletus all round up
02:42He wants us to pull over
02:44I've been driving legal on everything
02:45Listen, if you pull over
02:46We're never gonna make it
02:47To Maribel's Cake Shop
02:48Before closing time
02:49So come on
02:50That's right, Flora, Luke
03:10Wouldn't you just love
03:11To read them job requirements
03:12For a Hazard County deputy?
03:18Now, if you're wondering
03:18What the bank's doing
03:19Open on Saturday
03:20If Boss Hogg could make a dollar
03:22He'd open on Judgment Day
03:23Even if there wasn't any time
03:25Left to spend it
03:26And this here's Clarence Stovall
03:28One of Uncle Jesse's oldest friends
03:30He's got only one more day to go
03:32Before he retires on his pension
03:33Clarence, good
03:35Yes, boss
03:35What can I do for you?
03:37Well, there's a little thing
03:38I gotta discuss with you
03:39As of today
03:40You're fired
03:41I'm fired?
03:44But that just ain't fair
03:45Well, Clarence
03:47Just because you're loyal
03:48Dependable
03:49And hard worker
03:51And it ain't missed a day
03:51On the job
03:52In your life
03:53Ain't no reason for me
03:54To keep you on
03:55When I'm cutting down
03:56But you can't fire me
03:58What about my pension?
04:00Pension?
04:01Oh, ain't you heard the news?
04:03What news?
04:03Well, we're all gonna have to help
04:05Balance the budget
04:06But I'm just doing my share
04:08So I ain't giving no more handouts
04:10To no freeloaders
04:11I ain't no freeloader
04:13Every week for 30 years
04:14You've been taking $3.98 out of my pay
04:17And that was to accrue
04:18At 4.97% interest for 30 years
04:21And at the time of my retirement
04:23I was to get the residual benefits
04:25From the principal sum of $30,000
04:28Oh, you're a wizard of numbers, ain't you?
04:30Just protecting my rights
04:32Well, you're forgetting all about them
04:34Administrative costs
04:35Carrying charges
04:36Advisory fees
04:37And not to mention inflation
04:39So all that accruing
04:41Has been eaten up
04:44Eaten up?
04:45Mm-hmm
04:46And besides
04:47You gotta put in 30 years on the job
04:50Before you're entitled to a pension
04:51Well, I'm only one day shy
04:53Or 30 years
04:54Yeah, one day and 20 minutes
04:57And my advice to you is
04:59To quit jawing here
05:00And go clean up that mystery storeroom in there
05:02Or I'm gonna have to take that 20 minutes
05:04Out of your pee
05:06I swear old boss would drown kittens
05:08To save on milk
05:14Them dukes don't know it yet
05:15But Clarice's predicament's gonna get them
05:17In more trouble than a coon trapped in a dog pound
05:20Hey, listen, let's get inside
05:21And remind Mr. Stovall the big shindig
05:23All right, Daisy
05:23You got about two minutes
05:24To get that cake
05:25From Miss Mary Bell over there
05:26For Mr. Stovall's retirement
05:27I'm done
05:27Hey, and get us some sugar cookies, will you?
05:29Okay
05:29Great
05:33Oh, boys
05:35I gotta hand it to you
05:37You really know how to handle the help
05:39Yeah, well, while you're handing out things
05:41Hand me the mustard
05:42And Rascal
05:43I just did what I had to
05:45I mean
05:46We gotta live by the rules, don't we?
05:49And the fact that
05:50This little old rule
05:51Is gonna save me
05:5230,000 simoleons
05:54And pension money
05:55That Clarence won't get
05:56Just breaks my heart
05:58Well, it sure didn't affect
06:00Your appetite any, did it?
06:03Oh!
06:04Oh!
06:04Did he come Mr. Stovall
06:05Duke boys are looking for him?
06:07Say, listen
06:09If you Duke boys come in here
06:10To argue about that ticket
06:11You got from Cletus
06:12For impeding
06:13You can just forget it
06:15Well, boss
06:16Number one
06:16We didn't get no ticket
06:17But you were supposed to get a ticket
06:18I mean
06:19And number two
06:21We didn't come here to argue
06:22We need to do some reminding
06:23Now, where's Mr. Stovall?
06:24Well, Clarence is out back somewhere
06:25Taking care of
06:26What's gotta be taken care of
06:28And he can't be disturbed
06:30But I could take a message to him
06:31If you'd like for me to
06:32Much obliged, Roscoe
06:33Just tell him that the doings
06:35At Uncle Jesse's planning for him
06:36Is gonna take place Monday
06:37His last day of work
06:39Well, you're a helpful boy scout
06:41Ain't you?
06:43Hey, hey, hey, hey
06:44We saved you from yourself
06:48Oh, boy
06:49Look who we got there
06:52Oh, boy
07:02Hi, Clarence
07:05Clarence
07:05Clarence
07:06Clarence
07:06What the heck are you doing?
07:08What did you do to my feet here?
07:09And why didn't you give them Duke boys a ticket
07:11Like you were supposed to?
07:12I'm gonna take care of that right now, cousin boss
07:14Yeah, yeah, yeah
07:15All right
07:16I just wanna talk to y'all for just a minute
07:18Well, uh
07:19Clarence, we're all talked out for today
07:21Yeah, listen
07:21You just keep in touch
07:22You know
07:23Just wait once
07:24Thanks a lot
07:25Flash it
07:33I swear, if it rained soup
07:35Cletus's bowl would be upside down
07:37No, just
07:44Cletus, Cletus
07:44What's wrong with you, huh?
07:46I mean, what good are you?
07:47I mean, you can't give out tickets
07:49You get your car all full of water there
07:50And you look like a drowned rat
07:52But it's not my fault
07:53Them Duke boys evaded me right into Pringle's pond
07:56Pringle's?
07:56All right, all right, all right
07:57Then I want them arrested
08:00For Ruston County property
08:01Ruston County property?
08:03Namely, your patrol car
08:04Yeah
08:05And the law says that there's a heavy fine plus damages
08:09There ain't no such law as that
08:10Well, there is now
08:11Well, there is now
08:12Come on, Cletus
08:13Will you
08:13Bail out your car
08:15Clean it up real good
08:16And then fill out the proper warrant
08:18And you go arrest Bo and Luke Duke
08:20You hear me?
08:20Yes, sir
08:50Oh, oh, oh, oh.
08:53how's he doing oh i think he's gonna be just fine uncle jesse well get him healed up and
08:58back out there in the woods i don't want him getting my chickens
09:04somebody coming looks like mr stovall
09:10hey hey clarence good to see you yes hey mr stovall you just in time for dinner we're having ribs
09:15i can't afford the time but thank you just the same now clarence you ain't going nowhere for
09:20monday are you everybody in hazard is going to turn out for your retirement shindig i'd be mighty
09:24obliged to you if you'd give my regrets jesse i but i'm leaving this very minute i just couldn't
09:29go off to florida without saying goodbye to my friends but mr stovall now daisy uh no buts if
09:36that's the way clarence wants it that's the way it's going to be but now listen clarence you are
09:41going to have some ribs with us and spend the night before you take such a long trip that's very
09:45kind
09:46of you jesse but oh clarence like the told daisy no buts now we'll just go in the house
09:52you go clean out i have got the time
10:02clarence uh this is your superior officer a scooby cold train listen flash and i just turned off on
10:08sawmill road what's your when they come back just past five judge that's an affirmative uh listen
10:13please we gotta be sneaky gotta be real sneaky gotta tip your toe up on them and i don't want
10:18to hear
10:18no signs you got that roger wilco where he is
10:31you mean to tell me clarence stovall that you stole this money from jd's bank just don't make
10:37sense not after all them years of honest and loyal service that's exactly the reason after all them
10:42years boss hawk snickered me out of my pension and i'd done what i had to do and went and
10:47range for
10:47your own well i walked in before the vault was closed to do my final cleaning and i walked out
10:51with the exact amount of my pension money thirty thousand dollars but you ain't told us clarence
10:56how boss hog snookered you he fired me today one day short of my 30 years said i don't qualify
11:04why that low down dirty farmant still mr stovall you can't let him being a crook make a crook out
11:11of
11:11you now you're right luke i guess i just got so mad i couldn't think straight well i guess it's
11:17too
11:17late to do anything about it now never too late clarence now we're gonna see you out of this mess
11:24cause you're a friend and once you're a friend of the dukes you're a friend for life
11:35oh no it's a sheriff that's any boat
11:40careful you're proud it's a year for every dollar
11:49all right you good boy just pull it over there listen you're under arrest you pay attention to me
11:55this is the law speaking let's go pull it over there
12:14oh look out
12:17now y'all see all that space cletus is the one person who'd have a wreck with enough room to
12:22build a barn on either side
12:40one way to stop don't rub it in
12:43oh i love this this is my life
12:47just let it sit him in this way
12:49i love it i love it all right you dukes all right well get out of that to be here
12:55roscoe what are you gonna arrest us for this time
12:58that's for me to know and you to fight
12:59oh jeez
13:00oh what's what is this i'm arresting you for a bank robbery
13:04oh now wait a minute roscoe we can explain about that money
13:06i'll tell you who you're gonna explain it to
13:08you're gonna explain this to the judge cause this is real money i mean sure roscoe you know we ain't
13:14no bank robbers
13:15great gobs of grits that's a fortune
13:20shoot josh should have seen old bull kick the football for hazard high
13:23he was 10 for 12 and no shoes
13:27if he'd use his right foot he'd have put roscoe's pistol back in the holster
13:30he's just freezing
13:34don't you threaten me
13:36this is your pointed little foot
13:38it wasn't even third long yardage you punted us right out of trouble
13:41not quite
13:43forgetting that roscoe thinks we robbed that bank now
13:45yeah
13:46well we best get over to jensen's hollow
13:48figure out a way to get out of this mess
13:50i'll drive you didn't figure it
13:58you say you're seeing them duke boys
14:00with what
14:01with my eyes
14:02no no i mean the other
14:03thousands of dollars in the back seat i mean just
14:06thousands
14:06i'm telling you in the back seat of that vehicle
14:09it looked like the counting room at the u.s mint
14:11you sure you ain't been hallucinating lately
14:13well i don't think so unless it was from hunger
14:15yeah or i'm giving you a test
14:17how many fingers am i holding up here
14:20four greasy ones
14:21well you did see them
14:23yeah
14:23well then we got them
14:24we got them
14:25we got them now
14:26and them duke boys ain't gonna wiggle out of it this time
14:29we ain't gonna wiggle
14:30here hold this
14:32hold that
14:33i gotta get me on the phone
14:34and call up every bank in these parts
14:37to see which one of them just been robbed
14:39i said hold it not eat it
14:40well it didn't
14:41all we gotta do is catch them duke boys with their loot and then collect the reward money
14:47oh good good and this time i get 50 50 right
14:50uh-uh-uh the usual 90 10
14:52but i saw it in the back seat of the car
14:54yeah and i figured out about collecting the reward money
14:57banks banks banks
14:59here we are
15:00you know roscoe
15:02you know something
15:03i just can't understand it
15:05how some people can be such fools
15:08as to allow their banks to be robbed
15:1060 40
15:1190 10
15:12now on the other hand
15:13you take my bank
15:15well my bank is 100% bagley proof
15:18and you wanna know why
15:2070 30
15:2090 10
15:21i'll tell you why
15:22because i have just installed on my vault
15:25a brand new
15:26modern
15:27time lock
15:28and nobody
15:29but nobody
15:30can rob
15:32my bank
15:3280 20
15:3390 10
15:34i'll take it
15:35now friends if boss only knew that that money roscoe's saying was from his bank
15:39he'd be choking on that pork chopper
15:41well the dukes all met at the old steel site number one
15:44they're having a parley to figure out how to pull old clarence's bacon out of the fire
15:47the only way you fellas are gonna get out of this mess you're in is to
15:52get that money back in the vault
15:54before jd knows it's missing
15:56can't be done jesse
15:57what do you mean it can't be done
15:59boss hog will be there eight o'clock on the dock monday
16:02first thing he does is open the vault
16:04second thing he does is count the money in it
16:07well then we gotta have the money back in there before he opens the vault
16:10before the bank opens
16:11it'd be kind of like bank robbing in reverse
16:13putting in instead of taking out
16:14yeah with the money there there ain't been no crime
16:16we're all off scot-free
16:17now how you boys gonna do that
16:19be easier for a chicken to lay a square egg
16:21why
16:22i got a key
16:23you got a key
16:24i also have the combination to the vault
16:27i wasn't sitting around that bank like a toad on a stump
16:30learning nothing for 30 years
16:32he's got the key and the combination
16:34cousin this is gonna be a lot easier than we thought
16:36falling over love
16:40while cooter was pumping the sludge out of pletus's car
16:43again cletus was on the job
16:46harassing citizens
17:00that is a violation of civil code 162b littering
17:05that littering is next to loitering as a matter of fact
17:11loitering
17:12loitering m-o-y-t
17:15oh
17:16top of the morning to you mr friday
17:18do you know that you just jaywalked and that's gonna cost you 15 dollars
17:21of course there was a little social protest
17:23and that's assaulting an officer
17:24that's free
17:26using cooter's garage for a command post
17:28the dukes were just about to start cooking
17:30y'all we got trouble
17:32cletus is over there in front of the bank writing tickets with both hands
17:35i wonder which one of jd's charities is in trouble now
17:38daisy you suppose you can decoy cletus away from the bank does a chicken have lips
17:42no but fish swim
17:45now that's gonna work
17:47all right now once you got him occupied you me and bo make a mad dash over there
17:50at my age i ain't much good at dashing luke
17:53maybe we better forget the whole idea
17:55now just a minute clarence
17:56well i don't know but if you was to to trust bo and luke with that combination in the key
18:01well they'd do the dashing for you
18:04jesse i feel real bad about letting bo and luke take all the risks
18:08for my foolishness
18:09but they can do it
18:12what do you see
18:12all right
18:13right here is the uh
18:15right here is the key
18:17and uh
18:18i promised we was gonna help you
18:19and that's what we was gonna do
18:21and this here is the combination
18:23don't you let anybody see that
18:25let's hit the road bro
18:26all right
18:26careful
18:33it's good boys
19:03and you're telling me you ain't had no robbery neither
19:06listen are you sure you've seen them dukes with all that money
19:09oh listen uh i'm sure
19:11i mean it's just as clear as cider in a jug
19:13well one more time
19:14how many fingers am i holding up here
19:16four
19:18all right
19:18how many pork chops are there in that pleat
19:20wait a minute
19:21did i eat all them chops
19:23oh you must have yeah
19:25no there sure were more left when i went to the phone
19:27maybe you're just hallucinating
19:29huh
19:29listen boss are you sure you called every bank
19:32yeah yeah i checked every bank in this book
19:34i mean there ain't a bank in this whole state that i overlooked
19:37except one
19:38which one
19:39yours
19:39mine
19:40yours
19:40mine
19:41yours
19:43mine
19:44mine
19:45mine
19:45mine
19:46mine
19:46mine
19:46mine
19:46come on roscoe we gotta go
19:48where are we going
19:49to my bank
19:50what for
19:50i've been robbed
19:51here arm yourself
19:52well how could your bank be robbed
19:55you said it was burglar proof
19:56and only a fool
19:57would let his bank get robbed
19:59yeah
19:59well only a jackass would be fouls of them
20:01come on let's not beat our guns here
20:03we gotta check it out fast
20:04move it
20:05move it
20:06move it
20:07move it
20:07i mean you're nothing to tell them new boys
20:09hear me i found some way to crack open my new time law
20:12come on
20:12come on let's go
20:14oh no no no
20:15come here let me get me out of here
20:16come here let me get me out of here
20:17no no no no
20:18let excuse me
20:20it's got to go
20:21you hear me
20:22come on
20:23move it
20:23please
20:24come on
20:24come on
20:31cliss
20:31can i talk to you for a minute sugar
20:36yeah
20:37looky here
20:38yeah
20:39cliss nodded me
20:40come on
20:40look at this sign
20:41somebody no account person
20:42just knocked it right over
20:44aww
20:44since the boys had to stay out of sight
20:46they figured it'd be where nobody was looking
20:49up
20:49weren't you a public-minded citizen daisy
20:51i was fixing a jiffy
20:53let me get my gun at
20:54no let me get you a rock
21:06i might hurt somebody with my gun
21:08that's true
21:18Make sure this is right in there.
21:21Oh, honey, now look what you've done.
21:23Oh, Cletus. Oh, my goodness.
21:25Oh, it don't hurt much, Daisy.
21:27I'd give all my thumbnails just to see you smile.
21:29I bet you say that to all the girls.
21:31Yeah.
21:49It takes all the fun out of it when it's this easy.
21:51Get in there. Come on.
21:59Got that piece of paper?
22:00Yeah, I got it right here.
22:02Start reading them numbers, all.
22:05Ten to the right.
22:12Oh, now, come on. Come on.
22:14We're down to the west end.
22:14All right, Cletus.
22:16Hold down the boat here.
22:18Are you sure you're not moving?
22:20Hurry up, man.
22:21Time's for them to show up.
22:22Don't come?
22:23Come on, will you?
22:24Yeah.
22:26What the train?
22:28Oh, there they are.
22:30Come here.
22:36Gosh, it's me.
22:38I thought you were right behind me, wasn't you?
22:40Well, the door was locked.
22:41All right, come on in here.
22:42Now, if anything moves, blast it.
22:45You hear me?
22:46Blast it.
22:47And boys are trapped like two foxes in a hen house with a sack full of eggs.
22:57That's right.
22:58If there's anything in here that moves, I'll blast you full of holes.
23:01I think that's it, Blue.
23:02Be careful with that weapon, you cow chip.
23:05You kidding.
23:05All right, come on.
23:06They got to check the vault.
23:07Okay.
23:11Well, it doesn't look like it's being tampered with.
23:14I guess nobody robbed you.
23:15All right, all right, all right, all right.
23:18Well, didn't I tell you I got 100% pagler tooth paint?
23:21Well, you want to twiddle that thing and open it up and see if your cash is safe?
23:25Roscoe, you got splinters in the windmills of your mind.
23:28Oh, that's poetic.
23:28Didn't I also tell you that I put this here time lock on the vault?
23:32Oh, yeah, there's a time lock on there.
23:34Yeah.
23:34So no way or no how can nobody get inside there till Monday morning at 8 a.m.
23:408 a.m.
23:42Well, now, what we got to do now is figure out a way to trap them Duke boys with all
23:48their loot.
23:49Oh, yeah.
23:51And then maybe we can collect a reward on that stolen money.
23:54Yeah, yeah, and then put them behind bars for violating their probation.
24:01Ain't you going to say I love it?
24:02Oh, yeah.
24:03I love it.
24:04Yeah, all right.
24:06Hey, wait a minute.
24:06I got to get me some more cigars for later.
24:09Come on, I got some over here at the desk.
24:11Oh, what's that?
24:12Something's leaking.
24:14Yeah, it's your brains in the sprinklers.
24:16Fire fire.
24:17The birds are on the list.
24:19They're not mine.
24:22They're not mine.
24:25What is it?
24:26I don't know.
24:27We got to bite it on the bus so that they're alive in the bank.
24:31Hey, is that the fire line out there?
24:33Let me put the fire out of the way to these guys.
24:35The last time old Luke tossed the ball to Bo, he dropped it.
24:38Looks like the boys are getting away.
24:40All right, go get them.
24:41Go get them, you boys.
24:42No, it's bad.
24:58All right, here, I'll get them.
25:00No, no, no, let me go.
25:01Let me go to you.
25:03Let me go.
25:04I'll use the keys.
25:06Yeah, all right.
25:07Now, get the phone's alarm.
25:09Turn off the sprinklers.
25:10Yeah, if you caught my money, you just dropped away from you.
25:13Here we go.
25:15Still ain't got rid of the money, though.
25:17I never should have got you Dukes mixed up in my mess.
25:21Don't worry about it, Clarence.
25:22We'll work it out.
25:23We will?
25:24Oh, yeah.
25:25I don't know how, but we will.
25:26My money is just by the way.
25:28It's that Duke boy.
25:29They turned this alarm on.
25:30Yeah, my money.
25:31My money.
25:32My money.
25:33My money.
25:35It's still locked.
25:36Yeah.
25:37It's still locked up?
25:37Yeah, so it is.
25:39And that's what I want them Duke boys.
25:41Locked up.
25:41Tight.
25:42You hear me?
25:43Yeah.
25:43All right.
25:44Now, I got to call Clarence.
25:46I hope this thing still works.
25:47Be an old wit.
25:49G.D. Hogg.
25:50Calling the Deputy Clarence Hogg.
25:51Come in.
25:52Come in, will you?
25:57G.D. Hogg.
25:58Deputy Clarence Hogg.
25:59Where in Clarence are you, Bird Green?
26:01Around them Duke boys' tab, Cousin' Boss.
26:03Oh, bless you, Cousin Cletus.
26:06All right, now, don't you lose them.
26:07Because I want them bad.
26:09Yeah.
26:09They just broke into my bed.
26:11Oh, well, you got them, Cousin' Boss.
26:13They ain't gonna get away this time.
26:18Oh, not again!
26:26Yes, Cletus.
26:28Again.
26:30Well, I'll be John Brown if I wouldn't turn in my badge and just go fishing.
26:35Oh, no.
26:36We're gonna have to go get clean.
26:37It's a drip-dry uniform, huh?
26:39First, we gotta get to Jensen's Hollow and see if he's dazed enough for Jesse.
26:47This is J.D. Hogg calling Deputy Cletus Hogg.
26:51Say hello from Roscoe.
26:52Oh, I am not gonna say anything from you.
26:54No, don't.
26:55Cletus!
26:55Cletus!
26:56Will you come in?
26:57Come in!
26:57Will you answer me?
26:58There's a little staff out here.
27:00Sounds like he's in the pond again.
27:02Oh.
27:04This is a Saturday end.
27:07I'm surrounded by nincompoops.
27:10Wet nincompoops.
27:11Yeah, you are right.
27:13Ah!
27:13What the heck?
27:14What are you doing to me?
27:16What are you doing to me?
27:17I'm sorry.
27:17I'm sorry.
27:17I'm a fat boy.
27:18Oh, no, no.
27:18Never mind that.
27:19Oh, never mind that.
27:21Will you?
27:21The Duke boys have declared war, and I'm gonna be ready for them.
27:25Therefore, I'm gonna put a 24-hour round-the-clock guard on this here bank.
27:30Are you kidding me?
27:31When am I gonna get a little snooze, you know?
27:33I mean, you got a time lock on that vault.
27:35What time lock on?
27:36No.
27:37I ain't trusting nobody for nothing, no how, no way, no more.
27:40No.
27:40I'm ordering you to call out the Hazard County Sheriff's Office.
27:44Oh, yes, sir.
27:45Good.
27:46If them Duke boys come within 50 yards of my back, I want each and every one of you to
27:51take aim and fight.
27:54No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
27:58Back at still site number one, the Dukes and Clarence were planning again.
28:01On top of all the grief I brung you, now all you boys is fugitives.
28:06Don't worry about it, Mr. Stovall.
28:07Shoot, we're used to that.
28:09First thing we gotta do, though, is clear you.
28:10We promised we was gonna help you, and we're gonna help you.
28:13Ain't gonna be easy.
28:14You got any ideas, Luke?
28:15That time lock that boss put on the vault sure throws a monkey wrench into the works.
28:19Sure does, especially since it doesn't open till Monday at 8 o'clock.
28:22Um, we'll all think better over a little coffee.
28:25I'll get the water if somebody will start the fire.
28:29Monday at 8 o'clock.
28:31That's when the money's gonna have to go back in the vault.
28:33Sure, you and me just gonna walk right in the middle of town in broad daylight and go into
28:36the bank, right?
28:39Well, you see, the time lock's gonna open whether he's there or not.
28:42Hey, he's taking my jeep.
29:05Hello, Mr. Stovall.
29:08I'm turning myself in.
29:09You're gonna do no such thing.
29:11Now you pull over there, you hear?
29:14All right, keep your city.
29:15You got it.
29:16Hey, please.
29:17Watch this.
29:18Watch this.
29:31Watch this.
29:32Oh, that's the craziest thing I ever did here.
29:35What do you mean?
29:37You're gonna turn yourself in.
29:39You're gonna do no such thing.
29:41You realize what would happen if you was to turn yourself in?
29:44What are you trying to pull?
29:45It ain't no use, Jesse.
29:47I'm done for.
29:48Done for?
29:48That's a word us dukes don't accept.
29:51Especially where a friend's entire future may be at stake.
29:54We will find a way out of this, Mr. Stovall.
29:56Now, look, why don't y'all just settle down, go home, get a good night's rest.
30:01Now, me and Bo camp out.
30:02We meet you cooters in the morning.
30:04All right.
30:04All right.
30:04Daisy, you drive and clearance you just quit this nonsense.
30:10We'll see you at cooters.
30:12Yes, sir.
30:13Come on.
30:13Let's go back to the farm.
30:22I'll tell you one thing.
30:24Them dukes can do some planning.
30:28Sunday morning came to Hazard.
30:30Boss missed church.
30:32He was guarding his bank.
30:33And the dukes were back at cooters trying to figure out some way to put the money back.
30:37I don't see why they don't just wait till Monday and make a deposit.
30:40We ain't got but one chance left.
30:41That boat's on a time lock.
30:42Dude will open up at 8 o'clock in the morning.
30:45We're going to have to figure out some way of getting Boss and everybody else, for that matter, away from
30:48the bank.
30:48Get Boss away from checking on his money?
30:50It'd be easier to put socks on a rooster.
30:53Well, not necessarily, Mr. Stovall.
30:54Not if we create some kind of ruckus.
30:56Hey, what do you think?
30:56Maybe a fist fight, a car crash, something like that?
30:59Hey, y'all.
31:01You left.
31:02You left.
31:02You left.
31:03Your wife spent 42 children without an engine.
31:05You're about to get his ride.
31:06All right.
31:07Squad.
31:08Hold.
31:09Hold.
31:11Reserve duty.
31:11Ready for duty, sir.
31:14Boss is calling in reinforcements.
31:17Got Homer Sneed and Bib Tucker over there in front of the bank with badges on.
31:21Ding, dang, ding it.
31:23Them tools into everything.
31:24Besides being voluntary firemen, they're deputy sheriff reserves.
31:29This whole thing's getting tougher by the minute, Uncle Jesse.
31:31Yeah.
31:32Hold on.
31:32Uncle Jesse just said the magic words.
31:36Which magic words is that?
31:38Voluntary firemen.
31:40Now, boss is the fire chief, right?
31:41That's right.
31:42Why should the fire department be spared his inspired help?
31:45Well, see, that's going to make it easy as pie to get everybody away from the bank in the morning.
31:48You men have been called out here to perform a sacred duty.
31:52Cousin boss.
31:53To guard this here bank and protect the money that's inside.
31:57Cousin boss.
31:57Oh, Cletus, hush up.
31:59And what makes it a sacred duty is that the money you're protecting is my money.
32:04Cousin boss.
32:04Cletus, will you hush up?
32:06Your big mouth is getting in the way of this here deployment.
32:08Cousin boss, I just noticed that Daisy's jeep is parked in front of Cooter's garage.
32:11When?
32:11Yeah, and where Daisy is.
32:13The Dukes ain't far behind.
32:15All right, now, you men stay here and guard the bank.
32:17And keep a sharp eye, you hear?
32:19Roscoe, Cletus, sir.
32:20Follow me.
32:21Shorby!
32:29Now, you're them two boys in there.
32:31Our troubles are over.
32:33But, you know, it's...
32:33Gotta be careful.
32:34Yeah.
32:35Now, let's just sneak up a moment.
32:36You it is.
32:41All right, so much for sneakers.
32:47Don't let him move.
32:48Sorry, J.D., the game's closed.
32:50I'll open for two matches.
32:51Where's Mo and Lou?
32:52Oh, you call it?
32:53Uh, we don't like them gambling.
32:55You may be able to flummox some folks,
32:57but you can't pull the wool off of my eyes, yes you do.
32:59Now, you and that's yours,
33:00you gotta be around here somewhere,
33:01and we're gonna find them.
33:02All right, one car, Cooter.
33:03Oh, that's dumb, Daisy.
33:04Drawing a form of kind.
33:05It's dumb you giving away my hand.
33:07Hush up, Cletus.
33:08Cletus, you luck nuts.
33:09Oh, hey, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
33:11They're up in the loft.
33:12Yeah, go get them in.
33:13I ain't nothing up there with mice, J.D.
33:15Here, and I'm the catch me out.
33:17Go on, drag them down here, Rostro.
33:19Come on.
33:19You wanna go first, Ollie?
33:21Go on, will you?
33:22Move it.
33:22I want to go with that.
33:24Just get up there and let it out.
33:26All right.
33:28Come out of there.
33:29I hear you pussyfooting around here.
33:31Well, go up and get them.
33:31Come on out.
33:39Must have been mice.
33:43What's going on up there?
33:45Did you get them?
33:46What's happening?
33:49Just hang on a couple ticks.
33:50We'll be in the clear.
33:51Yeah, you got it.
33:55Them boys better start growing some feathers.
33:57Or flapping their arms.
34:06Order!
34:07Order!
34:07Where is it?
34:07Let's see my fly!
34:08I can't sleep.
34:09The car is ready.
34:10Come on.
34:10Come on.
34:11Freeze!
34:12We're on the valley!
34:14Let it go!
34:15No!
34:16It's too late!
34:17Too late!
34:18Too late!
34:18Too late!
34:19There you do!
34:20I'm commandeering your jeep in the name of the law!
34:23Wait a minute!
34:25You can't come on!
34:26Come on!
34:26All right!
34:26You can't do that!
34:33You can't do that!
34:34Come on!
34:39Come on!
34:41Come on!
34:42Come on!
34:42Come on!
34:43Come on!
34:43Come on!
34:44Come on!
34:45Come on!
34:48Come on!
34:49You can't do that, look!
34:49You better lose them fast!
34:51All right!
34:51There we go!
35:01Boss, where's Cleetis?
35:02I ain't here!
35:04Ah!
35:04You left him behind, you little head!
35:15Cleetis, what are you doing hanging up in that tree making a monkey out of your shelf?
35:19What are you going this way for?
35:20Duke's going to get away!
35:21Oh, never mind them!
35:23They're long gone!
35:24Come on!
35:25Rest them!
35:25Keep on going!
35:26We've got to get back to my bank!
35:28We can't get past them there!
35:29We're heading back to town!
35:32He's picking up his driving stuff pretty quick!
35:35Check in!
35:35We're good!
35:37So here's a lot of sheep to Craze to see you coming back!
35:39Craze scooter coming back!
35:40That you got my ears on you coming on long and strong!
35:43What's a good word, Lucas Bird?
35:44Come on!
35:44Yeah, we're flying back to the nest we see bright and early in the AM!
35:51Good morning came the hazard, and the hazard bank was under heavy guard.
35:55At Cooter's garage, the Duke forces were synchronizing their watches.
35:58That is, uh, they were putting everybody's watch on the same time.
36:02Let's get synchronized.
36:03Everybody should have 715.
36:05715 on the dot.
36:06That gives us 45 minutes till the vault opens.
36:09This whole plan depends on everything going like clockwork.
36:12Daisy and Cooter, you better get out in position.
36:14You're looking good.
36:14Daisy, you got your stuff?
36:15Right here.
36:16See you when we see you.
36:18Yeah.
36:18Well, look at Jesse, you ought to be going right about now.
36:20Which means you and I better get moving.
36:22That's it.
36:22Mr. Stovall, you just sit tight with the money here.
36:25We'll be by at 745 to pick you up.
36:26I'll ever be able to thank all of you.
36:29As soon as we get that there money in that there vault yonder,
36:31you and I and everybody else have us a shindig, all right?
36:35Set tight now, folks, because here we go.
36:37Ladies, suck it in there.
36:39You'll look at that.
36:40That's great.
36:41I don't care what I'm doing.
36:42Look out.
36:43That boy.
36:45I need it.
36:45Get off.
36:47Hey, Luke, they take the bait.
36:49Hook, line, and sinker.
36:59I think that's them coming now.
37:01Yeah.
37:02Sure.
37:02Sure.
37:02Sure.
37:06Sure.
37:11All right, we've only got 30 seconds.
37:13You better hit it.
37:13Hey, lady, and all her shorts.
37:16Hey, how do I look?
37:17Oh, there's a family resemblance.
37:19It's light.
37:32Ladies, those Duke boys are trying to pull another fast one after him.
37:45Worked like a charm.
37:46Yeah, Uncle Jesse ought to be getting in position right about now.
38:02We've got time for a plant.
38:05We've got to change it in record time.
38:07Clarence is dead.
38:34Right on time.
38:37All right.
38:40Well, you're smoking your eye.
38:43I'll catch it.
38:53Fire! Fire!
38:57Fire!
38:57Come on!
39:01Fire! Fire!
39:05Fire! Fire!
39:06Fire!
39:08Well, now, this part of Luke's plan is working like a two-dollar watch.
39:12And so is this.
39:15Uh-huh. That two-dollar watch is running down.
39:26Come on, fellas. Time to board.
39:29Jesse, we can't. We gotta go out the bank.
39:33What's more important, the boss's money or your beholden duty to put out fires?
39:37The whole town could burn down.
39:40We need all the help we can get.
39:42Woo-hoo!
39:44Me either.
39:48We're really behind now.
39:50We're never gonna make it.
39:51We gotta make it.
40:04All right!
40:05Good God, dear.
40:07I love it.
40:07I love it.
40:08All right!
40:09You Duke boys!
40:10Get out of that vehicle and assume the...
40:14Hey, Roscoe.
40:15That ain't the Duke boys.
40:17That ain't the Duke boys.
40:17That ain't the Duke boys.
40:17That ain't Duke boys.
40:22Get out of the way.
40:23Thank you, Cletus.
40:24You like it?
40:24Will you hush, you dipstick?
40:26We've been decoyed.
40:28Let's get back to the bank before the boss is gonna skin us.
40:32That old Roscoe's elevator don't quite make it to the top floor.
40:36Get that vehicle out!
40:45Get that vehicle out!
40:47Get that vehicle in there!
40:50Hold it to them.
40:52Give me your hose.
40:54Bring me some water.
40:56Get out of the way!
40:58Wait for me!
40:59Wait for me.
41:00I'm coming!
41:01Stop!ō
41:02- HEY!
41:05We're
41:05handling business!
41:12All right, all right, I'm the fire chief. I'm taking charge. Go there. Go through there.
41:28Marks, get in here.
41:33When foundation's going on in there, somebody make a report.
41:36There's nothing at all, chief.
41:38Somebody just started firing an old stove is all. No damage.
41:41Well, the volunteer fire department's called out, so that means a hundred dollar alarm fee which I get.
41:47I mean, which the fireman's pension fund gets.
41:55Wait a minute. Homer! Bill! You here?
41:59Well, who's guarding the bank?
42:01Guarding the bank?
42:03Uh...
42:04You're not scouts! My vault's about to open any minute!
42:07And them Duke boys are scooping up my unguarded money right now!
42:14Well, it's almost 8 o'clock. I don't time.
42:17Ain't out of this yet.
42:19Justin Duke! What are you trying to do to me?
42:22I'm sorry, J.D., I didn't see you coming.
42:24Oh, no! Well, you ain't fooling me one little bit!
42:26You're in all this whole scheme! And you get your justice urge!
42:29Oh, what time is it?
42:30What time is it? What time is it?
42:328 o'clock! 8 o'clock!
42:348 o'clock!
42:378 o'clock!
42:42Open up them pearly gates.
42:44Let's get that money in there, Mr. Strobel.
42:47It's past 8 o'clock!
42:48It's past 8 o'clock!
42:50It's past 8 o'clock!
42:518 o'clock to be exact.
42:53It's past 8 o'clock!
42:54It's past 8 o'clock!
42:55It's past 8 o'clock!
42:58All right, you Duke boys.
43:00What are you doing here?
43:01Don't tell me I know what you're doing here!
43:03You stole all my money, didn't you?
43:04And you two, where you been?
43:05Well, the Duke boys decoyed us away from the bank.
43:09Yeah, yeah, past opening time!
43:11Right.
43:12Well, it is past opening time!
43:13No, it is past opening time!
43:15Yeah, it is!
43:16The vaults will be open and the Duke boys stole my money!
43:19Well, you clap them in irons while I check it out.
43:22My money.
43:23Where do you think you're going?
43:24Well, we figured since we're facing bank robbery charges,
43:27we might as well be at the scene of the crime.
43:30You know what?
43:30Hey!
43:32What are you talking about?
43:33Get in there!
43:34After me!
43:35Oh, sorry.
43:35After you.
43:37I got it!
43:38I got it!
43:39I got it!
43:40All my beautiful greed, buddy!
43:43Don't look like they've been no robbery to me.
43:44Ain't got nothing on the Duke's, I guess.
43:46Well, you hush!
43:47You know he's right.
43:48We don't have anything on the Duke's.
43:49No, we sure do.
43:50Oh, yeah.
43:51Yeah, they still haven't accounted for what they was doing in this here bank
43:53the other day when it was closed.
43:55And I call that breakling an entry.
43:57Right.
43:57Boss, we was just testing.
43:59Testing, testing.
44:00Testing?
44:00We was testing to see if your bank was burglar proof.
44:03Well, it is burglar proof, ain't it?
44:04Look at this.
44:05Well, not the other day it wasn't, boss.
44:06Seems you failed to test.
44:07What?
44:09Don't you fast talk me!
44:10Look, you boys are in a mess of trouble.
44:12And Clarence Stover, what are you doing here?
44:14Why, you're a fired employee.
44:15Fired?
44:16Boss, if you don't reinstate clearance,
44:18I think we're going to start spreading that hard-stopping story.
44:21What hard-stopping story?
44:22Oh, you know the story about your bank vault not being burglar proof like you say it is?
44:26There you go again!
44:27Boss, we walked in here clear as day.
44:29We even walked into the vault.
44:30Seems to me that on the right-hand side, as you walk in the door, there's a little table,
44:33and it's got eight stacks of small bills, an amount to $30,000, isn't it?
44:37That's it.
44:38That's where I found this money.
44:39You were in there.
44:40You were in there!
44:41Just don't tell anybody about it.
44:42Because, I mean, if people found out they'd come in here, they'd want the money back.
44:45There'd be a run on the bank, you know, and I can't afford that.
44:48Well, we'd better head over to Boar's Nest and tell all our friends and neighbors about the bank being unsafe.
44:52Don't tell anybody about it, William.
44:53Don't tell anybody!
44:54Well, maybe we can work some sort of deal.
44:56Like getting Clarence here unfired.
44:57What about my pension?
44:58Yeah, getting him his pension.
44:59That's right.
45:00Well, I mean, I didn't say he was quite definite now, did I?
45:03Yes, you did.
45:03No, I didn't!
45:04No, he didn't.
45:05Let's talk it over.
45:06Clarence, just come over.
45:07And that's the way the Duke boys got old Clarence hired back for one more day to qualify him for
45:12his pension.
45:12The boss, being the sentimental sort, got all mushy.
45:16All right, Clarence, I got a warrant for you here someplace.
45:19I'll tell you what, this damn thing broke.
45:22I mean, I like that.
45:23Look at this thing.
45:24It broke me, too.
45:24Well, I'm gonna give it to you anyhow, here.
45:26This thing just snaps back in, I guess.
45:28Well, you can get it, Frick.
45:30You know that.
45:31All right, good luck to you.
45:35Put that block away, because we want you to have this fishing pole.
45:38And you're not gonna worry about the time no more.
45:44Now, I ask you, wouldn't you like to have friends that are breaking to a bank to keep you out
45:48of trouble?
45:49Sorta makes you want to move to Hazard.
45:51Don't.
45:58Or, I don't know.
46:14I'm perfect.
46:14I'll see you next time.
46:15If you look, take a lounger tower.
46:15You're just going to be a hotel.
46:16I'm sorry.
46:16I could take a lounger tower.
46:17I'm afraid, but if you are in trouble, you may be safe.
46:17I'll see you next time.
46:17Let's go.
46:18Good luck, because I'm sorry.
46:20If you're looking for a little girl, I'll see you next time.
46:21I'm sorry.
46:25I'll see you next time.
46:26I'll see you next time.
46:28You're right away, so I'll see you next time.
46:34Oh, yeah, yeah, dude.
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