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00:00Go ahead.
00:01Yeah, that's it.
00:03Arg, matey, guess what this is?
00:07Some kind of pirate radio setup.
00:10Guess the arg, matey gave it away, huh?
00:13Hey, Greg, guess what this is?
00:17I have no idea.
00:19It's a complete two-watt radio station.
00:22Yeah, we thought this would be fun for Dharma to play with while she was recuperating.
00:26Sure helped me through the summer of 82 when I couldn't leave the house.
00:31Remember that, Dharma?
00:32Sure.
00:33The air was too thick and the ground was too soft.
00:35Oh.
00:37Sure, 82?
00:39Hey, you want to do a radio show with me?
00:41We can beat the Deaster and the G-Man on the Big Rock and Weasel!
00:45I don't think so, Dharma.
00:47Oh, that kind of attitude is going to ruin Rocktober, G-Man.
00:51You guys realize this is against the law?
00:53You have to have a license from the FCC to broadcast.
00:55Well, this is pretty small time, Greg.
00:59But, Dharma, if you do get caught, don't panic and try to flush the equipment.
01:06First of all, that was an illegal cable box.
01:09And I was trying to hide it behind the toilet.
01:12It fell in.
01:14Okay, then when it dried out, we got show time.
01:33You're listening to Radio Dharma.
01:35All Dharma, all the time.
01:36You give me 22 minutes, I'll give you the Dharma.
01:41Radio Dharma.
01:42Radio Dharma.
01:47Morning, Greg.
01:48Morning, Marcy.
01:49I'm a wacky sidekick.
01:53So, I see.
01:54You guys really think anybody's listening?
01:55Oh, yeah.
01:56Tons of people.
01:56We checked.
01:57You could pick us up all the way down to the laundromat.
02:00That's right.
02:01It's the all-rap and all-rock and mega music station where you get weather on the half-hour,
02:04traffic on the ones, and continuous hit music, music, music, music.
02:10I'm going to get some coffee, coffee, coffee.
02:13All right.
02:14And back to our contest question.
02:16Would you rather be hit on the fire or have a sit on your?
02:25Again, our number is 857-234.
02:28Dharma, we have a caller.
02:30We have a caller.
02:34You're on the air.
02:35Please turn down your radio.
02:37Hi, this is Dave.
02:38I love your show.
02:39I'm a long-time listener, first-time caller.
02:41What?
02:42Could you play some Springsteen?
02:44Oh, you know what, Dave?
02:45I would love to, but we only have the reel-to-reel hooked up, so our selection is limited.
02:50Abby and Dharma sing Wheels on the Bus.
02:53Oh, check this out.
02:54It's a tape of my father's band rehearsing.
02:56I never knew he recorded anything.
02:59Dead ear.
03:00Dead ear.
03:00It's dead, dead, dead, dead, dead.
03:03And the Moody Blues recorded off the Mike Douglas show, August 5th, 1972.
03:07Wow, 72.
03:08That's when Peter Frampton was with the Moody Blues.
03:10Let's hear that.
03:11Coming right up.
03:12Peter Frampton never sang with the Moody Blues.
03:14He sure did, dude.
03:15Uh, uh, you're out of your mind.
03:19Uh, the opinions of my husband, Greg, do not necessarily reflect those of the station,
03:23the management, or my wacky sidekick.
03:26Uh, uh, okay, 1972, Moody Blues, 7th Sojourn.
03:29No Peter Frampton.
03:30Got the CD right here.
03:31The CD's not gonna help you, dude.
03:33They removed his name when they reissued it.
03:35Contractual reasons.
03:36Oh, that is a load of bull.
03:39Greg, we are on the air.
03:42All right, this is some very exciting radio people.
03:45Frampton or no Frampton.
03:46You be the judge.
03:47Here are the Moody Blues.
03:51Wheels on the bus go round and round and round and
03:59Greg, we should go if we're gonna get 18 in.
04:01Hold on.
04:03Yes, 72, Moody Blues, no Frampton.
04:06Well, there you have it.
04:12Oh, wow.
04:13That's not mine.
04:15No, it's mine.
04:17I've been looking for this for 20 years.
04:19You know, they don't make these anymore.
04:21Well, that's just a damn shame.
04:23Look at that.
04:25Been rolled up in a ball all this time.
04:26Not a wrinkle.
04:33The fish around in that box, Greg, there should be a pair of
04:35burnt orange hush puppies.
04:37Oh.
04:39I wonder what got into your mother there.
04:41I can't imagine.
04:47Hey.
04:48Hey.
04:50Listen to this.
04:56Gordon Lightfoot?
04:57Nope.
04:59That's my father.
05:01You're kidding.
05:02No.
05:03It's good.
05:04I know.
05:04It's our number one most requested song.
05:06Really?
05:08A guy called in and said, play it again.
05:13That's really good.
05:15You know, Larry always said he was a pretty good musician,
05:17but I never took him seriously, you know?
05:19I mean, he also said he was the Gerber baby,
05:21and that once he taught a monkey to fish, so.
05:24I mean, I had very different childhoods, didn't I?
05:28He really was a good musician.
05:30You gotta wonder what happened.
05:32You know how it is.
05:33People get busy, they start a career.
05:38No, that's not it.
05:39No, probably not.
05:47Edward, where are you going?
05:49Uh, Bob Gunderson's thinking about selling his boat,
05:51I thought I'd take a look.
05:53And do we really think we want to present ourselves
05:57to the public in this?
06:00We're comfortable in this.
06:04Oh, Edward Montgomery.
06:06You know, if I let you do things
06:07just because you're comfortable,
06:09why, you'd spend your day
06:10sitting in a Lazy Boy recliner
06:12watching a large-screen television
06:13sipping beer out of a can.
06:16If I change my clothes, can I have a Lazy Boy?
06:20Of course not.
06:22I'll say hi to Bob Gunderson for you.
06:25Oh, by the way, I'm not wearing underwear.
06:27I don't know why I ever did.
06:37Hello?
06:39Uh, no, they turned off the radio station.
06:42Because my wife had to go to physical therapy.
06:47Yes, they can turn it off
06:49because it's not a real radio station.
06:52Fine, write a letter.
06:54I'm not going to put a record on.
06:56Actually, you know what?
06:58There is a record I want to play.
07:06Uh, okay.
07:10Here are the Moody Blues
07:11from their album, Seven Sojourn,
07:13on the original vinyl,
07:16which does not feature Mr. Peter Frampton,
07:19something known to anyone capable of tying his own shoes.
07:23and I think you know who you are
07:24and I think you owe me an apology.
07:30Hello?
07:32Oh, why, why, why, thank you, ma'am.
07:34Uh, w-would you mind saying that on the air?
07:37Uh, hold on.
07:42Uh, uh, go ahead.
07:43Okay.
07:44I just wanted to say I was listening yesterday
07:46and I really liked the way you handled that guy.
07:49Oh, well, he didn't do his homework.
07:52Oh, we need people like you
07:54to drown out these other idiots
07:55who love to just run their mouths off.
07:59Well, I, I, I'm just one guy,
08:00but I do what I can.
08:01They're all a bunch of crackpots.
08:03Elvis is alive.
08:05Cigarettes cause lung cancer.
08:07I see spaceships.
08:08Oh, wait, hold on there.
08:10I think it's pretty widely accepted
08:12that cigarettes do cause lung cancer.
08:14Says you.
08:17Well, yes, and 40 years of research.
08:20By doctors who are paid shills
08:22of the chewing gum industry.
08:29Hold on.
08:30Uh, or don't.
08:33Hello?
08:34Wow, what a wacko, huh?
08:37Takes all kinds.
08:38You want to talk about a conspiracy?
08:39Let's talk about Major League Baseball
08:41juicing up the ball to get more home runs.
08:43Well, how do you know it's the ball?
08:44Maybe they're just getting better players.
08:46It's the same guys,
08:47only now they're hitting more home runs.
08:49Look at the stats.
08:55It's an interesting question.
08:57Major League Baseball,
08:58are they juicing the ball?
08:59What do you think?
09:00Give me a call.
09:02And while we wait,
09:03here are the Moody Blues,
09:04who, being English,
09:05are probably not baseball fans,
09:06but might enjoy rounders.
09:09The English game from which baseball
09:11is derived.
09:21Oh, wow.
09:22I used to love that song.
09:25Who is that?
09:27It's you, Larry.
09:29Oh, wow.
09:30Oh, wow.
09:30Yeah.
09:32Hey, Harry.
09:33Listen to that.
09:35Your old man wrote that.
09:37So, Harry,
09:38did you ever do gigs?
09:39Did you ever get up on stage
09:40and yell,
09:41Hello, San Francisco!
09:43Closest I ever got was,
09:44Hello, Shapiro Bar Mitzvah!
09:47Oh, man.
09:48They did this 26-minute
09:50free-form Hava Nagila.
09:54It's a tough one to end.
09:56You should have seen your father
09:57in those days, Dharma.
09:58He loved performing.
10:00He would get on stage
10:01and just light up.
10:03Once.
10:04And everyone did back then.
10:07So, why did you quit?
10:09You know, music.
10:11Let me explain something to you
10:12about the music business, Dharma.
10:13You can't get anywhere
10:14unless you're willing
10:15to sell your soul
10:16to corporate America
10:17for a sack of magic beans,
10:19a handshake,
10:19and a one-way ticket
10:21to Where Are You Now?
10:22How?
10:23Phil.
10:27Abby, why did he really stop?
10:29Well, he was just starting out
10:31and he knew he'd be on the road
10:33and you were on the way.
10:35He gave it all up because of me?
10:37No.
10:38Gave it all up for you.
10:44How is that better?
10:45That is not better!
10:50The running suit, Gregory.
10:52The ugly orange velour running suit.
10:55He was with you when he found it
10:57and he has not taken it off since.
11:01Wow.
11:02So, what do you think, people?
11:03Is Dad out of line
11:04or should Mother take a chill pill?
11:05Our lines are open.
11:07What people?
11:08Who are you talking to, Gregory?
11:10Sorry, Mother.
11:10It's the top of the hour.
11:11Gotta go.
11:13Time for As I See It
11:15with Greg Montgomery.
11:16This is San Francisco, folks,
11:17and it rains from time to time.
11:19If you're a local television station,
11:21there's no need to send
11:22your weatherman outside.
11:23We know what rain looks like.
11:24Just tell us it's raining
11:26and do it from a regular desk,
11:28not from Action Storm Watch Central.
11:34And remember, folks,
11:36we've got 99 years to go.
11:38Let's not be hasty
11:39in naming something
11:40the storm of the century.
11:43Think about that
11:44while Mr. Leo Sayer
11:46makes you feel like dancing.
11:55Nice!
11:57Hey, check this out.
12:00Every Monday night
12:02is open mic night
12:03at Positively 4th Street.
12:04Well, that's great.
12:05I'll give him a plug
12:06on the town
12:06with Greg Montgomery.
12:09Oh, I'm thinking
12:11a little father-daughter dinner
12:12with Larry.
12:14Pull out the old guitar
12:15and then bing, bang, boom,
12:17he's back in the music business.
12:20How exactly is that
12:21going to happen?
12:22I have no idea.
12:23That's why I said
12:24bing, bang, boom
12:24instead of something specific.
12:28Wow, that was good.
12:31Promise you won't tell Abby
12:32I had meat.
12:34That was eggplant, Larry.
12:36Oh, man,
12:37I could have had meat.
12:40Guess what?
12:40They have an open mic night
12:41going on here.
12:42Cool.
12:43There is not one dessert here
12:45you could add meat to.
12:47I signed you up.
12:49To sing here?
12:50Yeah, I'm thinking
12:51you'd get back on stage,
12:52you know, work your songs,
12:54get your chops back.
12:55Oh, hang on.
12:55I don't even have my guitar.
12:57It's in the car.
12:58I'll go get it.
12:59No, stop.
12:59Wait.
13:01Take a look at these people.
13:02They don't want to hear
13:03from an old guy like me.
13:05Larry, it's open mic night.
13:06Nobody wants to hear
13:07from any of these people.
13:12Sorry.
13:13Rock along.
13:15Donna.
13:16I'm not going to sing.
13:17I haven't rehearsed.
13:19I'm Logie from the eggplant.
13:22Okay, fine.
13:22You'll go practice,
13:24then you'll come back next week,
13:25do a couple Mondays,
13:25and then I...
13:26Dharma, I'm not going to play.
13:27Not now, not ever.
13:29What?
13:30Why?
13:31What's the point?
13:33The point is,
13:34you love music.
13:35You could be great, Larry.
13:36No, maybe once.
13:37Come on.
13:38Dharma, let it go.
13:42Why?
13:43Because I'm the father,
13:44and I said so.
13:49Because I'm the father,
13:50and I said so?
13:53Come on, Larry.
13:53You're kidding, right?
13:55Dharma, I'm 52 years old,
13:57and I have other things
13:58to do with my life now.
14:00Hey, fine, Larry.
14:01Fine.
14:01You have your excuses.
14:02You always have your excuses.
14:04Well, you know what?
14:05Don't use me as one of them.
14:06Come on, Marcy.
14:08Dharma!
14:09Dharma!
14:12Dharma!
14:13Dharma!
14:20For those of you
14:20who were with us yesterday,
14:21our legal puzzler,
14:22what single act
14:23is a crime,
14:24a breach,
14:24and a tort?
14:25The answer is, of course,
14:27embezzlement.
14:29Ah!
14:31And that sound tells us
14:32it's time to wrap up
14:33Greg's legal pad for today.
14:35And now,
14:36side three of the rock opera,
14:38Quadrophenia.
14:40What happened?
14:41Her father didn't want to go on,
14:43and they had a big fight
14:43in the middle of the restaurant,
14:45and I didn't get to play
14:46Foggy Mountain Breakdown.
14:50My father gave up something
14:51he was really good at,
14:52and I want to help him
14:53get it back,
14:53and he won't let me.
14:54Dharma,
14:55are you sure you're doing this
14:56for him?
14:56Because it sounds more like
14:57you're doing it for yourself.
14:58Don't talk to me
14:59in your radio voice.
15:03Look,
15:04you have no reason
15:05to feel guilty.
15:06Maybe he did quit
15:06because of you,
15:07but it's not your fault.
15:08You didn't choose to be born.
15:11In what universe
15:12did I not choose to be born?
15:16Should have seen that coming.
15:18Yeah.
15:20Do you know
15:21the transmitter's unplugged?
15:26What?
15:27We must have forgotten
15:28to plug it back in
15:29after we're using
15:29the heating pad.
15:31Marcy,
15:32when was this?
15:33Oh, yesterday.
15:40So for an entire day,
15:42I've been sitting here
15:43talking to myself.
15:45But, Greg,
15:46you were having fun,
15:47and isn't that
15:47what really matters?
15:48No, Marcy.
15:49What really matters
15:50is that basically
15:51I was sitting in my bedroom
15:52talking into a hairbrush
15:54on K-Greg.
15:58I used to pretend
15:59that my parents
16:00were still married
16:01and the whole family
16:02worked together
16:03and we solved crimes.
16:10Thank you, Marcy.
16:12Somehow that actually
16:13makes me feel
16:14a little better.
16:19Hey.
16:20Oh.
16:22Hey.
16:23Brought you back
16:24your guitar.
16:27Thanks.
16:32Listen, Larry,
16:33I'm really sorry
16:34about what happened.
16:35I should never
16:36have called you a quitter.
16:37I don't remember
16:38you calling me a quitter.
16:40Well, not in so many words,
16:41but all that stuff
16:41I said about excuses,
16:42I shouldn't have said that.
16:44Okay, but you didn't
16:45call me a quitter.
16:46Yes, I did, Larry.
16:47It's the same thing.
16:47A person who always
16:48has excuses
16:48is basically a quitter.
16:50Whoa, that's a little rough,
16:51drama.
16:51Yes, and I shouldn't
16:52have said it.
16:53I understand
16:53in the heat of the moment,
16:54but coming back
16:55and grinding on it?
17:01I guess what I'm trying
17:02to say is that
17:03if you stopped
17:04your music career
17:04because I was born,
17:05then that's something
17:06that I should be proud of.
17:07You know, I mean,
17:08how many other kids
17:09have a dad
17:09that would make
17:09a sacrifice like that?
17:14Dharma.
17:17Let me show you something.
17:25Dear Mr. Finkelstein,
17:28unfortunately,
17:29your submission
17:29to Electra Records
17:30does not meet our needs
17:32at the present time.
17:35It's a rejection letter.
17:36One of many.
17:39Not suitable,
17:40not interested.
17:42Columbia House
17:42of Records and Tapes
17:43is not a recording company.
17:50I mean, people thought
17:51I quit music
17:52because of you.
17:53And it was easy
17:54to let them think that
17:55rather than to let them know
17:57what was really going on.
17:59So if someone
18:00had liked your stuff,
18:01you would have gone out
18:01on the road?
18:02Oh, yeah.
18:03In a minute.
18:07Then I would have missed
18:09out on being there
18:09to see you grow up.
18:12Yeah.
18:14So that's the story.
18:16It just wasn't that good.
18:18No, Larry,
18:18you can't base that off
18:19of one box
18:20of rejection letters.
18:21I got five.
18:28Well, I really loved your song.
18:31Maybe you were just
18:32ahead of your time.
18:33You know,
18:34that's what they said
18:35about my spray-on gravy.
18:54One thing about angels
18:58They ain't always right
19:00We had a little baby girl
19:01Made from San Francisco light
19:04Call her Dharma
19:07Cause the truth
19:08was plain to see
19:09The miracle of life
19:12One and one is three
19:23He played music
19:24He talked about legal stuff
19:25He had a total blast
19:27Didn't you, honey?
19:27No, I did not.
19:28Well, not now he didn't
19:30But then he did
19:31Do your radio voice for them
19:32Can we just drop this, please?
19:35Good, smooth
19:37I say if a man finds something
19:39that makes him happy
19:39more power to him
19:41Would you like some more?
19:42Yes
19:45I'm sorry
19:46Oh, no, no, no, no, no
19:47Problem
19:48It's 100% synthetic
19:49It blots right up
19:51It's just like AstroTurf
19:53Oh, watch this
19:54And these are beats
19:56That is enough
19:57Edward
19:58I have done everything
19:59that I could for you
20:00I have stood by you
20:01in thick and thin
20:02I put aside my dreams
20:03so that you could
20:04build an empire
20:04I have endured
20:05the pain and humiliation
20:06of childbirth
20:07to bring your son
20:08into the world
20:10Humiliation?
20:11Hold your questions
20:12until the end
20:12I will not spend
20:14the rest of my days
20:15on the fuzzy
20:16and stain-repellent
20:17arm of a man
20:18who chooses
20:18to dress
20:19like a
20:20rec room
20:21Davenport
20:25Dad, maybe you should
20:27give up the running suit
20:28Son, I know your mother
20:29Eventually
20:30she'll get used to it
20:33I guess
20:34And then I'll take it off
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