- hace 4 meses
Lord Dougal McAngus recibe las tierras escocesas de Edmund, como recompensa por su valentía en la batalla. Como venganza, Edmund planea asesinarlo durante unos festejos en honor al Rey, que regresa de la Cruzadas.
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00:00In 1486, the second year of the historic reign of Richard IV,
00:07and also the year in which the egg replaced the worm as the lowest form of commercial exchange,
00:12King Richard left England to fight in the crusade against the Turks.
00:18And the Lord said, love your neighbor as yourself, unless he is a Turk, and if he is, kill that dog.
00:25She left behind her beloved son, Prince Harry, to rule as regent in her place.
00:32Goodbye, dear Harry.
00:34Goodbye, dear father.
00:36And his infamous son Edmund to do the jobs that suited him best.
00:41Edmund?
00:44Smile.
00:55My lord, now that the king is gone...
01:03Yes of course.
01:06Finally a chance to seize power.
01:10The black viper.
01:19The black viper.
01:40Born to be king.
01:52Come on, walk towards the pig.
01:54Twelve months later.
01:55I want you to be at its gates by sunset, or you will all die.
01:59Forward!
02:01Come on, come on.
02:03I've had enough of you filthy sheep.
02:06Walk, walk!
02:08Be quiet!
02:09Come here!
02:14Where the hell do you think you're going?
02:16Where are you going!
02:18No, no, don't leave the castle!
02:20Walk towards him!
02:21Come on, obey!
02:24Gorgeous!
02:26Gorgeous!
02:27No no!
02:29It's only up to here!
02:30Out!
02:34If I could just get my hands on that bastard brother of mine.
02:39Ah, Edmund!
02:44Edmund!
02:47Good!
02:47You are here!
02:49Great news!
02:50Edmund Sr. returns home.
02:52He wrote to me and said he'll be back on St. Leonard's Day.
02:55Marvelous!
02:55So we will celebrate both events together.
02:58Listen.
03:00I will be in charge of organizing the royal visit with the honor guard and the papal gift.
03:06And you can...
03:07You can organize the celebrations.
03:09The celebrations?
03:10Yes, the Moorish dances, the eunuchs and the bearded women.
03:15That's traditional on St. Leonard's Day.
03:18Oh, damn.
03:19I don't think I'll have much time to take care of the sewers.
03:23Edmund, you'll take care of that too.
03:25Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes.
03:26Very good.
03:27Yes of course.
03:28It will be, it will be an honor.
03:29Good.
03:30You won't let me down, will you?
03:31No, no, no, no, no, no way.
03:33The truth is that I'm already looking forward to starting.
03:35Thank you for trusting me.
03:37Splendid!
03:41Twelve months of herding and dusting off royal portraits.
03:47And now this.
03:48The bastard!
03:51Bastard!
03:53What if it really was, my Lord?
03:57That?
03:57If he were really a bastard, you would be the regent.
04:03Yeah!
04:04And someday?
04:06You would be king, my Lord.
04:08Yeah!
04:10Yes, you would be king!
04:12And then?
04:15You would rule the world, my Lord.
04:18Exactly!
04:19But it's not fair, you know?
04:21Every living thing in the castle has bastard children.
04:24But not my mother, not my mother.
04:26She is so pure that she doesn't even dare to look down in case she sees her own breasts.
04:32You must be impatient for the king's return, Your Majesty.
04:37No.
04:39No, my Lady.
04:40Think about it carefully.
04:41He will go to your chambers and make love to you madly and passionately.
04:45Yes, and I wish he didn't.
04:49It's very difficult to sleep with all that movement in the bed.
04:54Using you all night long like a sausage casing.
04:58Well, it's the same.
04:59Plus, the celebrations of St. Leonard's Day are approaching, with jesters, jugglers...
05:05And the bull that spends the night snorting and panting.
05:10That's it! The party!
05:13As?
05:14No, no. I was thinking about something else.
05:17I hope the Moorish Dancers come this year. I love them!
05:21Yeah.
05:23And to me, the eunuchs.
05:25Ah, yes! The eunuchs!
05:29Oh!
05:30I would like to have one.
05:32And me, having married one.
05:34No! Yes, yes!
05:36It could have happened to anyone.
05:38No problem.
05:39Nothing.
05:40Nothing.
05:42Oh my God! I can't believe it.
05:44We only have one number and the lady goes and shaves her beard.
05:48Can we call the eunuchs?
05:50Of course!
05:51The eunuchs and that incredible beardless woman.
05:54Yeah!
05:55Persi! There has to be something else!
05:57Yes, Milor.
05:58Look!
05:58There are also the jumping Jews of Jerusalem.
06:01And what do they do?
06:03They jump, Milor.
06:04That?
06:05They come out on stage and jump.
06:08Very high.
06:09It's a comedy number.
06:10No, no, no. There must be something else, for sure.
06:13Let's see, what is this?
06:15The death of the pharaoh.
06:17Sir Dominic Pene and his magnificent street jesters perform the masterpiece of ancient Egyptian tragedies.
06:26Maybe it's fun.
06:27No, no, no, no. I just found it very moving, Milor.
06:30This better be fun. Pene will get what he deserves. Hire him!
06:33And what about Jerry Meriwether and his four chickens?
06:37And what do they do? Lay eggs?
06:39Yes, Milor.
06:41Well, it's all the same. Let them come, let them come.
06:47My lord?
06:47What's up, Milor?
06:59The inucos are frozen.
07:02Oh, mother.
07:04I knew it. You can't trust them.
07:06And now what do we do?
07:08I know what I'm going to do, Baldrick. An execution order.
07:11I will teach you a lesson you will never forget.
07:14I'm going to order that whatever remains of your private parts be removed.
07:20My lord.
07:21Take this to the chancellor.
07:23Oh God! I'm desperate, desperate.
07:27Can we always bring the Moorish dances?
07:30Hey, I'm not that desperate.
07:33The Moorish dance is the most fatuous and lousy spectacle ever invented by man.
07:39Forty murdered blacksmiths waving pieces of cloth with which they wipe their noses.
07:44I'll never understand how it still works.
07:48My dear, I'm sorry, but do you want them or not?
07:56Ah, Edmund!
08:01Rest!
08:03Splendid. And how are the other shows going?
08:05Ah, very good, very good, indeed!
08:09Although I think they will have a certain Spartan air.
08:13What? Greek?
08:14Uh, yeah, that's it. A Greek feel, yes.
08:18Perfect. Is everyone coming?
08:20Absolutely everyone.
08:22In fact, there will be so many people that I'm afraid we'll have to do without the eunuchs.
08:26Oh! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
08:29No?
08:30No! That's impossible!
08:31Impossible. And especially on St. Leonard's Day, because, well, correct me if I'm wrong, Lord Percy, but St. Leonard was a eunuch.
08:40Yes it's true.
08:48Exactly! And that's why I thought it would be much more discreet, yes.
08:52No, no, no, no. To do without eunuchs on St. Leonard's Day would be...
08:56Well, it would be like doing without the Moorish dances and the bearded woman.
09:01Yeah.
09:02And what's more, Lord Dugal Macangus, the king's supreme commander, will be coming to the party.
09:08And as you know, eunuchs are his favorite show.
09:13He's Scottish, you know.
09:17Fine, fine. Well, I'll leave it all in your hands.
09:20Continuous.
09:25So, a carrot-faced Scottish orangutan with bristles on his butt likes eunuchs, huh?
09:33They say he is a great warrior.
09:35Yes, that's what they say. But those Scots are barbarians. Half of them don't speak English.
09:40And what do they talk about?
09:41I don't know. It sounds Greek to me.
09:43So it will be Greek?
09:45No, I mean it sounds Greek to me.
09:48If it sounds Greek, it probably is Greek.
09:50It's not Greek.
09:52But it sounds like Greek.
09:56It's not Greek, but it sounds like Greek.
09:58Good guess, Milor.
10:00But it's not a riddle, Percy.
10:02I was just telling you that I don't understand a single word of what you're saying.
10:06I'm not surprised, Milor. You've never studied Greek.
10:08Percy, have you ever wondered what your insides look like?
10:15Sometimes, Milor.
10:17Well, I wouldn't mind satisfying your curiosity at all, you know what I mean?
10:21I... Oh, God! This Scotsman is starting to bother me.
10:25I am the Duke of Edinburgh.
10:27And Mr. Ross, Bursel, Kiki Peebles.
10:30I could make it difficult for him.
10:31Yes. As for the shows, I don't know.
10:35Valde, you have a beard. Go find yourself a dress.
10:40Perfect, Milor.
10:40Percy, you go get Bernard, the bear hunter.
10:44Yes, Milor.
10:45I think we'll need him. And Percy?
10:47Yes, Milor.
10:49Let him bring a real bear this time.
10:51Yes, Milor.
10:52Last year's improvisation was pathetic.
10:58Well, here's to Father's return.
11:01Damn! Who is it?
11:06It must be an envoy from your father.
11:16Noble Harry, Prince of Wales,
11:19Dougal Macambus greets you and leaves at your feet the spoils of the enemy in war.
11:25Sorry, that's my toiletries bag.
11:28And here admire the treasures taken from the Turks.
11:32Oh, Macambus! You fill me with joy and hope less.
11:36And what good news do you bring from my father, the king?
11:39When I saw him, he swore he'd be back by St. Leonard's Day or die trying.
11:43God willing. We pray for a safe journey.
11:46Sit down! You must be hungry.
11:49And young Lognivar?
11:50Yes, let him come too.
11:51Come here, Lognivar!
11:53You must be the king's bunny, huh?
12:04I am the queen.
12:05Yes, that's it. I have a message for you.
12:07My father asked me to give you his regards.
12:10Do I know him?
12:12You could say so.
12:13This is Donald Macambus, third Duke of Archil.
12:16Ah, Edmund! You're here.
12:21In Macambus, this is the man who will provide us with fun tomorrow.
12:25Ah, the eunuch!
12:28Here, a tip for the inconvenience.
12:33I am not a eunuch.
12:35Well, you look like one.
12:37I'm not a eunuch. I'm the Duke of Edinburgh.
12:40Yes, really?
12:42Yeah!
12:43Same old same old.
12:44Duke of Edinburgh and as Scottish as the Queen's tits.
12:49Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.
12:51Sorry, but that's my chair.
12:54Don't apologize.
12:58Well, now that we all know each other,
13:01I have a very special statement to make.
13:04You will not be so good a eunuch?
13:06Macambus, as a reward for your heroic deeds in battle,
13:10My father gives me the power to grant you anything you wish.
13:14Yes, it makes common sense to ask for a haircut.
13:18I feel honored.
13:20I only ask for a little piece of land,
13:22the beautiful Selkirk and the noble county of Rosberg.
13:25That?
13:26Very good.
13:27By the power granted to me...
13:29Sorry, I'm really sorry to put my finger on the sore spot,
13:33But the point is that those lands belong to me.
13:38AND?
13:39Well, maybe you don't mind choosing other lands.
13:43Macambus?
13:44No, no, Rosberg and Selkirk.
13:45But then I'm left with Peebles.
13:48And Peebles too.
13:50Are you trying to say something, Edmund?
13:52Well, I don't know.
13:54Some people might say...
13:56What an absurd idea!
13:58Give half a scotland to a maniac in a skirt
14:00for killing a couple of Sicily Turks.
14:05No!
14:07On the contrary.
14:10Let us reward him.
14:11Good, very good.
14:12So be it.
14:15Hurrah!
14:24I'll kill him! I'll kill him right now!
14:27Yes? To whom?
14:28That Scottish weasel.
14:30Why, my lord?
14:31Because he's a stinking, thieving weasel.
14:34Yes, but how?
14:35I'll stab him.
14:36Where?
14:37In the central hall and in the bladder.
14:41But...
14:42if you do it in front of everyone,
14:44They suspect you, right?
14:47Yes, that is a drawback.
14:51Yes, maybe we need something.
14:54A little smarter.
14:57I have a cunning plan.
14:59Maybe so, but I think mine is smarter.
15:01Mine is quite cunning, my lord.
15:02Yes, but I guess not enough.
15:04What degree of cunning are you referring to?
15:05I mean very clever.
15:06What am I going to refer to?
15:07My plan is very cunning, my lord.
15:09Okay, then let it out.
15:10Let go of that thing that is so clever.
15:13Well, first you make me go with you.
15:15Ah, yes, very clever.
15:16Incredibly clever.
15:17I ask you to come with me
15:18and then, then I stab him.
15:20Very clever.
15:21No, no, then he takes a huge cannon and...
15:23I see.
15:24I'm taking him outside.
15:24I get him to put his head in a cannon
15:26and then I shoot.
15:27Yes, that's it.
15:28Yes, yes, Valdrick.
15:29It's not a very good idea.
15:33No, I have a plan that will be much more fun and definitive.
15:59No, I have a plan that will be much more fun.
16:29No, I have a plan that will be much more fun.
16:59Can I help you?
17:09No, no, thank you.
17:11Alright.
17:12Glad to hear it.
17:17I'm not bothering you up here, am I?
17:21Well no.
17:22Just one thing.
17:29I was wondering if you could do me a small favor.
17:36So?
17:37I was wondering if you'd like to help us with the festivities tonight.
17:42No, I'm going as a guest.
17:44No.
17:53Good.
17:55The truth is that we wanted one of our lesbian companies
17:59will perform a suspense play.
18:02But unfortunately one of its members is sick.
18:06And I thought you would be the perfect person to take his place.
18:12Okay, but I'm warning you.
18:15I'm not an actor.
18:17I don't think you have to do much acting.
18:20It is an ancient Egyptian play called The Death of the Scotsman.
18:29I'll try!
18:30God!
18:31And if you want, you can play the Scottish guy who dies at the end of the performance.
18:39Play dead?
18:40That's what it's like to do it.
18:42Yes, as I told you.
18:44You won't have to act much.
18:52Beware of the weasel trap!
18:54Ah!
19:01With your feet high, high, high.
19:31With trees, move branches and leaves inward.
19:34Oh yes, Lomino!
19:36Have you made the relevant changes?
19:39Yes, yes, my Lord.
19:45Ah, Macabre!
19:48Meet the actors.
19:58Hey! How did it go?
19:59I don't know, but I think they haven't understood anything.
20:08The three of us have gathered together with a daring purpose.
20:13Here, on the banks of the graceful Nile.
20:16Where camels run and the desert wind blows.
20:19To shed the blood of the Scottish villain.
20:22What's a Scotsman doing in Egypt?
20:26I'm not sure.
20:28This group is very good.
20:30Do you see your mother?
20:32She met my father when he came from France and apparently he and your mother used to.
20:36Don't be absurd.
20:39My mother would never do something like that.
20:42My father managed to marry her because he told her she was a cure for diarrhea.
20:47You don't believe it.
20:48I don't have the letters that I believe she wrote to him herself.
20:52Listen, with them we could take the regency away from young Harry.
20:55Not bad for a start, huh?
20:57Don't be absurd.
20:58Silence!
21:00Listen to the bagpipes and drums.
21:03This is where our victim approaches.
21:06Now it will come out.
21:06The signal, now I will come out.
21:08Letters, letters, but where are they?
21:09I have them well saved.
21:11Only I know where they are.
21:12The victim is approaching.
21:17By Tutankhamun.
21:19I see you're just in time.
21:21Well, as you can see, it's already getting dark and the June breeze is blowing.
21:26Yes, that's right.
21:28Tell me, what the hell do you want?
21:32You won't guess.
21:33Hurry, Cedalgo, Macangus, he's going to die!
21:35I don't like justifications.
21:37Scottish rat to the thief!
21:39You beastly weasel!
21:40Death to the Scotsman!
21:41Yes, death to the Scotsman!
21:42No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, he knows too much!
21:45That is why he must die.
21:47No, he can't die, he can't!
21:49He has information, he must not die.
21:52I made a mistake!
21:53Oh my God, what do I do now?
21:54To have the function, my lord!
21:56How, how?
21:57Well, saying, stop.
21:58For what reason?
21:59What reason could he have for stopping?
22:01Because the lagas are real and he's about to die.
22:04No, bastard!
22:09My lord, hurry up!
22:17Stop!
22:17Sorry I'm late!
22:23Take!
22:24Oh!
22:34Yes, excellent!
22:36It is certainly my mother's handwriting when you say she wrote them.
22:39In 1460!
22:41The year my brother was born!
22:45Valdrick, come here!
22:46Valdrick, go to the great hall and tell everyone that the show has been cancelled.
22:54Because?
22:54Because?
22:55Why do I tell you, you pitiful rat?
22:56Why has it been cancelled, my lord?
22:58I understand.
22:59Tell them I have an important statement to make.
23:07Should I take off my dress?
23:09Get out, get out, get out of here!
23:14If you played your cards right, you could be king.
23:18Ah, yes, someday.
23:20And sooner than you think.
23:22The last time I saw your father, he was attacking Constantinople and the gates were closed behind him.
23:26No!
23:27Yes, 3,000 Turks armed with sabers.
23:30And he alone with a small knife to peel fruit.
23:43Jerry Meriwine.
23:46Another nail in the coffin of variety.
23:50I liked Bernard, the hunter.
23:53Thank you, thank you.
23:55Hey, Edmund, is this statement going to last long?
23:58I haven't seen the eunuchs yet.
24:00No, don't worry, Harry, it will all be over soon.
24:06Dear mother, dear brother, ladies and gentlemen of the court.
24:11Today, through the hands of your faithful servant, Dugal Macangus, there have come into my possession certain rather extraordinary letters concerning the lineage of Prince Harry.
24:28L-L-L-Letters?
24:31And what's so extraordinary about them, Edmund?
24:33Cards?
24:34Well, Harry, your dear mother wrote them to your dear father.
24:38Of course, Harry, your father being Donald, the third Duke of Arjun.
24:46How dare you?
24:48These letters are of a rather intimate nature.
24:51Let me give you an example.
24:52Arundel, Thursday, my dear long-haired one, often, when you sit at table with my husband, delving into affairs of state, I sigh for the day you will delve into them.
25:06Edmund, are you sure of what you're saying?
25:09How was our mother, Harry, when she wrote these words?
25:13My dear boy, sail south.
25:17As you know, your galleon is assured a warm welcome in my port.
25:24Big boy?
25:26Mother, do you know anything about these letters?
25:28But what other choice did he have?
25:29And I was just an innocent young girl.
25:32So, I must give up the regency and hide in a monastery.
25:37Edmund, you will be the regent until your father returns.
25:41The king will not return!
25:43That?
25:44My God!
25:46The last time Macabu came back, he was facing half the Turkish army with only a kitchen knife.
25:54Okay, Percy, you can start with your thing.
25:57The king is dead! Long live the king!
26:01The king is dead! Long live the king!
26:04The king is dead!
26:06He's probably dead!
26:08Long live the king!
26:10The king is probably dead!
26:13Long live the king!
26:15The king is dead!
26:17I'm not dead!
26:19The king is not dead!
26:21Hurrah!
26:22Blood, war, death!
26:27My history bunny!
26:32Macaboo!
26:33My blood brother and my most faithful friend!
26:38You did it!
26:39Yeah!
26:40Thanks to my trusty little kitchen knife!
26:43There is no faithful kitchen knife!
26:44No, ha!
26:45Ha ha ha!
26:46Hahaha!
26:46Hahaha!
26:48Ha ha ha!
26:48Ha ha ha!
26:51Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
26:53Hey, wait a minute!
26:54What's going on here?
26:57Who are you?
26:59He's our son!
27:01That?!
27:02Oh, yes! Of course!
27:06Annie.
27:09My dear father, some letters have come to light that I believe will change things a little.
27:17Letters? What letters?
27:18They talk about certain acts of love between your wife and Donald, the cheerful dog from Scotland.
27:25How much I miss being in that kingdom between satin sheets where you and your king are the only kings
27:33united in an act of consummated love?
27:36Huge Scottish, etc., etc.
27:39Letters that are dated November and December 1460,
27:43which in relation to Harry's birth is exactly nine months earlier...
27:50After I was born.
27:54And about nine months before you were born, Edmund.
28:03Bastard!
28:04No, you're the bastard, Edmund.
28:09Silence! I demand an explanation.
28:14Sirs?
28:16The reason I have gathered you all here today is to ensure that justice is served against this Scottish scoundrel.
28:25who has clearly forged these fake letters.
28:30Let me see them.
28:31No!
28:31I will tear them in front of your face so that no trace of this filthy slander remains.
28:41Are you so fresh?
28:42And just for killing a couple of Turks when their backs were turned,
28:46Do you think it can break the harmony of an entire kingdom?
28:50I challenge you to a duel.
28:52But to the death!
28:55Well, yes, agreed.
28:56An excellent idea!
28:58After all, it's St. Leonard's Day and there's supposed to be entertainment.
29:07Take your places!
29:13It's nice to see the old Glintzy again, Emma.
29:17Do you remember the night with Glintzy and the shift?
29:19How could I forget?
29:22Well, let the killing begin.
29:26Let's see how this black viper got away!
29:49No!
29:49Be quiet!
29:51What's going on? Why are you stopping?
29:53No! I'll give you everything I have! Everything!
29:57Yes, but I'm not a rich man.
30:00What you are not is a man!
30:01But my horse must be worth about a thousand ducats!
30:05I can sell my wardrobe, the pride of my life, my swords, my curtains, my socks and my fighting cocks!
30:15I can live without servants, except the one who greases my torture rack!
30:20And my most intimate treasures, my collection of old condoms, wigs for official celebrations, wigs for private occasions, the collection of pokers, my Grendel canvases, all my underpants, my ornamental frufrus and also a miniature signed by Judas Iscariot.
30:44No, no, no!
31:14No no!
31:15No no!
31:16No no!
31:17Yes, Harry!
31:18I'm bored between these walls!
31:20But we're all so glad you're back, Father!
31:23I don't!
31:24I miss the smell of blood in my nose!
31:27And the queen has a headache!
31:30Father, we have a fascinating week ahead of us!
31:33In fact, the Archbishop of York has asked me if you'd like to join his Italian dance class!
31:38And I think I must give you an answer!
31:40Do you want me to be honest or diplomatic?
31:42Diplomatic!
31:43Tell him to go to hell!
31:46Good!
31:47Has that brute Macambus left yet?
31:49No, Edmund is taking one last walk around the castle.
31:52Do you see it?
31:53And look at this
31:56I'll be sorry to see you go.
31:58Yes, very interesting
32:00Also Edmund, they have become very good friends
32:03What the heck!
32:05The Turks!
32:06The sewers!
32:08Father, Harry!
32:09There has been an unfortunate accident!
32:11You have to come right away!
32:13Oh my God!
32:14I'll need the plunger!
32:15But I'll take out the plunger!
32:45Subscribe to the channel!
32:46But I'll take out the plunger!
32:47Saa待as!
32:48Song, it's drama!
32:49Fluoride to the plunger!
32:50Palianos changes!
32:51Olámpata!
32:52LaSequla the drain cleaner!
32:57In日本 of the
33:01And this is just 快 out!
33:05Eighty nothing!
33:0603
33:09But I will remove the undressing,
33:10Subscribe to the channel!
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