The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:17Saturday America my favorite day of the week always has been remember how much fun we had
00:24as kids oh man we played baseball broomball stickball stoop ball punch ball kick the can
00:32anything and everything you know we got married on Saturday there's so many good things to do on
00:38Saturday by the way you know I was born on a Saturday yeah there's always something to do
00:44America on Saturdays it's a beautiful morning Bernie McClough 7 a.m. on my way to play golf
00:53that's right I mean I'm starting my Saturday all right you know this is the best part of the day
01:00and look at one still sleeping so peaceful though I've got such a beautiful woman look so damn bad
01:09in the morning hey joy joy come in some golf ball with your uncle man come on let you aim
01:23at the
01:23track the guy in the cage
01:25lazy
01:34fingers
01:41good morning baby girl
01:45I said good morning baby girl
01:46I can't hear Uncle Bernie
01:49me wasting a beautiful morning
02:00Mac man's log 10 45 a.m. still no sign of life
02:12you just been picking your eyes not oh boy you nasty hey baby girl you still watching TV
02:24hey baby girl don't you want to go outside and play today
02:36what the hell you watching anyway
02:38where did I get here
02:42can you believe this America what's wrong with these doggone kids
02:46don't they know today is Saturday where they drive the lust for life
02:51they've done absolutely nothing now I'm gonna ask you America how long can this go on
02:57a person's sleep can't catch nothing but a dream
03:00when I was
03:04I'm back
03:08I'm back
03:14Get up off of that thing
03:16And dance as you feel better
03:18Get up off of that thing
03:20And dance as you feel better
03:26Get up off of that thing
03:46We have enough family meet get up. I know that's right
03:53Put some clothes on Smallville
03:55They're lazy days are over
03:58Little girl, come on, let's go
04:00Hey!
04:01Ain't no way I can sit around the house if you had to get killed
04:06Look at this. You see this? This is outdoors
04:09And look at that. That's the sky
04:11What's that there?
04:13Grass
04:15That's right. Kneel down and rub it
04:17Rub it. Get back over there
04:21Smell this fresh air
04:23Smell it
04:24Yeah, it hurt your chest. You ain't used to it
04:26That's right. That's right. Smell it
04:29Look at the sun
04:30Don't look right at the sun
04:32Boys, it's a figure of speech
04:33With those Coke bottle glasses, man, they'll blow your head right off
04:36See, you kids got it too easy
04:38You all been lazing around here on Saturday
04:40Some things gonna change
04:41Because let me tell you something
04:42You keep this kind of nonsense up
04:44You're gonna be wearing 300 pounds
04:46And baby girl, believe me
04:47You won't be lovable at 300 pounds
04:49But from now on, it's gonna change
04:53Each and every one of you all gonna take in an activity on Saturday
04:56That's right. You can look inside all you want
04:58From now on, you all gonna learn how to seize the day and suck the marrow out the bones of
05:03life
05:03Can't borrow my underwear
05:05No, you can't do nothing
05:07But dig the fresh air, nature
05:09Nature!
05:11All right, listen up, family
05:12I've got some things I want you all to look through
05:15Baby girl, soccer
05:16That's gonna be for you
05:19Every Saturday morning, you're gonna be outside
05:21Playing with girls and kids your side
05:23Doing something that you love
05:24What you think about that?
05:26Good. Am I gonna wear a uniform?
05:27You sure do, sweetheart. Yes, you do
05:29Jordan, you find something there you like?
05:31Jazz dance
05:32Give me that. Give me that
05:35Junior scouts, it's gonna be for you
05:36Scouts? What for?
05:37Because they'll take the jazz dance out of you and put a man inside you
05:41Do you think that maybe you might be overdoing it?
05:43I mean, you know, parents are always overscheduling their kids
05:47Sweetheart, why don't you build a suggestion box and put that in there
05:49Let that be your activity, okay? I got this
05:53Nessa, you see something in there you like?
05:54No, these are kind of whack
05:56If you don't pick something wacky upside your head
05:58You either pick something out of here or you find yourself a job
06:01I know one thing
06:03Every Saturday morning, we're gonna be up bright and early
06:07Having fun
06:08Can you dig it?
06:11This'll be great for them, America
06:13They're gonna discover the joys of getting out of the house
06:17Getting out of the house
06:20America, I just thought of something
06:22The more I give them to do on their own
06:25The less I have to do with them
06:27Even when I go to baby girl's sock
06:29It's not like I'm playing or coaching
06:30I'm just a fan
06:31I get the lounge in the sun
06:34Maybe I should become a Raider fan
06:36And start a fight with another band
06:39Excuse me, America
06:40I gotta go practice my long-range spitting
06:46That's about five, five and a half feet
06:49Saturday
06:51In the park
06:52I think it was the fault of my life
06:58People dancing
06:59Good, baby girl, good, that's it
07:02This is life, huh?
07:03Yep, everybody wins
07:06All right, all right, parents
07:07On your feet
07:08Come on, let's go, let's go
07:12Now, little people's soccer
07:14It takes a lot of big people to make it work
07:15If you're gonna be here, you're gonna be busy
07:18Now, I'm sending around a sheet
07:20If you don't sign up, I'll sign up for you
07:22Now, trust me
07:24You don't want me to sign you up
07:26All right
07:27Now, we have halftime refreshments
07:28Post-game refreshments
07:30First aid
07:30Referee
07:31Practice coach
07:32Ball retrieval
07:32Dog and goose crap cleanup
07:34Ooh
07:36Nice kick, Montana
07:42I should have let those kids sleep
07:56Hey
07:57I gotta do this for, you know, the doggone soccer team
08:00You know, cutting oranges for all the little girls
08:02You know, what did I get into, America?
08:04Let me tell you something
08:05Before, my sadness were for me
08:07Now, I ain't got nothing against supporting baby girl
08:10But Bernie Mac didn't want to become some doggone
08:13Refreshment bringing
08:14Crap cleaning
08:15Net hanging
08:16Soccer mom flucking
08:17So it ain't no doggone sick
08:19Baby girl, quit scuffing my floor with your cleats
08:22What are those?
08:24Shin guard
08:24They protect my shin
08:25Really?
08:26Really?
08:27Ow, ow, Uncle Bernie
08:28Come on, quit fooling around, get in the car
08:30I gotta take you to soccer
08:30Come on now
08:31What about my scalp eating?
08:32You went last night
08:33That was just orientation
08:34For six hours?
08:36Hey, you wanna hang on your cape and drawers today?
08:38Really?
08:39No, no, no, no, hold on, hold on
08:40Baby girl, I'll be right back
08:41No
08:44Hey, Nessa
08:45You finding activity yet?
08:46No, but I'm working on a couple of leads
08:49We're working on a couple of leads?
08:50Yeah, a couple of strong leads
08:53Nessa
08:54Why not?
08:59Hey, baby
09:01Come here, I need you to do me a favor
09:02Why don't you take care of Jordan and the scouts for me, okay?
09:04Oh, you gave up your Saturday, Bernie
09:06This is my son
09:07Come on, I ain't got no time for debate, baby girl
09:09I gotta take her to soccer
09:10I warned you about over-scheduling those kids
09:12The clock is ticking
09:13Come on, just do this for me
09:14We're supposed to be a team
09:15Should I put that in my suggestion box?
09:18Come on, baby
09:18If I ain't got no doggone time when I told you so
09:20I'm on goose duty
09:21Well, then maybe you should ask me a little bit better than that
09:24Come on
09:25Please
09:27All right, where I gotta take them?
09:28You ain't gotta take them nowhere
09:29Last night, somebody signed me up for their mama
09:31Thank you, baby
09:32Their mama
09:33Yeah
09:44Okay, the first thing we'll do is learn first aid
09:48Why?
09:49In case anything happens
09:51Shouldn't we first learn how to gut a man and then learn how to fix it?
09:55Yeah
09:55No
09:57No
09:58No
09:58Okay, come on, this'll be fun
10:01We'll start by talking about poison ivy
10:05What about poisonous snake bites?
10:08Yeah
10:09We'll get to snake bites later
10:11How many snake bites does it take to kill a man?
10:14I'm not sure
10:15It depends on the snake
10:17Hey
10:17We're not talking about snake bites?
10:20Hey
10:22Can you fix
10:23Is this about snakes?
10:25No
10:27Okay
10:27Can you use maggots to fix a snake bite?
10:31Yeah
10:31Yeah
10:32I like snakes
10:33I like snakes
10:34Nice to find
10:34Yeah
10:35Nice to find
10:35You know
10:37Mm-hmm
10:38Thank you
10:39Bernie
10:40Hey
10:41Hey
10:41I'm glad you're here
10:42Your dad who was supposed to assist and coach didn't show up today
10:45Dude
10:46Yeah
10:46Some parents actually just dropped their kids off, you believe that?
10:48Go, go out there
10:49Have fun
10:50I'll be back in an hour
10:50Get the car, get the car
10:53Hey, hey, hey
10:54No, no
10:55Let him go, Bernie
10:56We don't want your kind here
10:58Yes, we do
10:58All right
10:59First thing I need for you to do is practice our kicks on goal
11:02What?
11:03I'm doing oranges
11:12Come on
11:15Get your daddy
11:17Come on, get some
11:21Better come on with it
11:22Let's get your daddy
11:24Ronnie, you might want to let the girls get one or two in
11:26I'm not going to let them get adults
11:29They got to
11:34If we're stuck in the wilderness and we have to eat each other, do we have to eat the butt?
11:48Shut up
11:57Wouldn't it suck if we did eat the butt?
12:00And then we were found like an hour later
12:07Yeah, that's what sucked
12:14Look here, Mr. Coach, man
12:15I can't do it no more
12:16You saw what happened, man
12:17Another one of those urges hit me again
12:18I'll cleft all over
12:19Not a problem, Bernie
12:20Why don't you take a break from coaching, huh?
12:23Thank you, Coach
12:24I appreciate that
12:26You can help us out by refereeing the rest of the scrimmage
12:29Refereeing?
12:30I don't know the rules
12:31Just keep them from bunching
12:33What's bunching?
12:34When they run after the ball at the same time in a bunch
12:37It's called bunching
12:41What kind of bull?
12:43Look, America, I didn't sign up for this crap
12:45Look at me
12:46Look like I should be working at Foot Locker
12:48Bunching
12:51Good, come on, no bunching
12:53No bunching
12:54Spread out
12:55Get off
12:55Get off her back
12:56Wait, wait
12:58You're bunching
12:59I don't want you to bunch
13:01Spread out
13:01Get off her back
13:03Wait, wait
13:05Listen, ladies
13:06Let me explain something to you
13:07I truly don't believe you all understand the concept of bunching
13:11See, right now you're in a bunch
13:12Out there, you're not supposed to be in a bunch
13:15I want you to stay where you're supposed to be until the ball comes to you
13:19For example
13:20You, you're my goldie
13:22I want you to stay by the goal
13:24You're my forward
13:25I want you to stay forward
13:27Twin, you're my halfback
13:29So I want you to stay halfback
13:31I don't want you to move
13:32I don't care if a butterfly flies past your head
13:36Don't move
13:37I don't care if Barbie drives up in her pinky vertebral
13:41Do not move
13:42Stay where you're supposed to be
13:44Do you understand me?
13:47Ice cream!
13:49Yeah!
13:50Yeah!
13:54Bunch of dummies
13:58Okay, all right
14:00Run, you little
14:01Ice cream!
14:02Yeah, yeah
14:03Yeah, I hope you'll choke on the stick
14:08All right
14:09One more time
14:11The rabbit comes out of the hole
14:13Wait, where's Mark?
14:17Oh my!
14:19Oh, you boys are so bad!
14:23You are so freaking hot
14:25Why, you little freaking hot
14:27Bernie, freaking hot!
14:29Oh, baby, come on now
14:30No, I did not give up my leisurely Saturdays
14:32So I can hear some little monster
14:34This ain't the right time
14:35Tell me I'm freaking hot!
14:36Baby, America
14:37America
14:38Oh, oops
14:40Sorry
14:41We'll talk
14:45She is freaking hot
14:48I'm freaking tired
14:55Uncle Bernie, guess what?
14:56I just got a job walking neighborhood dogs
14:59Isn't that great?
15:01Oh, don't worry
15:02He won't bite
15:09You know what, America?
15:11See, my sadness gone to the dogs
15:13As you can see
15:14America, I won't let you know something
15:16That's stinky
15:17That's messy
15:18And that's nasty
15:19And I'm talking about the little girls
15:21That's right
15:22I said it
15:24See, they say little girls
15:25She should be made of sugar and spice
15:26And everything nice
15:28Smokey said that
15:29It's a damn lie
15:31Cause I'd rather be around these dogs
15:35It's like they were there to torture me
15:38But I can't do it again
15:41Baby, I know, I know
15:43I gotta try to trick baby girl into quitting
15:46You know
15:48Maybe I'll tell her she's allergic to grass
15:50She knows she's cute
15:50But she ain't that bright
15:51That's wrong
15:55Uncle Bernie
15:56Can I quit soccer?
15:58Yes
15:58It'll bubble you
16:00Clean
16:00Bubble you
16:03Yeah, baby girl
16:04You don't have to play soccer
16:05If you don't like it
16:06I like it
16:07But I just think we stink
16:10What?
16:11You don't stink
16:12But all we do is punch
16:19Are you gonna let her quit?
16:25No, I can't let her quit
16:28And you can't either
16:35Look here, girls
16:37I don't wanna see you in the bunch
16:38I don't wanna hear you in the bunch
16:39I want you all to play like seven-year-olds
16:41Now I know what you're thinking
16:42How come we can't bunch?
16:44Next time you find yourself in a bunch
16:45Megan, what do you do?
16:46Not bunch
16:47There you go
16:47Next time you find yourself in a bunch, Julia
16:49Go snap in space
16:50Good girl, Julia, good girl
16:51Twins
16:52If you see the ball in front of the goal
16:53What do you do?
16:54Not bunch
16:55No, you kick the ball in the goal
16:57Trick question
16:58A little advanced
16:59All right
16:59What are we gonna do?
17:01Win
17:01How are we gonna do it?
17:03Win
17:03Win
17:03Win
17:03Win
17:04Win
17:05Win
17:06Win
17:06Win
17:07There you go, girl
17:08Everybody, huddle over here
17:09Huddle up
17:10No, we're bunching
17:11Good, number six
17:12Put your hand here
17:13Let me hear you say
17:14Fuckin' grind
17:15Fuckin' grind
17:16Let's go get it
17:17Let's get it
17:17Let's go
17:18Let's go
17:20He's into it
17:21I hear he's just an uncle
17:23Well, I figured
17:24We ought to get him to coach basketball
17:28Give me the bandana
17:30Give me the bandana
17:33Give me the bandana
17:34All right
17:35I guess you guys don't want to learn to make fire
17:38Fire, fire, fire
17:40Fire
17:42What we have here is kindling
17:45And these two are my fire sticks
17:47Shall I go on or would you guys like to keep playing?
17:51Anyone says another word?
17:52No, fire
17:53Anyone ask another silly question?
17:56No, fire
17:57And trust me
17:58If you're ever trapped in the wilderness
18:00And you have to eat somebody's butt
18:02Then you're gonna want to know how to start a fire
18:06So listen up
18:08If you guys are good once we make the fire
18:10Then we can cook up some hot dogs
18:12And some burgers on your homemade fire
18:15Can we use that?
18:17I hope that's not a question
18:18Shut up
18:20Shut up
18:20Shut up
18:23Shut up
18:23Shut up
18:24Shut up
18:25Shut up
18:26Shut up
18:26Okay, let's see
18:2725, 50
18:28And then things move
18:31And that's 200
18:34Come on
18:34Come on
18:35Come over here
18:36Look at all this space
18:37Look at that girl
18:38Get
18:39Look, look, look
18:41Girls, girls
18:42Come over here
18:43Girls
18:53Won't you guys start preparing the burgers?
18:55It'll be any second now
18:56Come over here
18:57Yeah, perfect
19:00Yeah
19:01Yeah
19:02Yeah
19:05No
19:06No
19:07No
19:14Come on, girl
19:15Come on
19:16Come on
19:17Come on
19:17Come on
19:17Come on
19:17Come on
19:26I'm going for the birdsong!
19:28We're going to take the birdsong!
19:29We need to take the birdsong!
19:32We need to take the birdsong!
19:34Oh, my God!
19:36You just got a bird!
19:37You just got a bird!
19:37I'm going to take the birdsong!
19:38You're trying to escape time with pleasure
19:42People around ya
19:43Ew!
19:44Giving you pressure
19:46Trying to receive all the hair that's all around ya
19:50Is that it, girl?
19:51Go!
19:54Don't stop, stop it more!
20:22Don't stop, stop it more!
20:30I'm burning the beans!
20:32Oh, what are you doing?
20:34That just made all the point of mine.
20:44Yeah, my Saturday's all gone, America.
20:48My Saturday nights, too.
20:50Be careful what you get into.
20:53Laziness is underrated.
20:56If you're lucky enough to have kids
20:58who like to stare at home at the ceiling, not upstairs.
21:03Lazy kids make a very lazy Saturday.
21:06And there ain't nothing wrong with that, nothing!
21:12I'm a big man.
21:21I'm a lot of man.
21:23I'm a lot of man.
21:32I messed up, though.
21:35No, you got it!
21:36You got it!
21:37That was it!
21:37Aw, let me do it again!
21:39Let me do it again!
21:46That was it, wasn't it?
21:47All right, let me do it one more time, man.
21:49All right.
21:50For safety.
21:51All right.
21:58I'm sorry.
21:58I just see it.
21:58I'm wrong.