The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:01Who you with?
00:17Look at this, America.
00:19It's Nessa's test scores.
00:21Seems so small, doesn't it?
00:22But Bernie Mac had to work long and hard for this.
00:26Tell him, Nessa, how hard you made me work for this.
00:29Tell him.
00:30Can we just open it now?
00:31No, no.
00:32Come on, come on.
00:32America loves my stories, Nessa.
00:34Go ahead and tell them.
00:35Tell them what happened.
00:36They'll love it.
00:38Okay, well, I had...
00:43I can't do this.
00:49Well, I'll tell you, America,
00:50because y'all don't change up on me like some people around here.
00:56Ooh, Nessa, wash that pot for me right quick, okay?
00:59No, and tell your brother to come in for dinner.
01:01Thank you, sweetheart.
01:05Hey, Jordan, come in.
01:06It's dinner time.
01:07In a minute.
01:08No, now, Jordan.
01:10Uncle Bernie said so.
01:11And I said in a minute.
01:15Fine.
01:15Stay out there.
01:16I'll let Uncle Bernie deal with you.
01:18Did you see that, America?
01:21Basically, Joy just challenged her authority.
01:24And as far as I was concerned, at the time, that was a Nessa problem.
01:28Along with the problems she was having at her new job.
01:36I said nonfat double mocha grande cappuccino with soy milk, extra cinnamon, and nutmeg on the side.
01:42Yes, ma'am.
01:42I can taste the fat in it.
01:45Oh, well, look, somehow you picked up the wrong cup.
01:49You gave me the wrong cup.
01:52You're probably right.
01:54Please accept a fat-free biscotti and your properly prepared drink as an apology.
02:11Wow, so this is your new laptop.
02:13Sweet.
02:15What are you doing?
02:17I'm just going to AOL.
02:18They have a link to Moviefone.
02:20I had to buy some tickets, and your computer's way faster than mine.
02:23I'm busy.
02:24You won't even know I'm here.
02:26Score!
02:27How do I get to Tarzana?
02:29Ah, MapQuest.
02:32Hey, I almost had my ticket.
02:34Jordan, I'm busy.
02:35Now go use your own computer.
02:37But I'm already here, and yours is faster.
02:39I said no.
02:41Goodbye.
02:43Fine.
02:52Touch it, and I will hurt you.
03:12Did you see it, America?
03:14Jordan getting physical.
03:15I never thought I'd see this day.
03:17You remember when the lad first got here?
03:20Pathetic.
03:20Some of y'all even sent in money.
03:23America, let's just take a look at it.
03:27Little baby.
03:29Hey, you talking about me?
03:31Hey, hey, hey.
03:32Take it easy.
03:34I thought me and you had an understanding.
03:36Sorry.
03:37Yeah.
03:40That attitude right there.
03:42It's my own fault.
03:44America.
03:44Let me show you how it all got started.
03:48Wait.
03:49Yeah.
03:49You got to be ready.
03:51It won't be long for your sister to come hunting for you for revenge.
03:54Women don't play.
03:55I know.
03:56I got two sisters and a wife.
03:58You should have seen her face after I pushed her.
04:01Calm down.
04:02Calm down.
04:02I mean, I was just trying to hold myself back from hurting your Uncle Bernie.
04:06Well, if that's the case, you won't need these.
04:08You'll be fine, huh?
04:09Well, I'll hold on to these.
04:11I need an exercise regimen.
04:13Can something jump off?
04:15Oh, tiger.
04:23Listen.
04:24Word's gonna get around about what I did to Vanessa.
04:27But I just want you to know that me and you, we're cool.
04:30As long as you respect the boundaries.
04:32What are you talking about?
04:35Okay.
04:35However you want to play it, little sister.
04:51I don't see how they can be this bad.
04:54I studied really hard.
04:55I know, sweetie.
04:57But you know what?
04:58These are the PSATs and you can always take these again.
05:01This was my second time.
05:03I'm never gonna get into a good college with these scores.
05:08You see how the balance is off now, America?
05:11Boy is talking like he's tough.
05:13Vanessa, who is tough, is letting these test scores get the best of them.
05:17But my baby Wanda and I, we're a team.
05:20So she came through with a solution.
05:26It's an SAT prep course.
05:27Yeah.
05:28You know, I said they guarantee better scores or a money back.
05:31Um, I didn't say anything about the money back.
05:34Okay.
05:34Well, then it's not a guarantee.
05:36You know what?
05:37If you're willing, it's Thursday night.
05:39Of course she's willing.
05:40Thursday at what time?
05:417.30.
05:42Okay.
05:44Hey, baby girl.
05:45Jordan, come on, dinner time.
05:48Come on.
05:50Oh, my.
05:52What the hell is wrong with you?
05:54What?
05:55Am I the only one who's hot?
05:56Uh, yeah.
05:58Boy, get in there and put a shirt on for dinner time.
06:01Don't be afraid of the cuts, Uncle Bernie.
06:05What?
06:12Vanessa.
06:14There's an extra shift on Thursday.
06:15Would you like to cover it?
06:16This Thursday?
06:17Yeah, it's cool if you're busy.
06:21Well, what am I thinking?
06:22I can use the money.
06:23Of course I'll take you.
06:24Thanks, Vanessa.
06:25You are a really good worker.
06:27No, thank you.
06:28I just do my best.
06:30Coffee.
06:30I love it.
06:33Coffee.
06:41Hey, Vanessa.
06:42Hey, Vanessa.
06:43How'd it go?
06:44Honey, she didn't get her results yet.
06:45Come on.
06:46That's cool, babe.
06:46But she know how it felt, though.
06:48How'd it feel?
06:48I didn't go.
06:50I didn't go.
06:51What?
06:51Call the police.
06:53Honey, why didn't you go?
06:55Nigel offered me some overtime at work, so I decided to take a chance to make some extra
07:00money.
07:00But now I won't bother you guys when I need something.
07:03It's not a bother.
07:04We want you to take the SAT prep course so that you can-
07:08So there'll be no more extra shifts?
07:10Okay, okay.
07:11No more extra shifts.
07:20My weights are cool, but there's a full body burn.
07:23I'm getting my lats and my traps tight.
07:25So this little baby is my latest addition.
07:29Well, I'm proud of you, Jordan.
07:30I'm up to 10 chin-ups, Uncle Bernie.
07:32How many can you do?
07:3420?
07:34Maybe 30?
07:36No way.
07:37Let me see.
07:4310.
07:44Phew.
07:45I counted eight.
07:46Go to your horn.
07:49You see that, America?
07:50Boy's smelling himself a little.
07:52Plus, I had some pancakes.
07:54And I was worried about Vanessa.
07:56I didn't know what was going on with the girl.
07:58You saw the worry on my face.
08:00I'll just turn it a little, and then...
08:04What's going on, girls?
08:06Oh, Vanessa's just helping me out.
08:08She's awesome.
08:09Oh, I know.
08:09I know.
08:09Yeah.
08:10Vanessa, can I talk to you for a moment?
08:12Sure.
08:15What's up, Niger?
08:16I've been talking to corporate about you.
08:19Corporate?
08:19Remember Rodney from the Beverly Center?
08:21He just got bumped to regional manager.
08:23I'm trying to get over there and give you this store.
08:28But what about Dina?
08:29She has seniority.
08:31But you've got to stop.
08:32And I'm talking $4.50 a week, cha-cha.
08:36So you want your name put in the hopper or what?
08:37How about it?
08:39Yeah, sure.
08:40Thanks, Nigel.
08:43Uh, Jordan, that's a pretty big piece of chicken.
08:52Yeah, well, I'm a growing boy.
08:54I mean, I need to keep my protein up.
08:56Gotta feed the muscles.
08:57Okay, I understand that.
08:59But you know we usually save the big piece for your Uncle Bernie.
09:02Yeah, well, he's getting pretty old.
09:03I don't even think he could digest all this meat.
09:07Mmm, mmm.
09:08This smells good up in here.
09:10You outdid it, baby.
09:11And my favorite, fried chicken.
09:38You see that look, America?
09:40I mean, the boy acted like he was just gonna do something to me.
09:43He must have just clean lost his doggone mind.
09:47Boy, tell the people where your mind went right then and there.
09:51I was just hungry.
09:53Okay, just hungry.
09:54Just hungry almost got you.
09:56Just hurting.
09:57Maybe I was thinking about our game.
10:00What game?
10:03All right, big man.
10:04So you can do ten pull-ups, huh?
10:06All right.
10:08Show them what you got.
10:09Come on.
10:10Come on.
10:11Come on.
10:11Oh, oh, oh.
10:12What do you think?
10:15Best two out of three?
10:22What?
10:24I'm just telling America the story.
10:3325.
10:34Exactly.
10:35Write that down.
10:35You knew that.
10:37Hello?
10:38This is Mack.
10:39This is Wanda Mack.
10:40Is Vanessa dropping the test prep course?
10:42Oh, no.
10:43It must be some mistake.
10:44I knew that she missed the first class, but I thought she was gonna take her makeup.
10:48Well, the makeup date was tonight.
10:49Oh.
10:50Okay.
10:52Well, did she come at all?
10:53No, she didn't.
10:54No.
10:55Would you like to be scheduled, ma'am?
10:57Let me talk to my husband and I'll call you back, okay?
11:00Thanks for calling.
11:01Okay, fine.
11:03What's wrong, Aunt Wanda?
11:05We might have to bury your sister.
11:10She was right, America.
11:11She's already killed somebody.
11:13Can you see this little thing?
11:15Can you see it?
11:16Is it vain, Papa?
11:18I'm thinking about it.
11:19Still maybe wanna kill somebody.
11:21Kill you dead.
11:22Kill you.
11:25I can't believe you, Nessa.
11:27Nessa, you...
11:29Give me that.
11:31What the heck is wrong with you?
11:32You out there lying?
11:33Got me and your aunt worried to death?
11:35Thinking you someplace that you're not?
11:36You should be happy.
11:38I'm supporting myself.
11:39And if I keep it up, I'll be making $4.50 a week.
11:42Girl, I know you got better sense than that.
11:45Plus, I already done told you what's gonna make me happy.
11:47And that's you getting better grades.
11:49And you getting accepted to a good college.
11:51But what about what makes me happy?
11:53What about it?
11:54You got plenty of time to think about that.
11:56But meanwhile, while you're living in this house,
11:58it's about what makes me happy.
12:02Yeah, well, when I get my promotion,
12:04I'm moving out of your house.
12:05Because I'm not going to college.
12:08What?
12:17You heard her?
12:19Huh.
12:19She went from lying to being too honest.
12:22America, Bernie Mac head is spinning right now.
12:25Hold on a sec, because the story gets better.
12:28Let me call in here,
12:29because I still want to know what she was thinking right then.
12:31Yo, Nessa!
12:33What?
12:34It's time now.
12:35I'm gonna open up your score to show America what's going on.
12:38What you got?
12:41Okay, let's see then.
12:42All right.
12:43But before I do that, America and I still want to know
12:46what was going on in your mind that day you told me
12:48that you were gonna move out and you're not going to college.
12:52I mean, I'm still in shock.
12:54Help us all out.
13:00Y'all keep watching.
13:02You hear?
13:19Hold on one minute.
13:20I want to give you something, Nessa.
13:23What's this?
13:24Um, these are your bills.
13:27What are you talking about?
13:28Well, Nessa, I was figuring.
13:30Since you're all grown up now and you're making lots of money,
13:32you can start paying part of your bills.
13:35You know, get a taste of the real world.
13:37You know?
13:37Carrying your own weight, so to speak.
13:40You still got to pay your own rent.
13:42Now tell her you don't want to go to college.
13:46You have a good one.
13:48You have a good one.
13:49She's a good one.
14:03She's a good one.
14:14Mr. Big Stuff.
14:16You're never gonna make me cry.
14:19Mr. Big Stuff.
14:20Tell me just who do you think you are.
14:24Mr. Big Stuff.
14:27You're never gonna get my love.
14:29Mr. Big Stuff.
14:32You're never gonna break my heart.
14:34Mr. Big Stuff.
14:36Hey, Jordan.
14:37Come on, man.
14:38Time to come in.
14:38Good shot.
14:39Good shot.
14:40In a minute.
14:41Come on, man.
14:42You heard him, right, America?
14:44I mean, the boy lost his rabid-ass mind.
14:48In a minute.
14:49You heard him.
14:50In a minute.
14:52Y'all got to see this.
14:54He gonna squab like a stroke.
15:03Hey, Jordan, man.
15:05Can you hear me, James?
15:06Come in.
15:07I said I'm coming, Uncle Boy.
15:08Just one more shot.
15:09No, wait, wait, wait, wait.
15:10Ain't no last shot.
15:11No more shots.
15:13When I say come in, come in.
15:14Now put the ball down and come in.
15:19Jordan, don't shoot that ball.
15:22Jay, I'm telling you, dude.
15:24Don't shoot that ball.
15:24I pity the food.
15:27Don't.
15:30Excuse me.
15:30Is this the McCullough residence?
15:32Yeah.
15:33Supposed to install a new line and a cable box.
15:35Ain't no cable box.
15:36See, you got the wrong house.
15:36Uh, no.
15:38There's the address.
15:39Box is gonna be registered to Vanessa Tompkins.
15:42Is she here?
15:43No, she ain't here, man.
15:44So take your box and your order.
15:46Get back to your truck, man.
15:47Ain't nobody getting no box up in here.
15:49And I'll deal with you later.
15:51Well, you believe that.
16:03Nessa, get your stuff.
16:04You quit.
16:05What?
16:06You quit.
16:06We're going home.
16:07I ain't got time to play with you.
16:08Let's go now.
16:09Excuse me, sir.
16:09Can I help you?
16:10No, you cannot help me.
16:11It has nothing to do with you.
16:12I'm taking my niece and we're going home.
16:13You'll have to hire somebody else.
16:15You can't make me quit.
16:16No, I can't make you quit.
16:18But I can't report him for hiring a minor and letting her work overtime.
16:21Am I right?
16:22Because that is what you're doing.
16:23Am I right?
16:25Get your stuff.
16:27Come on.
16:27You know, there's no reason for this to go beyond the two of us.
16:31If you'd like some gift certificates, call me anytime.
16:35Yeah.
16:36Come on.
16:50Come on.
16:50Come on.
16:51Come on.
16:51Come on.
16:51Come on.
16:51Come on.
16:53Come on.
16:54Come on.
16:55Come on.
16:55Come on.
16:55Come on.
16:56Come on.
16:57Come on.
16:57Come on.
16:57Come on.
16:57Come on.
16:59Come on.
17:03Come on.
17:05Come on.
17:06Come on.
17:07to take your mind off the fact that you're not doing
17:09what you need to be doing.
17:11Well, what about this house?
17:12You have nice things.
17:14Are you afraid of something?
17:16Girl, I sure am.
17:18See, I'm afraid I might lose my patience
17:21if you don't lose your tone.
17:24Nessa, you just think about what I just said,
17:27and you know I'm right.
17:31You know I'm right.
17:34That's real nice.
17:36Real nice.
17:46Oh, this phone is not people friendly.
17:51Aunt Wanda.
17:52Yeah?
17:53What's so great about college?
17:59Well, sweetie?
18:01College is what you make it.
18:04You know, it's a time to explore some things that you could be
18:08and to discover some things about yourself you didn't know.
18:11How long have you been rehearsing that answer?
18:14Since you skipped the first prep class.
18:18Now that I've said that out loud, I can tell you the truth.
18:22College is a place where you can sharpen your mind
18:26and you can gain skills that can make you, oh, so unstoppable in this world.
18:33You're already so smart.
18:35That sounds like the first answer.
18:38Yeah.
18:39But I mean it.
18:42Yeah, well, Uncle Bernie thinks I'm afraid of something.
18:48Your uncle's a smart man, and he said some things that felt real to you, didn't he?
18:54So you think he's right?
18:57Mm-hmm.
18:58Yeah.
18:59And so do you.
19:02Forgive me, America, but when your wife drops some pearls and wisdom
19:06and has your back at the same time, that's good lovin'.
19:11Bernie Mac is in a house full of love.
19:15Real love.
19:18How you doing, Jay?
19:20Ugh.
19:21Hold on.
19:22Ugh.
19:22Gotta get that Bernie.
19:24You remember, don't you, Uncle Bernie?
19:25Sure.
19:26You think I don't?
19:27You know what else I remember?
19:29What?
19:30Playing basketball, baseball, and football.
19:32I was really good in those sports, but what really was my sport, you know what that was?
19:35What?
19:37Boxing.
19:38Here.
19:39You know, Jay, there come a time in a man's life when he...
19:42Put him on.
19:42Go ahead.
19:43Put him on.
19:43When a man want to pass down what he knows to his son or his nephew.
19:47No?
19:48I don't know, Uncle Bernie.
19:49Sure you know.
19:50You've been walking around here like a man, have you?
19:52I mean, but doesn't your back start?
19:54No, my back fine.
19:55Come on, stand up.
19:57I'll show you some movement.
19:59All right.
19:59All right.
20:00The first thing you do, let me see how you stand.
20:02Put your hands up like this.
20:04Keep your head behind the glove, okay?
20:05Kneel down a little bit.
20:06Okay?
20:08All right.
20:09Ow.
20:10Ow.
20:12Ow.
20:12Man, your defense is weak, dude.
20:14Real weak.
20:14I'll have to show you some moves.
20:17What?
20:19I'm cool, Cabrini.
20:22So that's how I restored balance, America.
20:24The boy's growing up, but he knows his place.
20:28And Nessa, well, let's see.
20:32Come on in, Nessa.
20:34We're gonna whoop him up now.
20:36For real this time?
20:38Are you still afraid?
20:40Yeah, I am.
20:42But?
20:43But I'm not gonna let that stop me.
20:45All right.
20:48Here.
20:49Here.
21:06Excuse us, America.
21:08Nessa feeling a little vulnerable right now.
21:10Cut the camera off.
21:12That we've sit down and talked things over.
21:15I'm proud.
21:19And the worried feeling.
21:25What the?
21:27This is some boo.
21:32Y'all some dirty moes.
21:34Y'all some dirty moes.
21:35Y'all some dirty moes.
21:36Y'all some dirty moes.
21:40Y'all some dirty moes.
21:46All right.
21:46All right, all right.
21:47Well, Maya, I've been wondering, all right?
21:49We just said, Patty want one more.
21:51I said, what the heck Patty want one more for?
21:53You
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