Black Adder is pure British comedy gold 😂 From Rowan Atkinson’s legendary sarcasm to the chaotic historical disasters, every season delivers iconic humor, savage wit, and unforgettable moments. Whether it’s medieval schemes, royal disasters, or war-time satire, Black Adder remains one of the greatest comedy series ever made. 🇬🇧🔥
#blackadder #rowanatkinson #britishcomedy #classiccomedy #mrbean #ukcomedy #comedygold #sitcom #retrotv #baldrick #blackadderedit #90scomedy #80scomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #comedyshow #britishtv #vintagecomedy #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #classicbritishcomedy #legendaryshows #comedymoments #sarcasm #historicalcomedy #dailymotion #tvclassics #iconicshows #retrohumor
#blackadder #rowanatkinson #britishcomedy #classiccomedy #mrbean #ukcomedy #comedygold #sitcom #retrotv #baldrick #blackadderedit #90scomedy #80scomedy #tvseries #funnyclips #comedyshow #britishtv #vintagecomedy #viralvideo #fyp #explorepage #classicbritishcomedy #legendaryshows #comedymoments #sarcasm #historicalcomedy #dailymotion #tvclassics #iconicshows #retrohumor
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:28PIANO PLAYS
00:37Well, Mrs Miggins, at last we can return to sanity.
00:41The hustings are over, the bunting is down, the mad hysteria is at an end.
00:46After the chaos of a general election, we can return to normal.
00:49Has there been a general election, then, Mr Blackadder?
00:52Indeed there has, Mrs Miggins.
00:54Oh, well, I never heard about it.
00:56Well, of course you didn't. You're not eligible to vote.
00:58Why not?
00:58Because virtually no-one is.
01:00Women, peasants, chimpanzees, lunatics, lords...
01:07That's not true. Lord Nelson's got a vote.
01:09He's got a boat, Boris.
01:12Marvellous thing, democracy. Look in Manchester.
01:15Population 60,000, electoral roll three.
01:18Well, I may have a brain the size of a sultana...
01:22Correct.
01:22But it hardly seems fair to me.
01:25Well, of course it's not fair. And a damn good thing, too.
01:28Give the like of Baldrick the vote, and we'll be back to cavorting druids, death by stoning, and dung for
01:33dinner.
01:34Oh, I'm having dung for dinner tonight.
01:37So, who are they electing when they have these elections?
01:40Oh, the same old shower. Fat Tory landowners who get made MPs when they reach a certain weight.
01:47Raving revolutionaries who think that just because they do a day's work, that somehow gives them the right to get
01:51paid.
01:52Basically, it's a right old mess.
01:54Toffs at the top, plebs at the bottom, and me in the middle making a fat pile of cash out
01:58of them.
01:59Well, you've got to watch out, Mr Blackadder. Things are bound to change.
02:03Not while Pitt the elders, Prime Minister, they aren't. He's about as effective as a cat flap in an elephant
02:08house.
02:11As long as his feet are warm and he gets a nice cup of milky tea in the sun before
02:15his morning nap, he doesn't bother anyone until his potty needs emptying.
02:19For all members of the House of Commons, I call upon the new Prime Minister of Great Britain and her
02:24empires, Mr William Pitt, the Younger.
02:28Mr Speaker, members of the House, I shall be brief as I have, rather unfortunately, become Prime Minister right in
02:35the middle of my exams.
02:38I look forward to fulfilling my duty in a manner of which Nanny would be proud.
02:44I shall introduce legislation to utterly destroy three enemies of the state.
02:49The first is that evil dictator, Napoleon Bonaparte.
02:55The second is my old geography master, Banana Breath Squickshanks.
03:02But most of all, sirs, I intend to pursue that utter slob, the Prince of Wales.
03:09Why?
03:10This year alone, he has spent £15,000 on banqueting.
03:16£20,000 on perfume.
03:20And most astonishingly of all, an astonishing £59,000 on socks.
03:29Therefore, my three main policy priorities are,
03:34one, war with France.
03:37Two, tougher sentences for geography teachers.
03:41And three, a right-whirl kick of the Prince's backside.
03:47I now call upon the leader of the opposition to test me on my Latin vocab.
03:54Sir, if I may make so bold, a major crisis has arisen in your affairs.
03:59Yes, I know, Blackadder. I've been pondering it all morning.
04:02You have, sir?
04:03Yes, socks. Run out again.
04:06Why is it that no matter how many millions of pairs of socks I buy,
04:10I never seem to have any?
04:11Sir, with your forgiveness, there is another, even weightier problem.
04:14They just disappear.
04:16Honestly, you'd think someone was coming in here,
04:19stealing the damn things and then selling them off.
04:26Impossible, sir.
04:27Only you and I have access to your socks.
04:29Yes, yes, you're right still.
04:31For me, socks are like sex.
04:34Tons bit about and I never seem to get any.
04:37Sir, if I may return to this very urgent matter.
04:40I read fearful news in this morning's paper.
04:42Oh, no.
04:43Not another little cat caught up in a tree.
04:46No, sir.
04:47There is a vote afoot in the new Parliament
04:49to strike you from the civil list.
04:51Well, yes, yes, yes.
04:52But what are they going to do about my socks?
04:54Sir, if this bill goes through, you won't have any socks.
04:56Well, I haven't got any socks at the moment.
04:58Or trousers, shirts, waistcoats or pantaloons.
05:01They're going to bankrupt you.
05:04They can't do that.
05:06Why, the public love me.
05:08Only the other day I was out in the street
05:09and they sang,
05:10We hail Prince George!
05:12We hail Prince George!
05:13We hate Prince George.
05:15We hate Prince George.
05:18I fear so, sir.
05:19However, all is not lost.
05:21Fortunately, the numbers in the Commons are exactly equal.
05:24If we can get one more MP to support us,
05:26then you're safe.
05:27Hurrah!
05:29Any ideas?
05:30Well, yes, sir.
05:31There is one man who might just be the ace of our sleeve.
05:34A rather crusty, loud-mouthed ace
05:36named Sir Talbot Buxomly.
05:39Never heard of him.
05:40That's hardly surprising, sir.
05:42Sir Talbot has the worst attendance record
05:43of any Member of Parliament.
05:45On the one occasion he did enter the House of Commons,
05:47he passed water in the Great Hall
05:49and then passed out in the Speaker's chair.
05:52But if we can get him to support us,
05:54then we are safe.
05:55Well, what's he like?
05:56Well, according to Who's Who,
05:58his interests include flogging servants,
06:01shooting poor people,
06:02and the extension of slavery
06:04to anyone who hasn't got a knighthood.
06:07Excellent!
06:08Sensible policies for a happier Briton.
06:10However, if we're going to get him to support us,
06:13he will need some sort of incentive.
06:15Hmm. Anything in mind?
06:16Well, you could appoint him a High Court judge.
06:19Is he qualified?
06:20He's a violent, bigoted, mindless old fool.
06:24Sounds a bit overqualified.
06:26Well, get him here at once.
06:28Certainly, sir.
06:29I will return before you can say
06:30anti-disestablishmentarianism.
06:33Well, I wouldn't be too sure about that.
06:35Anti-distib-litz-min...
06:37Anti-mistil-litz-fork...
06:40Anti-stit...
06:43Anti-distinctly-minty-monitorism.
06:45Sir Talbot Buxomly, MP.
06:47Ah!
06:49Buxomly!
06:50Roaringly splendid to have you here.
06:51How are you, sir?
06:52Absolutely well, Your Highness.
06:53I dined hugely off as servants
06:55before I come into town.
06:57Um, you eat your servants?
06:59Yes, sir.
07:00I eat off them.
07:01Why should I spend good money on tables
07:02when I have men standing idle?
07:05Why, indeed.
07:06Now, I dare say you've heard of Mr Pitt's intentions.
07:09Young scallywag!
07:10Ah, so you don't approve of his plans
07:12to abolish me, then?
07:13I do not, sir.
07:14Damn his eyes.
07:15Damn his britches.
07:16Damn his duckbond.
07:18Oh, hurrah for that.
07:19I cannot adjot that you are the son
07:21of a certified sauerkraut-sucking loon.
07:24Oh, thank you, sir.
07:24It reminds not me
07:26that you dress like a mad parrot
07:27and talk like a plate of beans
07:29negotiating their way
07:31out of a cow's digestive system?
07:33It is no skin off my rosy nose
07:36that there are bits of lemon peel
07:38floating down the Thames
07:39that would make better regions than you.
07:41Oh, bravo.
07:41The fact is,
07:42you are regent.
07:44Yes, I am.
07:44Pointed by God
07:45and I shall stick by you forever
07:47though infirmity lay me waste
07:49and ill health curse
07:50my every waking moment.
07:53Well, good on you, sir.
07:55And don't talk to me about infirmity.
07:57Why, sir,
07:58you are the hardy stock
07:59that is the core of Britain's greatness.
08:02You have the physique
08:03of a demigod,
08:04purple of cheek
08:05and plump of fetlock,
08:07the shapely ankle
08:08and the well-filled trouser
08:10that tells of a human body
08:11in perfect working order.
08:13He's dead, sir.
08:16Dead?
08:17Yes, Your Highness.
08:19Oh, what bad luck.
08:21We were rather getting on.
08:22We must move at once.
08:23In which direction?
08:25Sir Talbot represented
08:26the constituency of Dunning on the World.
08:28And by an extraordinary stroke of luck,
08:30it is a rotten borough.
08:32Really?
08:33Is it?
08:34Well,
08:36lucky, lucky us.
08:38Lucky, lucky, luck.
08:40Luck, luck, luck, luck, luck.
08:43Luck, luck, luck, luck.
08:45Luck, luck, luck, luck.
08:46Luck, luck, luck, luck.
08:54You don't know what a rotten borough is, do you, sir?
08:58No.
08:59So what was the chicken impression in Adolf?
09:01Well,
09:01I just didn't want to hurt your feelings.
09:05So,
09:05what is a robber button?
09:06A rotten borough.
09:08A rotten borough, sir,
09:09is a constituency
09:10where the owner of the land
09:11corruptly controls
09:12both the voters and the MP.
09:15Good.
09:16Yes.
09:17And a robber button is?
09:18Could we leave that for another?
09:20Down here on the World
09:21is a tuppany-haveney place.
09:22Half an acre of sodden marshland
09:24in the Suffolk fens
09:25with an empty town hall on it.
09:27Population,
09:28three rather mangy cows,
09:30a dachshund named Colin
09:33and a small hen
09:34in its late 40s.
09:38So,
09:39no people at all, then?
09:41Apart from Colin.
09:43Colin is a dog.
09:46Only one actual person lives there
09:48and he is the voter.
09:49Well, right.
09:50So, what's the plan?
09:50We must buy
09:51dunny-on-the-world at once
09:53and thus control the voter.
09:55I shall need
09:55a thousand pounds.
09:57Thousand pounds?
09:58I thought you said
09:59it was a
10:00tuppany-haveney place.
10:02Well, yes, sir,
10:02the land will cost
10:03tuppany-haveney,
10:04but there are many other factors
10:05to be considered.
10:06Stamp duty,
10:07window tax,
10:09swamp insurance,
10:11hen food,
10:12dog biscuits,
10:13cow and hunt.
10:14The expenses are endless.
10:15Fine.
10:16Well, the money's in my desk.
10:17No, sir,
10:18it's in my wallet.
10:20Oh, splendid.
10:21No time to lose, eh?
10:22My thoughts precisely, sir.
10:23The only question
10:24is who to choose as MP.
10:26Oh, tricky.
10:27What we need
10:28is an utter unknown,
10:29yet someone over whom
10:30we have complete power.
10:31A man with no mind,
10:33with no ideas of his own.
10:35One might almost say
10:36a man with no brain.
10:40Any thoughts?
10:42Yes, Your Highness.
10:46It rang, my Lord.
10:48Meet the new Member of Parliament
10:49for Dunny-on-the-Way.
10:52But he's an absolute arsehead.
10:55Precisely, sir.
10:56Our slogan shall be
10:57a rotten candidate
10:59for a rotten borough.
11:01Warwick,
11:02I want you to go back
11:03to your kitchen sink,
11:04you see,
11:04and prepare for government.
11:08Right, now all we have to do
11:10is fill in this MP application form.
11:14Name,
11:15Baldrick.
11:16First name?
11:18I'm not sure.
11:20You must have some idea.
11:22Well, it might be sod off.
11:26What?
11:27Well, when I used to play
11:29in the gutter,
11:30I used to say
11:30to the other snipes,
11:31hello, my name's Baldrick,
11:33and they'd say,
11:34yes, we know,
11:35sod off, Baldrick.
11:37All right, right, right, right, right.
11:39Mr. S. Baldrick.
11:40Baldrick.
11:41Now, distinguishing features.
11:43None.
11:44Well, I've got this
11:45big growth
11:46in the middle of my face.
11:47That's your nose, Baldrick.
11:49Now, any history
11:51of insanity
11:51in the family?
11:53Tell me what,
11:54but I'll cross out
11:54the inn.
11:55Any history
11:56of sanity
11:57in the family?
11:59None whatsoever.
12:02Now, the criminal record.
12:03Absolutely not.
12:05Oh, come on, Baldrick,
12:06you're going to be
12:06an MP, for God's sake.
12:08I'll just put
12:09fraud
12:10and sexual deviancy.
12:13Now,
12:15minimum bribe level.
12:17One turnip.
12:19Oh, hang on,
12:19I don't want to price
12:20myself out of the market.
12:23Baldrick,
12:23I've always been meaning
12:24to ask,
12:24do you have any ambitions
12:26in life apart
12:27from the acquisition
12:27of turnips?
12:29No.
12:30So what would you do
12:31if I gave you
12:32a thousand pounds?
12:33I'd get a little turnip
12:34of my own.
12:36So what would you do
12:37if I gave you
12:38a million pounds?
12:39Oh, that's different.
12:40I'd get a great big
12:41turnip in the country.
12:44Oh, God, I'll get that.
12:45Here.
12:46Sign here.
12:55Your Highness
12:55Pitts the Younger.
12:58Why?
12:58Hello there,
12:59young shaver, me lad.
13:01I say, here's fun.
13:02I've a shiny sixpence here
13:04for the clever fellow
13:04who can tell me
13:05which hand it's in.
13:08Huh?
13:09Oh, school, school.
13:11On half holes, is it?
13:12Yeah, I bet you can't
13:13wait to get back
13:13and get that bat in your hand
13:14and give those balls
13:15a good walloping, eh?
13:18Mr. Pitt is the Prime Minister, sir.
13:21Oh, go on.
13:22Is he?
13:23What, young snotty here?
13:25I'd rather have a runny nose
13:27than a runny brain.
13:28Eh?
13:30Um, excuse me, Prime Minister,
13:32but we do have some lovely jelly
13:33in the pantry.
13:34I don't know if you'd be interested
13:35at all.
13:36Don't patronise me,
13:37you lower middle class jobbo.
13:40What flavour is it?
13:42Blackcurrant.
13:44I say, blackhead,
13:45aren't you sure this is the PM?
13:46Seems like a bit of an oily tick to me.
13:49When I was at school,
13:49we used to line up
13:50four or five of his sort,
13:51make him bend over
13:52and use him as a toast rack.
13:53Don't surprise me, sir.
13:55I know your sort.
13:58Once,
13:59it was I who stood
14:00in a big cold schoolroom,
14:01a hot crumpet
14:02burning my cheeks
14:03with shame.
14:04Since then,
14:06I've been busy
14:07every hour God sends
14:08working to become
14:09Prime Minister
14:10and fight smoth
14:11and privilege
14:12wherever I found it.
14:13I trust you weren't too busy
14:14to remove the crumpet.
14:17You will regret this,
14:18gentlemen.
14:19You think you can
14:20fault my plans
14:21to bankrupt the prince
14:22by fixing the
14:23dunny-on-the-world
14:23by-election.
14:24But you will be thrashed.
14:26I intend to put up
14:28my own brother
14:28as a candidate against you.
14:30Oh,
14:31and which pit
14:31would this be?
14:32Pit the toddler?
14:35Pit the embryo?
14:39Pit the glint
14:40in the milkman's eye?
14:44Sirs,
14:45if I take the
14:45Chancellor Metternich
14:46at the Congress
14:47of Strasbourg,
14:48poo to you
14:49with knobs on,
14:50we shall meet,
14:51sirs,
14:51on the Hustings.
14:53I say,
14:54Blackhead,
14:55what a ghastly squirt.
14:56He's not going to win,
14:57is he?
14:57No, sir,
14:58because firstly,
14:59we shall fight
14:59this campaign
15:00on issues
15:01and not personalities.
15:02Secondly,
15:03we shall be
15:03the only fresh thing
15:04on the menu.
15:06And thirdly,
15:07of course,
15:08we'll cheat.
15:10Good evening
15:11and welcome
15:11to the Dunny-on-the-world
15:13by-election.
15:15The first thing
15:16I must tell you
15:16is that the turnout
15:17has been very good.
15:18As a matter of fact,
15:19the voter turned out
15:20before breakfast.
15:21And I can bring you
15:22the result
15:23of our exclusive exit poll
15:24which produced
15:26a 100% result
15:27for
15:29Mind Your Own Business,
15:30You Nosey Bastard.
15:33Mr. Hanner,
15:34are you going to talk
15:35to any of the candidates?
15:36I certainly am,
15:37and I can see
15:38Prince George
15:39who is leader
15:40of what has become
15:41known as the Adder Party.
15:42Prince George,
15:43who is described
15:44in his party news sheet
15:46as a great moral
15:47and spiritual leader
15:48of the nation
15:49but is described
15:50by almost everyone else
15:51as a fat,
15:52flatulent git.
15:54Prince George,
15:56hello.
15:57Good evening.
15:57And good evening, Colin.
16:00How do we see
16:00your prospects
16:01in this campaign?
16:02Well, first,
16:03I'd like a word
16:04about the disgraceful
16:05circumstances
16:06in which this election arose.
16:07We paid for this seat
16:08and I think it's
16:09a damn liberty
16:09we should have to
16:10stand for it as well.
16:11And another thing,
16:12why is it that
16:13no matter how many
16:13pairs of socks
16:14a man buys,
16:15he never seems
16:15to have enough?
16:16Writing words
16:17from the Prince Regent,
16:18and now let's
16:19have a word
16:19from the Adder Party
16:20candidate,
16:21Mr. S. Baldrick,
16:23who so far
16:24has not commented
16:27upon his policies
16:28in this campaign
16:29but with him
16:30is his election agent,
16:31Mr. E. Blackadder.
16:33Well, we in the Adder Party
16:35are going to fight
16:35this campaign
16:36on issues,
16:37not personalities.
16:38Why is that?
16:39Because our candidate
16:40doesn't have a personality.
16:43He hasn't said much
16:44about the issues either.
16:45No, he's got something
16:46wrong with his throat.
16:48Well, if that's
16:48he could answer
16:49one question,
16:49what does the S
16:50in his name stand for?
16:51Sod off.
16:53None of my business,
16:55really.
16:56Now it's time,
16:57I think,
16:57for a result,
16:58and tension is running
16:59very high here.
17:01Mr. Blackadder
17:02assures me
17:03that this will be
17:03the first honest vote
17:04ever in a rotten borough,
17:06and I think we all
17:07hope for a result
17:08which reflects
17:08the real needs
17:09of the constituency.
17:10And behind me,
17:11yes, I can just see
17:12the returning officer
17:13moving to the front
17:14of the platform.
17:15As the acting
17:16returning officer
17:17for the E on the World.
17:19The acting returning
17:20officer,
17:21Mr. E. Blackadder,
17:22of course,
17:22and we're all
17:23very grateful indeed
17:24that he stepped in
17:25at the last minute
17:26when the previous
17:26returning officer
17:27accidentally,
17:28brutally stabbed himself
17:29in the stomach
17:30while shaving.
17:32I now announce
17:33the number of votes
17:34cast as follows.
17:36Brigadier General
17:37Horace Boltson.
17:38Keep royalty white,
17:39rat catching,
17:40and safe sewage
17:40residence party.
17:42No votes.
17:48Ivor,
17:48jesty,
17:49not Madam Biggan?
17:50Standing at the back
17:51dressed stupidly
17:52and looking stupid
17:53party.
17:55No votes.
17:55Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
17:57Boop, doop, doop, doop, doop, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
18:04Pitt, the even younger.
18:05Whig.
18:06No votes.
18:07Oh, there's a shock.
18:11Mr. S. Baldrick
18:13Adder Party
18:1416,472
18:21And there you have it
18:23Victory for the Adder Party
18:24A sensational swing against the Whigs
18:26I'll just try and get a final word
18:28With some of the candidates as they come up from the stage
18:31Master William Pitt the Even Younger
18:33Are you disappointed?
18:35Yes, I'm horrified
18:36I smeared my opponent
18:38Brived the press to be on my side
18:40And threatened to talk to the electorate if we lost
18:43Failed to see what more a decent politician could have done
18:45Quite, now I look in
18:47No votes at all for the
18:48Standing at the back, dressed stupidly and looking stupid party
18:51Are you disappointed?
18:52No, not really, no
18:54I always say if you can't laugh, what can you do?
18:59Take up politics, perhaps
19:00Has the party got any policies?
19:03Oh, yeah, certainly
19:04We're for the compulsory serving of asparagus at breakfast
19:07Free corsets for the under fives
19:10And the abolition of slavery
19:11You see, many moderate people would respect your stand on asparagus
19:15But what about this extremist nonsense about abolishing slavery?
19:19Oh, we just put that in for a joke
19:20See you next year
19:23And now, finally, a word with the man who is at the centre of this by-election mystery
19:28The voter himself
19:30And his name is Mr. E. Black...
19:36Mr. Blackadder, you are the only voter in this rotten borough
19:39Yes, that's right
19:41How long have you lived in this constituency?
19:44Since Wednesday morning
19:45I took over from the previous electorate
19:48When he very sadly, accidentally, brutally cut his head off
19:51While combing his hair
19:54One voter
19:5716,472 votes
19:59A slight anomaly?
20:00Not really, Mr. Hanna
20:01Now, you see, Mr. Baldrick may look like a monkey who's been put in a suit and then strategically shaved
20:07But he is a brilliant politician
20:09The number of votes I cast is simply a reflection of how firmly I believe in his policies
20:14Well, that's excellent
20:15Well, that's all for me
20:17Another great day for democracy in our country
20:19Vincent Hanna, Country Gentleman's Pig Fertiliser Gazette
20:23Dunny on the World
20:25We are reprieved
20:26It is a triumph for stupidity over common sense
20:29Thank you very much
20:30As a reward, Baldrick, take a short holiday
20:33Did you enjoy it?
20:35Right
20:37Will the honourable members please cast their votes, aye or nay
20:41For the striking of the Prince Regent off the civil list
20:45Excuse me
20:47Excuse me
20:49Excuse me
20:50Hello, little chappy
20:52You're a new bug
20:53Yeah, I don't know anyone here
20:55And I support the Prince
20:56And I don't know how to vote
20:57Well, we can soon change all of that, can't we?
21:00Come along with me
21:01Oh, thanks
21:07Well, well, well
21:08If it isn't the Lord Privy Toast Rack
21:12Pull up a muffin
21:13Sit yourself down
21:15You don't like me, do you, Mr. Blackadder?
21:17Well, nobody likes a loser
21:20Oh, then that must be why nobody likes you
21:23What?
21:24You lost the vote
21:25Your monkey obligingly voted for us
21:27Oh, God, no
21:30If you want something done properly
21:32Kill Baldrick before you start
21:35You're beaten, Ike
21:36And you and your disgusting master have 24 hours to get out
21:4024 hours is a long time in politics
21:43Good night
21:43There is just one thing before I go
21:49I've got this sort of downy hair developing on my chest
21:52Is that normal?
21:53Also, I get so lonely and confused
21:57I've written a poem about it
21:58Maybe you'll understand
22:00Why do nice girls hate me?
22:02Why...
22:02Oh, get out, you nauseating adolescent
22:13How could I have been so stupid?
22:16Goodbye, millionaires row
22:18Hello, room 12 of the Budley-Salterton
22:22Twilight rest home for the terminally short of cash
22:26And to think you once dreamed you'd end up in the House of Lords
22:30What?
22:31The House of Lords
22:32Of course I forgot about the House of Lords
22:34The Lords will never let the bill through
22:36Every man-jack of them will be behind the prince
22:39Oh, hurrah!
22:40Right, take Baldrick off the spit
22:42Hurrah
22:44I've got a plan so cunning
22:46You could put a tail on it
22:47And call it a weasel
22:52Ta-da!
22:55Oi, tally-ho, Blackadder
22:58You look as happy as a man
22:59Who thought a cat had done its business on his pie
23:02But it turned out to be an extra big blackberry
23:07Did our plan go well?
23:09Excellently, sir
23:10Order a thousand pairs of finest cotton socks
23:13Take out the drawings for that beach-hut at Brighton
23:15Hurrah!
23:17There was, however, one slight hiccup
23:22No, cough, I think you mean
23:28Hiccup
23:29The motion about your impoverishment
23:31Has now moved on to the House of Lords
23:33Oh, bravo!
23:34Well, no worry there
23:35That every man-jack of them will be behind me
23:38Ah, would that were so, Your Highness
23:40These are treacherous times
23:42Are they?
23:43Yes, it might be wise to appoint a new lord
23:46To make sure the old lords vote the right way
23:48Good thought
23:50New lord
23:52Any idea who?
23:53Well, sir, one name does leap to mine
23:58Does it?
23:59Yes, sir?
24:00Couldn't make it leap any higher, could you?
24:03A young man in your service, sir, who has done sterling work
24:06Matching the political machinations of the evil pit?
24:12Oh, of course, blackadder
24:15Oh, how can I ever thank you enough?
24:16And it might also be worth bribing a few lords
24:20Just to make sure that they vote the way their consciences tell them
24:23Well, how many should we bribe, do you think?
24:24Oh, I think 300, to be sure
24:27At 1,000 pounds each
24:31300,000 pounds?
24:33400,000, I think you'll find them
24:37Yes, yes, you're right
24:38Well, thank God I've got you to advise me, Bladdon
24:41Just remind me, what do I have to do to appoint this lord chappy?
24:45Oh, it's very simple, sir
24:46You put on your robes of state
24:48He puts on his
24:50Then you sign the document of ennoblement
24:53And dispatch him at once to the House of Lords
24:55Excellent
24:56I shall change immediately
24:58And so, sir, shall I
25:03Voila, Mrs. Miggins
25:05My robes of state
25:061,000 pounds well spent, I think
25:09Oh, very nice
25:13Oh, it's real cat, isn't it?
25:16This is not cat, Mrs. Miggins
25:18This is finest leather-trimmed ermine
25:20With gold medallion accessories
25:23Oh, go on, Mr. Blackadder
25:24It's cat
25:25Oh, look
25:27They've left the little collars on
25:31Mr. Frisky
25:33If found
25:34Please return to Emma Hamilton Marine Parade Portsmouth
25:38Oh, well
25:40Who cares about a dead cat
25:41Now that I'm a fat cat
25:42Oh, you're full of yourself today, Mr. B
25:45Which is more than can be said for Mr. Frisky
25:49My lord
25:51My lords
25:53I'm sorry, sir?
25:55My lords
25:55There is more than one lord in the vicinity
25:58Oh, well
25:59Yes, obviously
26:00Will you please welcome
26:01His grace
26:03The Lord Baldrick
26:13You made
26:16Baldrick a lord
26:18Oh, yes
26:19One who has recently done sterling work
26:21Matching the political machinations of the evil pit
26:23Good old Lord Baldrick
26:25It's all right, Blackadder
26:26You don't have to curtsy or anything
26:29Sir, might I let loose a short, violent exclamation?
26:33Oh, why, certainly
26:33Damn!
26:35Thanks, sir
26:36I say
26:37That's a bit of a strange get-up you've got there, isn't it, Blackadder?
26:40Yes, I'm just off to a fancy dress party
26:43I'm going as Lady Hamilton's pussy
26:51There's just one question, sir
26:53About the 400,000 to influence the lords
26:56Oh, yes
26:57I gave that to Lord Baldrick
26:58Ah
27:01Sir, might I be permitted to take Lord Baldrick downstairs
27:04To give him some instruction in his lordly duties?
27:08I think that's a splendid idea
27:09This way, my lord
27:18Give me the bloody money, Baldrick, or you're dead
27:20Give me the bloody money, Baldrick, or you're dead, my lord
27:26Just do it, Baldrick
27:27Otherwise I shall further ennoble you
27:29By knighting you rather clumsily with this meat cleaver
27:33I've got it
27:34What?
27:35I spent it
27:36You spent it
27:38What could you possibly spend 400,000 pounds on?
27:48Oh, God, don't tell me
27:51My dream turnip
27:54Baldrick, how did you manage to find a turnip that cost 400,000 pounds?
28:00Well, I had to haggle
28:05This is the worst moment of my entire life
28:08I spent my last penny on a cat-skin wind-cheater
28:14I'd just broken a priceless turnip
28:18And now I'm about to be viciously slaughtered
28:21By a naked Tunisian sock merchant
28:25All I can say, Baldrick, is this
28:27It's the last time I dabble in politics
28:54Adam
28:55Adam
29:15Black Adam
Comments