- 2 days ago
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00:00:07Derek! Your breakfast has been on the table for the last 15 minutes!
00:00:12Isn't that nice?
00:00:13Yes, thank you.
00:00:15I was talking to Damien.
00:00:20Next time you do the shopping, buy the ketchup in a glass bottle.
00:00:24And another thing, Albert, will you please stop boiling your old vests and pants out on our cooker?
00:00:30It's almost the 21st century, and we have washing machines for that sort of thing.
00:00:33Look, Raquel, why are you angry at me? I'm not the one who's been coming home late every night.
00:00:37I'm always here in the flat.
00:00:38Yes, aren't you just?
00:00:43Good morning, lad.
00:00:44Morning.
00:00:45Oh, it's bloody too.
00:00:48Hello, champ.
00:00:49Hey, good morning. How are you this morning?
00:00:51This looks really good, doesn't it?
00:00:53You're in trouble, son. Raquel's on the wall pole.
00:00:56Oh, she don't frighten me, Albert.
00:00:57But I've handled much more violent women than her.
00:01:02Good morning, sweetheart.
00:01:03Any calls for me last night, was there?
00:01:05I haven't a clue. I went to bed early.
00:01:07Why don't you get yourself an answering machine, Derek?
00:01:09Answering machine. Good idea, darling, yes?
00:01:11Just what the business needs is an answer phone.
00:01:14Especially since you're too exhausted to do it these days.
00:01:16I tell you what, Damien's getting a bit big for that high chair.
00:01:19Look out if he'll be starting work soon.
00:01:21There's nothing wrong with a high chair.
00:01:22Exactly.
00:01:24No, that isn't very good, Nick.
00:01:25I might get a few quid for that.
00:01:27I think I've put an ad in the local newsagents.
00:01:30What time did you get in last night?
00:01:31Really?
00:01:32Oh, about quarter past twelve.
00:01:35It was twenty to two.
00:01:37Was it?
00:01:38Oh, I mean, the battery's going in this watch.
00:01:42So, where were you?
00:01:44Um, I went down to the Nags Head, had a swift half,
00:01:47and then I had to go and meet someone in the, um, casino.
00:01:52Oh, that's a relief.
00:01:53For a minute there, I was worried you might be squandering our money.
00:01:56How much you win, son?
00:01:57Shut up!
00:01:58Don't be silly, Al, but Del doesn't know what winning is.
00:02:01Eat your breakfast, Del.
00:02:03I thought you said all this fried stuff was bad for me veins.
00:02:06Eat your breakfast, Del.
00:02:10She's not happy, son.
00:02:13Well, she's a woman, isn't she?
00:02:14Anyway, take my mind off me tooth.
00:02:17I don't know.
00:02:18What were you and poor, Rodney?
00:02:20He's starting to look ashen-faced, hasn't he?
00:02:22Hmm.
00:02:23He does look a bit cream cracker, to play.
00:02:25Don't worry.
00:02:26I'll have a whirl with him.
00:02:27I usually manage to sort out his problems.
00:02:39Hello?
00:02:40Cassandra, it's Raquel.
00:02:42Can you talk?
00:02:43Rodney's not there, is he?
00:02:44No, he's left for work.
00:02:45I just phoned to see what the doctor said last night.
00:02:47Oh, she was ever so nice.
00:02:49Basically, she said not to worry.
00:02:50She's got three couples on her books who've been trying for babies for over a year.
00:02:53So Rodney and I are almost rookies.
00:02:56I've got to take my temperature hourly, keep her chart, my usual stuff.
00:02:59Oh, and she's given me some exercises that are supposed to strengthen the muscles.
00:03:03Have you abandoned that, um, scheduled thing she worked out for you?
00:03:06I don't know how either of you keep up the pace.
00:03:08It sounded excessive for Mel Gibson and his wife, let alone you and Rodney.
00:03:11Now, I've decided to continue with that.
00:03:13I know it hasn't worked, but Rodney's enjoyed himself trying.
00:03:18All right, Rodney?
00:03:20Yeah, all right, mate.
00:03:21What's you been up to?
00:03:22You look like some vampire's been having a go at you.
00:03:25Yeah, I don't know very much.
00:03:27You weren't involved in that riot on your stake the other night, were you?
00:03:30No, I was not.
00:03:31As if I'd get involved in a riot.
00:03:33You don't look well.
00:03:35You look shagged out, don't you, lad?
00:03:39There's nothing wrong with me, all right?
00:03:43Raquel, you haven't mentioned this baby business to Del, have you?
00:03:45Of course not.
00:03:47Rodney thinks we ought to choose the right time to tell him.
00:03:49I will leave it to you.
00:03:51How are things with you and Del?
00:03:53Well, much the same.
00:03:54He didn't get in until 20 to 2 this morning.
00:03:56Why don't you ask Rodney to find out what's happening?
00:03:59Because I'm a bit frightened of what the answer might be.
00:04:01I think the first flush of fatherhood and domesticity has cooled,
00:04:04and he's gone back to his old ways.
00:04:05He's done a pub and casino with his stupid mates.
00:04:08We'll have to go.
00:04:08Someone's coming.
00:04:09Talk to you soon.
00:04:10Bye.
00:04:12He's dropped a load of beans on the carpet.
00:04:14Well, why don't you wipe them off?
00:04:16Me?
00:04:16No, let the old git wipe them up himself.
00:04:19Oh, I know that's a good one.
00:04:22Yeah, have you spoken to Cassandra recently?
00:04:25No.
00:04:25Well, when you do, you find out if there's anything wrong between her and Rodney's.
00:04:29Don't go interfering in their lives, Del.
00:04:31He's my young brother.
00:04:33I've got a right to interfere.
00:04:34If they've got a problem, I just want to help out.
00:04:36Oh, God, that is the best yet.
00:04:39Come on, time for your wash.
00:04:43You, Albert.
00:04:46If you're doing this to annoy me, it's not working.
00:04:52Makes you wonder whether it's all worthwhile, doesn't it, honk, eh?
00:04:55Yeah, if you say so, son.
00:04:56I do say so.
00:04:59Lucky old sod.
00:05:02I picked this up at a library, Esty.
00:05:05Relate.
00:05:06It's the new word for marriage guidance.
00:05:08I didn't know if it'd be any good to you.
00:05:10Oh, thanks very much, honk.
00:05:11Actually, it's just the sort of thing I'm looking for, this.
00:05:19I'm just going to go and make a private phone call.
00:05:30I'm just going to go and make a private phone call.
00:05:48Hello?
00:05:49Oh, hello, Cassandra.
00:05:51Still boy, how are you, sweetheart?
00:05:53I'm fine, thanks.
00:05:54Oh, Custy.
00:05:55Um, look, Cassandra, I don't want to interfere or anything like that, but I'm a little bit worried about young
00:06:00Rodders.
00:06:02He's, well, he seems to be a bit worried, you know, he's not his old self, and I just wondered
00:06:05if there was anything I could do to help.
00:06:06Well, look, if you must know, Del, Rodney and I are trying for a baby.
00:06:18Yeah, all right, I'll get off the phone then.
00:06:22No, not right now.
00:06:25Rodney's not even here.
00:06:27He left half an hour ago.
00:06:30Mum, you left half an hour ago and you're still panting?
00:06:34I'm in the middle of my exercises.
00:06:37Oh, your exercise?
00:06:38Oh, I see what you mean.
00:06:39I thought that you...
00:06:40Well, never mind what I thought.
00:06:42But, um, look, I can't help you unless you let me know what is happening.
00:06:47Oh, God.
00:06:50All right?
00:06:50Yeah.
00:06:52Where is everyone?
00:06:53Oh, Raquel's seeing the little and indulging the kitchen making a private phone call.
00:06:57Who, too?
00:06:58I think it's the married guidance people.
00:07:00Him and Raquel aren't married.
00:07:01I know, but they're right, I don't know.
00:07:03I'll make you a new pot of tea, sir.
00:07:05Oh, yes, yes.
00:07:06No, you see, the thing is, you know, that a man...
00:07:09Well, a man, you know, any man, can, in fact, you know, lose his drive.
00:07:16Rodney hasn't lost his drive.
00:07:18No, no, no, no, no.
00:07:19I'm not saying that is happening, no.
00:07:21What I'm saying is that a man, you know, a man, any man, can, well, you know, lose his... his
00:07:28oomph.
00:07:29Yeah.
00:07:31Naturally, you see, the woman, she becomes frustrated and disappointed.
00:07:33But that's not necessarily the man's fault, is it, eh?
00:07:39Oh, er, morning, my girl.
00:07:41Oh, morning.
00:07:42Where's Del?
00:07:43Er, he's on the phone.
00:07:44Who, too?
00:07:45I don't know.
00:07:47So, how's life treating you?
00:07:48How's life treating me?
00:07:50Do you mean besides him coming in at all hours in the morning, spending every spare hour with his mates
00:07:54down the pub and wasting our money in that casino?
00:07:56Yeah.
00:07:58Well, I'll give you an example of how life's treating me, Rodney.
00:08:01Have you seen what's inside my wardrobe?
00:08:03No.
00:08:04Well, not to put too fine a point on it, the only times my clothes look fashionable is when I'm
00:08:08watching UK Gold.
00:08:10Now, a short while ago, Del happened to mention that he had a contact in the rag trade.
00:08:15This fella could get the very latest in fashion and all the top designer labels.
00:08:19Christmas was approaching, Del asked me what I'd like.
00:08:22Anything you want, sweetheart, just name it.
00:08:25So I said I wouldn't mind a little number by Bruce Oldfield.
00:08:33You've got me tubular bells.
00:08:36That's Mark Oldfield.
00:08:37I know.
00:08:39Yeah, now, listen, all you've got to do, sweetheart, is you just take your time, right?
00:08:43You just take your time and you'll have a lovely, healthy baby, just like my Damien.
00:08:47There.
00:08:48Nine pounds, he was, you know.
00:08:50Yeah.
00:08:51Oh, I remember the day that he was born.
00:08:54Yeah, of course, me and Raquel, you know, haven't given up hope of doing it again sometime.
00:08:59What's the baby's weight got to do with it?
00:09:01No, no, no, no.
00:09:02It doesn't matter how big it is, does it?
00:09:06Who are you talking to?
00:09:08Cassandra.
00:09:14Good morning, brothers.
00:09:16Cassandra, what are you doing discussing our private life with him?
00:09:19I don't care.
00:09:20This will be all over the nag's head by dinner time.
00:09:23That's the thanks I get.
00:09:25I thought you'd be used to it by now.
00:09:35They've cleared this place up yet, have they?
00:09:38That's not a lot of point.
00:09:39I've heard they're expecting another riot.
00:09:41They reckon anything could set it up.
00:09:43I've heard they're thinking of twinning this place with Jurassic Park.
00:09:49Oh, you want to go somewhere with that, too?
00:09:52I'd go everywhere with it, don't I?
00:09:53It's stuck in my fucking head.
00:09:55I meant the dentists.
00:09:57Yes, yes, yes, I will.
00:10:01Can I switch the radio on?
00:10:03Yeah, go on, if you're right.
00:10:12Do you know this is Raquel's most favourite number?
00:10:15Yeah.
00:10:16I'll switch it off.
00:10:19Oh, no, leave it.
00:10:24Every time I hear this number, you know, it always reminds me of my Raquel.
00:10:29Yeah, go on, switch it off.
00:10:33There you go, Denzel.
00:10:35One bowl of piping hot porridge.
00:10:37That'll warm you up on a cold morning.
00:10:38Cheers, Sid.
00:10:40There's a hair in this.
00:10:43It's a hair.
00:10:45There's another one.
00:10:51That's disgusting, that is, Sid.
00:10:53If the health authorities saw this, they'd close you down.
00:10:56I've been closed down for a lot worse than that, Denzel.
00:10:59I hate these politically correct people.
00:11:01Yeah.
00:11:02What do you have, Intrigue?
00:11:03I'll try some of that porridge.
00:11:12All right, thanks.
00:11:15Two teeth, Sid.
00:11:16All right, Dave.
00:11:20Don't have the porridge, Rodney.
00:11:22I've just found hairs in mine.
00:11:23It was only two hairs.
00:11:25That's enough, isn't it?
00:11:28Maybe there's a sparring in it.
00:11:31So how's it going, Del?
00:11:32You got all your Christmas presents?
00:11:33No, not yet.
00:11:34Damien wants a pet.
00:11:36I didn't think the council allowed pets.
00:11:38No, only a little one, you know, like a rabbit or a guinea pig or something like that.
00:11:42How's it going, Del?
00:11:43Don't ask, Trig.
00:11:44Things still the same, eh?
00:11:46Yeah, still giving me strife.
00:11:47Yeah, it's a bitch, isn't it?
00:11:50Well, that's strong in it, isn't it, Trig?
00:11:52No, you're too soft, Del.
00:11:53I've been in exactly the same boat as you have.
00:11:55You know what I've done?
00:11:56I've got a shot of it.
00:11:58Hey, look, Trig.
00:11:59It's not as simple as just get shot of it.
00:12:01Why?
00:12:02They all love them.
00:12:04Well, a strong bond exists, doesn't it, Del?
00:12:05That's right.
00:12:06We've been together a long time.
00:12:07And you're just going to get more and more aggro.
00:12:10I know how you feel.
00:12:11You become attached to them.
00:12:12Give them little pet names.
00:12:13I've done it.
00:12:14Take my advice, Del.
00:12:15Get down to the dentist and have it out.
00:12:19Oh, too.
00:12:21It's best in the long run, Del.
00:12:23Try my dentist.
00:12:24It's good.
00:12:25I've been going to him for years.
00:12:26Yeah, yeah, all right.
00:12:27I might try that, Trig.
00:12:29Trig, we were talking about Del and Raquel.
00:12:31You still rowing?
00:12:32Well, you're never there to find out, are you?
00:12:34No.
00:12:36She's still talking to me, unfortunately.
00:12:39I'll never understand the workings of a woman's mind.
00:12:42I suppose that's why I gave up trying in the end.
00:12:46Yeah.
00:12:48Who was that bird I used to go out with?
00:12:50Which one?
00:12:52What was her name?
00:12:55What's her name?
00:12:56Redhead.
00:12:57Ah, one of the Redheads.
00:12:59Pauline.
00:12:59No, no, no.
00:13:01A pair of name from Woolworths?
00:13:02No.
00:13:02Janine.
00:13:03Who?
00:13:04Marion.
00:13:05Who's Marion?
00:13:06I don't know.
00:13:07You met her up the dog train.
00:13:09You bought her a ring.
00:13:11Oh, yeah.
00:13:12No, not her.
00:13:13No, no, no.
00:13:14The one I'm thinking about, what was her name?
00:13:15Her dad was a tattooist.
00:13:17She had this tattoo of a heart with a dagger going through it on her five.
00:13:22Don't mean a bell.
00:13:24Well, you would have only been about two.
00:13:26What was her name?
00:13:27She worked at the betting shop down Lewisham Grove.
00:13:30Betting shop down Lewisham Grove.
00:13:33I don't know.
00:13:34It don't matter.
00:13:35I went out with her for about...
00:13:37Must have been a month.
00:13:40Actually, she was going steady with another bloke at the time, but it didn't worry me.
00:13:43Made it more exciting.
00:13:45Well, she was a sporting girl.
00:13:47You know, good all-rounder.
00:13:48You know what I mean?
00:13:50Well, I'd save up my money, right, to take her on holiday.
00:13:54It was going to be really exotic.
00:13:55The holiday of a lifetime.
00:13:57When all of a sudden, right out of the blue, for no reason, she packed me in.
00:14:02And yet, the night before, I had taken her home to meet my mum and dad for the first time.
00:14:13So, the next day, I went down to the betting shop, you know, to have a chat with her, take
00:14:16her out for lunch and all that.
00:14:17And they said that she weren't there.
00:14:20But I knew that she was, because I saw her crash helmet hanging up on the hook.
00:14:25I went and looked for her.
00:14:26You know where I found her?
00:14:27She was hiding on the roof.
00:14:29She said she was sunbathing.
00:14:30Well, maybe she was sunbathing.
00:14:32No, it was a sloping roof.
00:14:35And there she was, with her back against the tiles and her stilettos jammed in the gutter.
00:14:42She nearly fell off twice.
00:14:45Well, anyway, that was dad.
00:14:48God, blimey, what was her name?
00:14:52Did you get your money back on the holiday?
00:14:56You know these paraben sites alike, don't you?
00:15:23Oh, Rodders, what are you doing here?
00:15:24Well, I had a couple of hours to kill, so I said to Cass, I popped down to the club
00:15:27and see though.
00:15:28Oh, all right.
00:15:28Here, Miguel.
00:15:29There you are.
00:15:30A lager top, please.
00:15:33You're drinking a lot of scotch these days?
00:15:35Yeah, well, it's the only thing that dulls the pain, isn't it?
00:15:38Talk to Adele.
00:15:40There's nothing that can't be sorted by talking it out.
00:15:43I'm not talking about Raquel, I'm talking about my bloody tooth.
00:15:47Well, go to the dentist.
00:15:48I don't like dentists.
00:15:49Well, then let it go rotten and get a septicemia.
00:15:51Look, shut up moaning, will you?
00:15:52I've come here to set myself up for the game and you do nothing but lecher me.
00:15:56It's like playing poker with Neil Ginner.
00:15:59Neil.
00:16:00Dill boy?
00:16:02Rodney.
00:16:03Oh, how's it going, boysie?
00:16:05Life is one long uphill struggle at the moment, Derek.
00:16:09The second-hand car business is in its biggest slump since, well, since the last one.
00:16:13Me and Marlene could only afford one week's holiday in Barbados this year.
00:16:17Oh, that's terrible, isn't it?
00:16:19Please, don't go on about it.
00:16:21You know how easy I cry.
00:16:23I'll have to hold a whip for him.
00:16:25Can I count the lashes?
00:16:28Look, I happen to believe that everyone has the right to expect a certain standard of living.
00:16:33I mean, it's all right for you, coming from that council estate.
00:16:36You know, sometimes I almost envy you.
00:16:38Not often, I must admit.
00:16:40It's nothing with all the problems you've got.
00:16:43We ain't got no problems.
00:16:45Raquel and I are just going through a sneaky bash, that's all.
00:16:47When I mention problems, I was referring to that riot the other night.
00:16:51I hear they went through the whole estate looking for any halfway decent car and then setting fire to it.
00:16:56Your three-wheel van, all right, was it, Del Boye?
00:16:59Yes, thank you, Boycey.
00:17:01They didn't lay a finger on it.
00:17:02Well, that's a godsend at least.
00:17:05Only because I know the leader of the rioters.
00:17:08Terrible, though, anyway.
00:17:10The way they set fire to their own people's property when there's a very big car site just up the
00:17:14road.
00:17:15That's Boycey's car site, Derek.
00:17:17Oh, shit, Rodney.
00:17:19Well, let's hope someone does not suggest that to the rioters.
00:17:22Hey, boy.
00:17:24Miguel, can you get my friends a drink?
00:17:26Same again, please.
00:17:27I'll put it on my account.
00:17:28Well, I must be off.
00:17:30Lots of luck, eh?
00:17:31Yeah, cheers, Boycey.
00:17:35Miguel.
00:17:43Oh, blimey.
00:17:44All right.
00:17:47I don't know about my teeth.
00:17:48I think me eyes need testing.
00:17:53I turned around a bit quick just then, and I thought, right said Fred had just walked in.
00:18:06Good night.
00:18:07Good night.
00:18:09Good night.
00:18:21Aren't you going to have a bit?
00:18:22No, I'm not.
00:18:23It's a month's game.
00:18:25And it dawned on you yet that the only one who wins is the casino owner.
00:18:29Sorry, what were you saying?
00:18:31Yeah, all right.
00:18:32I saw you were lucky.
00:18:33Well, you've won now, so let's go home.
00:18:35Hey, no, don't talk.
00:18:36Wait, I'm on a roll.
00:18:37Play the evens.
00:18:39Gil, will you spare one moment's thought for Raquel?
00:18:42Who do you think I'm doing this for, Rodney?
00:18:44I'm doing this for her and Damien.
00:18:46Rodney, I couldn't say anything before because I didn't want the word to get out.
00:18:49It's been very delicate, but I'm trying to put down a big deal with Ronnie Nelson.
00:18:53So what are you doing down here at the one-to-one club most nights?
00:18:56Because he owns it, doesn't he?
00:18:57He don't come in before one o'clock in the morning, so I've got to hang about and have a
00:19:00word with him.
00:19:01I can't let this deal slip through my fingers, Rodney.
00:19:05Tell you what it is.
00:19:07650 handheld camcorders.
00:19:10Made in Russia.
00:19:13Russian camcorders.
00:19:15I don't think they went in for all that you've been frame cobblers.
00:19:18No, no, no.
00:19:19They're ex-military.
00:19:20They've got night vision on them and everything.
00:19:22We are going to buy 650 Russian army camcorders.
00:19:26Yeah, with a bit of luck.
00:19:29895 quid.
00:19:31You're going to pay 895 pounds for a camera?
00:19:34No, no, don't, no.
00:19:35895 quid for the lot.
00:19:38Well, they sound very classy.
00:19:40State with the arse.
00:19:4230 red.
00:19:45Aren't you going to have a bet?
00:19:46Mum.
00:19:48Look, try and look at it from Raquel's point of view, Del.
00:19:51She's in that flat night after night with Horatio and his tails of the sea.
00:19:55And you're down here drinking and gambling.
00:19:57I know.
00:19:58Does she appreciate it?
00:19:59No.
00:19:59No, she does not.
00:20:03Honestly.
00:20:04She thinks I'm out every night enjoying meself.
00:20:07Here, sue me, darling.
00:20:08Same again, please.
00:20:10That's the trouble with women, Rodney.
00:20:12They change.
00:20:13And they expect you to change with them.
00:20:15She wanted me to become a pipe and slippers van.
00:20:17You know, having a cup of tea and a biscuit and watching Family Fortunes.
00:20:21Well, stuff that for a game of toy soldiers.
00:20:23But don't get me wrong.
00:20:24I'm not averse to a cup of tarjeeling and an ob-nob, but there is a time and a place
00:20:28for everything.
00:20:28No.
00:20:31I live life on the tightrope.
00:20:33And I enjoy the company of my mates and I don't see why I should change, just because I've met
00:20:36Raquel.
00:20:37And who are your mates, Del?
00:20:39Boy C, the Freemason.
00:20:40A total snob who thinks that anyone who's got a pound less than him is a peasant.
00:20:45Denzel is a man who eats porridge with a wig in it.
00:20:48And then when you look trigger, a road sweeper who gives pet names to his teeth.
00:20:54They're still me mates.
00:20:57I'm not like you, Rodders.
00:20:59Del Boyer's not for turning.
00:21:01What's that supposed to mean?
00:21:02Marriage ain't changed me.
00:21:04It has, Rodney.
00:21:05I've seen you and that Cassandra.
00:21:07She's into this conservation malarkey.
00:21:09And so is Rodney as well.
00:21:10I have not changed, Del.
00:21:12When I make my mind up about something, nothing can alter it.
00:21:15140 pieces, sir, thank you.
00:21:16We'll stick with evens, shall we?
00:21:19I'm going to go and get some chips.
00:21:32Come on.
00:21:33Raids. Raids. Raids.
00:21:36Excuse me, Del.
00:21:37Oh?
00:21:37I'm afraid Ronnie won't be in now.
00:21:39I'll leave a message for him.
00:21:40No.
00:21:41Well, I think.
00:21:48Come on, Rodney.
00:21:50Let's go home.
00:21:50Blimey on.
00:21:51The ball ain't landing, Jack.
00:21:5417 black.
00:21:56Shit.
00:21:57Oi.
00:21:58What makes you lose?
00:22:0050.
00:22:02You plonker.
00:22:05I wouldn't have gambled at all if you hadn't encouraged me.
00:22:08Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi.
00:22:09Don't blame me.
00:22:10What'd you come in here for anyway if you didn't want to flutter?
00:22:13Oh, I'll tell you what, shall I?
00:22:14Cassandra suggested I come down here.
00:22:16Oh, yeah?
00:22:17Why?
00:22:17So as we can get you on at a decent hour.
00:22:20We are trying to save your relationship with Raquel.
00:22:23You've been falling in up past one, two o'clock in the morning, and it is not on, Bell.
00:22:31Well...
00:22:32It's eight o'clock in the morning.
00:22:35This is all your fault, Dopey.
00:22:37Mate?
00:22:37Yes, you, you, you, you.
00:22:38You kept me talking in there.
00:22:40Oh, yeah.
00:22:40And who was he doing all the gambling?
00:22:41Well, you were doing your fair share.
00:22:43God, blimey, I could have been home hours ago if it weren't for you.
00:22:45You really dropped me in it this time, Rodney.
00:22:49Look, we could have been down the market in half an hour.
00:22:51Right, listen, I know what you're thinking.
00:22:53I know what you're thinking, because I've got to read your minds.
00:22:55You're thinking, what do I want with all this ski equipment?
00:22:57There ain't no mountains in Peckham.
00:22:59Absolutely true.
00:23:00Now, in a few months' time, you yourself may decide to take an alpine holiday.
00:23:05Now, due to my unique style of bulk buying,
00:23:09you can go togged out in the latest up-to-the-minute fashion at bargain basement prices.
00:23:14Now, I'm going to show you how stylish this gear is,
00:23:17because it's being modelled now by my younger brother, Rodney.
00:23:25Now, the jacket is painted in pure fibreglass and quilted in natural nylon.
00:23:32Now, this jacket alone would set you back about 120 quid at Lilywhites,
00:23:36but this can be yours for a mere £35, and it comes in all sizes.
00:23:41Now, all this equipment here is manufactured by the one country that leads the world in alpine clothing,
00:23:47namely Fiji.
00:23:51Just a moment, please.
00:23:52This is probably the Austrian Olympic squad wanting to increase their order.
00:23:57Hello?
00:23:58Trotters Independent Traders, a PLC, Arctic Clothing Department.
00:24:02Right, Dave.
00:24:05Rodney, it's Cassandra.
00:24:10Cass?
00:24:11I told you never to find me at work.
00:24:13I'm...
00:24:14What?
00:24:16What now?
00:24:19I guess I can't.
00:24:20I'm in the middle.
00:24:22Yeah, yes.
00:24:23All right.
00:24:26Bill, I've got to shoot off.
00:24:28Cassie needs me at home.
00:24:29What for?
00:24:31Mine's probably the right time.
00:24:34Oh, come on, Rodney.
00:24:35She'll keep till this evening.
00:24:36Nice.
00:24:37Oh, you know.
00:24:41She's almost probably at the right time, Preacher.
00:24:44Stone me, Rodney.
00:24:46What are you two trying for?
00:24:47A baby or a barbecue?
00:24:51Of course.
00:24:51Of course.
00:24:52Hurry up.
00:24:53Here, don't you want to change your clothes?
00:24:56Oh, look at that.
00:25:00Cass, I'm on.
00:25:02I'm in here, Rodney.
00:25:03All right.
00:25:03It won't be a minute.
00:25:17Sorry about that, Leclerc.
00:25:19I was...
00:25:20I was hot.
00:25:23What are you doing here?
00:25:24She's left down.
00:25:25Left him?
00:25:26Why?
00:25:27Do you know what time he got in this morning?
00:25:30No.
00:25:31Quarter past eight.
00:25:35Get away.
00:25:36I just changed him to his working clothes and went straight down the market.
00:25:39He didn't even stop for a cup of tea.
00:25:41Well, that was the last straw.
00:25:42He's not treating me like that anymore.
00:25:44Look, you've got to look at it from his point of view, Raquel.
00:25:46There are extenuating circumstances.
00:25:49Like what?
00:25:51Well, he's having a lot of trouble with his teeth.
00:25:53That's no excuse.
00:25:54No, I know.
00:25:55But he is in pain.
00:25:56So am I, Rodney.
00:25:57So am I.
00:25:58Well, where are you going to go?
00:26:00I said they could stay here.
00:26:01Here?
00:26:02Well, this is a one-bedroom flat.
00:26:04Well, this is a sofa bed.
00:26:05I won't be here for long.
00:26:07A couple of nights, that's all.
00:26:08Is that OK with you?
00:26:10Yeah.
00:26:11Yeah, of course.
00:26:12Good.
00:26:13I'll make us a cup of something.
00:26:16I'll help.
00:26:38Here we go, gentlemen.
00:26:40Is that right, Del?
00:26:42Just a lemonade for you.
00:26:43Yeah, that's right.
00:26:44Yeah, I'm going down there.
00:26:45Visit Trix Dentist this afternoon.
00:26:46I don't want to smell her booze.
00:26:48So how are things on the home front?
00:26:50You and Raquel still at Pistols Drawn, are you?
00:26:52Yeah, still involved in the Cold War.
00:26:54But I'm going to live my life the way I want to live it.
00:26:57Give her time.
00:26:58She'll learn.
00:26:58That's exactly the attitude I took with my Kareem.
00:27:02Even when she left me, I refused to change.
00:27:06Seven years ago, but I haven't changed.
00:27:08Yeah, but there is a difference, aren't there, Denzel?
00:27:10I mean, you know, Raquel would never leave me.
00:27:13Because it's the real deep love thing.
00:27:15Women are a mystery, though, aren't they?
00:27:18What?
00:27:18I'd say.
00:27:19It is a mystery for you.
00:27:20It is.
00:27:20Answer me this.
00:27:21Why is it that women always want to know what time you got in?
00:27:25Right?
00:27:25They say to you, what time did you get in last night?
00:27:27You say, oh, I don't know, back past 12.
00:27:28And they say, no, you didn't.
00:27:30It was 20 to 2.
00:27:31I think to myself, well, why bloody ask?
00:27:34Oh, he's right.
00:27:35He's right.
00:27:35Why ask?
00:27:36I mean, it's like saying to you, what's that on the telly?
00:27:39Coronation Street or EastEnders?
00:27:40And you say, it's EastEnders.
00:27:41And they say, no, it ain't.
00:27:42It's Coronation Street.
00:27:44I mean, why ask?
00:27:45Why ask?
00:27:46It's me.
00:27:47You know, I came home one night and my missus said, yeah, where are you living now?
00:27:50I said, here.
00:27:51She said, no, you ain't.
00:27:53Threw me suitcase at me.
00:27:55Why ask?
00:27:57Why ask?
00:28:02Well, I mean, that's women for you, aren't it?
00:28:04I mean, they're a different breed.
00:28:06Take my Marlene.
00:28:07She's always moaning on and on about how I don't respect her.
00:28:10I mean, me?
00:28:11Don't respect my own wife?
00:28:13Daft old mare.
00:28:15I mean, I love her.
00:28:17Don't get me wrong.
00:28:17But sometimes I think getting married was the worst mistake I ever made in my life.
00:28:22I sometimes think back to when we first met in Lewisham Grove.
00:28:26I wish I'd never, ever walked into that beating shop now.
00:28:36Oh, so that's who you...
00:28:39Trigger!
00:28:41I remember something very important I meant to tell you.
00:28:43What's that?
00:28:44It's gone now.
00:28:45Oh, that's all right.
00:28:46Denzel happens to me all the time.
00:28:50See, I was just going to say something important to Del, and it's gone now.
00:28:55So how'd it turn out here, Mike?
00:28:57Eh?
00:29:01Coronation Street or East Enders?
00:29:04As long as we weren't El Dorado, we can all sleep easy, aren't we?
00:29:09Well, all right, aren't any messages for me?
00:29:11Yeah, uh, that boat phoned about the video cameras, and, uh, someone come round moaning about, uh, a pair of
00:29:18ski pads.
00:29:19Oh, and Raquel's left ya.
00:29:25They just don't believe it.
00:29:26I have never, never had a woman walk out on me like that.
00:29:30Miss you, eh?
00:29:31Who?
00:29:32All of them.
00:29:34Yeah, they didn't have my child with them, did they?
00:29:39Look, Del, I feel a bit embarrassed about Raquel staying at the flat and that, but what could I do?
00:29:45I couldn't refuse, could I?
00:29:46No, of course not, bruv.
00:29:48No, you couldn't see him turned out in the street, could you?
00:29:51No, you look after him.
00:29:52I'll see you're all right for some money.
00:29:53Oh, don't be silly.
00:29:54No, no, no, come on straight.
00:29:56I appreciate what you're doing.
00:29:58Look, Del, I reckon all it would take is one phone call, and you two would be back together in
00:30:02no time.
00:30:03It'll just take one word, sorry.
00:30:11No, I think you're right, Rodney.
00:30:13All right, get her to phone me and apologise, and I'll...
00:30:16I'm talking about you.
00:30:18Me?
00:30:19What have I done?
00:30:20Raquel hardly ever sees you.
00:30:22You treat that flat like a lodging house.
00:30:24She told me you walked into the bedroom one night and Damien screamed.
00:30:27Thought you was an intruder.
00:30:29That is what a rubbish that is.
00:30:31Look, I've been under a lot of stress lately, what, with, you know, business deals and all that.
00:30:35Yeah.
00:30:35Well, I explained to her, I said Del's been under a lot of pressure.
00:30:38What, with business and his teeth going manky?
00:30:41Exactly.
00:30:41What, with, my teeth are not going manky.
00:30:43They just need looking at it at all.
00:30:44Well, get in there and have them looked at then.
00:30:47I don't like dentists.
00:30:49God, it's like the Milky Bar kid.
00:30:51Quite do what we do, right?
00:30:52Look, we'll go down to Ronnie Nelson's and pick up the cameras.
00:30:56Then we'll come back here and I'll go to the dentist.
00:30:58No.
00:30:59You go to the dentist now and then we'll pick up the cameras.
00:31:03I'll go on, get in there.
00:31:08Are you coming with me?
00:31:14No.
00:31:15I'll have a kip in the van.
00:31:17Oi.
00:31:18Oi.
00:31:19Rodney, I'm going to get you.
00:31:26Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt.
00:31:28Mrs Patel just rang to cancel her four o'clock appointment.
00:31:31Thank you, Beverly.
00:31:32Oh, that's the one.
00:31:34Oh, you know that.
00:31:36Well, it's after the, um...
00:31:38Hmm?
00:31:39No, it's after the...
00:31:43Oh, it's after the...
00:31:45Oh, it's after the...
00:31:51Do you have regular dental checks, Mr Trotter?
00:31:53Oh, yes, Doctor.
00:31:54You can't be too careful where the old troppers are concerned.
00:31:56Can you?
00:31:57And who was the last dentist you saw?
00:32:00The last one, that would be, uh...
00:32:01Mr Owens had a surgery down on Gandy Avenue.
00:32:04Mr Owens.
00:32:05He died on the night of the Queen's Silver Jubilee in 1977.
00:32:10Yeah, it's tragic, isn't it?
00:32:12So, you have a regular check-up every 16 years?
00:32:17Yeah, I think it's better in the long run, don't you?
00:32:20Yeah, yeah.
00:32:22That tooth of yours is beyond repair, Mr Trotter.
00:32:24I'll have to come out.
00:32:25Oh, it's good to come out.
00:32:26All right, well, I'll make an appointment.
00:32:27See you next week, all right?
00:32:28No, no.
00:32:29I'll do it now.
00:32:30Now?
00:32:30Don't worry.
00:32:31You won't feel a thing.
00:32:34This will just make one side of your face a bit numb.
00:32:37Ah, you see, but the thing is, you know, I'm in a bit of a hurry.
00:32:40Oh, it'll take five minutes.
00:32:42I've got my brothers out there in the van.
00:32:44Just a little brick.
00:32:46I don't know him, then, dude.
00:33:03There we are.
00:33:06Now, if you'd like to sit in the waiting room for a while,
00:33:09if you see the anaesthetic time to work, I'll call you in five minutes.
00:33:12Now, thank you, Doctor.
00:33:18Mrs Marshall, you can go through now.
00:33:28I've just got to wait for this jollet to work.
00:33:31Yeah, it doesn't take too long.
00:33:32Perhaps we could complete this form while you're waiting.
00:33:35It's just for new patients.
00:33:37I got most of your details.
00:33:40Well, then, let me see.
00:33:41Yeah, next to kin.
00:33:44Next to kin?
00:33:45Blimey, I'm only having me tooth out.
00:33:47Oh, it's just local health authority procedure.
00:33:51I ain't got no next to kin.
00:33:53What, no one?
00:33:55Well, he's my brother.
00:33:57Have you got any dependents?
00:33:58Yeah, my brother.
00:34:19Yeah, I've got a son.
00:34:20Ah, that's better.
00:34:22It's Damien.
00:34:24Damien Beric Trotter.
00:34:26Oh, my daughter's got a little boy called that.
00:34:28You're not Damien Deric Trotter.
00:34:32No, just Damien.
00:34:34You're having me on.
00:34:35You've got a grandson.
00:34:36Yeah?
00:34:37Never.
00:34:39Must have had your daughter very, very young.
00:34:41I'll put you down as, um, wait on, late 20s.
00:34:46Oh, get off.
00:34:48No, just be honest, straight out.
00:34:51It's your husband, isn't it?
00:34:53Mr Ellis?
00:34:54No, I just work here.
00:34:56Well, I'll say I thought it might be, you know, like a family business, ain't I?
00:34:59No.
00:35:01I'm divorced.
00:35:02Yeah, we broke up about, well, nine years ago.
00:35:05Oh, really?
00:35:07Because, uh, my partner, she, you know, she left me.
00:35:11Oh, I'm sorry.
00:35:13Mm-hmm.
00:35:14You know, people say time's a great healer.
00:35:17I'm not so sure.
00:35:19Even now, I sometimes think about those days, and, well, it still hurts, you know?
00:35:24Yes, I know the feeling.
00:35:25I still get these little pains.
00:35:28When did your relationship break up?
00:35:30This morning.
00:35:34I still need to go out with each other, you know, and cry on each other's shoulders.
00:35:40Now, there is a rat in the vein.
00:35:43You what?
00:35:44In the vein, there's a rat.
00:35:46Rat?
00:35:46In the vein?
00:35:48What are you on about?
00:35:49I'm trying to inform you that there is a rat in the vein.
00:35:53It's not a rat.
00:35:56It's a gerbil.
00:35:58All right, so there's a gerbil in the vein.
00:36:01Oh, no, I've got it for Christmas.
00:36:03For Christmas?
00:36:08For Damien.
00:36:09Yes, it's one of his presents.
00:36:12Jerry the gerbil.
00:36:13I had it in the cage in the back of the van.
00:36:15The door must not come open or something, I don't know.
00:36:18Go and put it back in the cage.
00:36:22Go and put the gerbil.
00:36:24All back in the cage.
00:36:34Dependents.
00:36:36No, my boy, you know, he wanted a pet for Christmas, so I got him Jerry the gerbil.
00:36:42So, what about it, Beverly?
00:36:44Sorry?
00:36:45Yeah.
00:36:46It'll be me.
00:36:47I'm having a date.
00:36:49Oh, well, it's very nice of you, but...
00:36:51Well, you see, the thing is, your relationship's only just broken up.
00:36:55In a couple of days' time, you could both be back together again.
00:36:58No, no, I won't.
00:36:58No, it's finished.
00:36:59Kaput.
00:37:00Oh, no, it's not going back.
00:37:02I'm a free agent.
00:37:03I'll go where I want and with whom I want.
00:37:06Okay, then.
00:37:09Lovely jubbly.
00:37:10You know, it makes sense.
00:37:14Well, what about to see you this evening, then?
00:37:16You know, by eight o'clock?
00:37:18Take him out for a slap-up meal.
00:37:20You know, steak.
00:37:22Onion rings.
00:37:26That's where I live.
00:37:28And that's the telephone number in case anything goes wrong.
00:37:30Oh, well.
00:37:32I see you this evening.
00:37:33What?
00:37:34Hmm?
00:37:35Oh, sorry.
00:37:36Oh, and the septic's being in it and work.
00:37:39I'll be with you in a minute.
00:37:41Hmm.
00:37:41All right.
00:37:46I'll just, uh, shit here.
00:38:06Oh, that ain't Russian cameras Del was telling me about.
00:38:09No, this is a pair of Chelsea boots with an elasticated gusset.
00:38:12Of course, it's a Russian camera.
00:38:14All right, then.
00:38:16How's your mouth, Del?
00:38:17Oh, I can't feel a thing.
00:38:18Brilliant.
00:38:19These camcorders are bigger than I imagined.
00:38:22Yeah, they are a bit on the wide side, aren't they, eh?
00:38:24You said they was handheld.
00:38:26Well, you're holding them in your hands, aren't you?
00:38:28I'm just.
00:38:29You're not supposed to carry one of these round Euro Disney on your shoulder.
00:38:32You do your backing.
00:38:33Well, that's good for you, Rodney.
00:38:34Good for your strength, you see.
00:38:35Build your strength up, won't it, eh?
00:38:37Save you a fortune on all them weights and rowing machines and all that sort of stuff.
00:38:41I wonder what that writing says on the side, there.
00:38:43Reject mice, probably.
00:38:46These are not rejects, Rodney.
00:38:48These are top of the range, these are.
00:38:49Look at them.
00:38:50Look, solid they are.
00:38:52No bits of plastic to break off.
00:38:54The cassette, look at that, is inside the camera.
00:38:56Don't muck about with them soppy little things.
00:38:59No, this was designed for tank warfare, this, you know.
00:39:03Yes, look at that, can you see them now?
00:39:04All right, number one, fire a shot across his bow.
00:39:08Dale.
00:39:09Yeah?
00:39:09I don't fit the machine.
00:39:13No, I know that.
00:39:14I know that they're a different size.
00:39:16But there's no problem, because Ronnie Nelson, he's got a consignment of Russian VCRs coming
00:39:21over next Tuesday from, uh, Volvo Grad.
00:39:24Oh, no.
00:39:25So, if we actually do find a mercenary who wants to tape his next tank belt to show the wife
00:39:29and kids, he's got to buy a Russian VCR off us and all.
00:39:32I can't see him queuing for this one, Dale.
00:39:3495 quid to set.
00:39:36Can't be bad, can it, eh?
00:39:37Think about it, Rodney.
00:39:39Make money on this and more.
00:39:40All you've got to do is fall on your arse and old Jamie Beadle will give you a grand.
00:39:45Are you going out, Dale?
00:39:46Yes.
00:39:47Yes, I'm going out.
00:39:47I've got a date.
00:39:48A date?
00:39:49Huh?
00:39:50What do you mean, you've got a date?
00:39:52I've got a date.
00:39:52I met this woman down at the dentist's.
00:39:55Taking her out for dinner.
00:39:56I don't believe I'm hearing this.
00:39:58Well, you surprise me, Dale.
00:40:01We're killing your baby, we're only just round a corner, and you're going out with some
00:40:04young bird.
00:40:05She's not a young bird.
00:40:07She happens to be a grandmother.
00:40:09A grandmother?
00:40:11No, well, perhaps she can bring her sister along for him.
00:40:16She is a very young grandmother, sister along.
00:40:22Don't look at me like that, Rodney.
00:40:25Raquel was the one who walked out on me.
00:40:32You don't know what it's like.
00:40:34I'm not an island, Rodney.
00:40:37No, man gets lonely.
00:40:39Raquel only left this morning.
00:40:43Hell, she's left you for longer periods when she's been out shopping.
00:40:47Yeah, I know, but it's horrible in here now.
00:40:49You've got Albert.
00:40:50That's what I mean.
00:40:51Could you honestly cheat, Raquel?
00:40:53Two-time the mother of your baby.
00:40:56Oh, Bonnie the douche.
00:40:57I'm only taking her out of the Bernie Inn.
00:40:59Yeah, and that can lead to other things, can't it?
00:41:02Yeah, like next week, I'll take her to a sponge you like.
00:41:05You know what I mean.
00:41:08Did you know that Raquel was crying this afternoon?
00:41:13Crying?
00:41:14Yeah.
00:41:15Sat on our sofa crying her eyes out, because of you.
00:41:19Poor cow.
00:41:21That's what I thought.
00:41:23Well, I'll see you later.
00:41:24Do enjoy your steak, Derek.
00:41:26Rodney, Rodney, all right, all right.
00:41:29All right, no, you've made your point.
00:41:32I was only trying to, you know, see if I could still pull.
00:41:37I'll call her and break off the date.
00:41:39Good.
00:41:40And while you've got the phone in your hand, give Raquel a call and ask her to come home.
00:41:43No way, Pedro.
00:41:46She wants to come back to this flat.
00:41:47She's got to call me.
00:41:49Oh, you kill me, Derek.
00:41:50I'll see you tomorrow.
00:41:52Yeah.
00:41:53You're doing the right thing, Del.
00:41:55It was a bad move.
00:41:57Yeah, I suspect you're right.
00:41:59Pity, really.
00:42:01She fancied one of these cameras and all.
00:42:11Hi, this is Beverly.
00:42:13Can't come to the phone right now, but if you'd like to leave a message after the turn, I'll get
00:42:17back to you.
00:42:19Uh, yeah.
00:42:21Hello, Beverly.
00:42:22This is Del Boy.
00:42:24Um, the thing is, I can't make our date tonight.
00:42:28Um, you know, I'm sorry.
00:42:30I'll give you a call another time.
00:42:32All right?
00:42:33Yeah.
00:42:34Bonjour.
00:42:37I'll pour us a drink, Del.
00:42:39Yeah, wish I had a dog or a cat.
00:42:41You got that gerbil?
00:42:42Yeah, but I feel like kicking something up the arse.
00:42:49He was doing that.
00:42:51Shh.
00:42:51Shrek, how's he now?
00:42:53He was going out with another woman.
00:42:55He was frightening to.
00:42:56He was all dressed up.
00:42:58He looked like a heartthrob out of Crossroads.
00:43:00Do you think he's going through a mid-life crisis?
00:43:02You know, dressing up, trying to attract young girls?
00:43:04Nah.
00:43:05That was the case.
00:43:06And Del's male menopause started when he was 14.
00:43:09Anyway, she's not a young girl.
00:43:11She's a grandmother.
00:43:12A grandmother?
00:43:14Shh.
00:43:15He met her at the dentist's.
00:43:17I don't think much would have happened on their date anyway.
00:43:19And the man's probably sat in a burny ink out in her teeth.
00:43:22Why doesn't he just phone Raquel?
00:43:24They're obviously both missing each other.
00:43:26Oh, it's his pride, isn't it?
00:43:27He is the man and must be seen to be the man.
00:43:30He's never had a very modern attitude towards women and relationships.
00:43:34When he was younger, Del's idea of safe sex was not telling a girl where he lived.
00:43:40It's funny, but in them days, Del used to be my hero.
00:43:44Del?
00:43:45You're joking.
00:43:46Oh, I could tell you things about Del, boy, but it would amaze you.
00:43:49Go on, then.
00:43:50Amaze me.
00:43:53Well, there's...
00:43:53Yeah, there was a time he took his O-levels.
00:43:56I was only a little sprog, but I still remember the night he brought his results home.
00:43:59He'd got eight A's.
00:44:02Eight A's?
00:44:03Del?
00:44:03Yeah.
00:44:04A for English, A for Maths.
00:44:05The list just went on.
00:44:06Wait a minute.
00:44:07There were someone else's results, weren't they?
00:44:09No, no, there were Del's results.
00:44:11I remember my mum and dad was all excited.
00:44:13We had a big family celebration.
00:44:15Aunties, uncles, the lot.
00:44:17Del was tossing up where to go, you know, Oxford or Cambridge.
00:44:20He phoned up both universities, made a few inquiries.
00:44:23What are the pubs like, that sort of thing.
00:44:26I can't imagine Del getting eight A's.
00:44:29No, he surprised everyone.
00:44:31Then, a couple of days later, we got a letter from the school.
00:44:33Well, turned out the A's all stood for absent.
00:44:38You haven't turned up for any of the exams?
00:44:40No, not one.
00:44:42He'd been down the market flogging some offy Tom Jones LPs.
00:44:46Mind you, you wouldn't have laughed.
00:44:47You'd been there at the time.
00:44:49My dad went potty.
00:44:50He was shouting at Del, calling him names.
00:44:53Del was ducking round a room trying to escape.
00:44:57Then it all turned violent.
00:45:00He'd been out drinking, you see.
00:45:03He took his belt off.
00:45:04He started whacking him, punching him, everything.
00:45:08That's what he was like.
00:45:10My mum was screaming, don't hit him, don't hit him.
00:45:12And I was crying.
00:45:14Oh, God.
00:45:16Poor Rodney.
00:45:18Was he hurt?
00:45:20Not too bad.
00:45:21He was in hospital for a couple of days.
00:45:23My mum took me up to visit him.
00:45:25What happened to your father?
00:45:28I'm talking about my father.
00:45:30Oh, God.
00:45:31I thought you meant Del.
00:45:33Oh, no, he was all right.
00:45:35He was a dirty little fighter.
00:45:36He used to go in low and grab him.
00:45:39I've seen him in so many fights over the years.
00:45:41I've heard sounds that only a white hunter could make sense of.
00:45:45I suppose that's why he was my hero.
00:45:48Because from that day onwards, me dad never whacked me again.
00:45:51He was too frightened of what Del would do to him if he found out.
00:45:55So that's how my life went on.
00:45:58As long as Del was around, no one could do me any harm.
00:46:01Of course, he made up for that in later life, but...
00:46:15How are you feeling?
00:46:20Oh, you know, I'll give it a go.
00:46:26Oh, that's nice.
00:46:28Now, don't bite me.
00:46:29You know how easily I bruise.
00:46:37Rodney.
00:46:39Hmm?
00:46:45Mark!
00:46:48Just wandered in.
00:46:50Wandered in.
00:46:52Cassandra, I locked the bedroom door.
00:47:02Why did I come in?
00:47:03I didn't lock the door.
00:47:05There you are.
00:47:06He's been looking everywhere for you.
00:47:09Sorry about this.
00:47:10It's all right.
00:47:11I don't know.
00:47:12He sleeps all day and only comes alive at night.
00:47:16So, I'll take a look at me and I'll take a sire.
00:47:19Night!
00:47:20Night.
00:47:21Night, Damien.
00:47:25What did you say, Anne?
00:47:27Leave it till tomorrow, shall we?
00:47:33Look, it's for an endangered species.
00:47:36Do you realise what's happening to...
00:47:37Wait, come on.
00:47:38Listen, love.
00:47:40Del's been eating a sauce a bit heavy lately.
00:47:42Just keep an eye on those, eh?
00:47:43Yeah, I understand.
00:47:44Leave it to me, Rodney.
00:47:45Look, all I'm asking for is 50p.
00:47:47What happens when you save all these whales?
00:47:50They'll start breathing, will they?
00:47:52Well, I won't be surprised.
00:47:53I don't know how anyone could fancy a whale.
00:47:55Do you?
00:47:57No, I don't.
00:47:59They eat ugly things, don't they?
00:48:00No, look, you haven't got a breed with them.
00:48:02They can sort that sort of thing out themselves.
00:48:04I know a lot more about the sea than you, Rodney.
00:48:07Oh, God, here we go.
00:48:08You'd be surprised how quickly these whales breed.
00:48:10I'm afraid.
00:48:11And they're not all as gentle as some people imagine.
00:48:14True.
00:48:14You get a lot of them together, they can be quite dangerous.
00:48:17Well, do you know why?
00:48:19We have you, Rodney.
00:48:21Holding the submarine up in the Barents Sea, and we got attacked by a whale.
00:48:25It's probably just trying to protect its young, Albut.
00:48:27No, it wasn't.
00:48:29It fancied us.
00:48:30A whale got the hocks for your submarine.
00:48:33Well, that's horrible.
00:48:34We're shaking all over the place.
00:48:37Like your worst nightmare, isn't it, Dave?
00:48:39No, no, my worst nightmare is sitting in a pub having a conversation with you two.
00:48:43Mmm.
00:48:47We've been on for about half hour.
00:48:50Skipper told us to hang on to dear life and don't do anything to annoy it.
00:48:54He put the periscope up at one point.
00:48:56Up where?
00:48:59He looked through the viewfinder and went as white as a sheet.
00:49:02God knows what he saw, but that man never had Albut again.
00:49:10So what'd you do when it was over?
00:49:12All lie back and have a cigarette?
00:49:15Don't take the mickey out of me, Rodney.
00:49:17Have you ever tried to lay an underwater telephone line during the mating season?
00:49:21No, no, I haven't.
00:49:22Well, my advice to you, son, is don't ever attempt it.
00:49:26You want to listen to him, Dave?
00:49:27He knows what he's talking about.
00:49:30Right, brothers.
00:49:31I thought I'd hear myself say this, but here comes a name with some intelligence.
00:49:34Yeah, listen, you're going to give a couple of bob for charity?
00:49:36Yeah, you know me.
00:49:37You're ready for a good cause.
00:49:39What's this?
00:49:39He's trying to save Wales.
00:49:41Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:49:42They don't get nothing.
00:49:43Not half the way they beat us at rugby last year.
00:49:48Yeah, fair enough.
00:49:50So, how's Cassandra?
00:49:51Is she pregnant yet?
00:49:53Don't like that a bit either with that little git standing up on the bed.
00:49:56What little git's that?
00:49:58Um, oh, so, yes, Cassandra, she's got this big teddy bear.
00:50:02She's had it since she was a kid, you know, and it sort of sits at the bottom of the
00:50:05bed and puts me off.
00:50:06You silly mare.
00:50:07How would she like it if you had your Meccano set at the bottom of the bed, eh?
00:50:11Yeah, all right, but don't go on about it.
00:50:13It's personal.
00:50:13It's something that you...
00:50:20See you later, Trig.
00:50:23All right, how's, uh, Davey and Raquel?
00:50:25All right.
00:50:27Playing Damien up London tomorrow, showing the sights.
00:50:29Apparently his daddy's always been a bit too busy to do it himself.
00:50:32Yes, he is too busy.
00:50:33He's too busy out there earning the poppy to pay for the grub and the underfloor eating.
00:50:38Still crying, is she?
00:50:39Yes.
00:50:40All through yesterday afternoon and then all through tea time.
00:50:45Are you getting on your nerves?
00:50:47I'll tell you what's getting on your nerves, shall I?
00:50:49You are missing Raquel and Damien, and Damien and Raquel are missing you.
00:50:52But nobody, it seems, nobody has the intelligence to sort out a problem.
00:50:56I've told you all she's got to do is phone me.
00:50:58But she doesn't know how you feel.
00:51:01She thinks you want a life of shanting it up with your mates and going to casinos.
00:51:05She doesn't realise it was just a phase while you were putting a deal together because you never told her.
00:51:09Yeah, well, I had to play it close to my chest, didn't I?
00:51:11I didn't want words slipping out.
00:51:13But she don't know that.
00:51:14Yeah, well, that, you know, and what with my tooth.
00:51:16No, no, you've had that out.
00:51:18Del, phone her and tell her.
00:51:20What, I've had my tooth out?
00:51:21No, phone her and tell her that you're, oh, tell her what you're bloody like, just phone her.
00:51:27All right, all right, Rodney, I'll give her a bell.
00:51:30Hey, Adele, large scotch on the house.
00:51:32Oh, cheers.
00:51:33All right, what are you doing?
00:51:35Don't go giving him large scotches on the house.
00:51:37Oh, I'm sorry, Rodney, I forgot.
00:51:39Adele, that's 185, son.
00:51:43Didn't even ask for it.
00:51:48Oh, hello.
00:51:49Hello, sweetheart.
00:51:50Listen, don't say a word.
00:51:51Just don't say anything.
00:51:52Just listen to me while I'm in the mood.
00:51:55Right?
00:51:56I'm missing you, darling, and I want you to come home.
00:51:59Now, I know that I haven't been very fair to you in the past, but...
00:52:03Look, I can explain if you just give me the chance.
00:52:07I love you, and that will never change.
00:52:11Things will be different in the future.
00:52:15So, you know, what do you say?
00:52:17Right?
00:52:18Oh, sorry, Cassandra.
00:52:22Yeah, I want to speak to Raquel.
00:52:25She's in the where.
00:52:26All right, hang on.
00:52:32Newborn!
00:52:33Oh, hello, boysie.
00:52:46Who's that woman?
00:52:48Hmm?
00:52:50You know, woman?
00:52:51That woman that just smiled at me.
00:52:53I don't see anybody smiling at me.
00:52:54No one's smiling at me all evening.
00:52:55Who do I know her face from?
00:52:57Oh, yeah.
00:52:58I remember Bronco, Marlene's brother.
00:53:00He was in hospital last year.
00:53:01We went to see him.
00:53:02That's where I saw him.
00:53:03All right, let's clear that mystery up, then.
00:53:04Wait a minute, Bronco.
00:53:05Wasn't he in a psychiatric hospital?
00:53:08Yeah.
00:53:11Thanks.
00:53:12Hello?
00:53:13Hello.
00:53:20Hello, Raquel.
00:53:22How are you?
00:53:23Fine.
00:53:24You?
00:53:25Yeah, lovely.
00:53:27I'm missing you, darling.
00:53:29I'm missing you as well, you rotten sod.
00:53:31Come on in, why don't you come home, eh?
00:53:33It's not as simple as that.
00:53:35Sweetheart, don't take too much notice of me in the last month.
00:53:38It's just been a one-off, that's all.
00:53:40What about the month before that?
00:53:42Yeah, well, that was a one-off and all.
00:53:43Well, I didn't like your attitude.
00:53:45You were willing to gamble with our housekeeping money,
00:53:47with our future in some grotty little South London casino.
00:53:50Look, sweetheart, that's all in the past, I tell you.
00:53:53Look, no more casinos.
00:53:54No more pubs.
00:53:55Same again, Bill.
00:53:56Yeah, all right, Trigg, yeah.
00:53:59Yeah, just, you know, a lemonade and a lime.
00:54:04Listen to me, stupid.
00:54:05I don't mind you going down the Nags Head,
00:54:07so long as it's not every night.
00:54:08And when you do go down there, I wouldn't mind going as well.
00:54:11Yeah, well, that's my thoughts entirely, sweetheart.
00:54:13Exactly.
00:54:14We'll just go down there.
00:54:15We'll just go down at weekends, you know, just to be sociable.
00:54:17Listen, I'll tell you what, sweetheart.
00:54:18If you're going to go out shopping,
00:54:19you get me a pair of those checkered slippers,
00:54:21an underweight of ob-knob.
00:54:23You know, I'm a strange man.
00:54:25I am.
00:54:25I'll even take little Damien out, you know.
00:54:28No excuses.
00:54:30So, what are you ready to do here?
00:54:31Can I come and pick you up?
00:54:33Not right now.
00:54:33Damien's fast asleep.
00:54:35All right.
00:54:35What about first thing in the morning?
00:54:37I promised to take him up London, Madam Tussauds.
00:54:39Unless you'd like to come with us.
00:54:41Oh, no, no.
00:54:41I can't tomorrow, darling.
00:54:42I'll go and pick up all them Russian VCRs.
00:54:44Um, I'll pick you up tomorrow night, yeah?
00:54:47All right, then.
00:54:48All right.
00:54:50Raquel, say the magic words.
00:54:52Don't be silly.
00:54:53Go on, go on, Raquel.
00:54:56Say the magic words.
00:54:59I love you, Trotter.
00:55:01Yes!
00:55:03All right, darling, I'll pick you up tomorrow, all right?
00:55:06Ta-da.
00:55:09That is it, oh, boy.
00:55:11You're an hour-changed man.
00:55:12This is the first day of the rest of your life.
00:55:17Michael, bottle of your finest champagne, please.
00:55:29Shh.
00:55:30Shh.
00:55:32Shh.
00:55:34Shh.
00:55:35Shh.
00:55:36Shh.
00:55:36Shh.
00:55:37Shh.
00:55:37Shh.
00:55:38Shh.
00:55:39Shh.
00:55:41Shh.
00:55:48Just one voice, singing in the darkness.
00:55:57All it takes is one voice, singing so I hear what's on your mind, and when they took around your
00:56:09flight,
00:56:09there's more than one voice, singing so I hear what's going on down there.
00:56:30If only one voice
00:56:34Would start it on its own
00:56:36What's all that racket?
00:56:38It's Trotter, he's drunk again!
00:56:40Why don't you get off your bed, Jerry?
00:56:42If that one voice
00:56:45Would never be alone
00:56:47If that one voice
00:57:09Why don't you shut up, Mac?
00:57:11You're making it worse!
00:57:12You want me to shut up?
00:57:14Why don't you make me shut up?
00:57:16Right, I'll shut that big mouth of yours
00:57:19Downstairs, it's a fire you want
00:57:22Right, I'm in for some of that
00:57:25Oh no, that's all we need
00:57:26One voice
00:57:29One voice
00:57:30One voice
00:57:31Come in here
00:57:34Oh no
00:57:45Hello?
00:57:49Yeah
00:57:51Alright, bye bye
00:58:03We're singing in the precinct
00:58:08They're all singing in the precinct
00:58:10They're all singing in the precinct
00:58:11I can't hear anything
00:58:13No, that was Albert on the phone
00:58:15They're all singing on the estate
00:58:18It's quarter past ten in the morning
00:58:20And they're all singing
00:58:22Why?
00:58:22I don't know
00:58:24Are you working anyone up?
00:58:27Yeah, you and me for a start
00:58:30Yeah, Albert, why is they all singing?
00:58:33Yeah
00:58:35Hmm
00:58:37Mm-hmm
00:58:39Alright
00:58:41No, you don't know either
00:58:45What do you mean, come round?
00:58:46What do you want me to do?
00:58:47Harmonise with him?
00:58:50Albert, there's not a song in the world
00:58:51Del knows all the words to
00:58:52So he'll be finished in a minute, won't he?
00:58:55No, I'm not coming round
00:58:57I'll see you tomorrow
00:58:59I'm not believing
00:59:07I'll be a guy round and see what's happening
00:59:13It takes that one voice
00:59:20Just one voice
00:59:24Singing into the darkness
00:59:30All it takes is one voice
00:59:35All it takes is one voice
00:59:36Shout it out and let it ring
00:59:42Just one voice
00:59:44It takes that one voice
00:59:48It takes that one voice
00:59:53And everyone will sing
01:00:15What's happening now, Woody?
01:00:17What's happening? They're writing again
01:00:18That's what's happening
01:00:20Why don't you have a look for yourself?
01:00:22You're joking
01:00:23I might get a brick gun through the window
01:00:25We're on the 12th bloody floor now
01:00:28What do you think they've done?
01:00:29Invited Jeff Capes along
01:00:31Mrs Murphy said they've brought the horses out
01:00:34Yeah, they have
01:00:34Police have gone to get theirs now
01:00:40You can't you turn that telly down
01:00:42I'm in here trying to get some sleep
01:00:44I don't believe it
01:00:45Hey!
01:00:46Would you have a look out our window
01:00:47And see what's happening?
01:00:49Well, what's the matter now?
01:00:50It's a full-scale inner-city riot
01:00:52Going on downstairs
01:00:54They're all there, Del
01:00:55The SPGs
01:00:56Snatch squads
01:00:57Looters
01:00:58People who want to get on telly
01:00:59And unless I'm very much mistaken
01:01:01Kate Hayden
01:01:04Oh, well
01:01:06What started them all off again then?
01:01:08You!
01:01:10Me!
01:01:10Where'd I go?
01:01:11Singing, Del
01:01:12Singing?
01:01:13Me?
01:01:14Now don't try and deny it son
01:01:15Cause I heard ya
01:01:16Singing?
01:01:17Oh yeah, that's
01:01:18No, wait a minute
01:01:18I remember now, that's right
01:01:19I was celebrating Monday
01:01:21Raquel and Damien are coming home
01:01:22Oh, well that's a good reason for a civil war, innit?
01:01:26Well, I was feeling a bit euphoric
01:01:27What's more natural than to give the vent your joy with a little song, eh?
01:01:32It was one voice singing in the darkness
01:01:34Yeah, I'll cut them now
01:01:35There's bloody thousands of them
01:01:37Alright
01:01:38Okay
01:01:40I'm sorry
01:01:41Oh, well that's alright then, isn't it Albert?
01:01:44Alright, what do you want me to do?
01:01:45You tell me what I should do and I'll do it
01:01:46Oh, well why don't you just stand out on the balcony and shout stop it?
01:01:49Oh, don't be ridiculous
01:01:50They won't take no notice of that, will they?
01:01:53I'll do what I'm gonna do
01:01:54I'm gonna get dressed and I'm gonna go down there
01:01:56Alright
01:01:57Here, listen, what are you gonna do?
01:01:59You're gonna try and talk sensing to them?
01:02:01No
01:02:02Gonna frog them some of this ski gear
01:02:09There we are
01:02:10Lovely jubbie
01:02:12Come on, Nick
01:02:12Off we go
01:02:18What are you gonna check them?
01:02:19Hmm?
01:02:20I don't have to
01:02:20I know what's in them for
01:02:21Russian video recorders, don't I?
01:02:22No, am I not?
01:02:23Are you gonna check their archive?
01:02:24Yeah, I've had a look at one
01:02:25They've got buttons and lights and things
01:02:27They seem kosher to me
01:02:28Go on, get it in there
01:02:38Hey, that woman
01:02:40That woman
01:02:41There
01:02:44What's the matter with you?
01:02:46Hmm?
01:02:47I don't have any money
01:02:48Forget it
01:02:49Come on, hurry up, Rodney
01:02:50Let's get all this stuff down to the garage
01:02:52And I've got to go and pick up Raquel and Damien
01:02:54From your place
01:02:55Are you alright?
01:02:56Yes, yeah, come on
01:02:57Just
01:03:08I saw the riot on TV this morning
01:03:09What started it this time?
01:03:12Something
01:03:13Seems to be the slightest little thing
01:03:15Starts it all off these days
01:03:18Still
01:03:19It was all nice and quiet when I left this evening
01:03:28Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go,
01:03:33let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go,
01:03:33let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go,
01:03:33let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go,
01:03:34let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go,
01:03:36let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go, let
01:04:01Come on, come on!
01:04:52Come on, come on, come on!
01:05:03Come through, Del.
01:05:16Hey, Texo.
01:05:17I've got that VCR that goes with your camera.
01:05:19Nice one, Del.
01:05:20We'll be around tomorrow.
01:05:22Hey, Alex.
01:05:23Tell your sister I've got her video recorder.
01:05:25Right, I'll tell her to choose her when I've got her own fatigue.
01:05:28Lovely-doubly.
01:05:57I'll tell her to choose her when I've got her own fatigue.
01:06:24Oh, Del, this is Beverly.
01:06:26Hey, Beverly, this is my, uh, well, this is Del.
01:06:31Hi.
01:06:33Hello.
01:06:35Watch out.
01:06:38Beverly's interested in Damien's high chair.
01:06:41How'd she find out about that?
01:06:42I saw an ad in the newsagent's window.
01:06:45I was out the other night on my own.
01:06:47You know, nothing to do.
01:06:49Oh, yeah.
01:06:50It's for my daughter's baby.
01:06:52His name's Damien as well.
01:06:54Could you deliver it later today?
01:06:57Yeah, yeah, I suppose so, yeah.
01:06:58Del, Beverly might not be able to afford the full amount.
01:07:00Do you think we could come to some arrangement with her?
01:07:02Yeah, yeah, well, yeah.
01:07:03Well, I'll leave that up to you, sweetheart.
01:07:05Oh, look, I just remembered I've got to go out and meet someone.
01:07:08Yeah.
01:07:09Nice meeting you.
01:07:12Yeah.
01:07:13Bye.
01:07:15It's not usually like that.
01:07:17Must be pressure of business.
01:07:19Hmm.
01:07:23Brodby.
01:07:24Brodby.
01:07:24Brodby's got a problem.
01:07:26I've got a big problem.
01:07:28Do you know that woman that we saw in the market the other day?
01:07:31The one who wasn't there?
01:07:32Yes, that one.
01:07:33She's only haunting me, Brodby.
01:07:34She's only bloody haunting me.
01:07:36Haunting?
01:07:36What do you mean haunting you?
01:07:37She's haunting me.
01:07:38She is the one that I made a date with and then gave her the elbow.
01:07:42And ever since then, she's everywhere that I look.
01:07:45And the other night, she was here.
01:07:46She was here.
01:07:46She was here in the pub.
01:07:48And then this morning, I was driving down the road, and she was standing there by a bus stop.
01:07:51And then she was in the market the other day.
01:07:53Do you remember?
01:07:53You saw her.
01:07:54No, I didn't.
01:07:55Yeah.
01:07:55See what I mean?
01:07:56And today, to top it all, today, I went home, and she's in my flat.
01:08:01What's she doing in your flat?
01:08:02Oh, she said that she'd come to buy Damien's high chair.
01:08:04If she thinks I'm going to believe that, she's got another thing coming.
01:08:07Why did she know it was for sale?
01:08:08She said that she saw the ad that I placed in the newsagents.
01:08:12Oh, that is a bit far-fetched, isn't it?
01:08:14Exactly.
01:08:15You crack me up, you two.
01:08:17Let's have a look at the facts, shall we?
01:08:19So, she was in this pub.
01:08:20Now, maybe, just maybe, she was having a drink.
01:08:23And then you saw her in the market lunchtime.
01:08:25Do you reckon she might have been shopping?
01:08:28Bit of a coincidence, though, that, innit?
01:08:30And then you saw her waiting at a bus stop.
01:08:32Now, this is just a hunch, still.
01:08:34But do you reckon there is an outside chance that she might have been waiting for a bus?
01:08:38Well, I don't know, do I?
01:08:39I'll tell you what I do know, though.
01:08:41She is an ex-psychiatric patient.
01:08:44So?
01:08:45So?
01:08:46She is a jealous woman, Rodney, a woman scorned.
01:08:50Now, jealous women are no problem to me.
01:08:52Normally, you know, I mean, I can handle all that.
01:08:55But this one is a jealous woman who's an olive short of a pizza.
01:09:00And she knows where we live.
01:09:02We could all wake up one morning and find we were still while we were asleep.
01:09:06You're just letting your imagination run away with you.
01:09:09Does she seem odd in any way?
01:09:11I don't know.
01:09:13You can judge for yourself.
01:09:14You've got to go and deliver the high chair.
01:09:17Well, I've got to go.
01:09:19Because I've got a wife and kid.
01:09:20Yeah, but I've got a wife and...
01:09:23a thermometer.
01:09:28Raquel?
01:09:30Raquel, where are you?
01:09:31Raquel?
01:09:47Raquel?
01:10:07Oh, no.
01:10:09Oh, my God!
01:10:11Look!
01:10:14Albert's boiling his pants again.
01:10:19What's wrong, Dale?
01:10:21Where's the gerbil?
01:10:23In Damien's room.
01:10:24He's playing with it.
01:10:24Dale, what is wrong with you?
01:10:26I've got to sort this all out.
01:10:28I've got to sort it all out.
01:10:30I've got to go out, darling.
01:10:32I've got to meet someone.
01:10:47Right, now you listen to what I've got to say.
01:10:48You leave me and my family alone.
01:10:51You don't frighten me.
01:10:53I'm not scared of you.
01:10:55Mr. James.
01:10:57What's wrong with you, you moron?
01:10:59Oh, just a couple of fillings.
01:11:10You were following me.
01:11:11Well, I've been following you.
01:11:13Yes.
01:11:13I thought it was the other way around.
01:11:16Everywhere I go, I see you.
01:11:18I go in the pub with my daughter and son-in-law, and you're there.
01:11:20I'm waiting for a bus, and you drive by.
01:11:23I go and do a bit of lunchtime shopping in the market, and surprise, surprise, there you are again.
01:11:29I even went to buy a second-hand high chair, and you walked in.
01:11:32I live there.
01:11:34Okay, I'll let you off that one.
01:11:35Right.
01:11:37Listen, I think, Mr. Trotter, our wires have become crossed somewhere along the line.
01:11:42But you were in a psychiatric hospital.
01:11:45Yes.
01:11:46Oh, don't try and deny it.
01:11:48That friend of mine was visiting a relative there, and he saw you.
01:11:52Yes.
01:11:52I work there as a receptionist.
01:11:57I'm a medical receptionist.
01:12:00It's what I do, see?
01:12:01So, you won't follow me?
01:12:04Oh, good God.
01:12:04Do you think I'm hard up?
01:12:06Eh?
01:12:07Now, understand this, Mr. Trotter.
01:12:09If you follow me, or come to my place of work and pester me again, I'm going to go to
01:12:13court, take out an injunction against you.
01:12:15Don't you worry, darling.
01:12:16This is the last.
01:12:17We'll hear of each other.
01:12:18Good.
01:12:19Oh, and by the way, I suppose I should have expected as much, but that high chair's got a screw
01:12:24loose.
01:12:26Well, tighten it.
01:12:36There we are, sweetheart.
01:12:37Go on it.
01:12:38Get that down, yeah.
01:12:39Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:12:40Oh, that was a lovely dinner, Achille.
01:12:43Thanks.
01:12:44Another drink, Cassandra.
01:12:45Better not.
01:12:46I'm doing the driving.
01:12:47Oh.
01:12:48Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:12:49Come on.
01:12:50You can stay over.
01:12:51We've got plenty of room.
01:12:52We can all mix in, can't we?
01:12:53Shall we?
01:12:54Yeah, let's enjoy ourselves, eh?
01:12:57Yes, that's it.
01:12:58You know it makes sense.
01:13:00Oh, darling, shall I put your tubular bells on?
01:13:02No, no, not yet, Del.
01:13:04All right, all right.
01:13:05She loves that tubular bells.
01:13:07Hey, come on, champ.
01:13:09It's bedtime for you.
01:13:10Come along.
01:13:11That's it.
01:13:11Come, let's go to bed.
01:13:13Come on.
01:13:13Off we go.
01:13:15Good night.
01:13:16Good night.
01:13:16All right.
01:13:17Good night.
01:13:18Say good night.
01:13:18Night.
01:13:20Lovely.
01:13:20Look at that.
01:13:21He's only ten.
01:13:23Here we go.
01:13:24Which is your room, then?
01:13:26So what did you get Del for Christmas?
01:13:28I got him one of those answering machines he's always on about.
01:13:31That'll save me getting any more rollikings for forgetting messages.
01:13:34Really, you know, this is quite a good one.
01:13:36How much did this cost, John?
01:13:37Shh.
01:13:38It didn't actually cost anything.
01:13:39I swapped it for Damien's high chair.
01:13:41Yeah?
01:13:42Yeah, you know, I reckon you've got a good deal there.
01:13:45Does it work?
01:13:48Hello, Beverly.
01:13:49This is Del Boy.
01:13:52I'm sorry.
01:13:53I've got to cancel our date tonight.
01:13:57You know, I'll give you a lot of time.
01:13:59All right?
01:14:00I've gone short.
01:14:03Watch out.
01:14:04Trotters about.
01:14:05Hey, watch out.
01:14:07Trotters about.
01:14:08Hey, watch out.
01:14:09Hey, watch out now.
01:14:11Trotters about.
01:14:13Hey, don't look at that away.
01:14:15Take it.
01:14:16Oh, come on.
01:14:17Smile.
01:14:20Smile, sweetheart.
01:14:21Don't touch me, Trotter.
01:14:22Don't come near me.
01:14:23Don't even look at me.
01:14:26What have you said to her, Rodney?
01:14:27Me?
01:14:28I haven't said anything.
01:14:29Don't try and blame Rodney.
01:14:30It's nothing to do with him.
01:14:32Don't look at me either, son.
01:14:33I'm keeping out of this.
01:14:34Look.
01:14:35Oh, here you are, Raquel.
01:14:36Are you feeling better now, darling?
01:14:38Hey, Raquel, that could have hit me.
01:14:40It was meant to hit you.
01:14:41Holy infant, so tender and mild.
01:14:49Save me, who are you, please?
01:14:57Save me, help me.
01:15:04Will someone tell me what have I done?
01:15:08What have I done?
01:15:09All right.
01:15:10there's more trouble.
01:15:12All right.
01:15:12There.
01:15:12Get in.
01:15:12There.
01:15:13There's more trouble.