The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:00Who you with?
00:16Hey, America, let me talk to y'all for a minute.
00:20Oh, we're about to be interrupted,
00:22because in about five seconds,
00:24Joy's gonna come home from school and yell,
00:27Hey, Uncle Brian, do we have anything to eat in here?
00:29Well, I ain't gonna ask him, because...
00:31Never mind, I got it.
00:33See, my point is, America,
00:34Bernie Mac knows what's going on in his house.
00:39Hey, honey, guess who's going to the senior prom?
00:43How can Junior go to the senior prom?
00:45I can go with one of the seniors who asked me.
00:47Seniors, plural.
00:50Then hail to the nose.
00:51Can they tell how young you are, Nessa?
00:53You ain't going on no doggone senior prom.
00:56Those boys on the prom night don't want number one thing.
00:58Come on, honey.
00:59Look, the prom is a high school girl's time to be a princess.
01:02Don't take that from her.
01:04I ain't trying to take nothing.
01:05I'm trying to help the girl keep it.
01:07Come on, that didn't happen to me on my prom.
01:09Woman, you went to a school with Academy in the name.
01:12These boys today got game.
01:14And I don't trust them.
01:15Well, when are you gonna trust me?
01:19America, I know Nessa,
01:20and I know she's not out there like that.
01:23But you have to understand,
01:24it's my job to stay in her business.
01:26And more importantly,
01:28to make sure she knows I'm staying in her business.
01:30See, when a father has a boy,
01:33he only has one penis to worry about.
01:35But when he has a girl,
01:37he has everybody's penis to worry about.
01:40See, it's part of my job.
01:43All right, Nessa.
01:44You can go on to prom.
01:46Only if I can meet all the boys.
01:48Why, so you can pry like you always do?
01:51If they ain't got nothing to hide,
01:53ain't nothing to worry about.
01:54Trust me.
01:57Okay.
02:00All right, easy, easy.
02:03I'll take it to the couch.
02:06Woman, what happened?
02:08Oh, honey, it's just a sprain.
02:09But you know what the good news is?
02:11She is MVP of the league championship.
02:14Easy, easy.
02:15Yeah.
02:15Hey there.
02:15I scored three goals.
02:17Three goals.
02:18Wow.
02:19Would you look at that MVP.
02:21Shoot, girl.
02:22You're almost as bad as that black guy
02:24to play on that pro soccer team.
02:25What's his name?
02:26Maybe the dude with the socks.
02:28I don't know.
02:31You okay, baby?
02:32But you know what?
02:33They said it's just her ankle.
02:34She just has to stay off of it for a while.
02:36Hmm.
02:39Hey, those are mine.
02:41Boy, show some respect for the MVP.
02:44But yeah, go in the kitchen.
02:45Make yourself useful.
02:46Bring back a soda.
02:47Whatever else you can find.
02:48Hurry up!
02:59So, Derek, have you stopped trying to have sex with my niece?
03:08Enjoy the prom, Vanessa.
03:10One down.
03:11Who's next?
03:12See, I told you he'd mess everything up.
03:15Now no one's gonna want to take me.
03:17Come on, honey.
03:18You're supposed to meet the boys, not scare them off.
03:20David is survival of the fittest.
03:22Me and nature are helping her choose.
03:24Honey, this is Vanessa's decision to make, okay?
03:27We want her to have some choices left.
03:30So crazy it down a notch.
03:36Hello, Mr. Mack.
03:37What's I wrong?
03:39Hmm.
03:39But I go by lemon lime and the industry.
03:42Is that right?
03:43Yeah.
03:43I'm a turntabless.
03:45Yeah.
03:46So, so, lemon lime.
03:48You the kind of cat that got all the kids squirming on the dance floor, right?
03:53Mr. Mack, you are the funniest brother in Hollywood.
03:57Everything you say is hilarious.
03:58Is that right?
04:00Is team pregnancy funny?
04:04Look here, man.
04:05I ain't trying to be funny.
04:06I'm trying to make a point, man.
04:11Yo, that's the face.
04:12You're doing the face.
04:13Hold on.
04:14Wait.
04:14Classic.
04:15Who you with?
04:22America.
04:23This boy has no natural fear.
04:25And Wanda tied my hand so I couldn't put it in him.
04:28You can't trust somebody who doesn't know when to be afraid.
04:31Who you with?
04:34And I ain't that funny.
04:37Jason, let me go through the restrictions on anyone who wants to take my niece to the prom.
04:41The two of them could never be alone.
04:43Not in the room.
04:44Not in the car.
04:45Not at the prom.
04:46Not after the prom.
04:48Not here.
04:48Not there.
04:49Not anywhere.
04:50That's not a problem, Mr. Mack.
04:52I keep pretty strict dating rules myself.
04:54For instance, I won't go into a girl's house if her parents aren't home.
04:57I believe in hands-free kissing and I only date in groups.
05:03What's the catch?
05:05I'm a Christian.
05:07I know a lot of people say that, but it's important for me to walk the walk.
05:12So that mean you, uh...
05:15No, no, no, no, no.
05:16I'm a Democrat.
05:18No, fool.
05:19I mean, you, uh...
05:25Oh, uh, yeah.
05:27A practicing one.
05:30Forget about scared him off.
05:32I actually want this one to stay.
05:34But I can't let Nessa know I like him or she'll pick Tyrone just to spite me.
05:40No, no.
05:41I gotta play this from the sideline and make sure Jason's the one she picks.
05:52Have you chosen a prom date yet?
05:54No.
05:55But if you must know, I'm leaning towards Tyrone.
05:58What was that?
06:01That's a pretty dress right there.
06:04Hmm.
06:05I like the other one better.
06:13She's leaning towards Tyrone.
06:15Well, the Mac man gotta make sure she leans towards Jason.
06:20Tyrone!
06:23Told you.
06:52You are so going to the prom with Tyrone.
06:55I hate you.
06:56This is so the O.C.
07:09America, I sold Tyrone short.
07:11That boy got smooth in his DNA.
07:14Now I trust him even less.
07:16I know he's the front runner.
07:18But see, I need to put Jason on top.
07:21America, let's just hope I'm not too late.
07:25It's from Danny.
07:26Princess, this is the hottest toy out, but I spare no expense for you.
07:32Get well and Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday.
07:36What's a Robo Sapien?
07:37Only the coolest biomorphic robot ever.
07:40It uses artificial intelligence developed by NASA.
07:51Oh, he can do so much more than that.
07:53Look, like a real martial arts move.
07:55Watch.
08:00I'll call him Robo Burp.
08:06You don't appreciate him.
08:08Give it back.
08:08Give it back.
08:09Give it back.
08:09It's mine.
08:10It's mine.
08:12Hey, hey, hey.
08:12Let go.
08:13Let go.
08:14Come on, you should be ashamed of yourself fighting your sister while she's hurt.
08:20Come on, we're supposed to take care of her until she gets better.
08:23Now behave, okay?
08:30Cosby was right about you people and your low expectations.
08:33Shut up and give me another soda.
08:40Look, I'm pulling for you, boy.
08:43But you falling so behind in this race, man, that's what I had to call you like last week just
08:46to tell you you know.
08:47Don't worry, Mr. Mack.
08:49My game's pretty tight.
08:50Is that right?
08:52Show me what you're working with.
08:53Okay.
08:54First, I make sure the girl sees me as a friend.
08:57Then I go in and I...
08:57Wait, wait, wait, wait.
08:58Don't tell me.
09:00You're going to come to her like her brother.
09:02Yeah, how'd you know?
09:03Son, if you do that, the next thing you know she's going to be coming to you for advice.
09:07Asking you about the guy she really like.
09:09Not again.
09:10Yeah, again.
09:12Look, luckily I'm your ace in the hole.
09:14I can help you get Nessa.
09:15I can tell you what she like, what she don't like.
09:17And I can especially tell you what makes her mad.
09:19I can help you get this girl, man.
09:21All you need is a little coaching.
09:23I don't know.
09:24It sounds like cheating.
09:26No more cheating when God help David beat Goliath.
09:29When God help the White Sox win the series.
09:31I don't think he helped them.
09:33Hey, hey.
09:34Yes, he did.
09:37Hey, Vanessa.
09:38You know, since I spin, I got all the jams.
09:41Just come by and dig through my crates sometime.
09:44Thanks.
09:45I'll think about it.
09:46You never know.
09:47I might just be the one, the one, the one.
09:53India, are you?
09:55I love her.
09:56Especially that last album.
09:57Oh, yeah.
09:58The one about relationships?
09:59Rip D.
10:01Most people think it's about relationships, but if you really listen, it's about knowing
10:05yourself first.
10:07Exactly.
10:28I've got this feeling that I need to express.
10:34Let it out so you don't have to.
10:48I know exactly who I'm going to the prom with.
10:50Hey, now we can double date with you and Tyrone.
10:52Actually, I decided to go with Jason.
10:54He seems to care about me more.
10:56And Tyrone just cared about the prom.
10:58I know.
10:58You know what I mean?
10:59Typical.
11:01Hey, do you think I can...
11:02I already told him to call you.
11:09Oh, Jason.
11:11What's up, baby?
11:12Man, congratulations.
11:13I just heard the news, man.
11:15You and Nessa.
11:16I want y'all to enjoy yourself on the prom.
11:18Actually, Mr. Mack, it's not that simple.
11:20Since my parents heard Vanessa wants to go with me, they want to meet...
11:23They want to meet Nessa.
11:24I be dumb.
11:25No, they want to meet you.
11:27What the hell they want to meet me for?
11:29Well, they're suspicious of Hollywood families.
11:31And they only know you from your movies, like Players Club, How to Be a Player, Bad Santa.
11:38Wow.
11:40Yeah, I see your point.
11:42Well, what about Ocean Eleven?
11:44They like that one?
11:45The one where you're part of a gang of thieves?
11:47No, they don't want to see that one.
11:49Ocean Twelve.
11:50That's a better one.
11:51The one where you're part of an international gang of thieves.
11:56Sweet Jesus.
11:59Damn.
12:00Don't worry, Mr. Mack.
12:01This time, I'll coach you.
12:05Damn.
12:08So, what denomination are you?
12:10Sir, we are Methodists.
12:12I mean, I'm a joke.
12:14No, that's my auntie.
12:15She's Catholic.
12:18No, Baptist.
12:19First Baptist.
12:21What's today's day?
12:23When you asked that question, exactly what do you mean?
12:25I think that she was baptized.
12:32No, that's when she got her shots.
12:35Yes, yes.
12:37I thought you might need this.
12:38Oh, thank you, son.
12:39That's a good boy.
12:41He's a real good boy.
12:46And Matthew 6, 33, sums up the philosophy in which we were discussing this evening.
12:56He's right.
12:58America, it's Nessa prom night.
13:00But I'm just as excited as she is because my plan worked.
13:04She chose Jason.
13:06And that means I won't spend all night worrying about what they're up to.
13:10Nope, not tonight.
13:11I'm just as relaxed as a father of an ugly fat girl.
13:15All right, kid, let me hear you say mac and cheese.
13:18Vanessa, over here.
13:19Come on, look this way.
13:20One more time over here.
13:21Come on.
13:21All right, one more time over here.
13:23Over here.
13:23Over here.
13:25That's Don and Tyrone with the limo.
13:27Let's go.
13:28Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait.
13:28I want you all to have a great time, okay?
13:31Remember when I told you, what would Jesus do?
13:35Finally, I couldn't see the TV.
13:38Jordan, my pillow's too cold.
13:40It's hurting my sprained foot.
13:41Did you hurt your foot or your ankle?
13:48Uncle Bernie!
13:51Is that better?
13:56Boy, she'll bring back memories, America.
14:01Look at...
14:02Uh-oh, uh-oh!
14:03I was fly, wasn't I America?
14:05Let me tell y'all something about the Mac man.
14:08You talk about running game on the ladies.
14:10See, I used to find out all about the girl I wanted to...
14:13You know.
14:14See, I learned what she liked, what she didn't like.
14:17Her hobbies.
14:18You name it.
14:20Come to think of, that's the same doggone thing I told Jason about in a lesson.
14:25Well, I'm tripping.
14:26Hold on.
14:27Yeah, America.
14:29But Jason, he's a totally different boy than I was.
14:32Wait a minute.
14:33You know, just speed it up a little bit and loop it for me.
14:36He's still a boy.
14:38He's still a boy.
14:40Lord.
14:42Meg, I gave him the keys to Nessa's kingdom.
14:45She don't stand a chance.
14:46Will you look at this?
14:47Look at this.
14:48Look.
14:52He gon...
14:54He gon...
14:55He gon get it.
14:55He gon get it.
14:57He gon get it.
14:57He gon get it.
15:03Oh, Wanda.
15:06I just...
15:06Baby, I got a funny feeling about this Jason fella.
15:09You know?
15:09What if this Jesus stuff is just a front?
15:12Wouldn't be the first or last time at work.
15:14You know what they say about preacher kids.
15:17What has gotten into you?
15:19Up until now, you was rooting for this girl to go out with this boy.
15:23Now, all of a sudden, you don't trust her.
15:24What?
15:25This isn't the first time shaving my mind about somebody.
15:27You know I don't like people.
15:31Everything's gonna be okay.
15:33They're just gonna dance, drink a little punch, and then they gon come home.
15:39Yeah, you're right.
15:41Okay.
15:42Yeah, you're right.
15:46Oh, wow.
15:53You see this?
15:55Oh, that's in the Bible.
15:57And look at this part here talking about her breasts.
16:00And then plucking off her garden.
16:01It's highlighted.
16:03Uh-huh.
16:11Maybe we should stop.
16:13Yeah, we better.
16:15Unless you want to get married tonight.
16:23Honey, wait.
16:24I thought we were taking a drive to clear your head.
16:26Once my head got clear, I remember where I was going.
16:29Okay.
16:29What are you planning on doing?
16:31I'm just gonna take a peek inside and make sure everybody is where they're supposed to
16:33be.
16:34Come on.
16:35What if she sees you?
16:36Don't worry, I'll be real smooth.
16:38Real smooth.
16:40Baby.
16:40What?
16:41Ain't this their limo?
16:45That's the license plate.
16:47I told you.
16:47I told you.
16:49Open up!
16:50Separate!
16:51Open up!
16:53I be...
16:55Where is Nessa?
16:56I don't know.
16:57The limo was empty when we came out.
16:59Yo, get out of here.
16:59Get out right now.
17:00Out.
17:05Glad you came when you did.
17:06She was trying to put a full-court press on her brother.
17:08Man, get out of here.
17:09Get out.
17:15There's Vanessa over there.
17:17See, honey, I told you there was nothing to worry about.
17:21Doggone Wanda, you were right.
17:24Look at her.
17:24Her hand above her waist.
17:26Just enough for some light to get between them.
17:29I just had to see for myself, though.
17:32Yeah, she looks beautiful.
17:34Doesn't she?
17:35I just fell away.
17:43Would there be anything else?
17:46What about you, Robo Burp?
17:51No, we're good.
17:53Dismissed.
17:53Very well, then.
17:55But there is another feature on Robo Sapien that you may find interesting.
18:12I got suspicious when I saw you were elevating the wrong ankle.
18:15Are you going to tell I wanted Uncle Bernie?
18:19It's up to you.
18:26What do you want?
18:28What do you want?
18:28A burger.
18:29But this time with a better attitude.
18:31No sauce on either.
18:42I had a great time.
18:44Me too.
18:45Thanks.
18:49Oh, no, he didn't.
18:57Open up.
19:00I can't believe you're spying on me.
19:07You forgot your Bible.
19:10We're just reading the 103rd Psalms.
19:13Praise him.
19:15Come in, Nessa, set up for a minute, please.
19:27Nessa, I know you're upset with me.
19:29And that's okay.
19:32I know I embarrassed you in front of all your friends.
19:37I'm sorry about that.
19:41Well, I'm not sorry about being concerned for your well-being.
19:46You see, you're not the first 17-year-old I had to look after.
19:52I had to look after your mother.
19:54But unfortunately, I didn't watch her close enough.
20:00And I'm not going to slip up on my job this time.
20:02You're right.
20:03You're right.
20:03Don't you think I learned a lot from what happened to my mom, too?
20:07When are you going to trust me to make my own decisions?
20:12Well, that's how I trust you.
20:15Just don't expect me to always act like you.
20:18Like I don't expect you to do what I always ask you to do.
20:23That's who we are, and that's who we're always going to be.
20:41Oh, and you should have told Jason to listen to some flowetry.
20:45I like them more than Indy Ari now.
20:48How did you know I was talking to Jason?
20:50I know you.
20:53Bet you do.
20:58Did I try to kiss you?
21:00America, I'm always going to stay a nestle business.
21:03And like I said before, that's my job.
21:08But between me and you, it's good to know that if I'm late for work every now and then,
21:13she'll still be fine.
21:16That's right, I said it.
21:23See, a lot of peoples don't understand that God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son
21:32that whosoever believe in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.
21:37That's John 3, 16.
21:39And it's also saying Deuteronomy, uh, better yet, I could smoke a cigarette if I...
21:46If I smoked, I would smoke a cigarette.
21:48I love it.
21:49I love it, man.
21:56I love it, man.
21:58You
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