- 5 days ago
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00:06and so we commit to the ground the earthly remains of doris haviland ashes to ashes and dust to dust
00:15oh that's kind of a downer i didn't write it
00:22just just let him finish don't you think we should say something we barely knew her
00:26well we can beat dust to dust i'd like to say something please
00:35dearly beloved it's it's just me darling when you're dear and you're beloved
00:42doris haviland lived in our building she was a neighbor in the truest sense of the word she was
00:49a person who lived near us
00:55in our building
00:58that was beautiful
01:01greg do you want to say anything no no you
01:03clearly knew her better than i did
01:05and now let us bow our heads and uh bid uh farewell silently
01:13to doris your journey has come to an end
01:26i don't think so
01:46i'm sorry honey go back to sleep
01:48it's just a ghost
02:13it sounded like you had a pretty spooky dream last night oh boy it was awful thank god doris's
02:18ghost woke me up
02:21uh-huh so do you want to do something today maybe see a movie oh maybe when i get back
02:25yeah where
02:26are you going well i have to go to the post office and buy some stamps and then i thought
02:29i'd help the landlord pack up doris's stuff and see if i can't figure out why she is haunting the
03:02physical realm
03:03i don't know what made her collect hats i don't know maybe uh stamps didn't keep her head warm
03:12what is that smell menthols doris smoked menthols look her last pack not even finished
03:20yeah that's usually the way it works
03:23what exactly are you are you looking for i told you greg doris has some unfinished business that's
03:29keeping her spirit from moving on and i have to find it
03:32there's no ghost you had a dream
03:35what about seeing doris in the graveyard how do you explain it the same way i explained it when
03:39it happened you saw a statue lit up by lightning no greg you saw a statue lit up by lightning
03:44i saw doris
03:46oh my god look unfinished business she's tethered to this earthly plane because she didn't pick up her
03:53dry cleaning you would be the only thing hanging around here is 40 years of cigarette smoke there
04:01are no ghosts goblins vampires demonic black cats or anything okay so there's a cat
04:13it doesn't seem like unfinished business i know that's what i thought ordinary dry cleaning all
04:19right okay how about this needlepoint now okay if at first you don't suck
04:27well i certainly hope that's unfinished business
04:31yeah it's probably not enough to keep her spirit roaming the earth i doubt it she'd come to you for
04:36something you could do well i needlepoint oh of course you do darling this is really good
04:44hello hello oh kitty uh yeah the door is open what's she doing here she called she wants to borrow
04:52some clothes come on what's she really doing here she wanted to borrow something oh hello dear hi hi i'm
05:00sorry to come in the back way but there's a rather large hole in your front yard yeah sorry about
05:04that
05:05larry's digging a y2k shelter isn't that resourceful yeah when all the computers in the world stop
05:12working he and i can go out and lie down in the hole well an ounce of prevention anyway about
05:20the clothes
05:21you really are borrowing my mom's clothes why is that so odd okay yeah kitty that is so odd well
05:27your mother
05:28always looks very comfortable and i just thought that um oh heck edward and i have been invited to
05:36a costume party and i thought we would go as a couple of old hippies oh i hope i haven't
05:42offended you
05:43no why should i be offended you just want to wear my everyday clothes as a halloween costume yes
05:49yes yeah well okay let's go look just hope i can find something that's not way too big for you
05:58in the
05:58bust oh i don't want to miss this
06:09honey why are you still up oh greg this is so sad what are you reading doris's diary
06:16she never married greg i think she died a virgin too bad you didn't know that it would have added
06:22some color to the eulogy listen to this listen december 6 1941 good news fred will be home on leave
06:31soon i've decided to give myself to him fully i'll finally know what it means to be a woman
06:37also looking forward to hear more wonderful stories about pearl harbor
06:45tough break well listen three weeks later still can't stop thinking about fred mother suggested i
06:53cheer myself up with a new hat sounds like a good idea come on let's go to bed
07:00i'm finally going to lose my virginity my cousin nancy fixed me up with a handsome young actor a mr
07:07rock hudson
07:18hey handsome how'd you like a ride on the old gray mare are you smoking i don't know why don't
07:29you take a look
07:37good morning
07:39good morning
07:55out of my mind all right what happened last night come on the sex was unbelievable it was more
08:00than unbelievable it was it was circus sex
08:06last night i didn't know where you were going with the hat and the cigarette but i'm glad you took
08:11me with you
08:13i was smoking a cigarette
08:16you're you're you're kidding right no i don't know what you're
08:24oh my i know what happened doris's unfinished business
08:38what she never had sex greg so she possessed my body no i see where this is going
08:46so she can have sex with you nope that's not it abby said she'd come to me for something i
08:51was good at
08:54oh isn't this wonderful great we helped her lose her virginity no darma listen to me you've been
09:00going through this woman's stuff you've been staying up all night reading her diary don't
09:04you see what's happening here yes you and i helped deflower a dead woman okay so no you don't get
09:12what's
09:12happening here doris if you can hear me i am so happy for you greg's good i wasn't good
09:21stop it you are always good i bet she comes back for more
09:27are you uncomfortable yes i'm very uncomfortable with this
09:31well greg if that's how you feel don't you think you should say something to her
09:34don't i can't talk to doris she's dead which is why we have seances knucklehead uncle abby no no
09:42seance okay i can't believe you you take a poor dead woman's virginity and now you won't talk to her
09:48shape doris we're calling doris calling her for an hour she's either not there or she's
10:05maybe the problem is someone's not focused okay everybody let's just take a deep cleansing breath
10:14and open our hearts to make doris feel welcome because remember as strange as this is for us
10:20it's even stranger for doris i don't think so
10:25let's just clear our minds of all thought done doris if you can hear my voice give us a sign
10:52i got nothing because there is no ghost okay perhaps you would like to explain to the group how
11:00you had the greatest sex of your life and i never woke up go ahead greg
11:11maybe subconsciously you felt guilty because you never got to know this old woman and that's what
11:15caused last night's business oh come on dharma i feel guilty too it's terrible how we ignore old
11:24people but let's face it we're busy we we don't have time to hear about their surgeries or how their
11:28kids never call her or how much a tuna fish sandwich cost in 1923 i said it's terrible
11:41well what do you think dharma do you think it could be an expression of your guilt
11:45i don't know abby that sounds a little i think what probably happened is that
11:51after doris had sex she was ready to move on my kind of woman oh wow who else heard that
12:02oh she sounds scary it's my mother larry i know who it is
12:23war is bad give me a handout
12:28okay the chevy is definitely in the levee now
12:32what are you doing well we are getting down with our funky selves
12:36nespa nespa
12:39your mom's borrowing my perkenstock skirt
12:42we're going to a costume party don't we look silly
12:47abby when was the last time you wore this tuesday
12:53the shoes are on the bed kitty splendid hang loosely edward
13:00what are you playing we're having a seance to talk to a dead woman your son had sex with
13:08it's none of my business darma but if the woman's dead can't this be water under the bridge
13:15well she was dead when he had sex with her
13:20we used to play a lot of cribbage in the army
13:24one of the fellas made a board out of a gun butt he drilled little holes in it and
13:28uh use toothpicks as pigs all set let's go
13:35uh
13:35uh
13:36uh
13:36uh
14:03I don't know.
14:06I don't know.
14:10Dharma?
14:18Dharma?
14:25Dharma?
14:28Dharma?
14:28I do not know.
14:35I do not know.
14:35I do not know.
14:36I do not know.
14:41I do not know.
14:46Are you out here?
14:56Darma?
15:09Darma?
15:17Darma?
15:24Hey!
15:26Pete, what are you doing here?
15:28I was sleeping.
15:30With the garbage?
15:32Sorry, all the dead chicks were taken.
15:38Me and Jane had a fight.
15:40What are you doing?
15:42Don't!
15:45Hey.
15:47I'm sorry.
15:48Really?
15:49Yeah.
15:53Here's your pillow.
15:57Jane, wait, wait, have you seen Darma?
16:00No, why?
16:00Well, I woke up and she was gone.
16:02Oh, God!
16:07Darn cat.
16:09Come on.
16:24Well, there she is.
16:26Gotta go.
16:30What took you so long?
16:32Dharma, what are you doing down here?
16:35Dharma's not here.
16:36So whatever happens is between you and me.
16:41Oh, come on, Dharma.
16:46Cut it out.
16:48If you're not coming to Mama, then Mama's coming to you.
16:57Dharma, you're sleeping now. So please wake up.
17:01No, God.
17:04Clap on.
17:09You didn't have time for me when I was alive.
17:12And now we're together till death do us part.
17:16And I'm already dead.
17:20Dharma.
17:22Wake up.
17:25Wake up!
17:33I'm looking at you.
17:37This ought to be interesting.
17:50Dad!
17:55Honey, are you okay?
17:56Yeah, I'm fine.
17:58Where are you going?
18:00Not important.
18:04I guess that explains why you're not wearing pants.
18:07Okay, look, there are two possible things going on here.
18:11The first, and more likely, is that Dharma and I are feeling a little bit guilty for not having gotten
18:17to know you better when you were alive.
18:20The second possibility, which is kind of out there, and the one that brings me by, is that I may
18:28have, without realizing it, led you on somehow.
18:37Anyway, I just want you to know that I'm married to a wonderful woman, a living woman, and I hope
18:47that you and I can still be friends.
18:57Hello.
18:59Getting a lot of rain, huh?
19:01Yeah, I suppose.
19:04Uh, listen.
19:06I, um, I, uh, I don't want us just to talk about the weather and go our separate ways. I,
19:12I want us to spend time together, make a real connection.
19:16Uh, I'm not a gay.
19:22Me neither.
19:24Um, what about, what about breakfast? Just, just the two of us.
19:29Please let go.
19:32Your, your kid's calling you enough?
19:37I hear you, Doris, and I understand you're upset, but if Greg doesn't want to continue in that kind of
19:44relationship, I think you have to respect that.
19:52Wait a minute, I have another idea that might work for everyone.
20:04They must have let the faucet on a long time, when they poured a drink of water like you.
20:14Kitty?
20:16The name's Doris, but what do you say we have a little fun with Kitty's body, hmm?
20:30Well, that's a long shot, but I'm game.
20:36That's a long shot, but I'm game.
20:53What about relates to but he's used to be, oh, my God.
20:54That's a long shot!
20:56We scale ourBill...
20:56Let's try ourlassen!
20:56We explore the pattern!
20:57Now, we start saying this happen!
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