- hace 4 meses
Lord Blackadder y Lord Melchett son secuestrados por el príncipe alemán Ludwig el Indestructible.
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00:00The Black Adder 2
00:30Chains
00:32Get out of here! Get out of here, you lecherous swine!
00:37And take with you that unworthy whore painted like a parrot
00:40May you both rot in the filth of your own fornication.
00:44And what did you tell him?
00:47Tell him?
00:48Nothing, ma'am, I just pulled up my pants and jumped out the window.
00:52Oh, Edmund, you are a naughty boy!
00:56That's what I'm trying to do, ma'am.
00:57When I catch my breath, I try again.
01:00And now, madam, we can return to more important matters of state.
01:06What do we have to do?
01:07I'm afraid so, ma'am, it's a tragedy.
01:09The son of my old tutor, Lord Forrester, has been kidnapped
01:12And he begs you to help him pay the ransom.
01:14Edmund, what do you think?
01:17Well, as you know, madam, I have experience in this terrible situation.
01:21Last year, my aunt came to ask me for help in rescuing Uncle Boric, the boring one.
01:25So you know how painful the situation is.
01:29Yes, I know, and I can't suggest a better answer than the one I gave my aunt.
01:33What was it?
01:35Fuck you
01:35But how can you joke about the life of a young man?
01:39Instead of young, say idiot
01:41Anyone stupid enough to let some idiot with a mustache walk up to them in a hallway and say
01:47Excuse me, sir, and hit your head with a club.
01:50He deserves everything that happens to him.
01:52Bye
01:55You are in a very good mood today, my Lord.
01:58Thanks, Baldrick
01:59The other day I also heard a very funny story
02:02Glad to hear it
02:04Excuse me, sir.
02:10Yes, what's up?
02:14I said what's up, don't hit me in the head with...
02:17You know, Melchid?
02:21I've changed my mind about that son of Forrest.
02:23It's clear he's an idiot
02:25But we can't go around punishing people for that, can we?
02:29Of course not
02:30If we punished people for being stupid
02:32The wet nurse would have spent her entire life in prison.
02:35A very apt observation, Your Majesty.
02:38Okay, I'll sign the ransom.
02:40But it will be the last
02:42I don't want any more bailouts.
02:44Well, it's over.
02:46Never ever
02:48I swear on myself, if not, I'll die.
02:51No, madam, don't die, your majesty.
02:54Yeah
02:54I'll cross that out.
02:56Here, and sorry for the blur.
03:01Thank you for everything, ma'am.
03:03Excuse me, sir.
03:06Yeah
03:07My God, my God
03:15What the hell did I drink last night?
03:18My head hurts like a Frenchman lives inside me.
03:21My God, where am I?
03:26Who is it?
03:28Who is it?
03:29I am Melchid
03:30Melchid
03:32The truth is that you should clean your house a little more.
03:35It's a real powerhouse
03:36This is no time for jokes, Blackadder.
03:38We have been kidnapped
03:39My God, this should happen to me.
03:43What a shame
03:44We are like the private parts of the gods
03:48They're just having fun with us
03:50My God, who is that?
03:55Preparate per interrogare
03:57Suplici
03:57Just a moment, just a moment
04:00If you need to talk to someone, it'll be me, okay?
04:02Decide
04:03Immediately
04:03Talk to Luis
04:05With Luis
04:05Luis the boss
04:06Va bene, the boss
04:09Preparate per interrogare
04:11Suplici
04:12Now
04:13But what does it say?
04:17Ah, he says he wants to talk to you
04:20Oh, anything else?
04:22Ah, yes
04:23That he would like to torture you
04:25Tell me
04:27Am I speaking to a dignitary of the Spanish Inquisition?
04:32You will like the Inquisition too much.
04:35Okay
04:36Because if so, I want it to be very clear.
04:38That I am prepared to say absolutely nothing at all.
04:42Pues non parlare, porco
04:45Stupid, I don't speak
04:50I demand to see the English ambassador right now, understood?
04:56Keep silence to begin
04:58Oh my God, hey
05:00How are you going to interrogate me if you don't speak any of my language, English?
05:04No
05:05Me taking the questions
05:07Okay, let's start from the beginning.
05:10English is an uninflected Indo-European language
05:15Derived from dialects
05:17I won!
05:21Persy?
05:22Yeah?
05:22Who is the queen?
05:25Oh, butterfingers
05:27So I won again
05:30Yes, very well, Your Majesty
05:32Still no sign of Edmund?
05:35I'm afraid not.
05:37So it has disappeared
05:39Missing?
05:41Like an oak table
05:43Percy
05:47Missing or you don't know?
05:52Excuse me, ma'am.
05:53But my uncle's old oak table is completely gone.
05:57It was the night of the great fire of St. Stephen's Day.
05:59And that terrible night all
06:02All their houses and all their possessions disappeared too.
06:05And he too, of course.
06:08It was a mysteriously mysterious mystery
06:11Lord Percy
06:13Yeah?
06:14It's up to you
06:15Or you shut up
06:18Or I'll cut off your head
06:20I will keep quiet
06:34Batard
06:34Batard
06:36Bastard?
06:37Batard
06:38Lawyer
06:40Batard
06:42Embarrassing
06:43You are embarrassing
06:44You are embarrassing
06:46I am pregnant
06:48Pregnant
06:51Baby
06:53Baby
06:54Bathtub
06:56Sounds like a bastard
06:59Bastard
07:00Good
07:01Not yet finite
07:03Son
07:05Son
07:06Son
07:07Bun?
07:11The father
07:12Very big
07:13Son
07:14Little
07:14Very big
07:16Little
07:17I already have it
07:18I already have it
07:19Son
07:19That's son
07:20Of a bitch
07:22I am a son
07:24Barking bastard
07:26I am a son
07:28Barking bastard
07:29No
07:31Bitch
07:32Bitch
07:32Bitch
07:33Women
07:34Women
07:35Bitch
07:35Bitch
07:36Women
07:36Bitch
07:37Bitch
07:37I'm a bastard
07:38Son
07:38Of a whore
07:39Well
07:46Then
07:47You are a fucking asshole
07:48Do you eat?
07:54My God
07:55You
07:56You
07:57You
07:57You
07:57You
07:58Fucking
08:00I can't do it
08:02Inside the box
08:03You
08:06Cough
08:06Testiculi
08:08Yeah
08:08Yeah
08:09Yeah
08:09Yeah
08:09Yeah
08:10Yeah
08:10That
08:11About a
08:13Big
08:14Fire
08:15About what?
08:16Fire
08:16Fire
08:17Fire
08:18Fire
08:19Fire
08:20Fire
08:21Fire
08:21If I admit that I am in love with Satan and his...
08:24No
08:25No
08:25I'm sorry
08:27I'm sorry
08:27If I admit that I am in love with Satan and his little witches
08:33Then you will tear off my testicles with a sharp instrument.
08:37A falche! A falche!
08:40It looks like some kind of gardening tool but we don't know which one.
08:44And he will roast them over a great fire
08:46Yes, yes
08:47While if I don't admit that I'm in love with Satan and his little witches
08:54Then you will put me upside down in a jar full of delicious jam.
08:59Huh? Huh?
09:03Then you will remove my balls with a sharp instrument resembling a tool.
09:08And roast them over a fire
09:10I understand well, in that case I love Satan
09:12Ah, it's a scythe!
09:22I have looked for you everywhere
09:24Perhaps, madam, they are not...
09:33Hidden
09:34Maybe, maybe they've been kidnapped
09:38Foolishness!
09:40As Edmund said, only idiots get kidnapped.
09:44So!
09:45No!
09:47Yep!
09:48Sorry, Gerblakader
09:54I have neglected my duties as a host
09:58Please accept my apologies.
10:02I don't accept anything from a man who locks his guests in a box.
10:09I hope this garbage
10:14It didn't bother you too much.
10:17It only takes a maniac trying to cut off my balls to piss me off.
10:22Perfect
10:25Because if it had bothered you, he would offer you his tongue
10:29Believe me, my friend, if it had really bothered me
10:32You wouldn't have a tongue to make me such an offer.
10:35Well let me assure you, Gerblakader
10:39That if I did not have a tongue with which to make you such an offer
10:42Now you wouldn't have a tongue to tell me if I had bothered you
10:47I wouldn't have a tongue with which to offer you his tongue
10:51Well, that's enough of languages.
10:54Who the hell are you sausage face?
10:59You don't remember me, do you, Blakader?
11:02I have not had the pleasure
11:03On the contrary, we have seen each other many times
11:06Although, of course, you knew me by another name
11:08Do you remember a mysterious young merchant and smuggler?
11:13Named Otto, with whom you used to dine, plot, and play the cookie game.
11:17In a tavern in the city of Dover?
11:19Do you remember?
11:21Oh my God, was that you?
11:22No, I was the waitress who served you.
11:25I can't believe it
11:29Are you Fat Sally?
11:31Who has another piece of pork, my Lord?
11:36But I slept with you, right?
11:40For my country I am willing to make any sacrifice
11:44But not me, I must have been blind
11:47Paralytic, lazy man
11:51Yeah, okay, you're very funny.
11:54Well, about that...
11:56What a heartbreak for a girl!
11:58Enough, you've mocked enough.
12:00Actually, we'll try again in a few minutes.
12:03Take a look at these scrolls
12:06Ah yes, we are proud of our servant whore voice, aren't we?
12:10Just because we say my Lord instead of sir
12:13Essential in social gatherings
12:15This boring shit has fun making little voices
12:18Be quiet!
12:18What else do you have in your incredibly inventive repertoire?
12:22Ah, I would like to know.
12:24A drunken Scotsman, a funny black man who tells you
12:26See you later, Jimmy!
12:28Where is that melon with warts?
12:31Fantastic!
12:32I'm dying to see your thief who spits sideways
12:34And that funny character who is no one in particular
12:37But what's so funny?
12:39And above all, I like what you do all the time.
12:41The German one I have in front of me now
12:44You talk too much, Blackadder
12:49I think what you have is a chronic case of verbal diarrhea.
12:52Perhaps I should tell you that I have given the queen a week
12:57To answer my ransom demand
12:59And if you refuse to pay, you will die horribly.
13:03Will pay
13:04And a week later, you will die twice
13:07Horribly
13:08You think you're so funny, Blackadder.
13:11I try not to clash with public opinion
13:13You know what I think?
13:15I think in a week you'll feel less like telling jokes.
13:18At least when I want to be, I'm funny.
13:21So choose your joke very carefully.
13:23It may be the last
13:25Guards! Your friend!
13:27Ainth White! Ainth White! Ainth White! Ainth White! Ainth White! Ainth White!
13:34Ah!
13:36We meet again, Lord Melchette
13:38I don't think I've had the pleasure
13:40You don't recognize me.
13:42No
13:43Let me refresh your memory
13:46Do you remember when you were in Cornwall?
13:49In that monastery there was a pastor with whom you used to talk
13:52My God, Timkins
13:53Yes, I was one of his goats
13:56One of his goats, you say?
14:00You?
14:00Yeah
14:00Are you Flossy?
14:01Yeah
14:01But you and I...
14:03Yes, Lord Melchette
14:04Oh my God
14:09But that's enough, pleasant memories
14:14We have found a very interesting document among your clothes.
14:18Ah, I wouldn't pay much attention to it if I were you.
14:21The queen says she will only pay a ransom
14:25The last one, I don't want any more bailouts
14:27Well, it's over.
14:29Never ever, I swear to myself
14:31And if not, let me die, let me die and let me die.
14:34You have a difficult choice, don't you?
14:38I don't think so
14:39Bad luck, Melchette
14:41It's life and sometimes it's very cruel
14:43Gentlemen, if you will forgive me
14:45I have a lot of work to do
14:47Evil plans don't just happen, you know?
14:53He's crazy
14:54Dear queen
14:57I, the evil Prince Ludwin, the indestructible
15:02I have your two friends
15:04And you have to choose between the two of them.
15:08The ransom is one million crowns.
15:11I apologize a thousand times for any inconvenience caused.
15:17Oh my God, what a difficult choice
15:20It's not the first difficult choice in your life, Tadpole.
15:23Yes, that's true.
15:24In the old days, everything was about difficult choices.
15:27Do you want wet nurse's milk or cow's milk?
15:30Of course, she was always a wet nurse.
15:32And then, do you want it from the left breast or the right breast?
15:36Of course, it was always both of us.
15:38But which one to choose first?
15:41Shut up, nurse!
15:43Oh my God!
15:46I'm very confused
15:47Hey, Percy!
15:50Sing a little to calm my spirit
15:52Right away, madam
15:55Passing by a cafe, tin, tin
16:01A queen pulled my ponytail, tin, tin
16:03And then I fell
16:04How about we sing a song to keep our spirits high?
16:11It depends on whether you want the bucket of excrement on your head or not.
16:14How about some wordplay, huh?
16:19OK
16:19Make a sentence with these words
16:22Face
16:23Donkey
16:24You
16:25Shut up
16:26For God's sake, friend
16:30You don't understand
16:31We have to do something to ease our minds of the terrible fate that awaits us.
16:36Are you waiting for us, Melchie?
16:38Not me
16:38How bad is my beard?
16:41I'll never see my sweet, beloved England again.
16:45Its rolling meadows
16:47His swallows
16:48And his playful goats
16:50It was about time, finally
16:55Gentlemen
16:56The answer has arrived
16:58Oh, thank God
16:59This place makes me sick
17:01It is in terrible condition
17:02It's like being in jail
17:04Now I will read it to you.
17:06A typical master criminal lowers his voice
17:10After a long deliberation
17:13The queen has decided to spend the ransom money on a...
17:17Great party
17:18As I find it completely impossible to decide between the two
17:25I decided to keep the money.
17:28Have a great time and forget about you
17:32It will be a party in your memory
17:35I hope you don't get offended
17:38Bye
17:41Party?
17:44I hope you don't get offended
17:46Bye
17:47Well
17:49As you can imagine
17:50This makes me very unhappy.
17:52I'm really sorry
17:53But if you told me the way to, let's say
17:57Arrive
17:58Access your queen
18:00I could change the sentence to life imprisonment.
18:03Do you accept?
18:04Oh, are you suggesting we betray her?
18:08Of course
18:10OK
18:12What do you say?
18:14And loyalty, honor, self-esteem, eh?
18:17What's wrong with them?
18:19No, nothing
18:20I understand that you are both going to collaborate.
18:24Uh, yeah
18:24It's a pleasure
18:29Watching you drop your pants in front of me
18:32Great incorruptible English gentlemen
18:34So proud of your loyalty to the crown
18:37Gloating over the misfortune of the enemy is a sign of weakness
18:40Do you want to reach the queen or not, Ludwin?
18:43Yeah
18:43And I had thought of a kind of costume
18:45I play Maria very well.
18:47Queen of Scotland
18:48Hey, hey
18:50Why don't you listen to me?
18:55And what kind of party could it be?
18:58Hey, a costume party.
19:01I love those parties
19:02Nurse?
19:05In my opinion
19:06It should be one of those
19:08Where people arrive with nothing at all
19:11Shut up, nurse
19:13I agree with you, Lord Percy.
19:16If we have to forget our sorrows soon
19:19We have to have as much fun as possible
19:21And what's more fun than a party?
19:23Where people come dressed as frogs, rabbits, wetsuits and stuff like that?
19:28And of splinter?
19:30You will not come disguised as a splinter
19:33Oh no?
19:34No
19:34And what about pencil?
19:37Can I go as a pencil?
19:38Don't play dumb now.
19:41Every time the same story
19:42And in the end you always come disguised as the same thing
19:45Oh yeah?
19:45Yes, and you know perfectly well that it does.
19:47Lassie?
19:51What do you always dress up as, my nurse, at costume parties?
19:55Everyone knows it
19:56Yes, and it seems everyone knows it except her.
19:59Tell him
19:59He always dresses up as a cow
20:01Oh, that's right!
20:05A fat cow with round, beautiful breasts
20:08What is he saying?
20:10Ooooh!
20:12Come to the suckler cow!
20:13My little calves!
20:15Oh, how exciting!
20:17Yes, yes, I want to dress up as a cow.
20:19Shut up, nurse!
20:20Isn't she a little silly?
20:22It certainly is.
20:23Do you see it?
20:28We are already having a great time
20:30And we've completely forgotten about those two in jail, haven't we?
20:41Which two?
20:42Friends, I come to say goodbye to you.
20:54These guards will die of old age, but their children will continue to attend to your needs.
20:59Thank you, but we intend to escape.
21:03For your information, gentlemen, I intend to overthrow your queen.
21:07The master of disguise will soon become the master of the world
21:11One thing, Ludvina, before you go
21:15Tell me
21:15Were you treated badly at school?
21:20What are you saying?
21:21Ah, all those delusions of power
21:23There must be some reason
21:24Foolishness!
21:27At my nice school, having oily hair and spots on your face was a sign of maturity.
21:31I was afraid of it
21:32I'm sure your mom made you wear shorts until your senior year.
21:36Shut up! Shut up!
21:39When I am King of England
21:41No one will ever dare call me a greasy pimple face! Never again!
21:47I think I've hit his soft spot.
21:49But what good is that to us if we are condemned to rot here until we die?
21:54Calm down, I have a plan.
21:55Really?
21:56Yes, now that Ludvina is gone, we won't have any problems reducing the guards.
22:00Germans are like machines
22:02I have observed all your rounds
22:04I have selected the time when they are most vulnerable
22:06And then, only then, can we attack
22:09Great, how?
22:10That's the best of all, Meshjet
22:13Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe!
22:19The time has come, don't forget what I told you.
22:21The more vulnerable they are
22:23Aim Swipe! Get the key out!
22:26Open the door!
22:28Greet the prisoners!
22:29Come here, you fucking prisoners!
22:35Waving to the English prisoners
22:39March to the table
22:41Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe!
22:49Food on the table! Aim Swipe!
22:52Spit in your food Aim Swipe!
22:56Make an insulting farewell posture
23:00Aim Swipe! Aim Swipe!
23:02Now!
23:04The leperador who has it hard!
23:15Aaah! Decapitable!
23:20Lady!
23:22Your costume is great
23:24Your father has been born again
23:25Let's hope not.
23:27Or I would no longer be a queen.
23:29Yours isn't bad either.
23:31What is it?
23:34Nothing, ma'am.
23:35Just a few...
23:36Nonsense I've put on myself
23:38I don't think it's nonsense.
23:41It looks like a feather duster
23:44This time the nurse has outdone herself
23:48Yes it's true
23:52I'm not so sure about this one.
23:56What are you supposed to be?
23:59A box of pencils?
24:05Oh yes!
24:07It's like the parties we had when I was little.
24:11We had tea, cakes, deer
24:14And then we went to the executioner's house with a couple of friends
24:18What fun!
24:19Clear
24:20We went there when he wanted to execute them
24:22Edmund should be here
24:26He loved parties
24:29And she always, always wore very tight stockings.
24:33Which Edmund?
24:38Edmund Blackadder!
24:39Didn't you like it?
24:39Have I ever missed a party?
24:45But what about Lord Melchid?
24:47Unfortunately he too has escaped.
24:50Madam, I'm back.
24:52I feel immeasurable joy
24:54I can't count my happiness on my fingers.
24:57Oh, ma'am
24:58What's happening?
25:06Nothing
25:06Well
25:09Apart from the fact that my little nose is much prettier now
25:13Nothing has changed here.
25:15Your dog is not yet housebroken
25:18Your friend is still unemployed and the nanny is still the same as always.
25:22Oh yeah, thanks for reminding me.
25:27Norsi!
25:30You've killed the wet nurse!
25:31It's horrible!
25:32Guards, take him away and execute him!
25:35He has killed the nurse!
25:38Can anyone help me with my boobs?
25:41Norsi!
25:42Yes, and may I introduce you to our kidnapper.
25:46Prince Ludwin the Indestructible!
25:49Queen Elizabeth, we meet again
25:54Do we know each other?
25:57Yeah
25:57Do you remember when you were very young?
26:01That your father used to take you riding on a magnificent grey pony that you used to kiss and stroke in the stable?
26:08Ah, yes
26:09I...
26:10I was that German stable boy who held your pony
26:15No
26:16Yeah
26:17You?
26:18Greasy pimple face?
26:20No!
26:21No, no, no!
26:24Someday you'll all regret making fun of my skin!
26:28I swear I'll come back and get revenge on you all!
26:33No!
26:34Never!
26:35Ah!
26:35Dead!
26:39What a strange man?
26:42How did you know it was him?
26:44That was the information with which we bought our lives
26:47We told her that if the queen held a party, the nurse would dress up as a cow.
26:53And so he was condemned
26:55All that was left was to escape, return and kill the cow.
26:59But how could he know that she wasn't the wet nurse?
27:02Because, madam, Ludvín was a master of disguises.
27:05While the nurse is a doting old woman obsessed with tits
27:10I just had to kill the costume that looked most like a cow.
27:15That was the mistake Ludvín would make, his disguise was too good
27:22You're great, Edmund!
27:24Welcome!
27:25I'm glad to be back
27:27Welcome, my lord!
27:29Have you missed me?
27:32The truth is yes
27:33I have often said to myself
27:35I wish Percy was here.
27:37And they will torture him in my place
27:40We have missed your wit
27:44And have you missed me?
27:48Baldrick, right?
27:49Exact
27:50Not really.
27:52And me?
27:55Have you missed me?
27:58Lady
27:58Life without you was like a broken pencil
28:03Explain yourself
28:05Without tip
28:07Life without you was like a broken pencil
28:09Beware all he who lusts for fame
28:13The path of life is most uncertain
28:16Prince Ludwig thought he'd won the game
28:20But now the crowd's run for a burden
28:23Blackadder, Blackadder
28:27He beats the Hun by luck
28:30Blackadder, Blackadder
28:33He's smarter than a duck
28:37Lord Melchit, Lord Melchit
28:41Intelligent and deep
28:44Lord Melchit, Lord Melchit
28:48A shame about the sheep
28:51I'm going to have a good time with this costume.
29:11If I can adjust the tone of voice
29:14Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:15Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:16Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:17Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:18Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:19Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:20Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:21Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:22Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:23Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:24Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:25Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:26Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:27Life without you was like a broken pencil
29:28Life without you was like a broken pencil
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