- 7 months ago
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00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:32Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:34Yes, Sydney?
00:51Oh! Hello, Miss Courtney.
00:54Did you want me?
00:55No, I was just giving your office floor a brush out.
00:58How very kind.
01:00good evening oh mr. Brown just the man I want you lucky devil sorry would you
01:09step into my office yeah not you mr. Brown after you miss courtney
01:17you have a nice weekend oh very pleasant I spent two days in lieu oh in lieu of
01:23what I have brought something for you yeah it's a tape recorder yes oh that's very kind of you miss
01:33courtney thank you very much I didn't expect you to buy me anything well that's good because I
01:36happened I thought this was that tape recorder belongs to the music class I thought it might
01:42be a good idea if you used it to try to improve your students elocution yes that is a good idea
01:47how does it work it is self-explanatory mr. Brown stop start wind rewind record
01:55hmm shouldn't there be a microphone it is fully built in when you have finished it perhaps you
02:02would return it to the music class yes certainly you may go thank you pompous old twit that old
02:15hen she said a pompous old twit I was just going oh just one moment something the matter yes it's
02:23still switched on I do hope you weren't being indiscreet no of course I never said anything did I see no
02:34not a dicky bird never on this normal shop well we'll see shall we I think I'll go sweep the floor yes
02:39I stay where you are now let's see what we can hear when you have finished with it perhaps you
02:46would be kind enough to return it to the music class yes certainly you may go thank you here we
02:53are that's it there's no more no definitely no more just a moment pompous old twit
02:59I see I am a pompous old twit am I wasn't you really good Lord no was it's it no no we should never
03:12hold in yeah then who was it who well it was it was the other old boiler gladys the tea lady yes that's
03:22right Gladys I would hardly call Gladys pompous wouldn't you she'd be very pompous at times I see
03:28well perhaps you would tell pompous Gladys that I am waiting for my coffee right you know my horoscope
03:37was wrong I was forecast to clash with authority ending in disaster that wasn't disaster yeah well
03:42the night is still young
03:49there you are how are you liking it you are very rude Ranjit also he's not be spell very good
03:56please Ranjit lap it off before Harry arrives no you make Ali very mad I am not caring yesterday Ali
04:03is calling me a monkey face he shouldn't call you monkey face oh thank you Max it's not your fault you look
04:10like that I missed something funny no prophet sorry he's still here you are liking flowers scusi you
04:24are liking flowers auntie yes oh no sure I like it the flowers good I'm sending something a funeral put
04:31your knife away Giovanni sit down come on what hope is there for a multiracial society if a handful of
04:37people can't sit down together for a couple of hours without coming to bloom ah we only make it a joke
04:42well in future let's have no more jokes they only seem to lead to arguments who's responsible for
04:51this come along I'm waiting right if the person who's responsible doesn't own up you'll all stay
04:57behind and have extra homework it was Ranjit
05:01I suggest you come out here Ranjit and rub it off before Ali comes in and sees it
05:06before Ali comes in and see what
05:09nothing Ali you are hiding something from me
05:12yes please I can see my name on blackboard we were just about to rub it off
05:17oh blimey I can be reporting you to the monastery of education ministry that also I'm being surprised at
05:28you me writing 90 things like that I didn't write it but you are standing with chalky in hand
05:35circumstantial oh no that is most definitely chalky it was already written before I arrived oh-ho then I'm
05:45knowing who is writing it it is monkey face
05:50you up the camera
05:53listen if I have any more arguments those persons responsible will be sent home
05:57immediately well that's not here and that goes for you too no more arguments me
06:02never argue always argue never oh yes you do oh no I don't you're arguing and now
06:09right now tonight we're going to concentrate on your elocution heaven knows it needs concentrating on
06:21right now this is a tape recorder we're going to have the music while we work
06:28no we're not we're just going to have the work I'm going to ask each of you in turn to say something
06:34into this and we'll rewind it and play it back and we'll correct any mistakes or mispronunciations
06:39you may make right you first Ali jelly good what shall I be saying well just say anything at all that
06:48comes into your mind anything at all that is coming into my mind here is the news and this is Maximilian
07:03Andreas Archimedes Papandreou speaking it today we not have any news maybe tomorrow we have some
07:09my name is Daniel 5 of 36 21 35 I am French a pair and I like all kind of sports in the doors and out of the
07:24I am be speaking little poetry
07:53yes when first I come to school I am sit here like a fool but Master G is teach me how to speech and now I'm speak much
08:06more better
08:09and it didn't exactly rhyme Master Shakespeare no be right no that's true he doesn't not always Giovanni
08:23this is not a talent contest just say a sentence or two okay I am in the English class to learn how to
08:40speak English now I speak English now I still have a lot to learn
08:55Ranjit
08:57greetings and salutations to all my friends long life and much happiness be with you all very nice I mean thank you well done
09:10truly and spare us the thoughts of Chairman Mao tonight please
09:14the thoughts of Chairman Mao wasted on craft full of ignorant followers of imperialistic policies of aggression
09:19or me in China can clue democracy
09:21but thank you sir he at least you're consistent
09:24well uh
09:25Juan
09:25he's here
09:26eh
09:27I'll tell you a little story
09:28eh
09:29my cousin from Madrid his wife she goes up to heaven
09:33Spiritus Santo Domine
09:35and in the funeral my cousin he's very bad
09:39so the priest he come to him and say
09:41please my son don't worry
09:43in six months from now maybe you'll find another beautiful senorita and you get married
09:49my cousin he said to the priest six months what am I going to do tonight
09:55thank you
09:58thank you well
09:59eh
10:00I know Quentin Mao
10:01save them for tea bread
10:02eh
10:03alright
10:04now we'll rewind this and you'll all hear how terrible you sound
10:08you've all got a long way to go
10:10no please
10:11the landlord man I'm staying with is telling me I am speaking English much more better than what he's done
10:18is he a Londoner
10:20no
10:21he's from Turkey
10:24well I wouldn't let it go to your head Ranjeet
10:26right
10:27now
10:28pay attention
10:29you first Ali
10:31jolly good
10:32what shall I be saying
10:33well just say anything at all that comes into your mind
10:36anything at all that is coming into my mind
10:39um
10:40I don't know
10:41who was that
10:42who was what
10:43who were you speaking to
10:45that was you
10:46you were pulling my leggy
10:50that was not me
10:51that is a foreign sounding man
10:53exactly
10:54that's how you sound
10:55oh blimey
10:57and all the time I'm thinking I'm sounding good like Sir Olivia Lawrence
11:01Lawrence
11:03Lawrence and Livia
11:04yes please
11:08you're late Anna
11:09yeah
11:10you feeling alright
11:11yeah
11:12you do not sound alright
11:13look if there's anything that's troubling you can tell us we're your friends
11:18that's right you let your hair down
11:20oh blimey
11:21how can she be letting her hair down when it is not up
11:24let your hair down means to get everything off of the chase
11:28oh
11:29you are be wanted to take off her clothes
11:33holy ravioli
11:35these foreigners are all stupid
11:37don't worry now why don't you tell us what's the matter
11:39for the last time there's nothing the matter
11:41stop asking stupid questions
11:44I'm perfectly alright
11:46alright
12:06Anna
12:08I'm returning the tape recorder
12:09I took her back to the music class but they'd all gone home
12:11oh very well you can leave me there
12:13oh dear
12:14have you finished now
12:15yes I've just got to give them their homework
12:16I think I've got a slight problem
12:18oh
12:19your class is one big problem
12:21I'm rather worried about Anna
12:23in what way
12:24well she burst into tears when she arrived and so far she's refused to say what's troubling her
12:28oh dear I do hope it isn't Miss Rowbottom all over again
12:32pardon
12:33needlework class last term
12:35exactly the same symptoms
12:37weeping all over her embroidery refused to say why
12:40did you ever find out what was the matter
12:42oh yes
12:43was it something serious
12:44what's for Miss Rowbottom
12:45she was pregnant
12:47please Anna tell us what is the matter
12:53I'm alright
12:54how can you be saying you are alright when you have been crying buckets of water
12:59you can do nothing to help
13:02how you know we can do nothing to help if you not tell us your problem
13:05alright I tell you
13:07I have to go back to West Germany
13:09why you got to go back
13:11my wheezer has au pairs kaput
13:13finished
13:14two years is nearly up
13:15why not ask for extension
13:16won't work I have a friend from East Germany Eva also au pair she's been told she has to go back next month
13:27you don't want to go back
13:28no I want to stay here
13:29you can be staying with me I hide you nobody will be knowing you are there
13:34thank you Ranjit but it won't work
13:39maybe you ask for diplomatic immunity
13:41ah Suli is right you can be a detector
13:45defector
13:47ah that is what I mean
13:49people only defect from East to West I'm already in the West
13:53you can go to Chinese Embassy and join with the Republic of China in fight against Russian aggression
14:00you want to stay here in England
14:02I have answer
14:04become British citizen
14:06how
14:07wife
14:08automatically take nationality of husband
14:11hey that taro's got something
14:14you must get married
14:16with an Englishman
14:18hey how about Sid he is an Englishman
14:21he's already being married
14:23hey we put something in the newspaper
14:26wanted
14:27smart Englishman
14:28plenty money
14:29good looks
14:30to marry beautiful German girl
14:32very sexy
14:34I can't do that
14:36sure you can
14:37when I marry it must be Mr. Wright
14:39is he English?
14:40who?
14:41this Mr. Wright
14:42haven't met him yet
14:43oh blimey
14:44how can he be marrying someone he haven't met yet
14:47what Anna means
14:48when she marries she marries Mr. Wright
14:50not Mr. Wrong
14:52but he's be sound like a foreign person
14:54who?
14:55Mr. Wrong
14:57don't take any notice of them Anna
15:00what I mean is
15:01when I get married it must be for love
15:03you don't have to live with him
15:06all you gotta do is get a British passport by getting married
15:10then after a couple of months you get a divorce
15:13who's gonna agree to marry me for a couple of months?
15:16plenty people
15:18hey now let's think of somebody
15:20first he's got to be English
15:23that's right
15:24and a little bit stupid
15:26somebody simple huh?
15:29who we can twist round our little finger?
15:31it is impossible
15:33God will find a way
15:35tell me where is God going to find a stupid simple Englishman whom we can twist round our little finger?
15:41dear
15:46dear
15:47what was that one?
15:50sorry
15:51nothing nothing
15:52now about your homework
15:54hey professori
15:55after class we invite you to the pub for a drink huh?
15:58oh that's very kind of you
15:59good
16:00but I'm afraid I've got rather a lot of work to do
16:01awww
16:02you must come bosh
16:03we will be so disappointed if you do not come
16:06ah well
16:07if you put it like that
16:08how can I resist?
16:17now don't forget
16:18we give Mr Brown plenty of the soft soap
16:21hey
16:22what is the soft soap?
16:23the flannel
16:25soft soap flannel
16:26is he going to have a bath?
16:28I think he means we are going to be getting Mr Brown in a good mood
16:33eh
16:34why don't you speak the better English?
16:36hey I think they're coming back
16:37ok ok
16:38ok
16:39now not to worry Anna
16:40we fix you up
16:41huh?
16:42there we are then
16:43who ordered what sorts?
16:44ah
16:45that's a good one
16:46nice wine
16:47nice wine
16:48nice
16:49nice
16:50nice
16:51eh
16:52professori
16:53you sit here next to Anna huh?
16:54alright thank you
16:55alright
16:56now what shall we drink to?
16:57to the future
16:58to the future
16:59ah
17:00salute
17:01you ever think about the future professori?
17:06sometimes
17:07you ever think of getting married Bosch?
17:09not really
17:10eh
17:11every man should be married
17:12especially to a woman
17:14you're not living by yourself?
17:18men no
17:19not meant to live by
17:21parade
17:22alone
17:23it is not natural
17:24men and women are made for each other
17:27in China
17:28we brief it is duty of every citizen to marry and produce riddle citizen
17:33you are missing a lot of nice pleasures
17:36you're all very concerned to get me married off
17:39we are only wanting you to be happy
17:41well I'm quite happy as I am thank you
17:43what about you Anna?
17:44you haven't said anything yet
17:45or are you against marriage?
17:46oh no I would like to be married
17:48I can't understand why she's not married already
17:52such a beautiful girl eh professori?
17:55pardon?
17:58that Anna she's a beautiful girl
18:02yes yes
18:07yes yes
18:08yes yes
18:09one day she's gonna make somebody a nice wife
18:11she's a wonderful cook
18:13ah good with the house cleaning
18:15kind hearted
18:16very carefully the money
18:19how is that all?
18:20faithful
18:21a man would be lucky to have such wife
18:23I smell something fishy
18:25oh blimey
18:26it must be the curried prawn I'm having for lunch
18:30no I'm not stupid
18:31this has something to do with you Anna
18:33am I right?
18:34yeah
18:35yeah
18:36okay we tell you the truth professori
18:37Anna is in the big trouble
18:41she?
18:42she's got to get married
18:44oh well
18:48got to
18:49sure boss
18:50there is no other way
18:51Miss Courtney was right then
18:53Miss Courtney knows about Anna
18:54well she suspected correctly as it turns out
18:58can you know me help her Master G?
19:00well I'll do my best
19:01now listen Anna
19:02do you know who's responsible for your condition?
19:04yeah
19:05good who is it?
19:06the Home Secretary
19:14I beg your pardon?
19:16he is the one
19:17you sure?
19:18yeah I'm sure
19:19you must be mistaken
19:20no he is the one
19:22well I'm afraid he must have been lying
19:24who was lying?
19:25well this person who told you that he was the Home Secretary
19:27what person?
19:28well the person who put you in the state you are in
19:31yeah as a Home Secretary
19:34he couldn't have been the Home Secretary
19:36it was
19:37my girlfriend Eva is in the same boat with me
19:40yeah
19:43you mean your girlfriend is also in your condition?
19:45yeah
19:46both of you were in the same boat with the Home Secretary
19:49yeah
19:51I can't believe it
19:52it's true
19:53Eva has written to him but he says her visa cannot be extended
19:59and also his ending
20:00that is why I must get married with an Englishman
20:02just a minute
20:03you mean you want to get married to stay in the country?
20:05yeah
20:06and for no other reason?
20:08nein
20:09oh well thank goodness for that
20:12okey cokey when do we fix the wedding?
20:14there won't be a wedding
20:15aww
20:17shh look Anna
20:18much as I sympathise with your predicament
20:20I can't marry you
20:21it wouldn't be right
20:22I may be old fashioned
20:23but I believe that people should marry for love
20:26and not merely as a matter of convenience
20:28yeah
20:29you're right
20:31excuse me
20:32I've got to fix my face
20:34honestly I'm surprised at you lot
20:40concocting a stupid idea like that
20:42we only wanted to help Anna
20:44we feel very sorry for her
20:46yeah well I'm sure you meant well
20:47oh cheers
20:48come on I'll get some more drinks
20:49poor Anna
20:50poor Anna
20:51she's going to be very sad
20:52yeah
20:53we have to fix something Giovanni
20:55hey I got it Maxi
20:56we get him drunk
20:57oh we get drunk
20:58professori
21:09then tomorrow we not remember anything
21:11and we tell him he agreed to marry Anna
21:15in here tonight in front of the witnesses
21:18Anna will never agree to that
21:20sure she will
21:21how you know
21:22we get her drunk as well
21:24anything Mr Brown?
21:34not particularly
21:36feeling under the weather?
21:37just a bit
21:38I had a bit too much to drink last night
21:39ah
21:40buona sera professori
21:41ah
21:42believe me
21:43how you feeling Mosh?
21:44terrible
21:45last night you were a very happy man
21:46was I?
21:47I don't remember
21:48you not to remember dancing on the table?
21:50I didn't
21:52you did?
21:53with Hannah
21:54just after you asked her to marry you
21:56yeah
21:57well I'm afraid I'd
21:59what did you say I did?
22:01you ask Anna to marry you
22:03oh no
22:04oh yes
22:05you say you felt sorry for her
22:07you don't want her to go back to Germany
22:09so you tell her you marry her
22:11are you sure?
22:12positive
22:13she's gonna fix the date tonight
22:15you're a very lucky man
22:17ta-da-ta
22:18ta-da-da-ra- da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da da da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daaaaa...
22:23da ta-da-da-да
22:25McCarthy
22:26congratulations
22:27I don't want congratulations
22:28well come to think of it getting spliced is more of an occasion
22:31for mourning
22:32I am not getting married
22:35They seem to think you are
22:37they are wrong
22:38and I'm going to
22:39tell them so
22:40oh
22:41right now any places everybody listen please I've got something to tell you about
22:48ah just the person I want to see Mr Brown what can I say to you yeah well I'd rather you didn't
22:54say anything what you did last night was wunderbar yeah well it's about last night
22:58I will never forget it Anna will you listen to me but I cannot let you marry me yeah well I may
23:02have had one or two more what did you say I cannot let you marry me there's no need you mean you
23:08found somebody else I telephone home secretary he can't marry you he's already got a wife I phone
23:14about my visa and he tells me I can stay because I'm part of common markets that is good news how
23:22can I thank you for your kind offer oh well that was nothing would you have actually done this thing
23:28yes I mean that's what friends are for wunderbar you will like Eva pardon my friend she is from
23:36East Germany so she's not in common markets Eva
23:47this is Mr Brown my leaves and come to a
24:06you know I'm going to have a
24:11I'm going to have a
24:15I'm going to have a