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00:30Every year, nearly 500,000 people enter the UK annually every year.
00:38At North End Airport, the agents of Borderline remain effective by working hard and staying vigilant.
00:44In this morning's briefing about first aid, Chief Inspector Linda Proctor wants to emphasise the importance of teamwork and professionalism.
00:52Though this could be a challenge, as she seems slightly preoccupied.
00:56So, first aid. Why is first aid so important?
01:04Because if your co-worker needs help, it's your job to support them.
01:11Does that sound too hard?
01:14Is supporting your partner too boring?
01:16Sounds pretty simple to me.
01:18That's what marriage is. It's a mutual contract between two adults who care about each other and support each other.
01:27Are you OK?
01:34So, last night, my husband decided that he was going to quit his job and repair vintage motorcycles.
01:41Because apparently being an accountant for one of the biggest firms in England is too boring.
01:47Because jobs can't be boring.
01:49They have to be fun all the time.
01:52I mean, look at me.
01:53I'm having the time of my life.
01:55As the agents settle at their desks, it's clear that Tariq Mansour is also having a difficult morning.
02:03Big night?
02:05Yeah, I went out with some mates and I had half a bottle of Jager.
02:08Oh, Jager. Did you take your fake ID?
02:11No, I don't need ID because I'm a grown-up.
02:14Grown-up that drinks Jager?
02:15Did you go to Laser Quest as well?
02:17No, I'm doing that next week.
02:18Oh, OK.
02:18So, what did you do?
02:19Just stayed up and watched the voice battle round.
02:21The voice battle round?
02:22Yeah, that's right.
02:23The voice battle round.
02:25Just because I don't go out drinking every night doesn't mean I'm not fun.
02:28You know, I'm fun.
02:29That's the window bit, so I've separated that out, so please don't move that.
02:32That's the reference guide.
02:34Also, if you think you're forcing it in, that's not a fit.
02:38You're having fun, right?
02:39This is fun.
02:42That's so cool.
02:43Yeah, it is cool, yeah.
02:44That is cool.
02:45As these two agents discuss who's the least professional, duty calls for Agent Clive Hassler.
02:50He faces the unusual situation of stopping two passengers from leaving the country.
02:55It's not a definite amount of time.
02:59Just detained a Miss Alan and a Miss Ferguson who are on their way to a hen party in Benidorm.
03:09But one of them is too drunk to fly.
03:12That's not a problem.
03:13You just have to stop them from getting aggressive because then you have to call the police.
03:16That's not a big problem for me.
03:18I feel like I'm quite good at keeping people calm.
03:21They seem nice.
03:27And a bit wild.
03:28Meanwhile, Agent Grant Brody has detained this Ukrainian passenger unlucky enough to be stopped in a random spot check.
03:37But for some reason, he's hesitant to enter the interview room.
03:40He's been outside for nearly 12 minutes.
03:42I just need to determine the nature of your visit here.
03:47Here to work or clean house?
03:50No, I have a job back home.
03:52I have a shop.
03:53Oh, really?
03:54Yeah.
03:55What kind of a shop do you have?
03:57Well, I sell Italian stockings and underwear.
04:00Oh, lovely.
04:07So I was just checking that you weren't here to take anybody's jobs.
04:14So I just need to...
04:17Do you have a return ticket, Miss Panchenko?
04:21Yes.
04:22It's a lovely picture.
04:24Panchenko.
04:25Oh.
04:27Panchenko.
04:27So you're travelling alone?
04:31Yes.
04:32No husband?
04:33I'm single.
04:34No husband.
04:35I wasn't, like, checking for me or...
04:39I was...
04:39It's for my records, the records.
04:43That's OK.
04:46While Agent Brody continues to interrogate his detainee,
04:51Agent Hustler tries to keep the drunk hen party occupied.
04:54I knew a guy who got married,
04:56and, uh, he had a stag do,
04:59uh,
05:00and...
05:01I bet it was crazy.
05:03Two cups for the ladies.
05:04Worried that Agent Hustler might need some assistance,
05:07Agent Church arrives with refreshments for the hens.
05:09It's also a great chance for her to show just how fun she can be.
05:13So what have you guys got planned for the hen do then?
05:15Oh, God, loads.
05:16We've already been to London last weekend.
05:18Oh, right.
05:18He smashed it up to me.
05:20It was crazy.
05:21Bet you did.
05:21Yeah, I got this, um, naked butler,
05:24and, um, he put his dick in a drink.
05:27And I drank it.
05:28Yeah.
05:29Go on.
05:29I probably would have drunk it too if I hadn't been there.
05:33So when we get to Benidorm,
05:34um, we're just gonna hit the beach and party,
05:36might go crazy.
05:38This one is mental.
05:39She's a monster.
05:40As you can see.
05:41I can see that.
05:42Yeah.
05:42I met my husband in the car park,
05:45uh, at the supermarket,
05:47and, uh, he was driving around in this Ford Fiesta,
05:51and I got in.
05:52He said,
05:52do you want a lift?
05:53And I said,
05:53I don't go in with strangers.
05:55And then he kissed me,
05:56and he went,
05:56we're not strangers anymore.
05:57And then he took me home,
05:58and he put it right at me.
05:59Oh, my God.
06:01Anne-Marie,
06:01she's the one that's getting married.
06:02Oh, yeah.
06:03Show what we've got her.
06:04It's so funny.
06:05Yeah, we're gonna make her wear this the whole time.
06:06Oh, okay.
06:07She's gonna die.
06:09Oh, I mean, that's hilarious.
06:11That sounds like you're gonna have a really fun time.
06:13Yeah, we are.
06:14Put it on.
06:15Oh, no.
06:15I'm okay.
06:17I'll put it on.
06:18No, I'd put the dicks on your head.
06:19I just noticed she's not gonna wear dicks.
06:21I don't want to put the dicks on my head.
06:22I don't think she's the kind of girl that wears those.
06:25No, it's fine.
06:25Really?
06:26Yeah.
06:26I don't think you are, though.
06:27Okay, well, I'll prove you wrong
06:29by putting these glittery dicks on my head.
06:31You actually suit them.
06:38I'm really glad I did this, actually.
06:41Why have you got that on?
06:42I don't know.
06:44Great.
06:45Andy, can I have a word?
06:46I'm sure Agent Hasler can handle this.
06:48Absolutely, I can handle this.
06:50Under control.
06:52Do you want me to send Tarik in?
06:53My best bro?
06:54Yeah, you can send him in.
06:57You ladies, you're gonna love this guy.
06:59He's a DJ.
07:01At the airport?
07:02Yeah.
07:03How does that work?
07:07I don't know.
07:08If you just want to take a seat,
07:10and I'll make you a wee cup of tea.
07:12Agent Brody has been processing his detainee
07:14for an impressive two hours,
07:16and now continues in the office break room,
07:18which is unusual.
07:19Oh, there's your tea there.
07:21PG tips.
07:22Do you have PG tips where you come from?
07:25No.
07:26All tea in Ukraine is made from potatoes.
07:30Oh, right.
07:31See what you did there?
07:33That was a joke.
07:34When I go back over to my desk over there,
07:40I'll have to write beautiful and funny on the form.
07:51You're getting red.
07:54I'm getting...
07:55Am I?
07:55I have a bit of a ruddy disposition.
08:00Well, I snort when I laugh.
08:03Really?
08:04Yes?
08:04Yeah.
08:05Tell me a joke.
08:06All right, OK.
08:08Why are there no black men on the moon?
08:13I... I don't know.
08:16Because there's no white women up there.
08:21Sorry, I...
08:22I don't think that's funny.
08:25Sorry, yeah, I can imagine that was a bit inappropriate.
08:28You see, I was down in the pub last night,
08:29my friend Mackie told that joke, he's a black guy,
08:32but when he says it, it sounds...
08:34Well, everybody laughed.
08:35When I just said it there, that, you know, it just sounded racist.
08:38Just a little bit, yeah.
08:39Yeah.
08:41I've got another one.
08:42Right, right.
08:44There's a...
08:44OK, there's a vicar, an astronaut and a Chinaman,
08:49sorry, an oriental chap, walking to a pub.
08:51I'm at work, Fergus, remember that?
08:54I go to work.
08:56No, she doesn't need an intervention.
09:00Chief Inspector Proctor is finding her day increasingly challenging
09:03as she deals with a panicked phone call from her husband
09:05who's deeply concerned about their daughter.
09:08Because we're talking about biscuits, Fergus,
09:11not bloody crack cocaine, they're hobnobs.
09:14We're not the first people in the universe to have a fat daughter.
09:17Fine, bye.
09:22You see what I mean?
09:27The detained hen party is still a potential liability
09:30as they are yet to sober up.
09:32With Agent Hassler somewhat out of his depth,
09:35help arrives in the form of Agent Tariq Mansour.
09:38Hey, man.
09:40And DJ Tariq in the house, here he is.
09:43Hi, guys, I'm Tariq.
09:46Tariq.
09:47Hi.
09:48So, how has Clive been treating you ladies?
09:51OK, I guess.
09:52Tariq, this is Stacey and Celeste.
09:56One of them is too drunk to fly.
09:59Guess which one?
10:00Oh, let me use my training.
10:02It's obviously yourself.
10:03It was me, I tricked you.
10:06I got it straight away.
10:08Cool, so how may I assist you?
10:11Agents Mansour and Hassler have kept this potentially volatile situation under control.
10:16A perfect example of how the agents remain focused and professional at all times,
10:21essential in a busy office like this one.
10:24However, with such demanding and stressful work,
10:27it's equally important to take some time out to relax.
10:29Is that not smooth, like, because...
10:31It's not very smooth, no.
10:33Because it's a romantic kind of language, isn't it?
10:35Where did you pick it up?
10:36I've seen a lot of, like, Goodfellas and Scorsese films,
10:39and I'm, I mean, they're American.
10:42Do the accent.
10:43It's, uh...
10:45Oh, OK.
10:47Yeah?
10:47That is bad.
10:48That's why I did it once.
10:49Yeah.
10:50And...
10:50It's done pretty well.
10:51Isn't it boring off, like, 600 times, though?
10:54Yes.
10:55It's like...
10:56Yeah, of course it does.
10:57Yeah, but...
10:58All right.
11:02Hey!
11:02Oh, my God.
11:04Jesus.
11:05Yeah?
11:06Are we still playing hide-and-seek?
11:08Yes, but we can see you.
11:12God.
11:13Don't...
11:13Turn around.
11:16But before they know it, break time's over.
11:19All too soon, it's back to work.
11:22Oh, well, we can't play it here now.
11:24Give me five minutes.
11:26In five minutes.
11:36Boo.
11:38God, are you OK?
11:40God, that gave me a fright.
11:44It's an unusual day at North End.
11:47The goal is a safe and professional office,
11:49but agents seem focused on other things.
11:51Chief Inspector Linda Proctor is having a particularly difficult day,
11:55but luckily is able to force a willing colleague
11:58to be a sympathetic listener.
12:01Do you ever wish you hadn't stopped smoking?
12:02I've never smoked.
12:03Last night, you've got a boyfriend, right?
12:05No.
12:05Last night, Fergus wanted to have sex with me.
12:08Oh, OK.
12:08I mean, he physically repulses me, physically.
12:12Mm-hm.
12:12He's just so heavy now.
12:16Climbs on top of me like a scared seal,
12:19trying to get on top of a rock before a killer whale eats him.
12:23Except you can't, because he's too fucking fat.
12:26It's not that I don't love Fergus.
12:28It's just a bit like, um...
12:30I remember having a tortoise when I was a kid.
12:34And, uh, you know, when we first got him,
12:36it was really lovely.
12:37Then I asked my mum one day,
12:39how long do they live?
12:40And she said 100 years.
12:46I love these deep and meaningful conversations we have.
12:50Uh, uh, uh.
12:53Fergus, he sounds just like that.
12:55Pound, pound, pound, pound.
12:59I just lie there and let him pound away.
13:02OK.
13:02That's that.
13:03That's a lot to write.
13:05OK.
13:06Where are you going?
13:07I just need to...
13:10Thanks for this.
13:11It's been great.
13:12Yeah, no worries.
13:15Fuck.
13:16As Agent Church decides that's enough moral support for one day,
13:20back in detention with the Hens,
13:22Agents Mansour and Hassler
13:23are also utilising their communication skills.
13:26Some of the beaches are the nudist.
13:29And I forgot my bikini.
13:31You're going to have to just buy one when you get there.
13:34You've got to pack smart.
13:36Do you pack smart?
13:37Please fuck off.
13:39Oh!
13:41Someone's still a little bit tipsy.
13:43Um, don't worry.
13:45Sometimes I get a little bit tipsy as well if I've had a cocktail.
13:49I don't care.
13:50One time, Tarek has shown me this drink.
13:52It's called a cement mixer.
13:53And what you do is you have some Baileys
13:56and you keep it in your mouth
13:57and then you squirt in some lime juice
14:00and it sort of curdles
14:02and it goes like a sort of chewing gum but with off milk.
14:06And it actually kind of tastes good
14:07once you get over that sort of phlegm-like texture.
14:11I think I'm going to throw up.
14:13Really?
14:14Mm-hmm.
14:15Oh, God.
14:23Oh, so that's what fun looks like.
14:25Oh, that's disgusting.
14:30The day is almost done
14:31and Agent Brody has almost cleared the Ukrainian traveller.
14:35A true professional,
14:36he completed the interview in a record four hours and 52 minutes
14:39and now walks her to her taxi after leaving his post completely.
14:43It's all part of the service.
14:45To help everyone with their luggage.
14:47Oh, yeah, yeah.
14:48Like to come down here and escort people into their taxis.
14:52Really?
14:53Everyone?
14:56No.
14:57No, you got me.
14:58I've never done this before.
15:02I'm glad you did.
15:03Aye.
15:05I'm really sorry about those jokes earlier on.
15:08I need to work on them.
15:10Telling jokes is not my forte.
15:12Oh, there she goes.
15:14That's a wee snort they are.
15:16That's absolutely adorable.
15:18Really, really adorable.
15:20So I have a really good Ukrainian joke.
15:24How do you know that you're not going to be sad all your life?
15:29Because one day you die.
15:32Well, I guess this is goodbye.
15:37Can I have your number?
15:38Sorry, what was that?
15:40So I can call you.
15:44Yep, yep, sure, yes, yes, you can.
15:47You're turning red again.
15:49Probably, it's been a long day.
15:51Knock, knock.
15:53Who's there?
15:54A Frenchman.
15:55Oh, no, wait.
15:56No, that's...
15:57I'll give you my number.
15:59Zero.
16:00Nobody's ever asked me for my number before.
16:03It makes things a lot easier.
16:06I paid for our taxi there.
16:08It's 20 quid.
16:10In for a penny, in for a pound.
16:11I really like Grant, I think he's a very nice gentleman.
16:18Very sweet and just confused.
16:21I feel like I've been swept off my feet.
16:28But I need to...
16:31Do you know what I mean?
16:35Agent Brody has cleared his detainee and made a personal connection, which is lovely and probably unethical.
16:42Also connecting with passengers, agents Tarek Mansoor and Clive Hassler keep the two hens occupied as they sober up enough to fly.
16:50Can you isolate?
16:51Oh, you can.
16:52I sure can.
16:53You're doing it really well.
16:54What else can you isolate?
16:55My left thumb is, it's double-jointed, so you can kind of, not my right, but you can kind of make it look like it's broken.
17:02Do you want a few?
17:03No, mate.
17:04How do you deal with him every day?
17:05He's all right.
17:06He's harmless.
17:07You just get used to it.
17:08Get used to what?
17:09What do you mean?
17:10You're annoying.
17:11Yeah.
17:12What's wrong with you?
17:13Like, seriously, do you not understand how, like, annoying you are?
17:16Whoa, whoa, whoa.
17:17You're so annoying.
17:18Whoa, whoa.
17:18You're grating.
17:20Calm down.
17:20It's okay.
17:21He's a twat.
17:22No, he's my mate.
17:24What?
17:24Seriously, he's your mate?
17:26Are you crazy?
17:27Oh, okay, look, please remember that you are in custody, and if I were you, I'd start showing agents a bit more respect.
17:32Excuse me.
17:34Come on, Clive.
17:41He was all over you.
17:43I know.
17:47Hey, man.
17:50You really embarrassed yourself in there.
17:55Try not to think about it too much.
17:57Okay.
17:58Go on.
17:58Yeah, it's a shame, because, like, I thought we had something, like, a spark, and just because I slagged off his retarded friend, I don't know why he, like, went apeshit at me.
18:10Like, that was a bit left field.
18:14I'm just going to be at my desk if you need me, okay?
18:15Oh, see you.
18:19The grand old Duke of York.
18:23You all right?
18:29Ah, should have took Ron in there.
18:33Many much soon, Dan, again.
18:35Proctor has had a tough day, but it's been worth it, if only to find a new ally in the workplace.
18:40So, I've been spending a lot more time with Andy, and it's been just really, really nice, because there aren't that many women in this line of work, and it's just really nice to hang out with somebody who you can share opinions with, and struggles with, and...
18:57We're just always laughing, and we just really make each other laugh.
19:02Jigsaw?
19:03God, I love jigsaws.
19:06Do you mind if I join you?
19:12Agent Mansoor has cleared the hen party.
19:15He now debriefs Agent Church, as they both finalise the case's paperwork together, a job that requires attention and focus.
19:22Which Spice Girl did you like most?
19:25It should come immediate.
19:26It should be an immediate answer.
19:27Scary.
19:28Scary.
19:28She's the worst one.
19:30How worse?
19:31She was gorgeous.
19:32But if...
19:33If you...
19:34Oh, wow.
19:48You guys are bad at that game.
19:50We are so bad at that game.
19:52And then...
19:52We didn't know where you were.
19:54That's the game.
19:57Hide.
19:59Seek.
20:00No, we did seek.
20:02Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:02We just didn't know where they were.
20:04The break room we had covered.
20:06We looked in the break room.
20:07Proctor's office.
20:09What do I think about Tarek flirting with that girl?
20:13Well, firstly, I didn't realise what that was, was flirting.
20:19No, it's...
20:20I mean, it's fine.
20:21You know, yeah, he can do that.
20:24It's a bit of a strange choice.
20:27I suppose he is just having fun.
20:29I should try it.
20:31Next time I get invited to something I'd normally say no to, I'll say yes.
20:34Even if it is just to avoid getting stuck with Proctor.
20:36So, how did things go with your new girlfriend?
20:40We're not going to make it.
20:41Oh, that's a shame.
20:43How was your day?
20:44Yeah, fine.
20:45What do you do now?
20:46Because I'm going to go to the Rose and Crown if you want to come.
20:48Uh...
20:49It's quiz night.
20:50All right, so you need me on your quiz then.
20:52Uh-huh.
20:53That's actually sound really fun.
20:55Did I just hear you say you're going to the Rose and Crown?
21:00Yeah.
21:00That's what we said.
21:01Great, because I'm staying there tonight instead of going home.
21:05So, looks like we're all having a drink together.
21:08This morning, Proctor gave a talk all about teamwork.
21:13Uh...
21:14And then, today, Tarek...
21:18Yeah, we're back in there.
21:19You know, he's, uh...
21:20We are a team.
21:22He's my...
21:24He's my partner.
21:25And, uh...
21:27Well, I guess I'm...
21:28I'm off to go meet my partner for a drink.
21:32But first I've got to clean the sick out of this bin.
21:35You wait till I'm half a bottle of Prosecco in.
21:37Woo!
21:38Lady Petrol!
21:40Just give me a second to get my things.
21:45Lady Petrol.
21:49OK, last one to the bar.
21:50It's a big, fat puff.
21:52OK.
21:52Thanks.
22:05Now, I'm going to play with you.
22:06All right.
22:07Let's do it.
22:08I don't know.
22:09Okay.
22:09Let's do it.
22:10Hey!
22:11Move it.
22:12Get in!
22:12Let's go!
22:13I'm from...
22:18acle...
22:23Google.
22:23Googleambre.
22:24Google!
22:25Google!
22:25Google!
22:25Google!
22:26Google!
22:27Google!
22:28Awesome!
22:29Google!
22:30Google!
22:32Google!
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