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00:00:00.
00:00:11Tonight, I try a classic Jaguar on our track.
00:00:15Hammond has a blast in Mazda's new MX-5.
00:00:19And James says, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
00:00:23Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:00:25Thank you, everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you.
00:00:36Hello, good evening.
00:00:39Thanks, everyone.
00:00:40Now, a couple of years ago, Jaguar gave us the F-Type convertible,
00:00:45and now there's the F-Type coupe.
00:00:48You can have it with a choice of two V6 engines,
00:00:51or, for £85,000, a thumping great V8.
00:00:55So, guess which one I've been driving.
00:01:13Beautiful, isn't it?
00:01:15Beautiful enough to cause dribbling.
00:01:25And aggressive as well.
00:01:28Snarly.
00:01:30Angry.
00:01:36And unlike the soft top F-Type,
00:01:38it comes with a boot into which you can put many things.
00:01:42All you could get in the boot of a convertible is a peaked cap.
00:01:47But in here, there's room for every conceivable type of hat,
00:01:51all at the same time.
00:01:52A boater, a fez, a pith helmet, a trilby,
00:01:55one of James' special hats.
00:01:57And there's still room left over for a Busby.
00:02:01Oh, there you go.
00:02:03There you go.
00:02:08And the good news keeps on coming.
00:02:12Because Jaguar has fiddled around with a supercharged V8,
00:02:15so it now produces 542 horsepower.
00:02:20That is 54 more than you get in the convertible,
00:02:33which means this has a top speed of a million.
00:02:36It is outrageously fast.
00:02:40I mean, that is 160 miles an hour.
00:02:45And I've got 17 hats in the boot.
00:02:51But even more impressive than the speed
00:02:54is the way this car is made.
00:02:56They haven't simply bolted on a roof.
00:03:00The whole side is new.
00:03:02And this is it.
00:03:03It's one piece of aluminium
00:03:05and it only weighs three and a bit kilograms.
00:03:09And because it's one piece,
00:03:11there's more strength, more safety and less flex.
00:03:16And less flex means better handling.
00:03:20I thought the convertible was good, but this...
00:03:36This is even better.
00:03:39It's actually got tougher springs than the convertible.
00:03:43This doesn't do much for the ride,
00:03:45but, God, it makes it fun to drive out here.
00:03:50It is like driving around in some poetry.
00:04:00Ted Hughes poetry, but poetry nevertheless.
00:04:06This actually has an electronic differential,
00:04:09which can overheat if you go too mad,
00:04:12but the way you stay within the parameters
00:04:15of reasonable common sense,
00:04:17it's fabulous.
00:04:21I just don't know of another car quite like this.
00:04:28Well, that's half throttle.
00:04:32Yes, you're good!
00:04:33So, it's pretty, and violent, and fast, and more practical than you might imagine.
00:04:47Inevitably, however, there are a few niggles.
00:04:50Number one.
00:04:51At oblique junctions, it's really hard to see if anything is coming.
00:04:56So, pull up here at the edge of our runway.
00:05:00And...
00:05:01Look!
00:05:03The only way I can pull out safely is by crossing my fingers
00:05:07and hoping for the best.
00:05:08Ah!
00:05:13Stupid idiot!
00:05:17There are other issues, too.
00:05:20If you push the seat all the way back, and if you're tall, you'll want to,
00:05:23the leather squeaks on the bulkhead.
00:05:26Can you hear that?
00:05:29Really irritating.
00:05:34And then there's the control system, which is touch screen.
00:05:37Now, that sounds fine, but it's so bumpy in here, at low speeds particularly,
00:05:42that it's very difficult to get your finger to go in the right place.
00:05:46If you're not very careful,
00:05:48when you try to change the radio station,
00:05:50you can end up altering the colour of the interior lighting,
00:05:53or engaging mad mode on the dynamic driving system.
00:05:59I want it!
00:06:05But the biggest problem with this car is that it never stops shouting.
00:06:10You can push this button here to quieten the exhaust system,
00:06:16but every time you go near the throttle, it all bursts back into life again.
00:06:24This car is a little bit like a child that can play the violin.
00:06:27For five minutes, it's fine.
00:06:30But after a month, you might start to suggest that if it doesn't stop,
00:06:34you will shove the sound box right up its eye.
00:06:40It's fine.
00:06:44Peace and quiet?
00:06:46That's not something this car can ever do.
00:06:53Happily, however, there's another new Jaguar which is a bit less...
00:06:58...louty.
00:06:59A few years ago, we tested this, the Eagle Speedster.
00:07:09And now the company that created it has come up with something else.
00:07:14It's called the Low Drag GT, and it's a recreation of a one-off racing e-type prototype that Jaguar made in 1960.
00:07:28Except recreation is the wrong word, because what Eagle has actually done is taken the basic design and the spirit of the original, and then brought them up to date.
00:07:47Think of it, then, as a Georgian house with Wi-Fi, and perhaps one of those Georgian Clooney coffee machines.
00:07:59Let's start with the engine.
00:08:06Like the original, it's a twin cam straight six, but unlike the original, it has fuel injection rather than carburetors.
00:08:14So it works.
00:08:15It's made from aluminium rather than cast iron, so it's light.
00:08:21It also has cooling, so it doesn't overheat.
00:08:26And it's bigger than the original.
00:08:29Which means it's more powerful.
00:08:36The original car had 3.8 litres and produced 265 horsepower.
00:08:42This has 4.7 litres and produces 345 horsepower.
00:08:51So it's faster.
00:08:53Much faster.
00:08:55To give you an idea of what a rocket ship this car is, I'm going to have a drag race with Toyota's idea of a modern-day sports car.
00:09:07The GT86.
00:09:08Right, so, a child of the 60s versus the 21st century.
00:09:17Hmm, hmm, hmm.
00:09:23Three, two, one, go!
00:09:29It's a smoking start, and we are away!
00:09:34That's incredible!
00:09:36Janis Joplin is punching Justin Bieber in the face.
00:09:40...in the face.
00:09:43And there's the finishing line.
00:09:46Yeah, it's an easy victory.
00:09:51I've always said things were better in my day, apart from the rickets...
00:09:55...and the dip theory, and this proves it.
00:09:59It's even pretty good in the corners.
00:10:07Ho-ho!
00:10:11Ho-ho!
00:10:15I'm not going to say this feels modern, because it doesn't.
00:10:19Ho-ho!
00:10:22The F-type would run rings round it.
00:10:25But, crucially, it doesn't feel as old as me, which is what it is.
00:10:32But it's not the handling, or the power, or the 170-mile-an-hour top speed that impresses most.
00:10:44It's the attention to detail.
00:10:46I mean, because this car has a five-speed gearbox rather than the four-speeder you got in the original, Eagle has even made a special gear knob to reflect that with a five on it.
00:11:00I'd have just used Tipex.
00:11:03And look at these sun visors.
00:11:06They're fabulous, and somebody had to make them.
00:11:08And the bracket, and the bolts that hold it together, and the hinge.
00:11:15That's just...
00:11:17It's all just too incredible for words.
00:11:20And there's more.
00:11:23The wheels.
00:11:25They look like they're made out of steel, and they came from a motorist discount store, but actually they were specially made by hand out of magnesium.
00:11:33And because the body is Eagle's own design, this windscreen had to be specially made.
00:11:40Now, that meant going to a glass maker and saying, can you make one windscreen?
00:11:46One.
00:11:48It cost £15,000.
00:11:51And the back window?
00:11:53That was £15,000 as well.
00:11:56As a result of all this, the low-drag GT is quite a lot more expensive than the F-Type.
00:12:04And it's less nimble.
00:12:06And it's more slow.
00:12:08But I know which I'd rather have.
00:12:10The tragedy is that the only people who know how to make a windscreen like this, a one-off, are all now in their 70s and 80s, and when they retire, they will take their skills with them.
00:12:38Which means that in the very near future, it just won't be possible to make a car like this.
00:12:44No, I know. And that'll be a real shame. It really will.
00:12:47One thing I've been trying to work out, because you didn't actually say it in the film, if that windscreen costs £15,000, how much is it for the whole car?
00:12:56A lot.
00:12:58How much a lot?
00:13:00£840,000.
00:13:02But that does include VAT. I should be clear on that.
00:13:04Nevertheless, you'll have to agree, the F-Type does represent better value for money.
00:13:09It does, especially the V6, which is the one I'd buy.
00:13:13Because the V8, I mean, as I said in the film, it just never shuts up. It would drive you mad.
00:13:18Yeah, it would. Something never shuts up, shouting, constantly, all day long, rah, rah, with opinions and noise.
00:13:27Well, I'm just saying, I'm going to let it even drive you mad.
00:13:31I can be quiet.
00:13:32Yeah, but only when you're asleep, and thankfully I'm not there for that, so...
00:13:36Listen, I have just decided that I don't want to talk to you anymore.
00:13:43But what I do want to do is find out how fast that F-Type goes around our track, and then, of course, Mian's handing it over to our tame racing driver.
00:13:51Some say that he wishes there was someone he could talk to about his mis-sold PPI.
00:14:00And that he's spent all week making a stair lift for Madonna.
00:14:06All we know is, he's called the Stig!
00:14:08And he's off. An unsmoky start, which is a surprise, but very shouty, which isn't.
00:14:17Up to the first corner, lots of squealing from the Pirelli tyres, but he's keeping it all in check nicely.
00:14:24That is neat.
00:14:25Not a cloud in the sky, got the sun in my eyes.
00:14:32An appropriate slice of the Carpenters there on this crisp, dry day.
00:14:37Very together through Chicago.
00:14:39Let's see if there are any tail-happy antics around the Hammerhead.
00:14:43Into the second part, no. Nothing so far.
00:14:48No, that is incredibly neat again.
00:14:50Now, a chance to unleash noisy Supercharged Fury through the follow-through.
00:15:03Right on the edge there.
00:15:05That won't raise the pulse of either of the Stig's hearts.
00:15:10Hard on the optional Carbon Ceramic brakes with a second to last corner to Gambon.
00:15:15And across the line!
00:15:20What did it do?
00:15:25121.6, which is faster than an Audi R8 V10.
00:15:30And a Cayman GTS.
00:15:32And what are you doing?
00:15:33I'm being quiet.
00:15:35What?
00:15:37I'm being quiet.
00:15:38I'm letting you know what it's like to sleep with me.
00:15:41Oh!
00:15:44Oh!
00:15:45And now, the news.
00:15:47And a couple of weeks ago, we reported that Ferrari were warming to the idea of a test to see which is the fastest.
00:15:53The Ferrari, the Ferrari, the McLaren P1, or the Porsche 918.
00:15:58And the good news is, Ferrari have warmed.
00:16:02They have indeed. There are a few stipulations.
00:16:03They've said that the test must happen on neutral ground, which is fine. It's what McLaren wanted as well.
00:16:09They've also said it must be a factory-prepared car, which was a sticking point with McLaren, but McLaren are now saying, that's okay, that's fine.
00:16:15And that means, ladies and gentlemen, this, I think the most important test this century is now going to happen.
00:16:23Yeah.
00:16:25Oh, that's good, mate.
00:16:28I'm telling you, honestly, we should go and sort out Ukraine, because after this, it'll be a walk in the park.
00:16:35So, when are we going to do it?
00:16:36What, sort out Ukraine?
00:16:37No.
00:16:39Well, as soon as Porsche can find us a car.
00:16:42Find us a car?
00:16:43Mm.
00:16:44Well, they made 918.
00:16:45I know.
00:16:46Well, they've obviously lost them.
00:16:47Have they?
00:16:48Well, yes, they're now saying, well, we haven't actually got one at the moment, but as soon as we do have one, we'll let you have it, and then we can go ahead and actually see which of those three incredible cars is the fastest.
00:16:57I cannot wait.
00:16:58I really cannot wait.
00:16:59Looking forward to that.
00:17:00So, that is good news.
00:17:02Now, not such good news.
00:17:04You may have heard in the news last week that Top Gear was attacked by Labour's transport spokesman, a Mr. Doug Hur.
00:17:10He says that Top Gear is not representative of the motoring public in Britain.
00:17:16No!
00:17:17I know.
00:17:18We're not representative.
00:17:19I know, because only this series.
00:17:21We have, if you think about it, we've raced a hovercraft across St. Petersburg.
00:17:26How representative is it?
00:17:27Very.
00:17:28Very.
00:17:29We've turned a Porsche into an ambulance, we've driven a Bentley up the side of an iron ore mine.
00:17:33Exactly.
00:17:34In Australia.
00:17:35Exactly.
00:17:36Did he not enjoy these features?
00:17:37Difficult to say, because he says he doesn't watch Top Gear.
00:17:41Hang on.
00:17:42How does he know if we're representative or not if he doesn't watch it?
00:17:46It's a good question.
00:17:47He may have special powers.
00:17:48Okay.
00:17:49He could be a witch.
00:17:50The Tories aren't much better, are they?
00:17:53Nice balancing work.
00:17:54Good work.
00:17:56This is just the BBC Evan playing field.
00:17:59The Tory transport bloke, he said that he didn't support the idea of an 80 mile an hour speed limit on the motorway,
00:18:04because of the road casualties on one road in his constituents, which is the Derbyshire Dales.
00:18:09Yeah.
00:18:10Which doesn't have any motorways in it.
00:18:12It is.
00:18:13That's because he's not a witch.
00:18:15He's an idiot.
00:18:16Oh, right.
00:18:17That's it.
00:18:18That's the difference.
00:18:19The annoying thing is, though, that actually, if you look behind the anti-Top Gear prejudice,
00:18:24Doug Hur, he's actually talking a deal of sense, because he says that when they're deciding on transport policy,
00:18:30every government, Labour and Tory, they talk to anti-car lobby.
00:18:34The, you know, the cyclists and the ramblers and the bus drivers and so on and so forth.
00:18:38Yeah, and he's right.
00:18:39He is right, which is ridiculous.
00:18:40He also says that all the people who make the decisions are in central London and have no idea what it's like for people trying to get around in the region.
00:18:47And he's right on that.
00:18:48I know.
00:18:49And the tragedy is, we're telling him he's right and he's not watching because he's tuned into the midwife thing on the other side.
00:18:54Yeah.
00:18:55On my side.
00:18:56Which, incidentally, is not representative of midwifery.
00:19:00Have you watched it?
00:19:02No, never.
00:19:03I'm a witch as well.
00:19:05I know these things.
00:19:06Me.
00:19:07Oh, now, you may remember a little while back, we made some ambulances, okay?
00:19:11And James turned up to make his ambulance out of a Cosworth-powered hearse.
00:19:15Yes, do you remember that?
00:19:16Yes.
00:19:17Well, somebody else, it turns out, is also using a Cosworth-powered hearse as a hearse.
00:19:21Got a picture?
00:19:24The same thing happened to you.
00:19:25It's a design fault.
00:19:26I could have warned them.
00:19:27Yes, exactly.
00:19:28I have news.
00:19:29What news?
00:19:30Vauxhall has a new car.
00:19:31No.
00:19:32Wow.
00:19:33Yes.
00:19:34And here it is.
00:19:35Whoa!
00:19:36Yes!
00:19:37They have called it, the Viva.
00:19:39Viva?
00:19:40They've brought the name out, yeah, Viva.
00:19:41Does anybody remember the original Viva?
00:19:43Oh, yeah.
00:19:44Yeah, yeah.
00:19:45Anyone, you're probably too young.
00:19:47Let me remind you, okay?
00:19:48There's a picture of it here, the original one.
00:19:50Oh, God.
00:19:51Look at it.
00:19:52Look at this silly little wheel.
00:19:53Look at it.
00:19:54A style-free car.
00:19:55It is ridiculous.
00:19:56Interestingly, though, if they were going to revive a name from Vauxhall's heritage and
00:20:00all that, why would they choose Viva?
00:20:01Oh, no, because they had some great names.
00:20:03Like Cresta.
00:20:04Yeah.
00:20:05Victor.
00:20:06Vicaroy.
00:20:07They did a car called the Prince Albert.
00:20:09No.
00:20:10No, it was the Prince Henry.
00:20:12No, it was Prince Albert.
00:20:14No, Prince Albert, that's a, it's a ring they put through your chap.
00:20:17What, Vauxhall put it through your chap?
00:20:19No, no.
00:20:20People who, I don't know why, but they do, it's a ring they put through their chap.
00:20:25I thought it was a rod.
00:20:27Whatever it was, it's not a Vauxhall.
00:20:30That's, it wasn't a Vauxhall.
00:20:32Right, that's cleared that up.
00:20:33There was no Vauxhall Prince Albert.
00:20:36Oh, now, it's the Geneva Motor Show is currently on, actually, which is an opportunity for all
00:20:42the car makers to demonstrate new concepts, all of which have ridiculously large wheels
00:20:48that will never see the light of day in production.
00:20:50Got some of them here for you.
00:20:52We have the, uh, the Infiniti Q60.
00:20:54Look at the wheels on that.
00:20:55That's never gonna happen in real life.
00:20:57No.
00:20:58Nissan Sway.
00:20:59Again.
00:21:00No.
00:21:01No.
00:21:02I mean, the idea is, of course, we look at that and go, wow, that's fantastic.
00:21:05Then, of course, the accountants step into the mix and the accountants say, you can't
00:21:08have 46-inch rims, and you end up with a car that actually looks like this.
00:21:13There is.
00:21:14Supercar news from Geneva.
00:21:17A couple I want to talk about, there's this.
00:21:19It's called the EXP10 Speed 6.
00:21:22Oh, so EXP1 against speed.
00:21:25Well, we just talked to you, you know, it's like football resort.
00:21:27EXP10 Speed 6.
00:21:29Yeah.
00:21:30Yeah.
00:21:31That's actually well-spotted.
00:21:32Two-seater sports coupe.
00:21:34And they say, and I'm quoting now, that it is, um, let's try and get the quote right,
00:21:38unmistakably a Bentley, but if you look at it from the side, I think you'll agree that
00:21:44is unmistakably an Aston Martin.
00:21:47Oh, it is.
00:21:48Yes, it's an Aston Martin.
00:21:49Exactly.
00:21:50It is.
00:21:51Well, meanwhile, actually, the real Aston Martin have come up with this, which is an 800 horsepower,
00:21:56it's a track day car, but they called it the Vulcan.
00:21:59The Vulcan?
00:22:00The Vulcan.
00:22:01So it only takes off from RAF Waddington, and then it refuels in the Ascension Islands,
00:22:06and then carries on past-
00:22:08Um.
00:22:09Yes.
00:22:10I don't think they'd leave that.
00:22:12Have you seen this?
00:22:14It's a Fiat 500, yes.
00:22:16It's a limited edition thing they're doing, but what puzzles me is they've chosen to put
00:22:20an image of the original 500 on the side of it.
00:22:23That's the-
00:22:24That's just idiotic, because that's like saying, look how fat I've become.
00:22:27Oh, yeah.
00:22:28You don't see Eamon Holmes sunbathing with a diagram on his belly of what he used to look
00:22:32like as a teammate.
00:22:33For me, I used to be only this thin, and now I'm enormous.
00:22:37Which is what they've done.
00:22:38I don't know what that's for.
00:22:39Uh, oh, now, big news.
00:22:42There's a car called the Suzuki Celery.
00:22:44Uh, isn't it the Celeriac?
00:22:46Whatever, you don't want one.
00:22:47We've got a picture of it here.
00:22:48Now, there's a British-
00:22:49No, I don't want one.
00:22:50No, it's hideous.
00:22:51British Motoring Magazine were testing one of these the other day, and they had total brake
00:22:55failure, so Suzuki sent them another one to test.
00:22:57Exactly the same thing happened.
00:22:59The pedal went to the floor both times.
00:23:01Nasty.
00:23:02Very nasty.
00:23:03So, Suzuki took it away to work out what was wrong, and they discovered that there's a
00:23:06safety system on that, so that in the event of a crash, the brake pedal is pulled away
00:23:10from your foot, so it doesn't bounce up and damage your shin.
00:23:13Oh, yeah.
00:23:14But, if you were braking very hard, it would assume you were going to crash, and then pull
00:23:19the brake pedal away from you.
00:23:21In, in that yawning instant, I mean, we've all been there at some point, when you think
00:23:24you're going to have a crash.
00:23:25Mm.
00:23:26They take away the only thing in the world that actually is of any consequence or important,
00:23:31the only thing you understand.
00:23:32Yes.
00:23:33Exactly.
00:23:34Suzuki admit that was a mistake.
00:23:35Well, it was.
00:23:36I mean, it was a mistake.
00:23:37They do admit that was a mistake, and all credit to them.
00:23:39Very quickly, in just ten days, they've, uh, they've got them all sorted out.
00:23:43Uh, they did a recall, effectively, and, um, they've said, I love this, they've said,
00:23:49sales won't be affected.
00:23:51What?
00:23:52Um, uh, really?
00:23:53No, they say, most of our target audience is more mature.
00:23:58The public understand that recalls happen, and they'll see through the stories.
00:24:03Yeah, just to translate that, what they're actually saying is, most of our target audience
00:24:08is old and daft and won't notice.
00:24:11Now, let's move on, and it is time now to talk about the Mazda MX-5.
00:24:18When this, the original model, came out 25 years ago, it immediately saved the small roadster
00:24:26from extinction and went on to become the most successful two-seater sports car of all time.
00:24:32But now there's a new MX-5, and I went to Humberside to drive it.
00:24:37Before I do that, though, time for a quick refresher with the original.
00:24:47The reason this car was so brilliant is that it's light, it's small, and it's simple.
00:24:58Mazda were perfectly open about cribbing all the best bits from 60s MGs and Lotus Elans, and leaving out all the worst bits.
00:25:07The recipe wasn't complicated. Small engine at the front, rear-wheel drive, and a perfect 50-50 weight distribution.
00:25:17They were so obsessed with that last point, they even moved the battery to the boot.
00:25:24There isn't a lot on this car, but everything that is, is done well.
00:25:28The gear change. Short, snappy throws from gear to gear, and a little click as it goes in.
00:25:3525 years on, and this is still in the top five all-time great gear changes.
00:25:42If there is such a thing.
00:25:44God, these things were good. Which means the brand new MX-5 has got a lot to live up to. A hell of a lot.
00:25:59Well, here it is. And on paper, the signs are good.
00:26:05It's still usefully small. It's still got an engine at the front, and drive to the rear.
00:26:11And since prices start at around £19,000, it's still more affordable than most sports cars.
00:26:26Another encouraging sign is that they've resisted the temptation to give it a bigger engine.
00:26:32The biggest you can get is 2 litres, and the one I'm in is 1.5.
00:26:36That means 0 to 60 in just under nine seconds. About the same as the original.
00:26:44And a top speed of 125. Which is absolutely fine.
00:26:50In fact, it's good news. An MX-5 shouldn't be a snorting monster of a thing.
00:26:56It's a car for driving into the countryside on a nice sunny day to find a nice pub for lunch.
00:27:01And it's great! Squeezing every last drop out of this little 1.5-litre engine.
00:27:08Use all the engine's got, and come on!
00:27:15Whip the pony a bit.
00:27:18Then, there's the handling.
00:27:20The front suspension is still double wishbones. The weight distribution is still balanced perfectly.
00:27:2750-50, front to rear.
00:27:32Immediately, you can just sense everything is in the right place.
00:27:37The relationship between where it all sits in the car is correct.
00:27:41This car isn't about wrestling a monster through turns, and being relieved when you survive.
00:27:48I'm not trying to win a fight.
00:27:51It's human being and machine working together.
00:27:55That, the way it changes direction there, to an end.
00:27:59It feels so nimble.
00:28:02The reason the new MX-5 is so nimble is because, whilst most cars get fatter with every new generation, this one is almost 100 kilos lighter than the car it replaces.
00:28:22100 kilograms. That's, well, it's nearly an entire Jeremy Clarkson.
00:28:29That's a significant weight saving.
00:28:32Mazda has achieved this feat by employing something called the Gram Strategy.
00:28:39Now, this is not to be confused with the business plan from Scarface.
00:28:43What it means in Mazda-land is shaving off a gram here and there.
00:28:48For instance, in any car, there's bits of the glass that you can't see hidden inside the body, hidden inside the doors.
00:28:57The glass is heavy, so Mazda have made holes, taken out pieces of that glass.
00:29:03And if you just shave off a gram here and there, those grams add up to become kilograms.
00:29:09But despite the minimalism, you don't feel like you're sitting in a prison cell.
00:29:14It's a nice place to be. I've got, well, everything I need.
00:29:18Touch screens, sat-nav interfaces with my telephone, all of that stuff.
00:29:22It's a car.
00:29:24So far then, all is well.
00:29:27But before I get too carried away, there are a couple of not-so-good things about this new MX-5.
00:29:33The first problem is not really the car's fault at all, but I should mention it.
00:29:40It's the image of the MX-5.
00:29:43Put it this way, if your business is called a cut above, fringe benefits or hair apparent, that's long been the choice of car for you.
00:29:52But if you run a magazine called belt-fed machine gun enthusiast, you probably want to look elsewhere.
00:29:56The second problem is the looks. I can see what they've done, they've given a cute little car a frown.
00:30:04It's the whole angry puppy thing.
00:30:06But I'm just not quite sure yet.
00:30:09But you know what? These are tiny ripples in what is otherwise an ocean of brilliance.
00:30:21God, I love this thing. It's brilliant.
00:30:26It's pure fun.
00:30:28It's made of fun.
00:30:33Listen to that.
00:30:35I know when I get back to the studio, Jeremy's going to be standing there pointing at an Alfa Romeo 4C, saying this is the lightweight car to have.
00:30:44But it's 50 grand, and they make a fuss about it being light. This is just simple.
00:30:56I love this. I'm just made up with this.
00:31:04I said so in the film.
00:31:16But look, the fact is, you could buy two MX-5s, no, two and a half, for the price of one Alfa.
00:31:22Yes, but the Alfa Romeo is lighter.
00:31:24How do you know? Every time we ask Alfa how much it weighs, they send us a different number.
00:31:28Because they're not troubled with specific details like that. If you build a car that's as much fun as this with a carbon fibre tub chassis, you take it for a drive, you don't weigh it.
00:31:40When Leonardo da Vinci painted the Mona Lisa, we didn't say, well, how much that weighs?
00:31:45No, it's not. The whole point of the Alfa, we're told, is its lack of weight. That's why they tell us it feels a bit flimsy and a bit brittle and it hasn't got power steering because it's so light.
00:31:54But then they won't tell us how light it actually is.
00:31:57Because they're too busy having fun. Mazda made that and then they went, I wonder how many horsepower it produces and put it on a whirling road and let's weigh it.
00:32:04Why don't they just make the figures up? That's what the Italians always do. They do.
00:32:08Right, once Alfa finally give us the convertible version of this, let's get it together with the Mazda and we'll sort out which is best.
00:32:14Good idea, but now we must put a star in our reasonably priced car. Now, my guest tonight came to fame as a boy.
00:32:23And then he was a sort of blue monster and then he was a zombie. All of which means I don't know what he looks like in real life.
00:32:30So, ladies and gentlemen, somewhere over there is Nicholas Holtz.
00:32:37You. It's you. It is you. How are you?
00:32:42Very well, very well, very well. That's actually you. This is it.
00:32:48Your ears, your nose, excellent. Have a seat. Yes, yes, yes. Thank you.
00:32:51Lucas, I think you very rarely see you as you. Yeah, I have a habit of wearing a lot of makeup. In films. Not in real life.
00:33:01Generally. I mean, to remind you, this was you in About a Boy, obviously, when you were...
00:33:08Sweets is the word I'm looking for. Thank you. And then you were blue. Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:33:13Again, hard to recognise you now from... Is this a good thing? Does the anonymity...
00:33:18Well, I did sneak around. I did get off on the streets in that costume a little bit.
00:33:23I ran across a golf course. At one point, I went hooning it.
00:33:27Three people were playing. I went running across this golf course.
00:33:29And they turned and saw that coming and they were like,
00:33:32Oh, Lord, it's happening.
00:33:35Finally. And I pulled off and I said, remember to swing through the ball.
00:33:38Keep your eye on the back of the ball at all times. And then I turned around and ran off again.
00:33:41And you could see them just so confused. Was that while you were actually filming?
00:33:44Or is that something you keep at home for fun?
00:33:46Well, I've got the feet from that at home.
00:33:48Have you?
00:33:49Yeah. Well, actually, no, I haven't. My mum kept them because she likes to wear them as slippers.
00:33:55Now, you've been, even from when you were a boy-boy, you've been a petrol head since you were that young.
00:34:00I have, yeah. I grew up watching this show.
00:34:02So you were watching this when you were in About a Boy?
00:34:05Yeah.
00:34:06That makes me feel about a thousand.
00:34:08Because it's weird, I haven't changed, I mean, you've changed a lot, but I'm exactly the same now as I was when we first started.
00:34:15So you must have been thrilled, I mean, if you were a car enthusiast from a young age, to have been offered a part in the new Mad Max movie, I presume.
00:34:22Yeah.
00:34:23Which is, as we know from the early ones, I don't know, a lot of cars.
00:34:26Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:34:27That was supposed to be in Australia, and that's rubbish.
00:34:29Yeah, because I love the original films, and then it's the weirdest thing, you'd be there on set, and they'd have these armadas of all these vehicles that are specially made for the shoot.
00:34:38All these V8s, V12s, all roaring, and you'd be sitting there in your car, and flames of all these other cars would go flying past you guys on bikes, and you'd just get chills.
00:34:46But the only problem with it is you can't hear anything, because the engines are all so loud.
00:34:51You'd sit there, and then you'd see the camera kind of come into your periphery, and then you'd hear a bang on the roof, and that was maybe someone saying their lines.
00:34:59You were just kind of guessing when to act, essentially, and just hoping for the best, not knowing exactly where you were in the film.
00:35:05We've actually got a clip.
00:35:06Oh, okay.
00:35:07We'd like to have a look. Let's have a look at the new Mad Max movie.
00:35:09My name is Max.
00:35:25Oh, what a day! What a lovely day!
00:35:35That does look like my kind of film. I mean, all our kinds of films. We would, yeah, no, I'll be killing it up for that one.
00:35:37But the car has survived. The Mad Max, the...
00:35:41That does look like my kind of film. I mean, all our kinds of films. We would, yeah, no, I'll be killing it up for that one.
00:35:59But the car has survived. The Mad Max, the... It's a full...
00:36:05Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's still there. It gets adapted a little bit in this one.
00:36:07This was amazing. Like, the attention to detail in all of these, like, my car, they had four versions of it, because they had to flip and roll and do all sorts of stuff.
00:36:14But each one had, like, my character's name, Nux, like, engraved into the brake pedal and all these sorts of things.
00:36:19Like, when you got in there, everything worked and had a reason to be there, and they'd really thought about everything.
00:36:25So there's no CGI in this, then? It really is roll a car over...
00:36:28Yeah, they were really going for it, yeah.
00:36:30Well, I mean, that just sounds like my idea of heaven.
00:36:32Like, it was... Yeah, you think it's your idea of heaven, until they're crashing trucks into the back of you.
00:36:37And you're sitting there, you do the first take, and you're like, yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it, do it faster, cool, go for it.
00:36:41And then the next time you turn around mid-scene, you look over your shoulder, and there's this truck just flying at you,
00:36:46and you're like, poof, getting thrown around the side, just running away.
00:36:49You are quite accident-prone on films, are you not?
00:36:52Because when you're on X-Men, because you've got Fassbender, haven't you, on...
00:36:55Yeah, yeah, Fassbender.
00:36:56Because he told some amazing stories of what you've got, racing golf buggies, when he was...
00:36:59Oh, the golf buggies, yeah, him and James crashed the golf buggy and caused quite a lot of damage to themselves and one of the cars and stuff.
00:37:05Yeah, they did, he did mention that. You didn't get involved in the golf buggy racing.
00:37:08We do, we do a bit of... Well, they took him away after that, we do a little bit of golf buggy racing.
00:37:12Um, so then, then, then our next one, on the last film, we got, um, me and James went and bought BB guns.
00:37:17Um, and we'd shoot each other, so you'd be riding to set in the morning, you'd put your goggles on, load your clip,
00:37:22you'd get out of the car, and then before you knew it, there were three people, like, chasing you to the trailer, and...
00:37:26Shooting you?
00:37:27Yeah, but then we had to stop that, because people get, got, got shot in the face.
00:37:30And didn't bleed.
00:37:32I was gonna say, it would leave an ugly mark.
00:37:34Yeah, it would, like, welt or bleed, so we, we got told we weren't allowed to do that anymore either, so...
00:37:38I don't know what we're gonna do on the next one.
00:37:40Is that why you've now taken up knitting?
00:37:43Yeah.
00:37:44Oh, the knitting, yeah, that was kind of...
00:37:46Well, I was, uh, on, on my max, there was a lot of hanging around, so...
00:37:49One of the makeup artists was knitting one day, and I was like, well, that seems like a good way to kill time.
00:37:53So I'd sit there, sit there knitting, and then getting really frustrated with myself when I'd mess up,
00:37:58and, like, storming around the set, being like, oh, can someone fix one?
00:38:02Nick.
00:38:03Please.
00:38:04And then the fix, I'm like, thank you, and then I'll go back off to my corner and sit there.
00:38:08I, I started, like, taking orders from other people.
00:38:11Um, and then two of the girls on Mad Max, two of the girls on Mad Max asked for hats, and I was like, okay.
00:38:17I had one day off, and I was like, I've got to make these hats.
00:38:19So I knitted straight, I knitted straight for ten hours that day, without really stopping, and then I quit.
00:38:25I haven't knitted since, because this is too much.
00:38:27I was gonna say, have you heard of Call of Duty?
00:38:29That's brilliant, telling time, I kill weeks with Call of Duty.
00:38:32Yeah.
00:38:33Knitting, well, there we are.
00:38:34Now, it's good to get onto your cars, because we've established you like a car,
00:38:37and you've driven many different, you've driven a Merchilago as well, haven't you?
00:38:39Oh, I did, yeah.
00:38:40I got to drive one of those in Singapore, I was shooting a film in Singapore last year.
00:38:43That's a beast, it was probably Lambo beast days.
00:38:45Yeah, it shifted.
00:38:46But your first car wasn't any of those things?
00:38:49It was similar, it was a Fiat Grande Pinto.
00:38:52Pinto?
00:38:53Yeah.
00:38:54It's a mean car.
00:38:551.4 litres of mayhem, it was good, I enjoyed it.
00:38:571.4?
00:38:58Yeah.
00:38:59Well, that's a beast.
00:39:00And then, presumably, in a Fiat Pinto, police interruptions in your driving?
00:39:06Yeah, yeah, one in the Pinto.
00:39:07I've never got a speeding ticket on anything, not on my bike, nothing, apart from in the Pinto.
00:39:12And the max speed on that thing is 103, and I think I was doing under that, I'm pretty sure.
00:39:19And then suddenly I saw the blue lights and I was like, oh no.
00:39:22Pulled over, and he was like, I've been chasing you for a while now, and I had to do 120, maybe 130 to catch up with you.
00:39:27Like, so you were definitely doing faster than that.
00:39:29And I was like, well, the logic is off.
00:39:32Well, you said he was doing 130 to catch you up, so you must have been doing more than that.
00:39:36Yeah, and I was like, well, this doesn't make any sense.
00:39:38Of course you were going faster than me, you were chasing me, so.
00:39:41Did you say you had a bike?
00:39:42Yeah.
00:39:43Yeah, a Ducati 899.
00:39:45Oh, damn.
00:39:46Bikes.
00:39:47Anyone interested in bikes?
00:39:48Yeah.
00:39:49Oh, God.
00:39:50Um, do you ride it?
00:39:53Yeah, ride it around.
00:39:54It's lovely.
00:39:55Um, is it, what colour is it?
00:39:56It's white.
00:39:57Yeah.
00:39:58Can we stop talking about bikes now?
00:39:59Because I want to talk about his laps.
00:40:00Oh, no.
00:40:01No, no.
00:40:02You know, last week we had Gillian Anderson here.
00:40:03Yeah.
00:40:04And she did set a new record of 22 practice or attempts at the fastest time.
00:40:05Do you know how many you did?
00:40:06Uh, no, I wasn't kidding.
00:40:0724.
00:40:08No.
00:40:09No, but you know, you know, last week we had Gillian Anderson here.
00:40:12Yeah.
00:40:13And she did set a new record of 22 practice or attempts at the fastest time.
00:40:17Yeah, yeah.
00:40:18Do you know how many you did?
00:40:19Uh, no, I wasn't kidding.
00:40:2024.
00:40:21Did I?
00:40:22No, but, you know, there's lots going on, so.
00:40:26But it is, to be, it's an awful thing to say, I know, but it was a beautiful day today.
00:40:32Well, yeah, it looked beautiful.
00:40:33Strong headwinds throughout the whole, uh, so.
00:40:36Not a breath of wind.
00:40:37It's got a crisp, cool, sunny, beautiful, perfect day for a car to go.
00:40:41Yeah, that's what everyone kept on saying.
00:40:43And I was sitting here in the car, and I was here, and I was sweating, and everyone's
00:40:46first thing out of their mouths was, perfect day for it.
00:40:49Yeah.
00:40:50And you're like, come on.
00:40:51Who would like to see Nicholas's lap?
00:40:53Yes!
00:40:54Let us have a look.
00:40:56Oh.
00:41:00Love it.
00:41:01Vigorous.
00:41:02Loves it.
00:41:03Oh, yeah.
00:41:04Unengaged.
00:41:05Idiot driving.
00:41:06Perfect.
00:41:07Well, we shall see.
00:41:09Coming up to the first one.
00:41:11Oh, crunky.
00:41:12Oh, God almighty.
00:41:13That is quick.
00:41:14It looks quick, but I don't know the edge of it is.
00:41:17It does, that does look quick.
00:41:19It felt.
00:41:20Yeah, guys, going up to third.
00:41:21Hang it out.
00:41:22Turn it in.
00:41:26And I have to say, sometimes we say, if you're going slowly, it looks quick, but...
00:41:30I saw Ricardo, like, bouncing up and down.
00:41:33I don't know if that helps for speed.
00:41:37Because normally, when a car is apparently going slowly, it's sometimes quick, but this
00:41:41looks faster than normal, and that's very nicely done.
00:41:47That was a gear change.
00:41:49Strong winds, not visible on screen.
00:41:55Flat through there, obviously.
00:41:58Oh, that is right to the edge.
00:42:01And that's cutting it fine nicely.
00:42:04And now, just two corners left.
00:42:07Coming in on a shallow angle, but no real problems at the second to last.
00:42:12Gambon.
00:42:14Lot of understeer there, but across the line.
00:42:23What do you think, then?
00:42:27Where do you think you've come on the board?
00:42:32I, I, I, I mean, obviously, for X-Men Bragging Rights, I'd like to be somewhere around Hugh Jackman, but that's really high up.
00:42:39Where's Hugh?
00:42:41He's 146-1.
00:42:43I don't, I, yeah, I'd like to be in the late 140s somewhere.
00:42:47Late 140s, well, that's how Luke.
00:42:49I don't know.
00:42:51Nicholas Holt. You did it in one?
00:42:53No.
00:42:55Forty.
00:42:56Okay, that's all right.
00:43:02Four.
00:43:04Oh, that's well.
00:43:05Told you it looked quick.
00:43:06Seven.
00:43:10Oh!
00:43:12Oh!
00:43:14Oh!
00:43:16Ten thoughts.
00:43:18Ten thoughts.
00:43:20But there...
00:43:24Come on!
00:43:26Come on!
00:43:28That is a take...
00:43:30Olly Merz is like...
00:43:32But sounds good.
00:43:33That is a...
00:43:35I mean, it looked quick.
00:43:37It looked quick.
00:43:39It's really difficult to get a lap where everything goes right.
00:43:41No, that is...
00:43:42That's a time to be proud of.
00:43:441.44.7.
00:43:45Thank you so much for coming.
00:43:47Absolute pleasure to have you here.
00:43:48Ladies and gentlemen, Nicholas Holt!
00:43:49Thank you so much.
00:43:50Thank you so much.
00:43:51Thank you so much.
00:43:52Thank you so much.
00:43:57Now, a few series ago, the three of us tried our hand at Amateur Rallycross.
00:44:03And we decided that, pound for pound, it is the most exciting sport in the world.
00:44:07And because we enjoyed the amateur event so much, the logical next step was for one of us to take it to a professional level.
00:44:17Clearly, there was only one steely-eyed helmsman to take on this challenging job.
00:44:23Him.
00:44:24When we did our amateur rally crossing, we raced here, at Lyddon Hill in Kent.
00:44:39And our cars were plucked from the pages of the classifieds for just a few quid.
00:44:46Well, the venue is the same. This is where the event will be taking place tomorrow.
00:44:50The car, though, that's a bit of a step up.
00:44:55It starts out as a VW Polo, but then becomes this.
00:45:01A two-litre turbocharged tornado with 600 horsepower and more torque than a Ferrari 458.
00:45:08And to keep the drivers on their toes, helping hands such as traction control, ABS and electronic differentials are banned.
00:45:23Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, that's not a racing car.
00:45:25It's merely a vehicle providing Top Gear viewers with hilarious captain slow cock-ups.
00:45:31But no, I might actually be okay at this.
00:45:36For starters, the circuits are small and easy to learn.
00:45:40The cars do have four-wheel drive.
00:45:42And then there's the calibre of the drivers.
00:45:45One of them is the son of the bloke who owns this track.
00:45:48And another is just a presenter on American Top Gear.
00:45:52And it's the Top Gear chap, Tanner Faust, who has kindly offered to train me for this event.
00:45:58Is it really 600 horsepower or is that bar torque?
00:46:02It's a full-on six.
00:46:04It's 300 horsepower per litre.
00:46:07Zero to 100 kilometres in 1.9 seconds.
00:46:10It's quicker than a Formula One car off the line.
00:46:12Wow.
00:46:14Then the other things about it, you know, you've got all-wheel drive.
00:46:16It's amazingly stable.
00:46:18You'll see a jump and it just completely absorbs them.
00:46:22It's like marshmallow.
00:46:24It's mostly carbon fibre, Kevlar underneath.
00:46:25There's a lot of contact.
00:46:26I think it's the only sport in the FIA where there's not a rule saying you can't hit other cars.
00:46:31So you can hit other cars?
00:46:32It happens, yeah.
00:46:34Tanner then pointed out the most important thing on the dashboard.
00:46:38This switch here, this is the monster switch right here.
00:46:42This is the one that is the ALS for the anti-lag system.
00:46:46This is for the turbochargers?
00:46:47Yeah.
00:46:48Once you flip that switch, all hell breaks loose.
00:46:52Now every time you lift off the throttle, it's shooting flame through the turbo.
00:46:55Keeping it spinning over 200,000 RPM.
00:46:58Mm.
00:46:59And it's a very violent thing and that's really what makes this car work.
00:47:04Okay.
00:47:05Once you cross the finish line, you flip that off and then it's a normal car again.
00:47:09Remember that?
00:47:11It's really weird talking to someone who is a Top Gear presenter but who is really helpful.
00:47:15Usually it's sarcasm and stupidity.
00:47:17Or teammates.
00:47:18Something informative, helpful, encouraging.
00:47:21It's quite nice.
00:47:24Tanner then offered to take me for a demonstration run.
00:47:29I did mean to tell you actually, I fell off a horse quite recently.
00:47:33Okay.
00:47:34It's still a bit sore so try not to, you know, snap me in half or anything like that.
00:47:38Okay.
00:47:44Hold the brakes and then lets it all off, will it?
00:47:46Come on, will it?
00:47:48Holy s**t!
00:47:49Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:47:51Ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:47:52Ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:47:53Ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:47:55Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:47:56Ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:47:57Ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:47:58Ow, ow, ow, ow!
00:48:1645 seconds later, my spin in the rallycross tumbledryer came to a merciful end.
00:48:22merciful end. And then, it was my turn to drive.
00:48:29Pull throttle, and release the clutch a little.
00:48:37Faster, faster, faster, faster.
00:48:38For the next few hours, my new friend from American Top Gear gave me some excellent tuition.
00:48:48Second gear, second gear, brake.
00:48:50No, no way.
00:48:52Brake, brake, brake, brake.
00:48:54That way, that way.
00:48:59Sorry about that, by the way.
00:49:00No harm, no foul.
00:49:02He then took the time to explain the considerable complexities of the racing.
00:49:08So there's 12 cars, and then there's five heats.
00:49:12But there's four laps in each heat.
00:49:14You won't just drive once, and you go twice.
00:49:16Like, maybe two or three times.
00:49:18So it's 50 points for the guy in first.
00:49:2045, and then 40.
00:49:22Then there's two semifinals.
00:49:25Tana said that no matter how I did in the heat, I'd be in one of the semifinals.
00:49:30Then he explained the joker lap.
00:49:32But in every one of these, you do the joker lap once.
00:49:36Which is the long outside, outside of turn one.
00:49:40With a bit of a jump on the way in there.
00:49:42OK, so I have to take the joker lap once per race.
00:49:45Exactly.
00:49:46Here's the thing with the jokers, at least three seconds slower.
00:49:49Ideally, you would take the joker lap sometime if you're behind somebody, and you need to get free track.
00:49:54And what if you forget?
00:49:56That's why the spotter is critical.
00:49:58What's a spotter?
00:49:59So, on top of this building, there'll be one spotter per car that'll be on the radio, in your headset,
00:50:06and they'll be able to talk to you while you're driving.
00:50:09When to take the joker, who's behind you, what position you're in,
00:50:12give you information that you need while you're on the track.
00:50:15It's quite a responsible job, the spotter, then.
00:50:17Yeah, they have to pay attention.
00:50:18Yeah.
00:50:19I think I've...
00:50:20Can you just go through that again for me, to make sure I've got it?
00:50:2212 cars total.
00:50:23We're all here to race five times, four laps each.
00:50:2530-second penalty if you take the joker more than once.
00:50:32The next morning, as all the other teams prepared for racing,
00:50:35I was in Tanner's garage getting to know a bit more about my car.
00:50:41Look at the size of this.
00:50:43That's not a standard air filter, obviously.
00:50:46None of that is standard.
00:50:47This isn't standard.
00:50:48Mate.
00:50:49Morning.
00:50:50Morning.
00:50:51Morning.
00:50:52What are you doing here?
00:50:54Well, we're told you need spotters, apparently.
00:50:56We are your spotter.
00:50:57No, no, no, no.
00:50:58No.
00:50:59Spotting is a genuinely important job.
00:51:01You have to say who's in front of you, who's behind you.
00:51:04Well, nobody behind you.
00:51:05Funny.
00:51:06When to do the joker lap.
00:51:07Do you know about the joker lap?
00:51:08Is there a jump?
00:51:09There's a jump.
00:51:10I want to tell you when to do that.
00:51:11Yeah, so when do I do it?
00:51:12Now.
00:51:13Which lap do I do the joker lap on?
00:51:14Well, exactly.
00:51:15How many laps are there?
00:51:16Four.
00:51:17Can I just...
00:51:18I got out of bed this morning at 5.15 to be here.
00:51:20He stayed in a Ramada Inn last night with Lenny Henry,
00:51:23and this is how ungrateful he is.
00:51:25Seriously, I've done a minimal amount of practice yesterday,
00:51:28and I don't want two Muppets helping me.
00:51:30I'm sorry to be rude, but no.
00:51:32James, James, your door's not shut properly.
00:51:34Good spot, good spot, Hammond.
00:51:37Since I seem to be stuck with Pinky and Perky,
00:51:40we went to watch some of the other drivers in the first race.
00:51:45They all start off close together, don't they?
00:51:47You could crash by there.
00:51:49Yeah.
00:51:50This'll be you.
00:52:12Yesterday, with Tanner, I thought maybe a podium was a possibility,
00:52:16but now I was watching the real racing...
00:52:19I decided to aim a bit lower.
00:52:22I think maybe a better personal ambition would be not to be lapped.
00:52:27Does that happen a lot in this?
00:52:28I don't think it's ever happened.
00:52:29You can't be lapped in Rallycross, it's only four laps.
00:52:36So, in four laps, if they're doing a 50-second lap,
00:52:39you're more than 12 seconds a lap slower than them.
00:52:43You're in the Guinness Book of Records
00:52:45as the first person ever to be lapped in Rallycross.
00:52:51On that sobering thought, James lined up for his first heat,
00:52:55which featured drivers of a higher calibre than he'd been expecting.
00:52:59Peter Solberg is an extremely good former world champion rally driver
00:53:05and a world champion at this.
00:53:07Yes.
00:53:08Timmy Hansen, he's 22.
00:53:10He was third in European Rallycross last year.
00:53:14And James May.
00:53:15James May, 52-year-old piano player.
00:53:18Interested in ladies.
00:53:19As the drivers prepared for the off,
00:53:23we were testing the comms.
00:53:28Put him in the mood.
00:53:29Yeah, yeah, I'd say.
00:53:34Turn the radio down, you're blowing my ears out.
00:53:37Ouch!
00:53:39Guys, why did I agree to this?
00:53:41I've got Peter Solberg next to me and a load of drivel in my ears.
00:53:44Oh, this is unbelievably exciting.
00:53:49Is he going?
00:53:50Oh my God.
00:53:51He's going, he's going, everybody.
00:53:53Let's start!
00:53:57Let's start it, let's start it!
00:53:59Let's start it, James, let's start it!
00:54:04Quite muddy there, James, it is quite muddy.
00:54:07Shut up!
00:54:09James, James, so that you know the car behind you is French.
00:54:17That was good spotting then, Jeremy.
00:54:18Shut up, you two!
00:54:20Whilst James bumbled around at the back,
00:54:23the other four drivers were giving us a sensational show.
00:54:26Sensational, sir.
00:54:48Whoa, big accident!
00:54:50But how can we still be going?
00:54:56As the others entered their fourth and final lap,
00:55:04James was being caught.
00:55:09Oh, my God!
00:55:11The French!
00:55:13Shut up!
00:55:15Hang your arse out, James. Hang your arse out.
00:55:17A seagull, James. I've spotted a seagull.
00:55:20Shut up!
00:55:21Inside line, inside line.
00:55:23Amazingly, though, he got away with it.
00:55:28Yes, you haven't been lapped.
00:55:31Ha-ha!
00:55:33I wasn't lapped!
00:55:35I'd like to see those other two Muppets do that!
00:55:37I hope we weren't distracting to him.
00:55:39No, I shouldn't think so, because he knows we're there.
00:55:41It was reassuring noises.
00:55:43It's like racing in the car, women.
00:55:44It's like we're all three in the car, all three on the steering wheels.
00:55:47As the winner of the heat, Petter Solberg, celebrated,
00:55:51we went to check on James' times.
00:55:54He was 32 seconds off Petter Solberg's drive.
00:55:58Yeah.
00:55:59Eight seconds a lap slower.
00:56:01Right.
00:56:02Should we give him a strong team talk?
00:56:04Or should we support him?
00:56:05He just needs to learn to drive faster.
00:56:07Faster than the other people.
00:56:08Yeah.
00:56:09Well, faster than himself would help.
00:56:10I was determined to do better in the next heat.
00:56:20But my spotters were even more useless than in the first one.
00:56:24What time have you got to go tonight?
00:56:26Er, why doesn't we beat the traffic?
00:56:28Which foot of the M4 do you go down?
00:56:31Er, I'll put jump to 15.
00:56:33That is near the M5, isn't it?
00:56:34No, no, 17 isn't.
00:56:36It's Bristol.
00:56:37Shut up, you two!
00:56:42Now for the joke, Pet.
00:56:45There's definitely 17, this gentleman.
00:56:47I can't believe you don't know, you do know.
00:56:49Yeah, but I don't go to 17, I get a 50 for that old...
00:56:54Ah!
00:56:56No thanks to my colleagues,
00:56:57I managed to finish another four-lap heat without being lapped.
00:57:02Ho-ho! Come on!
00:57:03Come on!
00:57:05Fantastic!
00:57:07But then it was time for the semi-final,
00:57:10and I realised I had a bigger problem.
00:57:14The semi-final is six laps,
00:57:16so it's half as long again.
00:57:18And I've worked out, my good laps, of which I've done maybe two,
00:57:21were sort of four seconds off the pace,
00:57:23but quite a few of my slightly cocked-up ones
00:57:25were sort of eight to nine seconds off.
00:57:26So in a six-lap race...
00:57:28Six-lap race...
00:57:30Yeah.
00:57:31Eight seconds, that's 48 seconds,
00:57:33and it's a 50... it's a 50-second lap.
00:57:36It could be very, very close.
00:57:38This will be quite close.
00:57:39This is the test.
00:57:41With this terrifying maths playing on my mind,
00:57:45I took my place on the grid.
00:57:47It's proud, James. Do it proud.
00:57:49Don't let us down.
00:57:51Right, here we go.
00:57:53Semi-final six laps.
00:57:55So if you'd like to place your vets...
00:58:02I decided to get my joker out of the way on lap one.
00:58:07Which, obviously, my eagle-eyed spotters noticed.
00:58:14James, you were 11 seconds slower than the lead car on that lap.
00:58:19But wait, did he do the joker?
00:58:21Oh, he might have done.
00:58:25Up front, Tanner was fighting for the lead,
00:58:29and the racing was intense.
00:58:30Meanwhile, a bit further back,
00:58:39I was managing to stay out of danger.
00:58:44Oh, I've had to say,
00:58:45keep the power, keep the inside light!
00:58:51That's not bad, that's genuinely not bad.
00:59:00When James still had two laps to go,
00:59:03we realised he was about to be stabbed in the back
00:59:06by his new best friend.
00:59:11That is Tanner.
00:59:12Is that Tanner on his tail?
00:59:13James, it's actually Tanner behind you.
00:59:29James, do not let American top gear
00:59:32last British top gear.
00:59:36I'm getting that wrong!
00:59:38Come on!
00:59:42When he's right up behind you, James,
00:59:43make your car wide!
00:59:45Make it as wide as I don't know what!
00:59:50It's right there!
00:59:53On the inside!
00:59:54Stay on the inside!
00:59:55Go on the inside!
00:59:56Inside!
01:00:01Oh, James, he's gonna...
01:00:02Oh, James, he's gonna...
01:00:16Wrap it!
01:00:19Let's gloat it in there.
01:00:20Studio, yeah.
01:00:21Studio, back to the...
01:00:22Back to the studio.
01:00:23We'll gloat it in there.
01:00:24Yeah.
01:00:25Because I want to get home, frankly.
01:00:26I don't want to be around here.
01:00:28So, he'll go here.
01:00:29Yeah.
01:00:30First person ever to be wrapped in Rallycross.
01:00:33Well, it's a name in print.
01:00:34Yeah, exactly.
01:00:36Anyway,
01:00:38we have to say, even with him in it,
01:00:40Rallycross is brilliant.
01:00:42It is fabulous to watch,
01:00:43because, basically,
01:00:44from the start line to the finish line,
01:00:46all the drivers drive as fast as they can.
01:00:48Yes, that's it.
01:00:49There's no conserving their tyres,
01:00:51there's no looking after the fuel consumption,
01:00:53there are no stewards with moustaches going,
01:00:55oh, now,
01:00:56you've bumped into him,
01:00:57you've got to spend ten seconds on the naughty step.
01:01:00I'll tell you what Formula One is.
01:01:01Formula One is like having some money
01:01:02and putting it in an ISA
01:01:04so that it matures in a tax-free way.
01:01:07Rallycross is like having some money
01:01:09and going to the pub with it.
01:01:10Yeah, just blow it on one big night.
01:01:12Exactly.
01:01:13All at once.
01:01:14Can I just say...
01:01:15No, you'll just make yourself look more ridiculous.
01:01:16Yeah, you will, he's right.
01:01:17And on that bombshell,
01:01:18it is time to end.
01:01:19Thank you so much for watching.
01:01:20Goodnight.
01:01:26Original British drama
01:01:27and forging a new life
01:01:28in the face of hostile forces,
01:01:30Poldark begins now over on BBC One.
01:01:32And here on BBC Two next,
01:01:34winner takes all.
01:01:35It's game on for the final
01:01:36of Let's Play Darts for Comic Relief.
01:01:39And there's comedy over on BBC Three next tonight.
01:01:42Russell Howard brings good news.
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