- 8 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:01On the Dukes, it's Sadie Hogday, and Daisy's the winner.
00:05Or is she?
00:05They just robbed the bank.
00:06Beautiful.
00:08I'll have you out of here in no time.
00:10Hit the scramble!
00:12Deal break!
00:14Yahoo!
00:16I'm ready to play!
00:23Oh, it's hot.
00:34Just a good old boy
00:38Never meaning no harm
00:42Beats all you've never saw
00:43Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born
00:48Straightening the curves
00:52Flatening the hills
00:56Someday the mountain might get them
00:58But the law never will
01:01Making their way
01:04The only way they know how
01:08That's just a little bit more
01:11Than the law will allow
01:13Just a good old boy
01:17Wouldn't change if they could
01:21Fighting the system like a true modern-day Robin Hood
01:35I gotta admit, cause Sadie Hogday's gotta be one of my favorite holidays
01:40Well, you ain't alone
01:42Never that many pretty girls get together in one place at one time
01:44I just got to do some shopping
01:48April 1st is April Fool's Day, most everywhere else
01:51But in Hazard it's Sadie Hogday
01:53That's when the women take over the Hazard government
01:56So the day before when women draw straws to see who does what
01:59Every man in Hazard with half a hormone
02:02Shows up to watch government in action
02:10Poor old Cletus
02:11He's missing all the fun
02:12Cause boss has got him waiting in the bushes
02:14Trying to nail the dukes on anything
02:16Which is sort of silly when you think about it
02:18Since everybody knows where old Cletus waits
02:20But it does keep things kind of simple
02:27Cletus is getting ambitious
02:31You better put that thing to the floor
02:33He's gonna catch us before we see them girls
02:35It's gonna ruin my whole day
02:37You got it
03:05Yeah, well how do you like it up there?
03:11Well, looks like old Cletus is finally getting up in the world, huh?
03:15Boss, you know something?
03:17I just love Sadie Hogday
03:19All those cute little heifers running around
03:21I just can't wait to pin my badge on one of those little cuties
03:25I wish you'd pin your badge on your flapping lips
03:27I'd like a little quiet, please
03:29While I'm taking my pig's nickel break
03:31Hush flash
03:36J.D. Hogg speaking
03:37And hurry it up
03:38I'm in the middle of eating my knuckle
03:39Uh, Mr. Hogg
03:42This is L.S. Hanley
03:44Chief Bank Examiner for the State Revenue Service calling
03:46Oh, Chief Bank Examiner
03:48I'll be dropping by to see you tomorrow at 2 p.m.
03:51Well, that's downright neighborly of you
03:53We're making a regional bank order
03:55To devolve the banks of the Tri-County area
03:58Inspecting for any possible embezzling of county funds
04:04You all right, Mr. Hogg?
04:06Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm all right
04:08Just a little morsel of my knuckle went down the wrong way
04:14I'm fine now
04:15Yeah, good
04:16Well, I'll be seeing you tomorrow
04:182 p.m.
04:20Bye
04:20Yeah, bye
04:22Of all the cotton-picking, corn-shunking, big-slapping
04:26Bad news?
04:28No, it was a singing candy, Graham
04:30Of course it was bad news, you do-do
04:33Look, the State Bank Examiner is coming here tomorrow at 2 p.m.
04:38To inspect the Hazard County books
04:40He's looking for signs of embezzling
04:43Oh
04:43Oh, embezzling
04:45I mean, you know what that means?
04:47Yeah, it means we're in deeper than a fat lady in quicksand
04:50We?
04:51Mm-hmm
04:52Because he's going to find a shortage in Hazard County funds
04:55Of exactly $142,679
04:59Oh, even the shortage of funds?
05:01Oh, yeah, yeah
05:02It means he's going to lock us up and throw away the key
05:06Boss, you keep saying we and us
05:08What you mean is you, don't you?
05:11Roscoe
05:11Every time I need funds for my various enterprises
05:14I keep dipping my finger in the county till
05:17And since all along I've been giving you 50% of 50% of my finger
05:22It's us
05:31All these young ladies
05:34I'm all out here to get the man's jobs
05:36Come on, baby
05:37I won't put me there
05:38Oh, Daisy draws a better one than she did last year
05:40Yeah, I don't think she's too happy with that sewer cleaning job she had last year
05:45Hello, boys
05:45Think, think, think, think, think, think, Sadie Hoggess
05:49Think
05:49Get them little brain cells that you're speculating
05:51There's got to be some way or other out of this here mess
05:55Bad news, bad news
05:57Oh, what now?
05:58Listen, those ladies out there are getting rambunctious
06:00What ladies?
06:01The ladies waiting for the Sadie Hogg drawing
06:04Oh, the ladies waiting for the Sadie Hogg Day drawing
06:06Yeah
06:07The Sadie Hogg Day drawing
06:09Oh, God love you, J.D. Hogg
06:12You've just done it
06:13Oh, God love you
06:14What would you do?
06:15Hmm?
06:16Well, I just saved you and me from 20 years in the pokey, that's all
06:19Oh, I appreciate that
06:21How did you do that?
06:23Well, I'm going to arrange to have Daisy Duke's name drawn as county treasurer on Sadie Hogg Day
06:29Oh, she'll appreciate it
06:32Yeah
06:32Why would you do that?
06:33You don't like the Dukes that much
06:34Yeah
06:35Well, when that state bank examiner gets here at 2 o'clock tomorrow
06:38He'll find that them missing county funds is Daisy Duke's responsibility
06:43Oh, I get it, I get it
06:45And all that embezzling will be blamed on her
06:48Oh, I love that, I love that
06:49And once we've got Daisy nailed well
06:51It's just a short step to suck in them two cousins of hers
06:53Boy and Luke Duke
06:54Oh, good
06:55And then you and I are off the hook
06:57Off the hook
06:57Once and for all
06:58Once and for all
06:59Good, good
06:59I tell you, this is truly a new high in Lowe's
07:04I'm just proud of you
07:05Yes
07:08All right, everybody, everybody, now
07:11Look, I want to welcome you all
07:13To our annual observance of Sadie Hogg Day
07:20A day named in honor of my very own great-great-grandma
07:29The very first woman in the south to have her own cotton gin
07:34Of course, when she ordered it, she thought it was a new way of making moonshine
07:43J.D., we're not getting any younger down here, you know
07:46She's right, move it, J.D.
07:48All right, all right, I'm hurrying on
07:49Look, the first one we're drawing for is Honorary Boss of Hazard County
07:54And that is my very own Lulu Hogg
08:01All right, now I'm going to draw for Honorary Sheriff of Hazard County
08:06And that is Miss Clara Coltrane
08:10And now, for Honorary Deputy, we have Miss Emma Tudale
08:16There you are
08:20And now, which may be the most important job of all
08:26Honorary County Treasurer
08:29And that is
08:31Oh, ain't that nice
08:35Miss Daisy Dube
08:47Isn't she just a little bit strange
08:48Is Boss Hogg so happy about her getting that job?
08:52All right, everybody
08:53I think we owe it to ourselves to show up at the bank in the morning
08:55Keep an eye on her cousin
08:56All right
08:58And so, Sadie Hogg Day dawned in Hazard County
09:01For 24 hours, the women folk were going to quit running things at home
09:04And start running the Hazard government
09:07Which was bound to be an improvement
09:17All right, all right, come on
09:19Come on
09:20Here you go, cupcake
09:21Salute
09:24Sheriff's department's all president accounted for
09:25Except for the sheriff, your honorable boss, your man
09:27All right, there it is
09:30And while it was Sadie Hogg Day in Hazard
09:33There was bank examining day in the state capital
09:35And that handy fellow set out for his 2 o'clock visit to the Hazard bank
09:38Boy, how would you like to be in his shoes
09:42And while the Honorary County Treasurer was arriving
09:45Little knowing that she was walking right into a trap
09:47Old Boss Hogg was greasing the trigger to make sure that the trap was sprung
09:53Uh-oh
09:55Well, that is
09:56We're going to have to put off eating for just a minute, Lulu, sweetie pie
09:59On account of we bosses got important county business to do over at the bank
10:04When the Duke boys showed up to keep an eye on Daisy
10:07Old Boss Hogg was way ahead of him
10:09He told Roscoe to keep the Dukes busy
10:11And he got Daisy to sign for them county funds
10:14Don't you just hate it when somebody picks on Daisy?
10:17Roscoe, he's only doing 25 miles an hour
10:19I checked
10:19Will you just hush?
10:21I'm not arresting you for speeding this time
10:23Nothing so picky-oonish
10:24I'm going to inspect your vehicle for smog
10:26A smog inspection?
10:28That's it, that's it
10:29Roscoe, we're in kind of a hurry here, if you don't mind
10:31Well, if you're in such an all-fire hurry
10:34Then you can help me by popping your hood
10:37Good, popping, popping
10:40All right
10:43Isn't this exciting being an executive, Lulu?
10:46And you're doing just fine, Daisy, honey
10:49All you gotta do is sign these here documents
10:51See it?
10:53And after you finish that
10:54Why, you'll be official county treasurer
10:58For 24 hours
11:01What's this last thing all about, boss?
11:03Oh, that, oh, nothing, nothing
11:04That's a matter of form
11:05That one makes you temporarily responsible
11:08For all the county funds
11:09Which are sitting in the bank vault there
11:11It doesn't mean nothing
11:12Just sign on the dotted line
11:14Boss, they don't call me Daisy Duke
11:16And county treasurer for nothing
11:17Now, seeing's believing, let me see that money
11:19Well, you are up on your toes, ain't you?
11:21I like that
11:22I'd like a sharp county treasurer
11:24Come on, have a look, see there
11:31There you are
11:34$142,679 in county funds
11:37Snug as a bug in a rug
11:39Yeah, yeah, you've seen it
11:43Boss
11:45Now you've seen it
11:46Look, I did not
11:47I didn't get to count it either
11:48Count it?
11:49Well, there's no need to
11:50Look, it's just a formality
11:52This is Stady Hog Day
11:53Don't you know it's all play acting?
11:55Now, look
11:56Boss Lulu and I got to go eat
11:58And if you don't want to sign that there paper
12:00Well, she and I'll just have to get ourselves
12:02Another county treasurer
12:04Right, Lulu?
12:05Yep
12:05Right
12:06And you can go back to your last year's job
12:09Of sewer commissioner
12:11No!
12:12Well?
12:12Okay, I'm signing
12:13Oh, now you're talking
12:17Yeah, that does it
12:19Oh, come on, Sugar Plum Boss
12:22We got to hurry before they run out of lunch
12:25Goodbye, county treasurer
12:29Bye, Daisy
12:30Bye, Lulu
12:38He's definitely trying to stall us
12:40That must mean Boss is pulling something on Daisy
12:43All right, one of you dukes get in there
12:45And start the engine
12:46I just put on my smog sniffer
12:50Yes, sir, Roscoe
12:54You, uh, thinking what I'm thinking?
12:57He ain't gonna be that stupid
12:58Is he good?
12:59Start the engine
13:00And let it run for, oh, say, 20, 30 minutes
13:02You dirty dukes
13:09You done snapped my ball flipper
13:13Freeze it
13:14Freeze it
13:33One sound out of you, lady
13:34And Sadie Hogg Day
13:35Is your funeral day
13:36Now, anybody that don't think that Boss Hogg
13:38Was the one that hired them boys to rob the bank
13:40Would buy a beach property in Idaho
13:48I'll clean out the vault
13:49You watch her
14:02Let's go
14:05If you know what's good for you, lady
14:06You won't make a move till we're long gone
14:08Come on
14:26Come on
14:27Come on
14:27Come on
14:28Come on
14:54Somebody help!
14:55The bank's been robbed! The bank's been robbed! Somebody help!
14:57That's right. Something's going on.
15:04Get after them. They just robbed the bank.
15:06You all right, Daisy?
15:07Yeah, I'm fine with that. Get away in that black car, please. Hurry!
15:16Oh, my goodness! Greetings!
15:18Greetings! Greetings! Come on!
15:21Greetings! Come on! Come on, you dodo!
15:25Get with it! Move it!
15:27The bank's been robbed!
15:29The bank's been robbed!
15:30They took all the money! Help us!
15:31Did you see who did it?
15:33Well, I've seen the boys drive off,
15:35but they're such nice youngsters,
15:36I don't think they have.
15:37Well, I'm sure they wouldn't need it, Mrs. Dale,
15:39but see it is believe it.
15:39It's a fireball!
15:45Let her rip, Perkins!
15:55Let her rip, Perkins!
16:00Let her rip, Perkins!
16:03Never mind what happened, Aunt Clara. Just push!
16:07This is Deputy Cletus Hawk calling Sheriff Coltrane.
16:08Come in, Sheriff!
16:09Uh, Cletus, this is your superior officer.
16:13Uh, get on with it.
16:14The Duke boys! I'm after them! They just robbed the bank!
16:18Are you kidding me?
16:19You sure?
16:20Of course I'm sure. Miss Teestale's seen them!
16:22Yeah, yeah, yeah! I've seen them, all right! I've seen them, yeah!
16:24Treece's seen them!
16:25Uh, well, listen, Cletus, you stay after them,
16:27because I'm coming, I'm coming! Get...
16:29I'm coming with you!
16:30Aunt Clara, you can't come,
16:32because there's a lot to be shooting and hurting!
16:34Uh, this is your Sheriff speaking!
16:36I'm coming! This is your Aunt Clara speaking!
16:42You good?
16:52Well, I'd say right about now, the pot is really boring.
16:56The Dukes are chasing the crooks,
16:57and Cletus and Roscoe are chasing the Dukes.
16:59And that examiner fellow is heading for his 2 o'clock meeting
17:02at the Hazard Bank,
17:03which about now is cooking like a Labor Day fish fry.
17:06What?
17:06I don't know what's going on!
17:07Look at this!
17:08I don't know what's going on!
17:09Wait, wait!
17:10I don't know what's going on!
17:11Daisy, what's going on?
17:12Daisy!
17:14Daisy!
17:14Daisy's crying!
17:15Everything's going on!
17:17I don't know what's going on!
17:33What do you know about that?
17:35They didn't get nothing!
17:37Yes!
17:38The county funds!
17:39Yeah, they cleaned them out!
17:40They took every penny of them county funds,
17:43a hundred and forty two thousand six hundred and seventy nine dollars
17:47boss i just didn't have any time by the time you all went to lunch
17:51they were here and in the vault before i had a chance to lock it it was just
17:53oh likely a story i knew i shouldn't trust you dukes
17:57i'll bet you was even in cahoots with them crew now come on boss
18:01you can't go accusing daisy like that well i sure can
18:04on the corner this here ledger speaks for itself let me find that
18:08here looky here one hundred forty two thousand six hundred and seventy nine
18:12dollars of county funds were sitting at that there bank vault
18:15for which you daisy duke signed a paper making you temporarily responsible
18:20and so i'm holding you personally liable
18:25right lulu right
18:28i just can't believe
18:34aha what a haul
18:38one thing about working for boss hogg is that he's very democratic
18:42he skins everybody
18:43there's nothing in here but trash
18:47we've been had
18:57this is called hot pursuit
19:05there's a whole posse after us let's get out of here
19:10they didn't do something out of the car
19:11we better take a look
19:23over there
19:27all right
19:28all right
19:29all right
19:29all right
19:30all right you dukes come out of there with your hands up
19:33what's wrong now
19:34oh come on roscoe another smog inspection
19:36yeah put that gun away we got the loot here for you
19:39we got you for bank robbery this time
19:41get the evidence
19:43roscoe what are you talking about you saw them crooks throw this stuff in the bushes
19:46the real crooks are getting away
19:48we got your cold chicken turkey this time
19:51see we got a witness
19:52a what witness
19:53sorry boys i seen you when you drove away
19:56i hate to do this to you and your nice uncle jesse
20:00miss tisdale you saw us chasing the real crooks cleanest day
20:03hey oh will you hush you are the real crooks
20:06here they got the bandanas they wore
20:07money bags
20:08money bags
20:09money is money that's it
20:11hey
20:12that ain't nothing but trash
20:14well there ain't nothing but trash
20:16it's not trash it's evidence
20:17great listen
20:18it's got to be in there
20:19yeah you better pick it all up
20:20getting it all over the ground
20:21here now you pick that stuff up
20:24here now you pick that stuff up
20:26we're gonna have plenty of the other
20:27here
20:27there you go
20:28wait a minute
20:29wait wait
20:30wait
20:30wait
20:30wait
20:30wait
20:30please
20:34please
20:34please
20:35please
20:35please
20:35please
20:36please
20:37please
20:38please
20:42please
20:43please
20:44listen i'm
20:44will you get this off
20:47crossco i know there was only trash in them bags
20:49what else
20:50when they tied the tires together
20:51tied them in a square knot
20:52and then they pulled on it
20:53like that
20:53oh like this
20:54oh boss
20:56don't worry about it
20:57don't worry about it
20:58all you gotta do is put out an APB on them bank
21:01robbing duke boys
21:02oh
21:03boss
21:03there's no way that bowler could've robbed your bank
21:06i know cause i was there and i saw who did it
21:08they not only could've but they did
21:11yeah
21:11and we got a witness to prove it
21:13one who's a sworn officer of the law
21:15yeah
21:15miss tisdale and she was wearing her glasses too
21:18yeah and roscoe
21:20make sure that you mention that them crooks heisted all of the county funds
21:25a hundred and forty two thousand six hundred and seventy nine simoleons
21:29oh
21:30which you daisy duke are responsible for
21:32yeah
21:33naughty naughty
21:33boss i got it
21:35i got it
21:35we'll really be ready for him when that bank examiner comes at two o'clock
21:42what'd you say about a bank examiner
21:44he said nothing that'll help you thieving dukes
21:47now roscoe
21:48i want you to take daisy duke and lock her up immediately
21:50i'm charging her with being an accomplice to this nastily crime
21:54right lulu
21:55right
22:02you boys drive that car like you're done with it
22:04well
22:05we got problems
22:06what's that
22:07daisy's in jail
22:08she's in jail what's she doing there
22:10well
22:10uh
22:11words out that she's responsible for all of that money you boys is supposed to have stole
22:15but uncle jesse there was no money it's just newspaper we sprained
22:18i know that
22:19her boss is up to something that's for sure
22:22you best go bail her out so we can hear her side of the story
22:24uh
22:25you got fifty thousand in your jeans
22:27dollars
22:28fifty thousand dollars
22:30well that's a little bit steep for cousin daisy ain't it
22:33well
22:33cooter heard that the bank examiner's due in town
22:36now i figure jd wants to keep her under cover so she won't spill no beans
22:40well you didn't figure on us
22:41come on bow we got a bus driver
22:43just hold it
22:44this bust out's on me
22:45so the boys sneaked into town to drop off their uncle at the jail
22:48on mission breakout
22:50daisy how are you
22:51i'm better now hi uncle jesse
22:53uh
22:55i'll have you out of here in no time
22:57i'm sorry jesse i feel as bad about this as you folks
23:01but you know the law is the law
23:04uh you're a hundred percent right emmer and you know what i did i brought flowers for the prettiest law
23:12enforcement officer i ever did see
23:15for me
23:16for me
23:17you
23:17oh thank you
23:19in your perky little hat there and uh
23:22and that sparkle in that badge brings out the sparkle in them big brown eyes of yours
23:30oh jesse you've never talked to me like this before
23:34i never felt this way before you know emmer i'm a shy man but you know something i got a
23:41hankering for you emmer
23:43oh jesse you're making me steam up my glasses but tell me more
23:47now i know where you and me got it
23:50uh i'd like to come calling on you saturday night if you'd like
23:55like
23:55honey we'll have a wing ding
23:57popcorn buttermilk at lawrence wealth records
24:02oh you hear that daisy i finally landed just for jesse
24:07girl what are you doing on yourself
24:09go for it daisy
24:10i'm sorry miss tisdale
24:11come back here daisy
24:12all right let's get out of here
24:13emmer emmer i i'll make this up to you
24:16i'll tell rascal it's all my fault
24:18and i will call on you saturday night
24:21jailbreak
24:22jailbreak
24:23wikii
24:24wikii
24:25wikii
24:25wikii
24:26wikii
24:29wikii
24:30Right there, boys. We're coming to you.
24:32Hey, baby. Hey, come back here.
24:35Hey, baby.
24:36There you go.
24:40Hey, Frank!
24:42Baby, get your stuff right there. You come back here.
24:44You're gonna wreck.
24:45I'll drive. Oh, no, you don't. This is my car.
24:48I'm driving. You stay here.
24:49No way, homie. At my age, you go for all the guts
24:52so you can get. Well, you go for your guts
24:54over the shotgun seat. Just scoot over.
25:11Now, wouldn't you just know it?
25:13With women running things,
25:14the garbage was even being collected on time,
25:17which was throwing everything off,
25:18especially for the Dukes.
25:20Friends ain't nothing harder to deal with
25:22than erratic efficiency.
25:30He's a little bit more than there.
25:32He's a little girl.
25:37Yeah!
25:37Yeah!
25:38You should be driving.
25:46Yeah!
25:47Yeah!
25:50Yeah!
25:51Yeah!
25:52Yeah!
25:52Yeah!
25:53Yeah!
25:53I can use that next December.
25:56Now, Roche, go.
25:57Come on, we've got to hurry.
25:59On the call of that bank examiner, it's arriving at two.
26:02Where do you want this?
26:02Just a minute.
26:04What is that?
26:07Look at that.
26:09It's a sneaky little place.
26:10Look at that.
26:12Boss, let me ask you something.
26:14Why do you have two bank ledgers?
26:17Roscoe, you better sneeze.
26:18I'm going to your brains are getting dusty.
26:20Look, this here ledger that we brung is the official county ledger,
26:24which shows all the county funds which are supposed to be in the bank vault.
26:29$142,679.
26:30You got that?
26:30Well, I got that.
26:31Good.
26:31Now, here, this little darling with the Confederate sticker on it
26:35is my private and secret ledger.
26:37Oh, yeah.
26:38Which shows how much I've been taking out of the cookie jar.
26:40Yeah, which is a lot.
26:41You got that now?
26:43Could I have a...
26:43Oh, quit babbling, quit babbling.
26:45Look, I've got to check these two accounts
26:47to make sure all them figures match on the bottom line.
26:50Uh-huh.
26:51And then we'll rush this official ledger back to the bank
26:53before the examiner gets there.
26:55Oh, that's good.
26:56Sheriff Coltrane, call Sheriff Coltrane.
26:58This is Deputy Cletus Hall.
26:59Call Sheriff Coltrane, come in.
27:00Cletus, this is Roscoe P. Coltrane.
27:03Will you get on with it?
27:04We're busier than a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs here.
27:07There's been a jailbreak.
27:09Jailbreak?
27:10Truck gang sprung jason.
27:11And I'm in hot pursuit.
27:12Oh, give me that.
27:14Oh!
27:15Cletus, you keep on that tail.
27:17Roscoe and I will try to hit him off at the junction.
27:20Roger, we'll cope.
27:22Now, come on, hurry, hurry.
27:24We only got less than an hour.
27:25Come on, hurry.
27:26And don't forget the ledger.
27:28What?
27:30Forget the ledger.
27:31I'll just put it back in his little sneaky hiding place.
27:37Never knew that was there.
27:40Never knew that.
27:41Here, let me put it.
27:44Oh, can you get it?
27:55He's still back there.
27:58Shakin'.
27:58Look, I got my foot to the floor already.
28:07He's still back.
28:09What's the hell on about?
28:10Danger.
28:11Women at work.
28:30Yes, your life is trying to work.
28:32Ha, ha, ha.
28:33Woo-hoo.
28:38There, there's Cletus.
28:39Is there a good?
28:40That's it, Cletus.
28:41Keep coming.
28:42We got a bit of squeeze.
28:43Oh, look out.
28:44Hang on, y'all.
28:46Whoa!
28:51Oh, my head.
28:57Cletus, I'm going to knock you in the middle of next week.
29:00Yee-haw.
29:01Hot doggies, it sure beats a sheep dead by the Saturday night bingo.
29:06Cletus, go after them.
29:07I'm, I'm gone.
29:09Looky here.
29:10It's almost 1.30.
29:11We got to get back before that bank examiner shows up.
29:14So move it.
29:15If we can.
29:15You better.
29:16Well.
29:17Or else I'll be riding piggyback on a jackass.
29:19And you know who that'll be.
29:20You, you, you.
29:21Get up.
29:21Oh, move it, move it.
29:23Come on.
29:24Yeah.
29:27Well, there's one thing about the Dukes.
29:29They do stick together.
29:30Now, all of them are fugitives.
29:33About now, most folks would cut and run.
29:35But not the Dukes.
29:36They hold a family meeting.
29:38Well, get back.
29:43Listen, I'm so sorry I got y'all into this.
29:45Oh, don't worry about it, Daisy.
29:46It ain't your fault.
29:47J.D. Hogg, why, he's crookeder than the devil's hind toe.
29:51Yeah, he's been kicking us right clean in the tailpipe with it, too.
29:53Key to it's got to be that state examiner coming to inspect the bank.
29:56Maybe he's been dipping his sticky little fingers into the till.
30:00You know, I bet he's trying to cover up for the shortage.
30:02Yeah, but how can we prove that?
30:04Well, we can't.
30:05Unless he kept track of what he dipped out.
30:08Yeah, he'd have them records hid somewheres.
30:11We ain't gonna find him standing around here.
30:13Look, Uncle Jesse, if you and Daisy can head back into town and check out his office here,
30:17me and Bo go over and search a boar's nest.
30:19Meanwhile, we get cooed around to CB, he'd get over to Boss' house.
30:22All right, we'll check with you.
30:23All right.
30:23We'll find you, you know what I'm trying?
30:24Yeah.
30:27Well, back at the bank, things are getting interesting.
30:30The bank examiner's doing about 15 minutes to look at Boss' books,
30:34which he don't know that he ain't got.
30:36But even if he did, Daisy would be in trouble.
30:46All right, all right.
30:47Let's get down to this.
30:47Right.
30:48Now, the ledger.
30:49Give me the ledger.
30:49Uh, exactly which ledger are you talking about?
30:51The official county ledger, ain't you got it?
30:54No, no, no, no.
30:56Don't tell me you left it back at the boar's nest.
30:57I left it back at the boar's nest.
30:59You told me.
31:00Well, you see, I was chasing the Duke boys, but I put both of them back in that sneaky little
31:05hiding place.
31:05You put both of them back in there, you knucklehead.
31:08Go.
31:08All right, all right.
31:09Go on back there and get it.
31:10You hear me?
31:11Look, the bank examiner will be here in 15 minutes.
31:13Oh, jeez.
31:14And if you value your skin, you'll beat them back here with that official county ledger.
31:17But, but, did you...
31:18And I mean the official county ledger.
31:20What?
31:20Not my own private and secret ledger with a little Confederate sticker on it.
31:23But, but, but, but, but...
31:25You gonna stand there all day clicking your choppers or what?
31:27Get moving, let's go!
31:34And, of course, who was at the boar's nest just waiting to get caught?
31:39You guessed it.
32:08Safe-crackin' eatin' our little bag of tricks.
32:10There you go, Flash.
32:11Oh, you're gonna hear me.
32:16Good job.
32:16Great, what a time for somebody to show up.
32:18Just a sleep-out.
32:19I'll get that thing here, if I'm not sure.
32:23There you go, Flash.
32:25Yeah, yeah.
32:27I'll put you right down here, and you can be real comfy while Daddy gets the ledger.
32:32Good.
32:36This is a sneaky place.
32:37Good job, Dad.
32:39There you see.
32:40There it is.
32:43Well, at least they're finally one step ahead.
32:48Look at that.
32:52There's two sets of books.
32:53Let's see now.
32:56Which one of those is which?
33:00All right, come out of there.
33:02Come out of there with your hands up.
33:04All right, you do.
33:06Hold it right there.
33:07One move out of you and you're dead ducks.
33:09Uh, dukes.
33:11One step forward and slide back, too.
33:15That's Hazard County progress.
33:22All right, you dukes.
33:24Now, I not only got you for bank robbery, but I got you for breaking and entering.
33:27Good luck.
33:28Roscoe, would you get serious?
33:29We didn't rob no bank.
33:30Yeah, I bet the information in them books there approve it, too.
33:33I don't know anything about that.
33:35You just hold it right there till I call Boss Hogg.
33:43Uh, little bitty buddy, this is Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane.
33:47You got your fat little ears on.
33:48Come on.
33:48J.D. Hogg here.
33:49And Roscoe, why in blazes ain't you here?
33:52Boss, good news, good news.
33:54I caught these Duke boys breaking and entering the boar's nest.
33:58And I got them prisoner to come back.
34:00Oh, all right, all right.
34:01Good work.
34:03You drag them in.
34:04And then you get right back here with that official county you-knew-what.
34:09I don't know what.
34:10Yeah, you-knew-what.
34:12For the you-knew-who.
34:13The man who's getting here to the bank at two o'clock.
34:17Oh, yes.
34:18That's a big, fat affirmative.
34:20I'm gone.
34:22Don't you?
34:23There, see?
34:25See, now I got you.
34:26I got you.
34:27Roscoe, can't we talk this over?
34:28There ain't nothing to talk over.
34:30Now, you just hold it right there.
34:31While I check this, you know what.
34:34Ain't this yours?
34:37Oh, hurry.
34:40Hurry.
34:50Dang it.
34:51Should have grabbed them books on the way out.
34:53Oh, great.
34:53We stayed in there much longer.
34:54We could have read them while we was in jail.
34:57Let's call off Daisy, Jesse, and Cooter.
34:59Hey, I got an idea.
35:01And meanwhile, look who's here.
35:03Friends, now the cheese is gonna get more bite.
35:07Oh, hey.
35:08You don't know you'll let them Duke boys get away.
35:11You just get your hands on that official county you-knew-what.
35:14And bring it here on the triple.
35:17Now, move it.
35:18I'm gone.
35:21Let's see, Flashy.
35:23Oh, that's, uh, uh, let's see, huh?
35:26Now, that's...
35:27Poor old Roscoe.
35:28With that sticker missing, he can't tell which, uh, you-know-what is which.
35:32So he figured he better bring them both.
35:35How'd you like to have him fix your car?
35:37Mr. Henry!
35:38Oh, Mr. Henry, Mr. Henry!
35:41Welcome to Hazard County and to our humble, not to mention, honest little bank.
35:48My name is Hogg.
35:50J.D. Hogg.
35:51Jefferson Davis Hogg.
35:53At your service.
35:55Oh, and lookie here.
35:57This is my charming, adorable wife, Lulu.
36:01Lulu Hogg.
36:04Oh, well, sweetie, Kate, why don't you just go and get Mr. Hanley some of your luscious bonbons?
36:11Oh, all right!
36:12I'm not interested in bonbons, Mr. Hogg.
36:16I want to see your ledger for the county funds.
36:19Oh, yeah, yeah.
36:20My ledger.
36:21But why ain't you interested in bonbons, Mr. Henry?
36:24I think you really like them.
36:25No, I just want to see the ledger, Mr. Hogg.
36:27That's all I need.
36:36That's right, Uncle Jesse.
36:37That state bank examiner ought to be there by now.
36:40Why don't you and Daisy see if you get a chance to talk to him?
36:43Right, Luke.
36:44Daisy and I will see if we can catch him on the QT.
36:47In the meantime, you boys be careful, you hear?
36:50You got it.
36:53Boy, this sure is a nice change of pace, us setting the trap for Roscoe.
36:57Yeah, since we know the hiding place, Roscoe's bound to have both sets of ledgers.
37:01You know, if we get hold of that phony ledger, maybe we can send boss to jail instead of us.
37:09Speak of the devil.
37:11Hit it!
37:24Frank, it's those Duke boys.
37:25Listen, you know what you got to do?
37:27You got to guard those books with your life.
37:30So, that means...
37:32The ledger, Hogg, the ledger.
37:34J.D., Roscoe's calling you on the C-Bay.
37:37Oh, Roscoe.
37:38Excuse me, sir.
37:39Sheriff Roscoe P. Coltrane is calling me.
37:42A commissioner's work has never done it.
37:43Now, just wait a minute, Hogg.
37:44Oh, you must have a momma on, Mr. Hanley.
37:48Roscoe, where in Tarnation are you at?
37:51You wouldn't believe this, but those Duke boys are chasing me.
37:54They're chasing you?
37:56All right, all right.
37:57They must be after my private and secret, you know what.
37:59Listen, listen, Roscoe.
38:00We can't afford to take any more chances.
38:02So, I'll tell you what.
38:03You head out to the town's incinerator, and you burn my private and secret, you know what.
38:09You got that?
38:09And then you bring that official county, you know what, back here and fast.
38:14Because I can't stall this examiner fellow much longer.
38:17Boss, there's one little problem, you see.
38:19I don't know which one of those you know watches which, because that little rebel flag done
38:25come off of it, did you?
38:28Roscoe, so help me.
38:30All right, all right, listen, listen.
38:32I'll head out and meet you at the incinerator, right away.
38:35Just seek them Duke boys off your tail.
38:37Shit.
38:38Head for, I'm gone.
38:39Sounds like they're going to try and burn that phony ledger.
38:41We better stop them.
38:42Now, you look here, Hogg.
38:43Oh, excuse me, sir.
38:44I'll be back in a jiffy.
38:45Important county business.
38:46It's a matter of life and death.
38:48Mine.
38:51Where do I go?
38:53Oh, there he is, over there.
38:56Yeah, come on.
38:57I'm coming.
38:58I'm coming with you.
38:59Oh, don't.
39:00All right, get in, get in.
39:04Let's go with this angel.
39:05Do stop.
39:06Come back here.
39:10Mr. Examiner, we're the Duke.
39:12Now, if you want to get to the bottom of this thing, you'll come with us.
39:15Come on.
39:16Let's go.
39:17There's two of them jail-breaking Duke.
39:19Go get them.
39:20Hold on there.
39:21Come back.
39:21I'm out of there.
39:24What do you think you're doing?
39:26Lock it off, sonny.
39:27This time I'm doing a ride-off.
39:29No.
39:29Baby, put the pedal to the metal.
39:31Hold on.
39:32Hold on.
39:32This is up.
39:33Let's go.
39:34Whoa, whoa, whoa.
39:46All right, General.
39:47It's up to you.
39:55All right, General.
40:04It's up to you.
40:20You're a tunnel.
40:26What's up?
40:39Aaaaah!
40:43Oh, oh, oh! Get out of the way! Get it! Move it!
40:51Aaaaah!
40:59Yahoo!
41:05Incinerator!
41:06I just hit the incinerator. Let's cut them on.
41:25Here she comes.
41:29Yahoo!
41:33One, one, one, one, one, one!
41:36Oh, oh, oh!
41:44Woo!
41:49Woo!
41:51Woo!
41:52Woo!
41:54Woo!
41:54Woo!
41:55Woo!
41:57Woo!
41:57Woo!
41:59Woo!
42:00Woo!
42:01Go!
42:03Woo!
42:07Thaah!
42:09Woo!
42:14Oh!
42:14Come on, come on.
42:30Come on.
43:00We don't have time to wait for boss which one you think is the phony you're no help
43:35there it is hey flash fingers crossed look
43:45we're here boss let's go let's go leaders leaders arrest them dukes and i mean all of them the whole
43:52caboodle mr henley mr head well you sure do get around don't you well i'm glad you're here to see
44:00what i have to put up with and has the county these no account dukes here why they're guilty
44:05of bank robbing embezzling not to mention jail breaker hog where is the bank ledger for the
44:10county funds hmm that's uh right here mr hanley let's go you did burn that are you kidding me
44:19look in there see cook it's cooking mr hanley i think you'll find everything in proper order
44:25in that ledger that's 142 679 dollars in hazard county county funds which were recorded as being
44:33in our bank vault until they was grabbed by this bunch of thugs the duke now just a minute jd
44:39you
44:39can't go accusing us well i sure can on account of figures don't lie no no they sure don't it
44:46says
44:46right here six thousand dollars a hog building construction company huh thirty seven hundred
44:51dollars hog frozen fritters incorporated now wait a minute eighty one hundred dollars for hog
44:56international shipping incorporated let me see that oh moron well listen you burned the wrong legend
45:03well listen i i told you i told you i didn't know which was switching which i had to go
45:07any
45:07meany i don't need many you mr hanley mr hanley sir don't pay no attention to that old and just
45:16after all these years lulu still don't see boss for what he is right lulu wrong ain't love wonderful
45:24that's great and so to stay out of jail boss had to make up every penny of that missing money
45:33out of
45:33his own fat pocket even though the dukes were all cleared jesse was in worse trouble trying to escape
45:41from miss tisdale old vo and luke managed to get further involved in civic affairs on sadie hog day
45:48and being true to his word old jesse had his work cut out for him he took miss tisdale to
45:53the hazard
45:53hold down and he don't even know how to dance
46:34do you
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