- 2 days ago
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00Adam, let's get a fire under table 16.
00:02It's going out next.
00:03Great idea, Freddy.
00:04Maybe if we both yell at the shrimp, they'll cook faster.
00:08Chef, a customer sent back the osabuco.
00:10Why?
00:11I don't know. She only spoke Spanish.
00:14Grandma.
00:17Okay. What's wrong with this?
00:19Mucho romero?
00:20Parece que estuviera comiendo un árbol de Navidad.
00:24Well, Merry Christmas.
00:26Eat it.
00:28Come on, Freddy. Be nice.
00:30We're here to celebrate Allison's decision to stop drinking before noon and start looking for a job.
00:36Hey, wait a minute. That's not fair. I was loaded when I agreed to that.
00:41I can't wait till I'm old enough to have a job.
00:44Me neither.
00:48Chef, nobody's ordering dessert again.
00:51Sophia, people still aren't ordering desserts. It's been like this for two weeks.
00:55I know. Bob didn't even order tonight.
00:58And he's wearing his eating pants.
01:06Alrighty, Bob.
01:08I know what a big fan you are of my dessert.
01:10So, what'll it be tonight?
01:12Cappuccino cheesecake?
01:14The creme brulee?
01:15The tiramisu?
01:16Oh, I don't think I have room.
01:19Come on, Bob. You're wearing your eating pants.
01:22All right, what the hell is going on here?
01:25I'm seeing someone else for desserts.
01:27I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to happen. It just did.
01:32Who is it?
01:32The roses, the new bakery down the block.
01:36Freddie, I...
01:36Don't.
01:39Just don't.
01:43Yo, Chris, I need you to take a walk with me down to the bakery.
01:46You're not going to whack me, are you?
01:52If I was going to whack you, I wouldn't do it myself.
01:55I'd hire some hot blonde to slip something in your drink.
01:58And then, if you passed out, I'd have a couple goons drag you out to old McCormick's down by the lake
02:03and make you snack on the business end of a 45.
02:06Now, can we go?
02:17I'm on to you.
02:19You're still going home with me, but I'm on to you.
02:29This girl's stealing all our customers.
02:31Whatever happened to Boyle?
02:34You know what?
02:34We should ban all these people from our restaurant.
02:39Yeah.
02:40Yeah, that's what we need.
02:41Less business.
02:43Thanks, Rose.
02:47That's Rose?
02:48Dude, owning a bakery, you'd think she'd be huge.
02:52You know what?
02:53She could be sloppy from the counter down.
02:56Dude.
02:57Don't be like that.
03:00Check it out.
03:04We're good.
03:12Okay.
03:14Fixing this dessert problem is going to be easier than I thought.
03:17You might want to back up a little bit.
03:19I'm taking my charm up to level 10.
03:22Freddy, no.
03:23Not 10.
03:24Excuse me, Rose.
03:30Hi, I'm Freddy.
03:31I'm Freddy Moreno.
03:32I saw your picture in Sunday's food section.
03:34Hi, I'm Chris.
03:36I'm a substantial investor in Freddy's place.
03:38Are these free?
03:39Talk yourself.
03:40It's really nice of you to stop by.
03:43So many of my customers talk about your restaurant.
03:45Yeah.
03:46Yeah, I recognize some of them.
03:49How's that cannoli treating you there, Bob?
03:52It's good, all right.
03:54I said it.
03:55Let's just stop hurting each other.
03:59I'm sorry.
04:01I thought if anyone could make it work, it was you and Bob.
04:03It's fine.
04:05We, we kid each other.
04:07There's room for two good places to get dessert on this street.
04:11Dude, it's like there's a choir of angels in my mouth.
04:17Hey, maybe there's a way we can help each other out.
04:20How about I buy you desserts at cost and serve them in my restaurant?
04:25You mean it, Mr. Moreno?
04:27Ain't no one's ever come in here and tried to help me before.
04:33Can I get one of those eclairs?
04:36Come on.
04:37I mean, having your little snacks served in a place like mine could put you on the mat.
04:41Oh, my little snacks.
04:43How's that eclair, Chris?
04:44I hate everything I've eaten in my life up until this point.
04:49No, don't take this the wrong way.
04:51Oh, I'm not.
04:52You're condescending and egotistical.
04:54Typical chef.
04:56Oh.
04:56So you're an expert on chefs?
04:58I studied Escoffier at the Culinary Institute in Paris.
05:02Why?
05:03Couldn't get into a decent school in the States?
05:07Excuse me, are there more apple tarts coming out?
05:09Come on, man!
05:12Look, being a chef, it's a nice little skill to have, but we both know that baking's an art.
05:18So why don't we just agree to disagree?
05:20No way.
05:21I mean, I definitely disagree, but I do not agree to disagree.
05:27What?
05:27What?
05:30Come on, Chris.
05:30We're getting out of here.
05:32All right.
05:33Right behind you, pal.
05:35Those apple tarts are ready.
05:37Chris.
05:40Freddie, I'm sorry, but you're not flaky with a delightful fruit filling.
05:45When I was a little boy, I was about to hate you five.
05:56My mother felt me greater than male life.
06:02Now I'm a man.
06:05Now I'm a man.
06:06Well, here's my new resume.
06:23And I think you'll find it pretty impressive.
06:25Wow, I didn't know you went to Harvard.
06:28I did.
06:29I passed out there one night after a Red Sox game.
06:34But isn't that lying?
06:35No, really.
06:36I was out cold.
06:38I meant if you didn't go to college there, isn't it lying to put on your resume?
06:42Oh, Zoe, honey, let me teach you something my mother taught me.
06:48You should never lie.
06:50Unless it gets you something.
06:54Huh?
06:55Okay, run off and play.
07:00Hey, sweetie, what you doing?
07:02I'm gonna go watch some TV.
07:04Did you finish your homework?
07:05Yes, I did.
07:07All right, then you've earned your TV time.
07:13Look, I'm sorry I lied.
07:14I don't want to go to hell.
07:15I didn't do my homework, and this morning your waffles weren't delicious.
07:18I'm sorry.
07:22Hola, Freddie.
07:23Oh, great.
07:25More women.
07:27I'm going to my room.
07:28I'm going to see Tara Reid's program.
07:30Hey, that girl is a shock of trains.
07:34So what's your problem with women this time?
07:36They talk too much.
07:38They cry too much.
07:39Why aren't they all naked?
07:41No, we went and talked to Rose.
07:44That girl who's taken all our dessert business, she really annoyed me.
07:48She thinks baking is an art, and cooking is something monkeys can do.
07:52Oh, I saw a show on Animal Planet where they had monkeys making shrimp scampi.
07:56They're so cute.
08:00Oh, God.
08:03She called me egotistical.
08:05I'm not egotistical.
08:07I just happen to be a very good judge of how great I am.
08:09And then, and then, she starts throwing around her credentials of how she studied in France.
08:15I could have gone to school in France.
08:17I thought they turned you down.
08:19That's why I said I could have gone.
08:21Well, you know, Freddie, I've never seen you like this.
08:23That's because I've never met a woman who made me this crazy.
08:26So when are you going to ask her out?
08:29What?
08:30It's obvious you're into her.
08:32Are you even listening to me?
08:34Yes, that's how I know you're into her.
08:36If you didn't care about her, you wouldn't be this worked up.
08:38I am not worked up.
08:40Okay, I, I may be sweating a little bit and my hands are shaking, but I am definitely not worked up.
08:45Okay, okay, I got it.
08:51Roses, plastic.
08:52Oh, good work, man.
08:54I gotta figure out this recipe.
08:59What the hell happened to the other half?
09:02It was a long walk.
09:06Ready?
09:08Oh, oh, hey, hi.
09:10I was just eating something delicious that I made.
09:12I came by to say I'm sorry.
09:18Are you suffering?
09:21Well, maybe just a nibble.
09:26Hmm.
09:29It's not bad.
09:32And by the way, I've eaten here before, and your food is wonderful.
09:38You know, it's a lot better than I thought.
09:42Look, how about this?
09:44I will sell you my desserts at a fair price, and you give me credit on your menu.
09:49What do you say?
09:53I say deal.
09:55You know, I would love to sit down sometime and, and hear all about Paris.
10:01Oh, you would love it there.
10:02To the French food, it's like a religious experience.
10:04Oh, you know, speaking of religious experiences, what is this taste I'm getting in your eclair filling?
10:12Deliciousness.
10:13Hmm.
10:14Or something tropical.
10:19It's coconut rum.
10:20Oh, my God.
10:22You can't tell anyone.
10:23Or what?
10:23Or I'll tell people you put chervil in your bouillabaisse.
10:25Well played.
10:30You know, we don't have to talk about Paris here.
10:34Why don't we grab some coffee after work?
10:37Hey, guys.
10:38How's it going?
10:39It's going well.
10:40In fact, it's going very well.
10:42Good.
10:43Yeah.
10:43Oh, he liked your idea, Chris.
10:45Oh.
10:47What idea?
10:48About giving me credit on the menu.
10:49Yeah, after you got all huffy and you stormed out of Rose's place last night.
10:52I didn't get all huffy.
10:56Anyway, we got to talking and I came up with the compromise.
11:02Grant, everybody wins.
11:05We better get going if we're going to catch that movie.
11:07Oh, okay.
11:08And, uh, maybe we could have dinner here tonight.
11:11No, I'm a little sick of this place.
11:19Ow.
11:25Ow.
11:25Ow.
11:27Ow.
11:29Hey.
11:30Hey.
11:31I made some lasagna last night and brought you some leftovers.
11:37I haven't seen you in a while.
11:39Ah, I know.
11:40I've just been really busy with Rose.
11:42I haven't seen her in, like, a week.
11:44How's that going?
11:45Good.
11:46You know, it's our one-week anniversary.
11:48Gayest thing you ever said.
11:53You know, if-if liking Rose makes me gay, then-then I'm gay.
11:58I'm not gay.
12:00Look at this.
12:02Give her this diamond bracelet.
12:04Uh, oh.
12:06I got her the cutest stuffed animal.
12:08It's a puppy with the googly eyes.
12:10Okay.
12:12New gayest thing you ever said.
12:14Whatever.
12:15Fine.
12:15I'm gay.
12:16Dude, I'm not gay.
12:18I'm telling you, man.
12:19I think this thing with Rose could really go somewhere.
12:22Really?
12:23Absolutely.
12:23I-I can't even imagine what the sex is gonna be like with her.
12:27So you two haven't slept together?
12:29Wait, what?
12:29Is she giving you the old Heisman?
12:31No, no, no.
12:32We, uh, we talked about it, and, uh, I agreed to wait.
12:38Sorry, that sounded like English, but I just don't understand.
12:42I'm telling you, man, I-I don't miss the sex.
12:45This is the first relationship I've ever had where late-night softcore, my dirty magazine collection,
12:50and the sex shop down the street are enough for me.
12:52Well, if that isn't already a greeting card, it should be.
13:00Are you ready?
13:02I'm ready.
13:03Okay, here I come.
13:05Oh, wow.
13:10That looks really great.
13:12Uh, but it might not be appropriate for the business world.
13:15Unless the business involves loud music and a brass pole.
13:19Okay, Sophia, you have to look hot in public relations, okay?
13:23You're in medical school.
13:24You only have to look better than sick people.
13:25Hey.
13:30Okay, you were right.
13:32I'm into Rose, so you can just stop gloating.
13:35All I said was, hey.
13:36It was your tone.
13:38The problem is, Chris is dating her, and he's talking like it's serious.
13:41Why is that a problem?
13:43You should be happy for your friend.
13:43You should be happy for your friend.
13:45What planet are you from, woman?
13:48Look, you know, Chris, he's just gonna get bored and start looking at other women.
13:52It's just a matter of time.
13:53Freddie.
13:54Rose and I make each other laugh.
13:56We're both passionate about food.
13:58I mean, we're perfect for each other.
14:00Stop.
14:01Hey, you're just trying to give yourself an excuse to do the wrong thing.
14:04Ah, no.
14:05Don't think I have it yet, but I'm getting close.
14:09Freddie, I've got an emergency.
14:10My dad just called, and I've got to meet him right now and sign some papers,
14:13or my trust fund will be in jeopardy.
14:15You know, Chris, losing your trust fund wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
14:18You know, you could get a job and see how good it feels to work hard and accomplish something.
14:21Sophia, I don't have time for jokes.
14:24Listen, I'm supposed to take Rose to a friend's art exhibit in a half an hour.
14:29Here's her address.
14:29Could you pick her up for me?
14:31Yeah, sure.
14:33I'll take care of Rose.
14:38Get a job.
14:39That's funny.
14:41Maybe then I'll pay taxes.
14:50What?
14:52I'm just being a good friend.
14:54Even if you're tempted, you know you can't act on it.
14:57I won't.
14:58And you can't sabotage Chris.
14:59I won't.
15:01And you can't feel charming and sexy.
15:03Hey, if you know some magical way to turn this off, I'm all ears.
15:07Thanks for coming with me, Freddy.
15:18Hope I didn't screw up any plans.
15:19I didn't have any plans.
15:21Besides, I happen to be a real art lover.
15:25My friend Sarah creates her art from real-life sexual experiences.
15:28So, I'm guessing this one didn't go too well.
15:35Rose, hi.
15:36Hey, Sarah.
15:38Hey.
15:39Sarah, I want you to meet someone.
15:40Oh, well, this must be your new boyfriend.
15:44No, actually, this is Freddy.
15:47His friend Chris is the one I'm dating.
15:48He couldn't make it tonight.
15:49Oh, well, in that case, I think you're incredibly handsome and I'd like to have sex with you.
15:55We're gonna look around.
15:56She seems nice.
16:02Well, if you like her, I could set you up.
16:05Did you not see the spike through to Johnson?
16:10Good.
16:12I kinda didn't want to.
16:15Really?
16:16Yeah.
16:17Why not?
16:18Well, cause then we'd end up double dating and a little Sarah goes a long way.
16:23Right.
16:23I have this wine tasting next week, and Chris hates that sort of stuff.
16:29Would you go with me?
16:31You and me?
16:33Yeah.
16:34I mean, it's just wine.
16:36We're not doing anything.
16:38Just drinking some wine.
16:41Seeing what wine tastes like.
16:42Great.
16:44It should be fun.
16:47This exhibit looks interesting.
16:51Want to check it out?
16:52Uh, sure.
16:53Oh, hey there.
17:04Whoa, whoa, what?
17:06Whoa.
17:06Don't worry.
17:07This is the classic Sarah.
17:09Uh, is it done or is it gonna start filling up with water?
17:13What do you think the point of this is?
17:17Sarah's probably trying to make some sort of statement about intimacy.
17:22Intimacy?
17:24Yeah.
17:25Yeah.
17:25Well, message received.
17:31Oh.
17:31Hey.
17:34Well, that was interesting.
17:36Totally.
17:38Totally interesting.
17:39Interesting.
17:40So I'm gonna go grab a bunch of alcohol.
17:43Hey, Allison.
17:49Please tell me you didn't send your resumes out yet.
17:51Yeah.
17:52I sent them all over town.
17:54I haven't got any responses back, though.
17:56Well, maybe that's because it says your career objective is to work in pubic relations.
18:03What?
18:04I used spell check on this.
18:05It didn't catch it.
18:06Well, that's because you spelled pubic relations correctly.
18:08Oh, hey, Freddy, you're finally up.
18:15Hey, how was last night with Rose?
18:17It was torture.
18:19She's hot.
18:20And she's fun.
18:22She smells like cupcakes.
18:23I don't think she's into me as much as I'm into her.
18:28But you didn't do anything, right?
18:31Torture.
18:32I said torture.
18:34All right.
18:35All right.
18:36I get it.
18:37I was so bad.
18:38If there's one woman in the world you don't get to be with?
18:40Yes.
18:41Rose dumped me.
18:49What?
18:50What happened?
18:52I don't know.
18:53I went to her place this morning to give her the bracelet and invite her to a French restaurant
18:57tonight in France.
18:59And she said I was moving too fast and she needed some space.
19:02So I offered to buy her a couple hundred acres in Montana.
19:05And the next thing you know, it's over.
19:11Are you sure you didn't misunderstand?
19:13No, she doesn't want to see me again.
19:15You're positive.
19:18Yeah.
19:21Oh, buddy.
19:24I'm sorry.
19:31Is it cool if I ask her out?
19:35What?
19:37I've been holding back because you're my best friend.
19:40But now that you're not seeing her, wounds are still fresh.
19:43Hey, I know you're hurt.
19:45And it's because she's a great girl.
19:47But she's gonna wind up with somebody.
19:50And don't you want her to be your best buddy?
19:54No, not really.
19:58Dude, I'm sorry.
19:59I'm not cool with this at all.
20:02You know what?
20:03I'm vetoing this.
20:04You're vetoing it?
20:05Yep.
20:06Dude, we haven't used that since high school.
20:08We're adults now.
20:10Okay?
20:10This isn't just some crush.
20:12I could see myself ending up with Rose.
20:15You might have a really good point there.
20:19Veto.
20:22What if she's supposed to be my soulmate?
20:24Huh?
20:24You gonna rob me of that?
20:26Veto Carleone.
20:26What if we're supposed to get married?
20:31And we have a son.
20:32And he becomes president.
20:33And achieves world peace.
20:35All the ladies in the house say...
20:37Veto.
20:40Look, man.
20:44I'm sorry if you have a problem with this.
20:48I'm gonna ask her out.
20:49So it's like that.
20:54I guess it is.
21:08Hello?
21:10Yeah, she lives here.
21:12Hold on.
21:13I'll ask her.
21:13Allison, are you interested in a job in pubic relations?
21:18Give me that.
21:20Listen, that was a misprint.
21:22No, I don't want to entertain in Japan.
21:28Listen, I told you.
21:29Oh, hey.
21:30Okay.
21:31I'll tell him.
21:34Veto.
21:39Looking good.
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