- 2 days ago
S1E2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00SIREN
00:02BIRDS CHIRP
00:45BIRDS CHIRP
01:04BIRDS CHIRP
01:05Listen, Officer B. Arthur?
01:10It's actually Barney, but in small town law enforcement, that's not a name you really want.
01:16People tend to poke fun.
01:17And they let you slide with B. Arthur?
01:22Listen, I'm going to say this as tactfully as possible.
01:25You're not welcome here.
01:26A coffee.
01:28Oh, thanks.
01:32Thank you, ma'am.
01:34Mmm, hazelnut.
01:35Yeah.
01:37Morning, dear. When'd you get up?
01:39Approximately 7.02.
01:42Well, it's your first day home.
01:44It's okay if you slept in.
01:45We've all done it.
01:50Will you excuse us?
01:52Mom? Mom?
01:54Yeah?
01:54He can't stay here.
01:56Oh, B?
01:57Oh, he's a lamb.
01:58You'll never even know he's there.
02:01Oh, he got one!
02:02Ha-ha!
02:03Whoa!
02:32LAUGHTER
02:36hey mom
02:36did you want some scrambled eggs
02:40yeah I'd love some
02:41oh shoot
02:42Kenny just ate the last of it
02:49coffee
02:50please
02:50is also gone
02:53well this is a fun game
02:56that's okay mom
02:56I don't need any coffee
02:57I'm wide awake
02:58something about an armed man
03:00on a motorcycle outside my window
03:01really jump starts my day
03:02he has got to move
03:03you get used to it
03:05anyway
03:06I think your sister
03:07has a little crush
03:08on Bea Arthur
03:11it's funny mine was on
03:13Adrienne Barbeau
03:15I'm serious about this mom
03:17oh I have to get to jazzercise
03:19if I'm two minutes late
03:21they'll be on the leg warmers
03:22ooh I can imagine the pressure
03:25anyway
03:26don't concern yourself
03:28with officer Arthur
03:29you have a new life to start
03:30I mean think about it
03:32you've got to ship your stuff out here
03:34and you've got to find a job missy
03:36a job
03:36I just left that whole
03:37high pressure world behind
03:38so I can find out what makes me happy
03:40I need to sit by a stream
03:42for a little while
03:42like in the book Walden
03:44I need to have a little me time
03:46I don't think that's for you dear
03:50face it
03:50you're a doer
03:51not a thinker
04:00you know even without a report card in front of me
04:02that still stings
04:02not a thinking the reductions
04:03and they give me the Mandy
04:04I don't know
04:05if you do me
04:06because I'm actually
04:06I don't know
04:07you're thealis
04:07and I'm to have a
04:20I don't know
04:25if the對不起
04:26and VBR
04:26Well I think that's
04:29I don't know
04:32that the Asians
04:39Hey, Catherine.
04:40No!
04:41Ellen, what are you doing here?
04:43Mom said you were at the stream figuring out what you were going to do with your life.
04:45Well, I was.
04:46So what'd you come up with?
04:47I figured out that the road less traveled is buggy.
04:51Hey, you have any bug spray?
04:53That would be aisle one.
04:59Is that aisle one?
05:01That's her.
05:04Okay, maybe I'll go and take a look and try to figure out why she has a number.
05:09So Mom told me you're looking for a job.
05:11She did? Mom said that?
05:13Well, for a second there, it seemed like she was listening.
05:16Well, FYI, the Clareton guy's quitting.
05:18He drives a really nice van and he's never stuffy.
05:24Well, as appealing as that sounds, I'm in a whole different place right now.
05:28I just need to gather my thoughts while I sit on a rock or...
05:31A little foldy-stooly thing.
05:33Even better.
05:35$14.
05:35Give me a break.
05:37Oh, no, I didn't mean you had to...
05:38Well, that is better.
05:41Hey, do you have Walden Pond?
05:43No, we just carry the regular ponds.
05:47And it just went on sale.
05:51No, I actually, I meant the book, but oh, I'll take two.
05:56I think I'm just going to stop by school and see if they have a copy there.
05:59I should go by and say hi to Rusty and Mr. Mon, let him know I'm back.
06:03And it's on the way to the stream anyway.
06:04Did you hear what happened at home?
06:06Some hooligan knocked our mailbox down about an hour ago.
06:08I don't know where Bea Arthur was.
06:10Oh, well, I guess they moved him.
06:12Why would they move him?
06:14I don't know.
06:15I may have called and said...
06:17Move him?
06:21Well, gee, thanks a lot, Ellen.
06:22I had a crush on him.
06:24I think he was getting ready to ask me out.
06:26I had him moved, not fired.
06:27If you want his attention, just run a few stop signs on the way home.
06:30I'm sorry.
06:31I'm back.
06:31I need my privacy.
06:33Fine.
06:34$18?
06:35What happened to the discount?
06:36What happened to Bea Arthur?
06:43So, uh, you moved back to Clark?
06:45Yeah.
06:46I was actually just looking for your locker.
06:47I was going to leave a note, and then I remembered, you're a teacher.
06:49Yeah.
06:51Actually, that's still my locker.
06:54And you just tossed away the old life, said,
06:56I'm starting over right here in a little old Clark.
06:58Yep, I did.
06:59Think that's a good idea?
07:02Yeah.
07:03I mean, it's just temporary.
07:04You know, until I figure out my next step,
07:06I'm just looking for some inspiration.
07:09Well, all right.
07:10Um, often in life, we go through changes, I guess.
07:14Okay, I'm not.
07:14In this situation.
07:15I'm sorry.
07:16Not, not from you.
07:17I was actually looking for the book Walden.
07:20Oh, that's good, because I had nothing.
07:24Well, look how that works out.
07:26Ellen.
07:27Hey, Mr. Munch.
07:28Hey, I heard that somebody decided to chuck it all
07:31and come back to the bosom of Clark.
07:33Yes, I did.
07:34Well, well, well, welcome back.
07:35Thanks pretty much.
07:36I'm going to grab a copy of Walden, if you don't mind.
07:38Oh, shh.
07:39Isn't it great?
07:40I got my Ellen back.
07:42Newsflash, Rusty.
07:43She's hopped the net and swinging a new racket.
07:50Uh, Ellen, word has it that you're going to be driving for the Clareton people.
07:56I can't wait for you guys to get cable here.
08:00You know, we have a guidance counselor position open.
08:03Oh, no, I don't think so.
08:05Why not?
08:06You were a teacher right out of college.
08:07You still have your credentials?
08:08Uh, I'd have to check the pocket of my Gloria Vanderbilt jeans,
08:11but, yeah, I think so, yeah.
08:13I don't know.
08:14I don't know if I'm really great at talking to kids.
08:17Hey.
08:18Hey.
08:19That went pretty well.
08:20I had chills.
08:23Well, I watched the MTV, but, uh...
08:27I don't know.
08:28I appreciate all the concern about my employment situation,
08:30but I think I need to explore some options
08:32before I would just jump right back to something.
08:33To take a job that they earn in a year,
08:36what you used to make in a month.
08:37No, that's not what I'm saying.
08:39No, no, no, no, no.
08:40I know what you mean.
08:41You know, why slum it in the public school system
08:43when you can rake it in in the private sector?
08:45No, I really wasn't trying...
08:47Hey, it's great to see you again.
08:51Well, I should get going to the stream.
08:53I mean, wasting time.
08:54You know, I mean, this soul's not gonna search itself.
08:56Yeah.
08:58Well, hey, give me a call later on.
08:59You know, I will.
09:02You know, I was thinking,
09:03why don't we just have lunch or something
09:04before I head back to the stream?
09:05Oh, I don't have time.
09:07I gotta prepare for this class.
09:08Oh, come on, surely there's a six-foot-tall muscular blonde
09:11that could squeeze in a lunch with me, huh?
09:13I'm sorry.
09:14No can do.
09:20I got rope climbing till three.
09:22Rain check?
09:33Walden, chapter one.
09:36I do not propose to write an ode to dejection,
09:40but to brag as lustily as Chanticleer in the...
09:53412.
09:56Walden, chapter one.
09:58I do not propose to write an ode to dejection,
10:02but to brag as lustily as Chanticleer...
10:04Chanticleer?
10:07Chanticleer.
10:09I bet that's like a chicken.
10:11That's what it is.
10:12It's a chicken.
10:14I'll tell you something.
10:15I wouldn't mind a Chanticleer salad sandwich about now.
10:19No, just got here.
10:21Focus.
10:22No need to start the book right away.
10:24This is your life you're thinking about.
10:26Take some time.
10:26Think.
10:28What now?
10:30What now?
10:31What now for me?
10:33What now, my love?
10:34Who was that?
10:36Victor Moan.
10:37That's right.
10:38Victor Moan.
10:39Married to Diane Carroll.
10:41Or was it Diane Cannon?
10:43Nope.
10:44Nope.
10:45She was married to Cary Grant.
10:47I wonder if Hugh Grant is related to Cary Grant.
10:54All right.
10:55Think about your life.
10:57Hugh Grant's doing great.
11:00I would have thought that hooker thing would have hurt him.
11:05Well, the press is pretty forgiving when it comes to people's sex lives.
11:13All right.
11:14All right.
11:14You've got a life to figure out.
11:16One more crack at the book.
11:18Walden chapter one.
11:19I do not propose to read this book right now.
11:39Hey.
11:41Are you okay?
11:42Yeah.
11:43Fine.
11:43Just take it easy.
11:44I'm trying to think over here.
11:45That's what I'm doing.
11:46I'm thinking also.
11:48Well, actually, I'm reflecting.
11:49It's harder.
11:52I'm reading Walden.
11:54That's nice.
11:57Well, back to our thoughts.
12:03What?
12:06I didn't say anything.
12:07I thought I heard something.
12:09I don't know.
12:10I just...
12:11Look, I'm kind of going through a tough time right now.
12:14I left my job and...
12:20You left your job and what?
12:23Sometimes it's good to talk about these things.
12:26It was just a big mistake.
12:28That's all.
12:29I got mad.
12:30I said some things and...
12:32Now you don't know how to get your job back.
12:35Sounds to me like it's a little bit of false pride.
12:38Not the kind of thing you want to change your life for.
12:41So what do you do?
12:43Hmm?
12:44You suck it up.
12:45You put on your best coat and tie.
12:47You pick up a little apology gift.
12:49I'd go with a honey-baked ham.
12:51You walk in there and you say,
12:52I screwed up.
12:53I blew it.
12:53I'm sorry, but I want my job back.
12:57Maybe.
12:57Definitely.
12:58I know what I'm talking about.
13:00I ran a company in L.A. before I moved back here.
13:03I'd just gotten out of a relationship,
13:04so there was nothing really to keep me there,
13:08except for the job.
13:08And then where was the joy in that?
13:10What was I doing?
13:11I mean, was I helping anyone?
13:12Was I contributing?
13:14Was I letting my life just pass me by?
13:15Where was I going?
13:16Where did he go?
13:20Just as well.
13:21I need to get back to my thoughts.
13:27Here's a thought.
13:28I'm hungry.
13:47Hey.
13:48Hey.
13:52How you doing?
13:55All right.
13:59What?
14:02I didn't say anything.
14:04Oh.
14:05I thought I heard something.
14:07I don't know.
14:10Back to my book.
14:12Oh, Walden.
14:13I read that.
14:14Did you?
14:15Yeah.
14:16It sucks.
14:17Oh, well, it's not an easy read.
14:18No, it's got the ye olde language,
14:21which makes it difficult, definitely,
14:23to, uh...
14:25Yeah, it does suck.
14:28Why aren't you in school?
14:31Suspended.
14:34Why aren't you at work?
14:35Oh, that's a...
14:37It's a complicated question.
14:39I just wanted to do something deeper,
14:41more meaningful with my life.
14:44You want to throw tangerines at the statue?
14:46Yes, I do.
14:48Okay, first one ahead,
14:50old man Clark on the nose,
14:51one's a hamburger.
14:52All right, you got it.
14:53Although, this is not really fair,
14:55you know that?
14:55Why, because I'm a guy?
14:57No, because I've been throwing fruit
14:59at this guy since he was alive.
15:02Bingo.
15:07Bingo.
15:08Bingo.
15:10Wednesday's at 7.
15:11Huh, it changed it.
15:14Oh, hold on.
15:17All right, you two,
15:18put down the citrus fruit
15:19and move away from the tree, please.
15:22How great the cops.
15:23Don't worry about it.
15:24What can they do?
15:24Huh?
15:25No big deal.
15:26Uh-oh.
15:27This isn't good.
15:30Hey!
15:31B!
15:31Arthur!
15:32Hey, long time no see.
15:34Ellen Richman.
15:34Remember from this morning
15:35from the bedroom window?
15:36Oh, yeah, I remember.
15:38Boy, for someone who gets up so late,
15:39you sure don't waste any time
15:40when it comes to getting
15:41cops relocated, do you?
15:43Oh, well, about that.
15:44And I'm glad you brought it up also.
15:46I, I, specifically,
15:47I told them in the new location
15:49it should be an excellent,
15:50comfortable, shady,
15:51is what I specified.
15:52Oh, yeah, they're shaved.
15:53I'm right under that
15:54big honking oak tree now.
15:55Look, look at my helmet.
15:56It's covered in sap.
15:57Oh, that's different.
15:58I got an acorn down my shirt.
15:59Let me help you.
16:00No, no, no.
16:01You two are both going downtown.
16:04Downtown.
16:06Right here?
16:08Yes, ma'am.
16:23I'm getting water.
16:28Clark Police Station.
16:31Hmm?
16:35Yeah, no.
16:38Yes.
16:40Yeah, no.
16:58I'm sorry I got you in trouble.
17:00Ah, if I only would have read
17:01that stupid Walden.
17:03Yeah, I still think
17:04he's overrated.
17:06What's a Chanticleer, anyway?
17:09It's a rooster.
17:14Yeah, no, I know.
17:15You and I know, but...
17:20Overrated.
17:23Do you ever read
17:24any Hermann Hesse?
17:27Yeah, I think I read
17:28the start of one of his, yeah.
17:31Siddhartha's a really cool book.
17:35Why were you suspended, anyway?
17:38I threw an apple
17:39at the mascot.
17:41You have a hard time
17:42hanging on to fruit,
17:42don't you?
17:46Yeah, well,
17:46the mascot gives me
17:47the creeps.
17:48Yeah.
17:49Cougars shouldn't
17:50ride unicycles.
17:57So, when do you go back?
17:59Uh, well,
17:59it was supposed to be today,
18:00but I'm kind of thinking
18:02of blowing the whole thing off.
18:03School's so boring.
18:05Yes, it's boring.
18:06That's why it's called
18:07school and not Six Flags.
18:12You have to go back.
18:16Yeah, but...
18:17I don't even know
18:17what I want to do.
18:19You don't know
18:20what you want to do?
18:20Well, who knows
18:21what they want to do?
18:22Very, very few people,
18:23very few lucky people
18:24know what they want to do.
18:26You've got to be
18:26doing something
18:27until you figure out
18:28what it is you want to do.
18:30That makes sense.
18:33Yeah, it does.
18:36Yeah.
18:37You know,
18:37when I talk,
18:37it makes sense.
18:39When I'm quiet,
18:40I can't figure anything out,
18:41but when I...
18:47Do you know if Hugh Grant
18:48is related in any way
18:50to Cary Grant?
18:53Your mom's here.
18:55Besides,
18:56school's got to be better
18:57than being picked up
18:57by your mom
18:58at the police station.
18:59That's got to be
18:59embarrassing at your age.
19:01Ellen!
19:08Honest to Pete,
19:09when you have
19:10nothing to do,
19:11you cause so much trouble.
19:12Honest to God,
19:13making me come
19:14all the way downtown.
19:20Ellen,
19:21I am so glad
19:21that you decided
19:22to apply
19:23for the guidance
19:23counselor position.
19:24Well,
19:25it took six mosquito bites
19:26and some time
19:26in the slammer
19:27to figure it out,
19:28but I think
19:28I want to do it.
19:30Terrific.
19:31Now,
19:31just be aware,
19:32young lady,
19:32you'll get no special
19:33treatment from me.
19:34I'm going to treat you
19:34like any other applicant.
19:35Oh,
19:36I expect nothing less.
19:37All right,
19:37let's start.
19:37Name, please.
19:44Ellen.
19:48Ellen.
19:49Very pretty.
19:51Okay,
19:52this is ridiculous.
19:54Displayed a bit
19:55of attitude.
19:59I got you.
20:00You got me.
20:01Yeah,
20:01okay,
20:01I'm just fooling with you.
20:02Listen,
20:02come on,
20:03I want to show you
20:04the room that'll be
20:04your office
20:05and you're going
20:05to have to picture it
20:06now without the asbestos
20:07and the mops.
20:10There's no John,
20:11but it's near me.
20:12It's really handy to,
20:13excuse me,
20:15get that off your head.
20:18Hey,
20:19my friend from the stream.
20:20What are you doing here?
20:21Well,
20:21I took your advice
20:22and I'm here to get back
20:24my guidance counselor job.
20:28Oh,
20:29about that,
20:31let me tell you
20:32about the good folks
20:34at Claritin.
20:39Breakfast is ready,
20:41dear.
20:41No,
20:41Mom,
20:42I'm late.
20:42This is not my own company.
20:43I'm an employee
20:44and when that bell rings
20:45in three and a half minutes,
20:47I've got to be there.
20:48my daughter,
20:49the guidance counselor.
20:51Oh,
20:52almost forgot the coffee.
20:53Oh,
20:54maybe just a sip.
20:55Yeah.
20:57Nice to remember that.
20:58Yeah.
20:59Thank you, Dot.
21:00Sure.
21:00Oh,
21:00and Ellen,
21:01thank you for getting
21:02my post back.
21:03Well,
21:03thanks for dropping
21:04the charges.
21:04Hey,
21:05you watch my back,
21:06I won't watch yours.
21:08No.
21:11Hi,
21:11Ellen.
21:12I thought I'd bring you
21:13a little breakfast.
21:14Oh,
21:14I didn't know
21:15Bea Arthur was back.
21:19Well,
21:19I think a man on duty
21:20takes precedence
21:21over my sister.
21:23Thank you,
21:23Catherine.
21:24It's great to be back
21:25with the family.
21:27You protect
21:28and I'll serve.
21:34Okay,
21:35well,
21:35I better get going.
21:35See y'all later.
21:36Bye.
21:37Go get them,
21:37babe.
21:38You're gonna do great.
21:44Oh,
21:45for the love of God.
21:46Hey,
21:46let it burn.
21:47Wanna pull over,
21:48please.
22:14I'll see you next time.
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