- 5 hours ago
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00:25No, no.
00:26I think the banner should say greetings from all at Whitbury Newtown Leisure Centre
00:30and welcome back, Mr. Brittus, from the dead after your terrible accident.
00:34It's a bit long, Colin.
00:36I don't mind.
00:37If it's for Mr. Brittus, I don't care if it takes me a week to paint it.
00:40He's coming back tomorrow.
00:41Point taken, Linda.
00:43Tomorrow, eh?
00:43Oh, happy day.
00:44I preferred it when he was dead.
00:48Brittus is getting fan letters now.
00:50The Reincarnation Society wants him to give a talk
00:53and the Spiritualists want him to write a guidebook to the other side.
00:56First things first, tomorrow's buffet, Tim.
00:59Well, he's been in hospital in Switzerland, so I thought we'd do Indian.
01:02He won't have had any Indian.
01:03Penny, what do you think?
01:05Well, Indian seems like a good idea.
01:07Sir Moses, poverty...
01:08No, no, let's not have anything flat.
01:11When that huge water tank fell on Mr. Brittus, he looked like a chapati.
01:15Oh, please, Tim.
01:16Oh, listen, when I last saw him, you could have slid him under that door.
01:20Well, perhaps he'll come back to live it in a cardboard box, like a pizza.
01:23Oh, he's been rebuilt. He's not flat any more.
01:26He could be all plastic and metal now, entirely devoid of feeling.
01:29No change there, then.
01:31What it's like being dead.
01:33I think I'll do a thesis on it.
01:35I mean, when I go to theological college,
01:37I'll be the only one who knows someone who's actually been dead.
01:40He can tell me all about it.
01:41Hang on a minute.
01:42Before we get too carried away, I had a letter from the hospital in Zurich.
01:45He doesn't know that he was dead.
01:47And nobody must tell him.
01:49Look, it says he...
01:50Oh, Julie, I'm sorry.
01:52Was it me saying that Mr. Brittus looked like a chapati?
01:55Oh, no, it was something I ate.
01:56Oh, those wristles in the canteen.
01:58No, but I own two rubbers.
02:01By who?
02:02Well, I'm pregnant, hon, ta.
02:04I get cravings for strange things.
02:06Oh, listen, you come with me.
02:07I've got a little something for you.
02:09I'll tell you what, it's better out than in.
02:12Penny, was there anything you wanted to raise?
02:14Yes.
02:15What about the rest of us raising things?
02:16You always turn to Penny.
02:18Linda and me have been here longer than Penny.
02:19All right, then, Tim.
02:20What was it you wanted to raise?
02:23Well, nothing, as it happens.
02:25Oh, very much.
02:25If he doesn't know he's been dead, where does he think he's been?
02:29And what about that job in Brussels he got?
02:31He's not going to Brussels, Linda.
02:33He failed the medical.
02:34Failed the medical?
02:35What was wrong with him?
02:37He was dead.
02:39And so the sad princess, Princess Carol, went to a faraway land to meet our prince.
02:47When she got there, the prince had married another princess.
02:50And she got very sad and she wet great big tears.
02:54No, no, don't cry, darling.
02:56Mummy's just a bit sad, that's all.
02:58There'll be a happy ending.
03:00Morning, Carol.
03:01Welcome to Whippy Newtown Leisure Centre.
03:03How may I help you?
03:04Mr. Brittis isn't back till tomorrow.
03:05Mr. Brittis.
03:06Nah.
03:08Always one jump ahead, Carol.
03:10It's you, but you're not meant to be back till tomorrow.
03:12I'd have been back sooner, but I couldn't get through the metal detector at Zurich.
03:16You look just like you always look.
03:19Thank you, Carol.
03:20And you?
03:21I thought you'd be flatter, but you're all filled out.
03:24And you, Carol.
03:26Nicely filled out.
03:27Come and have a word with me about pregnancy leave.
03:30I'm not pregnant.
03:32Carol, I thought you'd left.
03:34I thought you were going to Austria to be a governess to Herr von Trapp's family with every chance of
03:39wedding bells.
03:39Don't speak about it, Mr. Brittis.
03:41Herr von Trapp went and married one of the nuns.
03:45I tried to keep a brave face in front of the children, but if you would try not to mention
03:48Austria or anything, I'd be very grateful.
03:51I understand, Carol.
03:54Oh, Carol, put the chimes away, will you?
03:57I wasn't pleased to hear the sound of music.
04:02So, tomorrow, he walks up the red carpet towards the centre, sees the banner, welcome home, Mr. B, we all
04:08jump out from behind the bushes and shout surprise.
04:10I don't think so, Gavin.
04:12Mr. Brittis.
04:14We won't express you until tomorrow, Mr. Brittis.
04:18Jim and me.
04:21Life in the old dog yet.
04:22Don't know me own strength.
04:23Linda.
04:26And who may this be?
04:27Um, I won't shake hands.
04:29They're, um, sticky.
04:30Nothing fungal, I hope.
04:32This is Mrs. Bidmead.
04:34Penny Bidmead.
04:35She's in charge of the sauna solarium.
04:37Oh, yes, the sauna solarium.
04:40Hived off with a view to privatisation and Mrs. Bidmead appointed in my absence.
04:44Well, let's hope for the best, shall we?
04:46Excuse me.
04:47Right, I'm under strict instructions to relax and follow a hands-off strategy.
04:53So, Gavin, you're in charge and I'm purely an observer.
04:56Oh, right, Mr. Brittis.
04:57Oh, dear, somebody hasn't tore the page off the desk calendar.
05:02What have you been?
05:02Been, been, been, been, been, been, been, been.
05:04Gavin, you're running a sloppy ship, sir.
05:05Well, Julie was being sick in it, Mr. Brittis.
05:08There's a procedure for vomiting, Gavin.
05:10Look it up, please.
05:11Yes, right, and I'm going to sit here and do nothing.
05:13Sorry I'm late, everybody.
05:14Julie's been sick in three different areas.
05:17There was a lot of blue tack in there.
05:18Elastic bands, tick...
05:23Mr. Brittis!
05:24Julie, where the bee?
05:25Oh, let me give you a kiss and a hug, Mr. Brittis.
05:28No, thank you, Colin.
05:29Let me shake your hand.
05:30Put it there, put it there.
05:32Where's that glove been, Colin?
05:34Just tickling the back of Julie's throat.
05:37Oh, let me look at you.
05:39Oh, you're tanned.
05:41You're beautiful.
05:43You look well, Mr. Brittis.
05:44It's fitness, Gavin, and strength and stamina.
05:47They'll be running up and down the Alps.
05:48Where's your spot?
05:49I'm sorry, Mr. Brittis.
05:50The day you left, it dropped off.
05:53I've got it in a jar.
05:54Have I to fetch it?
05:55Not right now, Colin.
05:57And to think that dreadful water tank fell on you
06:00and you were all flat and the doctor pronounced you...
06:03Linda, I think it's time for your presentation.
06:06The model...
06:06Don't mention he was dead.
06:08Oh, right.
06:11Mr. Brittis, when the ambulance man took one look at you
06:14and said he'd never seen anyone so...
06:18unwell.
06:20I decided to make something beautiful in your memory.
06:23So here it is.
06:25a scale model
06:26of Whitbury
06:28Newtown Leisure Centre.
06:30Oh, thank you, Colin.
06:35Here you are, Mr. Brittis,
06:37standing outside,
06:38waiting to welcome in the public.
06:40Why am I holding up a green flag?
06:41He's out of my train set, Mr. Brittis.
06:45He doesn't look very like me.
06:47Oh, I don't know.
06:48He's waving his arms about,
06:49blowing his whistle,
06:49nobody's taking any notice
06:50and he's entirely made out of plastic.
06:56Nyaaah.
07:00Welcome to Whitbury Hotel Leisure.
07:01It's me, Carol.
07:02Miss Brittis!
07:03What are you doing here?
07:04I thought...
07:05Oh, no.
07:06That von Trapp look's thrown you out, hasn't he?
07:08I told you never to trust Austrian men with little moustaches.
07:10You're so right, Miss Brittis.
07:11Put yourself together, Carol.
07:12Look, I've got to be back at the clinic
07:13before the pills wear off.
07:14I've always kept you in a street jacket, Miss Brittis.
07:17Only for the first month.
07:18I'm in group therapy now.
07:20At least I would be
07:20if they could find any other women
07:21whose husbands came back from the dead.
07:23Are you having a sauna or a swim?
07:25I'm having a crisis, Carol.
07:27I'm a normal, healthy woman.
07:30And there's this doctor at the clinic.
07:32You know, blonde, blue eyes, muscles,
07:34all of my favourite things.
07:35Favourite things?
07:37Do you listen, Carol, please?
07:39Anyway, this doctor's wife sent Gordon a letter
07:42telling him all about me
07:43and my inclinations towards her husband.
07:45I've got to destroy that letter
07:46before Gordon gets back.
07:48But he's back!
07:49What?
07:49When?
07:50Ten minutes ago.
07:51He might not have read it yet.
07:54Any men in white coats come in,
07:56you haven't seen me.
07:57Yes, Miss Brittis.
07:58What?
08:00Now, what we have here is a euro whistle
08:04for each of you still in the public sector,
08:08which I initially intend to phase in
08:11alongside our standard issue council whistles.
08:14You'll all have two whistles?
08:21That is for the infringement of a euro regulation.
08:26But we don't know any euro regulations, Mr. Brittis.
08:29Oh, Gavin, you will.
08:30They're on their way.
08:31By post?
08:32By juggernaut.
08:33Just learn to blow the whistle for the time being, all right?
08:35Yes, Mr. Brittis.
08:37I'm three minutes late for my pool inspection.
08:38Let's go.
08:39No, Mr. Brittis, you said you were going to be hands-off.
08:41Quite right, Gavin.
08:42Hands-off it is.
08:43You're in charge.
08:45I'll just take a back seat, all right?
08:48What's that noise?
08:49You've sat on the leisure centre, Mr. Brittis.
08:52Well, who put it there?
08:54You've wrecked it.
08:56It's strange, you know.
08:56I've got very little feeling in some parts of my body.
08:59Maybe they've given you a bionic bottom.
09:02I think they would have said, Mrs. Bidmead.
09:04I just lack sensitivity, that's all.
09:06Yes, indeed, Mr. Brittis.
09:09While you're at the swimming pool,
09:10make sure you check between people's toes, please.
09:14Ah, it's good to be back.
09:18Mr. Brittis has got quite nice eyes, hasn't he?
09:22Gavin thinks you've got quite nice eyes, don't you, Gavin?
09:24I will have a word with you to...
09:25Excuse me, Penny.
09:26To your bookings, Mrs. Bidmead.
09:31Oh, Mrs. Hinks for the sauna.
09:34Mrs. Ray for the sunbed.
09:36Well, Mrs. Ray could certainly do with a drop of golden sun.
09:39Drop...
09:43Well, she's new.
09:44She needs a bit of friendly concern.
09:46Oh, showing friendly concern's one thing.
09:48Coming over all butch is another.
09:49I don't see it's any of your business.
09:50Of course it's my business.
09:51You find her attractive, don't you?
09:52Well, everyone does.
09:53You do.
09:54Look, you don't own me.
09:56You're not my mother.
09:57If you don't like it, you can shove off.
09:59Right.
10:04Julie, swy cafe, por favor.
10:07Now, what can I do for you, Mrs. Bidmead?
10:10Or now the sauna solarium is semi-independent.
10:13Perhaps I should say, what can I semi-do for you?
10:15I only came in to tell you about Carol and the fact...
10:17I know what you're going to say, Mrs. Bidmead.
10:19She keeps her children in the drawers and cupboards of reception.
10:21It's not something I'm proud of.
10:22No, it's not that, Mr. Brittus.
10:25It's the fact that she's horribly upset every time something reminds me of that nasty experience with Hair Von Trapp.
10:30Like any good manager, Mrs. Bidmead, I was aware of the situation.
10:35We at Whitbury have a special saying.
10:37Cowpat.
10:38Cow.
10:39It's a management tool.
10:40A cowpat is.
10:41Consider what practical action to take.
10:45Cowpat.
10:46Now, the practical action to take in this situation is to let everyone know.
10:51Watch this.
10:57Hello?
10:58Carol?
10:58Yes, Mrs. Bidmead.
10:59What I want you to do, Carol, is put your fingers in your ears and don't take them out until
11:02I tell you to, all right?
11:04Yes, Mrs. Bidmead.
11:06Part two.
11:08This is a staff announcement.
11:10Would all members of staff please take note that Carol, our receptionist, is likely to burst into tears every time
11:17someone mentions her seduction and abandonment.
11:19Carol?
11:21Carol, give us some cigarettes.
11:22I don't smoke, Mrs. Bidmead.
11:23What about the confiscation of all?
11:25The sound of music, the gone trance, a vice, whiskers on kittens, and the dog has been done.
11:34There you are, Mrs. Bidmead.
11:36Cowpat in action.
11:38Now, let's talk about you.
11:39Let's bond.
11:41First of all, if you bond, then I'll bond, then we'll bond together.
11:56Smoke along.
11:58Yeah, it's that one.
12:00And I can smell smoke.
12:02Attention, staff and public.
12:04Oh, perhaps it was only a cigarette, Mr. Bidmead.
12:06Better safe than sorry, Mrs. Bidmead.
12:08Evacuate, evacuate at the building.
12:10I repeat, evacuate at the building.
12:17He's back.
12:18Then he's having a fire drill.
12:19Oh, no.
12:34Better safe than sorry.
12:35And I like a good fire drill.
12:38Well, that's just the start.
12:39Next, it'll be flood drill, whooping cough alerts, invasion by penguins.
12:44And he sat on your model.
12:45He probably had a very good reason, Julie.
12:48Mr. Brittless knows what he's doing.
12:49He didn't seem to notice I was pregnant.
12:52Are you looking for something?
12:54Coke.
12:55Cola or Pepsi?
12:56The hard stuff.
12:57Drugs?
12:58No, you know, anthracite.
13:00Oh, you mean smokeless fuel.
13:05There you are.
13:08Oh, yeah.
13:09I just keep yearning for it.
13:12I love to see a girl with a healthy appetite.
13:15He's a lucky man, my fiancée of yours.
13:18All that money and you too.
13:20I chucked him.
13:21Why?
13:22He didn't insult you, did he?
13:24Because if he did, by God, I...
13:26He insulted me, all right.
13:28He wanted me to learn to speak proper.
13:30Elocution lessons me.
13:32I elocute very nicely, don't I?
13:34You speak beautifully, Julie.
13:36I've always thought that.
13:38I watch your lips.
13:40I love your lips.
13:42They're so dark and mysterious.
13:45My milkman's took me too.
13:48She cut me out of a round.
13:50Well, we're two little waves together then.
13:53Except I'm pregnant.
13:56Julie.
13:58I've always admired you.
14:00The way you've always helped Mr Britters in his great leisure crusade.
14:03And I was wondering if, now that my spot's dropped off,
14:07you would consider me.
14:08What else?
14:10Marry me, Julie.
14:12Why?
14:13I need a father for your child and I don't mind that it's not mine.
14:18You know those plant pots where the seed's already sown?
14:21I live with those very happily.
14:25I may not be much, Julie, but I've got a good heart.
14:30That's very nice of you, Colin.
14:32I can just see us now in the evenings together,
14:34you bathing the baby in front of the fire,
14:36me playing my swanny whistle.
14:39Makes sense, Julie.
14:41And I'm not just on the rebound from the milkman.
14:46I'll think about it.
14:47Well, that's fair enough.
14:49But before you say yes,
14:50I think there's something you ought to know about me.
14:53What?
14:54Well, you remember when I lost my memory,
14:56when Mr Britters was packing to go to Brussels before he died?
15:00Well, when I got my memory back,
15:01I remembered what I'd done.
15:02A terrible thing.
15:04I'd put a bomb in Mr Britters' croquet set.
15:07Luggage in advance.
15:08A bomb?
15:09It was silly of me, I know,
15:11and very irresponsible.
15:12Oh, well, it can't have gone off.
15:14It'd have been in the papers.
15:15What you have to consider is, Julie,
15:18could you marry a man who tried to assassinate Mr Britters?
15:22It helps.
15:24They don't know much about leisure, the Swiss.
15:27Yes, but I soon got them organised.
15:29Seven-a-side football, orthopaedic surgeons against plastic.
15:32Fascinating, Gordon.
15:33But I didn't just come here to say welcome back on behalf of the council.
15:38The fact is, what with your being away, we've had a couple of problems.
15:42Problems?
15:43You say problems, councillor.
15:44I say cow-pat.
15:48We had a little collection around the offices for a memorial for you for your accident.
15:53People were amazingly generous.
15:55We raised £512.
15:57But, of course, now you're with us again, and the fact is, people want their money back.
16:02A memorial to my accident?
16:05That is unusual, Jack.
16:06Very nice of people.
16:08Yeah, the thing is, the money, it's in cash, most of it, in an envelope, and it should be in
16:13your post.
16:16Julie, are you there?
16:17Where's the post, please?
16:18I'm busy!
16:22And then there's the business with the insurance.
16:25Insurance?
16:26What insurance?
16:27The life insurance.
16:28They paid out.
16:29They paid out?
16:30They paid your wife £88,000.
16:34But, of course, with the circumstances being what they are now, they want it back, and, unfortunately, your wife spent
16:41it all, just before they came to take her away.
16:45She spent £88,000.
16:47You see that car down there?
16:52What, next to the Rolls?
16:53No, the Rolls.
16:56That was £50,000 of it, the rest went on a horse.
17:00She bought a horse?
17:01No, Gordon!
17:03She backed it.
17:07Why did they pay out of my life insurance?
17:10Exactly.
17:11It must have been a computer error.
17:17They thought I was dead!
17:20Well, I'm sorry, that car's got to go back.
17:23Wait a minute, Jack.
17:26That car wasn't there when I came in this morning.
17:29My wife is on the premises.
17:31Here's your coffee.
17:32Oh, by the way, the clinic phoned.
17:34Your wife's got loose.
17:36Without her clothes.
17:38I'll just deal with this, councillor.
17:41Attention all staff and public.
17:43There's nothing to be alarmed about.
17:45Nothing at all.
17:47However, this is the naked lady with staring eyes and hair all over the place, carrying the feet into a
17:52Rolls Royce.
17:53Please inform this office immediately and be gentle with her, for this is the lady that I've worshipped for many
17:59years.
18:00Mrs. Brittis.
18:02Mrs. Brittis.
18:03Oh.
18:04Oh, Mrs. Brittis.
18:05I was just talking about you.
18:07To myself.
18:09What are you doing in my cupboard?
18:10I must have fallen asleep in there.
18:13When Gordon woke me up.
18:15Did you hear him?
18:17He's worshipped me for many years.
18:20He told everyone.
18:22And it's true.
18:24And all that time he was being reconstructed.
18:28I've been trying to make myself cheap with some doctor.
18:33God, I destroyed that letter.
18:35I'll let him know you're here, shall I?
18:37No, not just like this.
18:38I've got some stuff in the back of my car.
18:40I want to look my best.
18:43I want to...
18:46How does he look, Colin?
18:47Oh, he's fine.
18:49You know, he's got three dimensions again.
18:52He said he's never had so much stamina.
18:54And strong.
18:55He's got a grip like a vice.
18:57Of course, physically, we were always very good together.
19:03Those lederhosen, of course, were very appealing.
19:06Though they were terribly difficult to iron.
19:08I've got some lederhosen.
19:09Gavin says I look good in leather.
19:11Or he used to say.
19:13You're not very happy either, are you, Tim?
19:15I'm angry.
19:16It's Penny.
19:17Maybe he finds her attractive as a mother figure.
19:19She's no mother figure.
19:20You're a mother figure.
19:22Bye-bye.
19:22Oh, thank you.
19:24If ever I was after a mother figure, I'd come to you.
19:26Well, if ever you want to cuddle, I'm always very willing.
19:29Are you?
19:31Yes.
19:31Any time.
19:33Why has it all gone quiet?
19:35The children are listening.
19:36Come along, darlings.
19:38Get on with your gates.
19:39I've got two tickets for the English National Opera next week.
19:41Would you like to come?
19:42Yes.
19:42As soon as the post has been located, I will sort it out.
19:46And as soon as my wife has been located, ditto.
19:50Goodbye, councillor.
19:52Boo!
19:54Not supposed to be in Blue Area, Tim.
19:56Oh, there's nobody playing badminton.
19:58They all went home.
19:58I've said many times before, Tim, the public are neither here nor there.
20:03It's the running of the centre that counts.
20:05Back to Blue Area, please.
20:06And if there's no-one playing, you can always play with yourself.
20:10And keep an eye open for my wife, please.
20:13Oh, Mr Britters, the rest of your luggage has arrived from Brussels.
20:16Ah, look at that, Carol.
20:17Brussels efficiency for you.
20:19Seven items, all beautifully labelled.
20:21And my croquet set.
20:23Get Gavin to load it into the car for me, please, will you?
20:25Yes, Miss Briss.
20:28Miss Briss?
20:31Never mind eating pencils, Julie.
20:33Any word of my wife?
20:34No.
20:35What about the post?
20:36Don't ask me.
20:37Judy, look for it.
20:38Search around.
20:39Search under things.
20:40Search on top of things.
20:41Search, search, search.
20:42This arrived second post from the clinic.
20:45Private, personal, woman's handwriting.
20:47Not Mrs Britters'.
20:49Thank you, Julie.
20:57Hello, Gordon.
21:03You've not been taking your pills, my darling.
21:06Do you really worship me, Gordon?
21:09Your doctor's not going to be too pleased about this, my darling.
21:12Do you think you could worship me right now?
21:16And you could miss lunch as well.
21:20Pretend I'm your lunch, Gordon.
21:22My darling, we're paying for those lunches.
21:24And you've been spending money.
21:26That car's got to go back.
21:28By the way, your hair's going in the shredder.
21:30Place the door, Gordon.
21:32My darling, that door always stays open to rule and management.
21:34You know that.
21:35Gordon, you don't know what it's been like.
21:38Oh, darling.
21:39There's a time and place for everything.
21:41You're in an unstable condition.
21:42And you're going to shock yourself.
21:43I'm not a complete man.
21:45What?
21:45What have they taken away?
21:47They forgot to give me a belly button.
21:48Oh!
21:49And everything else is there.
21:51I'm going to look at the model, Mr. Brittus.
21:53Or am I interrupting?
21:56Not at all, Colin.
21:58Mrs. Brittus was just about to iron my shirt.
22:00Just leave the damn model and go, Colin.
22:03What's happening?
22:06Julie, get Mrs. Brittus an ambulance, will you?
22:10In fact, second thoughts make that group fool.
22:12Right, my darling.
22:14A lot has happened to you over the last two months.
22:16Nothing has happened to me over the last two months.
22:19My darling, just take it easy.
22:22There, there.
22:23Gordon, I've heard all about your strength and stamina.
22:28My darling, you're not yourself.
22:30Just take it easy.
22:32You've got to go away and get better.
22:33I'll give that Rolls Royce back.
22:34As for the other £38,000, we'll just have to put a little bit by each week.
22:38All right?
22:39We will get through this one together, my darling.
22:42Now, Gordon, now.
22:43Not now, my darling.
22:45Sometime soon, but not now.
22:47Make an appointment.
22:49An appointment?
22:51I'm going to make an appointment with my doctor.
22:54That's right, my darling.
22:56Put yourself in his hands and in no time at all, you'll be normal.
22:59Just like me.
23:01Normal.
23:04You're normal.
23:05I must be hearing things.
23:07You're not normal at all.
23:08Two months ago, you were dead.
23:12Dead?
23:13Dead.
23:14Don't you remember?
23:15Certified dead.
23:16I've got a death certificate.
23:17I framed it.
23:20I was dead?
23:21I bought new shoes for the funeral.
23:25And a hat.
23:26I'd just thrown the earth under your coffin and he started knocking.
23:30I knew it was you.
23:32It was your knock.
23:33But I couldn't have been dead.
23:35My bowels moved every day.
23:37You said so at the end of the bed.
23:38They could do anything with statistics.
23:41Of course you were dead.
23:42Why do you think they paid out their life insurance?
23:47I don't feel well, Helen.
23:53You had surgeons from all over the world clamouring to put you together again.
23:59It's all coming back, Helen.
24:01I know what heaven is.
24:03It's a great big leisure centre in the sky.
24:08I'm feeling very strange, Helen.
24:10Oh, no.
24:11Oh, no.
24:12Don't do it again, Gordon.
24:13Don't die again.
24:14I told the children once Daddy had gone on a long holiday.
24:17They're not going to believe me a second time.
24:19There.
24:20There.
24:21There.
24:22That's better.
24:23Mr. Brittus, we put everything on your car but the chrono cassette would...
24:27Oh.
24:27Isn't he well?
24:29You never tell me I was dead, Linda.
24:32You know!
24:33What was it like, Mr. Brittus?
24:35The other side?
24:36I mean, was there a great white light?
24:39Or a tunnel?
24:40Did you bump into anyone you knew?
24:42Was Hitler there?
24:43Was my grandma?
24:45The details are coming back.
24:47That coffin was very cramped.
24:50Most uncomfortable.
24:52I suspect it didn't conform to European standards.
24:56So what you're saying basically is you don't want to marry me because I'm too old and poor and ugly?
25:02Well, yeah.
25:04Fair enough.
25:04I am old and poor.
25:06And I wish my beauty spot hadn't dropped off.
25:08Do you think it would stick back on again?
25:10Penny, I've got two tickets for the English National Opera at home.
25:13I just wondered if you'd be interested.
25:15Take Tim.
25:16What?
25:16Well, you and Tim were an item.
25:18Oh, Tim shoved me in the pool.
25:20It must mean something.
25:25Was there a feeling of flying?
25:27Were you conscious of having wings?
25:28Oh, Linda, do shut up.
25:30Shouldn't you be in the red area?
25:31Yes, Miss.
25:32Carol, I'm just going to take Gordon home in his car.
25:34Could you ask someone to bring my car home for me?
25:36It's the Rolls.
25:37And tell Gavin he's in charge.
25:39I'm in charge.
25:40No, you're not.
25:42You came back a day early and now you're paying the price.
25:44You're going straight to bed.
25:46So am I.
25:48Uh, Carol?
25:50Oh, Tim!
25:51I know exactly what I'm going to wear for the opera.
25:53I have a long black skirt and a red top,
25:55and a stool that I'm going to wrap round and round,
25:56and black shoes that almost match my handbag.
25:59You want to take Gavin, don't you?
26:00I'm terribly sorry, Carol.
26:02It's just that I got myself into a bit of a trap.
26:04Trap?
26:06Trap!
26:10Hello.
26:11Hello.
26:12I've just heard that Mr. British's luggage has come back from Brussels,
26:15and they've put it in the boot of the car you're in.
26:18Yes, and to cut a long story short,
26:20there's a bomb in the crow case there.
26:22A what?
26:23I'm sorry about this inconvenience,
26:25but I really feel you ought to take some avoiding action.
26:29Darling?
26:31There's a bomb in the back.
26:34Hello.
26:46Hello.
26:46We're home.
26:47What?
26:50No, we're not.
26:51We're in a lake.
26:52Helen, I've told you before,
26:54I don't approve of your shortcuts.
27:02British?
27:03What is it, Colin?
27:05No, the croquet set is not in the car.
27:08Yes, I'm sure.
27:09It wouldn't fit in the boot.
27:11Colin, I'm in a lake.
27:12Why would I want a croquet set?
27:14I've got nothing to bang the hoops in with,
27:15and the balls would float away.
27:19Oh, darling, you've been hurt.
27:20Not you, Colin.
27:22Oh.
27:24Precisely why I keep a handkerchief in my right-hand pocket at all times.
27:28Let me dab that wound.
27:30What's this?
27:32Oh, it's the letter from that clinic of yours.
27:36Oh, Gordon.
27:38Totally unreadable now, anyway.
27:42I do love you, Gordon.
27:44Quite right.
27:50Can I hear it ticking?
27:52That's what the words used to say about Rolls-Royces, isn't it?
27:54All you hear is the ticking of the clock.
27:58There we go.
28:01Oh, that clothes is so...
28:04What a lovely thing.
28:05Beautiful.
28:06My aunt used to have one of those, you know?
28:08Didn't she?
28:08Yeah, she'd take me back to school in there.
28:15Oh!
28:17Oh!
28:19Oh!
28:20Oh, missus!
28:24Ah!
28:25Oh!
28:29Oh!
28:32Oh!
28:33Oh!FORE.
28:37Oh!
28:37Oh!
28:38Oh!
28:39Oh!
28:41Oh!
28:43Oh!
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