- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't chew on that, don't chew on that.
00:08Don't chew on that, Kyle. Give it to Daddy. Give it to Daddy. Kyle, Kyle, Kyle, come here, baby.
00:15I love you. Give me the card. Give it.
00:19Let go. Kyle, this is my Ernie Banks rookie card. Ernie Banks, number 14, Mr. Cub.
00:37Don't cry. Don't cry. I love you. I love you. Here, here, here, here, here, here.
00:44Roop Walker. See? Lifetime, 227. Eat him.
01:14Whoa. You don't get up from that one.
01:22What happened to his leg?
01:26It's like a starfish. It'll grow back.
01:30All right, Jim. Damn. What are you watching?
01:34Oh, my God. Jim, this is Saving Private Ryan.
01:39The girls can't watch this.
01:44Are you kidding? They can't take their eyes off it.
01:47Logan, they guys are going full.
01:51Okay, you're handling the nightmares on this one.
01:54Hey, didn't happen for Hellraiser. It's not going to happen tonight.
01:59Hellraiser, yay!
02:01Yeah!
02:03All right, all right.
02:04Well, we're going to the podiatrist to get Dana's creepy, weird toenail removed.
02:08Oh, good move, Dana. I think that's why you're still single.
02:13Now, wait. It's your personality.
02:17What's wrong?
02:18One last chance to say goodbye.
02:19Oh, come on.
02:20Come on. His name is Jim.
02:22No.
02:25All right, here's the stuff for the park.
02:27I pack toys, diapers, and wipes.
02:30Yeah, and there's stuff in there for the kids, too.
02:34That's great, freak toe.
02:36We'll have fun at the park.
02:39We will. We love the park. We have fun at the park.
02:47Where's the park?
02:51Outside.
02:52I don't even know what I'm going to ride.
03:06I don't even know what I'm going to ride.
03:06Oh, boy.
03:17This is the kind of day that makes a fellow want to kick off his shoes and run barefoot through the grass.
03:25Why don't you do it over there?
03:27That guy just let his dog pee.
03:29Hey, girls.
03:35Which is on the swing?
03:37Oh, we could do that.
03:39Or, you could run around and I'll sit here and throw grapes at you.
03:47Swing!
03:48All right, darling.
03:53Jim, the ice cream guy's here. What's your pleasure?
03:56You know, I got a piece of calamari.
04:00It's an ice cream truck. They don't have calamari.
04:04I don't care where you get it.
04:05All right, my little girls.
04:10Up, boys.
04:14You want me to sing?
04:15Sing, silly Sally.
04:17Sing, silly Sally. All right.
04:20Silly Sally, what you do today?
04:23Silly Sally, what you do today?
04:27Did you comb your hair with a...
04:29Pineapple!
04:32Comb your hair with a pineapple! Oh, boy!
04:36Oh, boy.
04:40Silly Sally.
04:42Hi, Hannah! Hi, Emily!
04:44Can we go play with them?
04:45Uh, yeah, okay.
04:48Just don't go too far away.
04:49I want to be able to see you.
04:50Yay!
04:55Oh, girls, you can go farther than that.
05:00What? I can't hear you!
05:03Perfect!
05:05Hey, Jim.
05:08Hi.
05:08I'm Sandy, Hannah's mother.
05:10Oh.
05:11Yeah, and this is Leslie, Emily's mom.
05:13You met her at Chuck E. Cheese at the triplets party, remember?
05:16Suki, Carrie, and Chloe.
05:17And this is Carol.
05:18She's Caitlin's mom.
05:19She's also got Linda and Kelly with her today.
05:22You know, baby's kids who you met at the other hand in mom's house.
05:26I'm not going to be tested on this, am I?
05:28Oh, if you were mine, I'd never let you out of the house.
05:34Oh, I'd find a way.
05:36I bet these foot doctors make a lot of money.
05:50What a racket.
05:52My God.
05:54It's starting to sound like Jim.
05:55I wonder what's wrong with that guy's foot.
06:01Planners for it, I bet.
06:03Ugh.
06:05I don't know.
06:07I wonder if these people think I have something wrong with my feet.
06:11Just kick my shoes off so they'll see that I'm normal.
06:15Oh, no.
06:17There's a hole in my sock.
06:19Abort!
06:20Abort!
06:31It's quick.
06:32What happened?
06:33He didn't even do the procedure.
06:35Right after he anesthetized my toe, he got called away on an emergency.
06:40Hey, check this out.
06:41Hey, full leg.
06:45Numb.
06:48What are you doing?
06:49Calling Jim.
06:50Tell him we're on the way home.
06:51Are you kidding?
06:52We have a whole afternoon.
06:54Oh, Dana, it's laundry day.
06:55Jim's down to his Christmas boxers.
06:58Come on, we need a break.
07:01We could go see a movie.
07:04A movie on laundry day?
07:08That's so naughty.
07:09Hey!
07:10Can we get popcorn?
07:12Oh, yeah.
07:12And no sharing?
07:14Oh, yeah.
07:15Sneak in without paying.
07:19Cheryl, we're gonna pay.
07:22Okay.
07:24But we're still bad.
07:26Oh, yeah.
07:31Oh!
07:34And that's why I'm no longer welcome in the state of Florida.
07:37Hey, where are my girls?
07:46Oh, they're over by the slide with Penelope and Nancy and Bridget and Suzanne.
07:52Hey, girls, come on.
07:54Let's go.
07:54Time to go.
07:55Oh, not so soon.
07:58Oh, thank you.
08:00Come on.
08:01The fun is over.
08:02All right, I promise Cheryl I'll do some work around the house.
08:04Hey, but you work hard all week.
08:07Tell me about it.
08:09Well, you know, you should always work a little harder at home than you do on your job.
08:16You know who said that?
08:18Michael Landon.
08:19Oh!
08:19Hey, girls.
08:23Do we have to go, Daddy?
08:25Yes, we have to go.
08:27Come on, girls.
08:27Get your stuff together.
08:28Andy, you want to pick up and put together that buggy?
08:32We want to stay.
08:33Please?
08:35You want some cheese with that wine?
08:37Yes.
08:39Come on, girls.
08:40We got to go home.
08:41Why don't you let us take them for the afternoon?
08:43I mean, we can go to lunch, and then the girls can play together.
08:47I don't know.
08:47This is supposed to be our day together.
08:49Oh, well, all right.
08:51But what the heck?
08:52Oh.
08:53Well, I'll have them home by dinner.
08:56Or July.
08:57Whatever.
09:01Oh, where did Cheryl find you?
09:04Oh, I don't know.
09:05The perfect store?
09:08Oh, this is so much fun.
09:10I know.
09:10Oh, Martin Lawrence in Medieval Times.
09:13How can you lose?
09:15I hope he's sassy in this one.
09:17Oh.
09:20Hey.
09:21What?
09:23That guy just stepped on your foot.
09:26Really?
09:27No.
09:29That's going to hurt later.
09:34What are you doing?
09:35I'm just going to check in with Jim real quick.
09:37Cheryl.
09:38Bad girls don't check in with their husbands.
09:40Oh.
09:41Yeah.
09:47Oh, man.
09:49Who brings a baby to a movie?
09:51You relax.
09:52I'll take care of it.
09:53Oh.
09:58Or you better do it.
09:59Excuse me, would you please keep your baby quiet?
10:04Yeah, well, why don't you be quiet?
10:10Hi, Cheryl.
10:11What are you doing here?
10:25What are you doing here?
10:30Where are the girls?
10:31They're in a friend's house.
10:33Sarah's.
10:36Cheryl, my hair is stuck to the floor.
10:39All right.
10:42One, two.
10:44Ah!
10:47Oh, hey, Jim.
10:54Hey, Dana.
10:54You got a little something right here.
10:58Up, up, up, up, up.
11:00You got it.
11:01You got it.
11:02You got it.
11:02What are you doing here?
11:06You're supposed to be at the doctor.
11:08Well, it got rescheduled, so we came here.
11:11Oh, why?
11:12You thought you got away with it, huh?
11:14I got away with what?
11:16Jim, I think I deserve a little free time every few months.
11:20Cheryl, you have six hours of free time every day.
11:24Just because you choose to use it sleepy, not my fault.
11:31Wait a minute.
11:33The girls don't have a friend, Sarah.
11:36There's a mom, Sarah, who has a daughter, Julia.
11:39Julia.
11:39Yeah.
11:40Julia.
11:41Oh, Jim.
11:43I don't like the girls playing with Julia.
11:45She's a spitter.
11:48And, you know, she talks back to her mom, and the girls do it to me.
11:51It takes me a week to break them of it.
11:53Hey, Cheryl.
11:55Hey.
11:55I just ran into Dana in the lobby.
11:58What is it about Martin Lawrence that brings families together?
12:05Dude, where's my car?
12:08What?
12:10I'm answering the trivia question.
12:14Jim, look, I'm sorry, but you've got to go get the girls.
12:17I won't be able to relax knowing there are Julia's.
12:21All right, all right.
12:24But you owe me one.
12:25No, I don't.
12:26Well, somebody owes me one.
12:28Actually, you owe me $5 for the popcorn.
12:31Benicio Del Toro!
12:33I'm on fire!
12:38All right, Cheryl, I'll do it.
12:40Just tell me where she lives.
12:42Oh, it's a little gray house on the corner of Pine and Oakhurst.
12:46Oh, thank you, honey.
12:48All right.
12:50Devil and Mrs. Jones!
12:55Come on, Andy.
12:56Let's go pick up the girls.
12:57What about the movie?
12:59The previews are starting.
13:00Come on!
13:01In a future where women are forbidden to wear clothes and beer is money,
13:08one long car chase will change the lives of three supermodels and one tough cop.
13:15Steven Seagal is back!
13:22I am so there!
13:26And you're a big one!
13:34Silly, sally, what am I singing this song for?
13:38Popcorn.
13:41Popcorn.
13:42Eh, it's a little dry.
13:46Thirsty.
13:47Me too.
13:51Oh.
14:03And, um...
14:05Yeah, sure.
14:08Oh, I'm sorry.
14:10Come on.
14:11I'm sorry.
14:12You want to do it?
14:14Come on.
14:15I'll give you...
14:16I'm so sorry.
14:18You're a jerk.
14:19I'm a jerk.
14:20Oh, hey, come on!
14:21You don't say it to my baby like that, a jerk!
14:25Hey!
14:26Hi!
14:27Hi.
14:29I'm here, Sarah.
14:31I know that.
14:32I'm Jim.
14:35And this is water.
14:37We were a little thirsty.
14:39Oh, Ruby and Gracie are my kids.
14:41I'm Andy, the uncle.
14:44We're here to pick them up.
14:45Yeah, um...
14:46They're not here.
14:51Where are they?
14:54How should I know?
14:54I'm going to close the door now.
15:08You don't know where your kids are.
15:10Jim, maybe you should just call up Cheryl and tell you you lost the girls.
15:23After 26 hours of labor and two episiotomies, I don't think so.
15:29What are we going to do now, huh?
15:30What are we going to do?
15:33Hey, Cheryl's got to have an address book, right?
15:35Look at that.
15:36Ah, no, she always carries it with her.
15:39Ruby's got an address book.
15:42She's always writing in it.
15:44All we need is one little girl's name.
15:46We could find her.
15:47Look around here somewhere.
15:50A mess.
15:51Hello, hello, hello.
15:56Mommy, Daddy, Barney, Elmo.
16:04Oh, here we go.
16:05Emily.
16:05Great, great, great, great.
16:07Give me the number.
16:09555-0174.
16:13Great.
16:15386-5511W.
16:21Then she drew a kitty.
16:27My daughter's an idiot.
16:29Jim, think, think.
16:31Can't you remember anything that woman said?
16:33All I remember is,
16:35Yammer, yammer, yammer, I'll take the kids.
16:39Maybe we should go back to the park.
16:41Let's go to the park.
16:42Maybe someone's still there.
16:45Oh, God, I hope it's...
16:47What's her name?
16:48Yellow.
16:51Hey.
16:53How is everything?
16:55Okay.
16:57Cheryl.
16:59Everything's fine, Cheryl.
17:01Cheryl.
17:07Hey, I just wanted to find out if the girls had a good time.
17:10Are you checking up on me?
17:13Well, maybe a little.
17:15The girls are fine.
17:17They're playing with Uncle Andy.
17:22Please stop copying me.
17:24Please stop copying me.
17:25I mean it.
17:26I mean it.
17:26I'm telling you.
17:27I'm telling you.
17:28I'm going to get you.
17:31So fun.
17:34What?
17:34What?
17:35What?
17:35He just said the king's daughter's a freak.
17:41Black Knight is so busted.
17:44I've got to go.
17:46I'm going to tickle you.
17:47I'm going to tickle you.
17:49Oh, you tickled me.
17:51Oh, my God.
17:52Oh, my God.
17:54There's so much cooler than I did.
17:58You're cooler than Harry Potter.
18:00Are you done?
18:08Are you sure?
18:09Hey, Jim, I just thought of something.
18:37What if, while we're here, that woman's dropping the kids off at the house?
18:41Ah, don't worry about it. I left a note.
18:43No one home, leave kids in the backyard.
18:48Now, there.
18:50She looks familiar.
18:52She's short.
18:54Hi.
18:56Hey.
18:58Well, aren't you a pretty little girl?
19:01Can I ask you a question?
19:02I don't think she's going to talk.
19:10I bet she would for some candy.
19:14We should run.
19:27What time is it?
19:29It's 5.32.
19:31Do you know where your children are?
19:35Andy, that is not funny.
19:37Yeah, I know.
19:41Can't believe that woman hasn't brought those kids home.
19:44She's so irresponsible.
19:49Well, I hope that's the kids.
19:52Nope, nope.
19:53That's Cheryl.
19:54Okay.
19:55All right, just remember the plan.
19:57We didn't have a plan.
19:58Right.
20:00Act casual.
20:01What are you guys doing?
20:18Just, you know, casually reading.
20:23Well, he's reading.
20:25He's reading to me.
20:29I think that's good for today.
20:31Yeah, we can pick up tomorrow, huh?
20:35So, Cheryl, how was your day off?
20:38Oh, honey, it was great.
20:40Thank you so much.
20:41That was just the best gift you could have given me.
20:43Oh, you're welcome.
20:44Hey, the feeling of my foot's coming back.
20:47Ow!
20:50Girls, mom!
20:51No, Cheryl!
20:54The girls are being punished.
20:56You were so right about that, Julia.
20:58She is a bad one.
21:01You know what the girls called me when they came home?
21:07Fatty poopy pants.
21:12Then they broke the lamp.
21:13See, this is exactly what I was afraid of.
21:20I'm going to go talk to them right now.
21:21Okay, you go on up there, but you're just going to undermine all my good work.
21:26And I am not going to take responsibility when they grow up and become strippers.
21:30Hey, I got a better idea.
21:36Why don't you two girls continue your relaxing day at a nice dinner on by?
21:42What, you're paying for my dinner?
21:46Yeah.
21:48I love you.
21:49Oh!
21:52Oh, my God.
21:54What have you done?
21:55Where are my kids?
22:02Cheryl, I resent that.
22:04They're not just your kids.
22:06They're my kids, too.
22:08Well, I...
22:08And I don't know where they are.
22:12What are you saying?
22:14Have you lost my kids?
22:16Well, of course not.
22:18They are being cared for by a responsible adult, a friend of yours.
22:23I just don't know her name or where she lives.
22:27But what we've been able to determine is that she's not Asian.
22:31Right.
22:33Oh!
22:34Oh!
22:35I can't believe you don't know where they are.
22:37I bet if they were a box of snack cakes, he'd know exactly where they are.
22:43What are you doing?
22:44I'm going to call and call until I find them.
22:47Hi, Maggie!
22:49Cheryl, good work.
22:50Oh, hello.
22:54I'm so glad to see you.
22:56Oh, Sandy.
22:59I hope the girls had fun playing with Hannah.
23:05Sandy and Hannah!
23:10That's a ring of bell.
23:13Come here, my girls.
23:16Thanks, Daddy.
23:18We had the bestest time ever.
23:20We have fun, don't we?
23:22Girls, why don't you run up and watch up for dinner?
23:25Oh, come on.
23:25I'll take you.
23:26All right.
23:27So, Jim, they're going to be with me, your sister-in-law, Dana.
23:35Upstairs.
23:37Oh, Grace's jacket's in the car.
23:39I'll get it.
23:40Oh, thank you.
23:42Thanks so much, Sandy.
23:44What?
23:45What?
23:46What?
23:50Why don't you look at me like that?
23:53Come on, don't be upset with me.
23:55I had a very rough day.
23:59You know that Silly Sally song?
24:01Twelve verses I had to sing.
24:03Okay.
24:04So, so, the one day I take off in six months, and you lose the girls?
24:13If you say it like that, of course it's going to sound bad.
24:18What?
24:18Honey, you know me.
24:20I do.
24:20You know how hard it is for me to take time off.
24:24I mean, I suppose that I can just never leave the kids with you again.
24:28Is that what you want?
24:29Yeah, Cheryl.
24:30That'd be your call.
24:32I know.
24:34Who knows you?
24:34What?
24:35You are not getting off that easy.
24:37No, no, no.
24:37I am going to go to a movie again, and you are going to take care of the kids again.
24:42And if you have to lose them five or six more times to get it right, so be it.
24:47I can do that.
24:53Here you go.
24:55Oh, oh, thank you so much.
24:58Hey, do you want a cup of coffee?
25:00Oh, I'd love one.
25:00Oh, great.
25:01Oh, did you hear what happened at the park today?
25:03No.
25:04Two strange men were offering candy to a little girl.
25:07No.
25:08Yes.
25:09Yes, but don't worry, because the parents got a pretty good description of the vehicle.
25:14Oh.
25:17I should probably sell my car.
25:31Yep.
25:31I should probably sell my car.
25:34Oh, my God.
25:34Oh, my God.
25:35Oh, my God.
25:36Oh, my God.
25:37Oh, my God.
25:38Oh, my God.
25:39Oh, my God.
25:39Oh, my God.
25:40Oh, my God.
25:40Oh, my God.
25:40Oh, my God.
25:40Oh, my God.
25:40Oh, my God.
25:41Oh, my God.
25:41Oh, my God.
25:41Oh, my God.
25:41Oh, my God.
25:42Oh, my God.
25:42Oh, my God.
25:43Oh, my God.
25:44Oh, my God.
25:44Oh, my God.
25:45Oh, my God.
25:46Oh, my God.
25:47Oh, my God.
25:48Oh, my God.
25:49Oh, my God.
25:50Oh, my God.
25:51Oh, my God.
25:52Oh, my God.
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