- 1 day ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00hey it's official i just signed the paperwork to buy out the other partners and i'm ready to
00:08improve our restaurant got my big book of ideas what a coincidence i have my big book of who
00:14cares all right what do you got just one sec buy controlling interest in restaurant check
00:24make big book of ideas check check off ideas when they're done check you have get beaten with big
00:34book of ideas in there okay skipping down dining in complete darkness your food becomes a total
00:44sensory experience and you're gonna love this we hire blind waiters
00:47okay well we already have waiters so are you suggesting i fire them or blind them
00:58see that that's what i needed fresh eyes fresh eyes okay um monkey in a cage
01:08why what do you mean why we can't just let him run free
01:16no no why monkey at all because no other fine food restaurants have monkeys dude it'll get people
01:27talking oh yeah yeah they'll be saying hey did you hear about that restaurant where the monkey bit the
01:34lips off the customer hey grandma
01:39bueno me voy a la iglesia
01:42bueno pienso de que debo ponerme mi abrigo de invierno y salir al frío afuera el arma esperando el autobús
01:51gracias si logro llegar le voy a decir a denise que le mandas tus saludos
02:06what denise is gonna be there grandma don't fight me on this it's cold outside i'm driving you to church
02:15who's the virgin you are now get back in your damn room
02:27i love you sweetie
02:30okay you were right right i shouldn't have freaked out about the whole virgin thing
02:37yeah no one i've met lately has been as genuine and warm as denise was
02:42i should have tried harder to make it work out
02:45yeah you should have then i wouldn't have had to listen to you whine like a teenage girl
02:50oh i miss denise so much i'm afraid to call her because she might hang up on me
02:57i should have let chris put a monkey in the restaurant
03:02when i was a little boy
03:07about to hate you by
03:09my mother felt me
03:13greater than man like
03:15now i'm a man
03:18now i'm a man
03:21hey thanks for letting me come man this place is really
03:32this is really cool
03:35you know i've never uh done the confession thing before i think i'm gonna give it a shot
03:40no no no
03:41oh come on let me talk to the priest first i'll make you look way better i promise
03:47i i want to see if he uh if he really won't turn me in for murder
03:53ow ow ow ow ow
03:56por favor llévatelo este y deja de que alguien bueno viva
04:00oh wow
04:14denise looks amazing
04:16i think i think i just saw that statue of saint francis turn around to check her out
04:19boy would i love to have been a priest on the wall in that confession
04:24first it's a fly
04:28second her confession wouldn't interest you she's a virgin
04:34huh just like mary
04:36dude i wonder if anybody ever saw denise's face in a pancake in new jersey
04:40go get it stop it
04:45how's that pen that's going
04:54and deliver me from evil amen
05:00hello freddie
05:03hi
05:04how are you
05:06good
05:07a little surprised to see you at church
05:09yeah well
05:11just wanted to show father sorenson my maserati
05:14he always said i was going to hell and i just want to show him how i'm getting there
05:19yeah he really doesn't like you sometimes he uses you in sermons as a bad example
05:27i i get it like like he says there's this guy i know
05:32no no he says freddie moreno
05:34so what's going on with you
05:41uh not too much
05:43look i hope you're not upset with me i know the way things ended wasn't great
05:50freddie i'm fine actually i'm seeing someone
05:54really good for you
05:58yeah he's nice
06:00hey you can't go wrong with nice huh
06:02you can never return nice
06:04you never exchange nice
06:07you just keep it and it's nice
06:11oh i gotta go
06:17it was good seeing you
06:22yeah
06:22it was nice
06:24so what happened you asked her out right
06:35nah she's seeing someone
06:38like be messed up to go after
06:40should have never let her go
06:42dude hold on
06:43all right maybe she's not serious about this guy you know maybe he's not really boyfriend material
06:48there are some guys who are honorable and all you know committed like you
06:53and then there are there are the guys that jump from bed to bed because they're so hot that they can't
06:58i appreciate you trying to help okay but there's someone here who's a little more qualified to give advice on moral decisions than you
07:11hey father it's me freddie moreno is that how i taught you to begin confession
07:16bless me father for i am freddie moreno
07:24hey father it's me freddie moreno
07:30i'm freddie moreno is that how i taught you to begin confession
07:34bless me father for i am freddie moreno
07:38go on my son
07:40i just got a quick question it's kind of a moral issue
07:44you still shoplifting from manny's grocery
07:46i was eight and i gave the candy bar away didn't jesus say to rob from the rich and give it to the poor
07:56that was robin hood you idiot
08:00call me an idiot in confession
08:02call me an idiot in confession
08:05who's gonna live
08:06who are you gonna tell
08:08what's your problem
08:11well
08:12i was just wondering
08:14how wrong would it be in god's eyes
08:18if a man declared his feelings for a woman
08:21knowing that if he told her how he felt
08:24it could break up a serious relationship
08:27you tell me your sins
08:30i forgive you
08:31you know how this works at all
08:34i want to tell denise montoya i want her back
08:39but i don't know if she's serious about this guy she's dating
08:41has she told you anything
08:45oh hey
08:46this looks just like one of those photo booths
08:49get out of here
08:51denise is a parishioner i'm not talking about her
08:57what else you got
08:58how about this
09:00i'm gonna donate a thousand dollars to the church
09:04now if she's serious about this guy
09:06you ask for cash
09:08if she's not
09:11ask for a check
09:13freddie god loves you
09:17so i don't have to
09:19stay away from denise she's a good person
09:23eventually she's gonna find the right guy
09:24and it's not gonna be you
09:26so she hasn't found the right guy and you hate me
09:30thanks padre
09:32hey boss
09:37okay so let's say that i killed a guy
09:42hey do you know why there's a woman rubbing everyone at the bar
09:50yeah i hired a massage therapist
09:52i figured if people are relaxed
09:54they'll stay and drink longer
09:55freddie's gonna love this idea
09:56she's a hooker isn't she
09:59no she's a massage therapist she's fully trained and licensed in thailand
10:04oh so she's a fully trained and licensed hooker
10:13oh my god rose hey what are you doing back in town
10:16oh well the bakery in new york is doing fine so i thought i'd check on my shop here
10:23it is it's really great to see you
10:26and i mean that in a totally platonic i know we're just friends now and not trying to get in your pants
10:32kind of way
10:33so uh where's freddie
10:36he's uh he's not in yet
10:39he's gonna freak out when he sees you though
10:41yeah well i want to surprise him so don't tell him i'm in town okay
10:44sure
10:44okay here i gotta get back to the bakery hey chris
10:47yeah
10:47don't throw out the biscotti again they're not stale
10:50okay so i made those calls there are only two monkeys in chicago who play the trumpet
10:56but only one of them keeps his pants on
10:59all right i did it i got denise coming down to the restaurant now i'm gonna surprise her with a romantic dinner
11:08i'm gonna tell her how i feel and if she feels the same way
11:11we'll take a carriage ride around the gold coast and then she'll go home and dump her boyfriend
11:16god it's like a fairy tale
11:19except in the end snow white puts a bullet in sleepy's head
11:23freddie
11:25grandma what are you doing here
11:28la abuelita de denise me dijo de que venia esta noche
11:31quiero asegurarme que no lo valores
11:32i won't
11:34but you might want to tell denise's boyfriend
11:38dude why did she bring him
11:42didn't she know it was a date
11:44i didn't say it was a date
11:48i was trying to be subtle
11:49bien hecho
11:52hey denise
12:02hey freddie
12:04this is the guy i was telling you about
12:06james this is freddie
12:07hey you know your timing was perfect i was looking for a special place to take denise tonight
12:13i'm looking forward to having a great meal
12:15thank you
12:17yeah you know denise told me that that you're nice
12:20so i'm looking forward to
12:22wow this is gorgeous
12:34yeah we're testing out new more romantic tables
12:38so if you're more in love at the end of the night please
12:43tell your waiter
12:46can you believe this
12:51dude
12:52i can get the boyfriend out of the way
12:54alright
12:54i'll just arrange a little accident with one of my segwaiters carrying a tray of flaming cherries jubilee
13:01whoops
13:03segwaiters
13:06segwaiters
13:08get off the segways now
13:18okay
13:20segwaiters
13:22just smoke
13:22oh come on what is it you don't like about this one
13:28oh what's not to like
13:29it's an idea that just screams and there were no survivors
13:33okay
13:45so you're not gonna do anything
13:47no
13:48dude she brought her boyfriend
13:50she's obviously
13:51sending me a message
13:53right come on
13:54she still wants you
13:55she brought the guy to make you jealous
13:57it's a classic chick move
13:59look even if she did
14:01and she didn't
14:02couldn't say anything in front of him
14:04how would you like it
14:06if you were out on a date
14:08and i walked up and told your girlfriend i wanted her back
14:10i didn't like it at all
14:12either time
14:15dude come on
14:19you gotta tell her how you feel
14:20you think i don't want to
14:22i learned my lesson with rose
14:24okay i was crazy about her
14:26and because i didn't say anything
14:27i lost her
14:28denise is clearly into this guy
14:31so
14:32i'm out
14:34hey mrs moreno
14:38james this is freddy's grandmother
14:43how do you speak spanish
14:44i'm sorry i don't speak spanish
14:48ah
14:49thank you
14:50mary
14:52mary
14:52mary
14:52She still has feelings for you, and she's too old to tell you what to do about this.
15:00What?
15:01This is your last scene with her. I think I should take a spot.
15:13I told Denise that you still want her. The door is open.
15:16And I think that her friend is ready for the fire.
15:20You did what?
15:22You told her that in front of her boyfriend?
15:26She did.
15:27Okay, I didn't tell her because I didn't want to say anything that might screw up her relationship.
15:32But since you did, what did she say? How does she say it? Does she giggle and flip her hair back?
15:39Dude, check it out.
15:43He's crying. Denise did it. Dude, she's breaking up with him.
15:46Are you kidding me?
15:48I'm sorry, I'm getting so emotional.
15:52Denise, will you marry me?
15:59I can't believe she's doing this. You think she told them about me?
16:03No, that's very cruel.
16:05She wouldn't do it.
16:06I would do it.
16:07I would do it.
16:08But men have made me suffer.
16:10James, I don't know what to say.
16:14I don't know what to say.
16:15You're a sweet man.
16:17But you're proposing.
16:19And we've only dated a month.
16:21I mean, I'm sure there's a woman out there somewhere who wouldn't think that's insane.
16:27Are you that woman?
16:28No.
16:29I'm not.
16:30Damn.
16:31It's the third no this year.
16:32Hey.
16:33I'm sorry you had to do that.
16:34It must have been incredibly difficult.
16:35You heard that?
16:36Yeah, I did.
16:37And I feel bad for the guy.
16:38But I have to say...
16:39I am very flattered.
16:40Why are you flattered?
16:41Why are you flattered?
16:42Why are you flattered?
16:43Why are you flattered?
16:44Why are you flattered?
16:45I'm not.
16:46I'm sorry I had to do that.
16:47I'm sorry I had to do that.
16:49It must have been incredibly difficult.
16:50You heard that?
16:51Yeah, I did.
16:52And I feel bad for the guy.
16:53But I have to say...
16:54I am very flattered.
17:07why are you flattered how could i not be flattered you dumped that guy as soon as you found out i
17:14still had feelings for you so you're saying that the second i found out you wanted me back
17:24i immediately broke up with my boyfriend
17:26is it too late to say no
17:31i broke up with james because he proposed to me after a month it had nothing to do with you
17:41you conceited jerk now wait wait a second you're you're broken up anyway why don't we just start
17:48fresh and have a nice day you want to split a season no okay
17:51don't talk to me
18:07no me eches la culpa a mí yo te la puse en medio de la base tú eres el que le dio como señorita
18:17denise you know what really pisses me off you just want what you can't have i think the only
18:35reason you wanted me back was because you knew i had a boyfriend that is not true you don't have a
18:41boyfriend now and i still really want you
18:43i've been on other dates since we broke up but none of those girls were half as sweet or caring
18:51and not nearly as beautiful as you
18:54and uh i'm sorry for being arrogant tonight it's just you know i just
19:02i assumed because i was still interested
19:08you might be too
19:11i might be i knew it
19:17again arrogant sorry
19:25what do you say you give it another shot
19:31only if you promise that this time if we run into a problem you don't bail we work it out
19:39done
19:40and i don't want my virginity to be an issue so we're taking sex off the table
19:47we're not even going to discuss it
19:50okay i think your grandma's gonna be happy about this
20:05i know she is she's been looking at us through that window as if i can't see her this whole time
20:10i'm gonna go say hi
20:14hey chris
20:24my best friend
20:26you know
20:27i'm feeling so good i'll tell you what
20:30if you want to grab a whole bunch of monkeys
20:33bring them in the restaurant
20:35give them segways
20:37you got it
20:43that that's that's actually what i wanted to talk to you about
20:48now i i know
20:50i know i've got a lot of really good ideas
20:54but
20:56i don't think they fit with the restaurant
21:00so i've decided to open my own place
21:03chris
21:04that that is great
21:06yeah hey that that's a lot of responsibility you sure you're ready for that
21:09actually i i started uh making plans
21:11already i called rose to see if she could supply my dessert
21:15and uh oh and i hope you don't mind but um i also told rose
21:20that that uh you thought she was your soulmate
21:24so what did she say i said how could i be so stupid not to see it
21:33looking good
21:44looking good
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