- 1 day ago
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00:10Oh, my God.
00:42Oh, George!
00:44It says in my stars it's going to be my lucky day.
00:47So I should watch your step when you're crossing the road.
00:50Oh, some sort of special occasion, is it?
00:52Yeah, yeah.
00:53Yes, I thought so. You've washed your neck.
00:56Yes, a dance match at the British Legion.
00:58Oh, that nonsense.
01:01I don't see the point, George.
01:03It's on the front end of the dart.
01:05Oh, my God.
01:07Look, George, does it never occur to you
01:09that I might like to come out with you one evening?
01:11Well, you don't play darts.
01:13Look, George, London has got a lot more than that to offer.
01:16I mean, there's the opera, ballet, theatre, cinema,
01:22train spotting, rooting through old dustbins, anything.
01:25Well, I'm taking you out.
01:27Oh, yes, the Festival of Britain.
01:29You know, one of these days, George,
01:30you're going to come back here and you're going to find me gone.
01:33Some other man will have snapped me up.
01:35Tch, that's all I ever get, innit? Promises.
01:40Oh, dear, I don't know, women.
01:42Hey, tell me something.
01:44Would you always be nagging at me to take you out?
01:47No, I would not.
01:48Yeah.
01:49Yeah, well, there you are, you see.
01:50I mean, she's always protecting me.
01:52Yeah.
01:54Dash, a mere dash of tarragon.
01:58Little hint of cinnamon.
02:01And a suspicion, no more, of Basil.
02:04Basil?
02:05Yeah, one of the nicest fellas that ever got shredded.
02:08Oh, come on.
02:10Come on, Joe, just look at that, eh?
02:11Just look at that.
02:12Eat your heart out, Fanny Craddock.
02:15Shall I put the tomato sauce on the table?
02:17Don't you dare.
02:18Mmm, it smells nice.
02:20What is it?
02:20Well, it's an old Polynesian recipe.
02:23Baked long pig and banana leaves.
02:25What?
02:26Well, actually, I've had to use chicken.
02:28Do you know, Tesco's didn't have one missionary left on the shop.
02:31They're not exactly famous for their banana leaves.
02:33That is true.
02:34So I had to use lettuce.
02:35So it's chicken and salad?
02:38Yes.
02:40Tomato sauce.
02:43Oh, that's it.
02:44Fine.
02:44Just let me to do it all by myself.
02:46Do you want me to help you?
02:47Oh, go on, just push off.
02:49Hey, you're late coming back.
02:50What kept you?
02:51Oh, the usual thing.
02:52Five minutes before knocking off time,
02:53old Wilkins comes out with a stack of reports to file.
02:56I'd have told him what he could do with his reports.
02:58Yeah, I did.
02:58That's what kept me.
03:00Hey, they're nice.
03:02Oh, yeah, they're for you.
03:02They're on the hall table.
03:03Oh, really?
03:05Oh.
03:07From an admirer.
03:08Uh, the chicken will be read in five minutes, all right?
03:11Hasn't he got a name?
03:13Uh, all right.
03:14Fred the chicken will be read in five minutes.
03:17That's all it says, just from an admirer.
03:19There's no name.
03:20There's a name on the envelope.
03:21Yeah, Chrissie Plummer.
03:22That's me.
03:23Look, I don't even recognise the handwriting.
03:25Actually, can I have a look?
03:26Because I know a little bit about this sort of thing, you see?
03:28You see there?
03:29You see the loop there on the Y?
03:30Now, that is very, very common in a certain type of man.
03:34Jack the Rip used to use it.
03:35Oh, quiet.
03:36Oh, I think it's really romantic.
03:38Yeah, so do I.
03:39He's most probably a very nice guy.
03:40Oh, I'm not so sure.
03:42The bell.
03:43The bell.
03:44Oh, fuck off.
03:46Don't you like them?
03:47Well, if Robert Redford sent them, yeah.
03:49If old Roper sent them, no way.
03:50I just want to know who it is.
03:52Perhaps they're from Larry.
03:53What?
03:54Flowers?
03:54No, it's not his style.
03:55It's wham, bam, thank you, ma'am.
03:57That's Larry.
03:58You've just heard it set the fact that you've gotten a secret admirer
04:00who's most probably got his binoculars trained on here at this very moment.
04:03Oh, that's it.
04:04You can have them.
04:05I don't want your car stops.
04:07Okay.
04:07Come on, girls.
04:09Come and get it.
04:09Oh, I'll let Mrs Roper have them.
04:11Hey, hey, hey, don't go and wash your hands now.
04:14You do this every time dinner's ready.
04:15You come in, you wash your hands, and it gets cold.
04:18Now, it's not fair on me, and it's not fair on Fred.
04:20Fred?
04:22Fred.
04:23Arthur, Bill.
04:24Who knows?
04:25The unknown chicken.
04:27Perhaps he'd like the flowers.
04:30Do you know, the sad thing about it is he never knew he was going to be superbly cooked by
04:33me.
04:33It might have given him a little peace at the end.
04:35He's got a little peace at the end.
04:38Shut up.
04:39All that talk about missionaries and long pig.
04:41Ah, I was only joking.
04:42Right, who wants Fred's leg, eh?
04:48Oh, they're lovely, dear.
04:50Thank you over so much.
04:52And you really don't know who they're from?
04:53No, just from an admirer.
04:55I mean, that could be half the men in the country.
04:57Well, yes.
04:58I don't suppose you've noticed any strange men hanging about?
05:01No, dear.
05:02Only George.
05:04I didn't wonder if it could be that new milkman.
05:07I mean, he's made a pass at every woman in the street.
05:09Er, not every woman, dear, no.
05:11No.
05:12Well, every young woman.
05:14Er, every, er, every...
05:16It could be the Coleman.
05:18I mean, he's always chatting up the women, isn't he?
05:20No, he's not, no.
05:21Not many of them at all, no.
05:23Oh, it's all right, dear.
05:24I know I'm past it.
05:25George keeps telling me so.
05:27Well, that's absolutely ridiculous.
05:28I mean, if you had your hair done...
05:30I had it done this morning.
05:32And it really looks nice, which absolutely proves my point.
05:35And I'm sure Mr. Roper thinks so.
05:36And, I mean, even if he doesn't, what does he know?
05:38Should we get back to the flowers, love?
05:40Good idea.
05:40Yes.
05:41You know what I'm going to do?
05:42I'm going to get my best flowers out,
05:44and I'm going to put them in the window.
05:45Oh, perhaps that'll catch the milkman's eye.
05:50You know, I think it's really daft.
05:51I'd like to give me a chicken a name just before you eat it.
05:54Yes, I agree with you.
05:55And so does Lottie, too.
05:56What?
05:57Lottie lettuce.
05:58What a woman.
06:00Mrs. Roper was thrilled to bits with the flowers.
06:02Don't expect she gets a lot off, old Roper.
06:04Well, we didn't discuss that,
06:05but she was thrilled to bits with the flowers.
06:08Listen, have you found it yet, um...
06:10Who might have sent you the flowers?
06:12No.
06:13I wonder if it could be someone from the office.
06:15Oh, yeah.
06:16It might be, uh, what's her name?
06:17Uh, the one, uh, who wears the tweeds with a small moustache.
06:20Miss Butcher?
06:22No, um, accounts.
06:23Uh, Grimes.
06:24Mr. Grimes.
06:25But he's over 60.
06:26Oh, I tell you what, they're the worst, you know.
06:28Quicker to write a job with their pension book,
06:30slinging over the back of their wheelchair,
06:31and off into the night.
06:33Hey, it could be Ginger, the office boy.
06:35No.
06:35Double writing.
06:36Yeah.
06:37I tell you what, you know,
06:38you've had some very weird boyfriends.
06:40It's most probably one of them.
06:41Right.
06:42Yes.
06:45Who's that one who used to write you poetry?
06:48You know, the one with the big nose.
06:50Clive?
06:50Anyway, he didn't have a big nose.
06:52Just had a small face.
06:55Anyway, he went all Harry Krishna.
06:57Tongue?
06:58No.
06:59Trevor?
07:00Never.
07:01Could be Bernard.
07:02He used to quite fancy me.
07:04Oh, yeah, he was always around here
07:05with his tongue hanging out on the doormat.
07:07Do you know, I tell you what,
07:07I never knew girls kept little black books.
07:09I mean, that's against nature.
07:10Well, I do.
07:11Hey, hey, what are those little stars there
07:14by the side of the name?
07:15Mind your own business.
07:17I know what they're for.
07:18No, they're not.
07:20They're just the number of times I went out with them.
07:22Oh.
07:23I can't think of it.
07:25Bernard was always sending you flowers
07:26and chocolates and things.
07:27Hey, and what's that there?
07:29L-H-O-T-M.
07:30Left hand on thigh merchant.
07:32You know, I haven't seen Bernard for ages.
07:35Well, maybe he's trying to re-establish contact.
07:37Yeah, something about you, you know,
07:39has brought the memory flooding back.
07:41Yeah?
07:42You know, a faded rose.
07:44A snatch of some romantic song.
07:46A pair of knickers in the glove compartment.
07:48You know.
07:49Well, why don't you ring him up
07:50and ask him if he sent them?
07:51I don't like to.
07:53Besides, he might not still be at this number.
07:57Huh?
08:04Cynthia, could you shut him up just for a minute?
08:07The phone's ringing.
08:16Hello.
08:17Hello, Bernard.
08:18Who's that?
08:19It's Chrissy.
08:21Chrissy?
08:22Oh, Chrissy.
08:23Hello.
08:24It's ages since we had a chat.
08:25How are things?
08:26Fine.
08:26Listen, have you sent me any flowers?
08:28Flowers?
08:29Well, not for 18 months.
08:30Have you only just got them?
08:32No, I mean, recently.
08:34No, but, um, I'm quite willing to.
08:38Hey, um, look, Chrissy, why don't we get together?
08:40I come round to your place, pick you up.
08:41It would be quite like old times.
08:43Um, it's, uh, still in very good condition.
08:45It's, uh, dark blue.
08:47It's got two canvas handles on either side,
08:49so you can lift it.
08:51Something about the carry cop.
08:53Uh, yes, it's, uh, it's secondhand, of course.
08:55Um, well, I mean, we bought it secondhand,
08:57so it'd be thirdhand when you, um,
09:00oh, fourthhand, maybe.
09:02And then we could go to that little bistro.
09:03You know, the one we used to go to?
09:04Well, it's got canvas handles on so I can lift it.
09:08Ah, well, um, the carry cop.
09:11You see, um, the wife wants to sell it
09:13now that the twins have grown out of it.
09:16Bye, Bernard.
09:17No, no, Chrissy, now, listen.
09:18Honestly, she doesn't really understand.
09:19No, but I do.
09:20Yeah, but, Chrissy, look, now, look.
09:23We had a, we had a thing going together.
09:25I mean, don't let's throw it all
09:26just because it's, uh, white plastic line
09:28with a steeple frame.
09:32Any luck?
09:33Not unless you want to buy a carry cop.
09:35I wonder if Colin could have sent them.
09:41Oh, I was robbed, Mildred, robbed.
09:44I should have been runner-up.
09:46Now, that, that fellow who chops up the score,
09:48he's got it in for me.
09:49Well, I'm not surprised.
09:50You've had a dart through his hand twice.
09:52Oh, yeah, that's it.
09:54Go on.
09:54No sympathy.
09:55All right, George.
09:56I'm sorry.
09:57You're such a rotten darts player.
09:59You resent me popping across to the British Legion, don't you?
10:01I don't care if you pop across to the Foreign Legion.
10:04Look, what have you been doing to my best flower vase?
10:07Oh, yeah, I was mixing a bit of polyfilla in it.
10:12It's awful and rock hard.
10:13Well, it's all right, put in short flowers.
10:16Oh, you cut the stalk stuff.
10:17Here.
10:18Have you been throwing away good housekeeping money?
10:20They were given to me, George.
10:22Oh, come off it.
10:23Who'd give you...
10:24from an admirer?
10:26What?
10:27I see.
10:28All right, Mildred, who is it?
10:30George, it...
10:30It's that new milkman, isn't it?
10:32He's not particular.
10:32Oh, thank you.
10:35Well, who is it, then?
10:36Look, George, I don't know what...
10:38Now, come off it.
10:39I'm not that daft out with it.
10:40Now, who is it?
10:45Wouldn't you like to know?
11:22Hey, I've just realised something.
11:24It's Jo's turn to do the tidying up this week.
11:26Oh, I know it was, but do you remember,
11:27you swapped because she did your turn to do last week's laundry.
11:30No, no, no, no, that was in exchange for my turn
11:33at the washing up, which was originally your turn,
11:35but you changed the beds instead.
11:36Yeah, well, whose turn was it to ride out the rotor?
11:38Yours, but I said I'd do it instead if you went to...
11:40Oh, forget it, forget it, forget it.
11:43Listen, Jo, it's your turn to do the tidying up.
11:45Yeah, I know.
11:46Oh.
11:47Going to do it when you two have gone to the pub.
11:49Oh, are we going to the pub?
11:51Well, it's your turn.
11:52My ears.
11:54The post has just arrived.
11:56Only gas and electric, dear.
11:58Oh, great, thank you.
12:00Well, I mean, they're not final demands.
12:03Oh, and this was left on the step for you.
12:06I thought I'd better bring it straight up in case it was important.
12:08I recognise that handwriting.
12:10Oh.
12:11Yeah, it's that fair.
12:12I don't know.
12:13Oh.
12:15Chocolates.
12:16Oh.
12:16From an admirer.
12:18As the motor strikes again, the bells.
12:22Oh, I think it's really romantic.
12:24Well, I don't.
12:25I don't like this sort of thing.
12:26I mean, for all I know, they could be...
12:29Well, they might be...
12:30Drugged.
12:31Yes.
12:32No, calories don't do drug chocolates.
12:35Look, if you think it's romantic, you can have them.
12:37I'm on a diet.
12:38Well, I don't want them.
12:40Um, well, I think I'm...
12:41Oh, Mrs. Roper, would you like them?
12:43Oh, no, dear, no.
12:44No, I couldn't.
12:45No, no, no, really.
12:47I mean, it's such a lovely box.
12:48All right, then.
12:50Thank you, Hermes.
12:52Oh, um, could I have the card as well?
12:59Robin, thank you.
13:00Cheers.
13:06Oh, come on, Chrissie.
13:07What's it matter who sent them to you?
13:09I mean, you never know.
13:10It might have been me.
13:12Well, all right, it wasn't, but it might have been somebody as nice as me.
13:14I doubt it.
13:15Frankly, so do I.
13:18Seriously, though, Robin, do you really think that it could be someone as good-looking
13:22as, well, you?
13:25Well, it's possible.
13:27Somebody with the same sort of personality as you.
13:30Well, you never know your luck.
13:32That's all I need, a big-headed twit sending me flowers and chocolates.
13:36Now, come on, Chrissie.
13:37Now, listen, let's put a male mind on this, right?
13:39Let's forget intuition and guessing and apply reason and deduction.
13:43Now, I've been giving this some considerable thought,
13:46and there is only one logical conclusion.
13:48What?
13:48It could have been anybody.
13:50And that's the male mind?
13:51No, what I mean is he signed himself an admirer,
13:54so the chances are he doesn't know you.
13:55Oh, thanks very much.
13:56Oh, what I mean is he's a stranger.
13:59So it could be anybody.
14:00Well, it could be anybody in this very pub.
14:09Oh, drink up and let's go.
14:14Oh.
14:15Oh, I'm torn.
14:17I mean, the caramel creams are lovely,
14:19but so is the hazelnut crunch.
14:22What do you think, George?
14:23Yeah, I'll find out, you know.
14:25I'll find out who's been sending new cows and chocolates.
14:27You don't have to tell me. I'll find out.
14:29You could try asking me.
14:30Who is he?
14:31I'm not telling you.
14:33Have a new go.
14:34Yeah, you're enjoying this, aren't you?
14:36George, what nonsense. Of course I'm...
14:38Yes, you are. You're enjoying this.
14:40Well, let me tell you something, madam.
14:41You'll be sorry.
14:42Just because I've got iron self-control
14:44doesn't mean I can't lose my temper.
14:46And when I do lose my temper, there'll be blood on the moon.
14:50George, we're communicating.
14:51Eh?
14:52You were talking to me.
14:54No, I'm not. I'm telling you off.
14:56I'm going for a drink.
14:58Mm.
14:59What?
14:59Mm.
15:01Turkish delight.
15:03Oh, lovely.
15:06Yeah? Who are you?
15:08I'm Bernard.
15:09Do you mind if I come in?
15:09Hey, hey, just a minute.
15:11Just a minute.
15:12Who are they for?
15:13Who are they for?
15:14I don't see what's any of your business.
15:15They're for your fancy bit, aren't they?
15:17You sent the son before, didn't you?
15:18Oh, yes, I did, as a matter of fact.
15:19Now, would you mind standing out of the way?
15:21You've got a nerve.
15:21You're not coming in here.
15:23Hey, where are you going?
15:24Well, I'm just going upstate.
15:26Oh, hello, Chrissie.
15:28Hello, Bernard.
15:29Uh, I'll go on up.
15:30No, you stay here.
15:31I've, er, got some flowers and chocolates.
15:34And a wife and twins.
15:35Goodbye, Bernard.
15:36Oh, Chrissie, I thought you didn't follow me for...
15:38Just a minute, I wanted a word with him.
15:41He's the one who's been sending Mildred flowers and chocolates.
15:43Well, he has.
15:44Bernard?
15:45Well, someone has, from an admirer.
15:47No, someone's been sending them to me.
15:49Well, you as well.
15:50No, only me.
15:51Yeah, and she didn't want them.
15:52So I gave them to Mrs. Roper.
15:54Yeah.
15:55Yeah, but she's...
15:58Oh, that was a quick drink.
16:05Er, no, I didn't go.
16:06Er, I thought I'd better stay here
16:09in case your secret admirer decides to send you something else.
16:13What?
16:14Well, you know, a diamond necklace or a yacht, maybe.
16:18Well, now you never know.
16:21Have a chocolate, George.
16:23Yeah, why not?
16:24Yeah?
16:25Yeah, I don't mind if I do.
16:26Very nice, I'm sure.
16:29What's got into you?
16:30I've, er, I've been communicating with her upstairs.
16:34I see.
16:36You haven't got an admirer, have you?
16:38I never said I had.
16:40You jumped to that conclusion.
16:42That's all fairy tale stuff, that, isn't it?
16:44That's in your mind.
16:45That's what kids do, isn't it?
16:46You make up imaginary friends.
16:49I should have known.
16:51Why should anyone in their right mind send you...
16:54Mildred?
16:55Go away.
16:57Now, don't start the waterworks.
16:59I mean, you did lead me on a bit, didn't you?
17:01Well, I mean, can you blame me?
17:04I mean, when have you ever given me anything?
17:07Paid me any little tensions?
17:09I mean, a woman likes to be reminded occasionally that she is a woman.
17:14Well, yeah.
17:17Well, you're a woman, Mildred.
17:18No.
17:19No.
17:20Me?
17:21Well, I'm a man.
17:22Well, let's not take any votes on that, George.
17:24There's no need to take that attitude.
17:26After all, I have given you the best years of my life.
17:28The best?
17:29If those are the best, what are the rest going to be like?
17:32I think I'll go for that dream, Mildred.
17:34You!
17:35Oh!
17:37Well, I feel a bit sorry for Bernard,
17:39because maybe his wife really doesn't understand him.
17:41Look, they've got twins.
17:42She must have understood something.
17:44I tell you what, Jay, you've done a very good job here, you know.
17:46You've moved the dust around very nicely.
17:48I mean, there wasn't any on there before, was there?
17:49Look at that.
17:50Oh, no one would have noticed if you hadn't made a clean mark.
17:53Anyway, dust is nature's way of telling you to move about occasionally.
17:58I tell you what, one day you'll make somebody a wonderful slut.
18:01Hello.
18:02Hello.
18:04Can I speak to Chrissie Plummer, please?
18:06Oh, it's for you.
18:08Who is it?
18:11Who are you?
18:12Well, my name is Alan, but she doesn't actually know me.
18:15I was just phoning to see if she got the flowers and chocolates all right.
18:19It's him.
18:20The bells.
18:23I'll hand you over.
18:25No, I won't.
18:27Er, will you, just hang on a sec, please.
18:30He says his name's Alan, and you don't know him.
18:33I don't know anyone called Alan.
18:35And his story's true.
18:36Just a sec.
18:37Ask him what he's playing at.
18:40Er, Alan, er, what are you sort of, um, you know, playing at?
18:47Nothing, honestly, I've just seen her once or twice in The White Swan and around, and, er, I thought, well,
18:55flowers, and that would be a good way of breaking the ice, getting to know her.
18:59He's seen you in the pub and he fancies you.
19:02Oh, why didn't you say hello?
19:06Then why didn't you say hello, Alan?
19:09Er, I, I, I didn't like to.
19:11She's, she's often with friends, and there's a rather scruffy type in a striped jersey.
19:15Er, now, I don't know your boyfriend.
19:20I'm not her boyfriend, I just have a room here.
19:22Listen, ask him what he looks like.
19:25What, you?
19:27I'll tell you what, Alan, I'll tell you what, why don't you come round here, say, in about half an
19:31hour, you know, give her a chance to get her teeth in, get her curlers out, all right?
19:34Oh, yes, fine, thank you.
19:35See you then, all right, all right.
19:37What did you do that for?
19:46Oh, run out of beer, have they?
19:49No, I didn't go.
19:51I went for a walk instead and did a bit of thinking.
19:55Thinking? You?
19:57Well, you know, about what you said, not paying you any attention, that sort of thing.
20:01Well, there's a grain of truth in that, Mildred, and, well, I've got you those.
20:08Oh, George!
20:11Now, don't get emotional. They're only flowers, that's all.
20:14Oh, and after all the things I said to you...
20:17Well, steady on. I can't win. It's waterworks either way, innit?
20:20Oh, look, you've even put a little card in with them.
20:24Eh?
20:25To Granny, rest in...
20:28Oh, kick that for the cemetery!
20:30Turn on, dear!
20:31Turn on, dear!
20:31Turn on, dear!
20:32Push, push, push!
20:33You've been falling out!
20:34Got it!
20:37I don't know why you're bothering to dolly yourself up if you're going to hide in the kitchen.
20:41Well, I might come out when I've seen what he looks like.
20:43Well, supposing he's ugly?
20:45Then I've emigrated.
20:46What, in the last half an hour?
20:47Look, you invited him. You can get rid of him.
20:52Hey, to New Zealand.
20:57Ah, hello. Alan?
20:59Yes.
20:59Ah, come in.
21:02I'm the, er, scruffy type in the striped jurgies.
21:06Sorry.
21:06OK.
21:07Sit yourself down.
21:13Listen, listen.
21:14Just relax, you know.
21:15Make yourself at home.
21:16Because Chris is spying on you from the kitchen.
21:18What?
21:19Don't look, Mark.
21:22So, Alan, tell me a little bit about yourself.
21:25Well, I've been in London a couple of...
21:27Not so loud, not so loud.
21:29Sorry, weeks.
21:31Um, um, I have a flat in the next road.
21:34You may have noticed my Lotus Alain parked outside.
21:37The Redmond.
21:39And, er, like I said, I don't know many people round here.
21:43And, er, when I saw Chrissie, er, you share with her?
21:48Only the bills.
21:50Oh, good.
21:51I mean, it's only her name on the bell push.
21:53That's where I got it from.
21:54I saw her coming in one day.
21:56She really is one of the most attractive girls I've ever met.
21:59Oh, I like him.
22:01And, like I said, to, to, to break up the ice, I...
22:04I think you've, er, already done that.
22:08Hello.
22:09Hello.
22:11Hello, Chrissie.
22:14I hope you don't mind me saying the flowers and the chocolates.
22:18Huh!
22:37I think you won't mind me saying they let the doctors and thebart.
22:41Oh, God, I hope you don't mind me.
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