- 17 hours ago
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00:00Tosh.0 features videos from the internet and is intended for a mature audience.
00:04Comedy Central does not condone the activities performed and discourages anyone from attempting them.
00:09Enjoy.
00:30Clean as clam on Skid Row.
00:39Welcome to Tosh.0.
00:41For Halloween, I'm dressed as a sexy widower who has just lost a child because this is the season of mourning.
00:49Tonight, I meet a guy who's not a businessman.
00:53He loves businesses, man.
00:55Rax.
00:56Rax.
00:57We play the snuff film of game shows and this week's lucky SOB.
01:03Now, after toilet paper became a hard get, some people didn't go back.
01:10Post-metapausal vaginal dryness is no laughing matter.
01:13Shame on all of you.
01:15Now, let's put 20 seconds on the clock and see how many funny comments we can make.
01:20Her body, her choice.
01:22There's a good chance that hydrant is just barfing.
01:24That tainted water is going to run into the oceans and make our fish taste even fishier.
01:30When you spend generations blasting your bean with a shower head, you've got to level up to something with a little more pressure.
01:36Nice to see Elizabeth Warren getting back out there.
01:39Better late than never.
01:40But it's a $300 ticket if I park in front of a hydrant.
01:45She does this every 9-11 for the first responders.
01:49Moving on.
01:50This is the safest way to Uber right now.
01:55I want to make sure this isn't a hate crime before I do any jokes.
02:00Seems consensual enough.
02:03Let's put 20 seconds on the clock and see how many funny comments we can make.
02:06Again?
02:07Yes, again.
02:08I got one foot out the door.
02:09I can do whatever the f*** I want.
02:12This could be the Middle East.
02:13It could be Detroit.
02:14Pick your poison.
02:16Shithole countries are officially having more fun than us.
02:19I did the same thing this summer, but on a private lake and with a boat.
02:26I've never wanted to see dogs eat a person more.
02:29All right, I'm out of funny comments.
02:30I yield my time to the next video.
02:33All right, just because you wear a superhero costume doesn't mean you get their powers.
02:38First Black Mamba, then Black Panther, and now Black Spider-Man?
02:512020 can go f*** itself.
02:54At least he's not flashing his girthy dick all over the gram like Captain America.
03:01He represents the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man years.
03:05The costume is black, but I know a white Spider-Man when I see one.
03:09That looks serious.
03:10Thank goodness my wife Karen and I were at the park that day and called 911.
03:14911, what's your emergency?
03:16There's a group of rioters beating up a superhero at an illegal barbecue.
03:20Yes, they happen to be black.
03:21They have taken over a gazebo, and I don't feel safe.
03:24Ask if they can bring napkins.
03:26We forgot napkins.
03:27I doubt they paid Marvel the licensing fees to use his likeness.
03:30It's all very offensive.
03:32Send all units.
03:34White Karen is actually Black Spider-Man's arch enemy.
03:36All right, these are the kind of activities you do before the bank forecloses on your home.
03:46Sweet Jesus, that was cool.
03:49The rare vid where no one was hurt, except for everyone who got COVID at this super spreader event.
03:55Hashtag Florida Strong.
03:58I think I saw this guy at Billy Madison's fourth grade graduation party.
04:03He should have kept his life jacket on, because that night he drowned.
04:08In pussy.
04:09Guy is awesome.
04:12Uno mas.
04:17In month eight of quarantine, I get why you'd want to shoot everyone you live with.
04:24Now, let's see if a casual jacket can stop a bullet in this week's breakdown.
04:28Welcome to Russia, where 21% of the world's heroin is consumed, a fact that is always relevant.
04:38Are those commies just allowed to shoot each other over there?
04:42In the U.S., you have to at least be peacefully protesting.
04:46Ready?
04:47Anus.
04:48Fire.
04:48Fire.
04:52Putin outlawed homosexuality, so this is the only legal way to blast your buddy's stinkhole.
04:58Maybe the gun was loaded with a butt plug, and those are screams of ecstasy.
05:04Tucker Carlson spent the first hour of his show last night defending the shooter.
05:10Sweet jorts.
05:12Why is everyone in Russia still dressed like they're borrowing their uncle's clothes from 1987?
05:17Whew.
05:18Really turning those floorboards into a Jackson Pollock painting.
05:21If I had a nickel for every time there was blood pouring out of my ass, I'd have a roll of nickels to plug the hole.
05:29Holy fuck!
05:31I just hope this is how the Kardashians end their show, by shooting each other in their huge ass implants.
05:36And for that, we thank you.
05:38We'll be right back, but first, October is Osteoporosis Awareness Month, so be sure to check your friends for brittle bones.
05:46It's just about control.
05:47Oh my god, he's broke his ankle.
05:54This used to be a Kmart.
06:02This is definitely an old BP.
06:05I found a Spirit Halloween that is inside an old MC Sports.
06:10I cannot believe I am standing in front of a legitimate, fully functional Racks restaurant.
06:17Oh my god, it's just so unbelievable.
06:20Look at these trays.
06:22Holy crap.
06:23This is the coolest thing I've ever seen in my life.
06:26I'm shaking, guys, because I'm so excited about Racks.
06:29We are totally going down into the solarium.
06:32Dear Lord, thank you for this beautiful, bountiful, delicious meal.
06:39Nothing like sunbathing in a solarium while you enjoy piping hot microwaved roast beef.
06:47This wide-eyed oaf is that Nate guy.
06:50Almost 30 million people have watched him explore businesses that used to be other businesses.
06:56Because what else are we supposed to do during a pandemic?
06:59Read a book?
07:00A Cracker Barrel that used to be a Shoney's may not sound so fascinating to you, but you don't live in rural Ohio.
07:06Just when Nate was running out of failed stores to visit, the Lord answered our prayers and blessed America with COVID.
07:13I assume by next year, all of our college campuses will be seasonal Halloween shops.
07:18Thank you, President Dipshit.
07:20But Nate's alarmingly high blood pressure really skyrockets when he sees one of the elusive diarrhea factories known as Racks Roast Beef Restaurant.
07:30What the is Racks?
07:32There are only a handful left, probably because they serve baked potatoes topped with roast beef slathered in barbecue sauce.
07:39It's Nate's zest for the mundane that is refreshing.
07:43Maybe deep down, I too appreciate the forlorn beauty in urban decay.
07:48Or maybe I just like the dumb way he says Racks.
07:52Racks.
07:52Regardless, I flew him to L.A. on an old Virgin America jet, now operated by Alaska Airlines, for this week's Suebri profile.
08:01Racks.
08:02Racks.
08:10Nay, you simpleton.
08:11Check out my new digs.
08:12Snatched up fully furnished, if you can believe it.
08:14This place is sweet.
08:15I love this.
08:16It used to be a white castle.
08:18You sure about that?
08:19I think it's just a regular castle.
08:21No need to bring race into it.
08:23No, this is a white castle.
08:25Seems like something they would have to disclose during escrow.
08:28But it would explain why there's always a long line of cars honking outside my bedroom window in the middle of the night.
08:32And why I keep finding all these diced dried onions everywhere.
08:37Hey, Rodrigo!
08:38You know this place used to be a white castle?
08:40Oh, si!
08:41Ha!
08:42Let's see, Grace.
08:43Dear Lord, we thank you for this beautiful food and the opportunity to share it with our friends.
08:49In Jesus' name, amen.
08:50Amen.
08:51I was hoping you were going to pepper in Bountiful.
08:53Nate?
08:54Yeah.
08:55Where are you from?
08:56Canton, Ohio.
08:57Shithole, yes or no?
08:58Yes.
08:59Oh.
09:00How long have you lived in Ohio?
09:02Uh, my whole life, actually.
09:03Born and raised?
09:04Born and raised.
09:05How old are you?
09:06I am going to be 45 on March 5th.
09:08You and I are the same age.
09:09Sweet.
09:10How many videos have you made?
09:11Uh, probably about 1,500.
09:13Man, you're teetering on serial killer level.
09:16What's your deal with things that used to be something else?
09:21This is actually in a former Sears.
09:24We might be able to see some Sears remnants in here.
09:27It's just interesting to see, like, the designs.
09:30Here's what I want you to go to while you're here in Los Angeles.
09:32Okay.
09:33Okay?
09:33There's a Kmart.
09:34The entire thing is the Britney Spears experience.
09:38They paint the entire Kmart pink.
09:40It's basically, like, an Instagram thing.
09:42You get to, like, act like you're in the video.
09:44People pay, like, 50 bucks all day long.
09:46Are you serious right now?
09:47Swear to God.
09:48Why would I make this thing up?
09:50You compared a Rainforest car wash to Cedar Point.
09:54This is so cool.
09:56It looks like something from Cedar Point.
09:59It was fun.
10:00But why not go to the actual Cedar Point?
10:03Rainforest was closer.
10:05I'm doing some remodeling in here.
10:06Tell me the benefits of a solarium.
10:08This just totally brings back the memories.
10:11And this solarium down here?
10:13You love a solarium.
10:14I love a solarium.
10:15It's so 90s.
10:16It's just a fun word to say.
10:18When you say it, it makes me laugh.
10:20Solarium.
10:21Oh, we're in the solarium.
10:23Clearly, the most popular videos are you doing Halloween outlets.
10:28Those are your bread and butter.
10:29Yeah.
10:30Why are those so popular?
10:31I think just a lot of people love Halloween.
10:34But why do they want to watch you just walk around the store?
10:37For one thing, it's because I get scared of everything.
10:39Uh-huh.
10:40Oh, god.
10:42I mean, every animatronic I'll walk up to and hit the button,
10:45and I know it's coming, and it jumps at me,
10:47and I still get scared.
10:48Hey, that one Rax video, what the was wrong with your eye?
10:51My granddaughter dropped a glass lid on my eye.
10:56OK.
10:56You have a granddaughter?
10:58I have two, three granddaughters.
10:59Hey, that's the face.
11:02My mind just got blown.
11:05I cannot believe I am standing in front of a legitimate,
11:09fully functional Rax.
11:11How many locations are left on the planet?
11:13Like three, I think.
11:15Now, what's the difference between a Rax and an Arby's?
11:18Rax is good.
11:19Oh.
11:20Shots fired.
11:21Apologize to Arby's.
11:23I'm sorry, Arby.
11:23No, you don't have to apologize.
11:25I'm apologizing.
11:25You don't like them?
11:26You don't like them, that's fine, but Arby's, man,
11:28they've been good to us over the years.
11:30Ready?
11:31I'm going to put you on the spot.
11:32Top five fast food restaurants, go.
11:35Rax, White Castle.
11:37What about that shitty chili you guys have, Skyline?
11:41I've never had it.
11:42You've never had Skyline chili?
11:43You know what it is, right?
11:44Is that they do chili, and they put spaghetti on top of it,
11:46and then they put, like, cheese like a mile high.
11:48OK.
11:49And they act like it's great, but it's not great.
11:50You know how you know it's not great?
11:52How?
11:53Because it's not anywhere else, and this won't get edited.
11:54You know why?
11:55Because there's no way Skyline chili advertises on network,
11:59because they can't afford it.
12:00Not with one restaurant.
12:01No, they have a lot of restaurants throughout Ohio.
12:03There's tons of them.
12:05I'd argue there's over 100.
12:07How many locations of Skyline chili in the state of Ohio?
12:12Let's just hold for a second.
12:27134.
12:28Woo!
12:30I said over 100, 134.
12:32Huh?
12:33OK, Nate, you've made tons of videos wandering around every
12:36guy saw in Ohio, but I would appreciate it if you'd film here
12:39in Los Angeles at the Tosh.0 offices.
12:43Consider it your racks to riches story.
12:46I could do that.
12:48Welcome to the beautiful architectural district
12:51of Culver City.
12:52Not one building makes any goddamn sense.
12:54This rounded part up here looks like Kmart.
12:57Now, this used to be the Tennis Channel.
12:59Now, how do I know that?
13:00Because it's still the Tennis Channel.
13:02You're not going to believe this, but Asian-American tennis
13:04great Michael Chang once parked here.
13:06Nice.
13:07Damn near hopped the curb.
13:10This is Louise.
13:10He's a leftover PA from the nightly show with Larry Wilmore.
13:14Ah!
13:14Holy crap.
13:15That just scared the crap out of me.
13:17Have you met Greg?
13:18He also likes to talk about stuff no one cares about.
13:20How's it going?
13:21Greg, Nate.
13:21How are we doing?
13:22That'll take 20 minutes.
13:24And this is our green screen.
13:26Oh, my god.
13:27This is awesome.
13:28Yeah.
13:29A lot of great shows have been filmed here
13:30before we got in here.
13:32Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego was shot here.
13:34HBO's Rome was filmed here.
13:38The O.J. Simpson trial was filmed here.
13:402006 Daytona 500 was filmed right here.
13:46So those cars are all fake.
13:48Yep.
13:49That's Hollywood magic for you.
13:50Or as we call it around here, Culver City Voodoo.
13:54Nice meeting you, Nate.
13:55Hey, come back in a few months.
13:56When we're on hiatus, they turn this into a Halloween store.
13:58Oh, sweet.
13:59I definitely will.
14:01All right, guys, that was awesome.
14:03I got to get going if I'm going to make it to a Rax before dinner time.
14:06I'm out.
14:06Peace.
14:08Huge update.
14:09His life hasn't changed a bit.
14:12I'd give anything to have his backward country-fried brain for five minutes.
14:15Rax.
14:16I didn't even say Rax that time.
14:18Rax.
14:20But first, every karaoke bar needs a referee.
14:23Halloween might be canceled this year, but sticking foreign objects in your body will never be.
14:39That's right.
14:40It's time to play What's in Your Body.
14:42What's in Your Body?
14:44Thanks, house band.
14:45Starting to sound a lot better.
14:46Now, since there's no studio audience...
14:49Amanda, my personal assistant slash property manager slash cousin by marriage, will be filling in and watching all the horrific videos on their behalf.
14:56But I still encourage you to guess along at home.
14:58OK, on to the first hole.
14:58The nostrils.
14:59Or as Don Jr. calls them, cocaine holes.
15:11Ah!
15:12.
15:13Ah!
15:14Ah!
15:15Ah!
15:16Ah!
15:17Ah!
15:18Ah!
15:19Ah!
15:20Ah!
15:21Ah!
15:22Ah!
15:23Ah!
15:24Ah!
15:25Ah!
15:25Ah!
15:26Ah!
15:26Ah!
15:27Ah!
15:27Ah!
15:28Ah!
15:28No more guesses.
15:42That was a leech inside your body.
15:47It was a leech.
15:49A giant blood-sucking leech.
15:52Coach Mike Leach.
15:54Big old boy.
15:55Let's move on to our next hole, the stomach hole, which isn't really a hole until you slice it open.
16:19No more guesses.
16:22Anyone still guessing is disqualified immediately.
16:25That was pirate treasure inside your body.
16:33Pirate treasure.
16:35You ever heard the tale of Davy Jones's ulcer?
16:38In these uncertain times, hoarding gold is a smart move.
16:42Now, pee-pee comes out of this next hole.
16:45But did you know you can also put stuff in it?
16:54All right, because of all the D-shaped blur, we're going to give you an additional two seconds of guessing time.
16:59All right, stop.
16:59That was a toothbrush inside your body.
17:06It was a toothbrush.
17:08What kind of pervert goes bristles first?
17:13Blood is a sign you're brushing too hard.
17:15There's plenty of blue on the indicator.
17:17That brush has got some life in it yet.
17:20All right, final hole.
17:22It's the official hole of Tosh.0.
17:24It's what the O represents in Tosh.0.
17:27The B-hole.
17:27Remember, in the final round, guesses are worth double.
17:55No more guesses.
17:56That was a seasonally appropriate vegetable inside your body.
18:03It was a seasonally appropriate vegetable.
18:06What's with the condom, bro?
18:08Gourds can't get you pregnant.
18:10I hope.
18:11Now, slice it in half, sprinkle butter and brown sugar, bake it for an hour at 375.
18:16And that's how we play What's in Your Body.
18:20What's in your body?
18:21Thanks, guys.
18:22I'll give all our contestants another calendar year to fill up their bodies.
18:25Now, you did it again.
18:28Good job, Internet.
18:29You somehow managed to make motorsports entertaining.
18:32Whee!
18:33Whee!
18:33Whee!
18:34Whee!
18:35Whee!
18:35Whee!
18:35Whee!
18:36Whee!
18:36Whee!
18:37Whee!
18:37Whee!
18:38Whee!
18:38Whee!
18:39Whee!
18:39Whee!
18:40Whee!
18:40Whee!
18:40Whee!
18:41Add all the funny sounds you want.
18:42There's still a ton of Confederate flags at that race.
18:45We'll be right back with more Tosh.0 on Comedy Central.
18:48Welcome back to the only TV show that thinks we should abolish both the electoral and regular
19:01college.
19:02Next week is election day, so I'm giving you the Tuesday off to go vote as many times as
19:07possible.
19:08I'll be settling for Biden-Harris.
19:10I'm a two-issue voter.
19:11Always have been.
19:12Pro-abortion.
19:14And I'm anti-racist redneck trash.
19:16Uh, the week after, for those of you who survived the Civil War, I'll be chatting with
19:21this IT guy who dresses like a cat.
19:24If I asked you what DNS was, he'd probably say, oh, DNS is the domain name service.
19:28It's, it's, it allows us to remember host names like google.com instead of having to remember
19:33IP addresses like 173.194.219.26.
19:38Not to be confused with the guy who eats cat food from a few episodes ago.
19:43Mute me on the four majors of social media.
19:45As you know, these are our final episodes on Comedy Central.
19:49And just because I may be moving on to another network doesn't mean I don't love CC.
19:53And to prove it, we've been paying tribute to some of my favorite executives that have
19:58made Tosh.0 the longest running weekly live action show in network history.
20:03Oh my gosh, this week it's Akash.
20:06Akash Goyle.
20:08Comedy Central's VP of digital content strategy.
20:11That's a mouthful.
20:13One time, he let me throw his beautiful biracial baby across the parking lot.
20:17Just for a bit.
20:18Guy's a team player.
20:19Probably why he avoided being fired here at CC.
20:22Guy knows how to dodge bullets.
20:24So I guess I won't be needing to give him a call.
20:27Finally, this week's lucky son of a bitch.
20:35Oh my gosh.
20:37What the heck?
20:42Woo.
20:43Almost became a BMX kebab.
20:45But that trick turned into a treat because he's our lucky SOB.
20:50Hologram disengage.
20:52Good night.
20:52Good night.
20:53Good night.
21:19Woo.
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