- 16 hours ago
مسلسل New Girl مترجم - Episode 3
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00:01It's our first wedding together, so we need nicknames.
00:04Nick is Nick-Nack or Mr. Suspenders.
00:07No nicknames, okay?
00:08Your only job tonight is to be Nick's girlfriend, okay?
00:11And make sure that he stays out of trouble with Caroline.
00:13Why can't you and Winston help?
00:14We've tried.
00:16He doesn't listen to us anymore.
00:18She's not coming back.
00:20He's right, I don't.
00:22No.
00:23That is the ugliest dress I have ever seen, Jess.
00:27I'm really gonna need you to step it up tonight, okay?
00:29When I see you, I want to be thinking,
00:32who let the dirty slut out of the sluthouse?
00:35Probably the slut back there, right?
00:38Yo, let's go. We can't be late. I am in the wedding.
00:41You're the usher, so relax.
00:42Yeah, I'll be busy.
00:43That way I won't have to sit around answering a bunch of stupid questions all day.
00:46Like, do you have a job?
00:48Are you still playing basketball?
00:49Does it look like I'm still playing overseas basketball?
00:52What is the matter with you?
00:54This is the first job I've had in like two months, dude,
00:56and I really want to just get in there and ush this wedding in the face.
00:58You're gonna be great, man.
01:00So when we do the chicken dance, I do it a little bit differently.
01:03I know that usually it goes like da-da-da-da-da-da.
01:06Oh. Da-da-da-da-da-da.
01:07Mm. Mm. Mm.
01:09But instead of doing claps, I like to do a peck.
01:12Cuz it's more realistic.
01:13No chicken dance.
01:15Look. We're not trying to be mean.
01:16We just don't want you to be yourself.
01:19In any way.
01:20Okay. Suppress the Jess. Got it.
01:24Did you use my hair gel?
01:26Did I use your hair gel?
01:27I'm not gonna be mad. Just let me know if you did.
01:29No.
01:30Sure. I used your hair gel.
01:33Are you serious?
01:34Yeah. It's...
01:37Who let the dirty slut out of the slut house?
01:40Wow. You look great.
01:43Let's go knock biscuits, brother cousins.
01:45No! No teeth, Jess! You can't use prop teeth!
01:48Come on, guys. These are hilarious. Kids love these.
01:54Who's that girl?
01:55Who's that girl?
01:56It's Jess.
02:05Want to know one of my beauty secrets?
02:07The only way I could fit in this dress
02:09was by wearing little girl's bicycle shorts underneath.
02:12They are tight.
02:13I will not be peeing tonight.
02:15Oh, my God. Bubbles.
02:16No, no, no, Jess. No bubbles. No bubbles. Please.
02:18Ooh, a lot of big game here tonight. Ew.
02:23Oh, there's Brooke.
02:24Who's Brooke?
02:25He's been into her since freshman year.
02:27She used to get drunk and pass out on her porch.
02:29It was like having a hot, alcoholic cat.
02:31I'd always leave water out for her.
02:32Okay. Tonight just got real.
02:35She goes on top of the kill list.
02:36Is that because you're gonna attempt to kill her
02:38by having sex with her?
02:40More or less, yeah.
02:41Oh, Schmidt. One day you're gonna kill the nicest girl.
02:46Look at my new boyfriend.
02:48So fancy in his big boy tie.
02:51Jess, would you please stop?
02:52Okay, what is it with Caroline?
02:54You're like a different person.
02:55Just focus on getting through today, please.
02:57Okay, Mr. Boyty, friend.
03:00What did I tell you?
03:01Don't be myself.
03:02Yes.
03:03That's what I love about our relationship.
03:04You never let me be myself.
03:08Hey.
03:10Winston.
03:11Hey.
03:12You back?
03:13Yeah.
03:14What are you up to?
03:14Where are you working at?
03:16Here.
03:17As an usher.
03:19Hi, what a beautiful dress.
03:20I'm surprised you noticed a dress.
03:22I was distracted by the woman inside.
03:25Jimmy Long Jam, alternate usher.
03:28Alternate usher.
03:29I mean, I'm here.
03:30I'm the usher.
03:31You were late.
03:31It's called commitment.
03:32Look it up in a typewriter, old man.
03:34What?
03:34How much money do you make?
03:36Where is your mother?
03:37Can somebody help you?
03:37Hello, brighter groom.
03:38Hello, brighter groom.
03:47Oh, no.
03:48No, not tonight.
03:49No.
03:52Who's that?
03:53It's Gretchen Nelson.
03:54She's a terrible person.
03:55We can't stand each other.
03:56At every wedding, we end up having sex.
04:10Look, the sex is amazing.
04:12She's coming over.
04:13Hey, there are those people that we know.
04:15Who?
04:15What people?
04:19Hello, Gretchen.
04:19Mm-hmm.
04:21So you wore the pantsuit again.
04:22This is a new one.
04:24It's got way more stretch than the pants.
04:27It's horrible.
04:28Are you ready for tonight?
04:29I'm gonna tie you down and show you pictures of my river rafting trip.
04:33Oh, God.
04:33How many are there?
04:34It's a two hour slideshow.
04:36No, Gretchen.
04:37We can't do this anymore, okay?
04:38It's not healthy.
04:39All right, please.
04:40No more.
04:43There she is.
04:44There she is.
04:45She's right over there.
04:45There she is.
04:46She's right over here.
04:47She's right.
04:49Just be cool.
04:50Okay.
04:50Hi.
04:52Hey, Caroline.
04:53Wow.
04:53I didn't know you were gonna be here.
04:55It's great to see you.
04:56Nicholas, you have to introduce me.
04:58Uh, yeah, of course.
04:59Uh, Jess.
05:00This is Caroline.
05:02Hi.
05:02One more time.
05:03Caroline?
05:04Uh, Caroline.
05:05Carolu?
05:06Coraline.
05:06Caroline.
05:07Oh, okay.
05:09Fancy.
05:10Well, I'm Nicholas' girlfriend.
05:13We just started dating, so we're still in that honeymoon phase.
05:16I barely sleep.
05:18So much doing it.
05:19So much doing it.
05:21It's crazy.
05:21He's so soft like a towel.
05:23Well, it was nice to meet you.
05:25So nice to meet you too, Carol.
05:28Caroline.
05:29I give up.
05:30I guess I'll see you later.
05:32For sure.
05:32For sure.
05:38Oh, my God.
05:38Was she jealous?
05:39I think she was jealous.
05:40You did so good.
05:42That was remarkable.
05:43I just didn't want my mama learnt me.
05:46Give me the teeth.
06:01Brooke.
06:01Hi.
06:03Wow.
06:04Schmidt.
06:06You spar my poncho.
06:07Freshman year.
06:08Remember that?
06:09No?
06:12Fat Schmidt.
06:14Fat Schmidt.
06:15Of course.
06:16Wow.
06:17You look great.
06:19You also, for sure.
06:21Um, how are your classes?
06:23I mean, not that we're not going to school anymore.
06:25I know that.
06:26What are you drinking?
06:27White wine?
06:28I'm not drinking.
06:30I'm sober.
06:31Six months.
06:32Can I get a seltzer, please?
06:33Me too.
06:35You're six months sober also?
06:36Seven months.
06:37One month.
06:38Wow.
06:38That's great.
06:39Congratulations.
06:40Here's your white wine.
06:42What?
06:42What?
06:42That's a mistake.
06:43No, I didn't know that.
06:44No.
06:45No, sir.
06:47Even the smell of it.
06:48I'm gonna run back to my table.
06:51But you can come talk to me if you need to.
06:54Okay.
06:57So what I need you to do is this.
06:58I need you to put vodka in a water bottle, okay?
07:01And rendezvous with me in the restroom, okay?
07:05Same page.
07:06Same page.
07:11This kid is pushing my buddies.
07:13Winston, he's just a little boy.
07:15Relax.
07:16Rook-ass.
07:17I'm six months clean and sober and looking to settle down.
07:20Great.
07:21Schmidt's sober.
07:22What are you doing?
07:23She's looking at us.
07:28What is she?
07:29Like a yam.
07:30Yeah, I know.
07:31I can't wear soft hats.
07:32Uh-huh.
07:33Hey, when she comes here, I want to talk to her about myself.
07:34No.
07:35Are you sure?
07:36Jess, I'm fine.
07:36For real.
07:37Hi.
07:38Would that ceremony have lasted any longer?
07:40Ha-ha-ha.
07:41We loved it.
07:42Taking notes in case Mr. Commitment Bobe over here
07:44decides to make an honest woman out of me.
07:47Hey, Jess.
07:49Did you want to go do that thing from...
07:51Yes, I did.
07:52I wanted to do it very badly.
07:53Yep.
07:54And now, for the first time ever,
07:57Mr. and Mrs. Handelman Pion.
08:06Yay!
08:08Bride and groom!
08:10Make way!
08:11Huzzah!
08:13Celebrate!
08:14Love!
08:15Get ready for a wonderful life of merriment and joy!
08:21Jess is great.
08:23The best.
08:24Yeah.
08:25So happy.
08:26Are you guys pretty serious?
08:28Yes, sir.
08:29Yeah, we are pretty serious.
08:31Yeah, we live together.
08:32I mean, different bedrooms, but shared bathrooms, so that's something.
08:37Alcohol.
08:38Any kind of alcohol you have.
08:39Just give me anything.
08:42Give me that.
08:43Oh, God.
08:45It's like you're lapping it out of a puddle.
08:48Where'd you get those boots off a lady hiker?
08:51Look at those earrings.
08:51Are they clip-ons?
08:54I'm gonna make you wear them.
08:58Huh?
08:59No.
08:59Huh?
09:05Is it better that I can't feel my legs?
09:07Yes.
09:07Now let's talk about my problems.
09:09Jess, I have to go home with Brooke tonight.
09:11I deserve someone like Brooke.
09:13She's perfect.
09:13And it doesn't matter that I have gymnastic, mean-spirited, highly educational sex with Gretchen.
09:20It's just that's not what I want to do anymore, okay?
09:22Not tonight.
09:22What's so bad about liking Gretchen?
09:24I mean, you guys obviously have like a weird connection.
09:26No, no, no, no.
09:27I want to connect with Brooke.
09:29You want to connect with her in the shower, on the floor.
09:31Okay, you know what?
09:32You can keep talking about it.
09:33I'm gonna put my hands over my ears.
09:36We got a problem.
09:37What?
09:39Jess, what did you do?
09:41Look, they're fine.
09:42They're just talking.
09:43No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
09:45With Caroline, he is not fine.
09:47Okay, he ran into her at a party two months ago, then sent me a 10-page email about what
09:51she meant when she said, I'll see you soon.
09:54She will flirt with him until she knows she can have him.
09:57It's like he's her backup plan.
09:59I didn't know that.
10:01You want to live with Nick when he's not showering and crying all day?
10:04Yeah, it just sounds like this.
10:05You ever heard a grown man sob and listen to Simon and Garfunkel?
10:08My dad.
10:09Yeah.
10:10Okay, I get it.
10:11I'll go, but I just...
10:12These bicycle shorts are really tight.
10:14I'm on.
10:15Work through it.
10:16Okay.
10:16Okay.
10:18Okay.
10:20It's all on you, Jess.
10:27Come on in, honey.
10:29The water's fine.
10:31Jess, you know I don't dance.
10:32Oh, but you didn't know that I did this.
10:36I'm mime-walking.
10:37I'm my uncle Jackson.
10:39I'm gonna get a drink.
10:40Me too.
10:41Wait, no.
10:41Jess, relax.
10:42This is good.
10:43I may actually have a chance and it's all because of you.
10:46So thank you.
10:47No, Nick.
10:47That wasn't my intention.
10:48Nick.
10:49Oh, hi.
10:50I don't feel like dancing right now.
10:52I'm sorry.
10:58I'm really uncomfortable right now.
11:01Oh, Winston.
11:02Thank God.
11:02Nick got away.
11:03Nick can wait.
11:04Nick, this?
11:06This is about Anna.
11:11And it looks like we have dance on it.
11:19What?
11:21Oh, my God.
11:22What are you doing?
11:22What are you doing?
11:22What are you doing?
11:27Nick?
11:30Nick?
11:34The Chocolate Fountain reminds me of the one in Tuscany.
11:37You ever been?
11:38Yeah, I was just there for New Year's.
11:41Where's the Chocolate Fountain?
11:42I don't know, I've never been.
11:43I'm just fascinated with the culture.
11:45Schmidt!
11:47Schmidt, I needed to help me get these off so I could go find Nick!
11:50God, are you friends with that girl?
11:53Schmidt!
11:55Okay, look, I don't want to have to tell you this, but...
11:59She was a mistake I made when I hit rock bottom.
12:02It was like I was her Sid and she was my Nancy and then I got sober and she couldn't
12:05deal with it and the poor thing just went...
12:07She went crazy.
12:08Ben, I need you to come help me slap my thighs around!
12:11Look, I don't want to scare you, but she can be really dangerous when she drinks, okay?
12:15I shouldn't even be in the same room with her, it's just...
12:18It feels so good talking to you.
12:20Maybe we should get you out of here.
12:22What a great idea, yes!
12:24I just have to go to the bathroom really quickly.
12:26Whatever you need, whatever...
12:28Of course.
12:29Ready, no lives.
12:31Name one, name one.
12:32Do, uh, wind tunnel.
12:34Super high driver's license.
12:38Can we stand here all night?
12:44Oh, hi!
12:47Schmidt is very fond of you.
12:49Um, look, I don't, I, uh, I don't even really know him that well, okay?
12:53Oh, I'm just cutting off my underwear, you know.
12:56Girl stuff.
12:58Ah!
12:59Ah!
13:01Ah!
13:03Ah!
13:04Ah!
13:04Ah!
13:06Ah!
13:07Ah!
13:10Ah!
13:21Ah!
13:25Ah!
13:26Ah!
13:27Ah!
13:29Ah!
13:29Ah!
13:47Ah!
13:47I, ah!
13:52Ah!
13:53Ah!
13:55Ah!
13:56a knife? No, I was talking
13:58you up. No, no, no, you shouldn't have been talking
14:00me up. You should have been taking care
14:02of Nick. Why is it so hard
14:04to do one thing? How is this my fault?
14:06Ruiner.
14:09Did you just call me a
14:10ruiner? Yeah.
14:12Okay, you know what?
14:14Forget it. I'm not helping you guys anymore.
14:16Give me my teeth back. Stop it.
14:18You don't appreciate them. Cool it.
14:21Keep them back.
14:23I'm gonna have fun.
14:24Because there's nothing wrong with who I am.
14:26And I like having fun at weddings.
14:28And I like dancing. And if you
14:30don't like that, then tough tater
14:32touch, Tudor.
14:34Just as bad.
14:41Uh.
14:42You're going home with me, aren't you?
14:46Mmm.
14:49Good boy.
15:02Where's Caroline?
15:03That's me.
15:05Four years.
15:07Four years ago, so...
15:09It doesn't matter to me.
15:11It's just what matters is
15:12respect.
15:14I'm just so alone right now, man.
15:17And it's a real bad situation.
15:19That's Stephen Brie.
15:20Stephen Brie.
15:20Because that's what this is about.
15:22I agree with you.
15:23Good is your job, babe.
15:25I'm so happy for you, too.
15:27You look great.
15:29It feels a little bit like
15:30you're rubbing it in my face,
15:31your little happiness.
15:32But let's be honest, Brie,
15:33this doesn't look great on you.
15:34This.
15:36That's not a great look, Brie!
15:38Congratulations, Steve.
15:39Nice fedora.
15:40And no open bar, Steve.
15:43Don't you understand?
15:43That's tacky.
15:45Your dad's rich.
15:47You're a lawyer, man.
15:50Yeah!
15:52That happened!
15:58The photo booth is a lawyer, FYI.
16:01Oh, hey, ladies.
16:02You guys want to see a grown man cry?
16:04No?
16:05Then get out!
16:06I think I saw a single doctor
16:08looking at you.
16:09This is going to take a while, Orange.
16:25Hey, can I tell you something
16:28you promised to never tell Schmidt?
16:31I love bubbles.
16:33I don't know why,
16:34I just always have.
16:37You see that?
16:38I was like two on one.
16:43Are you okay?
16:44Yeah, I'm fine.
16:45Those guys were jerks.
16:48But I know they're glad you're around.
16:51Really?
16:51Yeah!
16:53They're not just going to come out
16:54and say it, though.
16:55Especially Nick.
16:56But they're all thinking it.
16:58Even me.
17:00Most of the time.
17:04It was weird
17:06when I was stuck in a freak sandwich
17:08between you and that eight-year-old.
17:10Do you want to talk about that?
17:13You know,
17:13it's just that he got to be
17:14a bit annoying,
17:15so
17:16I kind of took my feelings out
17:18with dance.
17:21Okay,
17:22so, uh,
17:22we have a situation.
17:25You want me to leave the booth,
17:26you clowns,
17:26but I'm not going to leave,
17:27so...
17:28Hey, Nick.
17:28It's mine now.
17:29How you doing, buddy?
17:30They want me to leave the booth,
17:32but I'm staying.
17:33This is my home now.
17:34It's got everything that I need.
17:35You can see,
17:37by looking at these pictures
17:38that he's experiencing,
17:39a variety of different emotions.
17:41This one is...
17:42Well, that's actually his butt.
17:43He just keeps saying Jess.
17:45Jess!
17:46The fact is,
17:47is I was a mean person,
17:49and I'm sorry.
17:50Okay?
17:55Hi, Nicholas.
17:57Hey, Jess.
17:57I live in a photo booth now.
17:59Oh, is that so?
18:00Yep.
18:01Come on in.
18:02Come on in.
18:02That's the kitchen area.
18:04Very nice.
18:04This is the common area.
18:05Okay.
18:06Dining room, living room,
18:07kind of everything.
18:08That's very nice.
18:10Hey.
18:13She has a boyfriend.
18:14Yeah.
18:14She shouldn't have been flirting
18:15with you all night.
18:17You can't be her backup plan.
18:20You have to let each other go.
18:22So now,
18:23you have to make a decision.
18:26Am I going to stay locked
18:27in a photo booth
18:28for the next hour?
18:29Or am I going to get out there,
18:32take my shoes off,
18:34and dance my face off?
18:38Come on.
18:39It's up to you.
18:45Oh, man.
18:48All right.
18:51I love you, photo booth.
19:02Yeah, look at him.
19:06He looks better.
19:07I can't do this anymore.
19:10I have to let you go, Caroline,
19:12for real.
19:13It has to be over.
19:21Goodbye.
19:22Good luck and everything.
19:28Goodbye.
19:31All right.
19:32Um, I've got to, uh...
19:34Excuse me.
19:46Come on, Jess.
19:48What?
19:48Just please,
19:49just come with me right now.
20:18It looks like so much fun.
20:23Oh, my God.
20:24Anytime you want to,
20:25you can tell me you want to.
20:29Anything you want to,
20:32anytime at all.
20:35When I kiss your lips,
20:39ooh, I start to shiver.
20:42Can't control the quivering
20:46inside.
20:49Wouldn't you agree?
20:52Baby, you and me
20:54gotta breathe.
20:56Check out my bass.
20:58Stop copying my bass.
21:09Gretchen,
21:11you think that, like,
21:12hooking up at all these weddings,
21:13or maybe one of these times
21:14we could go on an actual date?
21:16No.
21:18I'm just using you for your body.
21:21Oh.
21:22Okay.
21:23Cool.
21:25How many more of these things?
21:26We're just getting started.
21:30The yellow helmet is...
21:32Ugh.
21:33Tonight,
21:33I'm gonna get certified
21:34on the River Schmidt.
21:36right. That's
21:36right. Have a
21:37good night. Yeah.
21:40. It's
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