Goodness Gracious Me brought iconic British-Asian comedy to TV with hilarious sketches, unforgettable characters, and sharp cultural satire 😂🔥 From “Going for an English” to legendary family moments, the show became a comedy classic that still feels ahead of its time. A true gem of British television and South Asian humor 🇬🇧🇮🇳
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#goodnessgraciousme #britishcomedy #asiancomedy #southasian #classiccomedy #ukcomedy #comedysketch #cultclassic #britishtv #funnyclips #comedyshow #90scomedy #satire #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #legendarycomedy #retrohumor #tvclassics #desihumor #bbccomedy #iconicshows #comedygold #nostalgiatv #britishasian #dailymotion #comedymoments #sketchcomedy #retroshows #classicbritishtv
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FunTranscript
00:25Good and gracious me!
00:30Oh, six courses. Your wife is a wonderful cook.
00:35Fantastic. Everybody finished with their snacks?
00:39Ready for your starters?
00:43No, I couldn't. I'm absolutely stuffed.
00:46What? You don't like it?
00:48Oh, no, no, I love it, but...
00:50Darling!
00:52Come on, you're wasting away. Come on, have one.
00:55Have one, one, one. Come on.
01:00I suppose I could manage just a little bit more.
01:04Oh...
01:05Come on, you now. You want some, too?
01:08I really am full up.
01:10Shut up! Come on. Don't offend me.
01:13No, no, it's not bad. I just...
01:14There you go.
01:20Come on!
01:22I really love the food, and I know you mean well, but I really am full, and I don't want
01:27any more. Thank you!
01:37Now you're hungry?
01:44Hey, mate. Over here.
01:50I've got some good stuff here, man.
01:53It's Colombian.
01:54How much?
01:5680 quid a grand.
01:5780 quid?
01:58Array, Arran!
01:59Shit, uncle!
02:00Are you buying drugs?
02:02No, no, uncle.
02:03Why didn't you come to me?
02:04I can get pretty much cheaper.
02:08Uncle?
02:09It is my pleasure.
02:10Uncle?
02:10Don't insult me.
02:11Don't insult me.
02:12Don't worry.
02:12Don't worry.
02:15Don't worry.
02:29Don't worry.
02:33I'm getting ready.
02:36Oh, come on.
02:39Array!
02:42So, hope you're all enjoying your stay in my modest little autonomous region.
02:47Oh.
02:48Summer Palace not too spartan, I hope.
02:50Oh, no.
02:51It's absolutely marvellous, Your Excellency.
02:53Oh, please.
02:53We don't stand on ceremony here.
02:55You can call me your Maharajousness.
02:57We really can't tell you how important our conservation work is.
03:01By giving us access to your estate, you are helping us preserve some of India's most rarest species.
03:06Come, come.
03:06It is my pleasure.
03:07This country is indeed blessed with some of the noblest and finest creatures.
03:11Oh, that's right, yeah.
03:12The mighty elephant.
03:13Oh.
03:14The elegant gazelle.
03:16The delicious lion.
03:17I'm sorry?
03:18The scrumptious mongoose.
03:20No, no, no.
03:20Hang on a minute.
03:21Not enough.
03:22All this talk of nature has made me hungry.
03:25Tiger sandwiches, anyone?
03:26Oh, my God.
03:28You don't like Tiger?
03:30Have you ever tried its bum on a cracker?
03:37All the more for me, then.
03:41Oh, just get me a size five, will you?
03:43God damn it, a bullshit here.
03:45No, I know it is a bit tight, but I can get into it.
03:48I don't want you to tell me about it.
03:49I just want you to, you know, get it.
03:52God.
03:52Poor service factor or what, yeah.
03:55Deepa.
03:56Oh, Seema, darling.
03:59Mwah, mwah.
04:01So, I didn't know you shopped here.
04:03Oh, you know how it is.
04:04Just popped in for a pair of Gucci's.
04:06So, how long have you been in here?
04:08About a week, two.
04:10So, I hear Daddy's bought your new house, huh?
04:13Yeah, right next door to them, yeah.
04:15Oh, so have you moved in yet?
04:17God, no.
04:18It's for my shoes.
04:22So, I haven't seen you since Saturday, huh?
04:24Did you have a good time?
04:25Oh, I had a great time.
04:26I loved the line tamer.
04:27And how was the trapeze artist?
04:29Oh, he was all right.
04:30You know, it was a fairly simple wedding.
04:32That's good sometimes, no?
04:33Yeah, a low-key factor.
04:35Exactly.
04:36Yeah, Dad told me he wanted to book Elton John to sing a duet with my Auntie Vina when I
04:41got married.
04:42I said, God damn it, bullshit to hell, yeah.
04:44You know, that's really over the top.
04:46I said I'd be happy with something more traditional like, uh, Michael Bolton.
04:50Mmm.
04:50I told Dad that I was not going to get married until I was good and readier.
04:54And do you know what he said to me?
04:55What?
04:56He said that if I wasn't married by the time I was 24, he'd take away my gold card, yeah?
05:02No.
05:03And do you know what?
05:04What?
05:05I think he would as well.
05:10Yay!
05:12Okay, okay, stop, stop, stop, stop.
05:13Okay, don't be stupid.
05:14Put the blanket straight.
05:15Put the blanket straight.
05:16Hurry up.
05:18Sit down.
05:18Man up the line.
05:21Right, now.
05:23Listen, listen, listen.
05:25It's a beautiful day.
05:26The birds are singing.
05:27We have all come here to relax.
05:29Now, can we please, please get through this day without any raised voices, any noises,
05:33or any hungama?
05:34Okay?
05:35Okay, right, now.
05:36Who wants cheesecake?
05:37Me, please, darling.
05:39Could we have the spoons, please, dear?
05:41Uh-huh.
05:42Oh.
05:43What is it?
05:45We forgot the spoons.
05:50They're only spoons.
05:52I knew this day would be a disaster.
05:55Dear the girls, we will all starve to death.
05:58We have no rewards.
05:59Look, we can eat the cheesecake with our hands.
06:03Uh, darling, you have a bit of cheesecake on your lip.
06:09You have the wet wipes?
06:10You don't have them?
06:11I thought you had them.
06:14Oh!
06:18If not wiped off, the cheesecake will turn to poison, and I will be your widow!
06:26And we'll be your friends!
06:31Look!
06:32Look!
06:33I take this tissue, put a bit of mineral water on it,
06:36hair pressed or wet wipe.
06:37No fuss, no bother.
06:39Oh!
06:41Sorry, darling.
06:42Sorry, darling.
06:42Sorry, darling.
06:42Sorry, darling.
06:43Now, I'm going to have a jam sandwich.
06:48What's that noise?
06:50Oh, it's only a bee.
06:52Oh!
06:53Oh!
06:53Oh!
06:53It is a plague!
06:56Oh, no!
06:57The plague of bees will kill us all!
06:59Bee!
06:59Bee!
07:00It is a plague of bees!
07:01It will be the demon come in the shape of a bee!
07:05Come, children!
07:07Cover me with jam so it may take me further!
07:23What happened?
07:25The demonic bee is dead!
07:27Yes!
07:28Now, can we please eat?
07:29But how did you kill it?
07:30With this aerosol.
07:32Oh, my God!
07:34The aerosol!
07:35Yeah!
07:35You're destroying the ozone layer!
07:38I told you, if you married this man, he would carry out his evil plot to wipe out mankind with
07:45a cloud of toxic acid and a cheesecake!
07:51Everybody behind me, I'll absorb the fatal rays!
07:54It's a problem in jam anyway!
07:57Under the air!
07:58Amaya!
08:09Eat!
08:10Eat!
08:18Oh!
08:18Deepuji!
08:19He got his A-level results!
08:21Ah!
08:22Tell me the worst!
08:22No!
08:23No!
08:23No!
08:23It's great news!
08:24He got what he needed!
08:25Let me see!
08:26Let me see!
08:28English A!
08:30Mathematics A!
08:31Physics A!
08:33Chemistry A!
08:36What is this?
08:38What?
08:38Aha!
08:40What?
08:40He got a B in classical studies!
08:42He got a B?
08:45It doesn't matter!
08:47What do you mean it doesn't matter?
08:48It doesn't matter!
08:48My son got a B!
08:51B!
08:53It's only one!
08:54Still it's a B!
08:56He could have got all A's!
08:58Mr. Sinna's son got all A's!
09:01But my son had to get a B!
09:04Mr. Sinna's son only did two A-levels!
09:06Our son did five!
09:07In one sitting!
09:09He's the first in his school ever to do that!
09:11Really?
09:11Yes!
09:12Then he is going to school full of idiots!
09:14Why am I going to keep my head up in the community?
09:17Hmm?
09:18My son got a B!
09:20He got the grades to do medicine at Cambridge!
09:24He's doing medicine at Cambridge?
09:26Yes!
09:28Idiot!
09:29He should be doing PhD!
09:32Don't let you do a post-graduate without a degree!
09:34I know!
09:36That's why I was telling him to do his degree in his spare time!
09:41What is wrong with him?
09:42Mr. Thana's son is getting B.S.E.
09:44My son is only doing A-levels!
09:48Too busy playing football!
09:50He got into the Millwall first team!
09:53Millwall!
09:53Millwall!
09:54Mr. Owen's son is getting into Liverpool!
09:58My son can only get a place in Millwall!
10:01He will bring shame to the family!
10:03But Liverpool wouldn't give him a trial!
10:05And why is that?
10:07Because he's six!
10:25Meow, pussycats!
10:28Yeah, it's me, Smita Smitten, showbiz kitten,
10:31digging in the gardens of the rich and famous
10:33to unearth hot chunks of steamy gossip.
10:36And in the week of the Oscar nomination,
10:38the Cannes Film Festival and the Mardi Gras in Rio,
10:41my weekly column comes to you live and exclusive
10:44from my mother's kitchen in Bombay.
10:48So, meow, mummy!
10:50What's new, pussycats?
10:51Why are you wearing black again?
10:53Why can't you wear something cheerful?
10:55No wonder you haven't got a man!
10:57Ow!
10:58Looks like tongues have been wagging all over this crazy burg!
11:03What is the matter with you?
11:04Why can't you be normal like your sisters?
11:07When will you give me some grandchildren
11:09instead of moping about the house in your black dresses,
11:13frightening the men away like a menopausal scarecrow?
11:20Next week, my show comes live and exclusive from my bedroom
11:25where I'll be going one-on-one
11:26with a two-litre pot of pralines and cream.
11:31I love you, mummy.
11:42Do you want to?
11:43Yes.
11:44Are you sure?
11:45Oh, yes.
11:46Have you got any?
11:47It's OK.
11:47I got some from the machine in the pub.
11:52Hurry!
11:54Hurry, Peter!
11:55Uncle!
12:00Uncle!
12:02Uncle!
12:04Uncle!
12:04Don't insult me!
12:05Uncle!
12:06Uncle!
12:07Don't worry!
12:07Uncle!
12:08See?
12:09Rafis!
12:14Friends, we are gathered here today to mark the passing of
12:18India's favourite children's entertainer.
12:21One half of a comedy duo that inspired and entertained
12:24many little children across the globe.
12:26I'm talking, of course, about Sati.
12:30Of Sati and Sweep.
12:35Yes?
12:38You want to light the funeral pyre?
12:39Huh?
12:41Well, OK.
12:42But you must be very careful.
12:43And I'm only letting you do it because there's a grown-up around.
12:46OK?
12:48All right.
12:48Let's say the magic words, then.
12:51Izzy, wizzy, let's get busy.
12:59Do I know what Sati means?
13:01Uh, well, no.
13:03What does it mean?
13:08Really?
13:08The bride throws herself on the funeral pyre?
13:10Yeah!
13:11Well, well, well, sweet.
13:12It just goes to show what a strange old thing traditions can be.
13:16Yes?
13:20You want to throw Sukhvinder on the fire?
13:22Yeah!
13:25Oh!
13:27Oh, Mr. Komal.
13:29I don't think he can do that.
13:31It would ruin my nice new Punjabi suit.
13:34Well, she does have a point there, Sweep.
13:39She won't worry about a charged Punjabi suit when she's dead.
13:46She'll achieve nirvana by throwing herself on the funeral pyre.
13:50Oh, Mr. Komal.
13:52Sweep knows very well
13:53that bride burning was outlawed years and years ago.
13:57And everyone here thinks it's barbaric.
13:59Don't you, everyone?
14:01Hello!
14:03Mr. Komal, please, listen.
14:05Bride burning only applied to wives
14:07and I wasn't even married to Sati.
14:10Well, Sweep, what do you say to that?
14:15Stone the adulterers to death?
14:17Okay.
14:19Oh, help!
14:21Ouch!
14:22Ouch!
14:23Ouch!
14:31Squeemish factor or what, yeah?
14:33So, anyway, you remember that Troy I used to go out with?
14:37Troy?
14:38You know, the one who used to get drunk and hit me with a bat.
14:42Oh, right, the one who hospitalized you for three weeks, yeah?
14:45Yeah.
14:46What about him?
14:46Bought me a Prada handbag the other day.
14:49Oh, what a sweetie.
14:53Eh, Sarjita!
14:56Meenakuta!
14:59That's Sinjan and Vanessa!
15:02No, Dennis, you old bogey collector.
15:06You ready for a quick round on the old links?
15:08Any time!
15:09But let's get the golf out of the way first!
15:12The links is the golf course, Dennis.
15:15I knew that.
15:17Shall we tee off?
15:19Teeing, teeing!
15:20Teeing!
15:21Teeing!
15:21Teeing!
15:21Teeing!
15:22Teeing!
15:22Teeing!
15:23Teeing!
15:34Teeing!
15:36Um, say, darling, I've got an idea.
15:40Why don't we turn the stick around?
15:43Technically they're called clubs, not sticks.
15:47Yes, are you too sure you've played golf before?
15:50Of course, of course. We are both members of the Royal and Ancient Chingford Gulf.
15:57Stick.
15:58Club.
15:59Sure?
16:00Yes.
16:01I knew that. Let's try this end.
16:12I've hit that thing a mile.
16:15That thing is called a divot, and it's supposed to stay on the ground like your ball has.
16:26I say I'm absolutely proud. Care for a spot of whiskey, shall it?
16:32No, thanks.
16:34Not while I'm driving.
16:39I say, where's Dennis got to?
16:41Oh, here he comes.
16:42So, sorry, chaps. Just being for a tinkle.
16:47What? You went all the way back to the clubhouse?
16:50No. I went to that latrine.
16:55That's a bumper.
16:58Sure?
17:00Yes.
17:01I didn't know that.
17:04Aye, hey. Who's this chap?
17:06What the hell are you people doing on this course?
17:10Teeing off? What are you up to?
17:13Look, you can't play here. It's just not on.
17:17Why not?
17:18Because this club is restricted.
17:21I'm not sure I'm with you all, fruity.
17:26Well, let me put it this way.
17:28How many Asian people have you seen playing on this course?
17:33I haven't seen any.
17:34That's right. And they usually get everywhere, don't they?
17:38And another thing.
17:40Are any of you lot called Dennis Cooper?
17:47How do you know?
17:49Because you've written your name in the sand.
17:52Dennis, shall we move on to the 19th hole?
17:55Oh, I've had enough of golf.
17:58Let's just go straight to the bar.
18:00Thank God you brought the golf guard.
18:03Absolutely.
18:14And for dessert, buttock of chimp in a raspberry mousse.
18:20Well, we could shave the hair off.
18:25All the more for me then.
18:29Well, I'll tell you what.
18:30Why don't you give Patrick Cox a call and ask him where he keeps the size twos, huh?
18:37God, initiative factor, or what?
18:40So anyway, I bumped into Mina the other day, you know.
18:43She was looking really terrible.
18:44She should do something about it, yeah.
18:46I mean, it's really unflattering.
18:48Yeah, I mean, you can still make the effort, right?
18:50Leprosy or no leprosy.
18:57Ciao, man.
18:58Ciao, man.
19:00What are you doing, man?
19:02Put your dukes up, man.
19:03You all right?
19:04Watch out, I'm switching hands.
19:05You'll be putting that spring in your coke again.
19:07Kiss my titties, man.
19:09Then why are you dancing around like a mongoose?
19:12Because I'm boxing, innit?
19:14Why?
19:15Because, man, like my Asian brothers, I'm recognising our true leader and role model.
19:20The man who's going to unite all of our religions and castes with his boxing skills.
19:23The best pound-for-pound fight the world's ever seen.
19:26Who's that, man?
19:27What do you mean, who's that?
19:28The Asian sensation.
19:30The fighting man from Pakistan.
19:33The southpaw from near Lahore.
19:35Prince Nassim Ahmed.
19:38No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
19:39Wait a minute, man.
19:40Wait a minute.
19:42Prince Nassim Ahmed ain't Asian.
19:47Kabadar.
19:49Are you dissing the pachy-fist?
19:54Pachy-fist?
19:55Yeah, I made it abs good, innit?
19:57I'm telling you, that man, that Prince Nassim Ahmed ain't Pakistani.
20:02He's from the Middle East, innit?
20:05All the Asian kids love him.
20:06He's the new Tiger Delibar Singh, serious businessman.
20:09I don't care, man. Prince Nassim Ahmed's from Yemen.
20:13Where?
20:13Yemen the Middle East.
20:17You total bestie.
20:19How come he's got an Asian name, then?
20:22Don't mean anything, man.
20:23So does Muhammad Ali.
20:25What the bloke from the halal meat shop?
20:26No, no, no, no.
20:27The boxer.
20:28He wasn't from Karachi, was he?
20:30Wasn't he?
20:31No.
20:32And we know loads of Asians who call themselves Rocky.
20:37Yeah, like my cousin Rakesh.
20:39And my mate Bajinder.
20:40Yeah.
20:40But Nass is an arrogant show-off who enjoys spending his cash on flash watches and fast cars.
20:45And the...
20:46That's my lie!
20:47Thank you, Paulie.
20:49Tell me, man.
20:52Hey, he's just like us.
20:54Exactly.
20:55Respect to the Asian sensation.
20:56So come on, Dan, you're fighting or what?
21:02Get it!
21:09No.
21:10I'm not buying it just because I can't get it off.
21:12Now go and get me a carpet knife.
21:15So anyway, she was wearing this dreadful grey Riffat Rosberg thing.
21:20You know, last year's colour, last year's designer.
21:22She looked dreadful.
21:23She always does, yeah.
21:24You should just blank her.
21:26Oh, I do.
21:27I haven't spunked her for months.
21:29Anyway, how's your mother?
21:30Still fat.
21:33After the short gestation period, the meerkat pups are born into the cosy world of the family den.
21:39They are protected from predators until, a few weeks later, they emerge for the first time above ground, blinking nervously
21:46and raising themselves shakily onto their little hind legs to take their first look at the new and wondrous landscape
21:53spread out before them.
21:56That's when I like to remove their feet, fry them in butter and serve with a garlic dip.
22:05More for me then.
22:08Mum and Dad, I'm going to the pictures.
22:10Oh, have a nice time.
22:12The thing is, I haven't got no money.
22:15Oh, of course. Here you go, son. Enjoy yourself.
22:19Have fun.
22:20I won't be having a drink then, will I?
22:22Oh, of course not.
22:25There you go, you have fun.
22:27Enjoy yourself.
22:28What about me mates? I've got to get around in.
22:31Oh, right, well, um...
22:34Right, you have fun.
22:37Enjoy yourself.
22:39How am I going to get there?
22:41I'm sure you've got enough there for bus fare.
22:44Bus? I want a car.
22:47Taxi?
22:48No, a car, you know, a BMW, one of the sport ones.
22:53BMW, but I don't think we've got any more.
22:57Jewelry.
22:59Um, of course, here you go.
23:02Watch.
23:03Will you have fun?
23:05Don't forget your, er, wedding rings.
23:07Well, you are our son.
23:10Right.
23:11Enjoy yourself and don't be late.
23:14Hey, what am if I meet a girl?
23:17I can't bring her back here.
23:18You can't?
23:19No.
23:20I need a place on me own.
23:21You know, one of those warehouse conversions near the river.
23:24Well, right, but how?
23:26I mean, we've not got anything else.
23:29Oh.
23:31Second mortgage, yeah.
23:33Hey, sign here.
23:37Well, here's our son, darling.
23:39Ah, you tell him, Mum.
23:41There you go.
23:42You have fun.
23:43Thanks.
23:44Enjoy yourself.
23:45I will.
23:49Mum, can I borrow your air dryer, please?
23:52Don't be ridiculous and get back to your room.
23:54Don't enjoy yourself.
24:03That's...
24:04Well, I don't know why I came here tonight.
24:08I got a feeling there's something right.
24:12I'm so scared, I guess I'll fall off my chair.
24:16And I'm wondering how I'll get down the stairs.
24:21Clowns.
24:21It goes to the right here I am.
24:25I just want to eat, eat.
24:26Did it?
24:31And I'm wondering what it is I should do.
24:39Well, of course, we always fly British Airways.
24:43Well, we always fly Britannia.
24:46Or monarch.
24:47Of course.
24:51Welcome to A-N-D-F-L-I-2-0
25:05My mom says I can't see my girlfriend anymore
25:10She keeps on telling me that white girl's just a whore
25:14My girlfriend says that I should just walk out the door
25:19She says there's 50 ways to leave your mother
25:2550 ways to leave your mother
25:29My mother says she doesn't want me having sex
25:34I think the situation's getting too complex
25:39My girlfriend says that I should read Oedipus Rex
25:44She says there's 50 ways to leave your mother
25:5050 ways to leave your mother
25:53Just tell her you're a druggie, juddie
25:56Just say the joke, we're up here
25:58Just get me in the club, bub
26:00Just listen to me
26:03You just fell in exam, ran
26:05Start wearing a frock, shock
26:08Just say you're in the sheep, billy
26:10And set yourself free
26:16My mom said, son, I've got the perfect girl for you
26:21She's better than your gaudy
26:24She's of darker hue
26:25I said, she's got a mustache
26:28And breaks wind in public too
26:30There must be 50 ways to leave your mother
26:3650 ways to leave your mother
26:41I said to my mom, is there no chance of consent
26:46For me to wed my rich white girl whom you resent
26:50She said, if she's filthy rich, cut me in for 10%
26:55There must be 50 ways to leave your mother
27:0150 ways to leave your mother
27:04You just move abroad, you know
27:07Don't move abroad, you know
27:08Don't do a thing, sing
27:10Join the PMPG
27:11Join the PMPG
27:12Just listen to me
27:13You gotta listen to me
27:14You just crap on the floor to shore
27:16Just crap on the floor to shore
27:17Make sure it's next door
27:20Just think of the basic
27:21Think of the basic
27:22And set yourself free
27:24You just tell her you're a druggy jive
27:26Just tell her you're a druggy jive
27:27Just tell her you're a queer of beer
27:29Just tell her you're a queer of beer
27:30Just tell her you're in the club
27:31Just tell her you're in the club
27:32Just listen to me
27:33You gotta listen to me
27:34You just fail an exam
27:36Just fail an exam
27:37Start wearing a frock to shore
27:38Start wearing a frock to shore
27:39Just say rent a sheep dilly
27:41Say rent a sheep dilly
27:42And set yourself free
27:47Set yourself free
28:22and your general knowledge questions starting now what was the nationality of the painter
28:27Botticelli? Indian. Where did the allied weapons take place after the second rule war? India. Who
28:32was the third earth? India. Cumulonimbus. Cumulus. Indian. Where did you? India. Why? Indian. I've
28:38started so I'll. India. And at the end of that round Mr. India. You have scored precisely zero
28:45points. Zero. Invented in India. Goodness gracious me.
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