- 2 days ago
Julie's Best Friend
Julie's new best friend is a stuck up rich girl, and Julie quickly demands more expensive things like clothes and that Ann send her to a prestigious school. Ann refuses to give in to Julie simply because she can't afford it, but that is when David steps in offering to kick in some financial aid for the Romano/Cooper household.
Julie's new best friend is a stuck up rich girl, and Julie quickly demands more expensive things like clothes and that Ann send her to a prestigious school. Ann refuses to give in to Julie simply because she can't afford it, but that is when David steps in offering to kick in some financial aid for the Romano/Cooper household.
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TVTranscript
00:02This is it, this is it, this is life, the one you get, so go and have a ball, this
00:10is it, this is it, straight ahead, and rest assured, you can't be sure at all, so while you're here,
00:19enjoy the view, keep on doing what you do, hold on tight, we'll muddle through, one day at a time,
00:26one day at a time, so up on your feet,
00:30somewhere there's music playing, don't you worry not, just take it like it's off, one day at a time, one
00:39day at a time, one day at a time, one day at a time, one day at a time, one
00:47day at a time, one day at a time.
00:58Don't touch that switch.
01:00I won't, I don't even want a vacuum.
01:02Hey, could you tell my mom I broke my vacuuming eye?
01:07You can use the plug, but don't touch the switch.
01:09Barbara!
01:10Don't touch the switch!
01:13What do you think of these jeans?
01:14They're great.
01:15What do you mean great?
01:16They're hideous, disgusting, and ugly.
01:17Okay, they're hideous, disgusting, and ugly.
01:19Ugh, what do I ask you for?
01:22You don't know anything from anything, child.
01:25You want to give them today's look?
01:27I'll soak them in a mild solution of rock salt and battery acid, and then I'll drag them behind a
01:31Kawasaki.
01:33I don't have a thing to wear at Beverly's this weekend.
01:36And even if I did, my suitcase is broken.
01:39So what?
01:40You don't even know if you're going yet.
01:41Beverly said she'd call.
01:43She will.
01:44Don't hang by your thumbs.
01:46Don't touch that switch.
01:49Oh, this dress has had it.
01:52It's a pit.
01:53I'm throwing it out.
01:55Throwing it out?
01:56Do you know that people are starving all over the world?
01:59Let me see that.
02:02What is that, a design or your breakfast?
02:10Don't touch that switch.
02:14Lucky it was me.
02:16Could have been somebody who didn't know what he was doing.
02:21Schneider, please.
02:22Would you wear this to the lake?
02:25Really, kid?
02:28Red is not my color.
02:30Oh, my clothes are so gross.
02:33Beverly says I look like a poor relation of the Waltons.
02:36Cut it out with Beverly?
02:38I am sick and tired of hearing Beverly this and Beverly that.
02:42It's so barf.
02:43You're just eating your heart out, junior jock.
02:46Because while I'm at Beverly's lake house this weekend,
02:49you'll be sitting at home nursing your athlete's foot.
02:52Athlete's foot?
02:53I got the perfect treatment for athlete's foot.
02:56Camp open eat.
02:59The old blue ointment.
03:01Put on that old blue ointment.
03:04I guess maybe it wasn't athlete's foot.
03:10I don't have athlete's foot.
03:13I got to make a call.
03:15Lay off the phone.
03:16I don't want to miss Bev's call.
03:18Oh, that is desperate.
03:20Hanging around, waiting for a call from Miss Snooty of 1976.
03:26My instructor at welding school used to walk like that.
03:31Look, girls, I blew the circuit,
03:34so I got to reset the breaker before the power comes back on.
03:37So please, do not touch the switch, huh?
03:39While I'm down there, kid, I'll fix your suitcase.
03:42Schneider, can you really fix a suitcase?
03:45Hey, can Ella Fitzgerald dance?
03:52You know, Julie, I am really surprised at you
03:55getting carried away over a snob like Beverly.
03:59Snob?
04:00Beverly happens to be the most loyal, faithful, wonderful friend
04:03anyone could ever have.
04:05That's why I'm glad she dumped Marsha Robbins
04:07the instant she met me.
04:10I'm gonna go through that pile of rags I call my wardrobe
04:12and see if there's anything I can wear to the lake.
04:14Oh, well, what about your mink coat and fur-lined snorkel?
04:29Girls! Julie Barbara! I'm home!
04:32Just a minute, Mom.
04:34Okay.
04:40$23 worth of groceries.
04:43Hey, God, you been shopping lately?
04:48Come on, are things gonna get better?
04:50Just, just, give me a sign.
04:56A simple yes and no would have done it.
05:05Uh, Mom, Schneider accidentally...
05:08Uh, yeah, you don't need to tell me.
05:10Hey, uh, listen, you girls were supposed to clean
05:13when you came home from school.
05:15I mean, uh, Friday's general cleaning day, remember?
05:18What'd you do, uh, send out for dirt?
05:20My queen.
05:21No, you didn't. You just, uh, moved the mud around.
05:25Would you vacuum back here?
05:26Yeah.
05:26How about, uh, in front of the coffee table?
05:29Uh, I, uh, couldn't reach.
05:33Barbara, look.
05:34I have been busting my back all day trying to find a job.
05:38Then I just came from a romp through the supermarket
05:41that thinks it's Tiffany's.
05:42The least I can expect is to come home to a clean apartment.
05:45Well, then you should have gone over to Mrs. Hanson's
05:48across the hall.
05:52Barbara, I love a good sense of humor.
05:56Dust off.
05:58Right.
06:05God, $23 worth of groceries.
06:08Still looks like Mother Hubbard's cupboard.
06:12I'm gonna have to have an entirely new wardrobe.
06:15Oh, good.
06:16You know what we'll do?
06:17We'll go down to the bank first thing in the morning
06:18and take out some money.
06:20You slip him the hold-up note,
06:21and I'll cover the teller.
06:24Mom, you expect me to go to Beverly's Country House
06:27this weekend looking like Raggedy Ann?
06:29Well, maybe you should do what I do,
06:30stay home and look like Raggedy Ann.
06:33Come on.
06:34I'm late.
06:34Mom, I can't go to a school like Armsby Hall
06:36with a ratty-looking wardrobe like mine.
06:39Oh, who said anything about Armsby Hall?
06:42Armsby Hall?
06:43You mean the one that Beverly goes to?
06:45That's the most expensive school in Indianapolis.
06:48You said I could go.
06:49When did I say that?
06:51The other day when we were talking about it.
06:53I said no such thing.
06:55You didn't say I couldn't go.
06:57Remember when I told you the tuition was $900?
06:59You didn't say a word.
07:01That's because it's impolite to talk
07:03and throw up at the same time.
07:06Ah, come on, Julie.
07:09$900.
07:11I mean, do you have any concept of the value of money?
07:15You said we have money in the bank.
07:17Julie, you know how much money we have.
07:19I mean, I've only had temporary jobs
07:21this whole past year.
07:23You don't think I'm not grateful in all your health
07:26watching me clean.
07:29But private school is out.
07:32Mom, private schools give you a better education.
07:35You get individual attention.
07:36Well, they only have 10 or 12 kids to a class.
07:39Barbara, when was the last time
07:41we had 10 kids in a class?
07:43Last year during the big drug bust.
07:45See what I mean, huh?
07:47My school is so out of touch.
07:49You know, my history book ends in 1950.
07:51Let it out, Barbara, Julie.
07:53Come on.
07:54I'm telling you, Mom.
07:56If it weren't for M.A.S.H.,
07:57I would never have heard about the Korean War.
08:01Julie, come on.
08:02I know Armsby Hall's a good school.
08:05Oh, I don't think you understand
08:06how important this is to me.
08:08Mom, I want this more than anything
08:09I've ever wanted in my whole life.
08:12You said the same thing
08:13the time you wanted to sell your sister to the gypsies.
08:17I don't think you grasp
08:19how important this is to me.
08:20I'm a full-grown, mature woman,
08:22and I think I know what I want.
08:24Ah, come on, Julie.
08:25You're driving me up the wall.
08:27I mean, how in the world
08:29could I afford $900?
08:32How much did that gypsy
08:33offer you for me anyway?
08:36Mother, we're having an adult discussion.
08:38Can't a bionic child
08:40take a nap or something?
08:43What in gratitude?
08:45And I was just offering
08:46to sell my body
08:47to pay for your schooling.
08:49Selling your body
08:50wouldn't keep me in erasers.
08:54Hey, what about Dad?
08:55You want him to sell his body?
08:58No, I'll ask Dad for the money.
09:00He'd never turn me down.
09:02Julie, you are not gonna do that.
09:03It is not fair to ask your father
09:05to take on an unnecessary burden.
09:07Dad doesn't think I'm a burden.
09:09Love sure is blind.
09:12I'll get it.
09:16Hi, guys.
09:17What's in the basket?
09:18What basket?
09:20David, what is all this food for?
09:23It's for growing strong bones,
09:25healthy bodies,
09:26and nice round bottoms.
09:28David, what did you buy all this food for?
09:31Well, I sort of lost my head.
09:33It was somewhere between the vegetables
09:35and the meat counter.
09:37Suddenly, everything went blank,
09:39and I just couldn't stop.
09:40You can stop now.
09:42Big milk!
09:44Big ding-dong!
09:47David is a gourmet shopper.
09:50Look, would you two kids stop
09:52if you act as if you've never seen food before?
09:54Listen, Ann,
09:55all this stuff was too much for one person,
09:57and since I do eat here occasionally...
10:00Four times a week.
10:03You had to have kids who could count, huh?
10:05Uh, David,
10:06we are not on the list
10:08of the hundred neediest cases.
10:10I can provide just fine for my family.
10:12Oh, not like this, you can't.
10:16Oh, a rib roast.
10:18So that's what meat looks like
10:19before it falls apart and becomes hamburger.
10:24David!
10:26Do you see what you're doing?
10:27What am I doing?
10:28Did I put something in the wrong place?
10:30David, you can't do things like this.
10:33Like what?
10:34Oh, that should go in the freezer.
10:36Bye for now, Rose.
10:37See you soon.
10:40Like, like trying to take care of me
10:42and the girls this way.
10:43It's positively medieval.
10:45The lord of the manor
10:47comes down to the serf's cottage
10:48and brings a fatted ox.
10:51Yuck.
10:52We made that a fatted Big Newton.
10:55You're gonna make yourself sick.
10:57And, you know,
10:58you have a totally perverted attitude.
11:01All I did was,
11:02I was shopping,
11:03and I lost my head a little bit,
11:06and I bought more than I needed,
11:08so I brought it here.
11:09Is that a crime?
11:10David, you are moving into my space.
11:14Or is that the master plan?
11:16And it is just food.
11:18We all have to eat.
11:20I'll buy that.
11:21Gee, it must be $80 worth of groceries here.
11:25No, $104.65.
11:29Uh, the checker didn't even say thank you.
11:35How am I supposed to pay you back for all of this?
11:38Invite me to dinner for the rest of my life.
11:41It is the master plan.
11:43I could be with you
11:46while I was lying.
11:49Schneider,
11:50don't you ever think of knocking?
11:52Well, not once I'm inside, no.
11:56Here you are, Julie.
11:57I fixed your suitcase.
11:58Now you're set for the weekend.
12:00Gee, thanks.
12:01Now I've only had some decent clothes to put in it.
12:04Aren't you ever satisfied?
12:06Beverly asked you to go instead of Marsha.
12:08Yeah, but what good is it
12:09if I go dressed like a cut-rate scarecrow?
12:12I'll try and cheer her up.
12:15I'll tell her I'm running away or something.
12:21I have never seen Julie so down.
12:24What'd you tell her?
12:25I can't marry her?
12:28Oh, my God.
12:29David, you see what I'm talking about?
12:32Ann, I fail to see any connection
12:33between me bringing over a little bit of food
12:36and Julie not liking her clothes.
12:38Oh, David, it's not the clothes.
12:40It's Armsby Hall and Beverly.
12:42Oh, well, that clears up everything.
12:45Just a second, Counselor.
12:47Is that your wagon?
12:49Yes.
12:50I realize it's against the law
12:52to remove these from the premises of the supermarket
12:55and that I could make a citizen's arrest.
12:59To say the word, Ms. Romano,
13:01we'll have the baby supermarket basket burglar behind bars.
13:07Pardon me.
13:08Do you sell seashells by the seashore?
13:11Uh, we'd like to be alone.
13:14You heard the lady, Counselor.
13:16She'd like us to be alone.
13:18And as far as I'm concerned, we are alone.
13:23Go ahead, Ms. Romano.
13:24Unburden yourself.
13:25Schneider, this is what I look.
13:28In these times, nothing is private.
13:31That's why God made Senate investigating committees.
13:36Oh, see, David, uh, Julie's upset because she, uh, can't go to private school.
13:48Well, why a private school?
13:50Well, she wants to.
13:51And besides, her best friend, ah, no, see, it's more than that.
13:54It's a good school.
13:55It's a very good school.
13:56And maybe Julie would get turned on academically for a change,
14:00but, uh, it's out of my price range.
14:03Like those groceries.
14:04Wait a minute, Ann.
14:05Don't take your frustrations out on my roast beef.
14:08It's your roast beef, not mine.
14:10Ms. Romano, you want to know something?
14:13You're making a smart move not sending Julie to a private school.
14:17You know what goes on in those places?
14:19Wild pot parties, augies.
14:23I know, I've done a lot of reading up on it.
14:26On private schools?
14:27On pot parties and augies.
14:30Tell you what I'll do.
14:32I'll send you up some of my personal literature.
14:35You read it on a cold night,
14:38then rap on the radio.
14:55Mother dear, I want you to know
14:58I'm very sorry for my whole attitude.
15:00Oh, well, Julie, I'm very glad to hear that.
15:05Uh, David, you want some juice or something?
15:07Oh, yeah, thanks.
15:08Okay.
15:08Mother dear, what I mean to say is that
15:12if forced, I can struggle through life without Armsby Hall.
15:16I mean, it doesn't really matter
15:18that I can't have the benefits of a better education.
15:21Or that I can't be with my very best friend.
15:24All it means is that if I can't go to Armsby Hall, I'll...
15:28I'll kill myself!
15:30That's it!
15:30I mean, just knock off the dramatics.
15:34I could do it for you, I would,
15:36but there's just no way.
15:38Here you go.
15:39That's all right, Mom.
15:40Beverly will probably understand.
15:43Uh, how much is this school?
15:45Oh, only $900 a semester.
15:49$900?
15:50Uh.
15:51It's nine baskets of groceries.
15:54Must be a hell of a school.
15:56Who do I make it out to?
15:58Who do you make what out to?
15:59The check.
16:00Listen, you got a little financial problem around here, right?
16:03And what are friends for if you can't take advantage of their generosity?
16:06Oh, David, David, you're the most wonderful man on earth.
16:10Do you know what this means,
16:11being able to go to the same school with Beverly?
16:14Oh, this is a dream come true.
16:16Nobody ever had a more generous, true, wonderful friend than you.
16:21Oh, David, you're super fantastic.
16:23Uh, Julie.
16:24Julie.
16:25Oh, Mom, isn't this the most fantastic thing?
16:28Here you go, Anne.
16:29Yeah.
16:29Uh, thanks a lot, David.
16:31Yeah, thanks, David.
16:32But no thanks.
16:33Ma?
16:34Ma?
16:36Ma?
16:37No, Ma, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
16:40Oh, Mom.
16:49You just tore up my chance to go to school with Beverly.
16:52Julie, I am sorry, but I cannot accept this check,
16:55and you had no right offering it.
16:57Why not?
16:57We need it desperately.
16:59We don't need anything that desperately,
17:01and certainly not to build up a debt
17:02for a luxury like private school.
17:05Ann, who said anything about a debt?
17:07Did I ask you when you were going to pay me back?
17:09No, David, but the point is...
17:11I'm providing another check.
17:12I'll tear it up.
17:13Why don't you just tear up my whole life?
17:15You know what this means to me?
17:17It means I can't go to Armsby Hall
17:19and be with my very best friend.
17:20If it was for anyone else, you'd do it.
17:22But for me, zilch.
17:25I'll bet it was adopted.
17:28Ann, come on.
17:30Take it.
17:31It's a loan.
17:32That's all.
17:32Just a loan.
17:33Sure, David, a loan.
17:35You loan me a roast beef in the morning,
17:37and then you loan me $900 in the afternoon.
17:39Come on, David.
17:41I can't make the roast beef debt,
17:43let alone the school,
17:44so just back off.
17:46No, I won't back off.
17:47I care about all of you,
17:49and I'm in a position to help,
17:51so just give me one good reason
17:53why I shouldn't help.
17:54Just one.
17:54Okay.
17:55Number one.
17:56One of the biggest problems with my marriage
17:58was I felt there had to be more to life
18:00than being supported by another person.
18:03And number two,
18:04if I take your help,
18:06I lose my self-respect.
18:08Oh, no.
18:08You won't lose your self-respect.
18:10You can put it in a safe place
18:12so you'll always know where it is.
18:15Number three.
18:15Never mind number three.
18:17I'll tell you what your problem is.
18:19It's your pride.
18:20Wrong.
18:21Wrong.
18:22Wrong.
18:22Wrong.
18:23Ah, David, don't you understand?
18:24It's not what this does to me.
18:25It's what it does to Julie.
18:27Open the door with your big loan,
18:29and every time she wants something,
18:30she'll expect to get it.
18:32I'm writing another check.
18:34I'll tear it up.
18:36Ann,
18:37if you don't take this money,
18:38I'm gonna mug you in a dark alley
18:40and force it on you.
18:44Terrific.
18:45Force.
18:45When all else fails,
18:46logic, reason,
18:47the man always resorts to force.
18:49You're not doing this for me.
18:50You're doing it for yourself.
18:52That is a totally baseless accusation.
18:55Now take the check,
18:57or I'll punch your heart out.
19:02Warned ya.
19:03Check number three.
19:05Fill it out yourself.
19:08I can keep this up as long as you can.
19:10Sure, sure.
19:11You got the easy part.
19:12I'm doing all the hard work here.
19:15You want to switch places?
19:17David,
19:18stop writing that check.
19:19I can't stop now.
19:20I'm on a hot street.
19:23David,
19:23stop.
19:24Stop being foolish
19:25and stop making me feel
19:26like the mean mother of the year.
19:28Stop crowding me
19:29into a corner.
19:30Stop devouring me.
19:32My God, David,
19:33think of my honor.
19:35I am.
19:36If I can't get it one way,
19:38I'll get it another way.
19:40David,
19:41cut it out.
19:42I cannot take that check.
19:44Not for a luxury
19:45like that darn private school.
19:47And I tell ya,
19:48I don't know how I can pay it back.
19:50I don't know how I can pay it back.
19:50Who asked you to pay it back?
19:51Who cares?
19:52Okay, listen,
19:53it's a present, all right?
19:54Happy birthday, Anne Romano.
19:56It is not my birthday.
19:58Give me that.
19:58I don't care what the hell day it is anymore.
20:00Okay, okay.
20:01It's a holiday gift, okay?
20:03Happy National Kosher Pickle Week.
20:07David,
20:08I cannot take a check
20:09for $900.
20:11All right.
20:11I'll write you $901 checks.
20:13It's a lot more work for me,
20:15but if that's the way you are...
20:17Snyder,
20:18will you please beat it?
20:19We're in the middle
20:19of an important discussion here.
20:21I heard.
20:22The whole building heard.
20:26Look, Ms. Romano,
20:27will you do yourself a favor?
20:29Will you take the money?
20:30The kid will be happy.
20:33Teddy the bear will be happy.
20:36I'll be happy.
20:37The whole building's gonna be happy.
20:41Anne?
20:42The man speaks sense.
20:44Listen to him.
20:46Ms. Romano,
20:47I sympathize,
20:47but sometimes, you know,
20:49we do things
20:49that we might not otherwise do
20:51if things were perfect.
20:53That is the game of life.
20:56So play it.
20:57I mean,
20:58the legal beagle here,
20:59he's got it to give.
21:02You need it to take.
21:04It's a perfect setup.
21:06We both know
21:07he didn't work for the money.
21:15He squeezed it
21:16in the little people.
21:21Politics makes strange bedfellows.
21:29I am not
21:30your strange bedfellows.
21:34Now, it's lawyers.
21:37It used to be
21:38that you had to watch out
21:39for your toe dances.
21:44The Solomon of the cellar
21:46has spoken.
21:48Do you want to take the check now?
21:50Oh, Julie,
21:50this most stupidest person
21:51in the house,
21:51would you get off my back?
21:53No!
21:53Can't you see
21:54what you're doing to Mom?
21:55Can't you see
21:55what Mom is doing to me?
21:57Just exactly
21:58what am I doing to you, Julie?
22:00You're destroying me!
22:02I mean,
22:03the one thing I wanted
22:03more than anything
22:04in the world.
22:05David offers to help.
22:07Uh...
22:07Uh, hey,
22:08I'll just pick up the phone.
22:09Julie,
22:10would you just please listen?
22:11Stop it, Mom!
22:11Beverly's my friend,
22:13my best friend,
22:13but obviously
22:14you don't mean
22:14to have any friends.
22:15Uh, Julie,
22:16it's for you.
22:17Take a message.
22:18Julie, you're a cell citizen
22:19and social planning dimwins.
22:20Stay out of this, punk!
22:22Julie, Laura, Cooper,
22:23I have had it now!
22:25I do not want to hear
22:26one more word
22:27about this Ormsby Hall
22:29or Beverly.
22:30That's...
22:30All right!
22:30All right,
22:31I'll never mention
22:32either of them again!
22:33But I want you to know
22:34one thing about
22:35our relationship,
22:37Mother.
22:38It'll never be the same.
22:40That's just fine.
22:42Okay, I'll tell her.
22:43Uh, Julie?
22:44Yeah!
22:46Oh, uh,
22:47that was someone
22:47named Beverly.
22:49Beverly?
22:49Right,
22:50and, uh,
22:50she said something
22:51about the lake
22:52and, uh,
22:53she said she could
22:54only have one guest
22:55and Marsha,
22:56somebody or other,
22:57was going
22:57and they were just leaving.
22:59It's all right here
23:00on the back of the check.
23:09What is it
23:10with this family in check?
23:14All right,
23:15but I don't go to the lake.
23:17It's a cruddy lake anyway.
23:19And anyone who wants
23:20to be friends
23:21with Marsha Robbins
23:21has taste in their tale.
23:24Oh,
23:24and it's asked
23:25for that private school!
23:27Mom,
23:27leave me alone.
23:28Sure.
23:29Okay.
23:30Hey, listen,
23:32did I, uh...
23:33Let's go.
23:33Leave me alone.
23:36Okay?
23:37Okay.
23:40Do you have any money?
23:41I...
23:42That was my last check.
23:47Leave.
23:51Oh, Mom!
23:52Okay.
23:55Oh...
23:56It's gonna be okay.
23:58Okay.
23:59Okay.
24:00Okay.
24:00Okay.
24:02Okay.
24:06Oh, my God.
24:08Okay.
24:32This program was recorded on tape for a live audience.
24:59This program was produced by The Wichelt.
24:59The Wichelt St. the history of the Wichelt St. the city.
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