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مسلسل New Girl مترجم - Episode 4
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00:07Oh, scary movie. I hate scary movies. Why are we watching this?
00:12We're not watching this, Jess. We're watching it.
00:26It's so fun, hanging with the dudes, eating ice cream, watching scary movies.
00:32We're not scared of a dude.
00:34You know what we should watch? Have you guys ever seen Fame?
00:43It's about a group of dreamers with talent to spare, taking New York City by storm.
00:48One dance number at a time. The cafeteria. The street...
00:52Oh! That's so much blood spurting.
00:58Mmm. That's good.
01:00That guy's gonna blow himself up.
01:03Why would that guy blow himself up?
01:08Sorry, I saw it in the theater.
01:10You know what else we should watch? An American tale.
01:13It's about a little Jewish mouse with a great big heart.
01:16Alright.
01:17Wait.
01:18Where are you guys going?
01:19Hey girl, whatcha doin'?
01:25Hey girl, where you goin'?
01:30Who's that girl?
01:32Who's that girl?
01:33Who's that girl?
01:34Who's that girl?
01:48Who's that girl?
01:49It's not a date, Schmidt.
01:51Actually, I don't know what it is.
01:52She's a...
01:53She's a little hard to read.
01:55Wouldn't it be funny if we like, went out?
01:58Like...
01:58Do you wanna go on a date?
01:59Yeah, we'd like, go for dinner.
02:01And like, the two of us would like, do stuff.
02:03Is that a yes?
02:04I know, right?
02:05Seriously, do you wanna get dinner or something?
02:06No, I know.
02:07Sometimes she's so ironic, that I think she's being serious.
02:10I get it.
02:11Led Zeppelin is classic, but I'm gonna smell like Steve Miller Band.
02:15Steve Miller Band the Joker, right?
02:21Oh, yeah.
02:22No, I love Steve Miller Band.
02:25Okay, look.
02:25You've been out of the game for a while.
02:27I have three date packages.
02:28They work every time.
02:29Package A, close-up magic.
02:32Dinner, drinks.
02:33Package B, close-up magic.
02:36Drinks.
02:37Package C, close-up magic.
02:40You have a date?
02:42Fun.
02:42I wanna talk to you guys about this stuff.
02:44With Amanda.
02:45Schmidt.
02:46Amanda?
02:47From the bar?
02:48Whoa.
02:49She's a looker.
02:50Hachi-machi.
02:52Yeah, I know how hot she is, Jess.
02:53Have you been out with anyone since Caroline?
02:56No.
02:56Whoa.
02:58Big deal alert.
03:00Scary stuff, kids.
03:01Yeesh.
03:02Falling rocks.
03:03Bridge out.
03:04Duck.
03:05This is why I don't talk to you, Jess.
03:06Nick, you're gonna be fine.
03:07Don't worry about it.
03:08Just, you know, suck in the gut.
03:10What's that?
03:12What gut?
03:12The little pooch where you keep your extra cookies.
03:34All right.
03:37All right.
04:10I had a lot of adventures in this room while you were gone.
04:13Winston.
04:15How'd the job interview go?
04:17You know, terrible.
04:18Did you see the JWoww retweet of the Gaga twit pic?
04:23I know Word.
04:24And I can open a document.
04:26Save it.
04:27Save as.
04:29Print.
04:30Print preview?
04:32She just wanted to chit chat about stuff I've never heard of before.
04:34Well, you gotta get up to speed, man.
04:36The chit chat is the interview.
04:38I have spent the last two years of my life in Latvia.
04:40I was playing ball year round, man.
04:42I didn't read the news.
04:43I have no idea of what happened in America.
04:45I've got interviews tomorrow.
04:46Fill me in.
04:46What'd I miss?
04:47From the past two years?
04:48Give me the highlights.
04:49Highlights.
04:50Okay.
04:51Country's broke.
04:53Betty White's back.
04:54Cool, cool.
04:55What about the rest of the Golden Girls?
04:58They're all dead, man.
05:00Damn.
05:02Damn.
05:02You know what?
05:03Give me your computer.
05:04I gotta get started, man.
05:05I'm going in.
05:23Here's what it is.
05:28Hey, Nick.
05:29Can you turn down that music?
05:38Hey, Nick.
05:39Can you turn down that music?
05:40Hey, Nick.
05:41Can you please?
05:42What?
05:43What are you?
05:46Oh, my God.
05:55Look at you.
05:56Look at you.
05:56You're like an animal.
05:57What are you watching now?
05:58The King's Speech and Human Centipede.
06:00Next up, Precious and David after Dentist.
06:05I think you're doing a good job.
06:06Okay, you know what?
06:06Test me.
06:07Pretend this is an interview.
06:07Hit me with the chit chat.
06:08Ask me anything.
06:10Chit chat.
06:10Let's go.
06:11Get it, man.
06:11Let's go!
06:12Come on, what are you waiting for, man?
06:13You're getting intense right now.
06:14You're the intense one.
06:15I think you need to bring it down.
06:18Can I talk to you for a sec?
06:20Something's happened.
06:21It was totally an accident.
06:24Not a big deal.
06:25I just want to do the mature thing and come clean about it.
06:28But, um, I accidentally saw Nick's peepee.
06:33What?
06:33What did she say?
06:34I accidentally saw Nick's peepee and his bubbles.
06:39But it's not a big deal.
06:41Ain't no thing.
06:42Ain't no thing.
06:45Oh, Nick, hey.
06:46Hey.
06:48So, that was weird, right?
06:50I'm running out the door, Jess.
06:52I think we should talk about it.
06:53Talk about what?
06:55About me seeing your peen.
07:02The peen, what I saw.
07:05Bonjour, le peen.
07:07You're blocking the door.
07:08Okay.
07:08Cool.
07:09Have fun on your date.
07:11Tell that guy to behave.
07:13The adventure begins.
07:15Okay.
07:15Excuse me, Jess.
07:24That was so horrible.
07:27What am I going to do?
07:28He's never going to speak to me again.
07:29I'm so embarrassed.
07:31Not a big deal.
07:31I've seen Nick's stuff like a million times.
07:34You have?
07:35I mean, how?
07:37We grew up together.
07:38Locker rooms, swimming pools, penis fights.
07:40It just happens.
07:41Why haven't I seen it?
07:43Why do you want to see it?
07:44He's my best friend.
07:46Again, why do you want to see it?
07:48What if Nick gets into an accident?
07:49What if he's horribly disfigured and I have to identify him?
07:52And all that remains are his private parts.
07:55And I'm standing there and I'm saying, sorry, officer.
07:58I can't help you.
07:59Because no, I haven't seen his penis.
08:02And then, boom, he's buried in an unmarked grave.
08:06Again, why do you want to see it?
08:07What did it look like?
08:08What do you mean?
08:09Just say when.
08:10Just say, seriously?
08:11Seriously?
08:12Are you serious?
08:14Okay.
08:14This is impossible.
08:16I'm starting over.
08:18Schmidt, I need your help.
08:20Okay.
08:21Alright, Jess, fine.
08:23What happened after you walked in?
08:25I don't know.
08:26I kind of laughed.
08:27Jess, you can't laugh at a naked man.
08:30And especially Nick.
08:31Nick is delicate.
08:32Like a flower.
08:34Like a chubby, damaged flower who hates himself.
08:36Now listen to me.
08:37You're going to act like this never happened.
08:40We live together.
08:41We're a family.
08:42Families talk about things.
08:44No.
08:44Families ignore things until they go away.
08:48Hey, Mom.
08:49Hey, Mom.
08:49Hey, Mom.
08:49I'm a buddy, Mom.
08:50Mom.
08:51Mom.
08:52Mom.
08:52Mom.
08:53I'm a buddy, Mom.
08:54Mom.
08:54No one wants to talk about their feelings, Jess.
08:57Never talk about this again.
08:58Okay.
08:59I'll ignore it.
09:01I'm not going to talk about it.
09:03Or sing about it.
09:04The bing bong.
09:06I'm done.
09:07This is my, my chambre.
09:09What does that mean?
09:12You're a good kisser.
09:15Can we, can we be serious?
09:17Do you mind just being serious?
09:18I'm going to get serious on your face.
09:21I have no idea what that means.
09:23Actually, let's not laugh when you're near my penis.
09:27Take it off.
09:29Here.
09:30Just take your shirt off.
09:40All right.
09:42Here.
09:42Do you, do you want me to go first?
09:44You're offering just to take your, oh my God.
09:48Look at you.
09:50Take off your clothes now.
10:05President Obama.
10:07Yeah, I'd like him to watch over me.
10:09Do you like, want to take it slow?
10:12Or something?
10:16This is nice.
10:18Yeah.
10:19It's starting to even look like a triple rainbow.
10:22Oh my God, it's so hot.
10:29Hi Nick.
10:31So I guess your date went well.
10:34Sleepover party.
10:37I have something from school that, um, made me think of you.
10:48It's a feeling stick.
10:51Whoever's holding the feeling stick has permission to say whatever he or she is feeling without being judged.
10:56I'll go first.
10:57Um, I feel like I want to know what you're feeling.
11:12Believe it or not, that's not the first time someone's broken my feeling stick.
11:22I have a travel size.
11:23No.
11:25Nick, wait!
11:27Nick!
11:28We have to talk about this!
11:30What are you doing?
11:32I'm sorry I saw your doozer and your chickadees and I didn't mean to laugh.
11:36I just...
11:37Then why did you laugh?
11:38Is there something funny about it?
11:40No.
11:42Beautiful.
11:44Stately.
11:45A real treat.
11:46Oh my God!
11:51I think it's great you dance naked to Jamaican music.
11:54That's really cool.
11:56You should explore your sexuality.
12:00Nick.
12:01Excuse me.
12:03Come on Nick!
12:04I dance naked all the time!
12:05We have to talk about this!
12:10Nick!
12:11Oh!
12:20Nick!
12:20Nick!
12:21Please talk to me!
12:22Jess, there's nothing to talk about. You ruined my date.
12:25Every time I tried to take my clothes off, Jess, I heard your little ha-ha, your little crazy giggle
12:31scream.
12:32And all I want to do is have meaningless sex with a beautiful woman who, yes, talks in mind-bending
12:38riddles,
12:39but I can't because I can't get your little ha-ha out of my head.
12:48Well, maybe you don't want to have meaningless sex. Maybe that's not your style.
12:51I have a bing-bong and chickadees. It is my style.
12:56Stop following me.
12:58Then stop running away from me. I just want to have a mature conversation.
13:01How can we have a mature conversation when you can't even say the word penis?
13:05I can say the word peen.
13:07Say it.
13:08I...
13:09Peern-yes.
13:11What?
13:12Peern-yes.
13:13You said peern-yes.
13:15Peen-yes.
13:16Not singing.
13:17Peen-yes.
13:19Not like a ghoul.
13:21I can say it.
13:24Peen-est.
13:25No, you said peen-est.
13:26Peen-est pey.
13:27Not pig Latin.
13:29Peern-yes.
13:30Okay, not in Swedish.
13:31No.
13:31Not in fake Italian.
13:32Peen-yes.
13:34Shut up!
13:36Say it with me.
13:37Pe-
13:38Peen-est.
13:39Peen-est.
13:40Yeah, I'm the one that's immature.
13:54I'm the only one who hasn't seen it.
13:56What?
13:57Just the gun.
13:58No.
13:59Just the roses.
14:00What?
14:01Just the hub.
14:02We're a connect.
14:03Get out!
14:03Fine!
14:04I thought we were best friends.
14:06We are.
14:07Apparently not.
14:09Best friends don't do this, Schmidt.
14:10They do it all the time.
14:15You laughed?
14:16Yeah, I couldn't help it.
14:18Did you freak out and make that noise that you always make?
14:20What?
14:21I don't always make a noise.
14:27Fine.
14:28I guess I missed the moment when everybody got cool about sex.
14:33I really messed up.
14:36Nah.
14:36Guys are simple.
14:37You know what I would do?
14:38I would just make it even.
14:40You've seen his.
14:41Show him yours.
14:43No.
14:44I can't do that.
14:46Hey, Winston.
14:48Oh, no.
14:49Oh, man, the interview.
14:51Did you mess up?
14:52No.
14:53I didn't mess up.
14:55Killed it.
14:56I was amazing.
14:57At one point, I was on the outside of my body watching myself be amazing.
15:01Well, that's a good thing, right?
15:02The woman asked me why I wanted to sell medical supplies.
15:05I had no answer.
15:07I've done nothing but play basketball my entire life.
15:11Winston Bishop is an American basketball player who played professionally in Latvia,
15:15and he loves ducks.
15:20Winston, did you write the part about the ducks?
15:22I don't even like ducks that much, man.
15:23Oh, okay.
15:24Look, man, you got to get off Wikipedia, all right?
15:27You're going crazy.
15:28I was the guy who was good enough to play in Latvia.
15:31And then one day, I don't know, man, I just lost it.
15:35They found another black guy.
15:38Labak Melno Viric.
15:40Means the better black guy.
15:42A better Melno?
15:43You're the best Melno.
15:44I don't know, man.
15:45I just don't know what comes next.
15:46You know what you do next?
15:47Come on.
15:47You're going to get up.
15:48Let's get up.
15:48Come on, buddy.
15:49We're going to get you out of the house.
15:50We're going to get you moving.
15:51It's going to feel good.
15:52Woo!
15:53It feels good.
15:54Totally.
15:55I love it.
15:56You know, I think I was just scared, man.
15:59I've been playing basketball my whole entire life.
16:01What if I was wasting my time?
16:03Maybe I should have been figuring out my life like you.
16:05I don't have anything figured out.
16:07I'm a fully grown man with roommates.
16:09I've got a stupid job.
16:10I'm single.
16:11My best friend won't even let me see his penis.
16:13I mean, my whole life is a sham.
16:15Ow!
16:16Wow.
16:17I actually feel a lot better.
16:19Thanks, Schmidt.
16:21Wins are my legs.
16:22My legs are seizing up.
16:24Schmidt, I hate my life.
16:26I hate my...
16:26I'm making new discoveries.
16:28I'm a fear-based person, apparently.
16:30Stop it.
16:30Go.
16:30I need a coffee.
16:31Give me a hug.
16:32Please.
16:32911.
16:33Ow.
16:34Ow.
16:39Hey.
16:40Hey.
16:41I'm sorry about last night, Amanda.
16:44So you're, like, super into cuddling?
16:47No, I'm not super into cuddling.
16:49I'm just getting out of a relationship, and I think I got nervous.
16:54I've heard that I'm not great at talking about what I'm feeling all the time, and so I'm sorry
17:00about last night.
17:02Honesty.
17:05I like that.
17:27You're so hot.
17:30I can't believe you're into me.
17:32Okay, thank you.
17:33I'll be good.
17:35All right, wow.
17:36Oh, wow, this is happening.
17:37Take off your pants.
17:38Take off your pants.
17:39Okay, okay.
17:39Here, take your pants off.
17:41Yeah.
17:41Yeah, I'm going to take them off.
17:42Take them off.
17:43Yeah, I'll take this off.
17:44Okay, want me to take these off?
17:44Yeah.
17:45Okay, lights on, pants off.
17:46Here we go.
17:47Okay.
17:49Girl, I'm totally cool with this.
17:50Yeah.
17:52Yeah.
17:53All right.
17:54Good.
17:54Okay.
17:56Okay.
17:58What are you doing?
18:00What?
18:01Who is that?
18:03That's...
18:05Oh, my God.
18:11Hi, I'm Jess.
18:14Welcome to our home.
18:21We live in a world with rules.
18:24We knock.
18:25We have doors.
18:27And we knock on those doors.
18:29I'm sorry, Nick.
18:31Just knock.
18:36Nick?
18:38I feel that Nick is not honoring the feeling stick.
18:52I feel me, too.
18:56I feel Schmidt's had a particularly bad day, and I feel that if Nick is truly Schmidt's friend,
19:02he would show Schmidt what's in his pants.
19:06I feel supported.
19:07What is going on with you two?
19:10What are you doing?
19:13I feel Nick is yelling.
19:14Stop it!
19:15Stop it!
19:19Yo.
19:21I just wanted to thank you for taking me running.
19:24It made me feel a lot better.
19:26I might not have a job or anything, but at least I can run a mile.
19:30I've been watching you try to run.
19:31Yeah, that was just pathetic.
19:33I needed that.
19:34I suffer from exercise-induced asthma.
19:36You suffer from exercise-induced crying?
19:38It's a real thing, man.
19:39Okay.
19:40EIA.
19:41You know what I learned from the internet?
19:43We got nothing to worry about.
19:45Everybody has their moment.
19:47We might get a cat one day.
19:48That cat might play the keyboard.
19:50A bear might fall on our trampoline.
19:52We don't need to have it figured out right now.
19:56Our moments will come.
19:59Hey, man.
20:01Let's keep rowing out.
20:06Come in.
20:08Jess, you don't have to knock once you're in the room.
20:14I worked on something for you.
20:16All right.
20:21Penis.
20:23Very good.
20:26Um, so did Amanda call you back?
20:28No, I don't see Amanda calling me back.
20:30I'm sorry.
20:31It's okay.
20:32Maybe you were right.
20:33Maybe I'm not ready for meaningless sex with beautiful women.
20:37Well, you know, maybe when you are, you'll be able to show her your other penis.
20:43Your heart penis.
20:44Get out of my room.
20:45Okay.
20:45Hey, um, when I was, um, leaving in a hurry, um, did you see everything?
20:58Yep.
20:59Even my gumball pot?
21:02Ugh, gumball pot?
21:04Get out.
21:19Get out.
21:21I'm the only one who hasn't seen it.
21:23I'm the only one who hasn't seen it.
21:45I'm the only one who hasn't seen it.
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