00:09Are we gorgeous or what?
00:11Or what?
00:15Oh, Laura, that eyeshadow is perfect on you.
00:18You can borrow at any time.
00:19No, she can't.
00:20It's fine for dress-up, but not outside of the house.
00:24Harriet, don't be such a prude.
00:26Ain't Harriet's a prude?
00:30Prude.
00:31Although prune sort of fits.
00:41Somebody call 911.
00:43There is about to be a murder.
00:58It's a rare condition, this day and age, to read any good news on the newspaper page.
01:05Love and tradition of the grand design.
01:09Some people say it's even harder to find.
01:13Well, then there must be some magic clue inside these gentle walls.
01:19Cause all I see is a tower of dreams.
01:24Real love bursting after every scene.
01:29Space goes by.
01:32Space goes by.
01:33We're gonna fill our house with happiness.
01:36The moon may cry.
01:39Space goes by.
01:40We'll smother the blues with dead love lips.
01:43Space goes by.
01:46There's room for you, room for me.
01:50For gentle hearts and opportunity.
01:54Space goes by.
01:59Space goes by.
02:00Space goes by.
02:13Space goes by.
02:17Space goes by.
02:17Space goes by.
02:17Space goes by.
02:21Space goes by.
02:23Carl, what happened?
02:24I was out in the backyard minding my own burgers.
02:28When all of a sudden the wind shifts and I get this, this, this, this, this stench from Dr. Urkel's
02:33compost heap.
02:34So I went over to complain.
02:36Carl, you didn't make a scene.
02:37Of course not.
02:39I politely suggested to Dr. Urkel that the stench from his compost heap was unbearable.
02:44He suggested to me that the stench started when I walked in his backyard.
02:51So I told him, oh yeah, well that's big talk coming from a little quack.
02:59And then next thing I know he slam dunked me into the compost heap.
03:04He threw you?
03:06But Carl, Dr. Urkel is a teeny tiny man.
03:13He surprised me.
03:15But still the man's a munchkin.
03:20Leverage, mother.
03:24A whole lot of leverage.
03:28Well anyway, then he came at me with a garden hose.
03:30I had to defend myself, Harriet.
03:32Oh Carl, you hit him.
03:34No.
03:35Millie put out my arm to fend him off and he ran into my fist.
03:39Then he started crying and ran into the house.
03:48You.
03:52You.
03:53You big bullies.
03:56Oh great.
03:57Son of Urkel.
03:59Carl, I love you like a father and my father like a neighbor.
04:05But you have dented my dad.
04:08Therefore I have no choice but to defend our family honor.
04:12It's the toad of the urkels.
04:16Go home, Steve.
04:19I'll leave.
04:21But rest assured, I shall return.
04:26Revenge shall be mine.
04:33And by the way, this is what my dad's nose looks like.
04:55I can't even enjoy a burger in my own back yard.
04:59I'd like to throw some urkels on the barbie.
05:23Call or fold, I ain't got all day.
05:28Three kings.
05:30Hold it.
05:32Full house.
05:34Not so fast.
05:35Four aces.
05:39See you next day, boys.
05:44Listen up, you big galoots.
05:47Presenting a gal who is every cowboy's cutie.
05:51Miss Rachel.
05:53Yay!
06:04Some say I have no morals and lack propriety.
06:12Some say that I'm too fickle, but I need variety.
06:21Back east I was a lady, bored like all the rest.
06:30Now that I have fallen, I'm having fun out here in the wild, wild west.
06:48Oh, they call me Ricochet Rachel.
06:51I bounce from man to man.
06:55They call me Ricochet Rachel.
06:58Catch me if you can.
06:59And when I find one that's true, I'm sticking to one just like Lou.
07:07Till then, won't you be my old cowhead?
07:13Well, I'm proud to be Ricochet Rachel.
07:16Though some people think it's a crime.
07:19I want all you boys to belly up to the bar.
07:24Then, come on and see me sometime.
07:35I want all you boys to fly inside the bar.
07:45And then, go again, go again.
07:45I want all you boys to all know this again,
07:48but I'll be the 예� mode on here now,
07:48other kids to speak online.
07:48I'm so out of here now.
08:03Care for a drink at the school bar?
08:06Don't speak to me, you shameless hussy.
08:10Normally, I wouldn't set foot in the saloon of sin.
08:12But I'm looking for Sheriff Carr.
08:14Oh, honey, your husband's not here.
08:16But, you know, if you gussied up a little, maybe put on a little rouge.
08:21He might come looking for you for a change.
08:25How dare you, you floozy.
08:35Look what you've done.
08:37You've turned my daughters into painted women.
08:45Well, howdy, townsfolk.
08:47Howdy, sir.
08:48I got good news and I got bad news.
08:51The bad news is I just shot a man.
08:53Oh.
08:54Good news is it was Doc Erk.
08:56Oh, my God.
09:04Carl.
09:06Carl, why must you constantly shoot people?
09:09Because I'm the Sheriff.
09:10And killing people is one of the perks.
09:14Well, now, we all know Doc Erk was out of control.
09:17He performed brain surgery at the drop of a Stetson.
09:20That's for sure.
09:21Once I went to him for a hangnail, and instead he gave me a, uh, what do you call him?
09:28A lobotomy.
09:29Right.
09:30Now I got a headache and a hangnail.
09:35You see, I had to shoot Doc Erk for the good of the town.
09:39Well, what if you know who finds out you killed his pop?
09:49Well, he'll come gunning for me, I guess.
09:51You mean, you're going to have to lock horns with...
09:59Yep.
10:01Two-gun Erk.
10:08Roughest, toughest, most annoying gunslinger in the West.
10:15Two-gun Erk's are coming!
10:16Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
10:52All right.
10:54Who's the varmint that killed my pop?
11:00You bunch of weenies!
11:04What do you want here, Two-gun?
11:07Revenge!
11:24Can I do that?
11:26Yes!
11:31Well, it's going to be a lights out for you too, Sheriff.
11:35Say your prayers.
11:36You're about to meet your maker.
11:59Make your moves, Sheriff.
12:02Now, looky here, Two-gun.
12:16I'm right sorry for what happened, Two-gun.
12:19But your pa was a public menace.
12:22Maybe so, but he was my pa.
12:24And you had no call to do what you done.
12:28Well, I done what I did, because it had to be done.
12:32Well, you done did it, and now you got to die.
12:37Are you done?
12:39Yes, indeed it do.
12:43Dang.
12:46Sheriff, you're in a big, smelly heap of trouble.
12:54Please, Two-gun, if you ever had any feelings for me, don't hurt my pa.
12:58Oh, Miss Laura, my tumbling tumbleweed.
13:02I love you, but I got to avenge my pa.
13:05It's the code of the West.
13:08You see?
13:09Right here in Section 2, Paragraph 3, pa-venging.
13:14Now, looky, Two-gun.
13:17I think you better get on your Shetland and ride out of town.
13:23Ha!
13:25Why would the fiercest desperado in the territory
13:28run away from a portly, pusillanimous peace officer?
13:39Don't push me, kid.
13:41You may be fast with those guns, but I'm faster.
13:46Don't make me laugh.
13:50What a stupid snort.
13:53Oh, yeah, you snort.
13:58Yes, sir, Mr. Two-gun, sir.
14:04That needs work.
14:07You know, Two-gun,
14:08the last arm braider thought he was faster than me
14:12is now a boarding house for worms.
14:17Oh, yeah?
14:21Well, bartender,
14:23make like a mallard and dust.
14:36Not bad.
14:37Not bad at all.
14:40Now, watch some real shooting.
14:43Mama, stop!
14:57Well, rootin', sootin', shootin', Sheriff.
15:00But I'm-a calling you out.
15:02Well, I'm-a gonna be here tomorrow, high noon.
15:11Yeah, but in the meantime,
15:13let's form a posse and track down that dang orchestra.
15:16Yeah.
15:28But, Carl,
15:29why must you show up?
15:31You gotta show down.
15:33Because it's my job, Harriet.
15:35I'm sworn to uphold the laws of the West.
15:38Well, then, why can't the West have simpler laws,
15:40like no smoking in elevators?
15:45What's an elevator?
15:48It's a real fast way to get upstairs.
15:51Oh.
15:51For me, it's cash.
16:23Well, I guess that lily-livered Urkel didn't show up.
16:27I guess the only thing he can shoot off is his mouth.
16:29Yeah!
16:36Sorry I'm late.
16:37There was a long line in the little cowpokes room.
16:42Are you ready?
16:44I'm-a ready.
17:03All right, Tugan.
17:05Let's slap leather.
17:07Gotcha!
17:27Oh, boy.
17:34Oh, boy.
18:03I'm falling, and I can't get up.
18:13Hold on there, Tugan.
18:15I'll go get Doc Urkel.
18:17Oh, yeah.
18:19I killed him yesterday.
18:20Oh.
18:22It's been a bad week for the Urkels.
18:28Oh.
18:29It's all getting darker.
18:31There's my paw.
18:34There's my paw.
18:34I'm-a coming, paw.
18:36Wait.
18:37He's running away.
18:41So long, everybody.
18:45It's time for me to die.
18:48What?
18:49Oh.
18:52What?
18:56What is it, Tugan?
18:58Oh, Laura.
19:00Will you grant a dying man's last request?
19:04Give me a kiss to send me to heaven.
19:17Oh, thanks, my pet.
19:20The angels I'm about to see won't compare to the angel that I'm leaving behind.
19:30Sheriff?
19:34Now, look-a here, Tugan.
19:36This here is your last goodbye.
19:39Okay.
19:40I just want you to know that I don't hold a grudge.
19:44Even though I'm a dastardly desperado and you're a goody-two-boots,
19:50I admire and respect you.
19:54In fact, big guy, I love you.
19:58Oh.
20:00Oh, Tugan.
20:01I'm sorry, little fella.
20:03How did it come to this?
20:05I love all you go-darned Winslows.
20:09Oh, vaya con dios.
20:15Adios, amigos.
20:18Huevos rangeros.
20:23Oh.
20:30Oh.
20:31Oh.
20:34Well, I...
20:35I'm sorry.
20:37I...
20:37I'm sorry.
20:39Wait-a-go call.
20:43Sorry.
20:47What happened?
20:50But I'm sorry.
20:53I'm sorry.
20:55I...
20:55Hey, I'm sorry.
20:59I'm sorry.
21:02I'm sorry.
21:05I'm sorry.
21:21I'm sorry.
21:30I'm sorry.
21:36I'm sorry.
21:37Steve, calm down.
21:39Calm down, Steve!
21:41We are not gonna fight, okay?
21:44Fighting got us into this mess.
21:45As a matter of fact, I'm going over to your house now and apologize to your father.
21:50You are?
21:51Mm-hmm.
21:54I must be more threatening than I thought.
21:58Well, you are a scary sight.
22:01But I shouldn't have kicked you out of the house, and I'm sorry I yelled at you.
22:05So that means I'm welcome at the Winslows?
22:08Well, I don't know about welcome, but you'll be, uh, well, you, you, uh, you'll be tolerated.
22:15Thanks, big guy.
22:24Where is that music coming from?
22:50I don't know.
22:51I don't know.
22:54I don't know.
22:58I don't know.
23:01I don't know.
23:04I don't know.
23:05I don't know.
23:06I don't know.
23:06I don't know.
23:06I don't know.
23:07I don't know.
23:08I don't know.
23:09I don't know.
23:10I don't know.
23:10I don't know.
23:11I don't know.
23:11I don't know.
23:12I don't know.
23:13I don't know.
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