The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:17America, will you answer me a question?
00:20What is it that you love about the beach?
00:22Because as far as I can see, the beach ain't nothing but the end of the country.
00:27Everybody know the end is the worst part of anything.
00:30The end of a loaf of bread.
00:32Don't nobody eat that.
00:34Last sip of beer, pour it right in the dirt.
00:37But as my baby Wanda likes to remind me, we don't go to the beach for my enjoyment.
00:41We go for the kids.
00:43So every other weekend, I grease them up with lotion and roll them in the sand like they're shaking bait.
00:50God, I can't wait till these kids grow up.
00:54Damn.
01:01Come on, baby.
01:04Probably the cat film.
01:06Yeah.
01:08Sweet language, right?
01:10Let's dump it in the bed.
01:13Hey!
01:14Shh.
01:15You wake your sister up.
01:18Nice evening.
01:20I ain't wanna have them.
01:23Baby, come on.
01:27Where's Precious?
01:29Don't worry about Precious.
01:30Go back to bed, baby girl.
01:31Barney Precious.
01:34Barney, she wants her doll.
01:35It's probably in the beach bag.
01:42Hold on.
01:48Is it in there?
01:50Nope.
01:51But I got the beach, though.
01:55Baby, it wasn't in the car, either.
01:57I don't think she bought it.
01:58Of course she did.
01:59She takes that thing everywhere.
02:01Baby, she didn't take it.
02:05Wait.
02:09Kid, let's go.
02:10Wait, we won't finish this thing, Cassie.
02:17Nice finish.
02:18Come on.
02:19Come on.
02:19Let's go.
02:20Shut up.
02:21Shut up.
02:36How many times did I tell you to keep up with your stuff, baby girl?
02:38But we need to get Precious.
02:41Baby girl, please.
02:42What's going on in here?
02:44We left Precious at the beach.
02:47Oh, shit.
02:50Baby girl, please.
02:52Stop crying.
02:53Stop crying, baby girl.
02:54Please stop crying.
02:57Maybe you should flick her on the head.
03:02America, it's been 45 minutes straight.
03:05It's unstoppable.
03:07Watch this.
03:29Oh, uh-uh, Bernie.
03:31You are not going to drug that baby up with that heavy cough syrup.
03:34What?
03:35Now, if you want her to go to sleep, you're going to have to get that doll back.
03:39Woman, it's midnight.
03:40Bernie, she's hysterical.
03:42It's an all-ride-ish way, Wanda.
03:44You don't drugs or dog food?
03:46Fine.
03:47I'll go, and you can stay here and listen to that.
04:08Look at this, man.
04:09I'm out here looking for a dog on the dogs.
04:12I'm doing stuff that I tell people on stage I ain't going to do.
04:15Now, I'm sitting out here doing it.
04:17I should just walk in the water and just keep on walking.
04:21Dog gone.
04:22Hold on.
04:23Who?
04:26What?
04:27Oh!
04:28Ow, ow, ow, ow.
04:30Ow.
04:32Hey.
04:33Hey, baby.
04:35Wanda.
04:36I found it.
04:38Yeah, I found it.
04:39I swear I did.
04:39It's insane.
04:42Huh?
04:42I'm on my line.
04:43I can't...
04:43Baby.
04:44I can't hear you with a baby girl hollering and screaming.
04:46I can't hear you.
04:47If you don't get back here, I'm going to kill you.
04:50Okay, but look.
04:51I'm on my way.
04:52Yeah, I found it.
04:54All right, hang on.
04:55I love me saying got me out of here.
04:57All about one day looking for that dog on the dial.
05:07Come on.
05:29Slow, slow, slow, slow.
05:43Slow, slow, slow, slow.
05:44Mack, Mack.
05:47Yeah.
05:48Yeah.
05:49Yeah.
05:50Yeah.
05:50Yeah.
05:50Tim, I can't do anything today.
05:52The Mack.
05:53Yeah.
06:03I can't believe you found that thing.
06:05Hmm?
06:06It really is a miracle.
06:09She really is an angel.
06:11Oh.
06:12Still, I'll be glad when she finally gives up that dog.
06:15It's tomorrow too soon.
06:22Give me this thing.
06:25Spore.
06:30Wanda doesn't think I can wing Brianna off Precious.
06:33Says she's too attached.
06:35And she's right.
06:36America.
06:37But it's an unnatural attachment.
06:40The thing hangs off of like a growth.
06:42Like one of those freaks you see in the Guinness book.
06:44That's where there's only one course of action.
06:47A complete diatectomy.
06:49Why does she have to be, um, uh, um, uh, uh, quarantined?
06:54Yeah, quarantined.
06:56Well, baby girl, see, Precious, she's very sick.
07:01You know, she got the chicken puff.
07:03And see, the chicken puffs is highly contagious.
07:05Step back, step back, step back.
07:07See, nobody can come around her or be close to her for the next 48, I mean, 72 hours, okay?
07:13Look out.
07:20I don't want to.
07:21Uh, uh, uh, doctor's orders.
07:27Oh, don't be so sad.
07:29The Lord won't out there.
07:31Come on.
07:33Baby girl.
07:36You want me to put you in there?
07:39Wanda.
07:41Baby, you'll see.
07:42In a couple of days, baby girl, go forget about that, darling.
07:45You know how kids are.
07:46Let's go on to the next thing.
07:48Well, I must say, I am pretty impressed.
07:51Yeah?
07:51Mm-hmm.
07:52You got an impression you want to play doctor with your old man?
07:55Well, my mother always wanted me to marry one.
07:57You know why?
07:58No, but I know a sister.
08:01Uh-oh, Uncle Bernie.
08:04Oh, Lord.
08:05Now we have to be quarantined together.
08:11Bernie, they're permanent.
08:20All right, baby girl, I'm sick of this nonsense.
08:23You two, dog, won't be playing with this dial.
08:26It's about time you gave it up, and you're going to give it up right now.
08:28Give me that dial.
08:29No!
08:29What you mean, no?
08:30I'm not playing with you.
08:32I'm sick of this nonsense, going all over the creation, looking for that.
08:35Give me that dial.
08:36No, I'm wanting to help.
08:37Come here.
08:38Baby, baby, baby.
08:39If you don't move, you're going to get hurt.
08:40I'm telling you.
08:41Can you believe what I got to go through?
08:43And our old mother didn't fight this hard, and the state was taking her baby.
08:48I'm sorry, America.
08:51It was cold.
08:52Come here, baby.
08:54Baby, come here.
08:55Come here.
08:56Got you.
08:57All right, precious.
08:58What?
08:58Y'all saw that, right?
09:00That, that, that, that, that, the thing that hissed at me, that was not baby girl, hell,
09:05no, not my sweet baby girl.
09:07That was that dog.
09:09It got control of it.
09:11I don't know what I'm going to do with this one.
09:13Q, you got kids.
09:14You got to help me on this one, man.
09:15You got to help me.
09:16Check it out, Bernie.
09:17In situations like this, I recommend the wet T-shirt.
09:22Wet T?
09:25Oh, oh, oh, that's cold.
09:27Yeah, hey, hey, hey, hey.
09:29I can't kill baby girl like that.
09:30I can't, hey, I thought about killing a boy.
09:33But the girl, that's, that's, I can't kill a kid like that.
09:35I can't.
09:36You talking about killing a kid, man?
09:38I'm talking about the dog.
09:39The dog?
09:40You got to pop out the dog, man.
09:43Yeah, yeah.
09:44Yeah, yeah, when you gonna strike, baby?
09:47Oh, no, man, I love the kids.
09:48I can't touch that dog, man.
09:51No.
09:51You got to find somebody else to do it.
09:53Somebody ruthless.
09:56Ruthless?
09:57Somebody just don't care.
09:59Go to sleep after they rob their mom or something like that.
10:01Yeah, pretty much.
10:04Yeah, I used to, I know, I know the guy.
10:08You know somebody?
10:08Yeah.
10:09Is that right?
10:14Can I use the M-80?
10:16Shh.
10:16Be quiet, boy.
10:19Now, listen.
10:21Fireworks is what I don't want.
10:23This thing cannot attract any attention, okay?
10:27Gotcha.
10:28I want it done nice, clean, and quiet like you did.
10:31No barber down.
10:32You never proved that was me.
10:34Boy, please.
10:35That pigment tray would burn down to the ground.
10:37I had your hand written all over.
10:39I mean, very professional.
10:43So are we clear?
10:44This cannot come back to me, Jordan.
10:46I can use a BB gun.
10:48Totally untraceful.
10:49No body, no evidence.
10:51Hmm, that's a little bit tough.
10:53I'll pay extra.
10:55Nah, keep your money.
10:56I'll do this one for free.
10:58But someday, I'm gonna ask you for a favor.
11:03Someday.
11:03Someday.
11:04qualcosa.
11:18OK.
11:20Oh.
11:22Oh.
11:23Oh.
11:23Oh.
11:29Oh, my God.
12:21Oh, my God.
12:41So, baby girl, that's what happened.
12:44Precious family came, not her real, her Dow family came and took her to Dowland where
12:52she's going to live happily ever after.
12:56It's not really Dowland.
12:58Dowland is like a star.
13:01A distant, shimmering star.
13:03But I didn't get to say goodbye.
13:10I know you didn't, baby girl, but hey, she left you some.
13:17Yep.
13:19Hey, she left you.
13:26$200.
13:30Yep.
13:31That's what they told you.
13:32You like that?
13:33I want to see the star.
13:35What star, baby?
13:36Dolly, where Precious is?
13:39Oh, that star.
13:42Okay.
13:43Come on.
13:44Let's go look at the star.
13:45Okay?
13:46Come on, baby girl.
13:48Yeah.
13:51Let's see the star.
13:54And maybe if we look hard enough, we'll see the fireworks from the Dow party.
14:02What?
14:03What is it?
14:15That damn Jordan.
14:16Cube, he had one job to do and he couldn't even do that.
14:20Yeah, man.
14:21You got a serious problem on your hand, bro.
14:24I know, man.
14:25Now, baby girl, she ain't going to never speak to me again.
14:27She ain't going to never forgive me.
14:29See, baby girl, it's your problem.
14:31It's the boy.
14:32That's the one you need to get rid of.
14:34You ever consider a beatdown?
14:36What?
14:38What you talking about?
14:40Cube, Cube, get out my house, man.
14:44What?
14:45Don't get the hell out of my dog on house.
14:47You ain't no dog on thug no more.
14:49You live better than me.
14:50Your house bigger than mine.
14:52And you got to pick your kid up from prep school to something, man.
14:54Prep school?
14:55Yeah.
14:56Man, my kid don't go to no damn prep school.
14:58They with the nanny.
15:00You know what?
15:00Next time you need to boil a cappuccino machine, don't call me.
15:03I ain't.
15:05Don't call me.
15:06I ain't going to call you.
15:06You ain't got to worry about it.
15:09Fake gangsta.
15:12I got to do something.
15:13Sit down.
15:13I got to do something about baby girl, man.
15:16Baby girl, look.
15:17You can blow dry and comb your hair.
15:20And look what else you can do.
15:25You like your new toy?
15:26No.
15:27Good.
15:28So we're going to put it up and play with it later, okay?
15:31So what would you like to eat?
15:32Nothing.
15:33But you're going to eat something.
15:34No.
15:36Hey.
15:38How about some cocoa crunchies?
15:39But you said those were for breakfast.
15:41I know I did, but I'm saying you can have some now.
15:44Okay.
15:44Good, good.
15:46What are you going to say to Uncle Bernie?
15:47Well, I get charms too.
15:50This is a start.
15:52You see that?
15:53You see that?
15:54America.
15:55She smiled.
15:56She loves me again.
15:58I told you she understand.
16:00My baby girl loves me and everything is all right in the world.
16:05My baby girl.
16:27I was here first.
16:33You're a real pioneer.
16:35Why don't you go discover your home?
16:37Maybe I should let you destroy something of mine.
16:39Then I might get some respect.
16:40Maybe you should.
16:41Maybe I will.
16:42Maybe I should torture you a bite.
16:45Can I get you something else, baby girl?
16:47Hmm.
16:48Surprise me.
16:53Who did right there, missy?
16:54You know those are for after dinner.
16:56So I don't have it yet, too?
16:59Give me that.
17:24Oh, I know why I like to put my hand on that little monster's rear end.
17:29What are you talking about?
17:31Knuckle?
17:31Now, your spoiled little princess.
17:35Oh, get out of here, baby girl.
17:37That's ridiculous.
17:39You can't spoil something that perfect.
17:40Let me stop!
17:43Let me stop!
17:44Let me stop!
17:48Let me stop!
17:49Let me stop!
17:49Let me stop it now!
17:50No!
17:51Let me go!
17:52No!
17:52No!
17:53No!
17:54Glad you're home.
17:56Oh, baby, come on now.
17:58Give me a hand, now.
17:58Hey, baby, stop!
18:00Brother, stop!
18:01Hey, hey, hey.
18:03Baby girl, baby girl.
18:04Stop it.
18:05Now, you just stop it right now.
18:06What's wrong with you?
18:07I do anyway.
18:09I want to go to Jamboree.
18:11What?
18:12You ain't going no doggone well to you.
18:14Tell me what the hell possesses you to do it.
18:16What's wrong with you?
18:17I want to go to Jamboree.
18:19Ow!
18:20Don't you ever do that to me.
18:30Look, I'm not saying she didn't deserve this one.
18:33I mean, you saw her.
18:35It had to be done.
18:36But why did I have to be the one to do it?
18:39She's never going to speak to me again.
18:43Baby girl, Uncle Bernie, he's sorry he had to spank you.
18:48But you were being rotten.
18:50But I guess I'm partly to blame because I spoiled you.
18:57Baby girl, Uncle Bernie, was a little afraid
19:01that he was going to lose the love of his sweet baby girl.
19:08But I ended up losing it anyway.
19:10I don't want to be a sweet baby girl.
19:17I don't want to be a sweet baby girl.
19:21You do?
19:22I'm not a baby anymore.
19:24No, you're not.
19:28Dan, if you're not a baby anymore,
19:31you know what you got to do.
19:35Okay?
19:36Okay.
19:38Come here.
19:40I love you, baby girl.
19:56Is it true Bigfoot spanked you?
19:59Uh-huh.
20:00He spanked you.
20:01Uh-huh.
20:02I'm a fanny.
20:04Dang.
20:05What's so funny?
20:07Nothing.
20:08It's just you're one of us now.
20:11Hey, baby.
20:13It's all straightened out.
20:15You know, baby girl, she's a sweet little girl after all.
20:17I know.
20:18That's why I didn't understand your hurry to make her grow up.
20:21I mean, she's only going to be this young once.
20:24Oh, my God, baby.
20:26I ain't never think of her like that.
20:28You better.
20:29Because when it's over, you're going to miss it.
20:32I tell you what, I don't care how old Brianna get.
20:36She's still going to be my precious little baby girl.
20:38Hmm.
20:38You say that now, but one day she may grow into Nessa.
20:45Baby girl.
20:47Don't grow up, baby girl.
20:49Please don't grow up.
20:51You have to get married.
20:52You have to get a job.
20:53You're going to mess around.
20:54You're going to have a...
20:54Look, you don't want to do that.
20:56You don't want to do that.
20:58Come on.
20:58You want to play.
20:59You want to play outside.
21:00Look.
21:03Come on, look at her.
21:04She's going...
21:10Look, come, look.
21:13You need to see it.
21:14Are you looking?
21:18Baby?
21:22This is for the dead dollies out there.
21:24All the ones with their little heads pulled off and shot up.
21:29And all the...
21:30The homie here.
21:32That's enough, baby.
21:33And all the dead dollies in the world.
21:34Cute, cute, cute.
21:35Damn, cute.
21:36That's enough, man.
21:37Sorry about that.
21:37They're dead.
21:38You know.
21:39I can get that up.
21:44Hey.
21:46That's why you got me over here.
21:50Can we drink this on TV?
21:51I can drink this on TV.
21:54You missed.
21:58You didn't really know.
21:59It's your problem.
21:59You
Comments