- 2 days ago
Charlie and The Pajama Intervention
While at his bank wearing only a T-shirt and pajama bottoms (sans underwear), Charlie becomes outraged over bank policies and fees and pulls his pants down. After spending a night in jail, he learns that the APA may suspend his license. Meanwhile, his patients have been trying to find another therapist after Charlie is frequently tardy and hung over, but they can't find anyone that measures up. In the end, Charlie has Jordan, Sean and his patients all appear as character witnesses before an APA panel, but only Jordan's wits (and strategic crying) can save Charlie's license.
While at his bank wearing only a T-shirt and pajama bottoms (sans underwear), Charlie becomes outraged over bank policies and fees and pulls his pants down. After spending a night in jail, he learns that the APA may suspend his license. Meanwhile, his patients have been trying to find another therapist after Charlie is frequently tardy and hung over, but they can't find anyone that measures up. In the end, Charlie has Jordan, Sean and his patients all appear as character witnesses before an APA panel, but only Jordan's wits (and strategic crying) can save Charlie's license.
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TVTranscript
00:02I'll show you we give Charlie five more minutes and then we go to hell home.
00:07Well, we might as well do something constructive while we're waiting.
00:09I'm cleaning out my purse.
00:13He could drop something.
00:16Why do you have this little volubrity lipstick?
00:23Because her big black lipstick is at home.
00:32Sorry I'm late.
00:33My golf cart doesn't go over 20.
00:36You drove home in a golf cart?
00:38I finished around with some friends I met last night and afterwards we stopped at the clubhouse to get a
00:42couple of drinks.
00:44And when I say a couple of drinks, I don't mean three drinks.
00:47I don't mean five drinks.
00:48I mean four.
00:51I can't believe you drove drunk.
00:53Well, I didn't.
00:53I met a couple of gals that were nice enough to get me right home in their golf cart.
00:56What happened to your car?
00:58What happened to your car?
01:00It's in the driveway.
01:02Well, great.
01:03When we're done, maybe you can get me right back to the golf course.
01:05I can look for my car.
01:09Hey.
01:11What the hell's going on?
01:12I thought we were taking the girls to breakfast.
01:13They're out there waiting in the cart.
01:15I got group.
01:16You said you were coming in here to use the bathroom.
01:18Well, I was.
01:19Until I realized I got group.
01:22Hey, Lacey.
01:24Gross.
01:26Okay, you know what?
01:26I cheated on you.
01:27I made a mistake, and I'm not that guy anymore.
01:31I'm going to borrow your hose.
01:32Girls and I are going to shoot a little video in your driveway.
01:40All right.
01:41What's the lead off?
01:42Come on, people.
01:43Give me your anger.
01:45Well, I had one thing happen to me yesterday.
01:48But it'll be easier for me to explain if I tell you what happened the day before.
01:53But to set that up, let me tell you about what happened the day before that.
01:56Oh, my God.
01:57Let me get stopped.
02:02Charlie?
02:05Damn.
02:06What the hell is wrong with that boy?
02:08That's two sessions in a row.
02:10Obviously, Charlie's just checked out, so I'm leaving.
02:22Ooh, that's cold.
02:24I know, right?
02:26Let's go at the back.
02:38Hey, JoJo.
02:40It's Jordan.
02:42I know.
02:44You're early.
02:45I won't be ready with my snappy comebacks for another hour.
02:48Hawaiian shirt guy, see, I'm not ready.
02:52My group walked out of me in the middle of a session.
02:54Can you believe that?
02:55What happened?
02:56I don't know.
02:56I was asleep.
02:58You know what?
02:59I'm done talking.
03:00I am way too busy reviewing couples having sex for our study
03:03to let your personal life intrude with my work.
03:07Holy crap.
03:08Is that you having sex with one of our research subjects?
03:12Of course not.
03:13That would be a complete violation of our study.
03:15It is.
03:16It's you.
03:17There's your face.
03:18Wait.
03:18It's gone.
03:19There it is.
03:20Wait.
03:21Gone.
03:21There.
03:22Gone.
03:24It's impossible.
03:25I've never had sex with anybody here.
03:29Oh, crap.
03:30The camera was on.
03:33What were you thinking?
03:34They could have us shut down.
03:36I felt sorry for her.
03:38She was in a bad marriage for years and she never had an orgasm.
03:41So you were performing an act of kindness?
03:43Well, technically it was four acts of kindness.
03:46Aren't you worried that her husband is going to find you and kill you?
03:50Should I be worried?
03:51Because I wasn't.
03:53According to her, he never finishes anything.
03:55You were completely out of control and headed for a cliff.
03:59You could have jeopardized our entire study for five minutes of...
04:04Ten minutes of...
04:07Twenty minutes of...
04:08Who are you?
04:10Just fast forward to the end.
04:12It's like an hour and a half long.
04:17Oh, God.
04:18He's in really bad shape.
04:23Yeah, but it looks like he created a really cool sport.
04:27Charlie?
04:29Charlie?
04:30I gave it the orgasm.
04:31You never could.
04:34You sure didn't take a lot of equipment to do it.
04:38It's just us, Charlie.
04:40Take it easy.
04:41Oh.
04:42Sorry, guys.
04:43I was expecting somebody else.
04:45But hey, you're all here.
04:47Let's get started.
04:48It's eight o'clock in the morning, Charlie.
04:50We're not here for group.
04:51We're here because we're worried about you.
04:54Yeah, you're acting like a completely different person.
04:56And I can't just stand by and do nothing like I'm at work or something.
05:01This is tough love, Charlie.
05:03Whoa, whoa, whoa.
05:04What the hell are you guys doing?
05:06Nothing.
05:07We just came over to share our feelings about what's going on with you.
05:12And then drag you to UCLA for a psychiatric evaluation.
05:17Guys, guys, you're worried for nothing.
05:19Everything is perfectly normal.
05:21Meow.
05:23Hey, when did I buy a cat?
05:27We've all written a little something down to express how we feel.
05:31I'll start.
05:32Charlie, I've always trusted you as a therapist, but lately you've been drinking and irresponsible and letting me down.
05:38Since you won't help yourself, you've forced us to help you.
05:42I thought you were going to cry there.
05:44Yeah, I didn't feel it.
05:44I wasn't going to push it.
05:45Nolan?
05:47You're going to make this real easy.
05:49You get in my car and I'm going to drive you to the loony bin and get you zip zapped.
05:55Maybe you're right.
05:56Maybe I could use some help.
05:57Let me just get a cup of coffee and then we'll go.
06:02Great.
06:14Aren't you cute stumbling down here in your little pajamas?
06:18Are you lost?
06:19Shouldn't they call your mama for you?
06:21Call me a bloody Mary, please.
06:23Precocious little fella, aren't you?
06:26Anybody who calls looking for me, I'm not here.
06:29And if a bounty hunter named Snake calls, same for me.
06:38Credit card was declined.
06:40What?
06:41Damn it, I just made a payment.
06:44Tell you what, as soon as I get someone on the phone, I am going to rip them a new
06:48one.
06:52Thank you for calling Sun Valley Savings and Loans.
06:54Your call is very important to us.
06:56Goodbye.
07:00Make it to go.
07:05You guys, he's not coming back.
07:07I told you this was a dumb idea.
07:09There's only one thing to do.
07:11See if he has some kind of journal or diary.
07:14What would we want with his diary?
07:15To protect it from nosy people who might want to read it.
07:19And silently judge him.
07:23Look, our friend Charlie is out there somewhere, hurting.
07:28He probably needs our help.
07:31But since we don't have time for that, I say we dump him.
07:35Yeah, he's gone bat crap crazy.
07:38Wait a second.
07:39We got to give him another chance, you guys.
07:41He's our dad.
07:43I mean, I don't want to talk anymore.
07:48Let's take a vote.
07:50Everybody who wants to find another therapist, raise your hand.
07:54No, wait.
07:55This should be a secret ballot.
07:56She's right.
07:58Everyone close their eyes.
08:02All right.
08:04Anyone who thinks we should find another therapist, raise your hand.
08:13Wait a minute.
08:14Something's wrong here.
08:19Can I help you, sir?
08:20Hang on a second.
08:21I want you to say, your call is very important to us.
08:26Uh, your call is very important to us?
08:30All right, you're cool.
08:34Anyway, my credit card was declined and I'd like to know why.
08:39I'm sorry, sir.
08:43It appears there were some suspicious purchases.
08:46Two cases of vodka.
08:48Mine.
08:50Charges were made simultaneously at two different strip clubs on opposite sides of town.
08:56Wasn't easy, but I did it.
09:00And a $1,200 watch was purchased from Beverly Hills Jewelers.
09:04Okay, okay, okay.
09:05That was not me.
09:06I've been in Beverly Hills since...
09:09Oh, hey, wow, look at this thing.
09:14Anyway, any other charges I should know about?
09:16Uh, no, but if you'll show me your ID, we can reactivate your card right away.
09:20And you're not responsible for anything but the $5 teller charge.
09:24Teller charge?
09:25Yes, there's a $5 charge for speaking to a live teller.
09:29What?
09:29You're kidding me.
09:31I believe the bank sent a letter to every customer.
09:34The bank sent me a letter?
09:36Well, how rude of me not to respond.
09:38You know what?
09:41I'm gonna write you a letter.
09:42Right now.
09:49I want $5.
09:53Sir, are you robbing the bank?
09:56No.
09:57No, this bank is robbing me.
09:59Hello, everybody.
10:00This bank is robbing all of us.
10:02$5 at a time for speaking to a human being.
10:05What's next?
10:06An ATM fee?
10:07Uh, sir, there is an ATM fee.
10:10And it's begun.
10:14Sir, would you please calm down?
10:16Don't tell me to calm down.
10:17I'm a licensed anger management therapist.
10:18I'll tell you when to calm down.
10:21You're disturbing the other customers.
10:23Also, you're required to wear pants in the bank.
10:27Oh, yeah?
10:28Really?
10:28What about this lady in a sundress?
10:30Is she required to wear pants?
10:32No, sir.
10:33It's just that pajama bottoms are not pants.
10:37Real pants are something you don't sleep in.
10:39You, sir, do not know how I live.
10:44I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
10:46Those are pajamas.
10:47They're not pants.
10:48These are pants.
10:50You want to say no pants?
10:51Fine.
10:52This is no pants.
10:59Could have sworn I was wearing underwear.
11:06Sorry I'm late, guys.
11:08Had to go home and change.
11:11I spent last night in jail.
11:14That's right.
11:15The pokey.
11:15The slammer.
11:16The who's gal.
11:18Oh, big deal.
11:19I had a pokey slammed into my who's gal this morning.
11:23How'd you get in trouble, Charlie?
11:24I was protesting an injustice at my bank.
11:27That's what I did, too.
11:28I protested an injustice at a bunch of banks.
11:33Well, mine was a legitimate protest, and luckily they let me bail myself out with my credit card.
11:37Oh, I didn't know you could do that.
11:40So, can you bail yourself out with somebody's credit card who you killed?
11:46Wayne, I don't think bail's ever gonna be an issue for you.
11:50Anyway, I'm in a bad situation.
11:52The bank dropped the charges, but I might lose my therapy license.
11:55Damn.
11:56Turns out the APA frowns on therapists who expose themselves in places where people bank.
12:02All that time in college, nobody's on a word.
12:05Is there anything we can do to help?
12:07Well, I do have to go before the ethics board, and I can really use you guys as character witnesses.
12:11I look forward to testifying for you, Charlie.
12:13I get a lot out of these sessions.
12:15However, I do feel compelled to tell you that I will be escaping afterwards and settling some scores.
12:25Ernesto, maybe you could speak to the board on my behalf.
12:28I'll tell the truth, Charlie.
12:29And if any of them look at you funny, I'll slit their throats.
12:36Okay.
12:39I just realized I've only got one spot, and it's Cleo.
12:44Oh, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie, goodie.
12:46Oh, and just one question.
12:48Charlie, can the men who escort me out of prison be small, weak men who are slow runners?
12:55Oh, you can't escape.
12:57Oh, who said anything about escaping, honey?
13:04How did the four of you end up coming to see me?
13:07Well, first we went to see Dr. Goldfarb, and then Dr. Blitzstein, and then some Dr. Jusenheimer or something.
13:16Excuse him, Dr. Russell.
13:17Ed has certain old-fashioned ideas, and by that I mean he's a huge bigot.
13:23That's interesting.
13:24We'll get back to that.
13:24And by the way, Ed, it's Jusenheimer he's a colleague.
13:28See, I wasn't being a bigot.
13:30I told you Jews have funny names.
13:33Not Chinese funny, but funny.
13:36He always does that, and he's constantly attacking me.
13:39No, I never attack him.
13:42He's just sensitive because he's more woman than man.
13:47I think you two need to do a soul stare in the resolution circle.
13:52Pardon me?
13:54Stand up.
13:55Face each other.
13:57Hold hands.
13:58Stare into each other's eyes.
14:00And apologize with your eyes.
14:01It's been nice knowing you.
14:04Do it.
14:17I now pronounce you man and disgusting old man.
14:21This is ridiculous.
14:23Charlie would have never made us do anything this uncomfortable.
14:26Yeah, so whatever you do, don't make me lay on top of Lacey or anything.
14:32I think we need to do a soul stare in the resolution shower.
14:37What is wrong with you people?
14:39Well, if you can't figure that out, then why are we paying you?
14:42Let's go, everybody.
14:44I guess it's not working out, Dr. Russell Stein.
14:48It's just Dr. Russell.
14:50That may be the problem.
14:57Oh, hey, Jordan.
14:58Oh, hey, Jordan me.
15:00You need me to testify on your behalf before the ethics committee,
15:03and you leave me a voicemail an hour before it's happening?
15:07You're a psychopath.
15:09Okay, but let's not leave with that.
15:12I'm not doing this.
15:13I'm no good unless I'm prepared.
15:14Fine, just sit here.
15:17It'll look good that somebody came to support me.
15:22Hello, Mr. Goodson.
15:23I'm Dr. Richter.
15:25These are Drs. Everett and Jusenheimer.
15:29Heemer.
15:31Sorry.
15:33Are you ready to begin?
15:35Yes, we are.
15:36This is Dr. Jordan Denby, here to speak on my behalf.
15:39And go.
15:48Hello.
15:48Hello.
15:50Someone once told me that when speaking to a group, to start with a joke.
15:55So, how many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
16:00One.
16:01But the light bulb has to really want to change.
16:11Oh, dear God.
16:14Keep going.
16:15You're doing great.
16:19Hello again.
16:22I haven't worked with Charlie very long.
16:26But I did get to know him pretty well when he locked me in a room.
16:29I know that sounds terrible, but in his defense, he had gotten me drunk.
16:34Because I was upset that he forced me to watch people having sex.
16:40You're doing terrible.
16:50Hey, guys.
16:52You look fun.
16:55I'd like to introduce Dr. Sean Healing as a character reference.
17:03Charlie is my neighbor.
17:05Known him a long time.
17:07A great guy.
17:09Exactly how long have you known him?
17:11Well, I've been living next door to him for almost two weeks now.
17:18But I've been having sex with his ex-wife for almost a year.
17:24That kind of blew up after I lost my job and ended up having sex with someone from his group.
17:33But now I run a pretty successful stream of strip clubs.
17:42So...
17:48Great guy.
17:54Do you have anyone else, Mr. Goodson?
17:58Nope.
17:59Those are the highlights.
18:03So, Mr. Goodson, we need to assess whether your conduct has damaged your ability to be a viable provider of
18:09mental health care.
18:10You need to start crying.
18:11What?
18:12I'm not crying.
18:13It's how girls get out of things.
18:15I'm not a girl.
18:17It's your only chance.
18:20I'm not doing it.
18:21Fine.
18:21Your funeral.
18:24Mr. Goodson, you may want to take advantage of this opportunity to speak on your own behalf.
18:33So, I pulled my pants down in a bank.
18:36But haven't you all been so frustrated with needless bureaucracy that you wanted to pull your pants down in a
18:40bank?
18:41Of course you have, but you needed a guy like me to do it first.
18:45Don't you see?
18:46Don't you see?
18:46I didn't just pull my pants down.
18:48I pulled all our pants down.
18:52Hey, Charlie.
18:53You guys came?
18:54Yeah.
18:55Yeah.
18:56You're here to speak on behalf of our therapist, Charlie Goodson.
18:59Hey, ethics people.
19:02Guys, I cannot tell you how much this means to me.
19:04And trust me, if I'm still your therapist by tomorrow, I promise to clean up my act around all you
19:10guys.
19:10Don't worry, Charlie.
19:12We got this.
19:13Sorry, Charlie.
19:14I thought for sure we had it.
19:17Well, you tried.
19:18Though it doesn't help an anger management therapist when his patients launch into a screaming slap fight to decide who's
19:23going to defend him first.
19:25Yeah, you're right.
19:27Lacey, I'm sorry I pointed at you in anger.
19:31Thanks, Ed.
19:32I'm sorry I bit your finger.
19:37Charlie, can I talk to you for a minute in private?
19:39Actually, anything that you say to me, you can say in front of them.
19:44They are no longer my group.
19:46They are my friends.
19:48I'm his friend.
19:49I'm such a better friend to him than you.
19:53Okay.
19:53I know I let you down, so I went to the board afterwards, and I got you disciplinary probation.
20:00You get to keep your license.
20:01Woo!
20:03What?
20:04How?
20:05Did you learn a new joke?
20:07Nope.
20:07I said all these amazing things about you, and when that didn't do it, I cried.
20:13Works every time.
20:15Well, I guess I should go.
20:16No, wait, wait, wait, wait, Jordan.
20:18You're a good person, and I haven't been fair to you.
20:21So I thought now would be a good time to thank you for all that you did for me.
20:25That is so sweet.
20:27But I'm not gonna.
20:30You'll get psychotically over-emotional and cause a huge scene.
20:34You're probably right.
20:43I'm your therapist again.
20:44Hey!
20:45But, but, but, this is not gonna be on their terms.
20:47It's gonna be on mine.
20:48We're gonna get rid of the old dead methods and do things differently.
20:52What the hell does that mean?
20:54It means that we're gonna start by having today's session at the horse track.
20:59Why the hell would we go there?
21:01What better a place to learn the ups and downs of life?
21:04Plus, they got beer and hot dogs.
21:05Let's go.
21:06Wait, wait, wait, wait.
21:07What if somebody from the ethics board stops by to check on you?
21:10Who cares?
21:11We're not gonna be here.
21:26We're not gonna be here.
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