- 6 days ago
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00:01On the Dukes of Hazzard.
00:03He ain't dead.
00:04He sure ain't.
00:05And he is in Hazzard County.
00:07He sure is.
00:08You see what I see?
00:09Abraham Lincoln Hall.
00:11Jefferson Davis Hall.
00:13My own twin brother.
00:14Something here is just about a half a bubble off Plum.
00:19If I know your brother, long about now, he's probably pretending to be you.
00:24See ya friends, children!
00:34Just a good old boy.
00:38Never meaning no harm.
00:42Beats all you never saw.
00:44Been in trouble with the law since the day they was born.
00:49Straightening the curves.
00:52Flatening the hills.
00:56Someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will.
01:01Making their way, the only way they know how.
01:09That's just a little bit more than the law will allow.
01:14Just a good old boy.
01:17Wouldn't change if they could.
01:21Fighting the system like a two modern day Robin Hood.
01:33There's nothing Luke Duke enjoys more than a peaceful drive on a quiet country morning.
01:38Away from the Hazzard County hustle and bustle.
01:40And here come the hustle.
01:49I got him. I got him. I got him.
02:14I got him.
02:14Roscoe, have you lost your mind?
02:16I saw you putting up that fake hospital zone sign.
02:18Now, you seem to forget there ain't a hospital within 50 miles of here.
02:22Now, if y'all are wondering where old Bo is, well, he's off for the weekend with the Marine Coil
02:26Reserve.
02:33They do got some kind of bumps on them Hazzard County roads.
02:47You Yankee drivers, that's a violation of 763.
03:08You say you were chasing only one of them Duke boys, and still you lost them?
03:12Well, yeah, yes, but it wasn't exactly my fault, boss.
03:15I mean, my only deputy, it was his day off, you see.
03:18And it's very hard to surround a Duke when there's only one of you to do it.
03:22Yeah, especially when that one of you has got yourself such an itty-bitty little bean.
03:26Right.
03:27Yeah.
03:27Well, I ain't gonna let your stupidity spoil and ruin what's gonna be the greatest day of my life.
03:34I thought the greatest day of your life was when you and your wife, Lulu, moved into separate bedrooms.
03:39It was.
03:40Well, this'll be the second greatest.
03:43Ooh, you just, ooh, you just...
03:46Boss, what are you looking for?
03:48I'm looking for the right forms to fill out.
03:50To get my hands on the last will and testament of my late Great Aunt Emma Lou Hall.
03:55Ooh.
03:55Before that thing is filed for probate.
03:58Well, what are you worried about, boss?
04:00I mean, you and your long-lost brother Abe were the sole survivors, weren't you?
04:04We are.
04:05And you had him declared legally dead, didn't you?
04:08I did.
04:08And it was legal, too.
04:11Kinda nobody seen hide or hair him for all these years, have they?
04:13No, I didn't.
04:14Is there?
04:15Oh, that's why.
04:16Only I ain't so sure Great Aunt Emma Lou was convinced of that.
04:19So I have to protect myself by seeing that will before they have the public grief.
04:25Oh, here it is.
04:26I found it.
04:28Now, you get out of here while I have my lunch.
04:31Here you go, girls.
04:34Hey, Luke.
04:35I sure hope you ain't thirsty because boss just cut off your credit and I ain't got another
04:39down to lend you.
04:40I ain't here to borrow.
04:41I'm here to settle up for both me and Bo, including what we owe you.
04:44At least as soon as I get changed for this $50 check.
04:46Well, bye-bye.
04:47Hey, where are you going?
04:48I am going to Mr. Sellers to get that dress I want so bad because I know you're gonna pay
04:52me back lease-wise as soon as boss cashes that check for you, honey.
04:55A check?
04:56A check?
04:57You got a check?
04:59Well, tell me, just how, when, from whom did a loafer like you get hold of a check?
05:04Well, boss, some city slicker broke down outside of town.
05:07I did a little shade-three mechanic work.
05:09He gave you $50 for it.
05:11Oh, let me see that thing.
05:13I paid the order of Luke Duke, $50, signed by Benjamin Thompson.
05:22You seen that, Roscoe?
05:24Yeah.
05:24Today sure is my lucky day.
05:26Lucky day.
05:27Well, how's that?
05:28Just because I'm paying off a $14 bar bill?
05:30Ah!
05:31It's because you just tried to pay us off a bum check.
05:35Hold on a second, boss.
05:37How do you know that's a bum check?
05:38How do I know?
05:38Because it's signed by Benjamin Thompson.
05:40Otherwise known as Benny the Queer.
05:44Good, good.
05:44We can walk pay for half a hazard county with the phony checks he's bombed off.
05:48You trying to tell me this feller snookered me into fixing his car for nothing?
05:51No.
05:52What we're trying to tell you is that you have been snookered into committing a felony,
05:55which means you violated your probation.
05:57And which means you, boy, are going straight to the slammer.
06:00You're straight to it.
06:01Take him away, Roscoe.
06:03Boss, I got a better idea.
06:04What?
06:04I'm going to get Flash to escort him personally.
06:07Good, good, good, Roscoe.
06:08All right, Flash.
06:11Do your duty.
06:14All right.
06:16Get him!
06:18Get him!
06:19Not me, you stupid mongrel!
06:20Him, him, Luke Duke!
06:23Roscoe, muscle that mound, will you?
06:25And take Luke Duke and lock him up in the pookie.
06:27And then get back on the job patrolling my hospital soon.
06:36All righty.
06:38Hold it right there.
06:39I got you this time.
06:41Oh, Roscoe Coltrane, you just get out of my way.
06:44I'm on my way to Mr. Sillis to get something I want before somebody else gets it.
06:47Well, you should have thought of that before you come zipping through my brand-new hospital zone.
06:51It says 15 miles per hour.
06:53Now, you can read that.
06:54I can read that.
06:55And anybody can read that.
06:57Oh!
06:58There's a boss!
07:00Hey!
07:00Good news!
07:01Good news!
07:02This is Catch the Duke's Day.
07:04Daisy's the second one I caught today.
07:08Boss, what did you do?
07:09You painted your car black here, and you got a new black suit.
07:12Never mind his suit and his car, Roscoe.
07:14There's a phony hospital sign, and it's against the law.
07:17Phony sign?
07:19Yeah.
07:19Is that a fact?
07:21Yeah.
07:22Sheriff, if there indeed be no hospital in the immediate vicinity, it appears you're using unfair chicanery to achieve nefarious
07:32ends.
07:33Right!
07:34Yeah, well, if that means playing dirty fool, that's just far for the course, ain't it, Roscoe?
07:38Anything is fair in love and war, especially with the Dukes.
07:42Ain't that right, Flash?
07:44Well, he's just acting a little casual now, but he'd better agree if he knows which side his dog biscuits
07:50is buttered on.
07:51Hey, boss, Flash and I, we're going to escort Daisy personally down to herself.
07:56Sheriff, you really ought to relinquish her from custody.
08:01Oh, I'm going to do that, too.
08:02I'm just going to relinquish you.
08:05Relinquish?
08:06Boss, that means let her go.
08:08Mm-hmm.
08:08Yeah!
08:11Are you feeling okay?
08:13I feel fine.
08:15Roscoe, don't you ask silly questions.
08:16Boss, thank you so much.
08:21That's all right, honey.
08:25Bless you.
08:27Boss, boss, you know what you just did?
08:29You just blessed a duke.
08:31And I bless you, too, when you take down that unauthorized and deceitful sign.
08:37When you're on patrol, Flash, you've got to stay ever alert.
08:41You never know when a criminal element is going to take advantage of us now.
08:46All right, let's get out.
08:48All right.
08:49Out!
08:50Oh, gosh, don't come on.
08:52I'll tell you something.
08:53You're going to have to cooperate a little bit more in here.
08:57Oh, you've been eating lead biscuits again, I swear to goodness.
09:01You're going to have to go on a diet if you're going to be quick to be on the police
09:05force.
09:05This, uh, what they got here.
09:10He's sneaking a snooze.
09:13Boy, they sure can change the paint jobs on these cars quick these days.
09:21I wish you'd cooperate a little bit.
09:24I can't carry you around all the time.
09:28Boss?
09:30How in the world did you do that so fast?
09:34This report on Luke Duke?
09:36That's easy.
09:36I filled it all out today and was put on probation.
09:40Except for the exact violation, which I may have denied.
09:44No, that ain't what I'm talking about.
09:46What I want to know is how did you get all whitened up, you and your car, when a half
09:50hour ago Flash and I saw you in a black suit in a black car down there by the speed
09:54trap.
09:55Was it?
09:57Uh, you were in a black suit and, you know, in a black car, ain't that right Flash?
10:02Hey, hey, hey!
10:03Puzzle that hound!
10:05He ain't got no more manners than you here.
10:08Roscoe, I never owned a black suit or black car in my life, which means both you and your mutt
10:13are equally stupid.
10:15Ooh.
10:15Well, it was you.
10:16The man in black definitely had your beady little brown eyes, your nose, and those flabby little jowls.
10:22Roscoe!
10:23Oh, no!
10:27What?
10:28Ooh, Roscoe.
10:30What?
10:30There's only one man in this whole wide world who's as good looking as me.
10:38Ooh.
10:40And that's Abraham Lincoln Hogg, as I live and breathe.
10:46Boss's twin brother, Abe Lincoln Hogg, was as honest as old boss was crooked, the white sheep, and the shame
10:52of the whole Hogg clan.
10:54After all these years away, the very first person I had to come to see in Hazard was my oldest
11:00and dearest friend, Jesse Duke.
11:02Well, I'm glad you did, but you know you scared the socks off of me.
11:06I thought you was a-pushin' up daisies in some foreign country.
11:10This envelope contains the last will and testament of my dearly beloved, late lamented, and sorely missed old great aunt,
11:17Emma Lou,
11:18who passed on to a well-deserved heavenly reward only last week.
11:22Oh.
11:23I want to see what the gabby old biddy left me in advance of the scheduled reading.
11:29Here it is.
11:31Here it is.
11:31And, as for that certain 100-acre tract commonly known as Dear Meadow, I hereby bequeath it to my beloved
11:39Jefferson Davis Hogg,
11:40and beloved Abraham Lincoln Hogg!
11:43I knew it! I knew it! That old heifer, I told her to change it!
11:46Well, uh, Dear Meadow, boss?
11:48Well, isn't that the land that you sold to the Acme Construction Company for that industrial park without your brother's
11:55old key?
11:55Well, how was I to get his old key? I had him declared legally dead five years ago, didn't I?
12:01Yeah, but you did that so you could take over his oil wells that he found in South America.
12:05And then I stumbled into some emerald mines in Venezuela.
12:08Not to mention the lumber mills in Brazil, cattle ranches in Argentina. My goodness!
12:13Profitable enterprises fill out me all over the place.
12:16And I bet you gave away all the profit from them enterprises.
12:20Well, that's what the good book tells us to do, don't it?
12:24Imagine that! Him cheating me his own flesh and blood out of all that all!
12:28Well, isn't that what you're trying to do to him?
12:31Hmm?
12:32Well, he ain't dead.
12:33He sure ain't.
12:34And he is in Hazard County.
12:36He sure is.
12:37And you did sell his half of the land.
12:40I sure did.
12:41That is felonous fraud.
12:42No, I don't want to hear what that all comes to!
12:45What is it?
12:45I just don't want to spend the best years of my life locked up in the same cell block with
12:49that no good two-bit forging Luke Duke!
12:51No.
12:53Oh, did I say forging?
12:57I believe so. I think you said a two-bit crummy felonous Duke.
13:06Roscoe, I think I got away getting Luke Duke to get me off the hook.
13:12Ooh! Ooh!
13:13But good!
13:15Ooh!
13:16All right, what's the catch?
13:17No catch.
13:18Oh, no, no.
13:20I'm just very concerned about the poor folk of this community.
13:23So, like I say, I'm gonna let you out of here and drop all charges if you'll catch that crook
13:28who wrote this here check.
13:29Before he swindles somebody else.
13:31Yeah, like maybe your friends or your family.
13:34Why don't Roscoe go after him? It's your job, ain't it?
13:36Cause I don't know what he looks like and you do, that's why.
13:39So, what are you gonna do?
13:40You gonna stay in the clink and let the whole community go down the drain?
13:44Or you're gonna do your patriotic duty?
13:46And put that swindler in there in your place.
13:51Gentlemen, you got a deal.
14:02That's about the extent of it, Daisy.
14:04Are you sure you wanna come down to the lumber camp with me?
14:06Of course I do.
14:07Well, if it weren't for Benny, I'd have my new dress by now.
14:11But what makes you so sure we're gonna find him at the lumber camp?
14:14Well, the way I see it, his car was headed down this way when he broke down.
14:17Today's payday, ain't it?
14:19Oh, I got it. Lunchtime poker game.
14:21If he wins, he collects the cash and if he loses, he writes one of them rubber checks.
14:25Just one.
14:30Queen, hi! Full boat!
14:32Well, I reckon this is my lucky day, huh, boys?
14:35Yeah, I sure do like doing business with you.
14:38Coming around here on payday is a lot of fun, I'll tell you.
14:41Uh, listen, gents, I gotta go.
14:43I just remember the previous engagement.
14:44There he goes!
15:07Quick sand!
15:08Take it easy, Daisy.
15:09Now, don't thrash around. We'll get you on.
15:14I didn't mean to do it.
15:15I was just trying to gain a little time so I could escape.
15:19Benny, grab my belt and dig in there.
15:22I gotta get a little more reach.
15:24Now, I bet when y'all went to work this morning that you never run into anything like this.
15:32Come on, honey. Come on, Daisy. Come on, baby.
15:35All right, Daisy. Come on, honey. Come on.
15:41Come on. Look up. Come on. Look up.
15:43Give us a hand, guys.
15:45Come on, Daisy. Come on, honey.
15:48Make it easy.
15:50You all right?
15:52You okay?
15:52You sure?
15:53Hey, I hear the bouncy place to charge 50 bucks for my best.
15:58All right.
15:58Yeah, let's do it.
16:05Hey, I see it, Luke.
16:07I can't make amends for getting you jailed.
16:09But how about if I pay you that $50 for fixing my car right now?
16:13Twist my arm.
16:14All right.
16:15I'll just write y'all out a check right now.
16:17What color would you like?
16:18Forget it, Benny. Look, just promise not to try and get away, because we gotta stop and get some clean
16:22clothes, all right?
16:25Flash.
16:26Now, pay attention now.
16:28This is not a fire hydrant.
16:30This is silver.
16:31Oh, bolster.
16:32Look, I do it.
16:33Just what you told me.
16:34I put this phony meter nearest the nearest vehicle.
16:38Not my car, you brain brain.
16:41Here, put it by the next car that comes along.
16:43Oh, yes.
16:44Here you go.
16:48You mean like the Duke car?
16:58Come on, Benny.
17:01Well, here you are, Roscoe.
17:03One repentant sinner, just as I promised.
17:05So you're Benny the Quill.
17:07Now, you don't really have to put him in jail, do you, Roscoe?
17:09I mean, we was talking to him on the way in, and he ain't half bad.
17:13Well, you hush.
17:14I determine who's good and who's bad in Hazard County.
17:18All right.
17:18Come on, Benny.
17:19Come on.
17:20Watch out for the dog.
17:21Come on, Clayton.
17:24Come on.
17:27For he is a vicious...
17:29Hello, Jesse.
17:30Boss.
17:32Boss.
17:37You see what I see?
17:38I see it, but I ain't sure if I believe it.
17:49Now, friends, I think we're just about to confront that old question about which is stronger, heredity or environment.
18:02Well, well.
18:04Abraham Lincoln Hogg.
18:07Jefferson Davis Hogg.
18:10My own twin brother.
18:12They look more like each other than they do themselves.
18:15Well, aside from wearing different suits, how's the person supposed to tell them apart?
18:19Well, you hold up a dollar.
18:21And the one that grabs it is the boss.
18:23And the one that wants to give it away is Abley.
18:25Well, Jesse, I always follow the old rule.
18:29It's better to give than receive.
18:32That only goes for bad advice and chickenpox.
18:35Well, not this time.
18:37Abe, I want you to meet my niece, Daisy.
18:41I think you saw her on the road.
18:43So I did.
18:43And this here's my nephew, Luke.
18:46He's the one we come down to bail out.
18:48How'd he do?
18:49I appreciate the bail offer, but it ain't necessary no more.
18:52Boss let him work his way out.
18:54Yeah.
18:55Took me more than 60 years to do it, Abe.
18:57But I finally beat you to a good deed.
19:01And I bet your greenbacks to gumdrops it'll take you 60 years to do it again, boss.
19:06Well, only because I won't be here.
19:09No, I have to leave Hazard right after the reading of Great Aunt Emmylou's will.
19:14Yeah, well, you're going to have a short stay
19:15because that will's been read in the courthouse at 6 o'clock today.
19:18Oh, that's too bad.
19:20Here we were just getting to know you after boss had you declared legally dead five years ago.
19:25Well, I'm sure that my dear brother had a very good reason for that.
19:30I did?
19:30Oh, I mean, I did.
19:32Of course, now that you're hearing all, boss is just going to have to have you declared legally undead.
19:36Yeah.
19:36We could always issue a new birth certificate.
19:38Well, why not?
19:40I feel just as young as I ever did.
19:43Maybe that's why I take to this pooch so much.
19:46Had one just like him when we was kids.
19:49Oh, don't do that.
19:50Oh, don't.
19:51Yeah, he'll snap.
19:52Oh, he didn't snap, he didn't.
19:54Yeah.
19:57Oh, he licked my hand.
20:01Looks like Roscoe's dog finally learned himself some manners.
20:09That dog's a vicious killer.
20:13Well, Abe, what a little place there's got the boss treed.
20:16Let's go over to my house and fix them corn fritters, I promise.
20:19Oh, fine, Jesse.
20:21But first, I want to drop my car off at the local garage for lubrication.
20:24No problem.
20:25We just run it over to Cooter's and we'll still be home in time for them fritters.
20:28Oh, good.
20:28Come on, you're right.
20:30See you at six o'clock sharp, J.D.
20:33Yeah, see you at six, Abe.
20:36See you at six.
20:38Listen, boys, you're going to be in big trouble.
20:42What's Abe going to do when he finds out you sold out half of his land?
20:46He ain't going to do nothing.
20:48No.
20:48Because he ain't going to be there.
20:50Thanks to you, Luke Duke, and Benny the Quill.
20:56Take him to the holding cell till I'm ready for him.
20:59Right.
20:59All right, come on, come on.
21:00When it comes to wiggling off the hook, old boss has got more moves than a can full of worms.
21:05Well, for someone as famous as Benny the Quill, you sure look like you got all your feathers plucked off.
21:11But you can pluck them right back on again if you ain't got writer's cramp today.
21:17I don't get it.
21:19All right, let me put it this way.
21:20You can either spend five years in this hoose cow or be out in five minutes flat.
21:24What do I got to do?
21:26What comes naturally.
21:28You see this here birthday card with its signature on it?
21:33Here.
21:34Now, you think you can copy that signature onto these official documents?
21:40With my eyes closed.
21:42Now, I want you to sign it the same way.
21:47Abraham Lincoln Hogg.
21:50You got a pen?
21:52What color would you like?
21:54All right, Benny.
21:56All right.
21:56Keep out of trouble now.
22:02You see, he stuck there.
22:04That's a direct violation.
22:05I'm gonna...
22:06I'm gonna...
22:06I'm gonna...
22:07Hold it!
22:07Hold it!
22:08What?
22:08So much for the first part.
22:10Oh.
22:11Now, you take care of the second part.
22:13Oh, yeah.
22:14Assuming you can count that high.
22:15Oh, yeah, I...
22:16I...
22:16All right, go.
22:17Go!
22:17Oh, well, I'm going.
22:20It's just...
22:21Mm!
22:30Cuckoo, don't you do it!
22:38Ooh, what are you doing?
22:39Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
22:44Oh, oh, oh.
23:14Nothing makes a sheriff hotter than some cold water.
23:22S-3-X-4-3-1.
23:25S-3-X-4-3-1.
23:31Now, with a license plate and a driver's license,
23:34well, even old Roscoe could trace that.
23:42You see what I see?
23:43That's Benny the Quill, Liv.
23:45Better go get him.
24:07Now, why do you reckon they parked that there?
24:10Oh, oh, oh.
24:23I don't know what to do!
24:50Hey, Benny, how you doing?
24:53Now, I know what you're thinking, but I didn't escape.
24:55Sheriff Coltrane let me go.
24:57At first, they let me go to come after you, and then...
25:01What do you have to do before they let you go?
25:03Just forge a name on an ID card and some legal-looking paper for Boss Hogg.
25:08Yeah, copied it off an old birthday card he had.
25:10From Abraham Lincoln Hogg.
25:12Now, how'd you guess?
25:15What are we gonna do now, Luke?
25:17Hightail it for home.
25:18I ain't sure what Boss got up his pudgy little sleeve,
25:20but we better let Abe know something's in the wind.
25:23Now, what old Boss had up his sleeve was to promise to pay Cooter some money
25:27and then have him wait in the hall while...
25:30Yeah, Abe, you remember the little tank town, Finchburg, on the other side of the state line?
25:34Now, all he had to do was tell his brother that the Sheriff's Pension Fund in Finchburg was running short.
25:40And Abe was off like a shot with a personal donation.
25:44Bye.
25:47He took the bait.
25:48Oh, I'll tell you something.
25:50When that Finchburg Sheriff catches your twin brother over there in that black vehicle,
25:54he's gonna be a guest to that county for at least six months.
25:58Well, that's better than me being a guest of the feds permanent.
26:01Oh, yeah.
26:01Now, to change that will read in time, I'm gonna call Circuit Judge Druton.
26:05Oh, me, Bill, would you get me Circuit Judge Druton in the state capitol?
26:10Uncle Jesse, it seems clear to me that Abe's signature was forged on that document.
26:15Meaning that Boss must be trying to swindle his brother out of his share of the inheritance.
26:19Well, not if I can help it, he ain't.
26:21I think it's up to us honest folks to see that the innocents like Abe
26:25aren't taken advantage of by the likes of J.D. Hawk.
26:28I don't know what y'all are fretting about.
26:30The reading of the will's not till six o'clock, and Abe will be back by then.
26:34All right, hey, Cooter.
26:36Hey, y'all.
26:36Excuse me for not calling, but I didn't have a dime.
26:39Got bad news now.
26:40J.D. Hawk has somehow arranged to get his brother Abe busted over there in Fitchburg.
26:45Not only that, but he select Judge Druton into coming to Hazard
26:48and doing that inheritance stuff at four o'clock.
26:50Well, that's two hours earlier.
26:52Wouldn't you know it?
26:53And Abe's gotta be halfway to Fitchburg by now.
26:55Well, something else.
26:57Fitchburg's on the other side of that old state line.
26:59And that makes for a probation violation.
27:02Yeah.
27:02Thanks, Cooter.
27:03Yes, sir.
27:04Y'all holler if you need me, okay?
27:06You got time for a bite?
27:07No, sir, I ain't.
27:08Y'all be careful now.
27:08Yeah, much obliged, Cooter.
27:09See y'all later.
27:10Yeah.
27:12Oh, boy.
27:13Fitchburg.
27:15Now, for once, General Lee was in a race that he couldn't win.
27:19By the time he was getting started, Abe was already crossing the finish line.
27:40Well, I see you're surveying your handiwork.
27:42You're under arrest, Mr. Abraham Lincoln Hogg, for malicious mischief, destroying public property, and splattering up my brand new uniform.
27:50My dear sir, I've never even had the pleasure of being in your town before.
27:56In fact, the only reason I'll come was to make a small donation to the sheriff's firm.
28:01Oh, now y'all shouldn't have said that.
28:04Now I got to add attempted bribery of a public official to your other charges.
28:08Get moving.
28:09After you, sir.
28:10Oh, no, sir.
28:11After you, sir.
28:12Oh, yes, yes.
28:16There's Cooter going into the garage.
28:21Me leaving my door open to crack while he was out there in the hall waiting to be paid was
28:25a stroke of pure genius.
28:27A genius?
28:27You're a genius, you little rascal.
28:29By now, he sure would have told Luke Duke how I snookered Abe.
28:33Luke Duke Duke Duke.
28:35And you know something else that's good is that you'll be on the outside looking in at them looking at
28:40you on the outside.
28:41Yeah.
28:42Because to do anything to help Abe, he's going to have to cross the state line.
28:48And when he does, you know who's going to be waiting for him to pick him up for violating his
28:52probation.
28:54Hello, me, Bill.
28:55This is J.D. Hogg.
28:56Say hello from Roscoe.
28:59Give me the sheriff in Finchburg.
29:06Hey, Luke, we just passed the state line.
29:08We've got about ten minutes before we've got to get back or else she'll spend the next ten years.
29:12We're going to have some federal pen, honey.
29:13Not to worry, Daisy.
29:14Ain't nobody going to catch us.
29:32You know, it sure would help if you'd look on the brighter side of things once in a while.
29:36Do you mean like that bright little badge on that fellow in the sheriff's car behind us?
29:57Hey, you're in the orange car.
29:59You better pull over.
30:01Hey, stop before you get hurt.
30:02There's a roadblock over here.
30:04Do you think he's welcome?
30:06If he is, he's doing a dang good job of it.
30:13Our friends and neighbors, the Finchburg sheriff is so poor that the only thing he's got for a roadblock is
30:18an impounded car.
30:19And you ought to do well to drive careful around Finchburg.
30:47Look how he figured the sheriff got a hold of that black convertible.
30:52Well, since we ain't got the cash to go as bail, looks like we're going to have to use a
30:56little Duke Ingenuity.
31:16Uh, hello?
31:19Hi there.
31:19May I help you, miss?
31:20Yeah, I'm there.
31:21Just stay calm!
31:22What are you doing here?
31:24We'll be out of here before you know it, sir.
31:26Just stay calm and let's do what we've got to do.
31:28Whoa!
31:29Daisy!
31:29Come to your senses.
31:31Now, don't you good children try to arrange a jailbreak.
31:34Well, that's despicable.
31:35Better that than let your brother spend the rest of his life in jail.
31:38What?
31:39That's just what's going to happen unless we make it to that will reading.
31:41Oh.
31:42And the will reading's at four o'clock, which means we've got about 20 minutes.
31:4520 minutes?
31:46Yeah.
31:58This is a very nice way to go, I must say.
32:21Now, meanwhile, back in Hazard, old Roscoe was doing all he could to unbalance the scales of justice.
32:27Hear ye, hear ye, hear ye, the circuit court of Hazard County is now in session.
32:33The Honorable Judge Charles Gruden presiding.
32:37All rise.
32:40I do, Judge Gruden.
32:41Judge Gruden.
32:45You, take off that hat.
32:47Oh, yes, yes, sir, Your Honor.
32:49Yeah, no man's got more respect for the law in Hazard County than me.
32:53Hmm.
32:56Ooh, gee, no.
32:57Now, we are gathered here for the reading of the last will and testament of Miss Emmylou Hogg,
33:02dispensing with all the whereases and to which and becausees.
33:05It...
33:06Hmm.
33:07What it says here, she wants to have her property divided equally between her grandnephews,
33:11Jefferson Davis Hogg,
33:13and, uh,
33:15Abraham Lincoln Hogg, who don't appear to be here at the moment.
33:18Uh, unfortunately, Abe can't be with us right away,
33:22and in the meantime, uh, he's asked me to give you this here affidavit of his,
33:27which is self-explanatory.
33:29Hmm.
33:30Well, it says here that, uh,
33:33Abe leaves his share of the estate to his, uh,
33:36beloved twin brother,
33:38Jefferson Davis Hogg.
33:40That's right, and since it's signed by Abe in his own hand,
33:44I reckon that, uh, there's no reason for you not to declare that I,
33:48Jefferson Davis Hogg, am the sole beneficiary.
33:51Good, good, good, good.
33:52Now, just a minute, Your Honor.
33:54Uh,
33:56I don't think it's right for you to be giving away anything that belongs to Abe
33:59without, uh,
34:01without him here to see you give it to him.
34:03Uh, away.
34:04Yep!
34:05Yep!
34:05Yep!
34:06Yep!
34:06Yep!
34:07Yep!
34:07Yep!
34:07Yep!
34:07Yep!
34:07Yep!
34:09Yep!
34:09Yep!
34:12Yep!
34:14It's hard, and the mayor's head, isn't it?
34:17I'd rather go now and falls on the barrel
34:19and take another ride on this road.
34:21That's because his boss's paving company
34:23does all the working hazard.
34:24The only good roads in the county
34:26are the ones that lead to his property.
34:27You know, that's my brother.
34:30Now, darn, you're right, Jesse.
34:31By itself, this document just ain't good enough.
34:34Now, listen, I've got to be in Capital City at 6 o'clock.
34:36I mean, and before Abe don't show up here directly,
34:38I'm gonna have to postpone a reading of this will
34:40for at least two months.
34:42Back up, Leon.
34:43Uh, you don't have to postpone nothing, Your Honor.
34:46I'm sure my brother Abe will be here in just a few seconds.
34:49Oh!
34:50I think I hear him at the front door now.
34:53Oh, Roscoe, let's you and I go greet him.
34:54I didn't hear him.
34:58Oh, gosh, you're scuffing my neck.
35:00All right, hurry now.
35:02Like I told you.
35:03Come on now.
35:05Get them off.
35:07Come on.
35:08Oh, come on.
35:15Come on, come on, come on, come on.
35:20Come on, just wave the pants.
35:21Hey, I'm sorry.
35:23I can't.
35:23Oh, you got it?
35:24Yeah, yeah, yeah.
35:26Now, I'm going to do this.
35:27Let's take it here.
35:28Sure, you're going to do it.
35:29Get it up.
35:30Get it up.
35:30Yeah, that's it.
35:32Oh!
35:33You fingers!
35:34You fingers!
35:35Get out of there, will you?
35:36My coat.
35:37I need my coat.
35:38Or else the next coat I'll be wearing will be prison gray.
35:41Oh, yeah.
35:42That'd be the same.
35:42You're sticking to the effect.
35:43We'll shove the arms in there.
35:45Yeah, where is it?
35:45Right here.
35:46There we go.
35:46I can't find it.
35:48Oh, there we go.
35:49Here, wait your hand, boss.
35:49All right.
35:50Here, listen, put it right here.
35:52Look great.
35:53Go on.
35:53That's it.
35:55That's it.
35:55Get it.
35:58Oh, hey.
36:00Greetings, Your Honor.
36:03Oh, hello, Jesse.
36:05Hello, Abe.
36:07My, that was some trip I just had.
36:12My beloved brother, J.D. Hogg, has just informed me that my presence here is urgently required.
36:21Well, yes, just long enough for you to testify that this is your signature giving up your hand
36:25for the estate.
36:25Oh, well, I certainly will testify to that.
36:30And if Justice weren't so blind, you could read for yourself what he wrote, what I wrote there.
36:38Something here is just about a half a bubble off Plum.
36:49Brady's coon coming at you.
36:52This here's Luke Duke.
36:53Hey, y'all, y'all tell me what kind of deal this is here.
36:56I was just over at the county building, I saw Boss Hogg running to the filing room
37:00with his white suit on, changes into a black suit, quicker than a mineral swimmer nickel dipper,
37:05and then he runs back into the bucket room.
37:07Oh, J.D.'s getting weird, ain't he?
37:09Hey, something else, too, y'all, I know.
37:11I heard old Roscoe calling the state police, and they're planning to lay a little trap for you
37:15coming back across the state line, so take it easy, Greasy.
37:20We got you, Cooter.
37:21We keep our eyes peeled.
37:22Thanks a lot.
37:25Hey, Abe, if I know your brother, long about now, he's probably pretending to be you,
37:29just so he can swindle you out of your share of the inheritance.
37:31Me?
37:32Oh, really?
37:33And considering there ain't another person in Hazzard County that can tell the two of you
37:36apart, he's probably gonna get away with it.
37:38Oh.
37:40Hey, hold on.
37:42I think we can find a witness who might be able to upset this money carton.
37:47Oh.
37:48Hang on.
37:50Now, old Luke's really in trouble.
37:53He violated parole by crossing the state line, and the Fenceburg sheriff is asking the state
37:58troopers for a roadblock.
38:13Up ahead, that's the police.
38:15And your brakes ain't none too good.
38:17There's a dip in the road.
38:18Now, here, hang on.
38:27Now, friends, you gotta hit them dips just right.
38:34You see what I mean?
38:35Sorry I can't stay and help you, sheriff, but I got my orders to catch them.
38:52Well, sir, seeing that you're swearing that this year is your signature on this release
38:59don't seem to be anything I can do but to release the entire property to your brother,
39:04J.D.
39:05Good thinking.
39:06Just a minute now, Judge.
39:09What about the inheritance tax?
39:11Now, we can't turn this property over to J.D. until we know he'll pay the inheritance tax.
39:16Well, of course, my brother will pay the tax, and I'm sure that he would consider it not
39:22only an obligation, but an honor to pay such a paltry pittance.
39:29Your brother wouldn't give the sweat off of his brow to make lemonade for the poor.
39:35Now, Judge, we gotta see this to believe it before we can let J.D. have this property.
39:40Well, you'll see it, all right.
39:41I'll go fetch him right in.
39:50We gotta do it again.
39:52Again?
39:53Yeah, again.
39:53Come on.
39:54No, come on.
39:56Get that other one.
39:57Come on.
39:57Get in the boots.
39:58You got a coin.
39:59Come on.
40:00I'll tell us who David's hog will pay the tax.
40:02I'll pay double the tax.
40:03I'll pay anything to get Jesse Duke out of my sight.
40:09Well, I'll leave, J.D., just as soon as you pony up.
40:14Where's Abe?
40:15Abe?
40:16Abe who?
40:17Oh, Abe.
40:18Abe, my brother.
40:19Oh, yeah.
40:20Well, he left town on business in a hurry.
40:24But I got to have his signature on his paper releasing his part of the estate.
40:28Signature?
40:29Yes, in front of witnesses.
40:31Witnesses?
40:31I'll get you.
40:32Well, I'll go see if I can get you.
40:40You know, I was listening at the door.
40:41How are you going to be yourself and your brother, too?
40:44Roscoe, to keep from going to jail, I could be quintupling at the same time.
40:48Jesse, I'm just about ready to run out of time and patience here.
40:52I'll be right with you, Your Honor, just as soon as I imbibe a glass of water to lubricate
40:58my throat.
40:59Is that all right with you, J.D.?
41:03Anything my brother wants is all right with me, Your Honor.
41:06Get back, get back.
41:09Okay.
41:21Flash, come on now.
41:24Come on, you're going to do your silly duty.
41:29Well, there, come on, Flash, right down on the floor, boy.
41:41Hey, that looks real nice.
41:53Thank you, man.
42:04Hey, that looks real nice.
42:28Oh, my, my, you've got tasty water in these parts.
42:31Now, where do I sign?
42:33Right, sure.
42:34Yeah.
42:35Well, I've got a pen.
42:37It's in your white, uh...
42:39You got a pen, Your Honor?
42:40Oh, I certainly hope so.
42:42Yeah.
42:46No brakes.
42:47Must have busted a hydraulic line.
42:49Don't worry, Luke.
42:49I think we're going to stop anyway.
42:51We sure are.
42:52See you, please, children.
42:59Hey, hey, oh!
43:02We flew right through the air.
43:03Ooh, ooh, ooh.
43:05Man, it's thirsty, though, didn't it?
43:07Oh, you good children.
43:08Hey, we'll get you right out of here.
43:09You look all right.
43:10Hey, you still alive?
43:12You're not hurt or anything.
43:13Get out of here.
43:14Oh, my goodness.
43:15I'm fine.
43:15You all right?
43:16Get out of there.
43:18Oh, my goodness.
43:27What is this?
43:40And who, may I ask, sir, are you?
43:44Aye, sir, I'm Abraham Lincoln Hall.
43:47Your Honor, this man happens to be an imposter.
43:51I'm the real Abraham Lincoln Hall.
43:54I would truly love to believe you.
43:57But the problem is, I can't tell which one is which.
44:00And until I can, this estate is going to be held up in court, maybe for years.
44:04You can't do that.
44:06I promise to sell their land as of tomorrow.
44:09And I promise to contribute it to a worthy cause for the public good.
44:14Judge, begging your pardon, there is one surefire way to tell them apart.
44:19Judge, are you going to take the word of an ex-moonshiner on something as important as this?
44:23Now, Roscoe, don't you think he should take the word of your number one deputy?
44:26Hmm.
44:29Come on, Flash.
44:31Come on out of there.
44:32You're a pile of dog.
44:33You are.
44:33Oof.
44:34There you go.
44:36There you go.
44:40Now, you say hi to your old friend, Abe.
44:47Sure are kippo, ain't you?
44:52Oh, bless you, sweetie, bless you.
44:56Well, that don't mean nothing.
44:58You ain't going to take the actions of a piddly old dog in a matter as serious as this, are
45:02you?
45:03That hound will cuddle up to anybody.
45:04If you say so, why don't you give it a try?
45:07Hmm?
45:09Yeah, well...
45:11There's no back at me!
45:14Get away!
45:15Oh, gee!
45:16Even person would be better than that!
45:19Get out of the way!
45:23All right, Flash, good dog!
45:26And that's how Roscoe's dog conclusively proved which boss was the phone.
45:30All right, go get him, Flash!
45:32Tear him up!
45:34Abe Lincoln Hogg gave his share of the inheritance to Jesse to turn over to the Veterans Organization.
45:39As for Luke and Daisy, well, the least they could do was take care of the sheriff's dog while he
45:44was in the hoose gal.
45:45Because the Fenceburg sheriff arrested Boss and Roscoe for a malicious mischief.
45:49Both of them had to spend the night in the Fenceburg pokey with a breakfast of grits and a slice
45:53of cold chicken gravy.
45:55This is embarrassing, isn't it?
45:57And if you're wondering why old Abe had to hitchhike out of Hazard, well, it was because, true to his
46:02nature, he just couldn't resist giving things away, even when it came down to his own car.
46:08Thank you very much!
46:13Very nice!
46:19And there's one thing that old Abe Hogg proved.
46:22Where the Hogg family is concerned, one apple don't change the whole barrel.
46:27But Hazard wouldn't be Hazard if it did.
46:33Oh, my God!
46:40Oh, my God!
47:14I'm Dukes! I'm Dukes!
47:18I'm Dukes!
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