The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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00:00Oh, you're wet!
00:19Vanessa, Brianna thinks I can't wet both of you and sorry.
00:23Who cares?
00:24Okay, I'll just tell her you don't have time for us anymore.
00:28She's older now.
00:30Maybe she'll take it better than she did last week.
00:33Okay, okay, maybe tomorrow. Promise?
00:42You know you make me want to jump.
00:48Don't you know how to knock?
00:50There's no doors.
00:51So, I finished my homework, emptied the wastebasket, loaded the dishwasher, and folded all the clothes.
00:58Can I go to the mall with my friends?
00:59I guess so, as long as you'll be back for dinner, okay?
01:02Now, hold on, hold on, hold on. Come on now, let me look at you. You look cute.
01:06Ah, a subtle trace of Je ne sa croix.
01:10Is one of your friends a boy?
01:14Wait just a damn minute.
01:17That's what's all this homework out of loaded, the dish wash out of mop the floor, and all that kind
01:23of stuff.
01:24You setting us up, man. You trying to go on a date.
01:28I'm too young to date, remember?
01:30You got that right.
01:31I'm just going to the mall.
01:33You ain't going nowhere.
01:34But you just said that I could go.
01:37I changed my mind. You're not going anywhere.
01:44America, you see how crazy she talks to me in my own house?
01:50She's lucky she's not a man.
01:52I bet I checked that chin.
01:54Pow, pow, pow, bam.
01:56Let's go to sleep.
01:58Look at the shoulder.
01:59Pow, pow, pow.
02:01Let's go to sleep.
02:02Go to sleep.
02:11Wow, that was nice. She's still upset.
02:13She didn't get over it.
02:15Well, you know what, honey? Vanessa is getting older, and I think we should do a better job of accepting
02:20that
02:20and maybe give her a little more room.
02:23A little more room to do what?
02:25Well, like this date.
02:28Why don't we have the little boy come over here?
02:31We can invite him to dinner.
02:32That way we get to meet the little boy and decide if we like him before it goes any further.
02:38Further?
02:39What I mean is we don't want her sneaking around, okay?
02:42And I'm a little tired of watching you two go back and forth on a daily basis.
02:47Okay, America, I'll let the boy come by.
02:49If I get a little grub on, then I'm laying down the law.
02:53And it won't be nobody three strikes, you're out either.
02:56Uh-uh.
02:57One strike.
02:58One strike, you're toast.
02:59Like an umpire, out of here.
03:07He's here!
03:09This is gonna be good.
03:10Why?
03:11Because I'm gonna hate him.
03:13I hate him already.
03:14What?
03:14Vanessa!
03:16I think your friend is here!
03:18For me, don't intimidate the boy.
03:20I'm not gonna intimidate the boy, baby.
03:22Calm down.
03:24For Vanessa's sake.
03:25Give him a kiss.
03:34Oh, that's a false alarm.
03:35What can I do for you, bruh?
03:37Um, Raheem.
03:38I'm here for Vanessa.
03:55You see that grown man?
03:57What are you talking about?
03:58He goes to my school.
03:59What, on the GI Bill?
04:01You see his feet?
04:01That boy's feet, man.
04:02He wearin' the box anyway.
04:05Raheem, welcome.
04:06Come on in.
04:07My husband, he's a comedian.
04:08Yeah, yup, yup.
04:09Right this way.
04:11We don't have enough food to feed him.
04:13That big sum of my...
04:17This man, that was delicious.
04:19Why, thank you, Raheem.
04:21Vanessa made the gravy herself.
04:23I love gravy.
04:24Me too.
04:26Sweetheart, your excuse.
04:28Go and put your pajamas on.
04:31Well, so what are you plan for college, sir?
04:34Oh, I'm currently being scouted by several Division I schools.
04:37No kidding.
04:38Oh, yeah?
04:39Then what if your little hoop dream doesn't work out?
04:41Then what?
04:42Huh? Huh? Huh?
04:43Well, I've managed to maintain a 3.2 average,
04:46so I'm going to college no matter what.
04:49You know, just kinda hope basketball will help pay for it.
04:51Yeah.
04:52But what's your major?
04:53Probably business.
04:55Something that'll help me take care of my family.
04:59Okay.
05:00The boy give good answers.
05:03But could it all be a game, American?
05:05I mean, slick talk.
05:06You know what I'm saying.
05:09So, can we go out for ice cream?
05:12I don't know.
05:13I'm kinda full.
05:14Yeah, you're full, all right.
05:16Okay.
05:18The only place that's open is Tony's on Ventura Boulevard,
05:21and her curfew's at 10.
05:2210?
05:2310?
05:24I'll have her back by 9.55, sir.
05:39I'll walk you to the door.
05:41Yes, sir.
05:42You don't need any pocket change, anything like that?
05:43No, sir.
05:44What do your father do for a little?
05:48Oh, y'all have a good time.
05:50Mr. Max, sir.
05:51Yes, sir.
05:52Can I have my license back now?
05:54Oh.
05:55Right.
05:58There you go.
05:59But don't forget, 9.55, sir.
06:039.55.
06:05Okay, let's go.
06:05Okay.
06:09See you next, sir.
06:21What are you doing?
06:24I'll be right back.
06:26The cops come.
06:26Blow the horn.
06:29Well, bring me some Jim.
06:31The jury voted unanimously against you.
06:37You're actually letting him go?
06:39Whatever happened to parental oversight?
06:42What?
06:45Go on to your room.
06:46Brush your teeth first.
06:50Come on, honey.
06:51Yeah.
06:52She'll be okay.
07:12Hey, I'm outside waiting all in the front.
07:14Who knew this was going to go into overtime?
07:17Let's go, Bob.
07:18Hey, here in front.
07:20All right.
07:20Chill out.
07:23Raheem just scored the last seven points in regulation.
07:26The biggest guy out there.
07:28Look at him.
07:31Don't be such a playing hater.
07:32I'm not hating.
07:40I'm not hating.
07:41You're not hating.
07:44I'm not hating.
07:44He got a foul, huh?
07:45And this is going to determine what he made out of this.
07:48This is going to show what kind of pressure it is.
08:00Don't mean that he got to hit this this one account don't mean a bang don't hit this thing
08:24I
08:25Just can't find that on the pump
08:27Plus it hit both his free throws man. They'll buy making yours truly 50 bucks. You know after over-and
08:34-under
08:35Come on now you mean to tell me you better on the high school game. Hey man action is action
08:41I fold well look I just don't like the idea of our Vanessa dating some
08:53I
08:53Was a big kid oh you mean to tell me you weren't getting your freak on in high school, man.
08:58I was a dog straight up
09:02It ain't funny man when it's your own
09:06Only way I can see that cat dating Nessa man is right here under this roof
09:11I could spot him every minute see matter of fact
09:24You know I don't understand why mrs. Schaefer makes such a big deal about a stupid bibliography anyway
09:30But if you have it you won't get mad love on your final grade last year. I got an a
09:34minus just for turning in three footnotes
09:37Did you hear that America and a minus?
09:41Dare I dream
09:44Come on Vanessa you promised us the game today
09:46Get lost Jordan, but you said scat boy
09:50We're gonna a minus and what broken promises 101 scat
10:00Okay, well it looks like y'all got jacked
10:04Give me my money. Oh
10:06Oh
10:07Please
10:09Get your hands off the riches
10:11Good smooth mac man
10:13Is walking with a pair
10:15Pretty
10:18I just wanted to say good night, sir. Oh good night, son. Good night
10:22Yo, yo, Raheem man. How's that parm kid's ankle man? Is he gonna be ready?
10:26Come on holiday. Stop you always looking for an edge, aren't you?
10:29Man, hey, excuse me don't pay him no attention. We really was in here. We were talking about you
10:34You know something. I noticed something. I'm impressed
10:38You got game boy. Thank you, Mr. Mack. I heard you used to wall him up back in the day
10:42I don't know where you could have heard that from
10:46Yeah, son, who told you that? I got all kinds
10:49Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, hold on. Sounds like somebody trying to call somebody a scrub
10:55Hey, first of all, you got your people mixed up. Only scrub up in this room is WB
10:59Oh
11:03Please don't be
11:04Pine rider
11:05Oh, man, let me tell you something, man. I'll beat you in doodles
11:08Oh, challenge
11:11I got a ball in the car
11:12Uh oh
11:13And a court
11:14I thought you had to go home
11:16Don't you worry about that. You focus on your A-minus
11:21Yo, yo, yo, me, Chewy against you and Cal
11:24Whoa, man. I ain't trying to be on Bernie's team
11:26I don't know what I'm saying. All right, I made a big fella take all three of y'all
11:31All right, all right, yo, take it out
11:33I'm not playing, man. How many Mexicans you know in the NBA?
11:36Oh, yo, man, yo, say, man, we don't need him
11:37You stick Bernie, I got big boy
11:40Yeah
11:41You got me
11:42I got you
11:43You got a real ball to do it, Mr. Mack
11:45You ain't got no shot
11:49Oh, damn
11:51Quick, I want you to give me your step up to some real balls
11:54Oh, yo, man, you ain't even had nothing to do with that
11:56Hey, hey, hey, that was all about the past
11:58Pure court vision, baby
12:00Listen to him, America
12:01Trying to butter me up
12:03Only I can see the boy coming a mile away
12:06Y'all see
12:08See, game recognized game
12:11A player know a player
12:14A preacher know a pimp
12:17I'm just throwing something at you
12:24Well, thanks for the ride
12:31Um, no disrespect intended, Mr. Mack
12:47Hey, hey, I'm out
12:49Uh, don't forget about Saturday
13:21Hitting that is not going to make the elevator come any faster
13:23Why do we do that all the time?
13:25I don't get that at all
13:27I just want to get out of here before they have another dog on sale
13:33Oh, why are you getting out of here about that?
13:34I'm not mad at you
13:45I'm mad at you
13:52It's Raheem's baby, not mine, so what's the big deal?
13:55The big deal is you try to hide it
13:56Oh, yeah, we head out at the mall
14:00Now, Vanessa, the issue is you did keep it a secret
14:02Yeah
14:03Only because I knew how he would act
14:05He?
14:06What are you talking about he?
14:07Well, let me tell you about he
14:09He don't want you to see him no more
14:11But
14:12But ain't no more but
14:13It's over
14:14Finished
14:14Kapust
14:15Done with
14:16You understand me?
14:17Fine
14:17Fine
14:18Fine
14:18Fine
14:19Fine
14:19Fine
14:20You doggone right fine
14:22But someone will get hurt around here
14:23Not today
14:28Oh, no, America, it's not fine
14:32Far from fine
14:33Let me break it down to you
14:35See, fine means she'll do what I say
14:38As long as I keep my eye on her
14:40And I'll blink longer
14:42Oh, yeah, I know fine
14:44And Bernie Mac is not fine with fine
14:48Is that fine with you?
14:53The Senate meeting in a closed door
14:56The sperm knows its purpose
14:58And pursues the egg relentlessly
15:01And despite appearances
15:02Only one sperm is needed to fertilize the egg
15:22One, one, one, baby, wake up
15:24Wake up.
15:25Okay.
15:26Come on now.
15:27Okay, I'm here.
15:28Nessa is having sex.
15:29I don't hear anything.
15:31Well, Hunter, wake up.
15:32That big-ass boy want to walk around here and do more of the homework.
15:36We don't need no more kids running around here.
15:39Now wake up.
15:40Okay, well, all right, then.
15:42What, we need to talk to her?
15:44This is real.
15:44Yeah, we need to talk to her.
15:45This is real.
15:46All right, well, honey, you're making it sound so serious.
15:48It is serious.
15:49Okay, well, then let's talk to her about birth control.
15:52No, no, that means we giving in.
15:54We condoning it, boy.
15:55No, that's not what it means.
15:57It means that we're teaching her to be responsible and safe.
16:02Well, you umpire.
16:03Get up and talk about what's safe.
16:05Come on.
16:06I'm not getting up right now.
16:07Come on, Rhonda.
16:08I'm going to sleep.
16:09I'm going to talk to her tomorrow.
16:09This is real.
16:10No, it'll be too late.
16:11She'll be pregnant.
16:17Vanessa, um, first I would like to start off
16:21by saying that, you know, sex can be a beautiful thing.
16:26What?
16:27Why would she tell the child something like that?
16:29Why not just get the girl all, lick her all up,
16:32dump her on the boy's porch, ring the doorbell,
16:34and say, it's a beautiful thing.
16:36No, it's not.
16:39Sex is bad.
16:41And it's nasty.
16:43And it hurts.
16:45Bernie, do you want to have this conversation with Vanessa?
16:48No, I don't want to have it.
16:49I'm gone in the dining room, no worries about it.
16:51I'm gone from it.
16:57Okay, I want to talk to you about the difference
16:59of making love and sex.
17:02Now, I know you know what sex is.
17:04You better not.
17:05Bernie!
17:06What?
17:07I'm gone, man.
17:08I'm gone.
17:09Disregard.
17:11He means, well, I'm sorry.
17:13The bottom line is that I was hoping
17:16that you and I could talk today
17:17so that we could talk about the possibility
17:20of putting you on birth control.
17:22Birth control?
17:23Why?
17:23Well, birth control is...
17:25You know damn well why you need birth control.
17:29You know it.
17:30Look, I don't need birth control.
17:33I'm not having sex.
17:34I know what's going on.
17:35I know how these boys think.
17:38Raheem's not like that.
17:39He got a baby!
17:40Bernie, leave.
17:43Ain't no come on.
17:44I'm telling like it is.
17:45You want to play with it.
17:46She just said that she was not having sex.
17:51And I believe her.
17:52So let's leave it at that for now.
17:55Okay?
17:57I'm going to leave her like that.
17:59You got good points.
17:59But October 5, 1957, a pimp was born.
18:11Hey, get away from your sister's door.
18:13He's dropping on her, man.
18:13Like a little spy, man.
18:14What's wrong with you?
18:16What's she doing?
18:17I don't know.
18:18I think she's breaking stuff.
18:20What?
18:20You need to ground her, Uncle Bernie.
18:24Go, go, go.
18:24Give it a while.
18:31Hey, hey, what's going on here?
18:34You all right?
18:36What happened?
18:37Raheem did something to you?
18:38He put his hands on you, I bust him.
18:40No.
18:40He broke up with me.
18:42What?
18:43He dumped me.
18:45Like garbage?
18:46He dumped me to get back with his baby's mama.
18:49No good, dirty son of a.
18:51Are you happy now?
18:54Come on.
18:55What do you mean by that?
18:56I'm not that type of person.
18:58Come on now.
19:03Look, you want to talk?
19:05Maybe I can help you with?
19:07Don't try and be friends and everything with me now.
19:10You're happy we broke up.
19:11Admit it.
19:13I'm not that type of a person.
19:28Chad Barnett, shut the door on Brody Johnson.
19:31He's literally taking the lead.
19:33Pass him in the whoopie.
19:34He's right there.
19:36These guys are right on.
19:38Let me tell you, this is what the sun is.
19:39Hey, I'm watching that.
19:41I thought you two wanted to get whooped in some sun.
19:44I'm green.
19:45I'm red.
19:46Whatever, you're both going down.
19:48Oh, no, I'm not.
19:49Oh, yes, you are.
19:50Oh, no, I'm not.
19:51I'm going to shut up.
19:52What's going on, my people?
19:54Did you do that?
19:55Yes, I messed up the clown.
19:56You guys are going to do it again.
19:58No, don't.
19:58No, I'm going to do it again.
19:59No.
20:00Because you like to look at them before you do it.
20:02Look there, America.
20:04Playing with a little brother and sister.
20:07That's still just a girl they hired.
20:09It was just a big deal over nothing.
20:11Ness ain't going nowhere.
20:14Nowhere.
20:15Can't get no rest.
20:17Don't know how I get home.
20:20Hey, girls.
20:21Where y'all been?
20:22I don't want to.
20:23I'll be in my room.
20:25Okay.
20:26Where y'all been, baby?
20:29Well, honey, we've been to the gynecologist.
20:32Gyne what?
20:34What you going to gynecologist for?
20:36The boy broke up with her.
20:37Went back with his girlfriend.
20:39She said herself she wasn't having sex.
20:41So what the heck you go to a gynecologist for?
20:43So what?
20:44We won't wait until after it happens?
20:45Come on now.
20:46I would rather be safe than sorry.
20:48I'm sorry.
20:49Now, America.
20:51But, America, let me ask you a question.
20:53How did we get here?
20:55That girl already thinks she's grown.
20:58But did we give her the license to go buck wild?
21:02Now I have to keep both eyes on her.
21:06And to you, America, y'all keep your eyes on yours.
21:11Go back to basics.
21:18You got this right here?
21:21Oh!
21:24You got it.
21:25You got it.
21:26My fault.
21:27It hit the thing.
21:28Oh!
21:30Oh!
21:32Damn!
21:34Face.
21:35Damn.
21:36Bam, Bernie?
21:38Hello?
21:39Yes, Vanessa there?
21:41Who is this?
21:42Uh, you can tell it's, uh, gizmo.
21:44Tell it's gizmo?
21:46Uh-huh.
21:46Pow, pow, pow!
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