- hace 3 meses
KAOS has planted a listening device in what appears to be an ordinary olive. The olive, however, is inadvertently consumed by a country and western singing star.
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00:00you don't know me i don't know you max the chief has a very dangerous assignment for you
00:26max max max i beg your pardon miss i don't believe we've met i meant pretend you don't
00:34know me as far as everyone else is concerned and use a newspaper people can see your lips moving
00:39now listen very carefully max you must memorize this chaos has a secret lab in this hotel
00:48they're receiving information about the nerve gas formula from behind the iron curtain
00:52the device used for receiving the information is a tiny amplifier built in an olive with a pimento
00:57a controlled double agent posing as a waiter has stolen the olive now without it work on the nerve
01:03gas will come to a stop you got that not all of it what part didn't you get the part after you must
01:08memorize this max well what does this double agent look like i don't know max you'll have to try the
01:16password on every waiter until you find him well what's the password you say pussycat pussycat where
01:22have you been and he'll answer i've been to london to visit the queen pussycat pussycat where have
01:29you been right max now let me get this straight i walk up to every waiter i see and i say pussycat pussycat
01:36where have you been that's right max you're right this is a dangerous assignment
01:41oh
01:44no
01:48no
01:52no
01:53no
01:55no
01:56no
02:01Oh, my God.
02:31Listen, bud.
02:38I don't like people to look at me funny.
02:40Well, if you don't like the way I'm looking at you, you're going to hate what I'm going to say to you.
02:44Besides, you don't look like the type that would go to England to visit the Queen.
02:49Pussycat?
02:50Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?
02:52I've been to London to visit the Queen.
02:54Really?
02:55Would you mind putting me down now?
03:01Here it is.
03:02When you push the pimento this way, it becomes a receiver.
03:05And when you push it the other way, what does it become?
03:08A pimento.
03:11Now, be very careful.
03:12It's got a very loud speaker in it.
03:14You've done a good job, pussycat.
03:17Wait, tell the chief he's got to take me off this duty.
03:20I just can't be a double agent anymore.
03:22My nerves can't take it.
03:25There, there, there now.
03:27Take it easy.
03:28No need to get all upset.
03:30Besides, I think I've found your trouble.
03:32You've got a knife in your back.
03:33Come on.
03:34Come on.
03:54Come on.
05:25Hold it. Don't anybody move.
05:36Sorry, gang. I don't usually bust in on people like this and squeeze their olives.
05:39But this is an emergency.
05:43Where's your olive? Don't tell me you swallowed it.
05:46I swallowed it.
05:48I asked you not to tell me that.
05:50Well, my dear, that may have been the costliest gulp in the course of human history.
05:57What do you mean by that crack?
05:59I'm not at liberty to say what I mean by that crack.
06:03Pardon me.
06:03Hello, Chief.
06:17Boy, there are stranger ones in the city than in the country.
06:21Don't worry, Chief. I won't let her out of my sight.
06:24She's leaving. I gotta go.
06:25Oh, you fools, dumb cops, sissies!
06:46You let the control double agent steal the olive right out from under your stupid noses!
06:54God, under, schleifsten, colonel!
06:56The minute I go away, everything goes kaplut!
07:00You were here all the time.
07:01You're not making it any easier on yourself, Shtarka.
07:05If X-40 does not get the olive back, we have no way of receiving the final formula from Popovich!
07:11I thought the nerve gas was perfected.
07:13Without the final formula, we can only control the emotions of the female.
07:19What's that?
07:20There must be X-40 calling in.
07:22Who will hear me on this frequency?
07:25You'll be heard on X-40's wristwatch and on the missing olive.
07:28X-40 better be calling in to say yes, recover to all of your oils.
07:34You better give it time to warm up.
07:41Now it's ready.
07:42Hello!
07:45Howdy?
07:46Is that you, Siegfried?
07:49No.
07:50It's me, Annie.
07:52Who are you?
07:55Where are you?
07:58What is this?
08:04Am I on candid camera?
08:07Wait, Sammy, where are you?
08:10I ain't telling you.
08:12You just get out of here the way you got in.
08:15I'm hit.
08:16Control agent 86 shot me.
08:19What happened to the olive receiver?
08:21Without it, the chemists get published with your sick contract bookers.
08:25Somebody swallowed it.
08:26What are you doing in there?
08:32Get out of there!
08:35Get back here immediately.
08:37Goodbye.
08:37Pardon me, miss.
08:47Could I speak to you for a minute?
08:49No.
08:49Good.
08:50Now listen to me and listen very carefully.
08:52Your life is in great danger.
08:54You've accidentally swallowed a chaos communications device.
08:58You'll just put yourself in my hands.
09:01Everything will be all right.
09:03Oh, sure.
09:04Now, wait a minute.
09:06I happen to be a secret agent.
09:15You're kidding.
09:16What's so hard to believe about that?
09:18Well, face it.
09:19You ain't no Sean O'Connery.
09:21You know, all handsome and confident.
09:24Well, just take a look into the mirror, Puddin'.
09:27Yes.
09:29Well, I happen to be very proud of this disguise.
09:32Disguise?
09:34Actually, I'm a powerfully built, handsome, blonde giant with sun-bronze skin, wide-set eyes, and a dimple in my chin.
09:42Let me see.
09:43Well, that would take hours.
09:45Right now, you're to come to my apartment with me.
09:48Uh-huh.
09:49I think I'll take my chances with that, uh, chaos bunch.
09:53Siegfried X-40.
09:55Find out who has swallowed all of, um, cut it out of them.
10:01Reckon I'll take my chances with you.
10:04Hey, you know, I ain't never been in a real spy's apartment before.
10:26I brought you here to be sure you're safe.
10:34Hey, you're mighty rugged.
10:57Come on, turn into that handsome fella with the dimples.
11:01Shh.
11:13Okay.
11:15Boy, I bet everything in here looks different from what it is.
11:19Like you.
11:21That's right.
11:22For example, take this vase.
11:25Now, you use this if you want to hit someone who's standing behind you.
11:28You're pulling my lariat.
11:31Go ahead.
11:34Try it.
11:36Okay.
11:37Okay.
11:37You knew he was there all the time, didn't you?
12:04And you just wanted me to have the pleasure of doing it all by myself.
12:08Oh, I like you, Puddin'.
12:10You, uh, you gotta stay looking like this, huh?
12:15Yes, I'm afraid so.
12:18Now, here's something that might interest you.
12:21An invisible wall.
12:22An invisible wall?
12:24Boy, would I like to see that.
12:26Now, you see, you press this, and an invisible wall comes down in the middle of the room.
12:33War!
12:34War?
12:35Oh, the.
12:37Well, you can't really see it, but it's right over the there.
12:40There, the.
12:41It's in the middle of the room.
12:43It'll even stop a bullet.
12:45Wanna try?
12:46Sure.
12:46Where, where should I aim?
12:48Oh, just anywhere.
12:49Okay.
12:58You've done it again!
13:00You are cute!
13:02Excuse me.
13:03Very bad job of engineering.
13:22This is the control for the invisible wall.
13:25This is the remote control for my television set.
13:28There.
13:29The wall's down now.
13:33Would you mind pressing that button?
13:51Hello?
13:52Oh, hi there, Chief.
13:54Uh, yes, I have the outlet.
13:56Eh, well, there's one little complication, Chief.
13:59It's inside the girl.
14:01Eh, yes, well, you better send over a doctor.
14:04Dr. McTavish.
14:05Right, Chief.
14:09Well, we ain't got a little while to kill.
14:11Well, it sure seems a shame to just stand around here doing nothing till then.
14:18Yes, it certainly does.
14:20Uh, you wanna do something?
14:22You got something in mind?
14:24Well, it's a matter of fact, I do.
14:28For the both of us?
14:30Well, what I have in mind wouldn't be any fun for just one.
14:35Eh, eh.
14:38Would you like to sit down on the couch?
14:40Sure.
14:56Trumpy?
14:56Mm-hmm.
14:57Sure am, Puddin'.
14:59Okay.
15:02You want a deal or shall I?
15:03That is gingy-boo.
15:16Ah, that must be the doctor.
15:18Remember, you owe me 30 cents.
15:19Dr. McTavish?
15:33Hootman.
15:36Where is the wee lassie with the olive in her stomach?
15:40Just a minute, doctor.
15:41That's a very strange accent you've got there.
15:44You noticed?
15:44I certainly did.
15:46Very perceptive.
15:47I was born in Edinburgh, but I studied in Heidelberg.
15:52Well, that explains.
15:53Patient's right over there, doc.
15:54Open wide, please.
16:02Ah.
16:03Ah, just as I thought.
16:05We have to get you to a hospital.
16:07I have an ambulance downstairs.
16:08Just a minute.
16:14Very clever.
16:16Siegfried McTavish?
16:18How did you know I wasn't a doctor?
16:21Very simple.
16:22You went right to the patient without even complaining about having to make a house call.
16:28You can close your mouth now, Annie.
16:31Thanks.
16:34All right, smart.
16:35You can put your gun away now.
16:37It's no use.
16:38My men are all around you in this room.
16:44All right.
16:46Kurt!
16:47Hans!
16:48Godzilla!
16:49Geselländer schenkt für den Unterkunft!
16:52Uh, fellows?
16:58Oh, boy.
17:00Sorry, Siegfried.
17:02But we've already exterminated the rats that you infested this place with.
17:06That's telling them, Puddin'.
17:07Now, that wasn't better.
17:27Sorry about that, Puddin'.
17:28Thank you, my dear.
17:31It will be touching having to kill you after this favor.
17:36But first, goodbye, Maxwell Schmerd.
17:41I said a turn, Schmerd.
17:54I said a turn, Schmerd.
17:54Would you mind pushing that button again?
18:04I think we'd better get back to control.
18:07Yeah.
18:08You'll be safe there.
18:09According to schedule, he's coming out the big way.
18:24Schmerd does not realize I have the remote control activator for the ejection seat of his car.
18:30Schmerd does not say they're good enough to sell you.
18:32Get ready.
18:43Boat out!
18:46Come on.
18:46Come on.
18:46Come on.
18:47Come on.
18:52Come on.
18:52Come on.
18:53Come on.
18:54Come on.
18:56Come on.
18:57Come on.
18:57Come on.
18:58Come on.
18:59Come on.
19:00Control Intelligence reports that they brought her back to a secret laboratory in this hotel.
19:05But where?
19:06I can just see Siegfried sitting up there gloating.
19:08You don't happen to see his room number, do you?
19:10No, of course.
19:11But if I know Siegfried, he's up there stuffing his face with food.
19:15Wait a minute, 99.
19:16That's it.
19:17You've got it.
19:17What have I got?
19:19Max, if I've got it, I have a right to know what it is.
19:2299, you've just given me a brilliant idea.
19:24Come on.
19:28Hello, room service, please.
19:30Max, room service won't deliver to the lobby.
19:32Room service?
19:34And a room service?
19:35What's going on down there?
19:36I ordered hours ago.
19:38When I order, you will deliver immediately.
19:40I don't understand, sir.
19:41All our deliveries went out.
19:43Well, there is mine.
19:44I ordered Knockwurst, Brockwurst, Liverwurst, Fried sauerkraut, and a pruned Danish.
19:49I see it on the list.
19:50But the only order we had for Brockwurst, Knockwurst, Liverwurst, sauerkraut, and a pruned Danish was already delivered to room 602.
19:57What room are you in?
19:58Never mind.
20:00I'm not hungry.
20:02He gave me the room number.
20:03Max, that was brilliant.
20:05Oh, not really, 99.
20:07It reminded me of an old trick I used years ago in the Oppenheimer case.
20:11You see, I remember that Oppenheimer was very fond of a jelly donut on rye toast with gravy.
20:15Well, the chief was old for storming room 401.
20:19But I was positive that Oppenheimer was in room 802.
20:23Carlson, on the other hand, thought that he was in 903.
20:26Which was it?
20:26401, 802, or 903?
20:29I called a room service, and it confirmed my opinion.
20:31It proved that Oppenheimer was in room 802 just as surely as Siegfried is in room...
20:38Room service, please.
20:45Practically no interference.
20:51Madam, you have a very quiet stomach.
20:53And this room is the fear gas chamber.
20:58We are safe being in here?
21:00Yeah, it only works on females.
21:02You've seen for yourself.
21:03Yeah.
21:04In the romance gas room, the female rabbits are chasing the male rabbits.
21:10And here, the female rabbits are shrinking from the male rabbits.
21:15And in both rooms, the male rabbits are just sitting around trying to figure out what the heck it's all about.
21:22In Mikael Popovich's final formula, it will work on all sexes of every kind.
21:27Ah, between romance and fear, we could rule 8th of the world.
21:33Why not the whole world?
21:34Don't push it, Staka.
21:35This is Professor Popovich.
21:41Here is the final formula for the nerve gas.
21:45I will...
21:45Ah, cut it out!
21:48Well, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it.
21:52Precisely 23 degrees Fahrenheit.
21:57I'm a hiccup, and I will kill you right now.
22:01Wait, I know a sure cure for hiccups.
22:04What is it?
22:06Scare me.
22:10Boo!
22:13It worked.
22:17I'll shoot you right now.
22:20All right, chickpea, drop it.
22:36Hands up.
22:37Puddin', you're as welcome as a new rooster in a hen house.
22:40What kind of nonsense is taste there for of us and only one of him?
22:44Put on your hands, pull out your guns.
22:45He can only shoot one of us.
22:47You're the one.
22:48Please, everybody, hands up.
22:49Puddin', look out!
22:59Oh, Puddin', I'm so glad we...
23:02What is it?
23:06Come on, Puddin', what is it?
23:08What is it?
23:09Oh, Puddin', what is it?
23:12Come on, who you take?
23:13Oh, Puddin', what are you?
23:14Oh, Puddin', what are you?
23:18Annie.
23:20Annie.
23:20Annie.
23:20I'm not going to touch you, and I'm not going to hurt you.
23:37I just...
23:38Are you all right?
23:39Oh, I love you.
23:44What's the matter with you, Annie?
23:46I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
23:50Annie, Annie, stop it now.
23:51Just take it easy.
23:52Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.
23:53Annie, Annie, take it easy.
23:54Kiss me, kiss me.
23:55Annie, Annie, just take it easy now.
23:56You don't know what you're saying.
24:01Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me.
24:03Kiss me, kiss me.
24:03Annie, would you stop it?
24:04Get a hold of yourself.
24:05Siegfried is outside.
24:06We're liable to get killed.
24:08Kiss me, kiss me.
24:10Max, where are you?
24:12Max, quick.
24:12The back way's clear.
24:13I'll cover for you.
24:14I love you.
24:14Kiss me, kiss me.
24:1599, the strangest thing has happened to Annie.
24:17Max, I love you, I love you.
24:18I love you, I love you.
24:19Kiss me.
24:33Kiss me, kiss me.
25:03Kiss me, kiss me.
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