Goodness Gracious Me brought iconic British-Asian comedy to TV with hilarious sketches, unforgettable characters, and sharp cultural satire 😂🔥 From “Going for an English” to legendary family moments, the show became a comedy classic that still feels ahead of its time. A true gem of British television and South Asian humor 🇬🇧🇮🇳
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#goodnessgraciousme #britishcomedy #asiancomedy #southasian #classiccomedy #ukcomedy #comedysketch #cultclassic #britishtv #funnyclips #comedyshow #90scomedy #satire #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #legendarycomedy #retrohumor #tvclassics #desihumor #bbccomedy #iconicshows #comedygold #nostalgiatv #britishasian #dailymotion #comedymoments #sketchcomedy #retroshows #classicbritishtv
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FunTranscript
00:00Thank you very much.
00:30Right, everyone ready to order?
00:32Yeah, Dad.
00:33Yeah, Dad.
00:34I think I'm going to have the pizza.
00:36Yeah, me too.
00:37What are you going to have, Mum?
00:39I'm not hungry.
00:40What?
00:41Have a pizza, Mum.
00:42They're supposed to be really good at this place.
00:44Pizza?
00:45What is pizza?
00:47Why should I pay people for pizza when I can make it at home for nothing?
00:51Of course I can make pizza.
00:53Yeah, all I need is tomato, atta, paneer and a small aubergine.
01:01But it's not the same thing, is it?
01:03What, now your mother can't cook?
01:04Oh, okay, okay.
01:05Forget pizza, how's spaghetti?
01:08Spaghetti?
01:09I can make at home.
01:10No, you can't.
01:12You haven't got any spaghetti at home, have we?
01:14I can just cut the roti into very thin strips.
01:18All I need is kheema, tomato, paneer and a small aubergine.
01:23Every time we go out, it's the same.
01:25I've had enough.
01:26Chalo.
01:27Metal, call us a taxi.
01:28Outside.
01:33Taxi.
01:35Taxi I can make at home.
01:37All I need is a car, a driver and a small aubergine.
01:47Eagle T to control.
01:49Looking good.
01:50Roger, Eagle.
01:53Take off system for final approach.
01:55Metal.
01:57Brakes.
01:58Saddle.
01:59Little dingly bells.
02:01I got a flow out.
02:03Prepare kit is out.
02:04I can't stabilize.
02:05I made you a port.
02:06She's breaking up.
02:07I can't hold it.
02:08She's breaking up.
02:10Ow.
02:11Bugger.
02:14Sanjeev Austin.
02:16Rickshaw test pilot.
02:17A man barely alive.
02:19We can rebuild him.
02:20We have the power.
02:22We have the capability.
02:23We don't have the ideal exchange rate.
02:25Yes.
02:26Sanjeev Austin is the six million rupee man.
02:36Oscar.
02:37Sanjeev.
02:39You rebuilt me.
02:41Yeah.
02:42At a cost of six million rupees.
02:45It's only $150,000.
02:47Possibly more on the black market.
02:49So, um, faster, stronger, better than I was before, huh?
02:53Well, no.
02:55What's my first mission?
02:56Sanjeev Austin, your first mission is to buy some groceries.
03:07I'd like some sugar, please.
03:09I'm afraid we don't have any.
03:16Yes, you do.
03:17Behind you on the shelf.
03:22Wow.
03:23How did you see that?
03:25My bionic eye enables me to see objects.
03:32Would you like a bag?
03:35No, thanks.
03:36My bionic arm enables me to carry small items of shopping.
03:57Sanjeev Austin, you have successfully completed your first mission.
04:01This tea tastes much better with sugar.
04:04Yeah, that's great, Oscar.
04:06Where are those little plastic stirrers we used to have?
04:08You're standing on them, big guy.
04:10You mean they're under my feet?
04:11No, you made your legs out of them.
04:30Hi, Mom.
04:31Dad.
04:32Hey, wait a...
04:33Hello, hello, it's Simon.
04:35Simon, huh?
04:36Very good, very good.
04:37Sit, sit, sit.
04:38So, you two boys been out chasing girls again tonight?
04:45You know, you can't go on like that forever.
04:47I used to think about settling down now a little bit.
04:50Simon, you should help him.
04:52Help him find a nice girl.
04:56Look, Mom, Dad, there is something we need to talk about.
05:01How can I put it?
05:03You've seen my record collection?
05:05Oh, yes.
05:06He has hundreds of records.
05:08Yes.
05:09They're all by Judy Garland.
05:10No, no.
05:11No, no, no.
05:12Also, you have Shirley Bassey, Gloria Gielder.
05:16A village people.
05:18Do you see what I'm saying?
05:20Uh, no.
05:23Don't you think it's a bit odd that I never bought any girlfriends home?
05:26Well, you're a good boy.
05:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:29I've never had any girlfriends.
05:32Because you're waiting for the right girl to come along.
05:34No, no.
05:34I ain't waiting for any girl.
05:36Oh, well, there's no rush.
05:38Ah, you're very busy.
05:40Look, we live together.
05:44Fun, isn't it?
05:45I used to live with 400 other men in the army.
05:48No, no, no, no.
05:49Me and Simon sleep together.
05:52All right?
05:53Morecambe and Y slept together.
05:55Laurel and Hardy all the time.
05:56For the teens.
05:58Okay.
05:59I'm gay, okay?
06:00And so am I.
06:01What?
06:02Both of you?
06:05Oh, my God.
06:07My son is a lesbian.
06:10You go to your room.
06:12And don't come back until you're not of the gay.
06:14Simon is my life partner.
06:16We're madly in love.
06:17We enjoy a full physical relationship.
06:20Oi, oi, oi, oi.
06:22Mum, Dad.
06:23Don't get upset.
06:24You'll get used to it.
06:26Look, I'm still the same person.
06:29But, Simon.
06:31You couldn't have found a nice Indian boy?
06:39Excuse me.
06:40This cheese.
06:41Yes, madam.
06:43I can make it at home for nothing.
06:51No.
06:52It's at home.
06:53Hello, sweetie.
06:54Hello.
06:55Hey, my son.
06:56Hey, Daddy.
06:57Let's go.
07:00Now, kids.
07:01I've got a surprise for you.
07:03Hooray.
07:04What is it?
07:04What is it?
07:05You know how you're always on at me to get you a pet?
07:07Yes.
07:07Well, I got one.
07:09Look at that.
07:10Dogs.
07:11Dogs.
07:11No.
07:12No.
07:12You see, dogs are very dirty animals.
07:14They smell.
07:15They leave their hair all over the place.
07:17You know?
07:17And also, they do their toilet on the carpet.
07:19And also, Hindus don't really keep dogs.
07:21It's the cat.
07:23No, no, no.
07:24You see, cats are also very dirty animals.
07:26They do their toilet on a tray in the kitchen.
07:30Come with me.
07:30Close your eyes.
07:31Close your eyes.
07:32Close, close.
07:33Ow, ow, ow.
07:34Come on.
07:35Come on.
07:36Come on.
07:36Sweetheart, come on.
07:37Come on.
07:38Come on.
07:38Keep your eyes closed.
07:39Keep your eyes closed.
07:40Don't open.
07:41Don't open.
07:42Come on.
07:42Step, step, step.
07:43Step.
07:43Come on, baby.
07:44Come on, darling.
07:46Okay.
07:48And open.
07:49Kids.
07:50I'm a baby.
07:52It's a cow.
07:54Actually, Daisy is a mad cow.
07:56You know, she's going to be killed by those barbarian westerners.
07:58But with a little help from the temple, I have sailed her.
08:02Bash.
08:02I know what you're going to say.
08:04But cows are very clean animals.
08:05They do their toilet outside.
08:08They give milk.
08:09They till the land.
08:10They're very loyal.
08:11Come on, Stoker.
08:11Come.
08:12Come on.
08:12I don't want a cow.
08:13Don't want one.
08:14Shut up.
08:14Come and play with the cow.
08:15Come on.
08:16Come on.
08:16Come on.
08:16Fetch.
08:17Fetch.
08:17Please.
08:17Fetch.
08:18Get this cow off my doorstep.
08:21God, get the stick.
08:22She'll fetch it this time.
08:22No, she won't.
08:23She just eats.
08:24That's all she does.
08:33Apart from that.
08:36Okay.
08:36Well, as responsible pet owners, I think we ought to pick that up, put it in a little bag and
08:40throw it away.
08:41Okay.
08:41I'm going in.
08:42No way.
08:42No way.
08:43Can I help me with this shit?
09:13I'm going in.
09:36Oh, God.
09:38Come on.
09:39Everybody only four months to home
09:58Claps with chest pains 20 minutes ago. Have you got pictures right here right on 20
10:09You've had a heart attack. We're gonna have to perform a bypass operation. No, no, no. I can't perform by
10:14bus operation at home
10:17A piece of artery sharp knife and a small
10:28I'm sure you'll love it. I'll just get your receipt. Thank you
10:42Yes, you buying holiday from these people yes, we're going away
10:46Why didn't you come to me because you're not a travel agent I can get you a cheaper
10:51We've booked already you don't worry. I'll go we've got the tickets
11:04You leave everything to me, huh? Raju you go to the airport. You tell them you are mr. Makija
11:1164 years old traveling to Delhi, but we want to go to Tenerife
11:15Two weeks later you go to the airport. You tell them you are mr. Makija
11:23No
11:24He'll be in Delhi. No, I won't
11:26You want cheap holiday? I'll be get for you. No, we don't want a cheap holiday uncle
11:32We want a nice holiday in Tenerife together dad. Yeah, I know about these things. It's better if you go
11:36separately
11:38We have to go together
11:40Don't worry. Yeah, uncle. Yeah, we have to go together because I'm ovulating and we're trying for a baby
11:47There you're happy now
11:49You want baby?
11:52Why didn't you come to me?
11:53Why didn't you come to me?
11:56I can get you much cheaper
12:10Bunty is the man that I've been waiting for
12:14I met him through my cousin's brother's phone
12:21And after just one date in Pizza Hut
12:26I knew that for me he was the one
12:32Bunty's been my lover now for six long years
12:37I'm the English girl he never takes a side
12:43And now I hear his mother's chosen him
12:48A village virgin for his brand new bride
12:53Isn't he good?
12:55Lying git
12:56Isn't he fine?
12:58What a bitch you
12:59Isn't he crazy?
13:01He will be mine
13:05But in the end he needs someone who is just like me
13:09He needs security
13:12He needs me just to practice shagging on him
13:16Well
13:22I love the way he smiles at me so tenderly
13:27I won't miss his skidmots or his smelly breath
13:33He must be clever, he's a pharmacy
13:37His brainless chatter bored me off to death
13:44I wonder if he's had a lot of girlfriends
13:50I wonder if the poor cow knows the score
13:56But I'll forgive him, he's my husband soon
14:00I'd like to nail his scrotum to the floor
14:06What a dickhead
14:07Who are you?
14:09I wish he was dead
14:10This can't be true
14:12He lied to me
14:13And he could lie to you
14:18But in the end he needs a little bit more than me
14:22More than a gory
14:25He told me that I was the only one
14:28I know him too well
14:30Well you've got fifty years to change him
14:36I know him too well
14:44Hey beta, if you wanted money you should have come to me
14:46No, uncle, maybe
14:47No problem
14:48No
14:48I can get you much cheaper
14:50Fine, uncle
14:50So sweet
14:52Thank you
14:53You don't worry about
14:54Don't insult me
14:55Don't insult me
14:56Don't worry
14:57Don't worry
15:08Miss Sefner, hi
15:09Thanks for coming
15:10Hello
15:11It's great
15:11Did you get a chance to look at the script?
15:13Yes, yeah
15:14Excellent, that's great
15:15Listen, sit down
15:16Thanks
15:18Okay, now as you know
15:19Your character is a traditional Indian girl
15:23Who's been beaten up by her father and six brothers
15:26For running away from home
15:28And she's ended up as a sort of drug abusing prostitute
15:32Living on the streets
15:33And having to sort of fend for herself
15:36Now it's set in Glasgow
15:38So what I'm looking for really
15:39Is a broad Scottish accent
15:41With just a trace of Indian in there, yeah?
15:45I'll try
15:46Listen, that's great
15:48I'll tell you what
15:49I'll read in Keith
15:50That's her pimp
15:51And you could
15:52If you wouldn't mind reading in
15:55Nazneen
15:56Nazneen Suleiman
15:58Nazneen Suleiman
15:59Sorry
16:00That's all right
16:00Okay
16:01Right, let's give it a whirl
16:03Show
16:07So you little bitch
16:08Thought you could get away with ripping me off, did you?
16:11Well, no one does that to me
16:21That's great
16:22That's great
16:22Thanks for having me
16:30Please, please
16:31You've embarrassed me enough for one second
16:32Take that in the garden
16:33Okay
16:36Oh my God
16:37Oh God, what's happened?
16:39We've been burgled
16:40But I thought all the windows and doors were locked
16:43They were
16:43Well, how did they get in then?
16:46Maybe through the go flap
16:47I don't say
16:52Go flap
16:54Go flap
16:57You mean like a cat flap
16:59Yes
17:03So hard enough for a cow
17:05Obviously
17:08And smaller things
17:10Like TVs, fridges
17:14And that
17:15And you know
17:16The average size of a cow
17:17Of all the stupid
17:19What possessed you
17:20To put in a bloody cow flap?
17:22Look, right
17:23I thought it'd be easier for the cow
17:24If she could come and go as she pleased
17:26You know, for her toilet and so forth
17:27Oh God, I knew this was a bad idea
17:28Why have I got such a buddhu for a husband?
17:31You'll upset Daisy
17:32Look at her
17:32She's upset already
17:37Oh my God
18:11What the hell's keeping them?
18:12We're lucky to have got a kidney at all
18:15Right, come on people
18:16Let's go
18:18Don't touch that
18:23Hello, Uncle
18:24If you wanted a kidney
18:26Why didn't you come to me?
18:27Oh, that's true
18:28I could have got you much deeper
18:30We were very busy
18:31I've got a very sick woman
18:32Don't, don't, don't
18:34Don't inside me
18:35Don't inside me
18:36Don't worry
18:38Don't worry
18:38Leave it to me
18:39No
18:43Rubbish
18:46Dad, don't worry
18:51This is fierce, man
18:53I can't believe that you got tickets
18:55For the Oprah Winfrey show
18:57Myra didn't even know
18:58She was in the country, innit
18:59Well, my uncle works in TV, innit
19:02Oh, massive, man
19:04What channel?
19:05All of them
19:06Eh?
19:07It's a repairman, innit
19:11I love Oprah, man
19:12What?
19:13When I grow up, right
19:14I want to be like Oprah
19:15Yeah
19:17You mean a middle-aged black woman
19:18With a weight problem?
19:20Nah, man
19:21Like rich and successful
19:23And like a TV mogul, innit
19:25She's the richest woman in the world, man
19:27Whoa
19:27Man, that is because
19:29Right, chat shows
19:29Are massively popular
19:31But do you know what?
19:32Is it because of the
19:33Manalian angst caused by the
19:35Disillusion of the
19:36Commonly held value system, innit?
19:41No, you bendu
19:44It is because, right?
19:46A problem, Ed
19:47Is a problem shared
19:48It's good to talk
19:50People got problems
19:51They want to chat about, innit?
19:52You mean like the
19:54Ras-mal-la-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I
20:01-I-IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
20:08Now, we've added problems, innit?
20:18I feel better already, you know.
20:20Man, Oprah can do that.
20:21She can make the audience relate to each other.
20:24That's why she's the best, man.
20:26Better than Ricky Lake?
20:27Easy.
20:29Better than Montel?
20:30Yeah, no problem.
20:32Esther?
20:34Even Esther, man.
20:36Oh.
20:39Who do you think, right, would win in a fight?
20:42What kind of stupid question is that, man?
20:45I just wondered...
20:46Oprah would kick their sorry talk show butts, man.
20:49Oh, she's the best, man.
20:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:51But have you ever wondered, right,
20:52why there's no Asian talk show host?
20:54No.
20:55But it's a good question, innit?
20:57Because...
20:59Because it wouldn't work, innit?
21:00Why not, man?
21:01Well, imagine it, guy.
21:03On tonight's programme,
21:04women who run off with their husbands' sisters' husbands.
21:08And here's your host, Auntie Frame.
21:11Auntie comes on, first thing she does.
21:13Give everyone a couple, man.
21:17And then she says, right,
21:18total bestie, man.
21:19Oh.
21:19You women ain't got no shame.
21:20Get out of my studio, putt up, putt.
21:21Yeah, end of shame.
21:23Yeah, man, leave it to Oprah.
21:26Hey, hey, I think she's coming on, man.
21:29Whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop, whoop.
21:33Man, she look different from the TV, innit?
21:36What, what, what, what, what, what, what, what you mean?
21:38Fender?
21:39No, man.
21:40Whiter.
21:48Man, are you sure these are Oprah tickets?
22:08No problem, it's not too late.
22:20No, no, no, it's not too late, not too late. You don't worry. You don't worry about the thing.
22:26Hi, Mijan the Divine here.
22:28Welcome to another edition of India's favourite travelling programme, Backpacks.
22:33The show where I follow the travellers as they leave their rat race behind in search of action, adventure and
22:42spiritual awakening.
22:43And on this week's show, we have a group of Delhi students who have taken a year off to go
22:47travelling round the UK.
23:01Well, here we are, here in England.
23:04A couple of hours in and already we're experiencing major differences in culture.
23:10The English train system is a bit primitive. I mean, you never know how long you have to wait.
23:14Yeah, some journeys can take days.
23:17See, what you have to understand is that the pace of life here is much slower.
23:21More relaxed, huh?
23:22No, just slower.
23:23So, what is the most famous garden in the world?
23:26Yes, London's famous convent garden.
23:30You've been here a few days now.
23:32How are you getting on?
23:34Oh, it's fab.
23:35I love it, man.
23:36Me too.
23:37Well, apart from the beggars, that is.
23:39Oh, yeah.
23:40I mean, people did warn us that begging in England was pretty bad, you know, but we never expected anything
23:46like this.
23:47It's really difficult, you know, because you feel you ought to try and help.
23:50Yeah, but there's so many of them, you know, and if you give to one, you have to give to
23:53them all.
23:56Here we are, the local bazaar, where your ordinary housewife comes and does her shopping.
24:04The food here is very different from what we're used to.
24:07I would advise people not to buy from street vendors.
24:09It's not safe.
24:10Avoid the meat completely, you know, the meat is really too quiet.
24:15And if you want water, you have to have bottled water.
24:17They are the same everywhere in Europe.
24:21The girls have been doing a bit of shopping.
24:23How are you doing, lady?
24:25Oh, my God.
24:26I think we're doing okay.
24:28The thing is to try and not look like a tourist, right?
24:30Otherwise, they just try and rip you off.
24:32I know.
24:33Oh, Mira, look at this.
24:34I must have one.
24:35Okay, give me a hand with this.
24:36Okay.
24:38Excuse me.
24:40How much is this?
24:42It's 30 pence, now.
24:43Oh, come on.
24:44Don't charge us tourist prices.
24:46How much would you charge a local?
24:48It's 30 pence, love.
24:50He's just trying it on, yeah.
24:51Look, I'll give you 20 pence for it.
24:53That's all we've got.
24:54Listen, evening standard's 30 pence.
24:58It's quiet, tranquil, spiritual.
25:03You know, I think there's something almost religious about these places.
25:08I have gathered that you have undergone a bit of a conversion.
25:12Yes.
25:14I've become C of E.
25:15I don't know what you're thinking.
25:17But it's more than a religion.
25:19It's a way of life.
25:23It seems to me that you found your feet.
25:25What advice would you give other travelers doing the UK?
25:27Well, make sure you've had your jabs, damn it.
25:29I've had a runny nose since day one.
25:31Oh, come on, Lord.
25:32You can't come to England and not expect to get the flu.
25:34I think what I would warn other women about is the men.
25:39Oh, yeah, definitely, yeah.
25:40The attitude towards women is really bad.
25:42Yeah?
25:42I mean, everywhere we go, they just stare at us, right?
25:45I think they assume because we're Indian, we're some sort of Kamasutra Asian babes.
25:50I think they seem like they're just not used to seeing foreigners.
25:53Oh, come on, Lord.
25:54We've gone out of our way to blend in.
25:57For the last few weeks, you have been all over the UK.
26:01What have been the highlights of your visit?
26:03Stratford-upon-Avon was my favorite.
26:05Hmm, what about Oxford?
26:08Oh, I loved Oxford.
26:09Yeah, these places are all really nice, huh?
26:11But to see the real England, you have to go to the villages.
26:14Yeah.
26:14I spent a week traveling around a place called Surrey,
26:17and it was a different world, absolutely.
26:20I found a small village called Guildford.
26:22Do you remember something?
26:23There were some people there who've never even seen a brown face.
26:27Well, here we are.
26:29It's our last day, and we're going to the airport.
26:33Listen, guys, I'm not coming back with you.
26:36Dad, I just feel that this is my spiritual home.
26:39Yes, in what way?
26:41Well, I met a group of travelers that came in the 60s, you know,
26:44and they kind of just stayed and formed their own subsistence community.
26:48I will stay with them.
26:49Yes, but will you be happy?
26:50Oh, I mean, just look at this place.
26:52I mean, who wouldn't be happy here?
26:55There's no pressures of home, no universities,
26:58no looking for a good job, no parents.
27:01It's like paradise.
27:05Thank you very much.
27:37Right, so what are you going to be cooking for us today?
27:39Foygrass, chili con carne, beef wellington, lobster thermidor, pizza, baked Alaska, ruffles and cheese.
27:49Well that sounds really fantastic.
27:51Can we look at your ingredients?
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