- 1 day ago
Hyacinth decides to have a second attempt at finding a weekend home in the country and Elizabeth is called in to help her on her property search. Her final choice is 'interesting' to say the least and worries Richard enormously.
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:38Is this the Bucket residence?
00:41Well, there are two schools of thought about that.
00:44She pronounces it bouquet.
00:48Then would it spell bucket?
01:00Mrs Bucket.
01:17It's very upsetting to have uniformed policemen calling at the house.
01:20It's not entirely a pleasure for me, madam.
01:25Couldn't you have come in plain clothes?
01:27I'm in the uniform branch, madam.
01:30They might have sent someone of senior rank in a smart suit.
01:33Now, when you leave this property, my husband here will lend you a blanket.
01:39I'm sorry, madam.
01:40I can't do that.
01:42Now, about your father.
01:43Oh, what's he been doing?
01:44If Daddy's been doing anything, it'll be in the nation's best interests.
01:49He was found early this morning, sir, claiming to be on sentry duty outside the town hall.
01:55That's Daddy.
01:56Such a sense of duty.
01:58He wouldn't let the Mayor's secretary into the building.
02:02Now, madam, what do you want us to do with him?
02:04Do with him?
02:05You mustn't do anything with him.
02:07Daddy was a war hero.
02:08Yeah, thinks he still is, apparently.
02:11Where is he now?
02:12He's at the police station, madam.
02:15How insensitive!
02:19My Daddy in prison!
02:21Oh, Richard, this mustn't leak out.
02:24Will it be in the papers?
02:26I don't think I'll make the headlines, madam.
02:33There's a policeman gone into Hyacinth.
02:36About time.
02:38I expect they've caught up with her at long last for singing under false pretenses.
02:44You've got to give her points for nerve.
02:46She made him leave his boots outside.
02:48Of course.
02:49She'd do exactly the same thing if it was the Prime Minister.
02:54I wonder what he wants.
02:56If he's talking to Hyacinth, he wants all the help he can get.
03:05Look, madam, if you'll just pick up your father, it'll all be over and done with.
03:09Mr Bouquet will have to fetch him.
03:11Me?
03:12I can't go, dear.
03:14I have an appointment with an estate agent.
03:17Yeah.
03:17Now, Daddy will understand.
03:18Give him my love.
03:20And make sure he doesn't play his bugle in confined spaces.
03:25Now, when you leave this bungalow, I want you to be wearing a broad smile.
03:32I cannot have the neighbours assuming I'm in trouble with the police.
03:36I'll do my best, madam.
03:37Well, let's see it, then.
03:46Oh, show him your smile, dear.
03:49I understand.
03:50Don't be...
03:50Smile!
03:54Oh, I'll settle for yours.
04:10Smile.
04:11Smile.
04:21It was a rare experience.
04:24It was like that.
04:26Fairly consistently.
04:28Her father's a bit... as well.
04:40Just an old friend, Elizabeth.
04:43Or rather, the son of an old friend.
04:45He's just joined the police force.
04:48She promised he'd pop in for us to see him in his uniform.
04:51Very smart, isn't he?
04:53Bye!
05:01Get up, Onslow.
05:03Father's not in his bed.
05:07He could have been gone for hours.
05:10That's it, then.
05:11The trail's gone cold.
05:14No good trying to find him now.
05:16Oh, well, pity.
05:18But life must go on.
05:20Oh, come on, Onslow.
05:21I'd help you to find your father.
05:24Well, that's easy.
05:24We know where he is.
05:25He's been dead for 12 years.
05:28His steel helmet's gone.
05:31Oh, heck.
05:33He's not back in the war.
05:35Has his bugle gone?
05:40It has!
05:41His bugle's gone!
05:45His bugle's gone.
05:48He's got his steel helmet.
05:50He's got his bugle.
05:52Has he got his trousers on?
05:56Oh!
05:59Yes, he must try.
06:02Yes, he's got his trousers on.
06:05Good.
06:06Good.
06:06I can't stand watching him blowing that bugle without his trousers on.
06:11Red in the face is one thing, but red in the...
06:13Just get up, Onslow!
06:26Hyacinth, why don't we postpone looking at properties until tomorrow?
06:32Richard!
06:34Richard!
06:34You know how much I'm looking forward to finding our second home in the country.
06:38Yes, I do know.
06:42It's just that I don't like you looking at properties on your own.
06:46But you can't possibly go, dear.
06:48You have to collect Daddy at the police station.
06:52But we could get Onslow to pick him up.
06:54No, I will not have Onslow picking Daddy up in broad daylight.
06:59One look at Onslow and they'll keep them both in for questioning.
07:04You'll have to go, dear.
07:06Well, I won't...
07:08No!
07:10You'll buy something enormous.
07:12I know you will.
07:17Who's going to drive you?
07:18Oh, Elizabeth will drive me.
07:20Ah!
07:21Well, maybe you should be too busy.
07:22Now, leave, leave it, leave it.
07:29Well, I suppose I can, Hyacinth.
07:34Yes, of course.
07:36Right, then.
07:38Fifteen minutes?
07:41Why didn't you say no?
07:43You've got to learn to show more resistance to that woman, Liz.
07:46She jerks your string and off you go.
07:49I am not invited for coffee.
07:51She wants me to drive her into the country.
07:54She's looking at properties.
07:56She's still looking!
07:59Oh!
08:00Thank heavens you didn't say no.
08:03I thought you wanted me to say no.
08:05Not when it's in such a good cause.
08:07Now, listen to me, Liz.
08:08Pay attention.
08:10This is your opportunity.
08:12For what?
08:13To make sure Hyacinth buys a property.
08:16Don't let her come back here without a property.
08:19She's not looking for something to move into permanently.
08:23I know that, Liz.
08:24But I'd settle for her being away just a couple of days a week.
08:29Find her a property.
08:39Now, Richard, I'm entrusting you with a very special mission.
08:45I want you to collect Daddy with the utmost secrecy.
08:48Nobody must ever know that Daddy was in prison.
08:51He's not in prison.
08:53He's at a police station.
08:54Now, I want you to wear these.
08:56A pair for Daddy.
08:58And a pair for you.
09:04Why?
09:05Because no-one must recognise you as you leave the police station.
09:09But, uh...
09:10This is a very special mission, Richard.
09:13Shh!
09:18I wish I was going with you.
09:21We're looking for a little country cottage.
09:23You'll buy something huge.
09:24I know you will.
09:25You'll buy something we can't afford.
09:28What have I ever presented you with that we can't afford?
09:31Well, Sheridan, for a start.
09:39Now, what are you doing?
09:41Making sure the coast is clear.
09:43For what?
09:45If anyone sees you, tell them you're on business.
09:48But why would anyone even be interested?
09:50Richard!
09:51With a second home in the offing, we're bound to be the centre of attention.
10:05Off you go, then, dear.
10:07And do be careful with Daddy.
10:09He's not accustomed to being picked up at police stations.
10:14Do be kind to Daddy.
10:17Remember his track record in Budgerigar showing circles.
10:24Oh, Richard.
10:27Haven't you forgotten something, dear?
10:34And remember, if anyone asks, you're on business.
10:39Don't buy anything big.
10:41Think small and pokey.
10:43I like small and pokey.
10:47Psst!
10:49Psst!
10:59What's wrong now?
11:00You don't look like someone on business.
11:03You look like someone who's gone to fetch your daddy from a police station.
11:09Try to be more convincingly executive, Richard.
11:14Psst!
11:15Psst!
11:16Psst!
11:16Psst!
11:18Psst!
11:19Psst!
11:19Psst!
11:26What sort of property are you interested in, housing?
11:29Oh, just some quiet little nook in the country.
11:32Isn't Richard interested?
11:33Oh, yes, he's very interested.
11:35He would have driven me, but he's gone into town on business.
11:39Sudden business?
11:40Yes, quite sudden.
11:42Executive business.
11:44Absolutely innocent, of course.
11:46Turn left here, dear.
11:48Yes, I always turn left here.
11:57And mind that pedestrian.
11:59Is there a pedestrian?
12:01Good heavens, Elizabeth, can't you see, dear?
12:03Well, there's no one in the road.
12:04Not in the road.
12:06On the pavement.
12:09I usually miss the ones on the pavement.
12:12I usually miss the ones on the pavement.
12:26Richard?
12:31Richard?
12:32I thought it was you.
12:33It is you, isn't it?
12:37Oh, Emmett.
12:39Shouldn't you be out buying property?
12:40I should, really.
12:41Hysense gets carried away.
12:43So why didn't you go?
12:44I have a little business, sir, in town.
12:47I'll walk with you.
12:49Good girl.
12:50Is it far?
12:51Farther than I thought.
12:57Left here, dear.
12:59No, as you were, turn right.
13:15Richard?
13:17Fine, Richard.
13:18Fine, thank you, Ed.
13:20Fine.
13:20Thought it was you from behind.
13:22I recognise the walk.
13:24I must say, I would never have recognised you from the front.
13:28Oh, these.
13:30I'm just breaking them in,
13:32in case we go on holiday somewhere hot and sunny.
13:35Are you going on holiday somewhere hot and sunny?
13:38No.
13:39But you never know.
13:43How's Hyacinth?
13:45All right, I think.
13:46I hope.
13:48How are you coping with retirement, Richard?
13:51We often talk about you at the club.
13:54Glad to see that you sometimes get out on your own.
13:56It's funny you should say that.
13:58Sometimes it's very difficult to be on your own, don't you find?
14:03Nice to have a break from the little woman, I expect.
14:05I'd rather be with her this morning.
14:11You'd rather be with her?
14:12She worries me when she's out on her own.
14:15She gets carried away.
14:21Stop!
14:25That was it.
14:26We've passed it, that's it.
14:29Yes, it looks enormous.
14:32You sure?
14:32Oh, yes.
14:34I have a nose for these things.
14:37Look, it says, Marston Hall.
14:41Does this thing go backwards?
14:45Yes, of course.
14:46Well, I'll get out and see you in.
14:48No, no, no, Hyacinth.
14:49I can manage.
14:50Oh, dear, I'll guide you.
15:04Far too fast.
15:06Does your wife approve of you driving at that speed?
15:17What were you doing, woman?
15:21I don't think I care for your tone.
15:40Look, Elizabeth, look.
15:42Oh, Hyacinth is beautiful.
15:46Yes.
15:48I could live there.
15:51You must come and visit us, Elizabeth.
15:54Take tea on the terrace.
15:57Oh, yes, I shall like it here.
16:01One spirit will expand.
16:06Drive on, Elizabeth.
16:10Let's go and find the main entrance.
16:13It's bound to have more than one.
16:17There's a good daddy.
16:19Don't forget this, sir.
16:20It's not loaded.
16:25And this.
16:29Dog!
16:31Don't you even think about it.
16:34Goodbye.
16:35Goodbye, sir.
16:37Police station.
16:39Sergeant Watkins.
16:46It's for you, sir.
16:51For me.
16:55Hello.
16:57Oh, Hyacinth, you shouldn't be ringing me here.
17:01Well, you've found it.
17:03Well, what have you found?
17:05Oh, the house.
17:06Oh, now, listen, Hyacinth.
17:08Don't sign anything until I get there.
17:16Yes, I've got your father.
17:18He's here.
17:19Oh, I'm sorry, Daddy.
17:20No.
17:21Apparently, I shouldn't have told you he's here.
17:23He's afraid I've given his position away to the enemy.
17:28Yes, I'll take Daddy home,
17:30and I'll meet you at this place you've found.
17:32What's the address?
17:33Just a minute, Hyacinth.
17:35Oh, thank you.
17:39Hello.
17:41Thank you very much.
17:43Yes, Hyacinth.
17:44Here.
17:44Uh, Marston Hall.
17:47Hmm.
17:48Yes.
17:49Well, Hyacinth, this sounds like a very expensive address.
17:54Hmm.
17:57I like it.
17:58It's very grand.
18:00It's very me.
18:03The perfect setting for my candlelight suppers
18:06with full silver service and hand-thrown-after-dinner mints.
18:12It's a place I'd hate to spill coffee in.
18:16No, I think the best view was as we came down the drive.
18:22Take me there, Elizabeth.
18:25I'd like to see it from that angle again.
18:40I shall get Sheridan to paint a picture.
18:42He's very talented with a small horse-hair brush.
18:46I think just a little further, Elizabeth, about...
18:51Here.
18:52Yes.
18:53Stop.
19:03Oh, yes.
19:05I shall come here frequently.
19:07To look.
19:09It is beautiful.
19:11And if we walk across this parkland here,
19:14I expect it looks even more spectacular.
19:17Come along, Elizabeth.
19:20Oh, but what about the car?
19:22Oh, never mind the car.
19:25If I'm going to buy the place,
19:27I'm surely entitled to leave the car where I like.
19:39Nearly off-duty, Daddy.
19:45OK.
20:15Right here.
20:17Right here.
20:19Right here.
20:20Right here.
20:40That was pretty effective.
20:46Oh, I can't wait to get inside and have a look round.
20:50The agent said she'd be here at 11.30.
20:53Perhaps you won't like the inside.
20:55I shall love it.
20:59Oh, I shall be very happy here.
21:02You've made your decision, then?
21:04Oh, I think so, Elizabeth.
21:05It's very suitable for entertaining, you see.
21:09I shall be a beacon for the best in hospitality for miles around.
21:20Perhaps this is the agent now.
21:22Come on.
21:25Mrs Bucket.
21:28It's Bucket.
21:30Oh.
21:32I'm sorry I'm late.
21:34Some fools left a car blocking the bridge.
21:37Are you authorised to gain entrance?
21:40Yes.
21:41Everything's in here.
21:42Good.
21:43After you, then.
21:45I'll just go and move the car.
21:46It might be best, dear.
21:48It was a silly place to leave it.
21:53Sorry to rush off.
21:55I've got to meet Hyacinth in the country.
21:59Bye.
22:01His car won't start.
22:08And this is known as the lake room.
22:11Oh.
22:12Oh.
22:13What a lovely view.
22:16Is that a river out there?
22:18It's a lake.
22:20Really?
22:22The man in the wheelchair is Sir Edward.
22:25You'll be neighbours.
22:27Sir Edward.
22:29Neighbours.
22:31Sir Edward were to be neighbours.
22:33I'm Hyacinth Bucket.
22:35Mind the foot.
22:36Mind the foot.
22:38Sir Edward has very painful gout.
22:42One of the favourite ailments of the upper classes.
22:46Mind the foot.
22:48You must be one of the first of my evening soiree, Sir Edward.
22:56What kind of place is this that our Hyacinth's buying?
22:59I've no idea, but I hope it's small.
23:02I wouldn't bet on it.
23:03Our Hyacinth's not very big on small.
23:08Don't just sit there grinning like that, Father.
23:12Tell Richard what you did to his car so it wouldn't start.
23:17He took out the rotor arm.
23:18He always takes out the rotor arm.
23:20It's what they used to do to disabled cars in the war.
23:25What have you done with Richard's rotor arm?
23:28He throws them away so nothing falls into the hands of the enemy.
23:35Well, it's very kind of you to give me a lift.
23:37No problem.
23:39Anyway, I'm dying to see what Hyacinth's buying.
23:43You're not the only one.
23:46Oh, and this is Sheridan, Sir Edward.
23:50In costume for his first school play, he played a daffodil.
23:55Everybody agreed he was enormously convincing.
24:01Oh, and here's Sheridan again.
24:06Stop!
24:08That's it!
24:10What?
24:10No, that can't be it!
24:15According to Hyacinth's directions, that must be it.
24:20Well, there's one way to find out.
24:28Maybe there's a small cottage in the grounds.
24:31Oh, that must be it.
24:33Yeah, there'll be a small cottage in the grounds.
24:46Plenty of open space to raise a family in.
24:50She's getting broody again.
24:59I'm awfully sorry about blocking the road earlier.
25:02It wasn't entirely my fault.
25:04I can believe that.
25:07A friend of yours, is she?
25:08She's my neighbour.
25:09You poor thing.
25:14Weal me, I can many!
25:16Not so, Sir Edward.
25:18What are neighbours for?
25:19I want you to meet my husband.
25:21He'll be along momentarily.
25:28I want you to meet my husband.
25:30What are you doing, woman?
25:52Hello, Richard.
25:55Tell me, she hasn't signed anything.
25:58She has, actually.
26:04For this?
26:06It's only a flat, Richard.
26:08The place is subdivided into apartments.
26:12She hasn't bought the whole house.
26:15And she's only bought one flat.
26:19Richard!
26:22Excuse me.
26:29Richard, I expected you to come on your own.
26:32Your father stole my rotor arm.
26:35Yeah, I'm sure Daddy wouldn't steal your rotor arm.
26:39He probably had instructions to commandeer it for military purposes.
26:44The building dates from 1577.
26:47And it is said that Queen Elizabeth I...
26:50Richard, you love our flat.
26:52It's quite bijou, but we have some splendid neighbours.
26:56Two, four!
27:00Richard!
27:01Richard, do something!
27:02Daddy's about to prejudice our lease!
27:05Come along!
27:08Daddy!
27:09Oh!
27:09Daddy!
27:10Oh, go away!
27:11You must be mad!
27:13He doesn't mean any harm!
27:16I like the country.
27:18There's never a dull moment.
27:22Oh!
28:17Hello, welcome to England
28:33It's much more than fish and chips
28:34We've got chicks for the tits and the big filled lips
28:36Ballyed up kids and the RS6
28:38Big two fillies, more fillies with a kick
28:40Life with more grips, little creep in your crib
28:41I smell bacon, I smell pigs
28:43Take the cash down, get into the whip
28:45Leeds road racing, I'm feeling like Hamilton
28:47Weegros amazing, Cropsy, I'm grabbing them
28:48Don't give a fuck in the truck and I'm ramming them
28:50Fuck the West Yorkshire police, yeah, they're standing up