- hace 4 meses
El rey retira a Edmund el título de duque de Edimburgo. En venganza, la Víbora Negra recluta un ejército de bandidos para apoderarse del trono.
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00:00The Black Viper
00:30The Black Viper
00:59England, 1498, St. Juniper's Day, the day on which the king bestows new honors on his knights.
01:07Saint Junípero once said, you will know him by his daughter and you will measure him by the length of his rod.
01:16The length of my rod is a mystery to everyone except the queen and a thousand Turkish whores.
01:21But the fruits of my daughterhood are here, for all of you to see.
01:29I have two sons, Harry and that other one.
01:36Come closer, Harry, Prince of Wales.
01:39Harry, here and now I appoint you captain of the guard, general of the northern foot soldiers, lunatic head of the duchy of Gluster,
01:58Viceroy of Wales, Sergeant of Nottingham, Marquess of the Midlands, Lord of the Royal Postmen and Messenger of the Dying Rat.
02:08Let the other one come closer.
02:25So far, your titles have been these.
02:29Duke of Edinburgh and Keeper of the Royal Toilets.
02:32That's right, my lord.
02:33We thank you for your work in Edinburgh and announce that we are relieving you of such a difficult task.
02:38and we give the dukedom to our loyal cousin Hastings and may you have many more.
02:43Thus, I conclude my duties for Saint Julito's Day.
02:48Chiswick, fresh horses.
02:50We set off for the rebel Stock.
02:52Here is my sword, ready to leap over the city walls.
02:56Get off your asses and scream with me.
02:59Sword, I honor you more than any other.
03:05On horseback, my braves!
03:17Well, it could have been worse.
03:20Yeah, I thought you were losing the toilets.
03:23No!
03:24This won't stay like this!
03:28No, no, no, my lord.
03:29It won't stay that way.
03:31I must remove the chaff from my life and let the wheat grow in all its greatness.
03:37Do it at once, my lord!
03:39So be it, Percy.
03:41I dismiss you from my service.
03:43I?
03:44Why, sir?
03:45Because, Percy, far from being a suitable companion for a royal prince, you'd be better off wearing a fool's pants.
03:56You ride a horse worse than any other horse, Percy.
04:01Your brain would make a grain of sand look huge and ungainly.
04:05And those unmentionable parts of you, trusted sources among the women of the court, have told me that they are not worth quoting.
04:14If you wore a hat with bells and a fur loincloth, you could make a living as a jester.
04:21But since you wouldn't get a joke even if he stood up and gave you a haircut, and I doubt it, you're fired for all that.
04:30Yes, I understand.
04:31And as for you, Valdrick, you too.
04:33That?
04:33That?
04:33That?
04:35Very good.
04:37So Edmund scorned his friends and set out in search of glory.
04:41I suppose you'll now be back shoveling manure in the stream I pulled you from.
04:45No, I don't think so.
04:47No?
04:47It took me years to find that job. I'll probably go back to tending pigs and cleaning lepers' droppings.
04:54Oh yeah?
04:55It will take me a while before I can start shoveling manure again.
04:57One hundred yards later.
05:08Get out of my way.
05:10Are you going on a trip, my lord?
05:12No, I'm just standing here talking all day.
05:15You'll need someone to look after your horse.
05:17No, and even if I needed to, I wouldn't take you.
05:20Tell me, what do you do?
05:27One, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three, one, two, three.
05:36Oh my God!
05:38Well, if you follow me, you can come.
05:40Thus Edmund entered England, with a rather annoying old servant.
05:51And the black viper roamed the country in search of the king's other six most evil men.
05:58Sir Wilfrid Death.
06:00Here it comes!
06:04Oh my God! Let's hide!
06:05Well, Sir Wilfrid Death. Your tyranny has come to an end.
06:12Prepare to be hung by your attributes from the branches of that tree.
06:16Never.
06:35Sir Wilfrid Death.
06:38Edmund.
06:45I'm looking for some men to take over the kingdom.
06:51How many do you have already?
06:52Well, it's agreed.
07:03Edmund. The Three-Fingered One.
07:04The winner keeps the horse.
07:08Yeah!
07:09Good.
07:10There's the target. You shoot.
07:13First.
07:19Good.
07:20Good shot.
07:22In fact, so good that I'll have to make...
07:28Ah!
07:30Swallow.
07:33Hit the three fingers!
07:40Glastonbury Guide.
07:42Good afternoon.
07:45And surrender.
07:46Your money or your life.
07:49Okay, here.
07:50It's all I have.
07:54Thank you.
07:55And now, let me pass.
08:01Always the same.
08:03Did I say the bag or life?
08:06I think so.
08:07I'm sorry.
08:09I was wrong.
08:10The bag and I saw it.
08:15I'm sorry.
08:20Thanks, Ned.
08:22Up to the frame.
08:25Gui!
08:26Wilfrey!
08:27Now we need a real bastard.
08:34I'm the Irish bastard!
08:36I'm the Irish bastard!
08:36Have mercy on a poor blind man, sir.
08:50Have mercy on a poor blind man, sir!
08:59They are the Irish bastard.
09:01Hey, business is quiet this morning, huh?
09:09Yes, I think everyone is eating.
09:16Are...
09:16My father, I am very afraid for your chastity.
09:30Well, that's the way the world is.
09:33The sweetest rose is very often.
09:36Started too soon.
09:38Brother Bellows.
09:40And I was wondering if you could take it.
09:46Yeah.
09:47The answer is yes.
09:50I will do that.
09:57Brother Bellows!
10:00Doing the Lord's work?
10:04I only administer the extreme unction.
10:08Wilfred, who will be the seventh?
10:13It's very clear.
10:16Jack.
10:19Mad, boastful Jack, the grave robber and murderer of the Old Witch?
10:23No.
10:24Jack the Crazy Animal?
10:27Saturn Colfield's cannibal cattle rustler?
10:31No.
10:32So your man is Jack O'Holligan, the Dingle Bay goat killer.
10:39No.
10:40I don't think it's Jack Smollett, Archdeacon of the Diocese of St. Wotan.
10:45The gut-eating heretic of Bath & Wells.
10:48No.
10:50I'm referring to the evil and violent Jack.
10:54The murderer of priests and cruel rapist of shovels.
10:58Are you sure he's the kind of man we're looking for?
11:07Yeah.
11:10And he comes this way.
11:13Long Jack.
11:14But what the hell are you doing?
11:22Are you with us?
11:24Yeah!
11:24Please!
11:44So that our communion of ideas may be eternal.
11:54Tell me, Jack, what's your nickname?
11:57The long one.
11:58Long Jack.
12:00Ah, well in our band you'll be called Long Jack.
12:05Because?
12:07Well, because you're very short.
12:10So why not Jack the Short?
12:12Why is Long Jack so much funnier?
12:17Oh yeah?
12:19Okay, so Jack the short.
12:23Are you making fun of my height?
12:25No, no, no, no, no, no.
12:27Of course not.
12:28Hey, innkeeper, more beer!
12:30Hurrah!
12:30Yes, long beers and...
12:33Hey?
12:34And another long beer.
12:36Good!
12:37Okay, now let's move on to the plan.
12:40Good!
12:41But first we have to choose a motto.
12:44Yes, yes, yes, yes!
12:45Blessed are the meek.
12:47Good!
12:47Because they will be the ones killed.
12:49Good!
12:51Wait, wait!
12:52And the plan?
12:53That?
12:53The plan?
12:53Forget the plan?
12:55Isn't that the plan?
12:56Go for those docile bastards!
12:58Already!
12:58Yeah!
12:59Calm!
13:02Who wants calm?
13:04I want chaos!
13:06Yeah!
13:07Chaos!
13:08Chaos!
13:09And death!
13:10Yeah!
13:11And flowers!
13:12Lots of flowers!
13:13Yeah!
13:14Flowers!
13:15Yeah!
13:16Crushed mercilessly underfoot!
13:19Silence!
13:21Silence!
13:21Silence!
13:22Silence!
13:22Silence!
13:23Silence!
13:24Let's listen to him.
13:25For God's sake, let's hear the plan.
13:28Yeah!
13:28Yeah!
13:28Yeah!
13:28Yeah!
13:29Very good!
13:30The plan is very simple.
13:31I thought he would be clever.
13:33Down with the plan!
13:34Cunning.
13:35In its simplicity.
13:38Tonight I'm going home.
13:41Let's attack now!
13:42When the iron is red hot!
13:44But the iron is not red hot.
13:46Oh no?
13:46No.
13:47It's here getting warm.
13:49But when it's red,
13:51or we will play!
13:53That?
13:54Do we have to wait for summer to arrive?
13:56Let the iron be red hot!
13:58Let the iron be red hot!
13:59What iron?
14:00Understood.
14:01So we are left like this.
14:02I will send for you.
14:04As?
14:04With a messenger.
14:06A sign.
14:07What sign?
14:08Good.
14:10Probably something black.
14:12Very black.
14:13A blood sausage?
14:14I don't think so.
14:16Hey, so what?
14:18A messenger with the black plague?
14:20That's better now.
14:22So that he can kill us?
14:23No.
14:24Well, no.
14:25A messenger with a lot of hair.
14:27A black man.
14:28Ah!
14:29Ha!
14:30A messenger with a black head.
14:32Ha ha ha!
14:33And when it comes to you,
14:35stop what you are doing
14:36and hurry to old Jasper's tavern.
14:40Ha ha!
14:41I know very well how old Jasper is.
14:43Dead.
14:44As?
14:44I killed him.
14:45Very well done.
14:46Ha ha ha!
14:46Good, good.
14:48And from there, from there I will take you directly to the castle
14:51where we will capture the king,
14:53to the queen and the prince.
14:55Ha ha ha!
14:56And we will tell them, the kingdom of Albion is ours.
15:00Ha ha ha!
15:01You are condemned to live in exile.
15:04Out!
15:06Exile?
15:07Yeah.
15:09Exile!
15:10Forever!
15:11Well, why don't we kill them?
15:17Yes, we could kill them.
15:20Yes, kill them!
15:21Don't remember!
15:23You have to wait for my signal!
15:25If I meet a messenger
15:26with many black heads on the face,
15:28I'll kill him!
15:29And how do we know it's not a trap?
15:32Why does the black viper give you his word?
15:38We want you to give us your word,
15:40not that black viper's.
15:42But I am the black viper.
15:45And when it's all over,
15:50the black seal will reign over England.
15:54Ha ha ha!
15:56Us and only us!
15:58A gang of ruthless bastards!
16:01A!
16:02All for one!
16:04And each one for himself!
16:06You're in a good mood, Milord!
16:14Yes, yes.
16:15Now no one can stop me.
16:17Nobody?
16:18No, nobody.
16:22Except maybe...
16:24No, not even him.
16:26Who are you referring to, My Lord?
16:29Well, there was a guy.
16:32Philip of Burgundy.
16:34Known among his enemies as...
16:38The falcon.
16:39We were mortal rivals.
16:42Although of course, in those days it was known as...
16:46The thrush.
16:48No one has heard from him for years.
16:52Well, let's go.
16:53We have a lot of work.
16:55Not so fast, Edinburgh.
16:58That hawk...
17:00It was more or less...
17:02So.
17:04No, not really.
17:23Oh my God!
17:25It's Philip of Burgundy!
17:26Known to my enemies as...
17:30The falcon!
17:34But...
17:35But your horse...
17:36It used to be brown and big.
17:39Yes, this one.
17:43Good.
17:44I'm so glad to see you...
17:47Felipe.
17:49It hasn't been fast enough.
17:52What do you want from me?
17:53I'll tell you...
17:55After.
18:03I return at the end.
18:04After 15 years.
18:06And what have you been doing all this time?
18:08Wait.
18:09Plot.
18:10Feed my hatred.
18:11And plan my revenge.
18:13You've been very busy.
18:15Yeah.
18:1715 years in France teach a man to hate a lot.
18:2115 years wearing perfume.
18:2315 years eating frogs.
18:2515 years saying...
18:27Paydón!
18:29And all because of you.
18:32But...
18:32And the landscape?
18:33He didn't come out.
18:34I couldn't stand the smell.
18:37And what does all that have to do with me?
18:39Very simple, Edmund.
18:41You're also going to take 15 years...
18:44In dying.
18:4715 years?
18:48Yeah.
18:48As?
18:49I think it will be a lot more fun if you find out for yourself.
18:52But I can tell you in advance that it has something to do with...
18:57The snails.
18:59My God!
19:06Where are you going?
19:07To the castle.
19:08To kill the royal family.
19:10And to claim a throne that does not belong to me.
19:22Dear sir.
19:24What did you do, birds, bees...
19:27And snails too.
19:31Surely.
19:32Help another of your creatures in their despair.
19:37I have been a sinner.
19:38But now I have the firm intention of following the path of the saints.
19:42Especially that of the very religious.
19:47In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
19:50Amen.
19:52Amen.
19:53That?
19:54I said amen.
19:56That?
19:56What's happening?
19:57I said it wrong.
19:58I haven't heard it for over 20 years.
20:00Who are you?
20:02I didn't know you had company.
20:04Oh, company.
20:05I haven't heard that word in a while either.
20:08Oh, I knew it.
20:09I completely forgot that word.
20:11Hey, you're crazy, aren't you?
20:13Yes, very crazy.
20:14Thank you.
20:15Crazy!
20:15I know that word.
20:17I tell myself this every day.
20:18I say to myself, good morning, Gerard, how are you today?
20:21And I answer completely crazy.
20:22Thank you.
20:23So not much changes, right, Gerard?
20:26And I say, no, I'd have to be crazy to expect any, right?
20:28No, but I'm crazy.
20:30I'm crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy.
20:31Shut up!
20:36This may seem like a stupid question to you.
20:39Idiot, yes.
20:40But you won't know if there is a way out by chance.
20:43An exit.
20:43A way out, you say?
21:09I haven't heard the word "exit" in a long, long, long time...
21:16Twenty years.
21:17Yes, yes, twenty years, twenty.
21:20Not as Mr. Mouse.
21:22I'm always saying Mr. Mouse.
21:25That?
21:26Mr. Mouse.
21:28I always say it.
21:29Good morning, Mr. Mouse.
21:30How are you today?
21:32And he answers me.
21:35Bu, bu, bu, bu, bu.
21:39Stop, stop!
21:45No, no, no.
21:47You must not be rude to Mr. Mouse.
21:50He's my best friend.
21:53Yeah.
21:57Here he is and Mrs. Key.
22:00That?
22:01The key lady.
22:02I made it with my own teeth.
22:09Good morning, Mrs. Key.
22:13Good morning.
22:15Close that damn door!
22:21Stop, stop!
22:24Where are you going?
22:26I'll tell him.
22:27Wherever I can sell those six black doves I have back there.
22:31There.
22:32Black?
22:33Black doves?
22:35Yes, almost all of them.
22:36How much are they worth?
22:38Six shillings.
22:39Damn!
22:42Although I guess if I got hit and tied up by that tree, I could get them out for less.
22:48Very good.
22:49Stop, stop!
22:51Ah!
23:21When ten o'clock finally strikes, I will claim the throne.
23:51Gentlemen, to what do I owe this enormous delay?
24:11To me, Burgundy!
24:20Edmund, I didn't expect to see you alive again.
24:23No, the dead don't usually pay courtesy calls, do they?
24:29Prepare to die!
24:31Wait!
24:32Let me say one last thing.
24:35If these men are, as they appear, the six most evil men in the country.
24:40Yes they are.
24:41Come on, that last sentence.
24:43You've chosen a very peculiar leader, don't you think?
24:46Lord Keeper of the Royal Toilets.
24:48What? You think they should have chosen you, blackbird?
24:53A man twisted by unbridled ambition.
24:57A man tortured by insatiable greed.
25:01The most wicked man in the world.
25:05Should they have chosen you?
25:08Yeah!
25:08But he's a murderer!
25:13Hurrah!
25:14He will destroy the kingdom!
25:16Hurrah!
25:17He murdered his own family!
25:19And who doesn't?
25:20I murdered mine.
25:22And I to mine.
25:23And I to yours.
25:24Oh yeah?
25:24Yeah.
25:25Well done, Friar!
25:26Are you with me?
25:28Yeah!
25:29Prepare to die!
25:30To die!
25:31Wait!
25:33I have a much more fun method.
25:37Fun for whom, friend?
25:39Cabañeros!
25:41Oh!
25:42Fantastic!
25:45Exactly, in one minute, the awl will be stuck in your butt.
25:52Good!
25:53The knives will cut your shadow.
25:57Good!
25:57Very good!
25:58Both?
25:59Yeah.
26:01The axes will crush your hands.
26:05I don't think I need to go into detail about the attribute crusher.
26:13And these two little feathers here will tickle whatever's left of your arm.
26:20This is the most fun part.
26:23What's that?
26:27Gentlemen, now we're going to finish off the rest of the royal family.
26:32God save the king!
26:34Because no one else will!
26:37Forward!
26:38Come on!
26:39Yeah!
26:42Stop!
26:42First, we'll relieve these young ladies of their lovely burden and toast our company.
26:49May God guide us!
26:51Over their dead bodies!
26:54It has a certain aftertaste in the background.
27:24Oh, Edmund! Edmund! He's alive!
27:50Father, you called me Edmund.
27:56I'm sorry, Edgar! How are you?
28:00Not very well.
28:03Harry, do you think I have a chance?
28:08Yes, yes.
28:11Will he live?
28:12No, I thought he meant the possibility of going to heaven.
28:18Damned!
28:19Do not be afraid, my son.
28:22You may not be recognized because of how mutilated you are,
28:25but your spirit will live forever.
28:28Milors?
28:30What do you mean?
28:31For you, Edgar!
28:36I told you to put poison in the cups of the murderers,
28:40not in the barrel.
28:42For Edgar!
28:43For Edgar!
28:43For the black sheep!
28:50The black rogue!
28:54May his name last as long as our dynasty!
28:58Oh!
28:59Oh!
28:59Oh!
29:00Oh!
29:00Oh!
29:01Oh!
29:01Oh!
29:01Oh!
29:02Oh!
29:06Oh!
29:11My God.
29:13I wonder if it's the wine.
29:15No, it seems very normal to me.
29:29Finally, I will be king of encla...
29:35So now the wage of sin is preen
29:52The bladest, the blackstead grazes
29:59The only sound across the glade
30:06Is Edmund pushing up the daisies
30:14Blackadder, blackadder
30:21A shame about the plan
30:28Blackadder, blackadder
30:35Thou are your heart
30:41Blackadder, blackadder
30:48Blackadder, blackadder, blackadder
30:55Blackadder, blackadder, blackadder
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