- 7 months ago
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00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:32Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:34Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:38Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:40Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:44Enter.
00:46I brought you some coffee, Miss Courtney.
00:48I shan't be wanting it this morning, thank you Gladys.
00:50I have to be at the court in half an hour.
00:52Tennis court?
00:54Magistrates.
00:56Oh, my goodness. What have you done?
00:58I haven't done anything.
01:00I am on the bench. I am a JP.
01:02Oh, very nice.
01:04Any juicy bits?
01:06I beg your pardon.
01:08Well, you know, like you read in the Sunday papers,
01:10husband finds wife in bed with lover.
01:12No, Gladys.
01:14Just the usual amount of football hooligans
01:16and drunken disorderly, that sort of thing.
01:20Enter. Thank you, Gladys.
01:22I brought the stock room keys back.
01:24Well, you'd better hang on to them, Sydney.
01:26I shan't want them today.
01:28She's in court.
01:30Court what?
01:32Court!
01:34Have you been nicked?
01:36I've got a friend of mine to defend you,
01:38and if he can't get you off, he'll bang a few quid to the JP.
01:42Most of them are bent.
01:44I am a JP.
01:46I was only joking.
01:48Well, I sincerely hope you were.
01:50I'll see you two tomorrow.
01:52Yeah, well, don't be too hard on anyone, will you?
01:54Remember, a person is innocent until he's proved guilty.
01:58Yes.
01:59Well, I have often thought that should be the other way round.
02:01Well, you should know best.
02:05Oh, I'd hate to come up before her.
02:07Me neither.
02:08With people like her on the bench,
02:10no wonder they demolished the death sentence.
02:12Oh!
02:25Case number one has been put back until after lunch.
02:27Oh, very well.
02:29Let's get on with it.
02:31Court case number two.
02:32Court case number two.
02:38Good heavens.
02:55Miss Courtney, what are you doing here?
02:57I am the presiding magistrate.
02:59Oh, blimey.
03:00We are being in luck.
03:02We are born to be getting off scotty-free.
03:05I ain't in court.
03:07I take it you know these people, Miss Courtney?
03:09I most certainly do.
03:10Well, are you sure you won't be prejudiced in their favour?
03:12If I am prejudiced, it certainly won't be in their favour.
03:16Inspector, isn't it a little unusual
03:18for the police to bring so many defendants
03:20before the bench at one time?
03:22The dock seems a little overloaded.
03:24The case is rather unusual, madam.
03:27The accused, though acting individually,
03:30did in fact commit the offences collectively.
03:33I see.
03:36What are the charges?
03:38Miss Chung Soo Lee and Mr. Taro Nagazumi inciting a riot.
03:42I demand diplomatic immunity!
03:44Silence!
03:45There you are.
03:46Mr. Giovanni Cupello and Miss Daniel Favre disturbing the peace.
03:50Mr. Ranjit Singh and Mrs. Jamila Ranjaf causing an affray.
03:55Please.
03:56I'm not understanding what he's meaning.
03:58And I am nobody understand all so much that he...
04:01But he's reading out the charges.
04:03You mean we are having to pay for being here?
04:07More than likely.
04:08Will you please be quiet?
04:10Sorry.
04:11Mr. Ali Nadim and Miss Anna Schmidt causing a public nuisance.
04:15Mr. Juan Cervantes and Mr. Maximilian Papandrios assaulting a police officer.
04:21He assault us first.
04:23Yes.
04:24He hit my fist with his jaw.
04:30Another remark like that.
04:31I shall hold you in contempt.
04:33Por favor.
04:34Speak when you are spoken to, Juan.
04:36Sorry.
04:37Wrong number.
04:38Carry on with the charges.
04:39That's all.
04:40What about Mr. Brown?
04:42Oh, I'm not charged with anything.
04:43What are you doing in the dock?
04:45I've come here to speak on their behalf.
04:47He's our mouth-a-piece.
04:49Sure.
04:50He's going to spring us.
04:55You see, Miss Courtney...
04:56Stop.
04:57You must come down onto the floor of the court if you wish to address the bench.
05:01Oh, right.
05:08You see, Miss Courtney...
05:09Stop.
05:10I am not Miss Courtney.
05:11Funny.
05:12Funny.
05:13She looked like Miss Courtney.
05:14You will kindly address me as your honour.
05:18Sorry, Miss Courtney.
05:19Your honour.
05:20But there are mitigating circumstances and I'm sure that when you've heard what these students
05:24have to say, you will decide to act leniently.
05:27We'll see about that after we have heard the explanation.
05:30Yes.
05:31Well, it all happened last Friday evening after class.
05:34As part of their homework, I decided to give the students various tasks to perform,
05:38things to do, places to visit.
05:40Su Li in terror.
05:41Would you tell the court what happened in your case?
05:43Take the stand, please.
05:50Take the book in your right hand and read what's on the cart.
05:53No.
05:54Are you saying that you are not going to tell the truth?
05:55The Republic of China not brief in Christian religion.
05:56What do you believe in?
05:57Chairman Mao.
05:58Very well.
05:59Do you swear by Chairman Mao that the evidence you give should be the truth and the whole truth
06:05and nothing but the truth?
06:06In Democratic Republic of China there's no loom for eyes.
06:07Cloth is absolute.
06:08So say Chairman Mao.
06:09I think we can accept that as an affirmation.
06:10Proceed.
06:11Task Mr. Blount, Errol Kate to Tullo and me is visit Speaker's Corner in Hyde Park to observe
06:12Olitas.
06:13I say to you again, ladies and gentlemen.
06:14Do not be deceived by assurances of a so-called change of attitude in China.
06:15Very well.
06:16Do you swear by Chairman Mao that the evidence you give should be the truth and the whole
06:19truth and nothing but the truth?
06:20In Democratic Republic of China there's no loom for eyes.
06:23Cloth is absolute.
06:24So say Chairman Mao.
06:25I think we can accept that as an affirmation.
06:29Proceed.
06:30Task Mr. Blount, Errol Kate to Tullo and me is visit Speaker's Corner in Hyde Park to observe
06:36Olitas.
06:37I say to you again, ladies and gentlemen.
06:39Do not be deceived by assurances of a so-called change of attitude in China.
06:44They are still governed by dictators.
06:47The people are still oppressed.
06:49Labbish.
06:50It is not.
06:51China is still an aggressive nation.
06:56It is Western imperialists who are aggressors.
06:59China is still a free democracy.
07:02Now who's talking rubbish?
07:03You are.
07:04If you don't like it over here, get back to where you came from.
07:07Don't speak like that to my friend.
07:09You are ignorant capiteries ratty.
07:12You are.
07:13Now calm down.
07:14If you wasn't a lady, I'd thump you.
07:16I have news for you.
07:18I am no rabies.
07:29You see, it was a political act of self-defence.
07:36Not our fault.
07:37You may stand down.
07:39Who's next?
07:40Mr. Giovanni Capello and Miss Favreau.
07:44Take the book in your right hand and read what's on the card.
07:48Not a likely.
07:50I'm not a swear on a Protestant Bible.
07:53We are Catholics.
07:54I swear by the Pope.
07:56Give him a Catholic Bible.
08:00Okey-cokey.
08:01I promise I'm gonna tell all of the truth.
08:05Me too.
08:07Carry on.
08:09Your Honour, is the like of this?
08:15Mr. Brown asked us to visit television studios
08:18to see how television programmes are made.
08:27Oi.
08:28Yes?
08:29Where do you think you're going?
08:30We got to have a look round.
08:32You're not allowed in here without a pass.
08:34But I'm sure you can look the other way.
08:36Rules are made to be broken, no?
08:38Not by me, no.
08:39But it's for our own work.
08:40Sorry.
08:53Hey!
08:54What's that down there?
08:55Where?
08:56Come on.
08:57Hey!
09:03What do we do now?
09:04We have a look round.
09:05Don't worry, nobody's gonna find us here.
09:07Let's go!
09:08Wait!
09:09Santa Maria!
09:10Oh dear!
09:15Quick!
09:16In here.
09:22Good afternoon and welcome to another edition of World of Sport.
09:25This afternoon on our search for Sporting Ancient...
09:27Excuse me.
09:28Oh dear!
09:29Oh dear!
09:30Oh dear!
09:31Oh dear!
09:32But which way do we go?
09:33Do you mind?
09:34I'm on air!
09:35Hey!
09:36I've seen you some place before.
09:37You don't have to look like that David Dickey!
09:41Dickey Davis you spaghetti!
09:42Oh that's right!
09:43Look I am Dickey Davis and I'm trying to do a programme!
09:46Come on!
09:47I'm very sorry about that but when the programme is live anything can happen can't it?
09:51As I was saying...
09:52David, can I have your autograph please?
09:53Thank you very much.
09:54Good evening ladies and gentlemen and welcome.
09:55My first guest tonight has flown across the Atlantic especially to be with us.
10:08I think perhaps he's best...
10:09Excuse me!
10:10Hey!
10:11Hey!
10:12Hey!
10:13Hey!
10:14I know you!
10:15It's a Michael Parkington!
10:17It's not a primo name, Bruce!
10:20Sorry!
10:21Oh my god!
10:22Oh my god!
10:41Oh my god!
10:42Oh my god!
10:43Oh my god!
10:44Oh my god!
10:45Oh my god!
10:46Oh my god!
10:47Yes!
10:48It's a Mr Brown's fault!
10:49Oh my god!
10:50Your honour!
10:54I rest-a my bag!
10:56Look!
10:57Look!
10:58Look!
10:59Don't you bother you rest your case!
11:00Okie gokie!
11:01I rest-a my bag and-a my case!
11:04Silence!
11:05Now there is far too much levity in this courtroom.
11:09We will now take a short break.
11:11And when we come back I shall hope for a little more respect.
11:14Otherwise the court will be clear.
11:16Oh!
11:17Thank you!
11:18Oh my god!
11:19He knows...
11:20Oh my god!
11:21Oh my god!
11:23Oh my god!
11:24Oh my god!
11:27Can we have the next defendants please?
11:29Mr Sing and Mrs Runger.
11:30can we have the next defendants please mr. Singh and mrs. Runger what do you swear on I never
11:48swear against my religion he has been mean swear on holy book thousand apologies I'm swearing by
11:57the Guru Granth Sahib no I am be swear by Almighty God I am be swear to tell the obsolete truth and
12:20nothing but the obsolete truth carry on master G is asked us for our homey work to be dead boat on
12:30River Themis and we complain when the weather is fine then you know it's a sign for messing about on
12:42the river if you take my right that's very simple it's for to go forward and backwards to go back what
12:53about if you want to go sideways I think I am busy sir you really want to hire this boat most
13:01definitely all right switch on I've passed off don't put it in gear
13:06I'm just stopping again the handle is being stopped
13:15wait
13:16oh
13:16oh
13:17oh
13:19oh
13:21oh
13:22oh
13:23oh
13:24oh
13:25oh
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14:00oh
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14:04oh
14:05oh
14:06Stand down.
14:20Who's next?
14:31Take the book in your right hand and read what's on the cart.
14:34Por favor.
14:36Sure, we tell the truth.
14:37Si, si, si.
14:40I tell you what happened.
14:41No, no. I tell.
14:42No, no, no, no, no. I speak good, better English.
14:45No, I speak better English.
14:47Then you speak better English.
14:54Tell the court what happened, Mr. Cervantes.
14:57Si, senora.
14:58And Mr. Brown, he tell us to go and see the wax wax.
15:05Wax wax?
15:07She say, I tell, not you.
15:13Okay.
15:15So we go to Madame Toussaint.
15:18Hey.
15:19I tell you what we do.
15:20You take the photo of me with the British royal son.
15:21Okay.
15:22Which way we go?
15:23We ask.
15:24Where we find the royal son.
15:25We want the queen.
15:26Hey, what's the man?
15:27You're dead?
15:28He's a wax man.
15:29He's a wax man.
15:30Looks like a real man.
15:31Hey, look.
15:32Here's another.
15:33Ah, he don't look.
15:34Very nice.
15:35I don't.
15:36But the keys.
15:37Nothing and this woman's been cualquier thing else.
15:38That's not who you are safe.
15:39We want the crown son.
15:41Toughling and
15:55only cleanly.
15:56There, yes.
15:57That's a shining andiverso.
15:58He looks like a dumb.
16:00How'd they get moustache?
16:03Good.
16:04It's a spickin' dolly.
16:09Can I help you, gentlemen?
16:12You're a real man.
16:14Yes.
16:15Including the moustache.
16:17We are looking for the royal family.
16:19I'm going to have the picture taken with the queen.
16:24I'm in awe.
16:25Members of the public are not allowed to touch the exhibits.
16:29That's right.
16:31We know that nobody should.
16:32Thank you very much.
16:34Unfortunately, you are too late.
16:35We are about to close.
16:37You will find the exit that way.
16:49We better go.
16:50Now, I want the picture with the queen and prince, Philip.
16:55We go that way.
17:00Ah.
17:01There they are.
17:02Now, I go front.
17:03You take picture.
17:04Okay.
17:05But be quick.
17:07All right.
17:08Watch the bird.
17:11I'll just check in here.
17:12All right.
17:34Ash!
17:34Come on, you two.
17:58That's all.
17:59It's quite enough.
18:01You may stand down.
18:02Mr. Nadim and Miss Schmidt.
18:08I swear by Almighty God that the evidence I shall give
18:11shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
18:14And what about you?
18:16Oh, blimey.
18:18I'm also swearing, but by the Holy Quran.
18:21Oh, yes.
18:30Proceed, please.
18:32Jelly good.
18:33Teacher is tolding us to be visiting...
18:36I am not tolding you anything, Ali.
18:38Oh, yes, please.
18:39I was being there when you were tolding us.
18:42There's no such word as tolding.
18:44Teacher is right.
18:45Thank you, Anna.
18:46Mr. Brown telled us.
18:48The past participle of the verb to tell is told.
18:53Mr. Brown, may I remind you that you are not here to teach English?
19:00Yes, Miss Courtney.
19:01Sorry, Your Honour.
19:03Carry on, Mr. Nadim.
19:05Jelly good.
19:06Mr. Brown told us to be visiting the zoo.
19:09We saw all the animals and on the way out, Ali decided he wanted to ride on the elephant.
19:14See the elephant with the long trunk swinging.
19:17The great big ears and the long trunk swinging.
19:19Sniffing up the peanuts and the long trunk swinging.
19:21He can stay all day.
19:22We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo.
19:24How about...
19:25Squeeze me, please.
19:26We are wanting to have a ride on elephant.
19:28Ah, jeez.
19:31Would you like a hearty dog?
19:33What?
19:34You were saying your cheese is hard, so I'm offering you my hearty dog.
19:41Fight on to the start again.
19:42They would like a ride on the elephant.
19:44Well, you can't.
19:45Why not?
19:46You are not allowed on the elephant without a keeper.
19:49We are wanting to be riding on elephant, not the keeper.
19:52How would the keeper be back?
19:54I've no idea.
19:55You go for keeper.
19:57No, I go for paint.
19:59You come too, too, too.
20:01We're going to the zoo, zoo, zoo.
20:03Hello, hello, hello.
20:04Oh, it is an Indian elephant.
20:06How do you know that?
20:07It has a bigger head and longer nose.
20:10Oh, blimey.
20:11It is pinching my hearty dog.
20:14Hey, ah, but...
20:16What are you doing?
20:17We are going to be riding on elephant.
20:19No, the eventual keeper.
20:21Don't worry.
20:22I know everything about elephant.
20:23Please be getting up.
20:24It may be dangerous.
20:25Oh, no.
20:26Indian elephants are most peaceful people.
20:28Oh.
20:29We are only going to be sitting.
20:31Climb, please.
20:32Climb.
20:33Hey.
20:34Come, Ali.
20:35Oh.
20:36Ha, ha, ha, ha.
20:38You are very high.
20:39Oh, yes.
20:40When I was being a little boy in Delhi, I used to ride elephant.
20:45Oh, yeah.
20:46Oh, yes.
20:47To be going on left side, you're pulling left here.
20:50Yeah.
20:51To be going on the rightwards, you're pulling right here.
20:54And to be stopping, you're pulling both here.
20:57What about starting?
20:59To be starting, you bang on head.
21:00It's a move, it's a move.
21:01We're in kingdom.
21:02We go, Ali.
21:03Oh, brahimi.
21:04Oh, brahimi.
21:05Help, please.
21:06Help, please.
21:07Help, please.
21:08Help.
21:09Help.
21:10Help.
21:11Help.
21:12Help.
21:13Help.
21:14Help.
21:15Help.
21:16Help.
21:17Help.
21:18Help.
21:19Help.
21:20Help.
21:22Help.
21:24How about this?
21:26Oh, no.
21:27what happened to the elephant it went for a boss in the lake unfortunately we are still sitting on
21:39it you may stand down mr. brown have you anything to say before i give judgment yes miss courtney
21:47uh yes your honor i beg the court to show clemency in this case these poor unfortunate
21:53people are guests in our country they have journeyed from their native lands to our shores to learn our
21:59mother tongue why because they admire our english way of life with its long tradition of hospitality
22:05free speech justice and above all fair play they have committed no offense in their eyes
22:11they were merely carrying out their duties as they saw them but only has to look at them to see that
22:15they are not criminals i'm sure the court will find them innocent if anyone is guilty it is
22:23on thank you petrocelli
22:35well having regard to your impassioned plea for mercy the court tends to agree with your remarks
22:40the accused are more misguided than mischievous therefore the court finds the defendants not guilty
22:47the court agrees with mr brown that if anyone is guilty he is to have sent out these poor unfortunate
22:57students on such foolhardy errands is highly irresponsible it is a pity that the court cannot
23:03punish you but be warned mr brown if you ever come before this bench again for whatever reason you will be
23:11severely dealt with the court will adjourn
23:14i'm sorry you want to come for a drink oh no thanks i'm driving
23:27is this your car sir yes having trouble with your memory are you sir pardon your road tax disc
23:47has run out sir ah well i'm sure i've applied for it what's going on constable jones another tax
23:53dodger madam really well while you're at it constable why don't you check his lights
23:59and his tires how about his insurance i shall be sitting again tomorrow
24:15so
24:22but
24:30so