The Bernie Mac Show is a beloved comedy series that showcases Bernie Mac’s unique humor, sharp wit, and unforgettable storytelling 😂🔥 When Bernie and his wife take in his sister’s three children, everyday family life turns into hilarious chaos. Packed with heart, laughs, and life lessons, this sitcom remains a fan favorite and a television classic.
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#berniemacshow #berniemac #sitcom #comedy #classiccomedy #comedygold #familycomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #tvclassics #cultclassic #comedymoments #throwbacktv #2000stv #entertainment #retroshows #iconicshows #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #nostalgia #television #comedyshow #legendarycomedy #dailymotion #mustwatchtv #classicseries #laughoutloud #familysitcom #tvlegend
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FunTranscript
00:01Who are you with?
00:32Joy, quit playing and eat your breakfast.
00:34Uncle Barney, you have to chew every bite 40 times.
00:36It's good for you.
00:37You ain't got that kind of time.
00:38Now swallow.
00:39Oh, hi.
00:40Hey, baby.
00:41Goodbye.
00:42Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, honey, hold.
00:44Come on now.
00:46Sweetheart, chew your food.
00:4740 times.
00:48Hush.
00:49You're always rushing out of here.
00:51Yesterday you rushed out of here, you left the earring.
00:53The day before you drove, you had a curl in your hair.
00:55Let me check you out, Sweetheart.
00:56All right, honey.
00:57Come on, you got two earrings, you got two shoes.
00:59No curl in your hair.
01:01OK, you look good.
01:02OK, thanks, baby.
01:03See you, baby.
01:11Yo, baby, what'd you forget?
01:12I forgot her bra!
01:16I can tell.
01:18Shut up.
01:20Oh, man, you see that?
01:22Wanda's job got her rushing around.
01:25That's not my style.
01:26I like to take my time.
01:28For instance, I'm going on Ellen DeGeneres Show in a few days.
01:32Now the trick to a great talk show appearance is having just the right story to tell.
01:37My job is to make it look easy.
01:39But believe me, America, it ain't.
01:41When I'm working on new material, I have a routine I like to follow.
01:45First, I start by setting up a little reward system for myself.
01:50Today's sandwich is ham and cheese.
01:53Next, I read the paper.
01:56It gets the blood pumping through my brain.
01:58And I follow that up with an inspirational movie, which gives me a warm, tingling feeling inside.
02:04This feeling helped me create.
02:11Bam!
02:13Bam!
02:15Bam!
02:16Bam!
02:18Guess I'll start with the sports.
02:25I love this sport.
02:30And finally, it's time to get down to the nitty gritty and put your thoughts on paper.
02:36I go work.
02:44I go work.
02:45I go work.
02:47I go work.
02:52I go work.
02:54Sometime if you take your mind off the task at hand, you need a little break.
02:59Come back to it.
03:01Let it simmer.
03:02Sit for a while.
03:03I go work.
03:26you quit your job it happens so sudden like it's almost shocking i know but when they gave that
03:33spencer my promotion a guy i trained they used to give me coffee yeah well that's some bull the white
03:40guy oh i just snapped and before i knew it the words were already out of my mouth i quit
03:48wow well
03:51but baby let me ask you something are you sure
03:57no but i gave them eight years oh no no eight years of being overworked
04:03and underappreciated that's far too long i wasn't happy anymore honey i need to be happy
04:10i know baby well look here's the fall in your bliss okay thank you welcome
04:21oh that's good yeah yeah you want to know what the first thing i want to do is what's that
04:27been
04:27oh i'm gonna get out these shoes well come on come on get out oh that feels good don't it
04:35come on come on sip here with me oh oh oh could you rob him yeah
04:46you know now that's bliss honey thank you yeah yeah it might be kind of nice having you around
04:54hey cool bikes i wish i had a bmx check out his glasses strapped to his head hey jordan come
05:02home
05:03why because uncle bernie says it's time to put the cream on your nipple rash
05:10yo man you know her she's hot vanessa that's my sister i wouldn't mind meeting her oh she's not
05:21allowed to have boys over but if you're my friends i can invite you over see i can tell
05:27we're gonna be friends right off the bat what's your name anyway jordan yo you should hang with us
05:33jay well if i'm really a friend you let me ride your bike
05:47big day today america got a lot of work to do time to get the train rolling today's selection how
05:55green
05:55was my valley with marine o'hara and roddy mcdowell and roast beef where i come from america they call
06:33this a sammich
06:34i was sitting there that's my drink
06:40i know i just needed to um watch my sandwich there oh it's so good
06:46wanda that's my sandwich no worries there's like three more in the fridge just like it
06:50but baby i had four to help me work doesn't look like you're working to me
06:56i mean like you got the movie you got the newspaper please who are you trying to fool
07:04okay honey you know what just come here sit right here and um read the paper with me
07:11come on and chillax
07:16chillax how am i supposed to chillax baby girl make less mess she handled the paper like she got hooves
07:22that was my set dammy
07:34hey vanessa this is my friend rich what's up ma
07:39hey what you reading sula by tony morrison you like to read nah
07:49it's a little it's warm out here
07:58um what what was your name again oh rich but uh you know i was working out over the summer
08:04and
08:04everything so my friends started to call me diesel oh well um diesel yeah could you possibly sit
08:12somewhere else cause you're blocking my son sure no problem
08:20that's it i'm gonna give you my best baseball card hey all i can do is get you in the
08:25door the rest is
08:34up to you
08:34honey i made this for you it's an idea board i got an idea here's how it goes you put
08:42your rough ideas
08:43here in this column and then you refine the ones you like and then you put them here then if
08:48they make
08:49the final cut bam good old column three you like it you think i don't
08:59baby you're a winner baby honey it really works
09:07that's cute cute's for monkeys
09:13the very effective technique that you should implement into your system the lack thereof
09:20she got to go american the woman just can't stop working see she quit her job and now she
09:27tried to tell me how to do mine if wanda and i are going to coexist peacefully in this house
09:32i have
09:33to set up some guidelines may i direct you to my baby's so-called idea boy look at this but
09:38i've
09:38changed it it made one of my own number one rule number one pay attention you learn something rule
09:45number one do not tell me how and when to work that's very important rule number two do not drink
09:52my pop you all saw her drinking my pop over and over again number three do not eat my sandwiches
09:58and i repeat do not hey bernie how's it going hey ellen how you doing ladies and gentlemen ellen
10:05degenerate you all know her oh hey hey girl good uh what's going on is this your thing you're
10:11going to do on the show no no this is my wife put together you know me better than that
10:15yeah you
10:15know i do a little something sure yeah you know what i was thinking you might do because i'm not
10:19going to do anything with it people say coupon uh-huh or some people say coupon uh-huh and it's
10:23i
10:24don't know if that's anything you could do any coupon or coupon i don't know that's pretty cool
10:28it's not too european it's not i don't know i mean it's just something i was throwing out because
10:31that doesn't seem real funny right there so well well no it's it's not funny it's not because
10:37it's hard for me to be funny because one she's all got me all clogged up she's all in my
10:40mix right
10:41now you know how comics work i'm sorry that she's got you clogged yeah yes bernie see what i'm saying
10:47ellen now hold this and talk to america and she's going to talk to you for a minute i'll be
10:51real yeah baby
10:53yeah yeah hey america how are you hello america i don't know how to leave i guess i just talk
11:09to
11:09you until i guess he's talking to wanda america we need to talk okay first let's eat
11:21what's all this lunch but baby i'm well i count five courses well you know how i get i had
11:29to
11:29channel that work energy somehow that's it
11:37baby i'm gonna need a oyster spoon and some hot sauce i guess i did get carried away that's us
11:48a couple of things america i
11:54hey bernie hey ellen it was just uh america was still here when you walked out and i
11:59i thought i'd talk to him so you can talk to him yeah no no i'm gonna um i'm gonna
12:03go hey i'll see
12:05on the show look forward to seeing you yeah all right
12:12you gotta make some more room room number four don't sit in my chair
12:21this better be worth it oh it is it's my sister and her friend and she's a cheerleader
12:45this is the one with the really cute body that you were telling me about
12:57hey why don't you come sit down
13:05no closer
13:13who's your um really hot friend yeah
13:17um kenny well hey k-dog why don't you sit right here
13:29you know we were waiting for our boyfriends but they couldn't make it so do you think you guys could
13:37um take us out yeah
13:42oh i i will great
13:46but uh first we have to make sure you're good kissers oh yeah
13:55we'd love to but uh uh we have to go finish our homework
14:07okay okay so i overreacted a little heaven around isn't all bad
14:34i don't think
14:40i'm
14:44Hey, what you think about the Ellen DeGeneres show right here?
14:48I was thinking about something a little more funkier, you know?
14:52Something like, like this.
14:58Oh, that's nice. Real nice.
15:00With a nice little jacket.
15:02Yes.
15:03What?
15:04Okay, good.
15:06Honey, what do you think about me starting my, uh, my own business?
15:11Wow, you talking about going back to work already?
15:13You only been unemployed for a minute.
15:16I mean, we still got a lot of baths to take, baby.
15:19I know.
15:20But you were right, you know?
15:21I don't do good with being off, and I get a little antsy.
15:25Besides, I know I can get more clients than I can possibly handle.
15:28I just need an office.
15:30What do you need an office for?
15:31You can work in a dent.
15:32I'll get you a desk.
15:33We work side by side, like Whitney and Bobby.
15:37Oh.
15:38I got you some strawberry margarita for a soul sisterita.
15:43Here you go.
15:44Uh, honey, I'm working.
15:45I need to contact my old clients to test the waters.
15:48Come on, let's test the water in the jacuzzi, baby.
15:50Come on.
15:50Oh, I'm sorry, baby.
15:51I'm busy.
15:52Come on, baby.
15:53Today on Golden Pond.
15:54Come on, Wanda.
15:56Bernie, if I'm going to work from home, we have to have some guidelines.
16:00Okay.
16:00Okay, number one, please don't interrupt me while I'm working.
16:04And two, please don't bring alcohol while I'm working.
16:10How come when I'm working, she come and rip my clothes off?
16:13But when she's working, it's serious business.
16:16Treat me like I'm a piece of meat.
16:19America, player to player, I feel cheap.
16:26So, uh, what happened with Vanessa?
16:28Uh, I wasn't feeling her.
16:30Plus, she's not even that cute close up.
16:32Yeah.
16:33Shut up.
16:34That's my sister.
16:35Yeah, she would have played her cards right.
16:36I'd be your brother-in-law.
16:38Except she has, like, mental patience.
16:41Do you want to read a book?
16:42No, what's a book?
16:43Oh, do you want a kiss?
16:45No, no, I'm scared.
16:47Kindergarten, longest three years of your life.
16:49Oh, I'm sorry.
16:52Let me go.
16:53Oh!
16:59Baby, you stopped up?
17:01No.
17:11Wanda, please.
17:13What?
17:14I can't concentrate with you making all that noise.
17:33Come on now, Wanda.
17:35Honey, I'm just opening a letter.
17:37Well, a loud-ass person must have sent it, because that's some loud-ass mail.
17:40Look, let me get out of here.
17:41I can't concentrate with you making all that noise.
17:44Oh, this is a boat.
17:46Come on.
17:46Oh, man.
17:52Baby, what you gonna do, follow me from room to room, making all that noise?
17:55What are you talking about?
17:56You're the one that said I could work on your dick.
17:58That's before I knew you made more sound than the 50-piece orchestra.
18:01Where you pick up that Tourette's from, huh?
18:04That snort, snort, click, click, honk, honk.
18:06I can't work like that.
18:08You are such a baby.
18:10Sweetheart, I'm sitting on the couch with Ellen in two hours.
18:12I gotta get my thoughts together, okay?
18:16Oh, I see.
18:18So, uh, when I'm cooking or rubbing your back, you don't have any trouble in getting your thoughts together.
18:23I didn't say that.
18:23Yes, you did.
18:24So now that I'm busy, you wanna act like a spoiled brat?
18:27I do not.
18:28You know what?
18:29Whatever.
18:30First thing tomorrow, I'll go get my own space.
18:32Why you gotta wait?
18:33Won't you do it now?
18:34Go on, you read through the paper to classify if you can get through all the mayonnaise.
18:38Seriously.
18:39So why can't you just stay out of each other's way?
18:41I mean, you're a man of, uh, you got the dough now.
18:44You have a big, you gotta have a huge house.
18:46You know, Wanda, she just doesn't understand how I work.
18:49Comedians, we work different.
18:51Well, you know that.
18:52I know that.
18:53You know, I work when I'm napping.
18:54Sure.
18:55That's when my jokes are percolating.
18:57That's right.
18:57How could she not understand that?
18:59It wasn't always like that.
19:00She used to pick my clothes off when I was doing the clubs.
19:03She used to come there and watch me.
19:05Before we got married, we had fun.
19:07Now, it seems like everything is just being on hold now.
19:10Oh.
19:11You know, I should have married a white woman.
19:14Well, you know, I remember we were struggling.
19:16We had a couch, Ellen.
19:17We didn't have much, but that couch was ours.
19:20I remember that couch.
19:21We even played.
19:22Yeah.
19:23Personal play.
19:24Huh?
19:25Yeah.
19:26Yeah.
19:27Yeah.
19:28Yeah.
19:31Yeah, time for bed.
19:33That's when I was younger.
19:34You know, that's when I was younger.
19:35You know, we just sleep on it now.
19:39Big difference.
19:40Well, Wanda was really there for me.
19:42I mean, we used to sit on the couch and we shared each other's dreams.
19:44She used to tell me about how she wanted to be president of the Fortune 500 company.
19:49Huh?
19:49And how I would always tell her how I wanted to be a famous comedian.
19:52I miss those days, Ellen.
19:55Me too.
20:02I brought you some margaritas.
20:04So you're not mad at me anymore?
20:06No.
20:06Now that I know why you were acting like a baby.
20:10I miss you too.
20:13Just let me know when you need some attention.
20:18Thank you, baby.
20:19You're welcome.
20:20Like old times.
20:22Yeah.
20:23Yeah.
20:24Ooh.
20:24Guess who got a call today from West Coast Wireless?
20:27Who could that be?
20:27That'd be me.
20:29Seems like someone's presence is sorely missed.
20:32And they want me to hear their proposal in the morning.
20:34What'd you say, baby?
20:36I told them I was deaf, unless it include senior VP and all the perks.
20:41They didn't blink.
20:43Congratulations, sweetheart.
20:44Thank you, honey.
20:46Oh.
20:47Baby.
20:48Hmm.
20:49Can I have some attention?
20:53Yeah.
21:00Slap, that one.
21:06Okay.
21:09Long road.
21:12That's blessed.
21:13Mm-hmm.
21:14That's blessed.
21:15You been walking a long time?
21:17Just like Harriet Tubman.
21:20Just like him.
21:24Just like him.
21:27What'd that mean?
21:29What?
21:33What's she smelling?
21:34You feel like him?
21:36You feel like him?
21:36You feel like him?
21:36You feel like him?
21:36You feel like him?
21:36You feel like him?
21:36You feel like him?
21:39You feel like him?
21:42You feel like him?