- 1 day ago
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:01Look, all I'm saying is that we can make this about who did what to who
00:04and tally up all the points we've got,
00:06but then we just wind up with a giant scorecard instead of a marriage.
00:09Hey, I'm the one who's trying to say this is okay, I forgive you, let's move on,
00:12and I get a lecture about how I don't know how to be in a marriage?
00:14What is that?
00:15You just don't get it, do you?
00:19We celebrate and bless the wedding of Susan and Russell.
00:23He's sorry he didn't understand before.
00:25The Jewish wedding canopy.
00:27This chuppah symbolizes many, many things.
00:30It is tradition in the Jewish religion.
00:33Mainly, this chuppah symbolizes the home that they will share.
00:38Well, I guess we still have some stuff to work out.
00:40But we will.
00:42I know.
00:46Greg!
01:04Dharma Montgomery.
01:06D.H.
01:07Yes, yes, I'll hold.
01:09Can't this thing go any faster?
01:11Not until we get to the top of the hill.
01:14Should have waited for my car.
01:16It was blocked in, Edward.
01:18The valet said it was going to take another 20 minutes.
01:20Maybe I should walk.
01:21I'll let them know you're on the way.
01:23Shh, Edward.
01:24I'm sorry, could you repeat that?
01:26All right.
01:27Yes, thank you.
01:28Thank you very much.
01:29What?
01:29What did they say?
01:30Dharma's still in surgery, and they're going to let Gregory know we'll be there as soon as we can.
01:34So, Edward.
01:35What happened to your new van, Pinkelstein?
01:37Abby's been asking me that for two weeks.
01:39Will you people leave me alone?
01:41I'll remember.
01:43You're just briefed.
01:45Excuse me for not being Mr. Gottrocks, who can just run out and buy a new van every time he
01:49loses one.
01:52Sorry.
01:53I'll get us there as fast as I can.
01:55It's all right, Larry.
01:56You're doing fine.
02:00You're doing fine.
02:29Greg's so full of it.
02:31I don't snore.
02:33Hello, Dharma.
02:34Hi, George.
02:36Are you dead?
02:37Oh, no, no.
02:38It's just the anesthesia.
02:39I just had an operation.
02:40I'm totally not dead.
02:41I mean, not that that's bad, being dead.
02:43You're dead, and that's great for you.
02:46It's okay.
02:47What are you doing here?
02:49I was up in a maternity ward.
02:50I'm thinking about reincarnation.
02:52Did you see anything good?
02:53What an ugly little girl.
02:55Big ears.
03:10Hey, it's me.
03:13How you doing?
03:14Well, I'm not snoring.
03:18I'm so sorry.
03:20Hey, George, do you think this happened for a reason?
03:22Do you think there's some kind of lesson that we're supposed to learn from this accident?
03:25Maybe next time you should drive.
03:32Oh.
03:34Oh, Gregory.
03:36How are you, son?
03:37I'm fine.
03:38You said that she came to the surgery great.
03:40Hey, Pumpkin.
03:42We're here.
03:43We got here as fast as we could.
03:45The van stalled.
03:46We had to walk from Market Street.
03:48Market Street.
03:49Market Street.
03:52Hey, how are we doing?
03:53Oh, Dr. Pullman, these are Dharma's parents, and these are my parents.
03:57Hi.
03:58This the guy who did the operation?
03:59Mm-hmm.
04:00He's pretty good, except he sang along to Christina Aguilera for the whole thing.
04:05I mean, it's his own.
04:07Hey, um, she was pretty banged up.
04:09We're very optimistic about her recovery.
04:11Okay.
04:11Can you give it to us without all the medical mumbo-jumbo?
04:14She's going to be fine, Larry.
04:17Was that so hard?
04:20She suffered a number of minor injuries, but what we had to deal with was her fractured
04:23hip.
04:24We've set it with a pin, so it's going to be a while before she's on her feet again.
04:27And she's going to need your help to maintain a structured approach to her physical therapy.
04:31Structured?
04:32I think I can do that.
04:34Oh, yeah.
04:34Greg's your guy there.
04:35Okay.
04:36I'll check in on her in the morning.
04:37Thank you, Doctor.
04:38Doctor?
04:39Yeah?
04:39We want her to have the best possible care.
04:41No expenses to be spared.
04:42The gang will be glad to hear that.
04:47She'll be fine.
04:49She'll be fine.
04:50Hey, George, check it out.
04:51Everyone's getting along.
04:52These things bring people together.
04:54We should have flipped the car years ago.
05:00Okay, a little.
05:06Okay, we're just going to manipulate your cervical vertebrae a bit, all right?
05:09Okay.
05:10Oh, sorry.
05:14Ready?
05:15Yep.
05:17Okay.
05:17Okay.
05:18Hey, that's okay.
05:20Okay.
05:21Okay.
05:22Oh, okay.
05:22No, that's suckity suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck, suck.
05:25You know what?
05:25Really, that's pretty good.
05:26You know, your range of motion is about 45 degrees.
05:29Really?
05:29Because yesterday it was 50.
05:31It's kind of subjective.
05:34I had Lisa yesterday.
05:35She's an easy grader.
05:37I think she's a little sweet on me.
05:40Okay.
05:42There goes your date, cupcake.
05:45You know, because if it is subjective, you really shouldn't use numbers.
05:48You should just say good or not so good, because if you use numbers, it imposes an arbitrary
05:52quantification.
05:53Does it?
05:54And there's nothing Greg hates more than arbitrary quantification.
05:59Except maybe raisins in his rice pudding.
06:01Oh, and my people say often.
06:03Norma, you have to take this seriously.
06:05How much more serious than a-ca-ca-ca-ca-ca do you want me to get?
06:10Okay.
06:11Is he always like this?
06:12Often.
06:15But, you know, one look at that button, it's all worth it.
06:20Yeah, butts are good.
06:21They are.
06:22Yeah.
06:22But for me, it's all about the calves.
06:24Oh, yeah?
06:25You want to see some good calves?
06:26Honey, show us some leg.
06:28We're not here for girl talk.
06:30Sorry.
06:31How's your penis, Nancy?
06:32So good.
06:33Thanks.
06:33Great.
06:34You know, I was just reading an article in the Journal of Physical Therapy that said
06:37at this point in lower body injuries, you should really concentrate on building upper
06:41body strength.
06:42I didn't read that.
06:44Betty's got a copy for you.
06:47Excuse me.
06:48Greg Montgomery.
06:50Wow, he is really all over this.
06:51Oh, yeah.
06:53I bet he's on the phone right now to the Mayo Clinic getting a second opinion.
06:56Hey, honey.
06:57Darma, hold on a second.
06:58I'm home with a doctor from Johns Hopkins.
07:01How close was I?
07:07Edward.
07:08Hmm?
07:10Are you aware that Gregory has asked Abby and Larry to look after the dogs and water the
07:16plants while Darma's in the hospital?
07:18Yeah, well, that makes sense.
07:19He's not home much lately.
07:20That is not my point, Edward.
07:22Well, I missed it then.
07:23Sorry.
07:28My point is, Gregory did not ask us.
07:33Ah.
07:37Edward, if we do not do something to help the children, this will come back to haunt us.
07:43Why are you going to Darma's family for Thanksgiving?
07:47Because they walked the dogs.
07:48They watered the plants.
07:49I'm sorry.
07:50Was that supposed to be two people talking?
07:52Because you used the same voice.
08:00I'm all alone in this marriage, aren't I?
08:03Well, I know who's talking there.
08:08Oh, Larry, the crystals have to be lined up so that the light refracts through them into
08:14Darma's healing chakra.
08:18Where's this go?
08:20That's the handle to the shopping bag.
08:23Just hook that back onto the shopping bag.
08:30What are we doing?
08:31A healing ceremony.
08:33Uh-huh.
08:34Hey, don't knock it.
08:35I never missed a day of school growing up.
08:37You were homeschooled.
08:39Oh.
08:44What exactly is this supposed to accomplish?
08:47Oh, frankly, not much, Greg.
08:50It's a stopgap.
08:51I mean, what would really help her is an African replenishment circle.
08:54Oh, absolutely.
08:56We should really be taking her to go see Natty and Banga in Santa Fe.
09:03Oh, Natty and Banga's the best.
09:05Yeah.
09:06Okay, you want to drag her 500 miles so somebody can wave chicken feathers over her head?
09:10Chicken feathers?
09:11She doesn't have high blood pressure, Greg.
09:14Okay, Darma.
09:15That's a moment.
09:16How's the physical therapy going?
09:17Well, she's making progress, but she's still got a little pain when she flexes her knee joint.
09:20I made a notation in her chart.
09:23Don't do that.
09:25Sorry.
09:26That's it.
09:27Doctor, could you possibly do that later?
09:29Because there isn't a lot of sunlight left, and I have two whole pages to chant.
09:33Oh, all right, sure.
09:34I'll come back in the morning.
09:35Thanks.
09:36You're kidding, right?
09:37You can't just walk out because they're doing voodoo.
09:39After four years, he still can't tell the difference between voodoo and a harmonic alignment ceremony?
09:45Don't be too hard on him.
09:46I think he's feeling guilty about the accident, and he's kind of channeling it all into trying
09:50to take really good care of me.
09:51All right.
09:53Of course.
09:53Oh, yeah.
09:54Just like you and your friend Tito in high school.
09:58I'll go talk to him.
10:00What happened with Tito?
10:01They were putting up posters for their band, and your father shot Tito in the hand with a
10:05staple gun.
10:07He felt so bad about it that he mowed Tito's lawn for the whole summer.
10:11At least he thought it was Tito's lawn.
10:16When I was in high school, I was in a band with my best friend Tito.
10:20Tito had an older brother who was in the Navy, and he claimed there was a woman who liked
10:25to sleep with young guys, you know, take their virginity.
10:28She supposedly lived in a yellow house, so we drove around for hours looking for it.
10:32And you know what, Greg?
10:33There was no yellow house.
10:37See what I'm saying here?
10:43No, I really don't.
10:49Sorry, Pumpkin.
10:50I told him the Tito story.
10:52Nyah.
11:01Dharma?
11:03Hey!
11:03Over here!
11:04Hey!
11:06Honey, don't you have a two o'clock physical therapy session?
11:08Eh, I blew it off for today.
11:09Build your own taco bar over there, and if you can find us a long pole, we're gonna do
11:13wheelchair limbo.
11:14Why would you blow it off?
11:15Because we're having a going away party for Stan.
11:17He got his beautician's license.
11:19Check it out.
11:21What do you think?
11:22I like it.
11:23Huh?
11:23Is it too short?
11:24No, honey, it looks really good.
11:25But listen, did Nancy say that you could skip physical therapy?
11:28Nancy did the shampoo.
11:29Hey, Greg.
11:30Hey, buddy.
11:32What are you doing here?
11:33He is not being fixed up.
11:35He's just a single person invited to an event where there just happens to be another single
11:39person there.
11:41Getting fixed up.
11:43With me.
11:45Okay.
11:46Fiesta's over for Dharma.
11:47She has to go to physical therapy.
11:49Nancy will meet you downstairs, and Pete, you, uh, get back to the office.
11:52I think I know where we can find a limbo pole.
11:57Greg, can I see you out in the hallway for a moment?
12:04Honey, Nancy said it's okay to skip one day of physical therapy.
12:07This is the same Nancy who seems to think Pete is a catch.
12:10Oh, good.
12:11You're both here.
12:12Hey, Doc.
12:12You're just in time to take a whack at the pinata.
12:14We didn't have any candy, so we filled it with aspirin.
12:17Um, listen, we took a look at this morning's x-rays, and were a little concerned about how
12:22the pin is sitting.
12:23Now, we could wait and see how it heals, but I'd prefer to go back in and realign things
12:27a bit.
12:28How about wait?
12:30Dharma, this is something the doctor thinks we should do.
12:32But I don't want to.
12:34She's going to need some more time to think about it, but why don't we go ahead and schedule
12:36it so we can just get the ball rolling.
12:38Great.
12:39Oh, excuse me.
12:40Honey, you can roll all the balls you want.
12:42I'm not going to have another operation.
12:43Dharma, just think about it, and if you decide later you don't want it, then we can cancel.
12:46Then cancel.
12:47I'm not going to spend another two hours lying on a table while someone cuts me open and sings
12:51Jeannie in a bottle.
12:52We'll talk about it later.
12:53Come on.
12:53No, you go.
12:54I got a limbo contest to judge.
12:56You have to go to physical therapy.
12:58It's just one session.
12:59If I want to play hooky and whack at a paper machine donkey full of painkillers, I'm gonna.
13:03Okay.
13:11Great.
13:15Who had a good bath?
13:18We had a good bath, didn't we?
13:20Yes, we did.
13:21Larry, I think you need to see this.
13:24Dharma has mutual funds.
13:27Boy, you always think it's going to be somebody else's kid, and bam, it's yours.
13:33Let's not say anything.
13:34She'll come to us when she's ready.
13:38Since when is it a crime to tip a doorman?
13:40He wasn't holding the door, Edward.
13:41He was licking it.
13:43And that's not worth a couple of bucks?
13:44Hello?
13:45Oh, Abby.
13:47Oh, Joe.
13:50Well, we're here to relieve you.
13:52What?
13:52Yes, we're going to walk the dogs and water the plants and what have you.
13:57All right, just a tip.
13:58If you decide to get in the bath with the dogs, keep an eye on Nunzio.
14:01He can get a little curious.
14:04I think they've got things under control.
14:06Nonsense, Edward.
14:07It isn't fair.
14:07They shouldn't have to shoulder all the responsibility themselves.
14:10It's a woman with a child.
14:11You know, we did want to take Harry down to the carousel in the park.
14:15We're protesting the depiction of animals in captivity.
14:19Aha.
14:19Well, that sounds like a lovely little family outing.
14:22Okay.
14:22All right.
14:23Well, this is the list, and we've marked off the things we've done.
14:25You want us to go over it with you?
14:26Oh, there's no need, Abby.
14:27We know how to read a list.
14:29Off you go.
14:30Thank you so much.
14:31Okay, bye-bye.
14:32Don't let the doorman lick you on the way out.
14:34I never understood that expression.
14:37All right.
14:38They've brought in the mail.
14:39They've bathed the dogs.
14:40Guys, Edward, why don't you give Stinky his heartworm pills, and I will change the water
14:45in the tofu culture tray.
14:48Which one is Stinky?
14:49Oh, for heaven's sakes.
14:50Edward, we've known these dogs for years.
14:54Well, hmm.
14:55Well, the name should give you a clue.
14:57You're not suggesting I smell them, are you?
15:00Maybe you could take a bath with them and see which one gets curious.
15:06Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
15:09oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
15:10What's going on?
15:11Wheelchair tongue depressor jello relay races.
15:13If you've never seen this before, you're in for a real treat.
15:16Go, go, go.
15:17Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
15:18Bumper if you have to.
15:19Oh, Dharma.
15:20What?
15:21Bumping's legal.
15:21Bumping is totally legal.
15:23Should you be doing this?
15:25I mean, I'm in pain no matter where I am.
15:26At least out here I can open this baby up and see what she's got.
15:29Hey, listen.
15:32I'm sorry that I was pushing you before.
15:36I know you're concerned about having the second operation, so I used some of my parents' connections
15:41and I got in touch with a guy who's supposed to be the best on the West Coast.
15:45His name is Dr. Gower and he's at UCLA, but he's flying up tonight.
15:48What?
15:48He checked your records and he agreed to do the operation and Dr. Coleman's totally cool with it.
15:52In fact, I think he's a little starstruck.
15:54Dharma, I thought you talked to Greg about this.
15:59Abby and Larry are taking me for a healing in Santa Fe.
16:02Well, how could you plan that without even talking to me?
16:06Oh, the Tito story about the stapler.
16:09That's what you wanted me to tell him.
16:12Can you guys give us a second?
16:13Yeah, sure, honey.
16:15I told him the one about the yellow house.
16:18What yellow house?
16:19Exactly.
16:20Honey, I know you want to help me.
16:22And I've been doing things your way, but this...
16:26It's my body.
16:28And I've always done a pretty good job taking care of it.
16:30And I always will.
16:31And right now, I really want to do things my way.
16:35What's wrong with that?
16:37Nothing.
16:38If it's just you going through this.
16:40But this isn't just you going through this.
16:41This is us going through this.
16:42And if there's any chance that this operation is going to make you better,
16:45you will have no right not to do it.
16:49Yes, yes, yes, you got it.
16:57Well, as best as I can tell, he's eaten six heartworm pills.
17:01Uh-huh.
17:01Well, I had them wrapped in raw turkey bacon.
17:03He must have taken them when I wasn't looking.
17:06He probably thought they were hors d'oeuvres.
17:09No, no, he's not a dog.
17:10He's a 65-year-old man.
17:17I called his doctor.
17:19They said to speak to you.
17:21Uh-huh.
17:22Uh-huh.
17:23Fine.
17:25Yes, thank you very much.
17:26All right, he said to walk you twice a day
17:28and keep you off of dry food for the weekend.
17:34If you want more stovetop casserole,
17:37there's plenty right there on the stovetop.
17:40And we have enough for two more weeks right here in the freezer,
17:44at which point I will come back and make you more.
17:47Because your mummy is here to help.
17:52You know, I didn't know if I was going to be able to make this dish,
17:55but I was delighted to find out that Dharma has finally started buying milk
17:59that comes from cows instead of beans.
18:06You know, Gregory,
18:08if Dharma didn't have you,
18:11she would be trying to fix that hip
18:12by sitting on some mountaintop in Kathmandu,
18:16wrapped in bark,
18:17instead of behaving like a normal person
18:18and having that operation tomorrow.
18:22She's come a long way in four years,
18:23and that is all you're doing.
18:26And I think you should feel very proud.
18:31Here, Edward.
18:32Din-din.
18:39How are you doing?
18:41I'm going to have an operation.
18:43They gave me a shot.
18:47You're going to have another operation?
18:49I need to be responsible.
18:52We're in this together.
18:54Hey, Dharma.
18:55Hey!
18:57They gave me a shot.
18:59This is Dr. Gower.
19:00Morning.
19:01And they're going to take you down to the operating room now.
19:03Now, do you have any questions?
19:06Would you ask my dead Indian friend if he would like a shot?
19:09Okay, I think you're good to go.
19:12I'll see you after the operation.
19:15Everybody, uh, hang on just a second.
19:17Um, I'm very sorry.
19:19There's going to be a change in plans.
19:23Don't make me know never mind.
19:25I had a shot.
19:28I had a shot.
19:44I'm sorry.
19:46I guess I kind of forgot who you were.
19:49It's okay.
19:56It's all going to be okay.
19:59All right.
20:02But...
20:22It's all going to happen.
20:27It's all gonna be okay.
20:28Oh
Comments