- 1 day ago
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00:00Okay, mommy and daddy are going to a concert tonight, so we're gonna be home late.
00:04Remember the rules. No rough housing.
00:06You can use the microwave, but not the oven.
00:10And no going on the internet pretending you're 14-year-old girls, stinky.
00:18What do you think?
00:20Wow.
00:22They're my rock concert pants.
00:25Great.
00:26I always wear these to rock concerts.
00:27Excellent.
00:28I bought them 10 years ago for a Huey Luz concert, but they still fit.
00:33They sure do.
00:36You're right. I look like an idiot. I'll go and change.
00:42Hello.
00:43Hey, Jane. You getting ready to rock and roll?
00:47You're kidding. We've had these tickets for months.
00:50What's going on?
00:51Pete and Jane got into a fight, and now they can't go.
00:54It's Aerosmith. They can fight there. No one will hear them.
00:59What's the fight about?
01:01Uh-huh. The recliner.
01:04Melted butter.
01:06Oh, I'm gonna have to go with Pete on that one, and enema is never a nice surprise.
01:14What are they fighting about?
01:16The usual.
01:18No, don't worry. We'll find somebody else.
01:21Bye.
01:23Well, got two extra tickets to Aerosmith. Which lucky friends should we call?
01:28Steve. Greg Montgomery.
01:30Yeah, yeah. It has been a while. Listen, um, Darma and I have a couple of extra tickets to see
01:33Aerosmith tonight. You guys want to come?
01:35Oh. Well, maybe next time.
01:37Okay, tell Elaine I said hi.
01:39Oh.
01:40Of course. Marilyn.
01:44Sorry. When did he divorce Elaine?
01:46Hey, Mad Dog. How's it hanging?
01:50Excellent. Listen, uh, Greg and I have a couple extra tickets to the Aerosmith concert tonight. Thought maybe you and
01:55the Big Beaver might want to join us.
01:59Yeah, I'm pretty sure the concert's more than 90 feet away from your house.
02:04Okay, well, you just give us a call when you get that ankle bracelet off.
02:09House arrest.
02:10I see.
02:14We're sorry. You have reached a number that is no longer in service. If you feel that you have reached
02:20this recording in it.
02:21Huh.
02:23Oh, you want to just call us some wrong numbers, see if we find anybody?
02:26Thank you very much.
02:27Dickens.
02:29Now I met Jane.
02:31Are you sure? No listing under Spider McNamara.
02:36Okay, how about under Spidey?
02:39Uh, how about Spidey Macaroon?
02:43We'll check under his wife's name. Lorna Dune.
02:48Lorna Dune Macaroon.
02:52Hi, Arnold Zulak, please.
02:54Hey, Arnie. Uh, Greg Montgomery.
02:56You remember from, from archery camp.
03:03Well, what do you think? Abby and Larry would love to see Aerosmith.
03:07No, we are grown-ups. We have our own friends.
03:09We don't have to go to a concert with your parents.
03:11Now, think.
03:15Okay, Abby. Maybe some other time.
03:21Now what?
03:29What is wrong with our parents' lips?
03:33They are cute!
03:36That's Dick Jagger!
03:58Coming up?
03:59Thanks, Pete.
04:04You coming?
04:05Can't.
04:06Why not?
04:07Jane put super glue on the button.
04:12Why did she do that?
04:13I don't know.
04:15Because she's crazy is why!
04:20Where is she now?
04:21I hope she's packing.
04:22I lost her in a card game.
04:30Oh, we definitely need new friends.
04:32Now, it was just one concert. Don't obsess about it.
04:35I'm not obsessing, but think about it.
04:38Besides Jane and Pete, we have no couple friends we can go to concerts with, or dinner, or away for
04:42the weekend.
04:42And what about our kids?
04:44If we don't have a couple friends who have kids, who are our kids going to play with?
04:47No one.
04:47They'll grow up to be sad, lonely people who talk to themselves and don't take care of their yards properly.
04:54Honey, we don't have kids.
04:56And we shouldn't until we get our act together.
04:58Okay.
04:59This is what I mean by obsessing.
05:04You know who could be our friends? Paul and Sarah Marsh.
05:06Sure, of course.
05:08Do we know a Paul and Sarah Marsh?
05:11He was a lawyer at the Justice Department.
05:12His wife's like a sculptor or something, and he always wanted us to get together.
05:16Well, they sound perfect.
05:20How many kids don't they have?
05:25I can't believe you were at the Aerosmith concert, too.
05:28Where were you sitting?
05:29Fifth row center.
05:30Eighth row center.
05:31Were you near that crazy woman who kept screaming,
05:34Turn it down!
05:38Yeah, pretty close.
05:40Who's ready for some dessert?
05:42Oh, count me in.
05:43Just a minute.
05:46So, how did you two meet?
05:48Oh, well, do you want to tell her, or should I?
05:50Go ahead.
05:51Okay, well, I was working at this coffee shop down the street from the Catholic seminary where Paul was going.
05:55Wait a minute.
05:56You were studying to be a priest?
05:58Uh-huh.
05:59Now, isn't that based on hearing some call from God?
06:02Well, yeah, I suppose.
06:03Okay, so God's calling.
06:05You put him on hold, and you go out with her.
06:07That is the most romantic love story I have ever heard in my entire life.
06:11Isn't it?
06:13Oh, this is so cool.
06:15Okay, now let me ask you a question, Paul.
06:17How did you know that she was your true love, and not some temptation set up by Satan to lure
06:24you away from God?
06:28I'm sorry.
06:30In most religious traditions, there's always a test of faith.
06:34So, how did you know that she wasn't just that?
06:37I mean, look at her.
06:39If Satan were to set a trap, he'd certainly use a Hotsy Totsy piece of cheese like Sarah.
06:46I'm sorry, what?
06:48Oh, come on, you're gorgeous.
06:50You could make an archbishop by a lap dance.
06:56Forgive me, Lord.
06:58I have forsaken my true vocation and yielded to the temptations of the flesh.
07:02Grant that I might be your humble servant once again.
07:06Ha!
07:10Uh, amen?
07:14Come on, how could I have known?
07:17He was weeping.
07:19I just asked a simple question.
07:21No, no, no, a simple question is, seen any good movies lately?
07:23Hot enough for you?
07:24Anything except, did you know your wife was sent by Satan?
07:28No, that is not fair.
07:31All I said was, did you ever consider the possibility that your wife was sent by Satan?
07:46Anything wrong?
07:48You look a little blue.
07:50My idiot husband put dye in the showerhead.
07:54Jane, why are you walking around naked?
07:58Because I'm going to take a shower.
08:00No.
08:03You know, what happened to Paul and Sarah tonight was going to happen eventually.
08:06Yeah, yeah, maybe 20 years from now.
08:08In the meantime, we would have had friends.
08:09A fallen priest and the devil's handmaiden.
08:14Have you guys seen Jane?
08:15No.
08:16No.
08:17Okay, sorry to bother you.
08:21Look, whatever happened happened, but I think we can agree that Paul and Sarah are not going
08:24to be our new couple friend.
08:25Oh, yeah, I think that's safe to say.
08:28Maybe it's time we stop digging through the address book and start going out and meeting
08:32new people.
08:33And how do you propose we do that?
08:34Well, let's think.
08:36What are we looking for in friends?
08:38Are you sure?
08:39There's a blue footprint sent right at your door.
08:42Maybe she backtracked.
08:44Tricky little mix.
08:49Well, we know what we're not looking for.
08:52Well, nice meeting you.
08:55Enjoy your stay in America.
08:58Auf Wiedersehen.
09:00Later, Hosen.
09:02Okay, we're 0 for 4.
09:05You want to go back to Ikea?
09:06No.
09:08Oh!
09:09What about a Volvo dealership?
09:11I don't think so.
09:169 o'clock, Dockers and a blue sweater.
09:19Aren't we kind of robbing the cradle?
09:21So?
09:22They'll keep us young and we'll buy them beer.
09:25Follow my lead.
09:27Do you have a plan?
09:28No.
09:31Beautiful, isn't it?
09:33You guys come here often?
09:35We're members.
09:37Members?
09:39Did you hear that?
09:41They're members.
09:45Say something.
09:46Uh, uh, your pants are like my pants.
09:54Just walk away.
10:00Your pants are like my pants?
10:08Ready.
10:11I made your plate.
10:12Macaroni and cheese?
10:14I thought we were supposed to go to dinner with these people.
10:16Yeah, but you don't want to eat like a pig and make a bad first impression.
10:21Okay.
10:22Wait a minute.
10:23Is that what you're going to wear?
10:24Yeah.
10:26I can see your belly button.
10:28What are they going to think?
10:30I don't know.
10:32That I was fed through an umbilical cord and I'm out of it?
10:36Um, let's take a sweater.
10:38Hey, you never told me.
10:40How'd you hook up with this couple?
10:41Um, they were, uh, they were recommended.
10:44Recommended?
10:45By who?
10:45By whom?
10:47Greg, answer the question.
10:50My mother.
10:52Aw, we got picked up by your mom?
10:56Like we were doing so well on our own?
11:00Greg, are we that lame?
11:04If we were horses they would shoot us.
11:06I don't know.
11:37Mac and cheese.
11:42Mmm.
11:46Hey, wait a minute.
11:47You two got married the first day you saw each other?
11:50That's amazing.
11:51So did we.
11:52Did you ever think we'd meet another couple we had that in common with?
11:56You can from Captain Log, too?
12:00I'm sorry, what?
12:01I met Betty through a service.
12:04You mean a dating service?
12:06Mmm, I think he means more like the postal service.
12:10Got her mail order.
12:12The Russian girls are real popular now,
12:14but you don't want one of those big bone gals walking on your back.
12:20Forgive me for being judgmental,
12:22but don't you feel exploited by this arrangement?
12:24Oh, no.
12:25I don't have to sleep with him.
12:27I just tie him up and call him names.
12:31He liked that very much.
12:34Ain't that right?
12:35Stinky boy.
12:38How exactly do you know my mother?
12:41I do her nails.
12:42Uh-huh.
12:43Oh, she got a bad feet.
12:48Too many corn.
12:52Maybe we should order.
12:53Where the heck's a waiter?
12:54Mmm.
12:55You want to see good feet?
12:57Show it in your face, sissy man.
13:03Well, that was pretty unpleasant.
13:05Stinky boy did have beautiful feet.
13:09We should thank your mom.
13:11Uh-huh.
13:11Maybe buy her some corn pads.
13:16Problem?
13:17No, we're all right.
13:18I have AAA.
13:20Oh, shoot.
13:21Great dead battery.
13:23Oh, here.
13:23Uh, use mine.
13:25Oh, thanks.
13:25Uh, AAA's number four on the speed dial.
13:27Uh, not number one?
13:29I went alphabetically.
13:30I considered that.
13:33Sweet car.
13:34Oh, thanks.
13:36My husband hates her.
13:38Why?
13:38Well, he says she stalls out a lot.
13:40Of course, it's only when he's driving.
13:42Mm-hmm.
13:42Think maybe she doesn't like him?
13:44Wouldn't be surprised.
13:46He's always talking about trading her in.
13:48Well, there you go.
13:50Her feelings are hurt.
13:51Classic grudge stall.
13:53What's her name?
13:55Sally.
13:56Of course.
13:57Greg, the Mustang's name is Sally.
13:59Isn't that cute?
14:00My wife's idea.
14:01I understand.
14:02We have a toaster named Pop-Up Willie.
14:04Greg.
14:05Doug.
14:06Dharma.
14:06Cynthia.
14:07Doug.
14:07Dharma.
14:08Cynthia.
14:09Greg.
14:12Sally!
14:28Doug.
14:40Doug.
15:05I'll see you next time.
15:17I don't know.
15:43I don't know.
15:46I don't know.
15:47I don't know.
15:50I don't know.
15:54I don't know.
15:55You have no messages.
16:02You have no messages.
16:06Hey, what's up?
16:07We have no messages.
16:09What?
16:10Yesterday, I left a message for Cynthia and Doug on their machine about dinner tonight and
16:13they never called back.
16:15Huh.
16:16I didn't get an answer to the email I sent Doug about playing golf.
16:18Oh, that's weird.
16:22Not too eager.
16:28Hello?
16:30Oh, hi, Cynthia.
16:31We were just talking about you.
16:32Ta.
16:33Utah.
16:35Well, we were discussing the states and, well, we're almost done.
16:38Listen, how's dinner tonight for you guys?
16:41Oh.
16:42Okay.
16:42Well, what about tomorrow?
16:43I think we're free tomorrow.
16:46Oh.
16:47Well, what about Sunday?
16:49Sunday.
16:49No.
16:50I take it back.
16:51Sunday's bad.
16:51We are definitely booked on Sunday.
16:54Unless you're free, then we could probably shuffle some stuff around.
17:01Okay.
17:02Um, well, you'll just call us and we'll take it from there.
17:05Okay.
17:06Bye-bye.
17:09They blew us off.
17:11They, they, they didn't blow us off.
17:13They probably just have other plans.
17:15Oh, wake up and smell the kiss off.
17:17We've been dumped.
17:19Well, we have been.
17:21It's not completely out of the blue.
17:22I mean, you have been coming on pretty strong.
17:26What?
17:28You invited them to meet your parents.
17:30Don't you think it's a little soon for that?
17:31Well, excuse me, but I'm not the one who used the L word.
17:36What?
17:38We love you guys.
17:43You said it like 12 times.
17:46I'd had a couple of glasses of wine.
17:48It felt kind of good to say it.
17:52Well, I hope you're happy because now you scared them off.
17:56We, we don't know that.
17:58They're probably having a quiet dinner by themselves.
18:02Let's find out.
18:03I mean, you can't call somebody up and ask them that they're dumping you.
18:06Right.
18:07But we can go see what they're doing without us.
18:10Oh.
18:11Oh, you mean stalk them.
18:12No.
18:13Stalking is what crazy people do.
18:14We are not crazy.
18:17We're just going to see if they're cheating on us.
18:22Oh, well, that, that's reasonable.
18:25I can't believe you lost them.
18:28Well, if we'd taken my car instead of your father's dumb van, I wouldn't have lost them.
18:31They know your car.
18:32And what did I tell you about calling this van D-U-M-B?
18:37Oh, there's the Mustang.
18:38Pull over, pull over.
18:46See him anywhere?
18:48All clear.
19:07Still warm.
19:10They're close.
19:15Do you think they're in there?
19:17Hmm?
19:20The restaurant we took them to?
19:23You wouldn't.
19:29Oh.
19:30Oh.
19:33Oh.
19:35Oh.
19:35Oh.
19:36Oh.
19:37Oh.
19:38Oh.
19:50So I said, Doug, I'll get rid of the Mustang when you stop smoking those awful cigars.
19:54Needless to say, the car stays.
19:59What a surprise.
20:01Dharma.
20:02Cynthia.
20:03Greg.
20:04Doug.
20:05Dharma.
20:06What have we here?
20:07Uh, these are our friends, Richard and Patricia.
20:11Richard and Patricia.
20:14Isn't that nice?
20:16Are you enjoying your little dinner?
20:19What are you guys doing here?
20:21What are we doing here?
20:22This is our restaurant.
20:24What are they doing here?
20:27They're our friends.
20:28Is that so?
20:30Did you hear that, Greg?
20:32They're their friends.
20:33Dharma, honey, I think maybe we crossed some kind of line here.
20:37We thought we had something with you people.
20:40What is she talking about?
20:41Um, I don't know.
20:42I thought I knew, but it turns out I don't.
20:44Dharma, honey, time to go.
20:46Here.
20:48Obviously, this meant nothing to you.
20:54For the record, I love you guys.
20:56It's just a figure of speech.
21:01You know, when you think about it, it's kind of silly.
21:04It's so true.
21:05We have so many friends.
21:07Abby.
21:08Popcorn.
21:10We brought our own.
21:11Real butter.
21:20You know, I used to have an imaginary friend.
21:22I bet she's married by now.
21:24Give her a call.
21:24We have so many!
21:26Two, three, four, five.
21:27Bye.
21:29Two, three, four.
21:32Two, three, five.
21:32One, two, three, seven.
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