The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:17See these, America?
00:19Four ringside seats to Hutchinson and Turner fight in Vegas tonight.
00:23Surprise gift from the fellas.
00:25Yes, sir.
00:26Me and the boys hit in the fight.
00:28The casinos.
00:30Strip club.
00:32I don't care what you think, America, I'm ready.
00:34I've been ready ever since I missed last year's trip on account of those sick, nasty, germy-lookers.
00:38See, last year I gave Ron a birthday party and influenza.
00:42But trust me this year, ain't nothing ruining.
00:45Me and the boys are taking a noon flight.
00:48That's right, and I don't plan on spending not one second more with those doggone kids.
00:52So come on in, flu.
00:54Chicken pops.
00:55Flesh-eating disease.
00:58Wingworms.
00:58I don't care.
00:59Whatever you got, bring it on.
01:01Take your best shot.
01:03Because Bernie Mac going to Vegas and nothing, I mean nothing, is going to stop me.
01:09Come on now, Wanda.
01:10You promised you'd take them.
01:11I'm sorry.
01:12I have a special presentation to make for work.
01:14Come on.
01:15These things come up.
01:16Fine.
01:16They won't go.
01:18That's not fair.
01:18You guys promised you'd take us to the movies.
01:21Got it in writing.
01:23Come on, sweetheart.
01:24You got to be there.
01:25Well, considering it's a $30 million account in which I happen to be project manager, yeah,
01:31I guess I do.
01:32Well, baby, it's Vegas.
01:33I might win $30 million.
01:35Then we'll be even.
01:36See?
01:37It's starting.
01:38Dark forces conspiring to ruin my trip, but it ain't going to work.
01:41So I spoke to the fellas in their cool.
01:43So I'm going to take them evil kids to see the first show.
01:46And I'm going to get them back home.
01:47I'm going to feed them.
01:47And the second my baby walked through the door, I'm a memory of America.
01:50I'm gone.
01:51Went.
01:51I'm out of here.
01:53Eight or six.
01:53Got my hat.
01:54I want to see Jake Beard the survivor.
01:57I want to go to Vegas, but if I suffer, you suffer.
01:59There is no way I'm seeing some G-rated movie.
02:02I can't stop you from closing your eyes, okay?
02:04Three kids for a field goal kicking mule and one for Bloody Dead 3.
02:08How come you can see what you want to see?
02:10Shut up.
02:10What'd be Bloody Dead 4?
02:11Go on in there.
02:13I don't know what I got doing now.
02:14Here.
02:15Uh-huh.
02:17Come on.
02:18Oh, hey.
02:19Here's my name.
02:20Bye.
02:21Bye.
02:28Come on.
02:29Come on, come on, get in there.
02:30There, girl.
02:31Watch them.
02:43Uh-uh.
02:44Uh-uh.
02:45Don't go in there.
02:46It's some hell, no.
02:47How many people go on the cemetery after the Radiation League?
02:50You know there's zombies in there.
02:52Shh.
02:58I told you.
02:59Didn't I say it?
03:00Didn't I tell you?
03:01Shh.
03:02It's some hell, no.
03:08Hey.
03:13I don't want to stay here and watch Brianna.
03:18I don't want to stay here either.
03:19I hate mules.
03:27Jake Fury, fist of iron.
03:30Okay, you stay here and watch the movie, okay?
03:33Isn't the mule funny?
03:38Yeehaw, yeehaw.
03:41So, hey, what do you think of Todd Miller?
03:43He is so cute.
03:45Why?
03:46Because he's coming this way.
03:48Hey, Vanessa.
03:49Hey.
03:50Donna.
03:50Hey.
03:51So, you guys going to Aaron's party tonight?
03:54Yeah.
03:55You?
03:56Yeah.
03:57Turn.
03:58Turn.
03:59Turn.
04:01Turn.
04:03Looks like we're surrounded.
04:05It's time to pull out the big guns.
04:16And that's the look, he keeps checking you out.
04:27That's one hungry time.
04:29Really good.
04:29Uncle Bernie.
04:31Uh-uh.
04:32Chew on his ass.
04:33Uncle Bernie.
04:36Uncle Bernie.
04:38Baby girl, baby girl.
04:40Don't look at him.
04:41What you doing here?
04:42They're staring at me, Uncle Bernie.
04:44Come on, come on, come on.
04:46Ah!
04:48They better have a good doggone reason for leaving, baby girl.
04:52A good reason.
04:53Baby girl, popcorn.
04:55A good reason.
04:58Come on.
05:00Jordan.
05:01Jordan.
05:03Hey, quiet.
05:04Jordan.
05:05Shh.
05:06Come on.
05:06I'm sorry.
05:07Come on.
05:08Let's go.
05:09Jordan.
05:10Shut up.
05:12Jordan.
05:14Shh.
05:15Jake, you saved my life.
05:17Skippy.
05:18I can think of only one way to repay you.
05:20It's time to pull out the big guns.
05:22You know better.
05:24Whoa, boobies.
05:25Man, that's nice.
05:27Real nice.
05:29You think those are real?
05:30Man, there ain't no fit, nothing fit.
05:31Ow!
05:32Ow!
05:34Get up, get up.
05:35My face.
05:39Uncle Bernie!
05:40My dad.
05:46Oh, it's dead.
05:48You know you're dead, don't you?
05:49I told you to watch your brother and sister.
05:51You couldn't even do that.
05:52Baby girl ended up sitting next to me watching the most gruesome movie, and this young freak,
05:56he's sitting up there watching...
05:57Boobies, big ones, real live boobies.
06:00Jordan, will you shut up?
06:02Just show us, because you ain't got none.
06:04You ain't got no boobies, you ain't got...
06:05Jordan, shut up!
06:07Jordan, I hope you got a good memory, because that's the last pair you're ever going to see.
06:10Let's go.
06:10I'm on my own.
06:12Listen!
06:14Damn kids.
06:16Made me Miss Vegas for this.
06:18I should have put them in a kettle for the day.
06:20Here.
06:20I saw boobies.
06:22Yeah, man, I'm hurt.
06:26Yeah, man, my fault.
06:28Man, I'm sorry, man.
06:28I should have never been no doggone kids.
06:31But this, as soon as Wanda get in, man, I'll call you to a bounce, yeah?
06:36I am Jake Fury, and I have fists up alive!
06:41You want to see how Jake kicks?
06:44Ow!
06:45Ow!
06:46My shoulder!
06:48Ow!
06:50What's wrong with you?
06:51My shoulder!
06:53Ow!
06:55That hurt?
06:55I don't touch it!
06:57Chewy, this is important to separate this doggone shoulder.
06:59Listen, y'all go head on, man.
07:00I'll catch up with you, okay?
07:02I can't present her so bad.
07:04See, that's what you get from watching things you ain't got no business watching.
07:07Now I gotta take you to the hospital.
07:08Yeah, you got no business.
07:09Shut up!
07:20This hospital for the poor, man, they got one doctor.
07:22This is ridiculous.
07:23Don't mean no doggone sense, man.
07:25Mr. Mazur.
07:26Yeah, right here.
07:27Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, wait, man.
07:28He just got here.
07:29We've been here for three hours.
07:30What's going on?
07:31Sir, Mr. Mazur has chest pain.
07:33Boy, you gotta say it like he got chest pain.
07:35Boy, you better find something wrong with you real quick.
07:37Get some chest pain in the summer.
07:38I'm telling you, if I miss this flight, we're gonna be on the news.
07:40I'm not gonna...
07:43I was so embarrassed.
07:45Did they say anything?
07:47I don't care what Freddie said.
07:50Did Todd say anything?
07:52What?
07:52No, Jordan is not funny.
07:55Hey, Vanessa, where are they?
07:58Hey, baby, I left as soon as I got your message.
08:01Baby, I'm so glad you're here.
08:02The little boy's a little hungry.
08:03The kids need something to eat, but I gotta catch a flight.
08:05I'm out there's hot dogs there, and I'm leaving the mustard.
08:07Oh, baby.
08:08Come on, now.
08:09Wanda, I ain't no doctor.
08:10They're not here doing nothing for the boy's shoulder.
08:11Come on, let me live, baby.
08:13Baby, he needs your moral support.
08:15The boy's already landed in Sin City.
08:17Come on, Wanda, let me go.
08:18Baby, come on, now.
08:21If you're a little thicker, a little taller, about right up in here, penalty.
08:25I'll let you.
08:26Go ahead and walk it off.
08:30Okay.
08:31I know, I know.
08:32Ow, don't touch it.
08:33Okay, hey, baby.
08:34Ow.
08:35I know.
08:36Aw, baby, this is some bub.
08:38I'm out of here.
08:39I'm getting out of here.
08:39No, don't go.
08:40Hold on, the doctor's here.
08:42See, Jordan, you're in good hands now.
08:43Actually, I'm just here to take an x-ray.
08:46Why are you taking me?
08:47Uncle Murray, you're taking me somewhere.
08:49Hold it down, Jordan.
08:52Doctor, doctor, he's fake.
08:53I know what he's fake.
08:54I get him to do that all the time.
08:55When I want to get out of dinner with directors, I...
08:58You are lucky we are in an emergency room.
09:02Knock it off, Jordan.
09:04Knock it off for you.
09:06Son, you can tell me.
09:08How did you really hurt your shoulder?
09:10What do you mean by that, man?
09:11Hey.
09:16Look, Jordan, I'm going to go to the x-ray with you, okay?
09:21Thank you, Uncle Birdie.
09:22Okay.
09:23I'll be back, baby.
09:24I'm so scared.
09:25Don't be scared.
09:25Be back, okay?
09:27Come on.
09:27That sneaky little American.
09:31You see how he tried to blackmail me?
09:33Wine and weasel and weasel.
09:35All he did was separate his shoulder.
09:37It's not like he needs stem cells.
09:39Now I'm missing out on free drinks and bad lounge music.
09:42I mean, no offense.
09:44Get up.
09:49Yeah.
09:56Aunt Wanda.
09:57Mm-hmm?
09:58Can I ask you a question?
09:59Sure, sweetie.
10:00What is it?
10:02How old were you when you changed?
10:07Changed?
10:09Vanessa, you've already had your friend.
10:12No, no.
10:14The other change.
10:18Oh.
10:19You mean, when did I blossom?
10:21Yeah, because I sort of haven't, and a lot of the other girls have,
10:26and there was this party that I really wanted to go to tonight, but...
10:30You feel self-conscious?
10:33Hmm.
10:35Well, there's no escaping 14.
10:38Every girl goes through something.
10:41For me, it was actually the opposite.
10:43I was the first one to develop, and I was a stick with boobs.
10:47Ooh, do you know how that made me feel?
10:50Popular?
10:51Uh, no, that would be 16 when the rest of me filled out.
10:54But 14, I remember it was hell.
10:58I was self-conscious, I was embarrassed, and when they first came in, oh, they hurt.
11:06So, what did you do?
11:07I accepted it, and I went to parties, like you were.
11:40Look, they have free candy here.
11:41And one good show to relocate it.
11:43I could have done that hours ago.
11:45Well, America, that's it.
11:47I've done my duty.
11:50Joy and them baby girls are exhausted and in bed,
11:52and I'm gonna drop Ness off at the party on route to the airport.
11:55And then, and only then, I'm off the clock.
11:59I'm going to Vegas, I'm gonna turn me a good job.
12:02I'm gonna take in a couple of shows.
12:04Who can I see?
12:05My boy Don Rickles there.
12:07Don!
12:08I'm coming, baby!
12:14All right, Nessa, come on, I'm in a hurry.
12:16I gotta go.
12:16You in and out.
12:17What you gonna do?
12:19Fine.
12:19Have fun on your trip.
12:22Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
12:23Come on, close the door.
12:25I can't let you go like that.
12:27Look, Nessa, I don't want to tell me about your problems.
12:29You're talking about this old pewdie thing.
12:31I don't mean it like that.
12:33I'm saying your mama had a boy chest all the way up
12:34until she was 24 years old.
12:36What?
12:36They should call her mister.
12:38What I'm trying to say is, baby,
12:39some people develop quicker than others.
12:45Well, look, we'll talk about it, okay?
12:47So you, what you gonna do?
12:48You gonna stay or you gonna go?
12:52Just take me home.
12:53Okay.
13:05Hey, hey, hey, what's happening?
13:08What's going on?
13:12Oh, baby girl, you just had a nightmare going back to sleep.
13:16Come on, now.
13:21Baby girl, I ain't got no time to do no monster search.
13:24Maybe I wanted to do it.
13:25Baby, read her book so she can go back to bed.
13:27Uh-uh, Bernie, I tried.
13:30Apparently, the zombie in the R-rated movie you took her to
13:33ate the pretty black lady,
13:35so this is all you, baby.
13:37You can snuggle up to her to another scary movie.
13:39That don't make no sense.
13:39It's taking no baby to no R-rated scary movie.
13:42I told you, man, conspiracy.
13:46I think.
13:48You staying at the hotel?
13:50Not yet.
13:51Then that'll be $7.50.
13:52What?
13:54$7.50.
14:03Listen to everything.
14:09Well, I did the monster search.
14:12Surprise, America.
14:13No monsters.
14:14But could I leave?
14:15No.
14:16That miserable boy told her the monsters were invisible.
14:19Protect me, Uncle Bernie.
14:21Protect me.
14:21Yeah, but who protect me from them, America?
14:24That's the question.
14:25I'm the one in serious danger here.
14:27And if I don't get on that next flight,
14:29I'm going to miss the main event.
14:30Well, I'm going to tell you something.
14:33I don't care.
14:34I'm going to Vegas.
14:35Even if I do miss the fight,
14:37my main man Chewie just called me
14:39and told me he's going to be at the party.
14:40I'll just go there and hang with the champ, Denzel,
14:43and all the rest of them and whoever there.
14:44Oh, it's still on, America.
14:46As soon as that little pigtail-wearing stinker falls asleep,
14:51I'm gone.
14:56Where are you going?
14:58Baby girl, I'm not going anywhere.
14:59I'm just switching butt cheeks.
15:01Aw, Uncle Bernie, my shoulder hurts.
15:04All right, I'll get you some more medicine.
15:06Or the monster will get us.
15:08Oh, whoa, baby girl.
15:09Ain't no monster going to get you.
15:11I'll tell you what,
15:12I'll build a big force field right here
15:14to protect you till I get back.
15:15Yay!
15:16Yay?
15:16That's it, huh?
15:18All right, just stay there till I get back
15:20with your medicine.
15:47Wow, baby girl showed you like apple sauce.
15:54I bet if I'm me why you always got to be watching me America is there no privacy
16:01my own damn house you like big brother all right son here you go here go your
16:06medicine knock yourself out I mean that literally how you doing baby girl you
16:11okay all right you sure do you got your fourth field and can't nothing get in in
16:19that case I'll see y'all tomorrow some first deal can't even keep out stupid stuff
16:24rabbit
16:26uncle Bernie turn on right quick turn
16:35Bernie hmm hey hey you really don't want more for the kids today
16:39no baby why don't you go and if she wakes up I'll take care what really yes
16:56oh no one can stop me now those lingers don't even know how lucky they are see a
17:02different parent might not care so much would have been in Vegas hours ago now
17:06that's my new year's resolution cut out the fatty food care less about the kids
17:10I'm out of here yes uh let me see what's going on good evening ladies and gentlemen at this time
17:24the
17:24captain requests that all cell phones pagers electronic devices be turned off
17:35sir I'm sorry but that's going to have to remain off I'll be real quick I got a phone card
17:39oh yes
17:40it's FAA regulation okay
17:46it's probably the boys calling you know trying to find out where I am
17:51what if it's not
17:55memories memories
17:59sweet sweet memories
18:01of days gone by
18:05they make me cry
18:08memories
18:11memories
18:13sweet
18:14memories
18:16make me sad
18:21memories
18:22they take me back
18:24to you
18:32oh baby
18:33oh baby
18:37oh baby
18:41the problem is
18:44I do care about it
18:46Damn.
18:49America, I love them.
19:20Hey, baby girl.
19:23Looks like we made it, huh?
19:25It's light out now.
19:27You'll be alright.
19:41Uncle Bernie?
19:44And I love you too.
19:50Mm-hmm.
19:52Nessa.
19:55You used my phone yesterday, didn't you?
19:58You're waking me up to yell at me?
20:00You got a message on my phone from some girl named Donna,
20:03and then Todd got on the phone and started talking.
20:06What'd he say?
20:08Well, he said that he wondered why you wasn't at the party
20:11and that he'd seen you in school, you know.
20:13Well, how'd he say it?
20:18The boy like you, okay?
20:23Now, going back to bed.
20:30America, this whole time I thought my fight was with those kids, but it wasn't.
20:34It was with myself.
20:36Between the part of me who wants to enjoy myself with no strings and the part that's a good parent.
20:41See, America, personal growth and maturity can be irritating as hell, oh yeah, I know.
20:46But did you see the look in baby girl eyes when she saw me sitting there?
20:50Or the smile on Nessa face just then?
20:52Now, I don't know if I enjoyed it as much as seeing Hutchison beat the Todd of Turner, but it's
20:56close.
20:58Real close.
21:06Baby, baby, baby.
21:10Oh I don't know.
21:10You know, you're home already.
21:11Uh huh.
21:13How's the fight?
21:14The best man what.
21:29Uh-huh.
21:46You're rich.
21:49Cut!
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