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00:04Mother, Dad, Abby, Larry, Thanksgiving is a time for families to be together.
00:10A time to give thanks, to share memories, and to go at each other's throats like a bunch of rabid
00:15dogs.
00:19Mother, Dad, Abby, Larry, Thanksgiving is a time for families to be together.
00:25But not this year. This year me and Greg are going to the Mojamas.
00:30Fine, we'll do it your way. We'll call them.
00:35From the Bahamas.
00:58Be right out.
01:00Not if I can help it.
01:06Oh, we're joining the Mile High Club?
01:08No. You're joining the Mile High Club. I'm your sponsor.
01:16Folks, this is Captain Armstrong, and it looks like we're running into a little weather. So, if you could just
01:20mosey on back to your seats, we'd appreciate it. Sorry for any inconvenience.
01:26I have no idea.
01:28Actually, he does.
01:30I had the flight attendant clear this with him.
01:39Welcome to Fort Wayne. So sorry for the inconvenience.
01:42Welcome to Fort Wayne, folks. Sorry for the inconvenience.
01:44Wow, Greg, should I ever see Fort Wayne, Indiana?
01:48A dream come true.
01:50Do you know when we might be able to take off again?
01:52Sure don't. The East Coast is totally snowed in.
01:56We have hotel vouchers available.
01:58Hotel vouchers?
02:00How cool is this?
02:01Um, this is our first time in Fort Wayne. Which hotel is closest to the action?
02:06Uh, Darma, we're not staying. Um, vouchers are the sucker move. We don't have to go to Newark to get
02:10to the Bahamas. We can connect through Atlanta or Miami.
02:16Well, Wendy, I didn't even think about them.
02:19Wendy?
02:20Wendy?
02:21Wendy and Daryl from 11B and C. They're supposed to get married in the Bahamas tomorrow.
02:27Of course, Wendy and Daryl.
02:29Dorma, I'm gonna miss my wedding.
02:32Well, you know what? You're gonna get there in time, and you're gonna be a beautiful bride.
02:35Maybe a little snotty and puffy from all the crying.
02:39She's such a pretty girl. No one will even notice.
02:42You get there tomorrow, sweetheart.
02:44That's why I missed the bachelor party.
02:46I've got porn at home.
02:48You're right. You too. It's okay.
02:50See?
02:51Let's go do something, guys.
02:54Oh, a taste of Fort Wayne is today.
02:57Honey, let's go see what Fort Wayne tastes like.
02:59Dorma, we can't leave the airport. I'm gonna have us out of here in 15 minutes.
03:02Oh.
03:02Okay.
03:04Well, even better.
03:06The Abraham Lincoln Airport Museum.
03:08Are you guys Lincoln when I'm Lincoln?
03:1215 minutes, Dorma.
03:1415 minutes, Dorma.
03:17I'm very sorry, ma'am, but I don't control the weather.
03:23Hi, we're going to the Bahamas.
03:24Could you step behind the line until I call you? Thank you very much.
03:31Next.
03:33Hi, my wife and I are going to the Bahamas, but since there are no flights into Newark,
03:37I found a way to get us there through Miami.
03:38Oh, you're one of our travel experts, aren't you?
03:42Tell your little machine that my big machine says that all flights east are canceled.
03:47Next.
03:47Hold on.
03:48Hold on.
03:49No, no, no.
03:49Next.
03:50No, next.
03:50No, next.
03:51Um, what if I don't go east?
03:53I'm not good with riddles, sir.
03:56I'm saying forget the Bahamas.
03:58There is a flight to Dallas in a half an hour.
04:01From there, can you get us to, say, Acapulco or Cancun?
04:05I can get you to Acapulco via San Francisco, but what are you doing?
04:10Nothing.
04:11You're double booking, aren't you?
04:13And this is a plane.
04:16The plane that goes to Acapulco is coming from Chicago, so you may have a delay in San Francisco.
04:21That's funny.
04:21We just came from San Francisco.
04:27Book it, please.
04:32Honey, I got us on a flight to Acapulco, but that's just a backup, because if we hustle,
04:36we're going to Hawaii.
04:37Come on.
04:37Oh, I'm okay right now, honey.
04:38This is Julianne, and she used to go potty, but she's a big girl, and she wants to go
04:41into the ladies' room, but she can't take her dad in there.
04:43Well, where's your mother?
04:44Uh, mommy and daddy are...
04:46It's Phil's play.
04:47What?
04:48It's Phil's play?
04:49Oh, they're divorced.
04:50Oh, it's...
04:54Very messy.
04:55Uh, you've got 20 minutes.
04:56Meet me at gate 15.
05:06Come on up here, hon.
05:07I can't come get you.
05:09I was waiting for you to say, next.
05:12I'm Greg Montgomery, and, uh, I'm, uh, booked to Honolulu.
05:17Oh, yes, there you are.
05:18Just let me have your ticket home.
05:19It's an e-ticket.
05:20Well, in order to transfer you, you'll need a paper ticket from your original airline.
05:25No, it's funny.
05:26I was just there.
05:32Next.
05:33Hey, she did great.
05:35She told everyone to wash their hands.
05:37Dharma.
05:38Dee, what's wrong?
05:40Daryl wants to break up with me.
05:42What?
05:43Hang on, hang on.
05:44You're probably exaggerating.
05:46What exactly did he say?
05:47He said, I want to break up.
05:50Not a lot of gray area there, huh?
05:53Oh, I'm looking good, but I need you waiting at the gate so we don't get bummed.
05:55Honey, I am in the middle of something.
05:57Dharma, her fiancé can take her to the bathroom.
06:00I don't have a fiancé anymore.
06:02You know what?
06:03Just wait here.
06:04I'll be right back.
06:06Why can't you sit and read a book when you travel like everyone gets?
06:18Next.
06:20Uh, look, I've gotten us on a flight to Hawaii.
06:22Oh, good.
06:22I'll go pack.
06:24I need to pick a ticket so I can switch airlines.
06:28So, all that work we did rebooking you, that was just fun for me?
06:34You know, if this weren't such a rinky-dink airline, I'd be in the Bahamas by now instead
06:38of arguing with a bitter mid-level manager.
06:41I am a supervisor.
06:46So, we're standing in there reading the Emancipation Proclamation, and I'm thinking, what am I doing?
06:52I mean, there goes my freedom.
06:55Daryl, I'm not sure Lincoln was talking about your relationship when he wrote that.
06:59Those are timeless words.
07:01I've been looking everywhere for you.
07:03Hang on, hang on.
07:04Do you love her?
07:05Of course I love her.
07:06Be with her, because marriage doesn't mean you have to lose your freedom.
07:09Dharma, come with me right now.
07:11Let me go.
07:11Play from the plane.
07:15Hawaii is going to be just as good as the Bahamas.
07:18That's their motto.
07:23We are...
07:24We are...
07:25Hey, boy, I should use a treadmill.
07:28Oh, no.
07:30You didn't hear the announcement, did you?
07:32What?
07:33The flight to Hawaii is canceled.
07:34The equipment never made it from Hartford.
07:37Do you have a flight anywhere to a place where the temperature is more than 60 degrees?
07:43Hon, it's the day before Thanksgiving.
07:44Everything's booked signed.
07:45Try.
07:46Anything.
07:49Well, I can get you on a flight to Gary, Indiana, and a motor coach to Chicago.
07:56Then I can get you on standby for Tulsa.
08:02Book it.
08:05Hank, you're getting weird.
08:07Dharma, you have got to go somewhere unless you want your Thanksgiving to be a pressed turkey sandwich and cranberry
08:13juice at the takeoff tavern.
08:15And that could be a great Thanksgiving, honey.
08:17It would be you and me and Wendy and Daryl, maybe, if they patched things up.
08:21I'll be here.
08:23You know what?
08:24I had a flight to Acapulco through San Francisco that I canceled.
08:27Can I get that back?
08:29No.
08:30The flight to Acapulco is full, but the San Francisco leg is still open.
08:33Okay.
08:34We'll go back to San Francisco.
08:35That's probably a good idea.
08:36And from there, we can get to Bakersfield, Irvine, Fresno.
08:39Honey.
08:42All right.
08:42Or we'll just go back home.
08:43Yeah.
08:43Uh, if you want that flight to San Francisco, you're going to have to run.
08:47So funny.
08:47We just came from San Francisco.
08:54Great news, Abby.
08:55We're coming home for Thanksgiving.
08:57No, we're not having sex.
09:01I'm running.
09:04I got to go.
09:05We'd like those seats on the flight to San Francisco.
09:08I'm afraid that'll be impossible.
09:09Why?
09:10Because we're just a rinky-dink airline, and I'm just a bitter man stuck in a dead-end
09:15mid-management position who will never earn six figures.
09:18I didn't say all that.
09:20No, but you hit a nerve.
09:29I don't know exactly why you hate him, but I can imagine.
09:35Think about me.
09:36I have to live with that.
09:41You poor thing.
09:43I'm going to put you at a window.
09:45I'm going to put him in 41B.
09:47It's a non-reclining middle seat right by the lavatory.
09:57Abby just phoned.
09:59Apparently, Gregory and Dharma will be home for Thanksgiving after all.
10:02What happened to their trip?
10:04Oh, I don't know.
10:06Cubby thing is, Abby is throwing a surprise Thanksgiving dinner at their apartment, and
10:13we are invited.
10:16Are we going?
10:18Oh, the word, we will be their guests in our son's own home.
10:24Now, if they host this dinner, they are establishing a beachhead on neutral territory.
10:29Now, what do you suggest we do?
10:30Well, I suggest we don't give a rant's ass, but I don't think you'd go for that.
10:36Just bought me a diamond tennis bracelet, Edward.
10:41Well?
10:42Well, I'm rich.
10:46Sorry about off the polka.
10:47It's okay.
10:49Right now, dinner with our parents doesn't seem so bad.
10:53May I have your attention, please?
10:56Twent's global flight 438 to San Francisco has been canceled.
11:02Why?
11:07Craig, look!
11:09Snow!
11:10Isn't it beautiful?
11:26That's what makes the Greenbrier Resort the number one conference destination in the
11:32country.
11:33If I see the little business people having their meetings.
11:38When did you wake up?
11:40About an hour ago, kids were getting restless, and I wanted to let their parents sleep in
11:43a little.
11:44Who are you, Maria von Trapp?
11:48I said whoever gets up first has to get in line.
11:53Morning, Greg.
11:54Morning.
11:57Guy.
11:59Hi, Dharma.
12:01Well, look who made up.
12:04Twice.
12:07Okie dokie, folks.
12:08They've got one runway open.
12:11So, please be patient.
12:12I don't usually work the gate, and I'm not trained on this system.
12:17Great.
12:18Excuse me.
12:19I'm sorry.
12:20Are you...
12:21Are you Pat Benatar?
12:22Yes.
12:23Yes, I am.
12:24Yeah, I saw your name on the standby passenger list.
12:27And, uh, this line is for ticketed passengers only, so...
12:36Big fan.
12:38Hit me with your best shot.
12:42Honey, how would a couple get married if they don't have a wedding license?
12:45I don't know.
12:47They'd have to find a judge willing to waive the requirement.
12:50Thanks.
12:52Hi, I'm, uh, Greg Montgomery.
12:54Hi, Marilyn Peters.
12:58Okay, here we go.
13:01Your reservation terminal and you.
13:04Your attention, please.
13:06If there's a judge in the airport who believes in romance, please pick up the white courtesy phone.
13:12A judge who believes in romance, please pick up the white courtesy phone.
13:18Oh, okay.
13:19Okay, here's what I'm doing wrong.
13:20I've been hitting the O instead of the zero.
13:24That's not it.
13:26What time do you take your break?
13:29Sir, I'm married.
13:33Okay, ten o'clock.
13:40Welcome, welcome, welcome.
13:42Kitty, what are you doing here so early?
13:44Well, you know how I like to get a jump on Thanksgiving dinner.
13:47Oh, Edward, would you see if our guests would like a drink?
13:51Sure.
13:52I'd like a guava juice and Abby would probably take a Tazo tea.
13:57I can't help them.
14:00Kitty, I'm confused.
14:01I called and invited you to dinner.
14:03But you're always cooking.
14:05You cooked?
14:05I catered.
14:08You sit down, relax, and make yourself at home.
14:10No, no, no, no, no, no.
14:11You'll make yourself at home.
14:12No, no, no, no.
14:15What's this?
14:17Scotch.
14:17You're going to need it.
14:22I wish you would stay in one place.
14:24I got us on a flight to San Francisco.
14:25We have ten minutes.
14:26What, now?
14:27No, honey, I can't go now.
14:27I have to do Wendy's hair.
14:30Why?
14:30For her wedding.
14:32Here?
14:33They have to get married today because, and this is so romantic, they're using Wendy's
14:38grandmother's wedding ring.
14:39Nine minutes, darling.
14:40And engraved on the inside is the date her grandmother got married, which is today's date.
14:46That is so romantic.
14:46I know.
14:47Let's go.
14:47No, no, no.
14:49You know what?
14:49If you want to take this flight, go ahead.
14:51I'll meet you at home.
14:52You know what?
14:53I would do that, but I'd never see you again.
14:55You'd spend the rest of your life in this airport saving marriages and delivering babies,
14:59and once a year, the local news would do a story about the crazy wedding lady of the
15:02Fort Wayne airport.
15:04I'm not in it for the fame, Gray.
15:07Let's see if I can get us on the 2.30.
15:09Will that work for you?
15:12Well, I'd have to leave the reception a little early.
15:15The 4.15.
15:16That's it.
15:19And there's our centerpiece.
15:21See, I like to have something from our garden on the table every year.
15:25Here we go.
15:27Oh, my centerpiece has a baby.
15:33That giant dog hovering over the parade is kind of freaking me out.
15:38Do you mind if I flip around?
15:40That's the wrong remote, Finkelstein.
15:42Thanksgiving is a time for families to be together.
15:44But not this year.
15:45This year, me and Greg are going to the Bahamas.
15:46Wah!
15:48Simmons, what are our parents going to say?
15:49Oh!
15:51Gregor!
15:52You're not coming for Thanksgiving dinner, but we're having a gold-plated turkey!
16:03Whoa, man.
16:05Thanksgiving is just a bogus plot by the multinational poultry farmers getting fat off the backs of the working turkeys.
16:17Winklestein, you're an idiot.
16:21Whoa, Abby, did you hear what the man said?
16:23Calm down, Larry, and eat your tofu turkey!
16:30Well, I don't believe we need to hold dinner any longer.
16:33Kitty, I'd like to try some of your gold-plated turkey.
16:37Oh, and we'll leave the tofu turkey for the children.
16:41Don't sound like that.
16:43No, no, no, no, no.
16:44They sure got the women down.
16:52Oh, excuse me.
16:53I know this is a private club, but do you sell one-day memberships?
16:56We sure do.
16:56Great.
16:57You just need a drink and a comfortable sofa to lie down on?
17:00I hear you.
17:01Unfortunately, right now, we're closed.
17:03We're setting up for a wedding reception.
17:05For what?
17:06There's this young couple, and they really want to get married today.
17:09So this woman, a total stranger, she's arranging everything for them.
17:13The ceremony, the music.
17:14She's an angel.
17:17I'm familiar with her work.
17:23We've only just begun to live
17:31White lace and promises
17:36A kiss for luck and we're all away
17:40Before the rising sun
17:45We fly
17:48There's so many
17:51We started working and learning to love
18:10Why is Pat Benatar singing
18:12We've only just begun?
18:14She didn't know Evergreen and this was Wendy's second choice.
18:19Oh, they look wonderful.
18:21Yeah, like Abe and Indira Lincoln
18:25So, honey, I'm sorry if I kept us here a little longer.
18:28This just seemed too important.
18:29It's okay.
18:30We'll be home soon.
18:31We're on the 415 and we're pretty lucky.
18:33It started to snow again and he's maybe the last two tickets out of this airport.
18:38Daryl's ring?
18:39Where's Daryl's ring?
18:41We don't have Daryl's ring?
18:43Hang on, hang on, hang on.
18:44Shh, don't panic, don't panic.
18:46It's okay.
18:46Um, Lola, do you have anything like that but maybe bigger?
19:05Nice save.
19:09Sharing her rations that are new to us
19:14Watching the signs along the way
19:17Boy, it's a shame they're gonna have to spend their wedding night in an airport
19:21Just the two of us
19:24They'll be fine.
19:26San Francisco is such a romantic city.
19:30So is Fort Wayne.
19:39Their first class, I used our miles.
19:43This is definitely gonna be their best gift.
19:45They only had time to register at Cinnabon.
19:53We've only just begun
19:58We've only just begun
20:12We've only just begun
20:16No promises for the next
20:20Love is a battlefield
20:24Oh, oh, oh
20:27Oh, oh, oh
20:28We are strong
20:31No one can tell us where we're going
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