- 46 minutes ago
Category
π₯
Short filmTranscript
00:01Look at this one, honey.
00:03This trailer, it's got two bedrooms,
00:05a full bath, and a breakfast nook.
00:07I want to rent this one.
00:08Pretty big trailer.
00:09You sure Mimi can pull it?
00:12Well, maybe you could give me some tips
00:13because you haul your ass out of bed every morning.
00:17Well, I'm gonna be really glad when we're on vacation
00:19and Mimi and I are miles away
00:21and you won't be able to snipe at each other.
00:23So where are you guys going?
00:24Well, I always wanted to take a pilgrimage to Dollywood.
00:27I hear if you can prove your sister's your wife,
00:30you're getting free.
00:33Well, we better shake our tail feathers.
00:34We want to rent this trailer before somebody else does.
00:36Bye.
00:37Bye.
00:39Man, hitting the open road.
00:41No schedules, no responsibilities.
00:44You know, sometimes I fantasize about that
00:46when I'm napping under my truck in the middle of the work day.
00:51Well, I gotta start my ship now.
00:54Well, in that case, I'd like to order something to go.
00:57An extra long kiss.
01:02How about a side of ass grab on the house?
01:11Looks like things are heating up with Leslie.
01:13Could it be time to put another notch in the bedpost?
01:16Yeah, it'd be nice to have something to match the other one.
01:19Hey, hey, hey.
01:21A gentleman does not discuss intimate details.
01:25Oh, time to take the pill that numbs my genitals so I can last longer.
01:33Why would you want to do that?
01:34Every woman I've been with wants it to go fast.
01:36It's a drug co-experiment I begged my way into.
01:41You know, it's kind of been a while for me.
01:44I mean, I've been practicing, but it's different when you're up against another team, you know.
01:48Hey, you know, Drew, I can get you some of these.
01:51Oh, we don't need any sex bills because Kate and I aren't having sex.
01:55We're taking it slow.
01:57And?
01:58And it's a mutual decision.
01:59Uh-huh.
02:01Well, here's to finally having a sex life.
02:03Again.
02:08It's just like riding a bike, right?
02:10Oh, sure.
02:11Hey, you know, for the first couple of times, you might want to have your dad hold onto you so you don't fall off.
02:23All this energy calling me
02:26Back where it comes from
02:28It's such a crude attitude
02:33It's back where it belongs
02:36All the little chicks with their crimson lips go
02:39Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
02:42She's living in sin with a safety pin
02:45Go Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
02:51Cleveland rocks, Cleveland rocks
02:55Oh, hi-yo, hi-yo, hi-yo, hi-yo, hi-yo, hi-yo, hi-yo
03:06Hey, pig, who come you're cleaning your sty?
03:10You know, if you win the blue ribbon, they'll eat you.
03:12I'm just taking Mr. Szilard's memo to heart and making my workplace presentable and professional.
03:19You know, you could do the same if you wore a business suit. Pulled it over your head.
03:25Good morning, Carrie.
03:27Every morning's a good morning when you're running the store, sir.
03:30Carrie, when you grovel so obviously, it offends a man of Mr. Szilard's extraordinary and superlative character.
03:37You know, Carrie, your challenge today is find a spot on my ass that Mr. Wick hasn't already kissed.
03:46Good luck trying.
03:49Carrie, I must say, your desk is spotless. Love it.
03:52Everyone gather around, take a look at this.
03:55Now, this is a perfect example of a workstation.
03:57There are no personal effects, no photos of loved ones, no signs of outside life whatsoever.
04:04In fact, if you died, we could bring another man in here, you wouldn't even know that Carrie existed.
04:09Not to frighten you, sir, but I intend to take enough people with me to be remembered.
04:12The reason I sing it off this desk is that when clients come into the floor, I want them to know the atmosphere here is business.
04:24Oops, gotta take my folic acid, trying to get preggers, getting the ground ready for planting.
04:31What is all of this? Didn't you get the memo, no personal effects on your desk?
04:41Everything that's on this desk is about business. This troll takes my messages, and this one holds my pencil, and this big one supervises the other two.
04:51But whatever, you know what? All this stuff has got to go, and you need to start dressing like you work in an office.
05:00The way I dress and what I have on my desk makes me happy, and when I'm happy, the work gets done.
05:08You know what would make me happy? That if the desk in front of the manager's office didn't look like the gateway to Santa's Village.
05:16You can send all the damn memos you want. I'm not changing nothing.
05:19I'm gonna tell you this once. Change the clothes, change the desk, or you'll be changing jobs.
05:25I couldn't hear you. I was filling out my wrongful termination suit, fired for personal appearance.
05:32I could win this one with a lawyer from the mall.
05:36Mimi, if you cross me on this, I will become your worst nightmare.
05:44Unless you dream about yourself.
05:49What the crap!
06:02What's going on here?
06:04Mimi, please! I'm in a meeting with Mr. Solon! He's so funny, he's making my sides hurt!
06:09God, that man can make one knock-knock joke last an hour.
06:16What's the deal with this?
06:18Oh, congratulations, they finally got you an office.
06:21It's just a trick to hide me!
06:23No, no, it is technically an office. It's all perfectly legal. You still get to wear what you want to display your trolls and other sad little nicky-nacky things.
06:31Well, then I guess I won.
06:35Well, we all did.
06:39I don't like getting here.
06:41Sorry, can't hear you.
06:42Mimi?
06:48What do you want?
06:50I want to put $50 on Man of War to win.
06:55What kind of world is it where beautiful women are caged and pigs are allowed to run free?
07:02Geez!
07:08Can't even breathe in there.
07:10Well, maybe we should drop in some hay. It'll bring back fond memories of when you came out of your mom and learn how to walk.
07:16The important thing is I went eye to eye with the boss and he blinked.
07:22Not the way I see it. I think you back down because you're afraid of being fired.
07:25I didn't back down.
07:26Well, you let him put you in a little box or nobody's going to notice you anymore.
07:29People always notice me. I'm a head turner.
07:33If I was you, I wouldn't put so much effort into your clothes from now on.
07:37Hey, I don't spend my weekends digging through the rhinestone barrel at the yarn bar not to get noticed.
07:43Hey, you don't have to tell me, but I think it's time you holster that bedazzler.
07:47So long, get your can out here!
07:53I'm not working in there!
07:57Mimi, your phone is ringing.
07:59I don't care. I'm not going in there.
08:02Actually, Grandmama's in hospital. If something's happened, it would be nice to know.
08:07Your job is to answer the phone, so please answer the phone.
08:10No.
08:12Then you're not doing your job and you're fired.
08:14What?
08:16Mr. Wick, you gotta help me. I worked for you for four years.
08:19And if you'd absorbed anything in that time, it would have been that I'm a bad person. Bye-bye.
08:24Look, I know this is a bad time for you, so I'm not going to gloat. I'll just get your severance package.
08:32I've got your 401 key information.
08:33I've got your 401 key information.
08:34I've got your 401 key information.
08:38Oh, no.
08:39I've got your 401 key information.
08:44I've got your 401 key information.
08:47Oh, my God.
08:49You're on the right.
08:50Oh, my God.
08:53I've got your 401 key information.
08:55I'm starving. I can't believe we got kicked out of medieval times.
09:11I can't believe we were banished for a whole fortnight.
09:16Yeah, I didn't know this t-shirt was going to spook the horses.
09:21Well, I've got to hit the ladies' room. But after that, we're going home.
09:25And I'm not going to be such a lady.
09:27Okay. I can't wait, baby.
09:32I can't go through this again tonight.
09:34What's the matter, buddy? Numbing pills aren't working?
09:37No, they're working too well.
09:39It was great for the first hour. Second hour was all right.
09:41But by the third hour, it wasn't even sex anymore. It was just push-ups.
09:48Three hours? What, no foreplay?
09:50Really?
09:53So, in the interest of science, how long did this go on for?
10:00Until I got a cramp in my butt and she thought I had an orgasm.
10:06Come on, champ.
10:07Hope you're ready for the Guinness Book of Records tonight.
10:10Oh, hey. Something to read.
10:12Hey, so who wants a beer?
10:16I do.
10:18Hey, Drew, what's Mimi doing in your backyard?
10:20I thought I tied those garbage bags up.
10:23You've got more crap than I do.
10:27Steve, what the heck are you doing?
10:29If he can wear that shirt, I'm going to have that toilet paper made with his face on it.
10:33Well, since Mimi lost her job and I haven't been able to find any work,
10:38we decided to give up our apartment and buy this trailer instead of renting it.
10:42And you just park it in my backyard without even asking me?
10:45No, I'm just picking up some stuff from your garage that I left there.
10:48Don't worry, pig. We're leaving tomorrow.
10:50We're not just visiting Dollywood.
10:52We're moving there and we're getting jobs.
10:56Mimi's leaving Cleveland for good?
10:58Mm-hmm.
10:59Hallelujah!
11:03Hallelujah!
11:03Yeah, it turns out getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me.
11:08Mm-hmm. Testify.
11:12There's so much stuff in the garage, this is going to take all night.
11:14Uh, Kate, Oswald, come on, those boxers are going to move themselves.
11:16Come on, let's go, go, go.
11:17Hey, uh, give me the keys to your truck and I'll hook your trailer.
11:20Why? What are you going to do?
11:21I'll fill it up with gas and get through L-Change.
11:22And then I'm going to go down the street and I'm going to punch that atheist in the nose.
11:24Tell me there's not a God.
11:25Hello?
11:26Hello?
11:26Hello?
11:27What happened? Are you okay?
11:40What's going on?
11:41He's fine.
11:42He's just in shock because his truck was stolen.
11:44His truck?
11:45Yeah, it seems he left a key in it while he was filling it up.
11:48Now, my guess is he went inside to get the giant pretzel.
11:53What are you doing standing here? Go look for our truck.
11:56Well, we already found it, ma'am.
11:57You see, we were in the area, so we were able to give pursuit until the suspect jumped out of the vehicle.
12:02Where's that truck?
12:03Well, it exploded when we shot at it. It's quite a fireball.
12:07Just as long as you're all right, honey.
12:10Thank you. Thank you very much, officer.
12:15So, was it worth it?
12:19Was your salty treat worth my truck?
12:23I'm sorry, Steve.
12:24I'll pay the deductible and I'll get you another truck and get you on your way.
12:27That's the main thing. The important thing is get you on your way.
12:28I really want to get you on your way.
12:29Well, maybe what you should have done is wait till you get home
12:34where you have some pretzels!
12:37You're not hot.
12:41I don't believe this.
12:42No, it's true. They keep the pretzels warm in this rotating heater.
12:48Don't worry, Steve. We'll get a new truck with the insurance money.
12:51No, we won't, because I let it lapse two months ago.
12:59Hey! What do you mean you let it lapse?
13:03I don't want to talk about it now. Let's discuss it at home.
13:08All right, we're home!
13:10Oh, my God, they're home.
13:24What the heck happened to all the hot water?
13:26Oh, sorry, bro.
13:27We hooked up the trailer to your plumbing.
13:29Mimi's a bear without her hot shower in the morning.
13:31Can't you just roll around in the snow till her fur's clean?
13:37Oh, I'm sorry, Drew.
13:38I thought since you got a truck stolen and ruined our lives,
13:41it'd be okay to borrow a little water.
13:43Oh, I'm sorry.
13:44I didn't sleep well last night.
13:46The rocking trailer kept me up all night.
13:48And then the screaming started.
13:51Yeah, what was that?
13:52That was me when I realized what was going on in the trailer.
13:54Why is it so cold in here?
13:57We had to prop open a window to get some power cords out there.
14:01What have you done to my backyard?
14:06Look at this.
14:07All I need is a three-legged dog back here,
14:09and I'm officially white trash.
14:14I thought you were going to live in the trailer.
14:17What's all your junk doing in my backyard?
14:19Well, it's not your backyard anymore.
14:21It's my front yard.
14:22Oh, well, you know, don't get used to it.
14:24It's only temporary.
14:24You know, they don't call it a mobile home for nothing.
14:27Why not?
14:28They call you a man for nothing.
14:30And look, until you buy us a new truck, we're stuck here.
14:34If you don't mind, I have some laundry to hang,
14:36and up next are my dainties.
14:39And never up again is my penis.
14:46Hey, Steve.
14:48Tomorrow, I'm taking you down to the store,
14:49and I'm getting you a job.
14:50Doing what?
14:51Uh, a new position just opened.
14:52Vice President, I'm getting your trailer the hell out of my yard.
14:56Calm down, bro.
14:57That's not you talking.
14:58It's your blood sugar.
14:59That's why I made us some eggs.
15:01Thanks.
15:03Come and get it.
15:04The eggs are ready.
15:07Should we make breakfast, too?
15:08No.
15:08We're trying to have a kid.
15:09She's ovulating.
15:10Carol, thank you for a lovely day.
15:25Can I get you a cup of coffee or something before I go?
15:27We discussed this.
15:29I get you the coffee, sir.
15:32Now, you put that coat on.
15:33It's cold outside.
15:34Yeah.
15:35Yes, Mommy.
15:35I mean, Carol.
15:39Mr. Carey.
15:40Mr. Carey, sir.
15:41Huh?
15:42Why'd you call me that?
15:43It's a sign of respect.
15:44I know.
15:45Why'd you call me that?
15:46Oh, you big silly.
15:49It's just that the woman that used to work there called me Pig, and she had me arrested
15:54for attempted murder and sent me off to China.
15:58There, there.
15:59It's okay.
16:01Carol's here now.
16:04Oh.
16:06You know what might make you feel better.
16:09Why don't you join me and have one of my special cookies?
16:12Okay.
16:13Wait!
16:15Still want to eat it?
16:18You've got to learn to trust again.
16:21I'm sorry.
16:22Just don't give up on me, Carol.
16:27Hey, Drew.
16:28Hey.
16:28So, I've been to every trailer park in town.
16:31What'd you find out?
16:32Found a place for Steve and Mimi to live that's in your price range.
16:35Oh, that's great.
16:37And now I know where you can get a baby for a carton of cigarettes.
16:46You already doing ironing in my kitchen?
16:48There's no room in the trailer.
16:50Why do you vacuum at 2 a.m. in the morning butt naked with your shades open?
16:56Why don't you get Steve in here?
16:57Because we have great news.
16:59Yeah.
16:59Listen.
17:00Found a trailer park for you guys to move into.
17:02I'm willing to pay for the first six months' rent.
17:03Nope.
17:04Not interested.
17:06Come on.
17:06Come on.
17:06It has a swimming pool, laundry, and it's owned for killing poultry.
17:09You can dangle all the amenities in front of me that you want, but until we save up enough
17:15to buy a truck, we're not moving.
17:17Save up what?
17:18I don't see you looking for a job.
17:20Well, I've been trying, but Solard must be giving me lousy references.
17:23Because every interview that I go on, the personnel guy brings out all the employees to meet me,
17:27and then they have their pictures taken with me, and then they never call me back.
17:32Well, you're going to have to do your job searching from a trailer park.
17:35No, I like it here better, where I have house privileges.
17:38Well, the end right now, get back in the trailer.
17:41No.
17:42Get back in the trailer.
17:44Make me.
17:45Make you?
17:45What are you, two years old?
17:46I have a hostage.
17:47Give me that.
17:49Give me that.
17:51Give me that right now.
17:52Get in the trailer or it's going down my pants.
17:53No, I can't go in there.
17:54I swear to God, it's going to touch my butt.
17:56No, don't make me go in there.
17:58I don't want to go in there.
17:59I'm claustrophobic.
18:02What?
18:03Claustrophobic.
18:05I thought it'd be all right in the trailer if it was moving and the windows were open,
18:08but then we got stuck here, and it's even smaller than I thought.
18:11I can't take it.
18:13It's worse than that little box that they wanted to put me in at work.
18:16Oh, crap.
18:18What?
18:19I need to think.
18:20Well, you can't use our toilet because Steve's going to take a shower.
18:24Damn it.
18:28Damn it, damn it, damn it.
18:31What is it, Drew?
18:32Damn it.
18:33Damn it, damn it.
18:35Claustrophobia is a medical condition.
18:36I can get Mimi her job back at the store.
18:39Well, that's great, Drew.
18:39You can get her out of the yard.
18:41Yeah, but then I have to put her up with her at work.
18:43Damn it.
18:44She's either at home or at my work.
18:46I watch Unsolved Mysteries.
18:47People disappear there all the time.
18:48Why can't she?
18:49Drew, let's think about this logically.
18:52You'd have her eight hours a day at work versus 16 hours a day at home.
18:57Yeah, but I'd be sleeping for eight hours.
18:59Probably more because of the alcohol and the depression.
19:02Right, but you'd also have her home for weekends and holidays.
19:05I don't know what to do.
19:10I guess I'll get her a job back.
19:13Come on, Steve.
19:14Maybe if we do it outdoors, it'll take.
19:19You know, every time Mimi rings that bell, an angel rips its wings off.
19:21Goodbyes are so hard.
19:30Oh, you'll be all right.
19:33You can face anything in the world.
19:36Let a smile be your umbrella.
19:39Out of my way, Grandma Moses.
19:44Here, take my flask.
19:45That night, I had a dream.
19:54Steve and Mimi left and traveled around the world,
19:57just traveling and having babies.
20:00It seems the farther away they got, the more babies they had.
20:05But I was happy as they were, because I had care.
20:08We're going bowling, so don't lose her in Solon.
20:16Moon over Parma tonight.
20:21
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