- 2 days ago
S1E3
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:02guess where I just came from oh the west coast you left your old job at the dot-com and
00:09you
00:09decided to come out here no no no I meant just now but thanks for the recap it keeps me
00:17grounded
00:19Brady's market I haven't been there in years it's amazing how nothing changes in this town
00:24except for Grady I don't remember him being a Korean couple
00:28oh no they bought it from Grady yeah I figured that out it's so great to have a store and
00:36walking distance isn't it a lovely walk it's a great walk I actually drove but
00:43the people I've passed just seem to be so happy you know just friendly hey Ellen welcome home
00:49good to see you slow down you maniac just the sweetest well our little town is sort of frozen
01:02in time I guess you could say yeah you know what I want to do later on I want to
01:07go see old man
01:07McIntyre at the candy store he's not a Korean couple too is he oh no but he sold it years
01:13ago yeah it
01:15was a bead store there for a while then it was uh pet groomers then a nail salon and then
01:22someone
01:23turned it back into a candy store again oh good so it has a happy ending and then it was
01:28ripped down
01:30that turns very sad again but now I hear they're gonna put a new restaurant in and get this it's
01:37one
01:37of those hot new chains PJ knockers PJ knockers I know cute name no no it's it's not a cute
01:48name it's
01:49it's a it's a franchise you know where they make those women run around and barely nothing shoving
01:53their boobs in their boobs in your face knockers get it oh what you don't get it do you no
02:38morning everybody oh morning honey good morning Catherine did you hear about this that the old
02:43candy store is now PJ knockers cute name
02:50no no no it's not a cute name it's the candy store we grew up with McIntyre's remember you used
02:55to you used to see how many candy cigarettes you could fit in your mouth okay how many I could
03:00fit
03:00in your mouth three packs wow did we get up to three packs good thing they came out with that
03:12little candy patchy you'd still be hooked well I for one I'm pretty excited about a new restaurant
03:20in town well you can't be Catherine I mean you you work the lunch counter over at the drugstore this
03:25is
03:25the kind of chain restaurant that'll put you out of business well frankly I wouldn't mind if they
03:30close the lunch side I think I'm getting carpal tunnel from the fudge pump I had a dime for every
03:43time I heard that phrase I'd have a dime I think you should talk to your boss about that well
03:51I don't
03:51want to rock the boat the assistant manager position is open and I I don't want to blow it now
03:56oh good
03:56are you going for the job are you kidding I practically asked for it so you haven't actually
04:00asked for it well not in so many words in any words no new words you've got to be more
04:10assertive
04:12you're right and that's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna march right in there and I'm gonna tell him
04:15what I want good for you you give him an ultimatum I will if he's in a good mood and
04:22he's not too busy
04:23and if he brings it up first I think you should just leave her alone she's got her system and
04:29it
04:29works for her no it doesn't work she's got to get in there and fight like the people at Clark
04:34will do
04:34when they find out about PJ knockers I know these people I've driven among them you know what I'm
04:41gonna take a stand as soon as I get to the school I'm gonna organize a sit-in can you
04:46take a stand when
04:47you're sitting oh well they can have a seat as long as they don't take it lying down that's just
04:52it's lazy hello Ellen I guess somebody must still be on LA time oh sorry I was late I'm running
05:05off
05:05some forms I'm getting a petition together you're not gonna believe this I just found out they're
05:08opening a PJ knockers here yes we've actually already covered that while you were taking your
05:13sweet time oh well good I'm sorry so how are we gonna let them have it well I thought we'd
05:19send
05:19them a gift basket and a thank-you note is that a Sicilian thing no it's an appreciation thing you
05:32see
05:33they're sponsoring our annual faculty dinner oh no that can't happen that's a marketing ploy well if that
05:39means a night of free food and drink I think I agree with the faculty here just marking our brains
05:44out that's the problem they will bit by bit these big corporations will suck the life out of this
05:51town first it's a chain restaurant then it's a few mini malls but before you know it they grow into
05:55maxi malls they're not so cute anymore especially if you wind up parking on some level like p8 wedged
06:01between a Hummer and a Beamer and you're trying to squeeze out of the car and you barely touch the
06:06guy's door barely and still he leaves a note on your windshield that says did you scratch my car so
06:10you try to you know ignore it for a couple of days and then the insurance company calls and they
06:15said
06:15did you scratch this guy's car and you have to try to act like I don't know what the hell
06:18you're
06:18talking about we don't know what the hell you're talking about exactly you don't want this kind of
06:28life it's confusing before you know it there's crowds and traffic and a giant Burger King in the
06:32middle of town square don't let this happen to Clark come on Ellen it's not that big a deal you're
06:41you're kind of supersizing the whole situation PJ knockers is just a restaurant yeah it's just a
06:48restaurant where they make women run around and skimpy little shorts and tight t-shirts and shove
06:52their boobs in your face do they yes and it's degrading to women am I right bunny I don't follow
07:06funny I didn't leave here so I could come back to some generic theme park come on with this petition
07:11I think we can really help save this town what do you say okay Wow thanks that's that's that's more
07:20like it you know I mean we're one big family in Clark you know I just I just don't want
07:25us to
07:25forget that who are you oh I'm sorry Ellen this is Pam she's our substitute homemaking teacher oh like
07:35the spray hi nice to meet you Ellen I guess some of us just don't have your perspective on this
07:42because
07:43you know some of us never even left some of us chose to stay here to teach homemaking to our
07:48young so
07:49that they could learn to sew and bake and make their own belts listen Pam no one enjoys freshly baked
08:04belt more than I do that's why we need to do this thank you so much everybody I really appreciate
08:18it
08:18thank you very much sleepy doc grumpy sneezy um Ellen bad time no no don't be bashful oh I wasn't
08:32I was
08:33a sneezy so that would make bunny doc so how can I help you well since you're new here I
08:48just wanted
08:49to bring you a little something oh well that's sweet but I didn't have time what with baking this
08:53Bundt cake so in lieu of that I hope a cheery welcome will do oh okay what have you done
09:05with
09:05your office thank you I like to call it crappy chic you know it's funny this was going to be
09:13my annex to
09:13the home ec kitchen but I don't want to bore you with all that oh well it'll take more than
09:18that to
09:18bore me not a lot more but so what's on your mind I want this to be my annex to
09:27the home ec kitchen I see
09:30should have suspected you were here for something more than just not bringing me a Bundt cake Ellen
09:39I'm being asked to provide all the desserts for the faculty dinner and as I said this was supposed to
09:44be my space I'm still not clear why you even need an office cuz I'm the guidance counselor it wouldn't
09:53look right for me to be lost and wandering the halls those are the people I'm trying to help all
10:02I'm
10:03asking for is a place to cool my cookies off is that too much to ask is it Ellen no
10:15you can cool your
10:18cookies here really yeah oh thank you okay you won't even know I'm here I just need a little
10:24shelf space all right and listen if there is anything I can ever do for you oh like put a
10:29real signature on a petition great example please just let me know and I understand that they dance
10:42on tables that can't be hygienic yeah and as the Department of Health I thought you might be
10:50interested in something like that yep you're welcome my name is a Joan Q Zack he's my brother yeah
11:10he's adorable yeah no we're not all actors some of us are still waiters hey get up there it was
11:17local
11:19no no I was talking to Kitty
11:27Ellen you remember my friend Etta no but I remember the dress hi
11:34Willard's going to announce Etta's birthday tomorrow on the today show oh well that would make you oh my
11:43listen I'm still working on shutting down PJ knockers I have called just about everybody in town
11:47I'm telling you that and Miss Cleo to find out how it's gonna turn out well what does she say
11:53doesn't look good and keep calling mon I told Etta all about those women at the PJ knockers and
12:02she's willing to hop on board thank you so much we sure could use another signature on the petition
12:06oh I'm a big supporter oh well we are sisters in the fight oh why can't these women learn to
12:13stay out of
12:14the workplace
12:23okay different fight but uh I can use the signatures so it's time to give them hell
12:30like Harry Truman yeah like Harry Truman she signed it Harry Truman didn't she
12:51uh-huh good afternoon ma'am and welcome to PJ knockers is this your first time here
13:00I'm not really here I'm here to serve a petition to the manager oh fun what do you think of
13:06our knockers
13:10what do you think they're jammed in there yeah we suddenly got a rush of business it's almost like
13:19somebody called everybody in town and told them about the place anyway the manager will be right
13:28with you why don't you have a seat at the bar okay keep your anger okay mr. manager do you
13:48know
13:48what's going on here so bring your good time can I take your drink order Catherine what are you doing
14:14what are you doing well I gave them an ultimatum at the pharmacy and I'm gonna tell you it just
14:20felt
14:20so empowering just like you said it would I did I said it would I don't remember saying it would
14:25I
14:25don't remember that excuse me ma'am I remember saying that they tore down the old candy place and
14:29I remember you using the phrase fudge pump but then that's all I remember yeah that was about my
14:35carpal tunnel yeah so that happened and then some other stuff happened and now you're naked oh you're
14:40funny no they didn't give me the promotion so I quit the pharmacy and I got a job here so
14:48what do you
14:48think well I think you should quit what quit I'm sorry Ellen but I've got a job to do right
14:56now and it
14:57does not involve taking orders from you now can I take your order yes quit would you drop these off
15:08at
15:08table six sure okay oh Ben from the knees Ben from the knees you're back she's got a bad back
15:18careful
15:19let me just help you with that right there it's very chilly in here I think you need a tablecloth
15:27around you because chilly she gets very chilly hold on all right bye hey Ellen I just got a call
15:37from the GM over PJ knockers that's the general manager I know what it is yeah and uh he mentioned
15:43that your sister's been hired over there so I guess this means you'll be dropping the whole fight no it
15:47makes it worse of course they hired her you don't see him hiring rusty well I don't exactly have the
15:52right credentials exactly they're not gonna put you in a tight t-shirt and have you wiggle around the
15:57dining room I mean I've never been a waiter you don't think I'd look good in a t-shirt Ellen
16:05this event
16:06is one of the few perks of my job and you ought to keep that in mind if you like
16:10yours is that a
16:12threat mr. mom it didn't start out to be but you know now that I think about it sure you
16:18could take
16:18it that way are you saying I'm fat well for what it's worth Ellen I'm I dig where you're coming
16:28from
16:28right on bunny nice to have somebody who really gets it yeah I have a feeling we're not as different
16:35as you think cuz Ellen I have a bigger head than most people say um on Thursday there's a place
16:43over in Patterson that has foxy boxing in case you ever just want to kick back and watch some chicks
16:48wail on each other actually I'm against women wailing any kind of wailing really other than that same
17:04page glad we connected is that what happened decision to let you use my office oh don't mind us Ellen
17:16just
17:16make yourself at home don't slam I wasn't gonna slam Pam you want to tell me what's going on here
17:25oh
17:25yes thank you because I have to get back to class these have to come out in 20 minutes and
17:30these you
17:30have to turn slightly when golden not brown but golden what if they're golden brown well then you've
17:37ruined it haven't you yes I have I've ruined it uh listen you said a little shelf space how am
17:43I
17:44supposed to work in here I would recommend potholders I'd recommend a new annex hello cupcake mom what are you
17:54doing here Ellen oh hi I just came to see your office well it's not really a good time as
18:05you can see I've
18:05got a lot on my plate and on my seat as it turns out Ellen I'm worried about your sister
18:11I am too I
18:12don't know what to do I'll tell you what you should do you should support her oh great idea why
18:16don't I
18:16just get up there and do a table dance with her if it would make her happy then yes you
18:20should that
18:22place represents everything I'm against what am I supposed to do just turn that off you're darn
18:26right no I meant this should I turn this off is that look brown more I don't think you realize
18:33how
18:34much your disapproval of your sister hurts her you need to let her know that she's more important than
18:39your latest soapbox you want small-town values those are them well I don't know what I'm supposed
18:44to do well you're just gonna have to come up with an idea did you get one that was the
19:02oven
19:03no slam what I never mind oh hey you you're back yeah I'm back I'm here to support my sister
19:19we've got a birthday it's your birthday don't be afraid it's your birthday time to get laid
19:32it's gonna be harder than I thought
19:43Catherine hey Catherine down here leave me alone I don't need you making fun of where I work
19:49I'm not I'm not I'm not make I'm not making fun I'm I'm having fun look at me whoo fun
19:57fun fun fun
19:58fun dangerous fun but it's fun you should have these tables bolted down see Ellen that's just it
20:05you're always telling me what to do don't say that unless you want to do you have any idea what
20:10it's
20:10like trying to live your entire life in the shadow of someone who always gets it right I just wanted
20:15you to respect me I do respect you I do oh please I can't even get a promotion at a
20:24pharmacy where
20:25I'm the only employee I can't live up to your standard do you know how much I look up to
20:29you
20:29I do you just you trust people I mean I trust people too but hey watch the hands buddy the
20:38point
20:38is I'm your big sister I'm gonna tell you what to do it's in the job description doesn't mean you
20:42have to listen to any of it really really now I think you should keep this job well in that
20:51case
20:51let's get out of here let's get out of here leave it so soon no okay
21:19this is the worst faculty dinner ever it's certainly not my fault these cookies are golden black
21:28so much for the main courses what are the odds that the health inspector is just gonna show up out
21:33of the blue and shut down PJ knockers don't blame me Aaron it was Joan Cusack who made the call
21:38well at
21:40least your sister got a promotion at the pharmacy yeah that was a lucky break actually they fired the
21:45replacement guy for raiding the Prozac drawer how'd he take it pretty well
21:49for you
22:09it's
22:10good
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