- 5 weeks ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00so um why did you think that was gonna be a western the title was broke back
00:13mountain i thought it was about horses
00:17welcome to the sleepover so what movie do you guys see
00:28uh king cologne yeah big the big monkey he was like and then there's the woman oh and yeah he was
00:38on you guys all broke back mountain didn't you no everybody this is my uncle freddy he was cool
00:47enough to let us have this here tonight thank you and this is chris he's kind of like timmy baker in
00:55homeroom was that a shot timmy's cool right he got kept back a couple times but the girls like him
01:05ladies
01:09uncle freddy don't leave help us think of something fun to do are you pushing uncle freddy i'm not afraid of
01:17you oh you're all witnesses i was struck first what are you gonna do hit me i would never hit you
01:24you're gonna do it oh stop hitting yourself zoe stop zoe stop stop you're a good person why don't you like
01:32you emma help me oh you want some emma come on i have pepper spray in my purse okay fun's over
01:40i can't believe i was ever like these girls boy crazy and giggling with my girlfriends
01:47yeah you were exactly like them just you know replace the phone with a book and all the girls
01:52with your accordion what happened kyle just texted me he's breaking up with me he says he's dating a
02:00girl from another school who's a junior i'm totally gonna delete his picture from your wallpaper oh
02:06oh man he if this is kyle he's playing you to make you jealous this 13 don't date 16
02:15why would he lie he's a guy it's the only weapon we have you girls have all the power until you
02:23hit middle age and then you have to compete with younger women for the limited number of successful
02:27males it's a whole other story let's mess with kyle
02:36hi hi i'm caitlin i forgot something when i was here a while ago oh man okay this is embarrassing
02:56you know how sometimes you spend some time with somebody but you forget stuff like who they are
03:03hey mom hi baby
03:07oh oh thank you for bringing my retainer thought i left it at dad's oh it's no problem now go check
03:16your bag and see if you grab my lip gloss okay i remember now you're emma's mom and i've never met
03:24you before in my life right and you're zoe's uncle how are you stupid and you nice to meet you
03:33zoe's always talking about how much she loves living here
03:37she says you're a really cool uncle hey emma says you are a really cool mom she also said you
03:44were pretty but you know i didn't know whether to believe her because sometimes mom pretty is
03:49not so pretty in some cases
03:53listen can i call you from china because that's where i'm gonna be when i finish digging myself
04:01out of this hole
04:02okay now hit him with this one maybe we should break up i felt really guilty about going to the
04:12movies and making out with your friend now hang up the phone wait why because he'll think you got
04:20cut off then he'll call all of his friends they'll deny it and he'll spend the rest of the night face
04:25down in his pillow crying hot angry tears of despair and thank you
04:31that is so sick and wrong
04:36brilliant
04:37have i topped timmy baker yet
04:41emma's still looking for the lip gloss i'm sorry you had to come all the way back
04:47oh it's no problem i got to meet your brother yeah you know i'm sorry about that too
04:53i found it sorry thank you sweetie go have a great night i will
04:58i gotta go sophia it's really nice meeting you freddie i'll see you tomorrow
05:04you hear that once they sample a little freddie they always come back for more
05:16she's going back to pick up a child
05:19she's good she found a fresh take on the old lead behind
05:25what are you doing she's zoe's friend's mom
05:28i can date zoe's friend's mom if they're hot
05:31seriously freddie you've never even dated a woman with a kid before
05:35you know she's right freddie it's totally different dating a single mom
05:39oh thank you chris
05:40you gotta you gotta wait till the kid's asleep you know
05:43gotta be quiet during sex you uh
05:45gotta be ready to cut and run
05:47sweatpants nothing with a zipper
05:49do you really wonder why i won't date you
05:53see you've been thinking about it
05:54oh
05:55when i was a little boy
05:59brother made you five
06:02my mother felt me
06:05the greatest man life
06:08now i'm a man
06:11now i'm a man
06:14oh
06:16oh
06:19oh
06:20oh
06:20oh
06:20oh
06:20oh
06:20oh
06:20oh
06:20oh
06:20oh
06:21oh
06:21oh
06:21oh
06:21oh
06:22oh
06:22oh
06:22oh
06:22oh
06:22oh
06:23oh
06:23oh
06:24oh
06:24oh
06:25lily was such a pleasure she's welcome back anytime
06:31do you think you can recognize your daughter's retainer
06:33hey
06:41gotta give manny your cell phone back
06:44i've been texting kyle all night
06:46check it out
06:49check it out i got him up to uh
06:50four crying faces
06:52i have an lol like this in a really long time
06:54hi
06:57i'm mandy's mom who are you
06:59oh i'm chris i'm mandy's love doctor
07:01no actually chris is a friend of ours
07:05kyle broke up with mandy last night and he's been trying to help her deal with it
07:09yeah he was totally playing your daughter you know she shouldn't believe everything a guy says
07:13she probably gets that from me i think i've dated every liar in chicago
07:17it's hard to believe it's hard to believe you know that's the first time a man has ever been honest with me
07:30you like that huh
07:32yeah thank you i'm sally
07:36it's nice to meet you sally
07:38you know from this point on i won't really be listening to you i'll just be imagining what you're like in bed
07:44you really do go right for it don't you yeah
07:48do you want to have dinner sometime i'd rather just go to my apartment and knock it out but yeah we could eat first
07:54no se quedan a dormir más
07:59i didn't keep you up
08:01no
08:02pero no querÃan salir de los baños
08:04tuve que ir y usar el de cris
08:05no está bien tiene más productos de cabello que una mujer
08:10hey you hey emma's just getting her stuff together you have any coffee on yes i do
08:22uh you know zoe was telling me emma has a birthday coming up instead of buying her a store-bought cake
08:29how about you and emma come by the restaurant sunday morning and we'll uh we'll make one together
08:33oh that would be great but i can't sunday i teach strip aerobics
08:38that's a great idea the one thing i hate is a stripper that has to take a knee no don't make
08:46fun it's really good for your butt feel how hard that is i'm serious just try it don't be afraid
08:53mom give your butt a rest
08:58i am proud of my body emma i work hard for it but remember what we decided you're taking a break from
09:03dating oh don't worry about it emma we're just talking about exercise it's no dating
09:08you can't date it's a long story but unless emma's comfortable with it i can't
09:19i'm sorry how's monday for the cake yeah monday's great okay thanks for the coffee
09:25bye bye damn were you actually going to feel her butt
09:38she asked me to i couldn't say no she's a guest in our house
09:44hey what did emma mean she can't date anyway caitlin's last few boyfriends were jerks so emma
09:50made her promise to take a break all right well that's not fair i'm not a jerk hey help me convince
09:57emma i'm a good guy so she'll let me date her mom how do you know her mom wants to date you
10:02she presented her bottom to me i mean you've seen the animal channel do i really have to explain this
10:11come on you could be my wingman really that sounds cool so what exactly does wingman do
10:17you talk a player up look tell her how humble and how smart i am don't worry i'll think of something
10:33okay now the original recipe calls for three quarters of a cup of flour but there's gonna
10:39be like 20 kids there so we need to double that so how much flour do we need i don't know a thousand
10:46yeah i don't know either you know let's try a thousand if it's too much we'll just add some water
10:53smart hey how's it going great dude sally loves it when i tell her the truth i'm gonna
11:01see how long i can ride this honesty thing well my money's on right up until it prevents you from
11:06getting sex you're good uh is emma in a good mood yeah she's pretty good yeah just so you know i'm
11:18really flattered if you can get emma to be cool with this dating i'd love to go out with you you
11:23know you gotta stop making deals with your kid okay i mean look i mean i'm no parent but i say you either
11:29pay him or beat him how's it going with that batter girls great i was just telling emma that
11:38when you stir a batter you're so strong that the lumps come right out
11:46thank you zoe and he's really funny watch he's gonna be funny
11:50something else you know if my mother wasn't your sister i'd be thrilled for you to go out with her
12:04that's incest that's disgusting
12:08what are you two talking about all right look emma i know you don't want your mom dating jerks but i want
12:15to go out with her i'm a good person i donate blood last thanksgiving i volunteered at the homeless
12:22shelter i recycle i'm kind i rewind he let me and my mom and grandma and crazy and allison live with
12:30him that's right that's right you have no idea how nice that is all right look i'll give you 50 bucks
12:38if you let me go with your mom no way i'll be your best friend i'll be your best friend are you
12:47mocking me are you mocking me god you're annoying oh god you're annoying don't do that don't do that
12:53quit it ready's a jerk you see it only works with two people sorry okay one date well thank you
13:06thank you emma and don't worry i will not tell your mom you begged me to ask her out
13:11i did not oh you're a witness zoe she struck me i'm not afraid of you
13:17oh emma stop hitting yourself stop it stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself
13:23you're dead
13:30i don't know what she said to emma last night but she couldn't stop talking about you
13:35hey you know just because you're playing me with alcohol does not mean this is our date
13:40i mean we could still make out but i'm really just here to help chaperone the party
13:47what's up so emma sent me up for soda
13:52are you okay sure
13:57hey hey hey look i know you're probably not thrilled that i'm chaperoning the party because
14:02i can be a little overprotective but don't worry i won't come downstairs as long as you guys keep
14:07the door open and the lights on much better thank you oh thanks you know i'm actually glad your uncle
14:20wants to date my mom he's awesome maybe if you leave them alone long enough they'll fall in love and then
14:26if they got married he would just be your uncle be my dad that wouldn't be good he's got like 90
14:32girlfriends and i think he might have killed one you're being weird oh mandy don't turn that up i
14:45promised my mom would keep it down no no turn it up i'll just go close the door to the basement oh
14:50that's that's okay we'll just keep it down now i want to close the door
15:00i can't believe you need to rehydrate after first space i don't know how you're gonna make it home
15:09come on oh man somebody shut the door oh they just need a little privacy ready it's fine the lights are
15:16on that's worse okay at their age they don't know where anything is light makes it easier to find
15:23stuff you sure are cute when you're worried yeah but you know i'm really sure the lights are on everything's
15:32fine
15:37relax they obviously don't care that we shut the door
15:41well they're not coming down let's make this a real party
15:49stop it gilbert i'm bigger than you
15:54oh that's it someone shut the lights off we ought to go down there oh freddie i promised emma i wouldn't
15:59go downstairs what's the worst they could be doing what did you do when you were a teenager
16:04i'm not the best example but emma knows to stop at second base okay look i don't want zoe in the
16:15stands eating popcorn watching the game freddie you have to learn to trust zoe the way that i trust emma
16:24we're not just mother and daughter we're best friends if anything happens she always tells me after
16:29okay okay let's just let's just see how after works out okay hi mom guess what last night i had
16:40sex with a bunch of guys in a stolen car night now let's show before works out hey mom is it okay if i
16:49no
16:54uh-huh yeah all right look guys you need to keep the lights on down here whatever as soon as you leave
17:03they're going right back off and close the door behind you excuse me you heard me oh okay you know
17:11what i think we ought to go fine fine by the way odds are someone in this room has mono have fun
17:30well thanks for a fantastic evening yeah let's be honest it was just okay
17:37i mean you know the movie was weak the food was bland the sex was pretty uninspired yeah you're
17:44right and the conversation was pretty boring oh true oh and that new cologne you're wearing kind
17:50of early yeah yeah no i've sort of been on the fence about that are you putting on a little weight
17:55hit the road sally
17:59i uh never really want to see you again but i thought we were being honest no no i was being
18:04honest um apparently i can dish it out but i can't take it
18:11so uh spy oh by the way uh your name sally it's from like 1950.
18:21look the only reason i came down there is because the lights were off believe me i didn't want to i
18:27was perfectly fine staying up there with caitlin yeah i'll bet you were surprised you even noticed i
18:32turned the lights off you turned the lights off no you just said you did all right i did why would
18:42you do that you let me blame emma she's a good kid yeah you're right she's great i'm horrible i
18:48shouldn't have tried to keep you and her mom apart you should just marry caitlin and then emma can be
18:52your daughter and you can do everything with her instead of me what it's okay i'll be fine
18:57i'll spend more time with grandma i'll spend more time with grandma she keeps asking me to brush her
19:03hair until she falls asleep
19:05first of all don't worry okay i won't let you suffer the way your mother and i did forget grandma
19:22and second i'm not gonna marry emma's mom tonight i realized we are not right for each other really yeah
19:30really from now on i really shouldn't date anyone who's less mature than you
19:37well i'm pretty mature
19:41well good then you should know that nothing nothing can ever change our relationship
19:49and even someday when i do get married and and have kids you'd always be very special to me
19:57i will yeah you know of all the women that have invaded my space
20:04i like you the best well because i take up the least amount of room that's part of it
20:12but you know what i'm still wondering what well i'm wondering why
20:19after after everything you've been through tonight why ew what's that on your hand what
20:26oh
20:34sorry
20:36ven mamita ven
20:38vamos necesito irme a dormir
20:46looking good
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