- 1 day ago
Dad Comes Back Part 02
Barbara and Julie are secretly hoping and plotting to get their mother Ann and their father, Ed back together. They have high hopes, especially when Ann allows Ed to stay over, but both of them are in for a rude awakening and a final acceptance that their parents will never get back together.
Barbara and Julie are secretly hoping and plotting to get their mother Ann and their father, Ed back together. They have high hopes, especially when Ann allows Ed to stay over, but both of them are in for a rude awakening and a final acceptance that their parents will never get back together.
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00:02This is it, this is it, this is life, the one you get, so go and have a ball, this
00:10is it, this is it, straight ahead, and rest assured, you can't be sure at all, so while you're here,
00:19enjoy the view, keep on doing what you do, hold on tight, we'll muddle through, one day at a time,
00:26one day at a time, so up on your feet,
00:30somewhere there's music playing, don't you worry not, just take it like it's off, one day at a time, one
00:39day at a time, one day at a time, one day at a time, one day at a time, one
00:47day at a time, one day at a time.
01:19Now hear this, now hear this, this is your super, and I am about to mop my foyer.
01:26Okay, anybody who wishes to take their dog out for a walk this Saturday morning will keep them on a
01:33leash till they get them out of the lobby.
01:36Once outside, they will move fast and make sure that anything that happens, happens in front of somebody else's building.
01:44Over and out.
01:59Ah, you're out early this morning, counselor.
02:01I was just getting the paper.
02:03Just let me know if you need any help with the crossword puzzle.
02:07I bet you're glad Ms. Romano's ex-husband split last night.
02:11Bet you had you worried, huh?
02:13What do you mean, worried?
02:14Hey, that guy's a jock.
02:16Are you kidding?
02:18If he had a passkey, I'd have to rank him right up there with me.
02:24Schneider, you are the only person I know whose pet rock is his own head.
02:32Very, very funny.
02:34But you gotta admit that you didn't like him turning up here all of a sudden, right?
02:39I mean, it was very easy to see why he was here.
02:42He had encore written all over his face.
02:46Schneider, you...
02:46Just like television.
02:48It's a season for repeats.
02:50Schneider, you are completely wrong.
02:52The only reason he was here was to announce that he was marrying someone else.
02:59No kidding?
03:02How come it's always the guys that get remarried first?
03:06You know why?
03:08Because there's more dames than guys.
03:10Which makes me an endangered species.
03:15I should be protected by law.
03:17Like the bald-headed eagle.
03:21Well, if they protect the bald-headed eagle,
03:23I don't see any reason why they shouldn't protect the, uh,
03:26rubber-legged goonie bird.
03:35Rubber-legged goonie bird.
03:37I'll give him this rubber-legged goonie bird.
03:41You're the cream of my coffee.
03:44You're the salt of my stew.
03:46You'll always be my necessity.
03:49Morning, Mom.
03:49Morning, darling.
03:50Morning, Mom.
03:51Hi.
03:51Where's Dad?
03:52Shaving.
03:53Ow!
03:54With my razor?
03:57This the same blade you got custody of in the divorce?
04:01Worked fine when I scraped the windows.
04:04Your lines are in the drawer.
04:06Mom, couldn't you put on something nicer?
04:08Dad's here.
04:10Okay.
04:12Guy, now it's gonna be tough finding the right outfit.
04:15I mean, I don't know what the right length is this season for scrambling eggs.
04:19Funny.
04:20Okay.
04:21You fix the bed and set the rest to the table.
04:24Okay.
04:25Got it.
04:28Barbara, uh, don't get pushy and don't get any crazy ideas just because Dad spent the night.
04:32I'm gonna buy a paper doll that I can call my own.
04:37A doll that I can call my own.
04:39Uh-huh.
04:40His singing hasn't improved any.
04:42Yeah, but he's in a good mood.
04:43And so is Mom.
04:46You know, I'll bet he didn't sleep out here.
04:50I'll bet he didn't sleep.
04:52Barbara.
04:53Well, the sheets are cold.
04:55They are all so rumpled.
04:57Come on.
04:58You know, if anything had happened, by this time, Dad would be yelling,
05:02Breakfast better be ready.
05:03I'm hungry as a bear.
05:05I think they still love each other.
05:07They just don't want to admit it.
05:10Dreamer.
05:12Breakfast ready yet?
05:13I'm hungry as a bear.
05:17Who's dreaming?
05:20Eggs.
05:20Eggs will be ready in a minute.
05:24Oh, Mom, is that the best you could do?
05:27You don't like this either, huh?
05:29Well, see, you know what I did?
05:30I sent out my strapless sweatshirt to the cleaners.
05:36It looks okay.
05:37Good morning, Julie.
05:39Morning, everybody.
05:40Hello, gorgeous.
05:41Hey, David, good morning.
05:43Good morning, Barbara.
05:49Look, I know it's early,
05:50but I thought maybe I would take this opportunity
05:53to give you that tennis lesson.
05:58Tables set for four.
06:00Anne, you knew I'd be down for breakfast, didn't you?
06:04Uh, David.
06:04You just knew it.
06:05David.
06:06You're taking me for granted, Anne.
06:08You're really beginning to think you have me where you want me, aren't you?
06:11David, uh, the thing is...
06:13Look, I know that after that boring evening
06:16with that dull ex-husband of yours,
06:18you'll be ready for a good workout,
06:20you know, a quick round of tennis,
06:21then off to the clubhouse,
06:23a couple of Bloody Marys,
06:26romantic discussion of my tennis elbow,
06:28which doesn't seem to be bothering me at all at the moment.
06:31Pardon me.
06:32Where's my shirt?
06:35Oh!
06:42Hung it in the closet.
06:43Thanks.
06:44Morning, neighbor.
06:49What is he doing here?
06:51He spent the night.
06:52Here?
06:52There.
06:53Maybe.
06:57Barbara.
06:58Julie.
06:59Anne.
06:59Girls.
07:00Uh, would you, uh, go in the kitchen and, uh, fix the eggs?
07:04Right.
07:04Dad's hungry as a bear.
07:07What did that mean?
07:08Nothing.
07:09What did that mean?
07:10Uh, David, look, see,
07:11it was after 11 when we finished last night,
07:14and Ed had a long drive home,
07:16so I asked him to stay over.
07:17And don't explain.
07:18Everyone knows that after 11,
07:19all ex-husbands spend the night.
07:22Why didn't you set a place for Ed
07:23while you were at it?
07:25Uh, David, there is plenty of food.
07:27As you well know, you are welcome to stay.
07:29No, thank you.
07:29I've already eaten.
07:31Too many times.
07:32Ed.
07:35Uh, David, I'm sorry about the tennis.
07:38Mom, you know you don't like tennis.
07:40Barbara, you're overdoing it.
07:42Good to see you again, Counselor.
07:43Drop by any time.
07:44Ed.
07:45I do, all the time.
07:46David.
07:47Nice to know you're around to protect the family.
07:49They don't need to get a German shepherd.
07:50Ed.
07:52I'll have to send your new bride one of my cards.
07:55I still handle divorces.
07:57David.
07:58Not having much luck with divorcees.
07:59Ed.
08:00Uh, hey, everybody.
08:01Breakfast is served.
08:02Julie.
08:03You know, if you leave right now,
08:05you could make it back home in time
08:07to have a Danish and coffee with Vicky.
08:09Uh, David, I'll call you later, okay?
08:11Take the elevator.
08:11It's faster.
08:12You know what I mean?
08:13Or if you're really in a hurry,
08:15why don't you try the window?
08:18Mmm, muffins are probably burnt by now.
08:21Sugar but no cream, right, Daddy?
08:22Right.
08:23Oh, good.
08:24Hey, they look great.
08:26Well, they are great.
08:27Golden brown on the top, black on the bottom.
08:29I'll take two tops.
08:30Okay.
08:31Mom, sit down.
08:32We will take care of everything.
08:33Okay, well, muffin, here.
08:34Here.
08:34You got one.
08:35Oh, how are the eggs, Dad?
08:36Perfect.
08:38Okie, okie, okie, ooh.
08:39My father's a ketchup friend.
08:42C'est la vie.
08:42Oh.
08:45Hey, remember the time we drove on into the country
08:47just to get some farm-fresh eggs?
08:48I certainly do, and Barbara wouldn't touch them
08:51after she found out they came out of a chicken
08:52and not a box.
08:56How are the eggs?
08:56You want me to get some, heat them up or something?
08:58I just, I only took one sip.
09:00Holy, hey, I'm not used to all this attention.
09:03I mean, with me, it's usually instant orange juice,
09:05instant coffee, and instant oatmeal,
09:06followed by instant indigestion.
09:08Well, Vicky will take you away from all of that.
09:11I got news for you.
09:12Vicky's blueberry muffins turn out flat.
09:14I've seen Vicky.
09:15She doesn't.
09:20Hey, I'm glad you invited me, Annie.
09:24So am I.
09:25I've forgotten how nice it is to be with the people
09:27I like most in the world.
09:29All of you.
09:31Hey, Ed, you know,
09:33you know I wish you and Vicky the best.
09:34I know, Ed.
09:35I just hope you're not rushing into something.
09:39Would that really matter to you?
09:40Of course it would.
09:42That just popped out.
09:44The girl's mouth is an automatic toaster.
09:47Harp, do you want to take this in the kitchen for me?
09:50Um, Ed,
09:53you know I want you to be very happy.
09:56It's just a really big step.
09:59Well, I know.
10:00I've been there.
10:01We've both been there.
10:03Right?
10:04Yeah.
10:06Oh, look at them.
10:07They want to be together,
10:09but they're afraid of it.
10:10Oh, I wish I had time to write to Dear Abby.
10:14Barbara,
10:14I want them together just as much as you do.
10:17But don't be so obvious about it.
10:18Cool, okay?
10:20Okay, you got it.
10:22Hey!
10:22How about a family picture?
10:24Honey, uh, no.
10:25We're not now, huh?
10:27Oh, please.
10:27You and Tegan on the sofa.
10:28Hi, we're having breakfast.
10:30Please.
10:31Determination.
10:32Okay, Julie, come on.
10:33Okay, no, I just want one of your mom and dad.
10:36Okay, now get closer.
10:37All right.
10:39Closer.
10:41We're getting closer.
10:41We'll pass each other.
10:43Okay, how's this?
10:45Perfect.
10:46Okay, hold it.
10:47There's no film in the camera,
10:48but stay right there.
10:49Don't move.
10:50Just stay right there.
10:52Come on, let's get dressed and go get some film.
10:54What do you need me for?
10:55You know how heavy film is.
10:56Oh, my God.
11:10Bam!
11:12Bam!
11:30Oh, they really blew it
11:32when they didn't cast you and Gable in Lombard.
11:37Hey, kids, how are you?
11:39Oh, Schneider, guess what?
11:40Mom and Dad are getting back together.
11:43Is he still up there?
11:44Uh-huh.
11:45Well, how about that?
11:46I should have run a bed check.
11:48Well, what are they gonna do, recycle a marriage?
11:50Wouldn't that be neat?
11:51Oh, isn't that terrific, Schneider?
11:53Cool it, here comes Paunchy Gonzalez.
12:00Did your parents actually say
12:02they were getting back together?
12:03Well, not exactly, but it's in the works.
12:05Uh, Barbara, why don't we go get the film?
12:07Don't be dumb, there's film in the camera.
12:10Uh, let's walk around the block, then.
12:11Anything.
12:12Uh, bye, guys.
12:13Look, uh, Mr. Kane, uh,
12:16hang in there, pal.
12:17I mean, you can get over this.
12:19You know, uh, what the heck?
12:21Some people's happiness is some people's sadness.
12:25Cupid shot a narrow into the air.
12:28And while you are a rather large target...
12:33The little fink mist.
12:39Thanks, Schneider.
12:43He's really taking it hard.
12:47Do you have any idea what you're doing?
12:50Sure, drying dishes.
12:53Ann, Ed, uh, there's something that I think
12:56you both should be made aware of.
12:58Now, I know that nothing happened up here last night.
13:01I know that, really.
13:02I do.
13:03David, come to the point.
13:04Come on.
13:04I mean, there's no reason why I shouldn't believe that, is there?
13:07David, what is it?
13:09Julie and Barbara think that you two
13:12are going to get married again.
13:21Oh, I should have realized the way we were acting,
13:39they'd start hoping something would come of this.
13:44Are you sure?
13:45Well, they're telling Schneider.
13:47Obviously, the whole world knows now.
13:50We really blew it, didn't we, Ed?
13:51You certainly did.
13:53I mean, you come here, you're, you're, you're, you're
13:55staying for dinner, talking about old times,
13:59spending the night here?
14:01Here.
14:01Here, of course.
14:02Here, I know.
14:03Here.
14:03Ah!
14:04I'm learning.
14:07Ed, you shouldn't have spent the night.
14:09You asked me to stay the night.
14:10It was just a polite invitation.
14:12She was trying to save you a long trip back late at night.
14:16That's all you were doing, right?
14:17Just, you know.
14:20David, nothing happened.
14:21I know that.
14:24Nothing much or nothing.
14:27You want me to sign a sworn deposition?
14:29No.
14:30If it would make you feel any better,
14:32I do have some blank forms upstairs.
14:37I'm sure you two have a lot you want to talk about.
14:40Yeah, if you don't mind,
14:41I've got to straighten this out with my girls.
14:43We have to straighten it out with our girls.
14:46Um, Ed, I hope that you and Vicky
14:49will be very happy for a very long time.
14:51Well, thank you, David.
14:54And, uh, please,
14:56the next time you're in town,
14:57feel free, always,
14:59to stay at the Holiday Inn.
15:07You know, I could get to like him.
15:09It'll be a strain, but I think I could do it.
15:11Oh, Ed.
15:14Those girls are building sandcastles.
15:16I thought they'd adjust it to the divorce.
15:18Oh, you try to kid yourself.
15:20Yeah, it's better for everybody.
15:21They'll understand, but they never do.
15:23Your first obligation is always to the kids.
15:27Maybe we were being selfish.
15:30You mean maybe I was being selfish?
15:35Ed!
15:36Divorce was against everything I'd ever been taught,
15:38but I knew I had to do it.
15:40Oh, what now?
15:46Schneider, uh, you rang the doorbell.
15:48I could have used my passkey.
15:51But out of respect,
15:53I didn't want to disturb the sanctity of two people
15:56in the throes of a reconciliation.
16:00How'd it go last night?
16:05Schneider, we are in the middle of something right here.
16:07I could not be more pleased.
16:10Now, Ed, I can't call you Ed, can I?
16:13Not necessarily.
16:16Fine, Ed, that's all right.
16:18Now, it's good that you two are getting together again.
16:22I mean, what makes this country great is the family unit.
16:25Without that, your pinkos, your commies,
16:28they move in, they take over,
16:29and before you know it,
16:30Mao Tse Tung is over here in San Clemente building a condominium.
16:37Schneider?
16:38America's first line of defense
16:40is the institution of marriage.
16:44Who are you to talk about marriage?
16:46My divorce was a patriotic gesture.
16:51My wife left me to re-enlist in the Marines.
16:56But a family unit that is once broken up
16:59and then re-mended again,
17:01that's, well, I mean, that's like them,
17:03you know, fixing the crack in the Liberty Bell.
17:06Look, if you don't mind, I...
17:08They never fix the crack in the Liberty Bell.
17:11Well, I know that.
17:13All the good bell-mongers live in Switzerland.
17:19Schneider, lead.
17:22Ms. Romano,
17:24I would not interrupt your privacy for nothing.
17:28But now that you're a whole family again,
17:30you're going to be needing a bigger place to live,
17:33and it just so happens that there's a four-room apartment
17:35on the third floor that becomes available
17:37at the end of this month.
17:39A couple living there is going to move out.
17:42The place is absolutely immaculate.
17:45Both guys are great housekeepers.
17:50Schneider, we do not need a bigger apartment.
17:53Now get out. Move. Please.
17:55Get out of here.
17:57You know, I, uh...
17:59I understand your impatience.
18:03Just, uh...
18:04Just remember,
18:07keep America strong.
18:17I don't believe that character.
18:19Ah, forget about him, Ed.
18:21We have got to explain to the girls.
18:23Don't worry, I'll talk to them.
18:24I'll do it.
18:25I'm their father. I'll talk to them.
18:27Damn it, Ed.
18:28Listen to me once, will you?
18:29I mean, I am not your empty-headed
18:32teenage bride anymore.
18:33Ann, I don't mean to shut you out,
18:35but it's my place to handle the serious things.
18:39You and Don Corleone.
18:44Look.
18:46Barbara and Julie were just fine
18:48until this announcement of your quickie wedding.
18:51Look.
18:51They need some security.
18:54They're scared of losing you.
18:55At the moment, that security happens to be me.
18:57Oh, Miss Security of 1984.
19:00Well, please, go ahead.
19:01Take over.
19:02After all, you're the new, free Miss Ann Cooper.
19:05Romano.
19:06I forgot.
19:07Ms. Romano.
19:08What?
19:09Well, go ahead.
19:10Never mind what happens to your daughters.
19:11Just take over.
19:11You have my blessings.
19:12Take charge.
19:14It'll be the first time you let me do anything by myself
19:16since you allowed me to give birth to Barbara.
19:19Wrong, wrong, Ed.
19:20You handled plenty of things.
19:21Oh, sure.
19:22PTA meetings, shopping, terrific.
19:25That is a cheap shot.
19:26Did it hurt?
19:27A low blow.
19:28Right on target.
19:30Mom, Dad, what's going on?
19:32Oh, well, here are your girls, Ed.
19:34Go ahead.
19:35Take charge.
19:36No, damn it.
19:36You wanted it so bad.
19:37Well, you got it.
19:39You...
19:42Oh, my God.
19:46Uh, look, uh...
19:48Uh, Mom, I don't think I even want to hear it.
19:50Oh, I feel sick.
19:51Oh, Barbie.
19:52Dad.
19:52Please leave her alone.
19:53Uh, Judy.
19:54Mom!
19:55Can't you see what you're doing to this kid?
19:57She loves you both so much.
19:59She just wants you to be happy, to be together.
20:02All she wants!
20:05Am I kidding?
20:07We both hoped it could be different.
20:18Hello?
20:21Girls, babies, try to understand.
20:23Uh, yeah, uh, just a minute.
20:25Ed, it's for you, Vicky.
20:28Oh, I forgot to call her.
20:30Hi, honey.
20:31Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry.
20:32I forgot to call you.
20:34Well, it was so late last night that they had invited me to stay over.
20:37I slept here, on the sofa.
20:41No, no, I didn't forget about the appointment.
20:44Well, look, if I leave now, I can still be there in time to meet your uncle.
20:47Or whatever.
20:48I'll be there.
20:50I'll see you.
20:50See you later.
20:51Bye, sweetheart.
20:53Go!
20:54Go to your sweethearts!
20:55Don't come back!
20:56Barbie, don't...
20:57Okay.
20:59Uh, Ed, would you leave her?
21:01Ann.
21:02I'll take care of her, really.
21:06Okay.
21:06Goodbye, Julie.
21:07Goodbye, Daddy.
21:09Goodbye, Barb.
21:11Please try to understand, honey.
21:12I...
21:14Please...
21:19Ann?
21:20Bye-bye.
21:29Oh, I hate him.
21:34Don't ever let me hear you say that again.
21:37But he ruined everything!
21:41Barbara, I want you to sit down and listen to me.
21:43You too, Julie.
21:45No matter what problems your father and I may have had or still have, he is still your father
21:49and he is a damn good one.
21:51He's done everything he can for you, too, and that includes a little crying, a lot of praying,
21:55and a good spanking when you needed it.
21:58And if you turn your back on him, you will break his heart, and I will not stand for that.
22:03We know that, Mom.
22:04We love him.
22:05Why couldn't it be a happy ending?
22:08Oh, honey.
22:11It is a happy ending.
22:13Come on, move over.
22:15When your daddy and I live apart, he's happier, I'm happier, and believe it or not, until last
22:21night, the two of you were happier.
22:24When we're all together, your father tries to protect us from the world.
22:28Nobody can do that.
22:30We all have to get out and make it on our own.
22:34Ah, your dad and I both want to protect you, but oh, my darlings, I don't want you to grow
22:40up the way I did.
22:40Dad, I want you to, I want you to start growing up before you're 30.
22:46Oh, why couldn't you tell dad that and fix it up?
22:49I did.
22:51When?
22:52Honey, the last four years of the marriage, what do you think all that yelling and crying
22:56was all about?
22:57Now, come on.
22:58It has got to be better having two relatively sane, separate parents than a mismatched set
23:04of screaming maniacs.
23:07I guess you're right.
23:09I love you.
23:15I can't leave you now, feeling the way you do.
23:19Honey.
23:19Oh, Dad, I'm sorry.
23:21Oh, babies, I love you so much, both of you.
23:25Oh, we know that, Daddy.
23:26We love you, too.
23:27We want you to be happy.
23:29We really do.
23:30And we'll be at your wedding.
23:31Just try and stop us.
23:33What can we get you for a wedding present?
23:36Oh, baby, you just gave it to me.
23:40You just gave it to me.
23:57Uh, I'm sorry for the interruption.
24:01Uh, this here is a dimmer switch, you know, dimmer for life.
24:06I'm, uh, I'm going to put it in your bedroom.
24:19It's just my way of saying America first.
24:24I'm, uh, I'm, uh, I'm, uh, I'm, uh, I'm, uh, I'm...
24:54This program was recorded on tape for a live audience.
25:30This program was recorded on tape for a live audience.
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