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مسلسل New Girl مترجم - Episode 5
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00:04CC!
00:08Beep beep!
00:10I saw you!
00:11I saw you!
00:13I saw you!
00:13Beep beep!
00:16Traffic patterns are really counterintuitive!
00:23Really catch-as-catch-can as far as foot baths go over here!
00:27Oh, you're talking?
00:29With your tongue-natter throat?
00:31CC!
00:32I got your text! Are you ready to go home?
00:34Thank you for coming!
00:36Jess, he was making out with another girl!
00:38You! Get away from here!
00:42Okay, who are you in his pajama, okay?
00:43You're blocking my boot! Get out of here!
00:45Don't talk to her like that, okay? That is my best friend!
00:49You ripped my deep feet!
00:52This is my favorite deep feet!
00:54It's just the deeper feet!
00:56Hey!
00:57Thanks for picking me up, Jess.
00:59I really felt that Gavin was different.
01:01Didn't you feel like he was different?
01:04Yeah, I mean, he seemed like a really nice European DJ with the face tattoo.
01:10Woo!
01:11Hey, guys!
01:12I think, Jess, I think these guys are into you.
01:14We should just go back, right?
01:16We should totally go back.
01:17Where am I taking you?
01:19No, I can't go home because Gavin's, like, staying at my place.
01:23You've known him for three weeks.
01:25Can I just crash with you for a couple days, please?
01:28I don't know. It's Friday night.
01:30The guys probably have big plans.
01:41Friday night, gentlemen.
01:43It's on.
01:44What happened to you?
01:45It's on and poppin' up in here, you feel?
01:47What happened to you?
01:48What?
01:49You didn't used to be like this, Schmidt.
01:50What are you talking about?
01:51You've gotten so much worse.
01:52It's on and poppin'.
01:53Who's that girl?
01:55Who's that girl?
01:56Who's that girl?
01:57Who's that girl?
01:58Who's that girl?
01:58It's Jess.
02:00Yes.
02:00I told you I'd come through.
02:02Okay, Benjamin just invited us to a very cool party.
02:04No, just got off three back-to-back shifts at the bar.
02:06I just want to sit here all weekend in silence playing this game.
02:09Then I want to go in my room and do weird stuff on my computer.
02:12Are you even wearing underwear?
02:13What is between you and that chair?
02:15Just a little bit of sunshine.
02:16All right, take off that kimono, please.
02:18It's my leisure wear, Winston.
02:20Look, I worked 80 hours this week.
02:22I just want to come home, put on my mono, and just hang loose, man.
02:26Okay?
02:26If you had a job, you'd understand.
02:29Really?
02:31Wow.
02:31It just got real in here.
02:32Okay, you're not going to take the kimono off?
02:34Fine.
02:34Then I'm not wearing any pants.
02:36Boom!
02:37Bam!
02:38Mm-hmm.
02:39Everybody want to just walk around this house wearing all kinds of stupid stuff.
02:42Then guess what I'm going to do, Schmidt?
02:43I'm wearing a napkin on my face!
02:46Bam!
02:47How you like that?
02:48That doesn't even make any sense, Winston.
02:49That makes perfect sense.
02:51It's totally different than me wearing my kimono.
02:53You are laughing in the face of thousands of years of samurai culture.
02:56And it's an affront, Winston.
02:57It's an affront.
02:58Look at me now, huh?
02:58This is the vibe we have in the house now because of you.
03:00You want to walk around here looking silly.
03:01This is handcrafted in China.
03:08Schmidt, I think you should take the kimono off.
03:13Um, Cece, can you not do your usual thing?
03:17These are really good guys.
03:18Best behavior.
03:20Sure.
03:21You brought that on yourself!
03:22You brought that on yourself!
03:22You brought that on yourself!
03:22You brought that on yourself!
03:25Whatcha doing?
03:28Oh, you know, we're just chilling.
03:29Just chilling.
03:31Just doing this, you know, Friday night.
03:33I'm gonna use the ladies.
03:35What's up, Cecilia?
03:36Where's this tequila?
03:40Guys.
03:43Okay, I would normally never bring her here, but Cece's really vulnerable right now.
03:48And when she's drunk, she has no boundaries.
03:51So, she's really grabby, really physical.
03:53She's really loose with her body.
03:55So, I just want to apologize in advance for anything that she might do.
04:00It's good to know.
04:01Yeah, thanks for telling us.
04:02Thank you guys.
04:03You're the best!
04:13This is the opposite of being alone!
04:16This is the opposite of what I wanted this weekend!
04:19Wow, how'd this happen?
04:22Okay, I'm not a part of this shit.
04:24I'm not a part of it.
04:26Hi, Cece, I'm gonna make you a bed on the couch, okay?
04:29So you're gonna have to stop dancing, okay?
04:31So you go to sleep.
04:32You know, Cece, I think you should dance if you want to.
04:35Why are you talking like that?
04:36Like what?
04:36I'm just hanging out.
04:38You get up!
04:39Really?
04:39Him?
04:40But I'm doing this!
04:43Come on, get up!
04:44No, I don't dance.
04:45I'm from the town in Footloose.
04:46Cece, he doesn't want to dance, Cece.
04:47I don't want to dance.
04:48I'm really good.
04:48Schmidt dances.
04:49Whoa!
04:50What the?
04:51Alright, you know what?
04:52I'm gonna go to bed.
04:53Good night.
04:54That's really not great under here.
04:56You have to love hair.
04:58I think it's time for bed.
04:59If you leave my bed, I'll sleep on the couch.
05:01Over here.
05:01Over here, Cece.
05:03Over here.
05:04Over here.
05:05Are you sheep-dogging her?
05:07Over here.
05:08Over here.
05:08Over here.
05:09Here we go.
05:12Good night, Cece.
05:16Yes.
05:17Yes.
05:18She is sleeping on my sheets right now.
05:20Not yours, bro.
05:21Mine.
05:23Parkour!
05:27You know what?
05:28I think I might actually have a chance with her.
05:31I just have to be cooler than that guy.
05:34Parkour!
05:34A wise man was foretold of a magical night
05:37where I would engage in non-sexual foreplay
05:38with a model, my friends.
05:40And tonight...
05:41Don't say, is that night?
05:42Is that night?
05:42No.
05:43Not a chance.
05:44Never gonna happen.
05:44You're not a closer.
05:45Oh, I'm a closer.
05:46I'mma close this conversation right now, my brother.
05:48Watch this.
05:49Boom.
05:49Bland.
05:50Close.
05:51Parkour!
05:52Shorts track.
05:53Speed skating.
05:55Apollo.
05:55Oh, no.
06:00Well, at least this tires him out, right?
06:02Yeah.
06:06Look, she's great.
06:07You're gonna love her.
06:08Do you want some eggs?
06:09No, I've got my own breakfast.
06:10I don't need you to...
06:11What?
06:12I don't know.
06:13Take care of me.
06:14Just stop being so nice.
06:16Your mother's being so nice.
06:19Slam on my mother.
06:21Your mother's gonna slam on your mother.
06:29And $4,000.
06:32Yeah.
06:33Oh, my God.
06:35Willkommen.
06:36You're covering an oil?
06:38What, oil?
06:39No.
06:39This is just, uh...
06:43You okay?
06:45Schmidt.
06:46Hey, are you okay?
06:48Whoa.
06:49Whoa.
06:50I just blacked out for a second.
06:52Anything weird happen?
06:53Okay.
06:54I need some water, so can you move?
06:56Yeah, that's not gonna happen, honey.
06:57Just, you know, slide me like a curtain, okay?
07:01There you go.
07:02I'm good.
07:03I'm good.
07:04Sweet.
07:05Hey, can you get me a coffee?
07:06Mm-hmm.
07:20What's going on, guys?
07:20Thanks.
07:22Oh, you're all in here.
07:23Um, does the water get any hotter than this?
07:26Uh, do you want me, uh...
07:28I mean, I could give you...
07:30Yeah, I can.
07:31I'm good at fixing...
07:32Yeah, I can fix it also.
07:34Actually, you know what?
07:35I'll just figure it out myself.
07:36But do you guys have any actual soap?
07:37Because all I can find in here is body gelato.
07:40That would be Schmidt's.
07:40Schmidt's gelato.
07:41The body gelato's mine.
07:42Don't use it all.
07:43I'll just not touch it.
07:44Okay.
07:45Hey, why are you guys all in here?
07:47I'm brushing my teeth.
07:48Doing the thing.
07:49She's hogging the shower.
07:50Cece, come on.
07:51Hurry up.
07:51Sorry, I just...
07:52I can't find any bigger towels for some reason.
07:59You have a really beautiful body, Cece.
08:01I really appreciate that about you.
08:02Okay, come on.
08:03I need your breakfast.
08:04You do?
08:05Yeah.
08:05I'm just kidding.
08:12Disappointed with all of you.
08:13Especially you.
08:14It was a bad moment.
08:15I thought you were better than that.
08:16I know.
08:17I am sometimes.
08:18Did you see that cleavage?
08:20I just wanted to get my arms stuck down there.
08:22Like, 127-hour style.
08:24And then...
08:24And then...
08:27I'll just cut it for days.
08:28I don't care.
08:28I'll cut through the bone, the nerve.
08:30Schmidt!
08:31You weren't upset because I was dancing with Nick, right?
08:34No, of course not.
08:36Because I think he's really into you.
08:38Nick?
08:38No.
08:39No.
08:40Come on, Jess.
08:40This is classic Eduardo.
08:44You want this to go to Cece, right?
08:46Jess!
08:47Okay, I'll give it to Cece.
08:49No.
08:50Jess!
08:51You don't want me to give it to Cece?
08:53Si, si.
08:54For you.
08:55For me.
08:56To give to Cece.
09:00We're just friends.
09:02You can't be friends with these guys.
09:04You don't think that every single one of them has thought about sleeping with you?
09:06No.
09:07You just think everyone wants to sleep with everyone all the time.
09:09They do.
09:10That's why I think that.
09:11Don't you hear how he says your name?
09:13Jess.
09:14He's from Chicago.
09:15That's how people from Chicago say Jess.
09:18Like bears.
09:19And milk.
09:19And let's go visit the Sears Tower.
09:23Hey Jess.
09:24I'm going to the drugstore.
09:25Need anything?
09:25Yes.
09:26Jess, you should go with them because then you can get that thing that you really need.
09:31Oh, I wonder what that is.
09:32She'll be right up.
09:36Just...
09:36No.
09:37No.
09:38No.
09:39You are not coming in here and ruining all this.
09:41I'm happy.
09:42I like these guys and I think they're actually starting to like me too.
09:45Who did you tell me was your perfect man?
09:47Walter Matthau and Grumpy Old Men and I could be Girl Jack Lemmon.
09:50He's a total Matthau.
09:51I'm telling you, he gets you.
09:53And did you see his feet?
09:54A guy's feet point at what they want.
09:56His feet were pointing right at him.
09:57Why wouldn't his feet point at me?
09:58Otherwise he's standing like a duck.
10:00Just come on.
10:00Go.
10:01Get out there.
10:01Hey, you ready?
10:02Come on.
10:03Be there in a sec, bro.
10:05You just call me bro?
10:08Yeah.
10:10Well, how long is she staying?
10:12Oh, it's not long.
10:14I know she can be tough to deal with.
10:15Sometimes she just calls me up and she's like,
10:18Bitch, I love you.
10:19And then she just hangs up.
10:20No other information.
10:25I don't know.
10:26I kind of like it when she calls me bitch.
10:28It makes me feel like Janis Joplin.
10:30Fine, but does she have to stay with us?
10:34What?
10:34I'm sorry.
10:35What?
10:35What did you say?
10:36I'm saying stop trying to take care of everyone.
10:39Oh my God.
10:40What?
10:40What?
10:41What?
10:41Nothing.
10:42What?
10:42What?
10:44What are you doing?
10:49I know she's your best friend, but I didn't mean to insult you.
10:52I just, you don't have to take care of her is what I meant.
10:53No, no, no.
10:54Okay.
10:56Yes.
10:57What are you doing?
10:58What are you doing?
10:58I'm sorry.
10:59I'm just checking.
11:00I just want to make sure.
11:01If I insulted you, I'm sorry, but what are you doing right now?
11:03Everything's in its place.
11:04What does that mean?
11:05Okay.
11:05I'm just walking like a friend.
11:08Okay.
11:08You know what?
11:09Forget this.
11:09Let's get out of here.
11:10Last on the list, toilet paper.
11:12Um, I don't use it.
11:15You don't use toilet paper.
11:19I mean, it's not what I meant.
11:23That's what your mother meant.
11:24What?
11:24Did my mother call?
11:25What did she say?
11:25No.
11:26Jess, I was joking.
11:35Look at her.
11:37Go for it, man.
11:38You know, go do your thing.
11:39I don't like the move, man.
11:40There's a cat up here.
11:41It's crazy.
11:42It was raised by birds.
11:44You mean to tell me you don't let a cat stop you from all that?
11:46It's a bird cat, man.
11:47It's very dangerous.
11:48Look it up.
11:48Double rabies.
11:49Right.
11:49You can't close.
11:54You just said the magic words, son.
11:58Baby, baby, don't cry.
12:00Look, I get it.
12:01I was the best lover you ever had.
12:03Yeah.
12:04A 90-minute sesh is pretty standard for me.
12:10It was God-what?
12:12Oh, it was God-like?
12:14Very sweet of you to say.
12:18My bad.
12:20Pocket dialed you.
12:21It's like I drop calls and Winston calls.
12:24It's crazy.
12:25The roof, you know what I mean?
12:30Hey, look, if he's ever bothering you.
12:31You both are.
12:32Cool.
12:33That's cool.
12:40Okay, what's going on with you, Jess?
12:41Why do you have to do that?
12:42Do what?
12:43Why do you have to say my name like that?
12:45Jess.
12:45And why do you have to wear old man clothes all the time?
12:47I don't wear old man clothes.
12:49You don't like the way I dress?
12:51No, I just...
12:52Did I do something to you?
12:53No, I just need air.
12:57Okay, I'll buy you one.
12:58Or two.
12:59They come as two.
12:59I'll buy two.
13:00No.
13:01Here, take some roses.
13:02You want them?
13:02It's two dollars.
13:03It's not a big deal.
13:05They're nice roses.
13:06Hey, what are you doing?
13:07Where are you going?
13:08Jess, it was a joke.
13:10What are you doing?
13:11Get back in the car.
13:13Where are you going?
13:19That's not the way home!
13:26Just working on Saturday.
13:28Pulling in them ducats.
13:29It's crazy.
13:30It's like golden handcuffs.
13:31You know what I mean?
13:32It's like on one hand, I'm killing myself.
13:34And on the other hand, I'm making all this baller dough.
13:37Oh!
13:39Sunburn!
13:41I told you to take that oil off.
13:42It's cool, man.
13:43It's just a little color.
13:44In a couple days, I'll be brown just like you, Cece.
13:48Because your culture is...
13:51You're...
13:52You're...
13:52Um...
13:53Frish.
13:55Um...
13:55Je...
13:56Je...
13:56Jef...
13:57Jef- Lan...
13:58Jef- Lance...
13:59Jef-Lance.
13:59Uh, Sa- Sa- Saudis...
14:01Sa- Saudi-Vu.
14:04Um...
14:05Long ago...
14:05monthly?
14:06My parents are born in India.
14:07India, totally. Love India.
14:09He really does.
14:11Hey, Schmitt, why don't you tell her about all the things you love about India?
14:16Uh, sure, I love, you know, uh, I love Slumdog, I love Naan, uh, Pepper, Ben Kingsley,
14:24the stories of Rudyard Kipling, I have respect for cows, of course.
14:28I love, uh, the Taj Mahal, Deepak Chopra, anyone named Patel.
14:34I love Monsoons, I love, I love Cobras and Baskets, Naveen Andrews, love Mango Chutney,
14:41uh, really any type of chutney, teepees.
14:44Hey, Schmitt, take a lap, refresh.
14:45Yep.
14:49That was pretty good.
14:51I know.
14:51You're working a little too hard though, watch this.
14:53Schmitt!
14:54Yes?
14:54Go up to the roof.
14:56Yeah, I'm gonna go up to the roof.
14:58I'll be there in ten minutes.
14:59Cool, I'll see you in like ten.
15:01That was absolutely amazing.
15:03That was a good sandwich.
15:06I walked home.
15:09I got out of the car and I walked home.
15:11Why, what happened?
15:12His feet were pointed directly at me the whole time.
15:15Did I do this?
15:16Am I dressing too provocatively?
15:18Do I need to get thicker pajamas?
15:20Maybe it's my posture, I have really sexy posture.
15:23You know what, don't worry about it.
15:24I will talk to him for you.
15:25No, no, you won't.
15:26That would be the worst, most life-ruining thing you could possibly.
15:28Hey Nick.
15:29Seriously Jess, what the hell happened?
15:32I've been driving around for the last hour looking for you.
15:34Everything is okay and we were hoping to get everything out on the table.
15:38The table, which is not a table, it doesn't exist.
15:40Don't worry about the table.
15:41We were in the middle of traffic and you just got out and ran away.
15:45I was hot.
15:45What?
15:45You were so hot that you had to jump out of my car and run?
15:50Why are you standing like that?
15:51This is how I stand.
15:53I've never seen you stand like that.
15:54I was really worried something had happened to you, okay?
15:57And you can't just walk around this neighborhood with bags full of toilet paper that you don't
16:01even use.
16:03What?
16:04I told him I don't use toilet paper.
16:07Okay, do you hear what he is saying to you?
16:10Oh yes, I hear what he is saying.
16:11He cares about me.
16:12No, he doesn't care about me.
16:14He cares about me.
16:15He's a friend so hard, Jess.
16:16No, it is not.
16:17No.
16:17No.
16:18I'm trying to help you.
16:20No.
16:21Okay, no.
16:21My face is my job.
16:22My face is my job.
16:24Okay.
16:25No.
16:27No.
16:28No.
16:29My earring.
16:30Okay.
16:32It is stuck in your hair.
16:33Okay, can you get it out?
16:34No.
16:36Okay, we'll do it on the floor.
16:37Oh.
16:37I'm going to get out, but don't worry.
16:38It's an okay.
16:39Okay, all right.
16:40Okay, here we go.
16:41What's wrong with you?
16:41I'm trying to help you.
16:43No.
16:43I don't need your help.
16:44You don't know.
16:45Nick and I are friends.
16:46You don't know because you don't have guy friends at all.
16:48You just hang out with jerks like Gavin.
16:50Oh, I'm sorry.
16:51DJ Diabetes.
16:53He has diabetes.
16:54Oh, he does.
16:55Boo hoo.
16:57I'm sorry.
16:57Is it really bad?
16:58I feel really bad.
16:59I don't know if he's fine.
17:00He takes medication.
17:01Why don't you just come in and you take over?
17:04It's like you're playing mind games with people.
17:06Okay, don't put this on my chest, okay?
17:07I'm trying to help you.
17:08You never make a move on-
17:09I need your help.
17:10I like moving slow.
17:12I like being weird and taking my time.
17:14I'm not like you.
17:14I don't just jump in the potato sack with the first potato that I meet with diabetes.
17:19Okay, what did you just say?
17:21You heard me, bitch.
17:27Oh.
17:28What is that?
17:29Oh, no.
17:30What?
17:30What did you do?
17:31Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
17:32What did you do?
17:33Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
17:37What did you do?
17:37Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
17:46What did you do?
17:47Hey, Schmidt.
17:48How you doing?
17:49Can I sit with you on your cooler here?
17:51Yeah.
17:52Just chilling.
17:53Hanging with the cat.
17:55Holla.
17:57Sorry that Cece did this to you.
17:59Eh, it's okay.
18:00I'm used to it.
18:02I guess I'll just always be the fat kid with the big dreams.
18:05It's not you.
18:06I love Cece, but she's not ready for you.
18:09You're a good guy.
18:10You know, if you ignore everything that you do on purpose and concentrate on all the things
18:15that you do by accident.
18:20She'd eat you up.
18:24You really think she'd eat me up?
18:25Yeah.
18:27Like buffet style?
18:29You know, all you can eat, cause I got that prime rib, yo.
18:33Carving station, plates are warm, sneeze guard, kids eat for free.
18:38I mean, except for the, except for the last...
18:41Alright, let's go.
18:42Let's go, Schmidt.
18:43Okay?
18:44Okay.
18:49Hey, Cece, um, look, I get it.
18:55This isn't gonna happen.
18:57The couch is super uncomfortable, my sunburn's starting to blister, and I just wanna sleep
19:04in my own bed.
19:05Okay.
19:05Okay.
19:24I'm sorry for everything.
19:28I can be a jerk.
19:30Sometimes.
19:38I hate sleeping alone.
19:42Me too.
19:44Sweet.
19:50Shall we...
19:51Better when you don't talk.
19:52Yeah.
20:02If you tell anyone we held hands, I have two people on my phone that will kill you.
20:07Literally.
20:07Not really.
20:23Mm.
20:25Cool.
20:42Hey.
20:46I'm sorry that I was so weird today.
20:49Weird!
20:50It's okay.
21:08I did it, man.
21:09I'm holding her hand right now.
21:10She's in my bed.
21:11She's asleep.
21:12Wait, so you're in...
21:13You're in the room right now?
21:15What is wrong with you?
21:17Hang up the phone.
21:18I did it.
21:19I closed.
21:20We can have this conversation at any time.
21:22Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
21:26Okay, we're good.
21:27And just so we're clear, when I say closing, this is not what I'm talking about.
21:30You need to define your terms, because what I'm doing right now feels an awful lot like closing.
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